I Should Go To Bed - Tumblr Posts

Any other artist have like...a love/hate relationship with coloring? I can do line art just fine, and it's relaxing and fun.

But then I get to the coloring stage and it's like a battle lol. If I'm ambitious with colors it takes forever and never turns out. But doing the same flat coloring won't help me improve but it is the safe method.

And don't get me started on backgrounds. As a character artist backgrounds are not only difficult, but boring to me. So I find it hard to improve backgrounds when I never wanna do them in the first place.

Would love to hear other artists struggles and things they love/hate about drawing.

Comic Update will still be coming out in March. But a little later in March than I planned.

Chapter three: Part One started on page 23, and I'm on page 37 now. Part One should wrap up on page 46. So it should be about a 24 page chapter.

So I still have ten pages to go. Some pages are easier to draw than others.

Crazy how I'm only on chapter three and once that chapter wraps up (both part one and two) it will already be much longer than my 'Change' comic and it will have only just started lol. I'm aware the comic will be a few hundred pages so I hope everyone is cool with a much longer story over a longer span of time.

Also my update schedule for March is dependent on no complications happening during my surgery the 8th (well worst that could happen is I die lol but that's unlikely lmao)

So I'm hoping for an easy recovery because I get bored as hell when I'm not able to draw.

Also judging by how the poll results are looking people wanna see some lineart/sketches and stuff as I go.

I post a lot of that stuff on discord and really should post more of it here too. I just tend to forget.

I just finished The End of Evangelion

I'm now traumatized

Everything does and doesn't make sense

I can see references everywhere

I'm gonna draw some silly Evangelion doodles and ponder the meaning of everything

:D

Okay so you know how like- there's dude and dudette?

I propose a third, gender neutral option: dudrito, pronounced similarly to dorito

Thoughts?

Also look look! I can put animals on the shields, look look! I had so much fun making these little emblems!

So i'm working on a tiny roll & write about being a giant dragonness and conquering the land and burninating the countryside and uh I'm kind of trying to make """"""art""""" for it lmao

chat is this cringe

Vlog #3

I finished deep cleaning my apartment. Let me tell you I'm proud of myself.

But I paid an ADHD fee.

A few days ago, I had to get the copy of the car's road permit and it cost me 31.33€ which for me it's a lot of money.

Well, I found the first one behind one of the drawers... So, I obviously got pissed off. If I had left it with my car's paperwork instead of "I'll leave it here and I will take it in another moment" I wouldn't have had to pay for it... Again.

However, I'm proud of the other part though. My house is neat, again. And on the other hand I think I have previously learned the lesson and take good care of paperwork now. (Yeah, the losing papers and lose money for it has happened before)

I don't know. I just guilt trip myself sometimes. I did a good job though.

I have a roadtrip tomorrow. With arriving time. I'm freaking out already.

Je suis - Bigflo et Oli

Je suis 

I am

Enfermé, à l'étroit dans ma cellule 

Locked up, cramped in my cell

Tous les jours le même café mais c'est le temps qui est soluble 

Everyday the same coffee but only time is soluble

Ces bonnes actions que l'on regrette 

These good actions that we regret

Ces erreurs que l'on refait 

These mistakes that we make again

Au parloir je parle autant à mon fils qu'à mon reflet 

In the visitor’s room I talk as much to my son as to my reflexion 

Je suis 

I am

Gelé, j'enchaîne les verres et les hivers 

Frozen, I string together drinks and winters

Pour se rassurer les passants doivent tous penser que l'on hiberne 

To worry less passers-by must all think we’re hibernating

Bercé par le son des pas et le bruit des pièces dans les poches 

Soothed by footsteps and the sound of coins in pockets

Entre ce type et mon chien, je me demande de qui j'suis le plus proche

Between this guy and my dog I wonder who I’m the closest to

Je suis 

I am

Riche, ils veulent me faire croire que c'est une honte 

Rich, they want me to make me think it’s a shame

Comme si j'étais responsable de toute la misère du monde 

As if I was responsible for all the misery on Earth 

Moi j'dois rien à personne, même si l'argent vient à manquer 

I don’t owe anything to anybody, even if money runs short

Ils veulent tous goûter au fruit de l'arbre que j'ai planté 

They all want to taste the fruit of the tree I planted

Je suis 

I am 

Malade, mais j'préfère dire "futur soigné" 

