Ed Restriction - Tumblr Posts
Food Log Jan. 4, 2022
Breakfast:
Nothing
Total: 0cal
Lunch:
Nothing
Total: 0cal
Dinner:
Beef ramen (370cal)
Green tea (0cal)
Total: 370cal
Todays total: 370cal
Notes:
Started my period during school today but I kept telling myself it was discharge. I knew my period was coming cus I’ve been cramping before n then today plus my moods been off the hinge. I want affection but then I’m like gtfo u disgusting mf n then there’s the need to cry even tho there’s nothing to cry abt n my overthinking gets worse like I thought I annoyed the homie today bc I was all moody n he could tell but at least he gave a hug. Safe hugs fr. Im extra bloated during my period so I get more self conscious with my body dysmorphia plus I’m sick all the time so it kinda helps with restricting but it also just makes me feel worse. Got up to shit after napping n almost passed out on the fuckin toilet. So at least I ate something.
Didn’t get a picture of my tea my bad
it's weird I went for binging like crazy to actually being able to starve myself with having the urge to eat everything in site
it's been about a week and I've only eaten 470 in total these past 7 days
I keep alternating between starving myself one day and then eating very low cal foods the next and so on
I thought I would feel a lot more hungrier but I don't?
weird.
Help me choose what to eat tomorrow!
Option 1🍏:
Gerber apple cinnamon puffs ( 150)
1 cup unsweetened almond milk (30)
*I would eat this like cereal for a total of 180 calories
Option 2🐟:
3 packets of lemon pepper tuna (210)
pickles (0)
* I would mix together for a total of 210 cal
Option 3🍄:
mushrooms (~15)
1/4 cup of Jasmine rice ( 160)
2 tbsps of low sodium soy sauce (20)
* I would stir it all together to make a mushroom rice for a total of 195 calories
Option 4🥣:
2/3 cup of Greek nonfat plain yogurt (130)
1 green apple (95)
1 tbsp of cinnamon (19)
*I would stir it all together for a delicious apple cinnamon yogurt for a total of 244 calories
you’d think I’d run out of tears by now
does anyone else hold off their bodily functions until they accomplish something?
like earlier I held my pee in for almost 2 hours until I finished my math homework
I just need a month
A month to just fucking lose myself
A month of not being able to get out of bed
A month of not taking care of myself
A month of barely eating
A month of no responsibilities
A month of SH
A month of substance abuse
A month please
And then I’ll get my shit together
I promise
I am in a constant state of mourning
sleep is my only solace
✨🌕✨
guilt consumes me every second I’m awake
being alive is a very hard thing if you think about it
so many things you have to worry about for JUST existing (basic necessities like food, shelter,etc.)
and then let’s say you have school or work
OR KIDS?!
like how do you manage everything at once
its very complicated
what I ate today:
air 💨💗
water 💧💗
weed🍃💗
wow I love binging to the point I feel SUPER full and then making myself throw up for half and hour 👍
why are diet sodas so addicting?😩
I want to be so physically ill that people start to worry
it’s offical
as of today I have officially lost 20lbs
I’ve been starving myself for about a year and I’ve gone from 208lbs to 188 lbs
The hyvee employee with me in the yogurt aisle
Me: *doing my normal grocery shopping*
The Target Employee watching me read Soup Labels for 45 minutes:
