| she/her | 18 |
131 posts
Ky1ie123 - Tumblr Blog
My stomach makes such pretty noises when it's empty 🥰
I feel like my stomach is eating itself.
As it should☺️
I feel like some teen who desperately wants to be friends with the skinny popular girl that everyine loves (Ana)
But to be friends with her would be to abandon my oldest friend who saw me through the hardest times of my life (Mia)
I got triggered by my weight earlier and ended up binging....
Why do I do that? It doesn't help, if anything I feel worse after (which makes me want to eat more)
I just want to eat.
I just want to starve.
I wish I didnt constantly fight between wanting to do both all the time. I wish I was normal. But recovery doesnt exist for me
Fairy thinspo
To be a fairy you need to be small. Loose the weight so you can fly. Be small, join the fairys
Ball gown thinspo
To be the prettiest at the Ball, you need to be the thinnest. You need to fit the dress, why make the dress bigger to fit you. You want to look nice, right?
I don't dress for men, I dress so that every time I look in a shop window at how fat I am, I can at least smile at my outfit
I can't wait to go to uni, it's so much easier to starve when I have to study!!!
Just ate half a salad.....
You know your getting worse when you feel fat for eating a salad
(Would have ate nothing but that makes me binge, which is worse)
A lesson I've yet to fully learn:
Fullness is when you're content with the amount of food you've eaten. You might feel hungry, but drink some water, distract yourself for a minimum of 20 minutes after all the water is gone. Are you still hungry or just greedy?
Over eating is when you've eaten past content and your stomach can't fit any more food in. It makes you feel regretful, you could have stopped and you didn't. Next time, leave some food on the plate.
Binging is eating even when you don't want to, or you've eaten past fullness. It makes you feel physically and mentally bad.
This may be a bit controversial....
But I dont want to look sickly, to be skin and bones.
I don't want people to look at me and think "she has ana" or "why would she do that to herself?"
I don't want my weight to be a worry for my family, or something they feel like they need to look in to.
But sometimes, I want to look sickly, I want to be skin and bones.
I want people to look at me and think "she's so skinny!" Or "I wish I had her self control"
I want my family who couldn't care less when I was binging, or those that try to school me on bmr, but don't question when i say that I've been eating below it, or burning off all my calories. I want them to bend over backwards to try to "fix me".
I want to feel loved, to feel important. To both myself, and my family.
I work out because i eat, and I eat to have the energy for a work out.
I wish I could just work out and not eat.
I love my ed. And i love ed tumbler.
But the thought of one of my younger cousins, or that my neice might one day discover ed tumbler or twitter or even just develop an ed in general freaks me out. So I dont care if i need to eat a 500+ cal meal if it means they dont question why I dont eat.
My fear of normalisig ed's in their eys trumps my hatred of my body
Why is my head hurting and stomach rumbling. Like I litterally binged yesterday, you don't need fed, so shut up 🙄
i e4t a lot more than i want to because i know that if my younger siblings see me skipping all of my meals, they will notice and it can h4rm them.
just a reminder that if you let your 4n4/3d be rubbed off onto your younger impressionable siblings, you're not a good person. you can eat one or two meals with them so they don't know you ⭐️ yourself.
don't be that sibling that introduces 3d to your younger siblings. be better.
Saving for later, i love doing the dishes, especially when my family are out the house. They come back to no dishes and I say I ate and then did the dishes
why eat when you should do chores/ activities instead???
every time you're hungry, do one of these things and see if you still are:
1. clean your baseboards / walls
2. vacuum
3. wash and put on sheets
4. wash laundry
5. mop the kitchen/ bathrooms
6. clean bathroom
7. organize ALL of your drawers
8. clean all windows and mirrors
9. do dishes
10. disinfect every handle in the house
11. clean out your closet
12. go through all of your clothes. I mean put on every single article of clothing and decide wether or not you will keep it
13. take a full-body shower. shave, exfoliate, scrub
14. put your hair in a protective style
15. try new makeup/ hair tutorials
16. go online shopping for a fantasy wardrobe / house
17. re-irganize your phone and laptops
18. make an 4n4 journal. a page for safe foods, pages for calories in ingredients, pages for recipes, etc
19. color, paint, draw
20. read. after every page do 5 crunches, push-ups, whatever
Even though my flavor of Ed is the starve /binge cycle. Every time i eat i feel like I'm faking my Ed.
Tips for motivation
Everything might not work for everyone. Just find out what works for you. What works for one person might not work for the other. Some of these may be very toxic, I’m aware. Lmk if there is more to add.
Watch ed related movies/shows. My favorites are To The Bone, Sharing The Secret, Skins, and Thinspiration. There’s a bunch of other ones too, just look it up and you’ll find a long list of many.
Write down all your progress.
Set dates for when you want to have lost X weight.
Rewards when you reach certain goals, but don’t reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog.
Every time you overeat, write down how you feel afterwards. Then the next time you feel like binging, look at what you wrote last time. Look back at how bad it made you feel. Do you want to feel like that again?
Take a body check pic whenever you see any progress. So you can look back at it.
This might be a bad one, but compare what you eat to someone very tiny/a kid. I do that with my little sister. Making sure I never eat more calories than her. I’ve even done it with my cat before, as crazy as that might sound.
Scroll through Tumblr while eating.
If you eat over X amount of calories, you have to burn it all off again through working out, maybe even double the amount. That will probably make you think twice about eating.
Memorize a bunch of ed motivation quotes. There are a bunch of them all over Tumblr. Like ‘one minute on the lips, forever on the hips’ and ‘skip dinner, wake up thinner’ and ‘every time you say no to food, you say yes to skinny’ ect. Those are just a few I can remember right now, but there are a lot of them around here.
Make a pinterest board with inspo. (Meals, th1nsp1rat1ion, ect.)
I haven’t done this one, don’t think I ever will. But I have seen some people tie something around their waist, and leave it there to watch it get looser as they lose weight.
i WILL be underweight for fall. once i drop below 100lbs im gonna get a new flowery/princess bedding set. the mental image of me, frail and tiny, crawling into my big princess bed with a fall candle burning is all the motivation i need <3
Going on a 2 week fast,I literally wanna die, I've been eating so much
😭🐷🐖🐽😭
This is such a lovely server 🥰
join our 18+ ed server! we're all family here :)