Traumatized - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Bringing this one back. I've been reading some irritating things. Fellow survivors, I'm afraid some of you may need to take notes too.
Here’s an idea:
(Sorry friends, this is an angry one)
Maybe you should fuck off trying to tell survivors how they should feel about their abusers. Here’s a few reasons why:
1. You don’t know shit about us or our stories.
2. Your experience does not in any way dictate or predict the experiences of others.
3. Many survivors have been taught not to trust themselves. You are contributing to this problem with condescending advice that contradicts our instincts and mental health needs.
4. The way we feel can change throughout the grieving/healing/recovery process. It’s confusing enough on its own; we don’t need your uninformed opinion further muddying the waters. We need to work this out.
5. Some of us can only move forward through forgiveness and reconciliation. Some of us can only forge ahead fueled by our rage and hate. Some of us fall somewhere in the middle. These are all acceptable and reasonable.
6. Only we can decide what is best for us. You do not know what is best for us.
If I was still with him during the pandemic and lockdown I am sure he would have murdered me by now.
Daymare
I had one yesterday. That's the only way I can describe it.
I was back in the house Spring 2015ish. I was in my current headspace, though, like I used a time machine. I was hellbent on getting out as soon as possible, but I figured it would take me two days to orchestrate.
My plan was detailed: how to get and where to find boxes (cold room - he rarely went in there), how to move everything, (bring some to folks night before) who would help me, (two friends chomping at the bit to get me out of there), and what I would do differently (take ALL of my things, sell the house, take my share)
What made it horrible was the realization that I had to suffer him for that time.
I'd have to talk to him. I'd have to have sex with him to keep him from being suspicious, and then share a bed. Then I'd have to break the news: he’d no longer have me to abuse.
The feelings I had knowing he was near came back by a fraction, and I was sick. I spent over an hour huddled in the shower.
How on earth did I live like that for so long?
I haven't slept much this week and it's affecting me: my mind is scattered, it's hard for me to remember things, stay focused and get things done. These are things that can be challenging for me on a good day, so in exhaustion I don't function well..
He kept me in this state for nearly two years.
How the fuck did I survive him?
He was the King of absolving himself of responsibilities by intentionally doing them badly.
He wanted me to serve all his food, even his seconds, so he would make an enormous mess serving himself. A mess I would have to clean. So I of course chose the route that was less work in the long run.
In early cohabitation days he went at something I had made so hard that food ended up on the ceiling. I have no idea how he did that trying to put food on a plate; I think he even impressed himself.
I can laugh now. He was a millwright with machining background and welding experience. He was so precise with the work he did, both with his tools and hands. Yet, he couldn't figure out a spoon?
What a joke.
Double Standards Series - Episode 3
He would spend hours out of the house with his friends and I wouldn't text or call. We all need some space and time with our friends.
I was very lucky to get 30 minutes without a needy or angry text when I went out.
This was one of gaps in my coping mechanism arsenal that I owe to him.
I mourn for the functioning adult I may have become if he hadn't held me under his thumb.
Buttered up.
Before we moved out of the house, I made a breakfast sandwich for him at his mother’s place.
I usually fry eggs in butter, and for him, I used more than usual because he likes his eggs well done and I didn’t want it to stick. I also added peppers and onions to the pan, which had temporarily increased the visible liquid. If you’ve ever even put something in the microwave, you know that liquid cooks off.
He started streaming that it was going to be greasy and disgusting. That I was a fucking moron and I couldn’t do anything right.
He did it in front of his mother, who told him to shut up when people make food for you. He glared at her until I finished his breakfast sandwich
He assured me he wouldn’t eat it. I told him if he didn’t want to eat it, then I would. That was sufficient motivation; he wouldn’t want me to get to eat without him, that would mean I was more special than him or something.
Then he praised it. It was delicious.
Do you think there was an apology? You already know the answer to that.
Look at that cat, shaking his legs due to fear of all the bombs. Cannot walk anymore. Animals cannot hide their feelings. Imagine what Palestinians feels inside. Babies, children, mentally handicapped or handicapped people in general like blind and deaf people, elderly.
Where are you vegans and animal rights activist who supports israel?Perhaps the animals from Palestine are lower than animals in your country. Make some excuses. But, it's not my business.
That cat like others in palestine is traumatized for life.
That cat is lucky. He cannot hunt anymore since his limbs are paralyzed. Other animals like him will starve to death if they are not taken care of by humans. Thanks Israel and America
Look at that cat, shaking his legs due to fear of all the bombs. Cannot walk anymore. Animals cannot hide their feelings. Imagine what Palestinians feels inside. Babies, children, mentally handicapped or handicapped people in general like blind and deaf people, elderly.
Where are you vegans and animal rights activist who supports israel?Perhaps the animals from Palestine are lower than animals in your country. Make some excuses. But, it's not my business.
That cat like others in palestine is traumatized for life.
That cat is lucky. He cannot hunt anymore since his limbs are paralyzed. Other animals like him will starve to death if they are not taken care of by humans. Thanks Israel and America
stop calling people's triggers stupid. I don't care if someone is triggered by a fucking cloud with a smiley face, you do not get to determine whether or not to respect someone's triggers just because YOU find it silly. fuck off.
wtf was episode15 even all about, the way i waited for a teaser at the end for episode16 and im right guessing there's no way they will do that, my poor baby gaon is so confused and betrayed at the end
There are no words that could describe how much I’m traumatized by 2521. It was the most perfect and the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Some scenes hit too close to home and I’m not sure that I will ever fully recover from it.
I think some of you may already know this, but the ones who dont, im about to ruin finding nemo for you! In real life, if nemo’s, clown fish’s, mother would’ve died, nemo’s father would’ve changed his sex. Yay, nemo would have had a mom again. But thats not all, after that, nemo’s new mom would have either killed little nemo or mate with him. You are welcome!
I just had the most traumatizing&disturbing dream ever! It was about a beautiful&tragic lovestory between shrek and superman…. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!!
OH MY GOD I JUST FOUND OUT THAT DURING THE DOCTOR'S RIOT BARON VON STEUBEN WAS BASHED ON THE FRICKING HEAD AND COLLAPSED OH MY GOD OH MY GOD MY SCRIMBLO SKRUNKLY OH MY GOD IS HE OKAY!?
(I told my dad this and he said "NO, he's not okay, he is literally dead")
Calling all Foldlets: let’s form a support group after the newest member episode, because what the fuck.