Giving To Rebent Writing - Tumblr Posts
Ah. Thems is beautiful words.
its so brave that you have such a 2012-coded url in this 2024 world
would you call a bear brave for standing in a new construction suburb or would you recognize the unfamiliar world they built around him
My sibling yoinked a birds and the bees book from our family friends at quite the young age.
Our parents helped us through it. I was learning about what sperm was when I was maybe 3-4.
My dad is a scientist and many of these concepts are cool learning experiences.
Knowledge of sex is helpful context for people. People have these parts. When things happen in certain ways, more people get made. Also Al Capone had Syphilis.
Sex has never been taboo for me. And I made many decisions with the context I was given, and to that end I'm quite comfortably chaste.
Also everything fucks. As mentioned above.
Trees fuck weird. Pollen is craaaaaaazy.
Cell division? Shiiiiiiiiiiet.
Viruses masturbate? IDK I haven't studied up in a while.
saw someone say "an 11-year-old isn't even supposed to know what sex is and if you do something horrible must be happening to you and you need to get out of there" like can we be for real for a moment. have some people honest to god never heard 11-year-olds making sex jokes in their life
I have very rarely captured youtube comments. These made me laugh. YOUTUBE COMMENTS MADE ME LAUGH. 4 OUT OF FIVE GOT A CHUCKLE. RARE INTERNET FEELING. YouTube comments are truly where I've read the most incredible things. Mainly things that melt my mind, and smooth my wrinkles. But once every blue moon. ONCE PER RECESSION I'LL LAUGH AT A YOUTUBE COMMENT. WOW. KUDOS NORTHERLION. NICE FLOCK. YOU ARE SUCH A SHEPHERD. and I'm a little sheep on the periphery. I'm wild. But I respect your game.
I have very rarely captured youtube comments. These made me laugh. YOUTUBE COMMENTS MADE ME LAUGH. 4 OUT OF FIVE GOT A CHUCKLE. RARE INTERNET FEELING. YouTube comments are truly where I've read the most incredible things. Mainly things that melt my mind, and smooth my wrinkles. But once every blue moon. ONCE PER RECESSION I'LL LAUGH AT A YOUTUBE COMMENT. WOW. KUDOS NORTHERLION. NICE FLOCK. YOU ARE SUCH A SHEPHERD. and I'm a little sheep on the periphery. I'm wild. But I respect your game.
There are so many ways worlds can differ. And it's hard to know what to ask. When someone's world is just their world it's not so strange. I love knowing we're all weird, there's no perfect default. And if there was, that'd be incredibly strange.
I've seen near stop motion. Almost entered the world of claymation. It involved not knowing a dose. Of different substances. Too much wine one night, gave me a different world. And some fear.
« Animals might see crisp detail at a distance, or nothing more than blurry blotches of light and shade. They might see perfectly well in what we’d call darkness, or go instantly blind in what we’d call brightness. They might see in what we’d deem slow motion or time-lapse. They might see in two directions at once, or in every direction at once. Their vision might get more or less sensitive over the span of a single day. Their Umwelt might change as they get older. Jakob’s colleague Nate Morehouse has shown that jumping spiders are born with their lifetime’s supply of light-detecting cells, which get bigger and more sensitive with age. “Things would get brighter and brighter,” Morehouse tells me. For a jumping spider, getting older “is like watching the sun rising." »
— Ed Yong, An Immense World
Another Poor Financial Decision
I've made another purchase.
It'll solve many problems.
Not the ones that most would call problems.
And thus it is an unwise choice.
But the problems it solves
are problems I want solved.
So I bought a portable 32bit float recorder with 4 inputs and a condenser mic setup.
To record little instruments while in the park.
To capture the noises of the world in more beautiful wretched detail than what my phone can provide.
To have the sound of my voice be crisp in the worrying footage I shoot.
And it was on sale.
So I bought it.
Another Poor Financial Decision
I've made another purchase.
It'll solve many problems.
Not the ones that most would call problems.
And thus it is an unwise choice.
But the problems it solves
are problems I want solved.
So I bought a portable 32bit float recorder with 4 inputs and a condenser mic setup.
To record little instruments while in the park.
To capture the noises of the world in more beautiful wretched detail than what my phone can provide.
To have the sound of my voice be crisp in the worrying footage I shoot.
And it was on sale.
So I bought it.
