Men In Thongs - Tumblr Posts
New thong, good luck finding it ;)
Chris assured beach patrol Brad was correct. No glitter. No angel wings. No problem. The outfit not only surpassed guidelines but was nothing short of a beacon of beach fashion. Now what exactly was beach patrol doing about this sand situation? It seemed like a lot and not difficult to imagine some of it would end up in the car for the next umpteen weeks.
What the AT&T lady said just didn’t register. Brad called to cancel the landline not get a new plan.
Brad put the receiver down to ask Chris. “Do we want ‘full coverage?!?’….”
Now that Brad said it out loud, the notion read nearly silly. A fierce 45 second single sided debate ensued.
Chris said if they were going to hold on to any unnecessary technology, it would be the wristwatch due to its advanced mobility feature.
Total peace broke out when Brad noted wristwatches didn’t take $50 out of their Chime account on the 5th of every month.
Boom.
Brad and Chris’ landline would finally die, die the next business day.
On the cusp of summer @ 12:33 pm it was already a balmy 79 degrees in West Hollywood.
A wave of heated silence permeated the side yard.
Brad and Chris’ neighbor, Luke was about to break a sweat. If this didn't scream June 2024 GayCali Calendar GURL, nothing would.
Full coverage swimwear for Chris was like a bouquet of hydrangea to Madonna. Sooooooo not on but brand adjacent.
Chris looked outside at the chaos below in search of its cause. Whatever presented itself here was big… really big. Like BIG, BIG.
Well, it was a good thing his thong was tiny. Perhaps it might help balance things out. Gay fashion always did thrive on size differences and exaggerated proportions.
Whatever it was, it was what it was, and what that was Chris didn’t know.
The people below sure seemed pretty clued in tho…
What Chris needed was more back up …but could he wear more than one thong? The thought consumed him. This second thong thing was a first.
Wait …no. No it wasn’t. He and his equally hot boyfriend Brad did that all the time when dancing. More layers meant more tips as they poured in every time something was taken off. So then what the f was this whole fiasco below all about?!?
Chris found himself more frustrated than ever. He was either at the cusp of figuring it out or really really horny and just not aware of its manifestation…
Well… In a stroke of luck, the whole thing blew over a few minutes later when Brad came in the room. He was already stirred up by some random exhibitionist that was live streaming and didn’t know it. Brad almost felt bad for the guy but he was just too hot to let that in.
Chris wouldn’t make the connection until catching himself on the balcony webcam grilling extra plump double jumbo hot dogs on their balcony wearing the same vintage blue Body Aware thong the following St Patrick’s Day.
You know, if it wasn’t for the local dry cleaners to take their lunch at the only time Chris could go by punctuated by a deep disdain for getting pinched, Chris may have never figured it out.
Luke didn’t have a number squared away yet for the fit. It could be a no less than a seven and maybe even a ten. It was certainly right up there. Maybe one more tug would settle the score…
Ahhhh. Who was he kidding? Everybody in!
As part of his commitment to embolden the erotic dancer profession, Brad proudly served up his infamous two layer beefcake.
Gustavio liked his meat pink.
Chris wondered if it was possible to face just part of the music.
Brad took another look in the mirror.
Geez. Should he just let it all hang out?
The red contraption was a gift but pretty little things like this always came with questionable obligation as an erotic dancer. This was especially true for all things pleather or ketchup red.
This was obviously a double doozy. Who does a person do in this situation? It was always a race to the finish with his big tippers. That never actually bothered Brad as a speedy coming to head meant a higher turnover.
Well, no matter who stood behind Chris or how much behind he got himself, one thing was for sure. The silky silver lining in this new t-back was about to give him a raging head start.
Brad snapped the selfie just in time.
Wow. That was a hot shot.
You know, if there ever was a big fat wiener here, it might just be his!
Brad was bizzay. Couldn’t his boyfriend Chris’ appendix wait until tomorrow to burst? Every gay knew the golden rule: You can’t rush sexy. Besides, they were working. Chris needed to be gyrating as an erotic male dancer not clamping his jaw and slouching over.
“What was tomorrow anyway?”
Chris responded with ‘mañana’. He then went on to explain it could also be ‘the day after today, but not the day after that because that would be the day after tomorrow.’
In an effort to clarify things further, Chris stated what the two were speaking to was the day before that but not today, rather to the day in between despite the fact all that was being referenced originated from the day they were presently in, whatever day that turned out to be.
Brad and Chris were en route to Cedars Sinai not two minutes later. Surprisingly, they were only the second gay couple to arrive at the ER wearing only designer thongs and flip flops that hour. That’s until Brad and Chris realized it was Gay Pride weekend in SF, Chicago, Toronto, and NYC.
Then it all made sense.
It was as close to hanging out Brad could legally do.
Haha. We said ‘do’.
Brad made lead shift captain after getting behind in his work.
The Swole Strip II
My favorite kind of Patriot— hot asf!
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