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I dream of the lost.

Warning this talks about Residential schools and how I feel about the Canadian government and how I feel about how they have responded to Truth and Reconciliation.

I dream of those how have been lost. Lost for decades, in horrible places long forgotten by those today.

I don’t know why, but they always seem to be in my mind and my heart. It’s hard to admit that I have these dreams because it seems no one cares.

I see the faces of children crying out for help, crying to be found, crying to be remembered.

But I know that they fall on deaf ears. Their pain and their heartache is pushed aside and forgotten.

I feel their pain, it’s like a war is going on inside my head. I want to scream, I want to cry out.

“Why don't you remember us?”

“Why must you place us in the shadows of other tragedies?”

“Is it because of my skin?”

“Is it because of my culture?”

“Tell me, please just tell me?”

My heart feels heavy with woe and I know there is no cure.

Because of those people who have denied us. Who have denied the truth.

Many fail to reconcile with us and in turn, we can not heal from this generational pain, that has been put us in.

It is because of people who continue to deny the truth.

It’s one of the many reasons we cannot heal.

The other is the Government, which claims that they will reconcile.

But have they?

No, they haven’t they leave us and pretend that we do not have any problems but we do.

And no it's not just with Alcohol and drugs but with clean drinking water, and other basic needs that should be met.

But our Treaties and our desperate pleas go unanswered.

Why is this so?

Why are we forgotten?

I want to know but I know they have no answer that would satisfy me.

But the crying of the long-forgotten children keeps coming into my dreams.

I hear them and I see the tears in their eyes.

But I know their pleas with not be answered, for they are gone but to them, They are still alive and they are still suffering.

I know that it may seem crazy but I want them to have peace, for all children deserve to have peace.

It should not matter the colour of their skin that determines whether they are remembered or not.

We should remember all children, especially those who have never made it home.

Humans are terrifying at times, Allura has found. Yet nothing scares her more than seeing one of her paladins, already broken, beaten, and on the verge of collaspe, they themselves into the fray over and over again until they cant move, until they cant stand the pain anymore and pass out.

She never understood it, most would retreat to heal, let someone else take the reigns,

But not humans.

They wilingly will put their teamates lives above their own, will get tortured endlessly if it meant those they were loyal to were safe and sound.

Lance does it the most. He will sprint through the galran ships with multiple wounds, from mele weapons or from guns, but it didnt matter to him. He'd truck through the lain endlessly and tirelessly over and over if it meant getting those few aliens free, if it meant protecting his teamates.

This mission was the worst.

He was running through the halls, breathing labored and uneaven, he was shaking uncontrollably, yet he didnt stop. His body was almost caked it blood, a large gash in his armor from his left side. His legs had multiple cuts that were showing through the armor, a deep peircing red that made allura dizzy.

He finished off the galra in the hall, but he fell to his knees once he was done.

"Lance!" She called out, picking him up and slinging his arm over her shoulder.

"Princess, let me go!" He yelled, trying to wriggle out of her reach.

"No! You need to heal!" She said, but he ignored her.

"There are still cap-" he choked, caughing up the maroon colored blood onto the floor infront of him. "There are s-still captives!" He said weakly.

She didnt listen to him. She allerted the others of his condition, asking them to take over while she brought him back to the ship.

Humans have high tolerence for pain, she figures. How humans can survive such horrid conditions astounds and terrifies her, how they can downplay maiming injuries like they're nothing, they can work through blinding pain just so they can get their goals done, and if you try to stop them they will try and find a way to do so.

This is going to be the last WIP before the finished piece :3 8.5 hours in, some more to go!

Tw: fake blood, wounds.

(CW: talking about non-con and attempted non-con and stuff) I've been thinking a lot and just. I think everyone probably knows but the like DC comics are really bad. Or well the batfam-related ones? I've never read them myself, or any others but ive seen panels and just they suck. its messed up ??? There's Dick being non-conned and then called a sl-t over it (MIRIAM. DISGUISING HERSELF AS KORI or starfire. AND SHE SAID THAT OUT LOUD BUT PPL STILL CALLED HIM A sl-t, just for getting heated in the sheets with his lover when it turns out said lover was actually someone else disguised as her. DUDE. aND THEn THEY GAVE HER A BACKSToRY OF HOW she was like brainwashed to think she was dating dick, and that i think her dick was a huge asshole to her??. ALSO when he was 17 there was a thing where they were trying to get into wayne enterprises and kinda slept with dick- cant remember her name) and its just like. DUDE (also also the creator literally said that its not [r-word] and more non-con or something stupid like that, as if theres a difference?? also it might just be me but the r-word sounds really.. fhfdusih and i just dont like saying it, as if noncon is better but its not really, i just struggled with it for awhile feeling like the r-word just made it a lot more real and vile so i just say noncon instead ;w;) and i probably dont know the bulk of it because im not a comic reader BUT YOU CAN SEE THE ISSUE??? though if i read it in the past itd probably fuck with me cause id take it to heart and end up down a rabbit hole of guilt when its *really* not the victims fault dude i feel so bad for the people who mightve gone through something similar, read the comics and then thought 'god im such a sl-t' when dick HAS said no before and it was completely ignored?? "Don't.. touch me, I'm…" He goes on to say that it was his fault, that Catalina was his responsibility and that it was his fault for letting her kill blockbuster (WHO was literally killing everyone who even just TALKED to dick or lived in the same apartment building as him, which its reasonable that he just. broke.) WHICH. fuck man. and theres also the time where selina (catwoman) kissed him or something and later stated it was to make bruce jealous in which, let me stick with my fanon personalities of characters where they *dont* do that :') and then theres tim nearly being nonconned by like. i think ppl are calling her ra's half-sister or something like that to get like an heir (cass saved him tho :D)

