Tw Calories - Tumblr Posts

I'm back!!

I have gained 7 kg thanks to lithium and other meds and now I'm the fattest I've ever been 🤩

good thing is that I don't want to relapse with 4norex1a or bul1mia, so now I'm just trying to lose weight the right way

I also went to see a nutritionist but the meal plan is like 1500 cal a day and I usually consume around 1200/1300 soooooo it's not gonna work!

today I binged 1500 cal also because I have to go on my period and I stopped smoking (I need to find an alternative to cigs to suppress my mental hunger, I will probably start vaping or something idk)

++ I'm planning to eat 800-1000 cal a day, and I also started to work out like a month ago and it's going great, it's really good for my mental health

anyway I will keep y'all updated, I really hope to lose at least 10 kg by the end of the year

106 kcal matcha latte to help with the fasting 💚

my mom is right.

I'm addicted to sugar, I'm addicted to carb, I'm addicted to over processed food.

I have to accept this.

And I need to fix this.

Period cravings are just cravings, I underestimated the power that food has over my mind.

I've been trying to recover for a year now and look at me.

I'm 71 kilos, because I'm a glutton.

Body positivity ruined me... well actually, I ruined myself by listening to all the bullshit that medias made me believe.

"there's no good or bad food, there's no healthy or unhealthy food, food is just food"

but if food is just food, then why do I crave more sweets after eating them? why can't I stop at just a few chips, instead of eating the whole pack? why do I feel tired and sick after eating a huge plate of pasta, but after eating vegetables and seitan I feel energised? and the most important question, why do I always feel the need to binge on over processed, sweet or fried food and never on fruits or beans?

if all the bodies are beautiful, then why is everyone trying to get slimmer?

I am poisoning myself, I have poisoned myself at every bite of sweet chocolate, chips, pizza, ice cream and fries.

I need to stop, or I'll die.

food is fuel, I am not supposed to eat the things that I eat, I'm supposed to eat eggplant, carrots, cucumber, hummus, beans, white fish, peaches.

and most important, I am supposed to drink only and only water.

well lucky I'm already at a good point.

I just need to push further.

because I need to free the skinny, beautiful girl, that is dying under all this fat and inflammation.

9 things that I've learned in the past few years thanks to having ana, mia and binge ed

1. the only way to actually see progress is to be consistent.

the only time I actually saw results was because I kept it straight for 3 months (but then I binged all the weight back, be careful)

2. don't restrict too much or you'll gain all your weight back (TRUST ME).

instead of eating less than 500 cal a day, calculate you average calorie intake online (for me it was around 1500 because I was eating out of emotions) and subtract not more than 300/400 cal. this will also help with the super hunger moments.

**this DOESN'T mean that now you have to take more calories away from your usual intake if you're already restricting, remember that your brain needs at least 500 cals to work, you can also fuck your metabolism up if you eat too less.

3. don't obsess with fasting.

it will simply fuck you up.

you can still do it sometimes, fasting is actually a healthy way to detoxify your body, just don't do it too often (one or two day a month is enough)

4. just don't think about it.

don't obsess, just try to stay on track, try to do this in the most healthy and responsible way possible, everything will be okay.

5. AVOID ZERO CAL DRINKS!!!!!!!!

I know this is shocking, especially because they help to fill up the hunger, but they also cause lots and lots of inflammation, that is exactly what is keeping you bloated and puffy.

If you don't want to avoid it, just try to drink them as little as possible.

6. throwing up on purpose shouldn't even be on your mind.

vomiting causes dehydration, which causes puffiness, bloating, water retention and plenty of other things that you don't want. it also ruin your teeth, your throat, your stomach, your breath will stink.

don't. do. mia.

7. the key to binges is water.

while you're in the middle of a binge remember to keep drinking water, it will fill you up faster and it will help you with your digestion.

8. unresolved freud oral phase? I got you

(if you don't know what the oral phase is look it up, lots of people with binge ed or food addiction have it)

you may find helpful: chewing gum, toothpick, lollipops, brushing your teeth, drinking water, biting something (a pillow for ex).

there is also smoking cigarettes or vaping, and to be honest it helps a lot, especially when you feel the urge to binge or emotional hunger in general, but you have to be careful to not get addicted (even if the 90% of us edblr people already are). just be careful.

