I Will Be Small - Tumblr Posts
I hate myself for eating too much those two days....
I'm fat
I need to loose weight
I need to
I feel ugly
I'm ugly
I need to either vomit or work out
Or starve
Or everything at once
Yes
I'll do that
proud of my self. I've barely eaten anything for 4 days
hiii my previous account got t-worded and i lost all my moots:(
my user was justprincessstuff and you might have seen some of my post like "i'd rather be skinny and depressed rather than fat and depressed" wether you used to know me or not, please do follow to be moots cus i miss you guys😭
MY SIBLING JUST SENT THIS TO ME HELP???
when did food stop being just food?
no cus why are so many ppl glamourising eds and calling it STARVEMAXXING like huh???
you guys i went to the mall today for fnaf and the place was packed with ppl my age and everyone was SO PRETTY AND SKINNY😭 literally irl thinspo all around me fr
like i wore a dress and makeup today and regretted it so bad cus i couldn't stop thinking of the "lipstick on a pig" quote...
also a group of ppl my age openly pointed at me and laughed as i walked by like help???
does anyone else get a headache after they vape?? if so any advice on how to stop it pls🙏🏻
i would give up SO MUCH to have my little sister's metabolism
she can eat bread, pasta, rice in one sitting plus desset AND STILL be so skinny...
i obviously lost the genetic lottery💀
why is pretending to eat so damn exhausting 😩
am i the only one who has a full blown meltdown when i someone's meal is smaller than mine??
idc if it has way more calories than my meal or if i ate less than half their intake that day if their meal is significantly smaller i go crazy...
this is a reminder for myself that maintaining is better than gaining.
maintaining is better than gaining.
as someone with an ed i subconsciously became so aware of other people's eating habits
i notice when they just push around their food around their plate or when they eat smaller portions than normal and wonder are they a picky eater or have an ed?
or when they go to the bathroom soon after a meal and i wonder are they throwing up or just have to use the bathroom?
and when they eat so much food in one sitting and i wonder are they just hungry and have a fast metabolism or did they binge eat?
and i feel so guilty all the time because one of the first things that always pops into my mind is that...
"i can't let them be better/thinner than me."
starving on your period makes you feel a different type of rage
as much as a love visiting my sister's house, it's always so horrible because they always try to feed me😭
like i know it's their love language but goddammit it's my hate language or whatever cus i keep thinking they're trying to get me fat or something💀
no kidding they pile food onto my plate and get kinda offended if i can't finish
yo the stuffing food into your tumbler/bottle and throwing it away later is actually genius😩 i hate wasting food but sometimes ppl just won't get off my back bro
idk why i try so hard to hide my ed at this point. i mean i still live with my family but im almost 20 and technically they can't force me into inpatient or smth.
the only thing stopping me is not wanting to further traumatise my younger siblings. they deserve a better sister than me.
does anyone have a decent excuse as to why i would be measuring my meals on a scale??
i don't want my fam to be suspicious or think i am obsessed with food/cals (i 100% am lmfao)