Ace Lesbian - Tumblr Posts
Lesbian visibility week includes m spec lesbians and bi lesbians reblog if you agree
Sometimes I doubt my identity and then I have to remind myself that I’ve only ever felt actual attraction twice in my life, both times to women, and I’m like “hm yea I’m definitely ace and into girls”
All of likes I was getting from white women on dating apps made me think of the narrative white media has created: blackness is seen as more dominant and dangerous, and black people — no matter what bodies we’re in — are sexualized. Consequently, blackness and masculinity, when put together, leads to an assumption of hypersexuality and promiscuity, which, in turn, leads to objectification on all fronts. When I see these likes from white women, I’m never sure if I am about to become a sexual experiment or someone’s first taste of the forbidden fruit to see if I fit the existing stereotype.
Somehow these stereotypes have been internalized even within the black queer community, where there is still an assumption that mascs are sex-driven and promiscuous. Generalizing black and/or masc folks as hypersexual is not only dangerous — it’s simply untrue — and this perspective doesn’t consider the masc folks who do not even experience sexual attraction. Because of the stereotypes associated with black masculinity, most people make assumptions about me, my sexuality and my sexual preferences. Thus, I feel the need to be upfront about my asexuality before an interaction with someone else gets too serious.
The most challenging part of my asexual identity is dealing with people who do not respect my boundaries. In navigating relationships with allosexuals, honest communication about sexual boundaries and needs is key. Everyone has a right to prioritize their own sexual needs, so I let people know it’s fine to not get into a relationship with me if they feel we would be sexually incompatible. I encourage my partners to be open about whether or not their needs are being met and to share how their needs can be met while also understanding my boundaries. Unfortunately, sometimes people confuse their sexual needs with sexual entitlement and automatically expect sexual pleasure from me — because again, people often assume that masc folks should give sex. As a black, masc, asexual person, I am continually sought out for my assumed hypersexuality. When people don’t get that from me, they automatically assume a flaw, forgetting there are other forms of intimacy within their reach.
Your Assumptions About Black Queer Masculinity Are Erasing My Identity, Timinepre Cole for Autostraddle (2022)
; just learnt about bi lesbians from @noahizslay so thank you !! :]
Lesbian visibility week includes m spec lesbians and bi lesbians reblog if you agree
as an aroace lesbian, this reminded me of earlier today when there was this discussion over mfs deliberately telling lesbians that sexuality is fluid and they can still be attracted to men at some point. Just like these statments of "ace/aro can still have sex/date", it is true; but SOMETIMES and for SOME PEOPLE.
and througout this disscussion, it was mentioned that this shit happens mostly to lesbians and not straight women/gay men/ bi people because lesbian is an orientation that completely exclude men, it doesn't centralize cishet masculimity at all.
and, tbh, if this was applied on the a-spect discourse... IT WOULD STILL MAKE COMPLETE SENSE
think with me, aro & ace are two orientations that primarily exclude men out of romantic and sexual attraction and relationships, which is a tool of domination of cis men over non cis men in general, sex & romantic relationships. even with oriented aroaces, romo & sexual domination are out of question.
long story short: lesbians + aroace spec = being constantly impliedly told that they can change for simply not focusing on patriarchal manhood.
here's the thing. "ace people can still have sex" and "aro people can still be in relationships" are objectively true statements. this is because people can do whatever the fuck they want forever regardless of their label/orientation. however some of you have GOT to get your shit together and stop using those statements to undermine larger conversations about aspec identity. following up "ace people don't owe you sex in a relationship" with "ace people can still have sex in a relationship though!" is not fucking helpful! yes it's true. yes it's a reality for many people. however if we used our fucking brains for a second and thought about how following up "people don't have to conform to societal expectation" with "but people can still conform!! don't worry they can still conform!!!!" is counterproductive and very frustrating for a lot of people then we could get back to the actual point which is not "aspec people can still have sex/be in relationships" but "aspec people can do whatever they want with their relationships and their bodies". which they can, by the way. they can do whatever they want forever. and you should give them 200 dollars every time you see them for dealing with this shit
non sexual intimacy!!!! bathing together, washing each other, playing with each other's hair, kissing every inch of their body, writing love letters on their back with your finger, connecting their moles and freckles to create constellations on their skin, running your hands up and down their thighs, ugh just expressing physical love without it having to be about sex!!!!
Asexual lesbians, reblog if you agree
BorealAqua Lesbian
BorealAqua Lesbian, Boreal Lesbian, Aqua Lesbian, or simply B.A. Lesbian is a term for lesbians who don't seek/prioritize neither sexual or romantic relationships. BorealAqua Lesbians might, or might not, want other unique types of relationships with other non-men, like QPRs, for example.
The violet and the lavender tint covering the heart were chosen because of the history surrounding these colours, like the lavender movement or the violets used by lesbians to show interest to each another. Violet means lesbian culture.