9. if you're sick you have to eat.

you can't get better if you're not getting the right nutrients.

that's it.

most teenagers start off with anorexia

then they decide to see if orthorexia has any kick

it does

GUYS OMG I THOUGHT I GAINED MORE WEIGHT BUT I WENT FROM 71.9 TO 69.1 KG AAAAAA I'M SO HAPPY TO BE IN THE 60S AGAIN 😭😭😭

mealspo ⭐ (226 cal)

my current fear foods and some safe foods + explanation

(!!!! I don't eat meat or any dairy products because I'm lactose intolerant)

bananas: so tasty and doesn't have too many calories (I don't eat under 700 cal) and it's also full of potassium!!

any type of bars or industrial snack: even if it's low in calories it's so bad, they have a lot of additives and other chemicals that keep the body full of inflammation

nuts: idk I never liked them, I feel like eating any type of nuts, almonds etc is a waste of calories because they taste like wood

pizza: it's so high in calories, also I try to never eat a full pizza because it's not good for the stomach, I usually eat half and then eat the other half the day after

peanut butter: I recently tried it (I'm not American so here it's not a common food) and it was so sticky and had SO MANY CALORIES OMGG like I tried once bread with pj and it was awful, all I could think about was all the calories that I was consuming

eggs (without the bacon): I love eggs they are a good search of protein and they are low cal, I love toast with egg on top!! so yummy and reminds me of that Ghibli movie (sorry I forgot the name in english)

brioche/croissant: tremendous tbh, so high in calories, in fats, not healthy at all (especially industrial ones)

cucumber sushi: it's so good and healthy and fresh, also has not a lot of calories! but I try to not consume it often because the vinegar and other things that are used to make the rice sticky are not very good for inflammation

sugar: it literally causes cancer wth

cakes: soooo full of sugar and additives even if you buy them from a bakery, they are def a once a year meal, it's so bad for you, and the vegan ones have like double the calories of the normal ones

Starbucks thing? whatever: I never had Starbucks and I never will, it's so high in sugar and additives (and it's so expensive like wth just drink water) also I don't trust people with making my thing to drink

dark chocolate: if you eat a small piece of it quite often it's actually good for your heart and other cardiac things! also it helps me to prevent binges, and it doesn't have that many bad things in it

hamburger: lol I had only one hamburger in my entire life and it was when I was 7, it's just not good. like, I get making a similar sandwich at home, but buying an hamburger from McDonald's or smt? crazy, that's exactly why people are obese

pringles: they are SO FULL of chemicals and salt, they are so bad for health in general 😭 I'd rather have normal chips (where here the ingredients are just potatoes, salt, and usually seeds oil) but I prefer to avoid chips because first of all they are full of salt, and second they trigger my binges

toast: it's not a fear food but it's not even a safe food, I can eat it sometimes, it's okay, I mean it's just toast

cheese: any kind of dairy products it's so bad for humans, even my nutritionist explained to me that we are not supposed to eat dairy because milk it's supposed to be for babies (of that spieces), it also causes acne and other stuff that I don't want.

oh and also I try to avoid vegan cheese but just because it's very high in calories.

olive oil: healthy fat!! very good for lots of reasons, honestly I just cook with it (without frying things obv), I don't really add it to my usual meals but it's pretty okay

pasta: it used to be a fear food but now I tolerate it, ofc I try to avoid it because it still is a defined carb

meat: If you want to die of cancer or other terrible diseases, eat red meat. it's so bad for the body, even white meat.

smoothies: I love smoothies that I make at home, they are so yummy and they make me feel good afterwards, also they are great when doing liquid fasts 💚

sushi? cat thing?: same as the cucumber sushi, it's good but I try to avoid it.

m&ms: sweets in general are like so bad for you, so full of additives, chemicals, refined sugar, horrible for the body. and also they cause sugar addiction.

fries: they are literally fried potatoes, any type of fried food it's not good

tomato soup: here we don't have tomato soup but sometimes I make it with tomato sauce (basically the same thing) and it's good, low cal too! but I try to not eat it too often because tomatoes give me terrible acid reflux

cookies: same as the m&ms, also they trigger my binges so bad

my only 3 rules for this 31 days hello kitty diet:

- no binges

- no cravings

- at least 2 l of water everyday

I've been thru so much, I fucking deserve to be skinny

reminder that you can be underweight and not malnourished!!

