Servers - Tumblr Posts

Anybody ever get freaked out when you're alone (most likely at night) and you open a game or app and it says like failed to comment or that servers are down while the title music just plays and you know that it should be over now because you're supposed to be in the game by now but oh my God you're still at the title screen staring at a message? Anyone???

Btw the servers I know are origins smp, dream smp, hermitcraft, content smp, empires smp, outsiders smp, evo, lifesteal smp, pirates smp, rats smp, qsmp, and many more. (:

By the way if you're creating a space like a private group chat or a Discord server it is absolutely your responsibility to make sure that space is safe.

It is your responsibility to moderate it. To regulate the behavior displayed within it. To take action when people create harm. You cannot just create this space then wash your hands of any responsibility for what happens within it.

I keep seeing so many teens making servers and chats and groups and then whining that they're getting bullied for not doing anything when people use them to cause harm and upset and I cannot stress this enough.

You are responsible for shutting that down. Or for sourcing someone to do it on your behalf. You have control of that space. You are not just an innocent bystander.

"Anything goes here, if you're offended just leave" is absolutely not an excuse for blatantly allowing things like harassment, bullying, racism, homophobia and other targeted hate.

Discord in particular is incredible for available resources for preventing things like this. There are literally hundreds of server bots you can deploy to auto-moderate and manual moderation is as easy as two little clicks.

If you feel you're responsible enough to be in the position of power of creating a space, you are responsible enough to ensure it is not used for harm.

And if you're not?

Well.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

I'm not asking out of some kind of contrarianism, it's just that it seems like a good idea to get this spelled out, because I'm not seeing it, and I'd imagine others are not as well: Why specifically is it dangerous to go incognito into an anti-ship space or a pro-ship space if one is the opposite?

Because deceiving people and inserting yourself into spaces wherein you are overtly unwelcome has no positive or beneficial outcome. And there are batshit insane people on both sides who are known to go as far as doxxing, stalking, getting people fired, creating revenge pornography and so forth.

Absolutely nothing is worth that. No amount of fake friends or "gleaning information" or whatever other excuse you have is worth risking the sanctity of your life for.

For example, the anon who started this conversation is "incognito" in a server full of people supposedly their "friends," and yet they are constantly making it overtly aware that they think the kind of person anon (secretly) is is disgusting and immoral. How do you think they're going to react if they find out the person they're supposed to be friends with is actually the very thing they hate?

Even if their reactions aren't inherently dangerous they are certainly not going to be pleasant. It is simply not worth the risk at all.

The thing about "there needs to be space to discuss sexist tropes is..." isn't this just inviting people to look at servers for mlm ships and go "hm, I need to go in and harass people in this server for not shipping these boys with their canon love interests" or something. I have been in so many servers ruined for me because people came in and started yelling about m/m shippers and making me feel guilty about discussing the ships, even if they weren't talking about me individually.

No, but people will invite themselves into MLM spaces to do that regardless. (Also that's homophobia, not sexism.)

Homophobes will try to enter MLM spaces spaces regardless of the intent of the space or if they're welcome or not. Having spaces that permit critical discussions have no relevance to things like homophobia beyond the fact that these people will merely see it as an easier opportunity to be a dickface and will try their luck.

But again, they'd try their luck anyway. That's what bigots do. They're like diseases, invading spaces and trying to infect and destroy them.

Its on the people who run the servers to adhere to their responsibility to keep them safe, in those instances. This is why I always try to dissuade people from establishing Discord servers open to the public if they are not 100% willing and committed to actually moderating them and taking on that responsibility of safeguarding.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

Omg that post. (About not every space needing to be political) The amount of people who need every single little "what if this" "what if that" explained to them. It hurts. You cannot account for every single exception or situation and I'm damn well sure they know that but God. They want everyone to hold their hand. Stay strong. You got this.

I'm in a couple of servers that refuse to have dedicated vent spaces and they're very fun to be in and don't have drama. It works.