I've got some of the easier parents for this kind of thing. And it's still tough. They know I'm open to romance and having children, but they also allowed me to be a picky little bastard. And once you develop a particular taste for things, and rarely find fulfilling engagement outside of yourself and the *very select* slice of humanity you consider friends, it gets tough. Because those friends are also picky as hell, and don't flirt around, because they're picky as hell. And so yeah I'm addicted to the internet because that's where the weird picky people go. And then they post weird shit I wouldn't be able to see walking around (I like walking around.)
Uh.
Shit.
I'm open to finding someone who's company is preferable to my own, but it's quite hard to tell the almost everyone that I'd prefer to be sat in a room with a mirror, a good book, some paper to draw on, some music to dance to, some of the selected voices I like to hear.
When you crunch the numbers for yourself it can make quite a lot of sense to do what is enjoyable and not what makes you miserable.
In case that helps.
Ben
Venting here- I love visiting family but all the "Do you have a boyfriend yet? Do you have a girlfriend yet? Are you seeing anyone? Have you met anyone? What's your romantic life like? Who have you been with? Anyone you like?" stuff gets exhausting, doesn't it?
Like
How do you tell people who are worried about you being lonely that "I don't want sex, I don't need romance, and I haven't met anyone whose company I find preferable to my own" without worrying them *more*?
I've got some of the easier parents for this kind of thing. And it's still tough. They know I'm open to romance and having children, but they also allowed me to be a picky little bastard. And once you develop a particular taste for things, and rarely find fulfilling engagement outside of yourself and the *very select* slice of humanity you consider friends, it gets tough. Because those friends are also picky as hell, and don't flirt around, because they're picky as hell. And so yeah I'm addicted to the internet because that's where the weird picky people go. And then they post weird shit I wouldn't be able to see walking around (I like walking around.)
Uh.
Shit.
I'm open to finding someone who's company is preferable to my own, but it's quite hard to tell the almost everyone that I'd prefer to be sat in a room with a mirror, a good book, some paper to draw on, some music to dance to, some of the selected voices I like to hear.
When you crunch the numbers for yourself it can make quite a lot of sense to do what is enjoyable and not what makes you miserable.
In case that helps.
Ben
Venting here- I love visiting family but all the "Do you have a boyfriend yet? Do you have a girlfriend yet? Are you seeing anyone? Have you met anyone? What's your romantic life like? Who have you been with? Anyone you like?" stuff gets exhausting, doesn't it?
Like
How do you tell people who are worried about you being lonely that "I don't want sex, I don't need romance, and I haven't met anyone whose company I find preferable to my own" without worrying them *more*?
I once described voting in an argument as "taking a shit." I just do it. I generally don't brag about it. Don't always like the smell. Sometimes the stall is stinky. But I do need to shit. Sometimes I feel half decent about it too. I FREQUENTLY TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY SHIT, AND THE PROBLEMS I HAVE WITH MY SHIT. AND THE THINGS THAT MY SHIT SHOULD BE DOING. AND SOME WAYS TO HAVE A MORE MANAGEABLE SHIT IN THE FUTURE. But taking a shit isn't a deep moral statement, it's taking a shit. I think taking a shit is healthy, so I do it.
all of the USamerican people going "bbut if i vote in the election, im culpable for the unjustifiable evils of the american imperial machine!" just love to paint people who realize that you still need to vote as like, too naïve to understand their oh-so-principled moral stand, when the reality is that if you live in america and you're of voting age and you're realizing for the first time just now that you live in an evil country that runs on the blood of millions and always has, and if you somehow think that you can live here and work here and earn & spend money here and somehow none of that makes you culpable for the horrors that are done on your behalf, but voting does, or would, then you are so stunningly naïve that you need to shut the whole fuck up.
like. yes, the united states is a machine that turns colonial vampirism and for-profit genocides into capital, thanks for noticing, and welcome to the conversation. the rest of us have already figured out that 1. this centuries-old machine that kills people is not gonna just go away, or collapse spectacularly all at once, it is gonna need to be dismantled, and 2. it is not gonna be dismantled by november, and 3. i don't fucking know who told you that if enough people don't vote, nobody becomes president, but that isn't fucking true.
somebody is gonna be the president, and the president is gonna keep doing war crimes like the president always has because that's the president's job, and it will remain that way until we break the whole machine down. now who would you rather be in charge of it while we're trying to break it down: a senile old man who thinks he still needs to behave in ways that are decorous and won't cause bad press, or an angry old man who thinks cops should be able to shoot protesters with live ammo?
you are being offered the chance to pick your opponent in the biggest hardest fight of all time, and you're bitching that you don't wanna because it would make you feel icky to act in a way that is strategic instead of emotional & performative. if you actually cared about the vulnerable people you claim you're doing this for, you'd be willing to suffer a moral injury to keep the evil destructive monster you live inside of from going extra-berserk mode, but no, you want to posture about how you can't taint yourself by "participating" in a process that you are already part of every single day. let us know when you're ready to join us at the grown-ups' table, shitheads. do not @ me idfc
Assuming Non-Malice and Deciphering Intent
A real quick sprint of a mini-rant before I shuttle myself off for social activities.