Sick, but I prefer saying « cured to be »

Mes pupilles fixent l'aiguille de la montre qui brille sur mon poignet 

My pupils stare at the hand of the watch that shines on my wrist

A l'étroit dans mon corps, j'regarde le monde par le trou d'la serrure 

Cramped in my body, I watch the world through the keyhole

Les gens diront que je n'ai fait qu'agrandir celui de la Sécu 

People will say I only made one hole bigger : the Healthcare system one

Je suis 

I am

Croyant, on me reproche souvent de l'être 

A believer, people often blame me for being one

On me reproche ma barbe pourtant j'ai la même que Jean Jaurès 

They blame me for my beard even though I have the same one as Jean Jaurès

On me compare à des barbares auxquels je n'ai jamais cru 

They compare me to barbarians I never believed in

Les mosquées sont trop petites alors parfois je prie dans la rue 

Mosques are too small so sometimes I pray in the street

Je suis 

I am 

Un peu perdu, mes p'tits poumons se remplissent d'air 

A little lost, my little lungs are filling with air

Nouveau venu sur Terre

New born on Earth

Mes premières larmes déclenchent celles de mon père 

My first tears triggered my father’s

Une chance, auprès de ma famille je m'sens à ma place 

Lucky me, in my family I feel like I belong there

Mais je n'oublie pas que j'aurais pu naître dans la chambre d'en face 

But I don’t forget I could have been born in the opposite room

Je suis 

I am 

Seul, au fond d'un couloir, on demande pas mon avis 

Alone, at the end of the hallway, they don’t ask what I think

J'ai pris de l'âge donc voilà j'ai bien plus de rides que d'amis 

I aged so now I have far more wrinkles than friends

J'aimerais partager mes erreurs, vous faire part de mes doutes 

I’d like to share my mistakes, confide my doubts to you

Parfois j'me parle à moi-même pour être sûr que quelqu'un m'écoute 

Sometimes I talk to myself to be sure someone’s listening

Je suis 

I am 

Épuisé, mais plus pour longtemps j'en suis sûr 

Exhausted, but not for long I’m sure

Les sonneries de téléphone, la pression ont élargi mes blessures 

Phone rings, pressure have widened my wounds

J'me souviens pas d'la date de mon dernier fou rire 

I can’t remember the date of my last laugh

Je suis un homme bientôt je serai un souvenir 

I am a man and soon I’ll be a memory

Je suis 

I am 

Enfin là, cette terre n'est plus un mirage 

Finally there, this land isn’t a mirage anymore

Je suis, arrivé par bateau mais surtout par miracle 

I am, here by boat but above all by miracle

Une nouvelle vie m'attend ici, bien plus calme et plus stable 

A new life is waiting for me here, far more peaceful and stable

Ce matin j'ai écrit "tout va bien" au dos de la carte postale 

This morning I wrote « everything’s fine » on the back of a postal card

Je suis 

I am 

Fier, mais comment vous décrire tout ce que j'ressens 

Proud, but how can I describe to you all the things that I feel 

Quand je marche en ville, de moins en moins de gens me ressemblent 

When I walk in the street, fewer and fewer people looks like me

Dans l'ascenseur, je parle même plus la langue de ma voisine 

In the elevator, I don’t even speak the same language as my neighbour anymore

A force de planter des arbres, y'aura plus d'places pour nos racines 

By dint of planting trees there won’t be enough room for our roots anymore

Je suis 

I am 

Fatigué, mal au dos et mal aux reins 

Tired, my back and my kidneys are hurting

Les rides sur mon visage me rappellent les montagnes de là où j'viens 

The wrinkles on my face remind me of the mountains I am from

On m'a menti, et c'est trop tard que je l'ai compris 

They lied to me, and I understood it too late

On dit qu'ce pays n'est pas le mien alors qu'c'est moi qui l'ai construit 

They say this country is not mine when I am the one that built it

Je suis 

I am

Assis, et le destin a fait que j'me relèverai jamais 

Sat down, and fate did so I will never get up again

Dans cet océan j'ai l'impression d'avoir toujours ramé 

In this ocean I have the feeling I’ve always been rowing

