Madd - Tumblr Posts

i miss my old paracosms and the feelings that came with them

*finally doing the thing i've been wanting to do for ages, but i kept hesitating because i couldn't do it well since i kept getting distracted*

*remembers my paracosm for 2 seconds*

well, damn....!

Why does this stupid dumb idiot keeps in triggering himself and suffering cause he's unable to daydream in public.

I am the idiot, and honestly what the hell am I doing .

Often, a bit too much...

“A lot of people tell me I’m a bit dreamy. But I like the idea of that. Of being somewhere else.”

— Alex Turner,  Arctic Monkeys

So, something that I've noticed is that I've never really seen anyone talk about non-human paras. Like most of my prominent paras are mythical creatures, such as Goblins, Faeries, Pixies, Nymphs, and some of them are like spirits/ghosts/entities. But I've seen that a lot of people pretty much only have human paras, where I have little to no human paras. Could it be something to do with the way people have treated me throughout my life? My dislike/growing fear of people? I'm just not sure, but I feel uncomfortable when ever I meet a human para, like I instantly distrust them and make myself distanced from them.

Sometimes I just realise that the only reason I stay alive is so that I can daydream.

Constantly daydreaming of what could have been, a better time, a better life altogether

Me: *wants to watch YouTube videos*

Me: *can only watch YouTube videos on my laptop so that I can pretend I'm a youtuber doing a reaction video and I can get that dramatic click on the spacebar ever 5 seconds*

Me: *turning to the side* "alright guys, so this dude clearly has nooo idea what he's talking about. So here's what I think 'aight..."

Me @ my paras.

i wish you were with me right now i want a 2 hour long hug

At least I have my paras...

i constantly break my own heart by thinking i mean more to someone than i actually do

The FBI agent in my computer watching me silent scream-cry whilst I pull my hair out, staring at my college work for hours on end every day for the past 6 months before I start talking to myself and frantically pacing then freezing in a daydream attack: 👁️👄👁️

Text reads: "I've been trying so hard to stop myself from having these episodes from this condition for so long now but today it REALLY needs to come out and I'm so scared of everything and everyone at the moment and I just need to dissappear into my head but I can't talk to you about it because you refuse to believe or even listen to me because you don't understand, and you don't want to understand, but you need to know that I physically cannot function right now".

Sorry, I know it's blurry aha

Me: going about my day in my paracosm, noticing a new face slowly start appearing more and more

Me: okay, guess there's a new para moving in, okay I -

*starts having tics*

"oh NO"

Where do I cancel my membership for my MADD, 'cause shit is getting wild??!

I'm so scared of people catching me making facial expressions while I'm in my own little world, I can't help it, yet I don't want to people to judge me.

Sometimes I wonder if one day I'll just stop daydreaming and if everything I imagined will stop being a part of my life...

I feel like my paras have received more love in the past minute than me in my entire life

Does anyone have any advice on how I can tell my mom that I may be dealing with MADD?

Do people around me notice that I may have MADD and just decide to not say anything or do they really not notice? Cause if they do,,,

Let it go~

Let it go~

I don't wanna deal with my own bullshit anymore~

It's kinda sad that I can write a better autobiography for my paras rather than write one about me.