@ed - Tumblr Posts
MY SIBLING JUST SENT THIS TO ME HELP???
i would give up SO MUCH to have my little sister's metabolism
she can eat bread, pasta, rice in one sitting plus desset AND STILL be so skinny...
i obviously lost the genetic lottery💀
why is pretending to eat so damn exhausting 😩
am i the only one who has a full blown meltdown when i someone's meal is smaller than mine??
idc if it has way more calories than my meal or if i ate less than half their intake that day if their meal is significantly smaller i go crazy...
this is a reminder for myself that maintaining is better than gaining.
maintaining is better than gaining.
as someone with an ed i subconsciously became so aware of other people's eating habits
i notice when they just push around their food around their plate or when they eat smaller portions than normal and wonder are they a picky eater or have an ed?
or when they go to the bathroom soon after a meal and i wonder are they throwing up or just have to use the bathroom?
and when they eat so much food in one sitting and i wonder are they just hungry and have a fast metabolism or did they binge eat?
and i feel so guilty all the time because one of the first things that always pops into my mind is that...
"i can't let them be better/thinner than me."
as much as a love visiting my sister's house, it's always so horrible because they always try to feed me😭
like i know it's their love language but goddammit it's my hate language or whatever cus i keep thinking they're trying to get me fat or something💀
no kidding they pile food onto my plate and get kinda offended if i can't finish
yo the stuffing food into your tumbler/bottle and throwing it away later is actually genius😩 i hate wasting food but sometimes ppl just won't get off my back bro
idk why i try so hard to hide my ed at this point. i mean i still live with my family but im almost 20 and technically they can't force me into inpatient or smth.
the only thing stopping me is not wanting to further traumatise my younger siblings. they deserve a better sister than me.
does anyone have a decent excuse as to why i would be measuring my meals on a scale??
i don't want my fam to be suspicious or think i am obsessed with food/cals (i 100% am lmfao)
im back at my lw this week and was so happy until i tried on new clothes and my sister said to me "omg how do you wear that top it keeps slipping off of me..."
like okay? i didn't ask?
also she knows i "struggle with eating and body image issues" and always makes fun of me for that so idk i think it's pretty fcked up.
stuck in between wanting to always wear baggy clothes so nobody can tell im getting smaller or wanting to always wear normal/fitted clothes so everybody can tell im getting smaller
god please, i am just so, so tired.
i just found out that "metabolism days" is just a fraud.
excuse me, i have to go sob now.
DID HONEY DIET GET TWORDED??? SOMEBODY PLS HELP
when you're doing omad and they hit you with the-
"wow, you sure are eating a lot today!!"
going to the mall is one of my biggest triggers istg cus everybody be skinny but me rn for some reason
does anyone know why i can't purge?? like i try but nothing comes out except clear liquid... also how do you purge quietly??? im fighting for my life trying to be quiet even with the shower runningㅠㅠ
is it a psychological thing since i kinda have emetophobia?
ofc he'd check her out. how could he not when she's so perfect and tiny and you're flawed and huge.