Un casse-tête pour monter dans le bus 

Everytime a puzzle to get in the bus

Aller au taff, passer leurs portes 

To go to work, to come past their doors

Souvent les gens me regardent et me répondent que c'est pas de leur faute   

People look at me often and say it’s not their fault

Je suis 

I am

Heureux, jeune diplômé 

Happy, newly graduated

Esprit bétonné, j'ai étonné 

Concrete mind, I surprised

Ceux qui rêvaient de me voir abandonner 

Those who wished to see me give up

Ma famille est loin d'ici, j'espère que là-bas ils sont fiers 

My family is far from here, I hope they’re proud of me there

Je viens de gagner le combat qu'avait commencé ma mère 

I just won the fight my mother had started

Je suis 

I am 

Confiante, j'regarde ma classe un peu trop pleine pour moi 

Confident, I look at my class a little too full for me

Et j'leur tiendrais la main jusqu'à ce que la réussite leur ouvre les bras 

And I’ll take their hands until success will welcome them in its arms

J'ai compris que parfois, les adultes sont paumés 

I understood that sometimes, adults are lost

Parce que les plus grandes leçons c'est eux qui me les ont données 

Because the biggest lessons I have received are from them 

Je suis 

I am 

Énervé, dans mon quartier on s'ennuie loin de la ville 

Angry, in my neighbourhood we get tired far from the city

On écrit, on prie, on crie et j'ai des amis qui dealent 

We write, we pray, we scream and I have drug dealer friends

Mon grand frère est au chômage, mon pote se fait 5000 par mois 

My big brother is unemployed, my buddy makes 5000 bucks a month

Au collège c'est le bordel, bientôt j'devrai faire un choix 

In highschool it was a mess, soon I will have to make a choice

Je suis 

I am 

Loin, ce qu'il se passe chez moi n'intéresse pas grand monde 

Away, what happens here doesn’t concern a lot of people

Pour les autres on vit un rêve mais pourtant souvent on tourne en rond 

For others we live a dream though we usually go round in circles

Tout est cher, avec le continent y'a comme une latence 

Everything is expensive, with the mainland there’s like latency

La plage, les palmiers, mais moi j'suis pas en vacances 

The beach, the palm trees, but I’m not on holidays

Je suis 

I am

Discrète, mon père m'a dit de ne pas faire de vague 

Reserved, my father told me not to make waves

Ma religion, un phare guidant mes pas depuis qu'j'ai mis les voiles 

My religion, a beacon guiding my steps since I sailed away

C'est drôle qu'il me surveille mais qu'il fasse tout pour 

It’s funny how they keep an eye on me, but they do everything to

Me donner une leçon en m'empêchant d'aller en cours 

Teach me a lesson by keeping me from going to school

Je suis 

I am

Inquiet, envers ma foi beaucoup de regards hautains 

Worried, towards my faith a lot of haughty looks

J'reçois des leçons par des types qui ne font rien pour leur prochain 

I get told what to do by guys that do nothing for their fellow man

L'humanité n'a pas plus d'coeur, j'vois le monde qui tourne et qui change 

Humanity doesn’t have a heart anymore, I see the world spinning and changing 

Et je suis triste de voir qu'il y a de moins en moins de gens le dimanche 

And I’m sad to see there’s fewer and fewer people sunday

Je suis 

I am 

Amoureux, et je vois pas qui ça regarde 

In love, and I don’t understand how it matters to anyone

A part moi et celui avec qui j'partage mon lit le soir 

Except me and the one I share my bed with

Je l'aime, on slalome entre les insultes et les blagues 

I love him, we weaved in and out of insults and jokes

Dire qu'il y a peu de temps je n'avais pas le droit de lui offrir une bague 

To think that not that much time ago I didn’t have the right to offer him a ring

Je suis 

I am

Oublié, mes fins de mois se font sur le fil 

Forgotten, I make my ends meet on the edge

C'est devenu rare d'aller au restau ou d'aller voir un film 

It’s gotten rare to go to a restaurant or see a movie

Je suis qu'un chiffre, qu'un vote, qu'une statistique, un point de plus dans la foule 

