Im Sad And Tired - Tumblr Posts
I might not post for awhile depending on what happens hope I don’t have too. so it’s like hiatus
tell me what does it feel like to have slept and woken up feeling well rested instead of tired?
“The roof is probably leaking”
I just want life to be bearable.. It doesn't have to be good.. but can it atleast stop being bad in all the aspects?
Like what do you want?
This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.
I had been trying to fall asleep for a few hours, but my mind was just running and I was overthinking and getting worked up. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I was being comforted by someone, leaning on their chest sobbing while they ran their fingers through my hair, telling me it would be alright, that I had time to make everything ok. And when I tried to look at their face and ask how, I woke up alone. And now I'm mourning the faceless being who comforted me better than anyone else ever has, and they never existed to begin with.
I'm home. I don't know what's happening to me. I tried to suffocate myself with a pillow next to my mother and she barely managed to snatch that pillow away from me
I tried makeup for the first time and frankly I do not understand how girls seem to do it so easily nice straight and or smooth lines. Or how they do their lashes without getting mascara on their face.
Needles to say it didn't go great but some of the euphoria I got from getting little bits correct was amazing. I feel like shit now so imma go drown my sorrows in booze and suger.
My parents house is cold
It's cold in the way it's fucking freezing cause their either under the bed covers or infront of the tv/fireplace
And in the way, you don't wanna sit in a pair of wet, cold trousers. As a teenager in his room it felt alienating to be in the cold. Now I'm back from uni for crimbo my room is full or their crap, and I feel like I have no place, no seet, no slot to fill. My mum only wanted me back home so she wasn't alone when my dad isn't around, she didn't really want me.
She still gives me those looks of disinterest/annoance and it kills me.
Finally,I'm romantically dead. It's something I wanted. Something I wanted desperately in hopes of not falling in painful love all over again. But as this deadliness grasped me,I feel hollow somewhere inside. Though I can't pinpoint the emptiness, where it relies. The heartbeats,painful and bittersweet,now is nowhere to be felt. I push myself to remember the feeling but now it's so unfamiliar,a jolt of weak electricity,light and silent. Not like those painful yet good butterflies in my stomach,not like those skip of beats which used to electrify me,no tightness in the throat for a rosy touch,nothing. But my chest constricts as I speak,speak of all of these numbness. Is it my fault to slowly lose these beautiful feelings? Feelings that I adored.Nothing awakens me anymore. For a brief moment,sure. But I swallow the feeling as I'm afraid of everything that's betrayal, everything that's lie.
Wow I know
Self Inflicted(TW*)
With a needle in hand and ice in her veins,
She carves her pain onto her skin with no restrain.
Blood drips like tears from her broken heart,
The addiction consumes her, tearing her apart.
Each prick of the needle brings temporary relief,
But the scars on her skin are a cruel thief.
She's trapped in a cycle of self-inflicted pain,
Unable to break free from the addiction's chain.
She longs to escape the torment within,
But the only escape she knows is through sin.
The needle and ice are her only solace,
A twisted form of self-inflicted malice.
She's a prisoner of her own twisted mind,
Trapped in a world where pain is all she finds.
But deep down she knows, she can never be free,
For the addiction has taken her soul, with no key.
Ugh. Quick lil rant, I'm so bored and lonely nowadays :( why is it so hard to make close friendshipsss. Like it's hard to find people who gave interests like meee 😫 does anyone still play games or like anything I just need people to talk to outside of school tbh. Ugh I just feel so stressed out and I wish certained relationships didn't happen or else I wouldn't have be so awkward and closed off🙃🙂 Anyways thanks for listening to my annoying Ted talk sorry for wasting your time.
Ugh. Quick lil rant, I'm so bored and lonely nowadays :( why is it so hard to make close friendshipsss. Like it's hard to find people who gave interests like meee 😫 does anyone still play games or like anything I just need people to talk to outside of school tbh. Ugh I just feel so stressed out and I wish certained relationships didn't happen or else I wouldn't have be so awkward and closed off🙃🙂 Anyways thanks for listening to my annoying Ted talk sorry for wasting your time.
sometimes i feel sad but then i remember i can distract myself
with homework of course what else
*nervously ignores looming burnout*
Well my confession today is kinda weird...
Im so jealous of seeing other people happy with their parents... u know. I was watching a BTS clip and V was talking to his dad so happy telling him he was on his way to Norway asking him if he was jealous .. i laughed & i swooned, i was genuinely happy for him cos in that moment he looked so happy and it spread through to me as well but then my laughter turned bitter very fast.
I want that too... the relationship with my father. To call him out of the blue and tell him that im doing this or im going there... that this happened to me and m excited... i want someone to share great news with whom i know is genuinely happy for me like my dad or my mum.
But then again my life is not a bed of roses... that is not portion... i do have good news but i have no one to celebrate with... and sadly i cry alone whether its good or bad news cos either way its sad 😭😭😭...
Its a sad life tbh🤷♀️🤷♀️🥱 m just hanging in here