As an edgy little rat human, a creature who's diet is ironically inclined, a thing who revels in a joke never making sense and laughing at that [because so much of life and science is not making sense]: I care a lot about intent.
When many of the jokes you say are as a character, said flatly in your voice. Making a statement no sane or well adjusted human should ever say, the people who have context for me know to recognize it as a bit. The joke doesn't need to be funny, many jokes are not. But at worst it's recognized as an earnest flub.
On occasion the place my joke is coming from isn't as shored up as I thought it is. Often this happens around someone I can let those out around. The drafts often need editing. Those people I hold very dear. They assume I hold no real malice, or that I might be horrified at what my words may have implied. It's a balancing act.
On the other side of things, assuming non-malice does wonders for me. I get to give people loads of rope with which to hang themselves if they are wrong ("I'm not quite sure I see the humor in the joke. Would you care to explain it to me?" is often enough to decipher between someone who made a blunder and someone trying to disguise their bile as humor.)
Malice exists. But to better combat it I think it valuable to properly weed out the actually non-malicious. And as a bonus I find assuming non-malice and seeking clarity often gives the real freaks the chance to out themselves, while allowing most others a chance at redemption.
You can assume malice. It makes sense with enemies, but it does put strains on people who you would otherwise like.
Shit is complicated. Clarifying questions are in short supply these days.
Stay safe. Stay lovely.
Ben
Assuming Non-Malice and Deciphering Intent
A real quick sprint of a mini-rant before I shuttle myself off for social activities.
As an edgy little rat human, a creature who's diet is ironically inclined, a thing who revels in a joke never making sense and laughing at that [because so much of life and science is not making sense]: I care a lot about intent.
When many of the jokes you say are as a character, said flatly in your voice. Making a statement no sane or well adjusted human should ever say, the people who have context for me know to recognize it as a bit. The joke doesn't need to be funny, many jokes are not. But at worst it's recognized as an earnest flub.
On occasion the place my joke is coming from isn't as shored up as I thought it is. Often this happens around someone I can let those out around. The drafts often need editing. Those people I hold very dear. They assume I hold no real malice, or that I might be horrified at what my words may have implied. It's a balancing act.
On the other side of things, assuming non-malice does wonders for me. I get to give people loads of rope with which to hang themselves if they are wrong ("I'm not quite sure I see the humor in the joke. Would you care to explain it to me?" is often enough to decipher between someone who made a blunder and someone trying to disguise their bile as humor.)
Malice exists. But to better combat it I think it valuable to properly weed out the actually non-malicious. And as a bonus I find assuming non-malice and seeking clarity often gives the real freaks the chance to out themselves, while allowing most others a chance at redemption.
You can assume malice. It makes sense with enemies, but it does put strains on people who you would otherwise like.
Shit is complicated. Clarifying questions are in short supply these days.
Stay safe. Stay lovely.
Ben
Still waiting. The mind-worms have struck. I'm going through Jewish Holocaust jokes. I wouldn't recommend the reddit thread all that much, most of the jokes aren't great, just generally inoffensive.
Most of these come across as folk jokes, the kind that gets passed around. And they get me in that sad way. Gallows humor does something for me I guess.
I've heard most of them before somehow. But this humor does strike a chord with me.
Nothing is off limits for humor, but that's all the more reason to love the craft.
I'll leave you on this.
Tucker Carlson is horrifically addicted to Zyn. [I do not like him - he's smart enough to have been a better person. He's crafted his path of ruin.]
That's not a joke.
Bye.
Assuming Non-Malice and Deciphering Intent
A real quick sprint of a mini-rant before I shuttle myself off for social activities.
As an edgy little rat human, a creature who's diet is ironically inclined, a thing who revels in a joke never making sense and laughing at that [because so much of life and science is not making sense]: I care a lot about intent.
When many of the jokes you say are as a character, said flatly in your voice. Making a statement no sane or well adjusted human should ever say, the people who have context for me know to recognize it as a bit. The joke doesn't need to be funny, many jokes are not. But at worst it's recognized as an earnest flub.