I’m only a number, a vote, a stat, a spot added to the crowd

Moi j'suis juste né ici et j'ai l'impression que tout le monde s'en fout 

I’ve only been born here but I feel like nobody cares

Je suis 

I am

Un rendez-vous, un hasard, un match de foot, un mariage 

A meeting, a piece of luck, a football game, a wedding

Une manif', un anniv', une accolade, une bagarre 

A march, a birthday, an embrace, a fight

Une scène de crime, un jugement, un gosse qui rit, une erreur 

A crime scene, a judgement, a laughing kid, a mistake

Une montagne enneigée, je suis la pointe de la plume d'un auteur 

A snow-capped mountain, I am the tip of a writer’s pen

Je suis les pleurs d'un départ, je suis la chaleur des bars 

I am the shed tears of a leaving, I am the warmth of bars

Je suis une saveur cinq étoiles ou bien le gras d'un kebab 

I am a five stars savour or a kebab fat

Les flemmards, les couche-tard, les lève-tôt 

The lazy ones, the awake-late-at-night, the woken-up-early

Les râleurs, les regards dans l'métro 

The grumbling ones, the looks in the subway

Un oncle raciste, un concert vide, la crise, la déprime qui ressert l'étau 

A racist uncle, an empty concert, the crisis, the depression that tightens the noose

Je suis l'excellence, l'élégance ou l’espérance d'une naissance 

I am the excellence, the elegance or the expectation of a birth

Ces campagnes dans l'silence, ces grandes villes immenses et denses 

These silent countries, these huge & thick cities

Je suis, un peu de moi et beaucoup des autres quand j'y pense 

I am, a little of me and a lot of others when I think about it

Je suis, la France 

I am, France

Ooooook so first of all it’s almost 6 am when i write this and if I’m awake, it’s because I haven’t slept yet. I just wanted to share this there-is-not-enough-words-to-describe-how-great-this-song-is song. It is a song, it is modern poetry, and it tells France, my beloved country, in all the ways that make it this unique, that make it the way I love it. As a millennial, I often forgot the beauty of my country, or the world in general, because I’m surrounded by constant negativity and pessimism. This song gives me hope, and makes me see the beauty of the world, of humanity and of life again. What I love about this song is not only the beauty of the text or its accurateness, but the fact that it tells France as it is: there are tragedies, racism, hypocrisy, and there’s also love, hope, pride, and everything in between. The world is not black or white, it’s in shades of grey (oh god how have I managed to make a BDSM reference HERE seriously??) and it’s what makes it beautiful.

Because I wanted to share it to the biggest number of people possible, I tried (and I insist on tried) to translate it into English, but again, it’s almost 6 am here and I still haven’t slept, so it’s a very rough translation that could be MUCH better but I don’t have the energy right now. There are very probably parts that don’t make sense grammatically, and if you’re not French or French-lover, there are very probably references or situations told in this song that you won’t understand. If you really want to understand everything you can ask me anytime. But I don’t think you have to understand every story to understand the meaning of the song &/or to appreciate it. You can find it on Spotify very easily, and even if you don’t speak or understand French, I think you can still appreciate the lyrics and their music. The text in French is a masterpiece which beauty the English version can’t reach, but anyway. 

I should stop writing and GO TO BED NOW.

I swear my ass forgets that the rest of the internet isn't built the same as this godforsaken site. I have to actually be somewhat civil and presentable, it's exhausting just wanna yell

Sometimes like at 1:00am I have the urge to draw things. Here is as manly my men get when I end up wanting to draw guys.

Edit: I just realized I forgot his eyebrows

I feel a little dumb right now. So I have the concept of a high fantasy AU for Stranger Things in my head and essentially it’s the way the show already is but like in an actual fantasy setting I just think it would be really funny, but that’s not the point. I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out which class Eddie would be and at first my brain went to paladin and then wizard. I’ve been sitting here for like 20 minutes and it just hit me, Eddie is a fucking BARD.

