Hot Gay Men - Tumblr Posts
Chris wasn’t really disappointed. Pink was never really totally gay to begin with. Pank. Well, that’s a different story. Hayyyyy!!!!
Ok. It was official. The party was a bust. Chris was on his way back down 2 Brad still on the back patio 2 break the news:
1) No free drinks on the house, 2) the roof wasn't on fire, 3) nor was it made of tin OR rusted.
NONE of the claims true. WTF?! Who lies about THAT stuff? Whatever...
Just as Chris cleared the roof, disaster struck again. Chris’ package popped out of the $68 Andrew Christian Slim Swimmer Super Support Thong underneath his speedo. His bulge flooded outta control.
Oh great… U know, the LAST thing Chris needed was to give himself a black eye.
You know what. Chris was right. Things didn’t need a gym to WERK out. People did.
...Or should one say people ‘do?’ Did do. Do did. Do do.
That’s when Brad lol’d to himself so hard he snotted. (Yes. Pretty people do that too.)
Chris felt fat. Maybe he was on organic overload. Until he was sure, eggs were officially back in the ‘bad’ court along with all the other flip flop foods.
Chris then wondered if eggs were included in the ban on thongs at the beach. Eggs were not explicitly mentioned on the sign. Then again, in this time and age ANYTHING could b explicit. U can’t even sneeze!
..Wait! Was THAT Y Chris felt fat?!? Looking back, Chris hadn’t sneezed once during the whole pandemic. He wasn’t like Brad who snotted every time he laughed really hard.
Ok. He’d def text Brad to c if FTD delivered. First, he needed 2 ask Siri if there were still enough bees 2 make flowers.
That. That right there Brad. What do u call it? An under the armpit thingy? It’s gotta have a name.
Brad was one of those flappy things from the Atlanta Olympics that you see now at a car dealership or a bank, but as a raver club kid at a pool party at the Millennium.
Like anyone, it was difficult for Brad to imagine anything more than a decade old as not happening @ the same time.
This whole shower business in wet white cotton while Chris snapped photos just didn’t make sense. Just last week, Brad randomly found himself wearing white briefs to the beach. Just a few days ago, Chris was looking like a nun in white briefs. Now THIS. Neither of them particularly liked the old school style either… and Y again in the shower?!
That’s when Brad realized the conversation was in his head.
Hmmmm.
Chris seemed busy with the camera, but Brad interrupted the shoot anyway citing he had Margaret Cho’s much anticipated laundry detergent recommendation. It was the absolute sure fire needed to pull him out of the chaos.
"Oh," said Chris. "Well, what is it?"
Brad explained Margaret lit it up once again. She made her own laundry detergent from scratch. The woman was AMAZING and even gave Brad a list of ingredients.
Still, neither Brad nor Chris would begin wearing shirts. In the end, Chris boiled down the ensuing twenty two minute conversation to one hard point. It just wasn’t natural.
Brad agreed wholeheartedly clarifying Margaret’s recipe was natural but wearing shirts or pretty much any clothing was not for two hot gay boys barely 22 years of age working as fashion models and gogo dancers in Southern California.
Well, back to the photo shoot then.
I first feel the need to say that’s my BF Brad. Don’t worry too much. He’s been through worse.
Brad walked in a church once when he was 15 only because there was literally a tornado across the street & it was the closest building around. It was destroyed but luckily Brad managed to lodge himself between the pews so the giant cross with a man nailed to it didn’t crush him but rather provided a twisted sort of shelter from the rest of the debris. For three hours Brad was trapped with this chiseled nearly naked dude with thorns in his head obviously in horrific pain hovering right over him.
Brad still has nightmares. I cringe just from recounting the story. I have never seen a twister myself but I do know Helen Hunt vanished essentially overnight like plastic straws and Dorothy didn’t deserve being discounted by her uncles when she just wanted to share her dream.
She was knocked unconscious by flying debris. Poor kid. Can you imagine? I can’t support the film for that reason and of course the unforgivable special effects. Terrible. Just terrible. I mean they were criticized by the people of the day. Take a moment to read the original reviews. It’s very telling.
Did you know stealing pets is still not even a law in most places? Why are we stealing pets anyway? There’s the beginning of your problem. I can tell you that much.
Here’s what else I can say from 22 years of experience. 19-throw-it-away, stop recycling Pandora’s box, and create something to last a lifetime. No one does their research, we spin instead of provide context and no one will admit to themselves they already think. We need more than fabricated reason, a Google education, and a river cruise through Egypt to get through life you know. I tried them all and look at where we are. Where is that anyway? Never mind. It will come to me.
Now, before you say anything and to answer your question… Yes. It feels nice to get out. Lot’s going on but nothing going on. Do you know what I mean? BTW’s, please let me know if I’m putting words in your mouth. I’ve been talking to one person now for more than a year and you are my first contact since the onset of the pandemic. I should probably ask for your names huh?
(A short pause)
Ok. Let’s give this another whirl. Yeah?
Aloha. I’m Chris. We may get to my other half later. Do u frequent the Venetian pool often?
Ohhhh. Wait. Hold up. I remembered where we were but still f-d it up. It’s been a minute so forgive me. I forgot to ask your names. What are they? Then, I desperately need to know where you got your matching Brittany Spears halters. They absolutely rule.
Drugs Rock n Roll Bad ass Vega Whores Late Night Booty Calls Shiny Disco Balls
Whatever. Brad was there for the Raiders game and some hot wings. It was basketball season right? Well, regardless Brad’s basket was always seasoned. That’s a make or break at any bake-off and Brad was baked to the max. He was 99.99% sure he’d win whatever it was that was happening. Chris could cover the .01%. He only ate a quarter of the brownie which just seems silly when you can just eat the whole pan.
Chris’ outfit was a hot mesh.
Brad shaved his chinny chin chin so Chris could play the Big Bad Wolf. GRRR!
Of course Chris had attitude. He was a professional male model just like his boyfriend Brad. If there was a problem here officer, it wasn’t his. What was up with this pullover business anyway? Chris didn’t even have on a shirt.
JIMMYYYY (minee!!)