Yeah, the amount of people who are reading it and immediately launching into accusations of perpetrating racism and bigotry is... Concerning, to say the least. It just goes to show how far we've been pushed into believing that everything is offensive and that unless we're 24/7 "fighting bigotry" that we are the problem.

At this point I've stopped actually attempting to reason with any of them. If they're unwilling to read the literal thousands of other responses detailing why these spaces are viable and necessary, they are simply unwilling to acknowledge they are wrong. Its memes and eye rolling from here on out.

"Some of us don't have that chance ever?" Am I wrong in saying that if you have access to the internet you have the chance for atleast some downtime?

You are not wrong.

If people have the time to be sitting on Tumblr arguing, they have the time to decompress and find spaces away from negativity and pressure. They simply don't want to.

tbh all the people complaining about "i NEED to vent in non-vent spaces" reek of selfishness and narcissism. there's a server i'm in with two vent spaces. one is 18+ because there's an 18+ section. legit watched one person vent about another who couldn't see the 18+ section. using it to deliberately hide from them. despite the fact. yknow. DMs with other people exist. small group chats can be made at any time. nope! have to vent in this subsection where the members who can see both vent chats can report me for it.

Yeah, internal member conflict is another reason why honestly things like venting channels and negativity spaces in open-access things like Discord servers are just.... Not a good idea, no matter how therapeutic or helpful or easy to ignore you think they are.

Allowing members to just spew out negativity and complaints and toxic thoughts just allows other people to respond to them. I've lost count of how many times I've seen someone venting and someone else has started commenting lashing out at the original person or accusing them of bad behavior or blaming them for what happened. Then other members pile in to agree or disagree and before you know it half the server is at verbal war.

Its just not healthy for anyone involved. If you try to outlet your emotions and get shut down, its going to impact you worse in the long run. It is absolutely more beneficial to privately release your thoughts and use those public spaces in order to farm more positive outlets and distractions.

E.g; keep a diary. Write down all your bad shit then go to the Discord server and say hey, I've had a bad day, spam me with fun shit to cheer me up. Find something worthwhile to engage with. Have a fun, dynamic conversation with other people.

I think far too many people think the only proper way to process and move on from negativity is to involve other people and actively dissect it and honestly, it really isn't. Especially when other people already have their owns shares of misery and suffering.

I wonder if some of the controversy over the idea of vent channels is less about being able to discuss topics and more about throwing the topics out as bait. People want to vet other users by gauging their reactions to the topics, to make sure they have "the right opinions."

Because there's no other reason I can think of for why people in half-a-dozen servers need a vent channel in every single one. It's not that they want to discuss the topic. (That compulsion would be met with one server.) It's that they want to discuss the topic with different groups of people. Because they require an echo chamber where they know everyone is on the same page as them. (Or they self-destructively want to debate if they find out someone does not agree.)

Which is ridiculous because if you're in a space for a fandom, all that should matter is that a person likes that fandom and you like their opinions as relevant to it. I think it's a chronically online take that a person should have the same outlook on every single topic as you. I can be friends with coworkers while never bringing up controversial topics (mostly because it's actually against company policy). Sometimes, all you need is a vibe check.

Yes, there are big issues that could make or break a fandom friendship you have with someone. But since it is not relevant to the fandom, maybe just assume they agree with you on every level and judge them based on other, immediate behavior. Or assume they hold every single "wrong" opinion and determine if you could live with that. However, as relevant to strictly fandom discussion, it really doesn't matter. At all.

I honestly have nothing to add to this. You're right.

im using a concept with my therapist called "emotional vomit" just things you say and do when you are in a state that you don't want to have to deal with after you are finished - I have a password protected side blog for that shit so afterwards I don't have to do any clean up when I feel better cause if you emotionally vomit on other people you would get the same disgusted reaction as if you actually vomited on another person when there is a TOILET RIGHT THERE

Emotional vomit paired with reflection exercises and discussions is actually a very common technique used in therapy to help promote self-reflection, understanding and the ability to manage your emotions and actions better in the future.