The way I’m doing it in my head is I’m basing it off of what the characters do in the actual show and due to the fact that Eddie is the DM for the club he has to spin stories for the campaigns and then there’s the fact that he plays guitar and is in a band. He’s a bard and I don’t know why I thought anything else first. And I fully realize this idea of a Stranger Things high fantasy AU isn’t anything too ground breaking considering it would just be them living out their campaign irl no I’m not talking about LARPing. I just think the idea is interesting.

Mighty but he's just an analog to Allmer and Max is legit the Sulfur God while Zero remains flawed like Mighty because casting off selfish humanoid desire didn't actually make Mighty or Zero righteous, but Max was still born in the sulfur pits because something was thrown in there and life was unfortunately created on accident.

Poetry? Dunno... Its writing!!

Has to do with nothing read, don't read I don't care I do this when bored

From

In your presence I've always felt free

To which you don't know

But in your presence my soul's free

But if I could won't ever flee

Why must i flee when you make me feel human

To

My world has never felt so dull

You've left and it's been so dark

My mind is disgusting and bleak

Oh to have you here with me

My mind is inhuman and unsafe

But I guess my safety never occurred to you

When people say love is the best thing to encounter

I wasn't expecting the pain and suffering to come with

With all that pain and suffering is my inhuman mind thinking

"I have a right to be human"

Yes I do this when I'm bored and this is how I actually feel

What they're talking about? That's up to your own impersonation? Understanding?

(This is not directed to anyone on Tumblr! ☺)

I will steal your socks and souls.

>> When you think about it actually now days... all marvel comics that are coming out are nothing more than paied fanfiction and every character created for marvel are only ocs... Just like the MCU. It's just a fanfiction and all characters that were created for the MCU like Harley, Morgan and Kahhori are also ocs...

This post is so unnecessary... but I just couldn't stop thinking about this... <<

I read it as bdsm, then i thought i read it wrong and op was talking about bsd, so i read it again. It did actually say bdsm. And than i thought about the last pai x sky fic i read. Op is right; i do want what they have. Please and thank you.

god i want what they (blorbos in my bdsm fanfic) have

I can't stop thinking about a sea witch, and instead of having a crow as her familiar she insted has a seagull. And she is like an evil witch but she looks like super nice and like calm, and her seagull just looks super silly...

Should I maybe draw her?

Y'know, now that I think about it, I should really stop buying new books every single time I enter a bookshop. There are so many books that I have that I haven't read just because I forget or because I already started reading another one.

I also have to stop because books aren't cheap enough to be wasting money on them when I already have others that are as new, and that might be really good too.

I swear, I have at least 10 books waiting to be read.

Anyway, I'm getting sleepy, and when I get sleepy I get stupid and dumb and slow, and nothing I say makes sense, so I better get to bed.

Good night

Listening to the Hazbn Hotel songs at 2 a.m., when you're supposed to be asleep, is a whole new experience, and I think everyone should do it.

I wanna scream, but like, everyone in the house is sleeping.

It's great.

Some sketches + me trying to get used to drawing cedric

Ghoul Oc Thingy

Her name is Odd, she is my exact height (that being the depressing height of 5'0), we got a bi gender, pan critter in the house🔥🔥🔥🔥, she's a multi-ghoul (she's on vocals, bass, and percussion).

My spelling says for those who can't read it 1st page: Dude I'm in love with the facial hair rep..., Vocalist, bassest, percussionist, Multi-ghoul, Era IV

2nd page: Alt hair, What did bro see? Woah facial hair..., her., woah

The little drawing on the bottom left corner under the cut

INCOMING RANT!!!

Idk how to start talking about stuff like this but with every Oc I've made in the past that's meant to resemble me (in any shape or form) I've never felt a connection to them.

That was what I was feeling when I started to make Odd, and I decided to think about what I see when I look at myself. That being the fact I have facial hair. I never really paid much attention to it, but I thought to give it a shot and I gave it to her and the moment I did I felt a connection I never had with any of my characters.

I really love her now she's actually me.