On occasion the place my joke is coming from isn't as shored up as I thought it is. Often this happens around someone I can let those out around. The drafts often need editing. Those people I hold very dear. They assume I hold no real malice, or that I might be horrified at what my words may have implied. It's a balancing act.
On the other side of things, assuming non-malice does wonders for me. I get to give people loads of rope with which to hang themselves if they are wrong ("I'm not quite sure I see the humor in the joke. Would you care to explain it to me?" is often enough to decipher between someone who made a blunder and someone trying to disguise their bile as humor.)
Malice exists. But to better combat it I think it valuable to properly weed out the actually non-malicious. And as a bonus I find assuming non-malice and seeking clarity often gives the real freaks the chance to out themselves, while allowing most others a chance at redemption.
You can assume malice. It makes sense with enemies, but it does put strains on people who you would otherwise like.
Shit is complicated. Clarifying questions are in short supply these days.
Stay safe. Stay lovely.
Ben
Hum de dum. Don't really know what to call this.
Good luck!
Ben :)
Hum de dum. Don't really know what to call this.
Good luck!
Ben :)
My go to responses for "how are you?"
"I'm functioning"
"Alive"
"Slowly dying"
"Breathing"
"I'm here." (Mainly used when arriving to work)
"huh."
"Let me run the numbers."
"Can I get back to you on that?"
"I'm the weather is nice."
"I'm no longer crying. The crying was fun though."
"I want to run. In a field. I want to breath the dreams in a world that feels all to big for me. I want to feel tiny looking into the vastness out there. I'm tired of the city. LET ME RUN."
"Doin alright."
"Unfortunately without my knives."
"I'm a tad parched."
"Desperate for some quality lollygagging."
"Gweeeeeeeeeeeeep. Scoooooooooorbonoxious. Crombolonious."
"I don't know."
My go to responses for "how are you?"
"I'm functioning"
"Alive"
"Slowly dying"
"Breathing"
"I'm here." (Mainly used when arriving to work)
"huh."
"Let me run the numbers."
"Can I get back to you on that?"
"I'm the weather is nice."
"I'm no longer crying. The crying was fun though."
"I want to run. In a field. I want to breath the dreams in a world that feels all to big for me. I want to feel tiny looking into the vastness out there. I'm tired of the city. LET ME RUN."
"Doin alright."
"Unfortunately without my knives."
"I'm a tad parched."
"Desperate for some quality lollygagging."
"Gweeeeeeeeeeeeep. Scoooooooooorbonoxious. Crombolonious."
"I don't know."
Platonic until proven guilty.
Platonic until proven guilty.
Some good ol' manipulation tactics
My sibling has accused me of manipulation in the past, they said it like it was a bad thing.
If everyone has context for what happened, and no one regrets it - does the 'manipulation' make it 'bad'?
It's my understanding that manipulation is a broad category of tools used to get a desired outcome. Motive is the thing to consider. (Please don't hate the chisel.)
So you only have good motives! All good then.
Manipulatin' is nothing too complicated.
Some things to keep in mind if you want something from someone:
Make it easy for them to give it to you
Make it enjoyable for them to give it to you
Be nice to them
Enjoy your time together
Build human empathy
Ask for the thing you want [Direct]
Do stuff that they like
Appeal to their desires
Sell them on what you'd do
Do something for them
Maintain a healthy relationship
Don't be annoying about it [hard part]
DON'T BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT [JEOPARDIZES THE MISSION]
Don't demand more than you know they can give.
Fulfilling these objectives might require some expertise. Some planning. Some listening.
That top tier, delicious, vintage, quality manipulation *for good motives* leaves the other party satisfactory, happy, or at least not feeling like they got cheated. This means you can keep manipulating them [said goodly.]
How exquisite.
Problems that you may encounter:
They don't like you ;-;
They suck
You suck
They're too busy
They like their something too much to give it to you
Every problem that can exist
In practice my sibling was talking about me weaseling purchases out of our parents for my own benefit (I was a kid.) I'd do a song and dance about each new hobby I got into. I'd research for 40 hours the hottest yoyo's and sickest strings only to drop the hobby after my fingers hurt a lil. I also cooked a lot of dinners for the family, I chatted with my mom late at night about job anxiety, and I was a chill lil tot. I was and continue to be 'an easy child with quirks' [now a harder child - cause left the house. and is broke and spends most free hours obsessively scribbling.]
I didn't go too much into the specifics because. Uh. Weird.
And people who look up "how to manipulate" are probably not always the best people.
So. Next time you want a lil' treat, a ride, a whatever from your person. Give 'em the works. Make their fucking life better.
Sincerely
Ben!