DON'T go too low on cals, eat balanced meals, eat when you're sick, get enough sleep and water 🩵🩷

cucumber sushi with teriyaki sauce 🥒 🍣

(128 cals)

my mom is binging

anyway here's one of my fav thinspo

a mistake I made today

(I'm not cutting my calories too low like I used to, I'm swinging between 800 and 1000 thanks to the hello kitty diet.)

yesterday (well technically, two days ago since now it's 2 am) was day one of the diet, and it went perfectly, I had to eat 800 calories, I did it in 3 balanced and healthy meals, I was satisfied.

but what happened today, where I had to eat 100 cal more?

I didn't think about volume eating and balance

for breakfast I tried chia pudding, and for lunch I had cucumber sushi.

both are low in calories, right? right

for dinner I had a "wrap" with hummus, carrots and other things.

all of that was more than 500 calories, which means that I wasted more than 1/2 of my daily calorie intake only for dinner!

and the worst thing is that the wrap was not that filling.

but apart from that I'm still very proud, I didn't binge, I didn't eat anything else that was not in my meal plan, I drank 2.5 litres of water.

I already did meal plan for tomorrow and I divided my meals all around 200 cals each, and I choose lots of low cal food that I can actually eat in big portions.

oh and also I got very hungry today because I basically didn't eat protein which is a very bad thing to do, but don't we all learn for our mistakes? 🩷

can't wait to wake up tomorrow, not just because I'm hungry asf, but because I want to see how my body reacts to these slightly differences in my diet, from one day to another.

also I'm paying attention to eating super healthy food, no chemicals, no additives, no ogm, just organic and plain food that makes my body feeling good and full of energy (I actually need it both because I'm sick and I'm renovating my room by myself)

just so you know, you can vent/talk to me, express your thoughts or confess something in anonymous.

I don't judge 🩵

I was much happier before there were calories, weight loss and starvation diet in my life. If only I could turn back time ... I want to cry when I think about how the calories ruined my life

Why is bread 60 calories, thats so fucking much

Started counting calories again.

I'm a fat fuck unironicaly, I know everyone feels like they are a fat fuck but I am medically really fuckin overweight not gonna be posting stats or anything

I gave up last time because a friend convinced me not to, but I'm thinking if I just save my calorie budget for when I'm around them I'll be good to go

Budget right now is 1800, really fuckin high I know but last time I tried to get healthy I got really dizzy a lot and passed out I found out that it was because I lowered my calories to fast pretty sure a slow lowering also helps with not letting your body go into starving mode or whatever it's called where you can't lose weight.

Finding out how much calories me being at work burns was the best thing ever I'm in a ok deficit already (when I work my 1800 becomes like 600-800) and once I lower my calorie intake I might even get into the negatives on work days, plus the walk there and back and the small exercises I do at home<3

Really proud of my meals today! Thought I would share <3

Photos and calorie intake below the cut<3

3 plums - 90 Cal's (more than I thought but I had already cut them up before I checked) :(

2 rice cakes - 70 Cal's

2 eggs - 133 Cal's (if you get a good enough pan and use high enough heat you don't need butter or oil<3 so I can have my crispy fried eggs without the extra calories!!)

Spinach 20g - 5 Cal's

Onion - 8 Cal's (this one was a guess)

Cottage cheese - 28 Cal's (I don't love cottage cheese but it's high protein and low calorie so I use it as a spread!!! Makes it taste so much better<3)

Hot sauce - 0 Cal's<3

Total: 366!

And then this little salad for work<3

Cucumbers - 30 cal

Dressing:

Fish sauce - 0 cal

Rice vinegar - 0 cal

Soy seasoning (not soy sauce.) - 5? I think it was 5 Cal's!

Chilli flakes - I'm pretty sure it's 0? Maybe 5? I didn't use that much