which DUDE ????? and i think jason and talia have fucked too, but it was sometime AFTER jason was resurrected by the pit and he couldn't have really consented then?? i refuse to accept that and who knows what else is there. just. DUDE. please tell me theres a time where its actually addressed healthily and theyre not just accusing the victim sobb

Hurt Prompts

Prompts For A Character Who Has Given Up/ Is In Their Darkest Hour

Potentially Triggering- brief talk of suicide, mild swearing, general hopelessness, implied past trauma, talks of death, PTSD, etc

1- "They call it the darkest hour, but I'm pretty sure it's been years at this point."

2- "Time heals all wounds? Bullshit. It's been years, and look at us- still just as traumatized as a decade ago."

3-"I hate you so, so fucking much."

"Me too."

5-"It'd be better if you were gone."

"I would love that."

6- "I hate- I hate existing."

7- "If I were gone, no one would miss me."

8- "Hurt me. Hurt me all you want. I guarantee you, the only people who would care would only be the ones mocking me."

9- "You think I don't hear how you go behind my back? You think you're my friend? Well, newsflash. I don't have friends."

10- "It hurts. It hurts so, so much. Getting out of bed, everyday, only for them to tell you you aren't enough. Taunt you about how ugly you are. Ridicule your every move. Eventually, you give up. Eventually, you move out of your bed, but your head sinks deeper into the covers."

11- "Describe how I feel in one word? Suicidal."

12- "Feel like stopping. I feel like stopping. Everything."

14- "You… you're leaving? But you're my- my last friend."

15- "The day he/she/they died, was the day I did, too."

(please tag me if you use, I'd love to see what u come up with, other rules pinned)

TRIGGER WARNING: Implied self-harm; implied cutting; cutting scars.

Ichimatsu & ESP Kitty.

honestly, this has nothing to do with what i will usually post, but i wanted to say something. aaron taylor johnson was groomed. he was 18 when they first met, she was 42. twenty fucking four year age gap. now, im well aware that it is technically legal. but, eighteen still has the word “teen” in it. they’re still a teenager. vulnerable, young, and immature. your frontal lobe does not fully develop until 25.

age gap relationships are weird in my opinion, but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong. (most of them) however, in this case, he was 18. he was still incredibly vulnerable as a person and it’s just.. odd for a 42 year old to want to date a fucking 18 year old. is that not weird to you people? answer me this ; what do a 42 year old and 18 year old have in common? correct answer is NOTHING.

to aaron, i know he’ll never see this, but im just going to say it, i genuinely hope he gets out. i hope he seeks help, i hope he gets that help. he needs to get out. it might take a while, but i really hope he’ll get out.

to sam, go fuck yourself. you deserve nothing. you’re weird.

grooming definition by the way for anyone who thinks im exaggerating ;

also, yes, im aware he perused her, but an 18 - 19 year old is going to be immature and irrational. her, a 42 year old woman, should have known that. and she most likely did.

and by the way, im a victim of grooming myself, so i know what it’s like.

Tw: self hate, references to: death, self harm, vomit, depression, EDs, etc.

Last night I cried so hard for about half an hour to the point where I almost threw up. No one was online so I got no solace in other people. I had spent the whole day cleaning and just messing everything up. I didn't get a single bit of drawing in, which is one of the only things that brings me joy at this point.

I was listening to my Spotify playlist, which made me feel more understood, but it didn't really help bring me out of it. I've been clean of self harm for over 4 months now, but that was one of the moments I was seriously close to losing that streak.

I was thinking about everything wrong, from my best friends death to my once good, now awful relationship with my mother, to a thing with an ex where I regret even dating them, not because it was bad, but because I had to choose between him and my current lover and you can probably assume who I chose. Now I'm worried he hates me, which is awful because I still love him, I just see my current lover as end game.

I feel so guilty for that last one, and for the first one. It feels like everything is getting bad again, from me starting down the road to an ED relapse without knowing the trigger, to suicidal thoughts popping up in a genuine manner, not loud enough for me to listen to them, but enough to be heard and thought of. I thought I was getting better, I wanted to get better, it makes me so sick to know that I may never fully recover.

IM NOT SICK ENOUGH

IM NOT BAD ENOUGH

I NEED TO GET WORSE

I NEED TO BE MORE SICK