Buttered Up.

Buttered up.

Before we moved out of the house, I made a breakfast sandwich for him at his mother’s place.

I usually fry eggs in butter, and for him, I used more than usual because he likes his eggs well done and I didn’t want it to stick.  I also added peppers and onions to the pan, which had temporarily increased the visible liquid.  If you’ve ever even put something in the microwave, you know that liquid cooks off.  

He started streaming that it was going to be greasy and disgusting.  That I was a fucking moron and I couldn’t do anything right.  

He did it in front of his mother, who told him to shut up when people make food for you.  He glared at her until I finished his breakfast sandwich

He assured me he wouldn’t eat it.  I told him if he didn’t want to eat it, then I would.  That was sufficient motivation; he wouldn’t want me to get to eat without him, that would mean I was more special than him or something.

Then he praised it.  It was delicious.

Do you think there was an apology?  You already know the answer to that.

Oof.

“You were forcing me to feel guilty about having wounds, you pretended my emotions weren’t real, you dramatized your most tiny problems until they looked more important than my whole life struggles, you punished me over and over again for “not following your rules” and you had the fucking nerve to pretend that I was the toxic one.”

— (via furiousgoldfish)

Some nights he would wake me up multiple times telling me I was snoring.

I do snore. But a few times he did it while I was still awake. He thought i was sleeping and wanted a reason to wake and shame me.

Today in Review

Me: I have a lot of work to get done today, and people are depending on me. Oh shoot, I have two appointments that will interrupt my day too. I should probably get started.

Brain: Maybe you should panic and do nothing for four hours instead.

Me: ... well, no, if I plan and start n....

Brain: PANIC AND DO NOTHING FOR FOUR HOURS!!!

I'm certain he has someone.

I wonder how much he uses his time with me to torture her.

I bet he's always suspicious and checking her phone, and tells her he can't help that he can't trust; his ex was such a whore.

I bet he screams and throws things at her when she brings up something he does that hurts or bothers her. He's sorry, but he can't help it; his ex was a bitch and she just said something like his ex would say.

I bet he calls her as stupid as his ex when she forgets something.

I bet he's hit her when something is out of place. His ex couldn't be trusted to be responsible or keep house properly, and he doesn't want to live with a pig again.

On the other hand, I'm sure he's told her that he was practically addicted to sex with his ex. It would just be a coincidence that he'd bring these things up when she's not in the mood or doesn't want to do a specific sex act.

I'm sure he's mentioned that his ex made great food when she's burned dinner or made something he didn't like. Or worse, when she didn't feel like cooking.

I'm sure that he's mentioned how dutiful his ex was with the housework when she wants to go do something fun or socialize.

I'm sure his ex's agreeableness (code for: door mat) has come up when she's feeling vulnerable and jealous about the strippers and other women he flirts with.

I'm sure I, his ex, am a very useful manipulation tool.