I Think Part Of The Reason Why I Get So Obsessive Over People Is Because I Cant Fathom The Idea Of Being

I think part of the reason why I get so obsessive over people is because I can’t fathom the idea of being wanted. I have to be needed. Being wanted (kept around for the sake of being around) is just not a thing in my mind. There are always other motives behind it. So I have to devote all my time to making sure that a person truly needs me and can’t live without me because my instincts tell me it’s that or they leave.

I am under siege. The monsters want my blood. I have already killed six, their corpses littering my floor, but I can hear their incessant buzzing grow louder as two more fighters close in on me. They're all out to get me, every one of them hungry for just a taste of the life that flows through me. The hunt is on.

One of them finds me, drawn to the carbon dioxide I let out with each steady exhale. She darts in, circling my hunched figure as I desperately try to track her flitting form. My eyes lose track of her as the passes by the open window. Seconds tick by, filled with a torturous hum that I know will haunt me during the coming days.

A shadow flickers across the white wall, the monster revealed to me once more. I track her with my eyes, body unmoving. She engages, the heat of my calf her target. I wait, breath frozen halfway through an exhale as I lure her into a false sense of victory.

I lash out and crush her against the muscle of my leg. The rest of the air in my lungs is forced out as I quickly remove my hand, checking to see if my attack landed true.

Her crumpled body is revealed as it falls to the ground to join her sisters once more in death. I have triumphed once again and I revel in the sense of victory that surges through me.

And yet, the buzzing increases. My victory is just as fictitious as the one I gave her. I am surrounded. I am outnumbered. My strength is superior but, eventually, I will fail. I cannot stop the inevitable.

I will be feasted upon before the night is over.

DID being demonised/etherealised is hilarious to me because we’re just regular people with a little more trauma and a little less flesh sack

1, 6 & 9 for the ask game!

Hi!

I’m Ash and I’m fronting right now (and I think Piper is hanging around somewhere).

I usually feel calm when I’m fronting. My job is day to day life and I’m the most “neutral” of the system, which I find hilarious because I’m very dramatic and emotional. I like being in control though so fronting calms me down.

I’m not part of a subsystem (pretty sure).

We love asks so much so thank you!

“You’re creating your own problems by pushing people away and holding yourself to impossible standards”

I know!!!! That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop doing it!!

its not that i think im more deserving of, or better than the average person. its just i want that and when i want something you need to give it to me and when it isnt given to me i get mad because i want it