Quiet Bpd - Tumblr Posts
If you’re living with BPD like I am you know that stability is hard to achieve and even harder to stick to on a daily basis. DBT skills are a vital part of us getting through the ups, downs, rages and triggers, with as little collateral damage, or damage to ourselves, as possible. After going through DBT group therapy I decided to start making my own guide graphics for the skills because there simply weren’t enough cute visuals available. I often think that something has to be aesthetically pleasing for us to pay attention, and for me that means lots of colors! I make these graphics, using Photoshop and DBT skill print outs that are easily found with a google search. I also think the less clinical language can go a long way💗
*I’m not a licensed clinician or therapist, I’m a woman who’s been battling her BPD for over 16 years. Thankfully, with the help of many professionals, supportive family and friends, and some key reading, I’ve survived past the “average life expectancy” for BPD, which is 27 years of age. I’ve been practicing DBT on and off over the years, at times finding it hard to use and unhelpful in moments of distress. Only this year, after my second hospitalization, did I find the right info to finally understand how it should work and it clicked. I still struggle with the daily triggers, bouts of depression, and the feelings of emptiness, but I do find that I’m able to survive it all because the DBT skills have actually sunk in. I’m also very aware that therapy is a privilege that many can’t access, and sadly even when you can, BPD is a tough thing to diagnose, treat properly, and get the help you need. So now I’m just trying to spread the understanding, help others figure out how DBT can work, and of course, breakdown the stigma associated with BPD.
*More info about my experience with DBT*
I have no one to talk to. Not even my family. Everything hurts. I’m so alone.
A few days ago the urge to unblock him became too overwhelming. For me it was a pressure in my chest that was painful. As soon as I unblocked him it was gone and I wasn’t anymore sad than any other day. And I’m still doing ok. Sometimes you have to figure out what’s best for you. Maybe I’ll get bad again but right now I think I did the right thing. Everyone said it would make things worse but right now I feel a little better.
I’m not super sad or hurt when I see you. But I do miss you and I do want to talk to you. But I can’t. I wonder if you noticed I unblocked you. I wonder if you wondered why I did. I wonder if you think of me.
I hate how I compare everyone to you.
Anyone else uncomfortable when they aren’t experiencing an extreme emotion?
My hedgehog died today, it’s awful and my heart is broken. And the only thing that I feel like could help even a little is hugging you and talking to you. But I can’t.
My therapist made a good point. I haven’t talked to you even in messages, like a conversation, in four years. I can’t keep dragging this out. I keep trying to hold on to you but all it’s doing is hurting me. But how do I let you go when you are still the only thing that feels safe and comfortable? It all hurts
“The times I felt most loved was when someone was worried about me...”
How can I explain to people that I can’t just let you go. You’re the one safe and comfortable thing in my life you are the only thing that can take away any of this hurt. And it hurts. All. The. Time.
I think I’m splitting. Boo
I just really want to shut down right now. But I know that if I do, it will be so hard to dig myself out of that.