The cyan was chosen out of the aroace culture of using, not only purple and green, but also blue and cyan. You can see the blue and/or cyan on some aroace, oriented aroace, demirose, etc. flags, and I used this detail on this flag. You can tell I valued the cyan aspect more than blue, but it's because the colours would be too equal, imp. But the purpose is still the same. Cyan means lack of both romantic and sexual attraction/lack of interest in romantic and sexual relationships.
The gradient means two things: 1- Diversity in the lesbian community; From the butch women to the genderqueer lesbians, from the white lesbians to the lesbians of colour of cultural genders, and others. And 2- The many different and unique relationships that are not exclusively romantic or sexual.
The upside down heart means lesbians who don't seek/don't have/are not in relationships for any reason; Trauma, unable to get a relationship, or simply is not comfortable with being inside a relationship. This last one might seem controversial, but no one is in anyone's heart, everyone is crazy, and lesbians who are only capable of aesthetic attraction are not less lesbian. 🤷🏽♀️
Anyways, I hope y'all liked this flag. I really liked the idea of the Bambi Lesbian and the Aphrodite Lesbian and I decided to do something that has the best of both terms. Babaii! XP
BorealAqua Lesbian
BorealAqua Lesbian, Boreal Lesbian, Aqua Lesbian, or simply B.A. Lesbian is a term for lesbians who don't seek/prioritize neither sexual or romantic relationships. BorealAqua Lesbians might, or might not, want other unique types of relationships with other non-men, like QPRs, for example.
The violet and the lavender tint covering the heart were chosen because of the history surrounding these colours, like the lavender movement or the violets used by lesbians to show interest to each another. Violet means lesbian culture.
The cyan was chosen out of the aroace culture of using, not only purple and green, but also blue and cyan. You can see the blue and/or cyan on some aroace, oriented aroace, demirose, etc. flags, and I used this detail on this flag. You can tell I valued the cyan aspect more than blue, but it's because the colours would be too equal, imp. But the purpose is still the same. Cyan means lack of both romantic and sexual attraction/lack of interest in romantic and sexual relationships.
The gradient means two things: 1- Diversity in the lesbian community; From the butch women to the genderqueer lesbians, from the white lesbians to the lesbians of colour of cultural genders, and others. And 2- The many different and unique relationships that are not exclusively romantic or sexual.
The upside down heart means lesbians who don't seek/don't have/are not in relationships for any reason; Trauma, unable to get a relationship, or simply is not comfortable with being inside a relationship. This last one might seem controversial, but no one is in anyone's heart, everyone is crazy, and lesbians who are only capable of aesthetic attraction are not less lesbian. 🤷🏽♀️
Anyways, I hope y'all liked this flag. I really liked the idea of the Bambi Lesbian and the Aphrodite Lesbian and I decided to do something that has the best of both terms. Babaii! XP
I just wish I could go into the lesbian tag w/o getting bombarded with softcore porn
You're a lesbian if you feel like one. You're a lesbian if you also like men. You're a lesbian if you ARE a man. You're a lesbian if you're also aro. You're a lesbian if you're also ace. You're a lesbian if you're aroace—
I had so much fun at DC pride today.
Lesbian flag for me being an asexual lesbian (my ace flag was around my waist). The trans flag because I'm transneutral (FtN)
My OCs Rowan and Marleigh with their pride flags! It's been a while since I posted anything of them, also, please go read “I Left you Alone” by MapleWritesFanfiction101 on AO3, it's my account and I updated the AU with Rowan and Marleigh last night
I’m an Ace Lesbian
Hey everyone, it’s Kerris! Ok, so, I realized I was ace back in May, it wasn’t very hard to figure that out. I had a lot harder of a time figuring out who I was romantically attracted to, though. So, when I first put a label on myself back in 2021, I labeled myself as Pansexual (I hadn’t realized I was ace yet) and nothing really made me question it until August. In August I realized I might be a lot more into non-men and I debated if I was a lesbian until about the end of September when I settled on the thought that I was omni. However, when I was in this debate I was basing it on mostly fictional crushes and a few crushes I had on girls at school. Then, on Monday night my brain decided to start this debate up again. On Tuesday and Wednesday I watched a bunch of videos, took quizzes, and looked on Tumblr for answers. What ended up settling this was when I learned lesbians can have crushes on fictional men.
I think my subconscious was thinking about the possibility even back in June, though because when I create OCs I put part of myself into them (personality, sexuality, etc.) so when I created my TOH OC Rowan, I thought I was just putting the ace part of me in her, but I guess not.
Something I think might have helped me figure this out is Amity Blight and Luz Noceda. I have crushes on both of them and it makes me so happy to see this kind of rep in a kids show and might have figured this out earlier in life if I had something like this when I was younger. The first gay character I was ever introduced to was Nico di Angelo when I was in the 5th grade.
Yeah, so anyways, in conclusion, I figured out I was a lesbian this week!
Hey it’s ace week and you’re local ace has something to say! I’ve been out as ace for 3 years now and it’s still a big part of my identity that I’m proud of so here’s a lil something for those who need it!