Jaune: So You See, The Bite That We Saw In Fnaf 4 Was Actually Not The Previously Thought Bite Of 87.

Jaune: So you see, the bite that we saw in Fnaf 4 was actually not the previously thought Bite of 87. It was actually the bit of 83, where the crying child dies due to his brother, Michael, shoving him into Fredbears mouth.

Bleiss: *Nods* Mhm. 

Bleiss: (Thoughts) Wow, he’s so dumb.

Jaune: Now, many believe this to not be true, as the source code for Fnaf 4′s teasers left the numbers 8 and 7 everywhere, but this was most certainly a red herring. Not only did the television in the crying childs home showed the date 1983, but Phone Guy back in Fnaf 1 stated the victim of the incident actually survived. Meaning these are, without a doubt, two separate incidents.

Bleiss: Right.

 Bleiss: (Thoughts) God, I wanna choke on his cock~

Bleiss: Hi there! My name is Bleiss. And I'm gonna cut straight to the point. I wanna borrow your dick for a bit if that’s cool? I wanna just do a 360 on your tip until you grab my milky pale thighs and push me all the way down on it. Just use my small, smooth, tight little pussy as your personal fuckhole. I also wouldn’t mind if you just put your hand on my throat and forced me to look into your eyes while I’m just gasping for air while you rearrange my guts... Huh? Oh sorry, I guess I got a little uh... Not safe for work. Sorry about that. But yeah, can I ride that dick of yours? Pretty please?

RWBY: *Stares at Bleiss, shocked and appalled*

Jaune: Uh... Nice to meet you too?

Weiss: *Groans into hands from both annoyance and embarrassment*

I mean... Is this even a contest

Jaune: Ren, we have to leave before they catch us, but we need to go get our weapons to stop Ironwoods crazy plan.

Ren: If we stop Ironwood’s plan, then Salem will able to reach the relics.

Jaune: *Grabs Ren’s shoulder* But if we don’t stop him all the people of Mantle will get killed. It’s like the hypocritic oath of Huntsmen Ren. To not get innocent people killed on purpose.

Ren: ... Jaune.

Jaune: Yes?

Ren: Kiss me.

Jaune: W-What?

Ren: You know you want to.

Jaune: No, I don’t.

Ren: You didn’t just want to kiss me just now?

Jaune: I didn’t.

Ren: Ok... But you’re right. Let’s grab our weapons and stop Ironwood! *Runs  over to weapon locker*

Jaune: Now we’re talking! *Follows*

Ren: Right here. *Opens an empty locker before shoving and locking Jaune inside*

Jaune: What the hell?! Ren! Open the locker!

Ren: You’ll spend the night here. General Ironwood is complicated, but he knows what’s best! *Walks away*

Jaune: Ren? Ren!

Jaune: ... I will kiss you.

Ren: Too late. The moment’s gone Jaune.

Jaune: Ren! We can do more than kiss! Other things! REEEN!!!

(Kindergarten)

Bleiss: Hey, teach. Get the Molasses out of your ass and bring me that juice, will ya? You one mile an hour, walking, no-running ass, feet draggin' turtle, son of a bitch!

Port: Now, Bleiss, you can't go your entire life insulting people like that.

Bleiss: The hell I can, you bitch-ass, toupee wearin', fisheye'd, two year college degree earnin', no wife and kids havin', mustard stain on his shirt, kindergarten teachin' ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(Graduation)

Bleiss: Diploma handin', dress wearin', funny hat-ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(To Mirror)

Bleiss: First generation of your family to get into Beacon-ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(Watching Jaune Get a Coffee)

Bleiss: Love at first sight ass, three sugars, two creams in a coffee-

---------------------------------------------------

(First Date)

Bleiss: First date having, romantically compatible-ass, adorable man, hung like a-

---------------------------------------------------

(Jaune Proposes)

Bleiss: Making me the happiest woman in the world ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(Wedding Vows)

Bleiss: Love of my life-ass, til death do us part, I do, vow n'ring wearin'-

---------------------------------------------------

(Pregnant)

Bleiss: Tiny embryonic-ass, no finger prints havin', third trimester, son of a-

---------------------------------------------------

(To First-Born)

Bleiss: Beautiful ass, umbilical cord cuttin', little dick havin'-

---------------------------------------------------

(Father & Son Playing Catch)

Bleiss: Bitch-ass, no baseball catchin'-

---------------------------------------------------

(Son's Graduation)

Bleiss: Summa cumme laude, straight A's, makin' me proud-ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(College Visit)

Bleiss: Cats in the cradle ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(Grandchild)

Bleiss: First grandchild-ass, life begets life-ass, diaper full of shit stinkin'-

---------------------------------------------------

(Final Moments)

Bleiss: Touchin' ass, surrounded by loved ones ass, wouldn't change a goddamn thing, makin' me cry-ass, mother fucking ready for death-ass... Me... shiiiit...

---------------------------------------------------

(Years later)

Before her grave, Bleiss' grandchild looks upon their beloved grandmother's final resting place. Suddenly, an incredibly decrepit old man walks up to their side.

Port: Wow, I can't believe she actually did it. She was rude her whole life.

Grandchild: You knew my grandma?

Port: *Sighs as he pulls out the juice box she demanded from him all those years ago* She called me a bitch... *Empties out juice onto grave*

Grandchild: *Looks at Port perturbed before walking away* Weird, senile-ass, prune juice drinkin'-ass, mustard stain on his shirt...

Gravedigger: Grave's all ready sir.

Port: Great! *Falls back into grave*

Jaune: Thanks for inviting me to dinner Weiss. It’s a great pleasure to get to know your family.

Weiss: *A feint blush on her cheeks* Well, it was the least I could do for all the help you’ve given me.

Willow: Oh believe me, the pleasure is all ours Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Please, call me Jaune.

Willow: 🤭

Jaune: *Accidently spills drink on his shirt* Whoops.

Weiss: Oh no Jaune, your shirt. If you’d like, you can use our shower.

Jaune: No, it’s alright. It’s just a little spot. It’ll come out.

Willow: *Immediately splashes her whole glass of wine on him* Well that’s not gonna come out. You’d better take a shower~

(In Shower)

Jaune: *Whistling to himself as he bathes* 

Willow: *Cuts out hole in wall and peeks through* Oh my~ Quite the strapping young man you brought over Weiss.

Weiss: Mother! Let me see! *Tries pushing Willow out of the way*

Willow: *Holds Weiss back* Weiss, stop shoving! You wouldn’t even know what to do with it.

Weiss: He’s literally my age you cow!

Whitley: *Walks in* What the heck are you two doing in my room?!

Willow: Oh, hello Whitley. We were... just leaving. *Both her and Weiss quickly scurry off*

Whitley: *Curiously walks up to hole in wall* I say, what’s all the fuss about? I don’t get it, what’s in ther-BING BONG, Hello~