Its also something you can do at home, or you can ask your therapist to do of your own accord. You don't even necessarily have to only write things down or record yourself when you're in a high-emotion state. You can do it as and when.

I know a lot of excuses reasons for people wanting things like vent channels in servers is because they may not necessarily have that easily accessible outlet in their daily life, or because they feel they need outside input and sympathy for their suffering, but recruiting online strangers to be your unpaid therapists and emotional dumpsters is just overall iffy at best.

There's already been ample responses of people going; "well yes but racism."

It was not what I was talking about. I advise looking through the reblogs and the reblog tags in order to see the responses which correlate to the purpose and core point of this post.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

Vent channels typically attract two types of people

Spiralers and People pleasers

Neither of which are good to put together because they make each other worse.

Every emotion you have is ok to feel but maturing is learning who actually cares about you, and that not all emotions need to be expressed to everyone.

Sometimes you need to keep it internal until its socially safe to express it - something I learned the hard way from being autistic

Every vent channel I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing has at some point devolved into people arguing because of something one person said, or someone thinks someone else is in the wrong, or someone got personally offended by someone else's ranting.

I'm not wholly against vent channels, I just believe that the management and moderation of them is sorely lacking to the point that when they are present, they're less helpful and more just... Festering.

If you're going to have a place in your server where people are going to be purely negative and where people are going to be unleashing vulnerability, anger, sadness, prejudice, where they're going to be raising delicate and complex issues, you really need to watch it like a fucking hawk and monitor it. It needs to be somewhere where people outlet and move on, not where people are allowed to offer unprofessional advice or combative arguments to people who are in a fragile mindset.

How do I tell an entire indonesia based dnd server that the people behind Serverstuck (all of them only knew them from their pathfinder podcast & only aware of the homestuck homebrew module they made, not the entire server activities) aren't good people?

This is highly concerning because one wrong move in that homestuck server like having a character who's 25 years old dating a character in the 100s years old can lead to a ban for age gap

Even a mere 2 years difference between allowed kids age (13-18) can get someone banned

If they're the type of people to ban you for reasonable age gaps, they're likely not the type of people to listen to reason. You can certainly send them some information and resources on the situation, but it would likely result in you being banned anyway.

If you do want to reach out to them and inform them, I'd first create a back-up server of your own design and control and get it fully functional and ready for other members (and maybe even bring some members in) beforehand so you're not out on your ass with nothing if they do bring down the hammer.

(Or find a different server which suits your needs rather than building your own.)

You should always approach education in a milder manner, without superiority or aggression. Often the biggest mistake people make when trying to raise awareness of something or change people's views is stampeding in and acting shitty or snotty about it.

I'd gather a range of evidence from different sources, not just just one. Tumblr, Youtube, online articles, any official broadcasts or publishings, ect. This way there's no doubt about the information, bias, and there's a range of references. (So they can't just dismiss the information given because its a "witch hunting Tumblr post" or what have you.)

If you're concerned about being banned, frame it as bringing it to attention for the greater good of the server and the people within it. Banning such age gaps is often down to simply not wanting to appear to be a bad person or someone who supports bad things, so you can weaponize that to a fashion. But of course tactfully and carefully.

For example:

"I've been researching this topic for a long time now and I feel confident that its appropriate to reach out and make sure you as the mods and admins of the server are aware of—"

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

i wholeheartedly believe that every karen shitting on servers in restaurants ought to play Dead Plate.

Seriously, the panic of meeting orders? Unmatched.

guys?? hahahaha?? why didn’t ik there was sm content about my own goddamn server

i mean i kinda have it but not really?? it’s just a fuck-a-round and find out server tbh

legitimate fucking lifehack: discord server literally just for yourself to keep track of stuff over devices. links. reminders and checklists. all neatly divided into categories. search function and dates. why didnt i do this earlier oh my god.

I now have the compulsive urge to start a new mc server because of 1 (oNE?) dreamsmp vid