Dark Thoughts - Tumblr Posts

"You're gonna cum for me again. You can do it, cum for me, good girl.."

How does Bonten Manjiro feel about heavy petting?

Oooh a tr ask, yay

Alright, so I feel like it depends on who's receiving this... heavy petting. I'm gonna use, reader grabbing at his dick in a meeting.. I can't decide on whether or not he just wouldn't care and continue to let you play with it OR he'd slap your hand away and glare at you... so both

If it's the former, he'd probably just sit there looking bored as you play with his cock, he'll probably glance at you as he continues to listen to Koko talk about a new big money deal. Hell, he might even go as far as to let you give him a blow job. Bonten Mikey, I'd say, is pretty unphased with everything. You're his girl, his property, his pet, if anyone has a problem with it they can say so... if they're cool with receiving a bullet in their brain right after that is.

NOW if it's the latter, as in, him slapping your hand away... then, you should just sit pretty and not touch him anymore. He's most likely already irritated. If you still continue to touch him though, he'll grab you by your hair and pull you off your chair (or his lap) and put you between his thighs, pushing your face down into his crotch and holding you there by your neck. Don't even think about moving btw, he's much stronger than you (even as scrawny as he is in bonten) so you flailing will do nothing but further piss him off. You wanted his cock so bad so why don't you lay there and let him dry hump your face.

AND... if you're the one receiving the heavy petting (via groping) you're expected to do as he asks. Don't move if he doesn't tell you to, don't talk if he doesn't tell you to, don't even look at him if he doesn't ask you to do so. Whether or not you're in the mood doesn't really matter. He's a busy man, he has little time to get his dick wet and he very much dares you to try and start barking like a disobedient bitch.

new blog @whatdoidowithallthislove with poems about longing, heart break, and lust, some scattered images that once meant something to someone, darker thoughts that my therapist would love to dig into, and who knows what else x queue kicks off today

I want to fill my journal pages with blood.

The best kind of present 😍💝

my teen cunnys ur present🥰🎀

I just wanted to be kidnapped by a person who is obsessively in love with me.

Dabs always make me drooly as fuck. Means after I do them my mouth is so ready to be used.

Do with this information what you will.

I'm looking for attention. Please for the love of Satan, send me fucking sick anon messages about how you want to hurt me. Please please please.

I'm dark and twisted horny. I'm push my face into the concrete in the alley horny. I'm break into my house and wake me up at knifepoint horny. I'm put a gun to my head and fuck my face horny. I'm drug me until I blackout and drag me into the back of your car horny.

Things I’ve said on fanfics Part 1

All glitter is edible if you are prepared to die

I will seek my "great perhaps", I will keep on fighting.

I seek for a "great perhaps"; it isn't easy to keep on living while the living tries to end me with their smothering accusations. Maybe life has to be lived that way to understand how it works. I'm not a child, or a hormonal teenager yelling the "LIFE SUCKS!" every minute, I do that mentally.

I've loved too much to suffer like this, people keep on targeting me like I'm some kind of a toy that they have snatched from a classmate they like to bully. It's scarring, these memories and the inferno I am living in right now.

I wish the world had let me keep my childish innocence, but I was forced to grow up, mentally it has been exhausting. Exalting feelings? They lost their way; they never reached me; I'm still waiting.

The mind is funny. It keeps on shouting me; it's deafening. I'd like to end my journey here, but I keep on going. I keep on living even though the world around me tells me not to.

I will keep on fighting; I need to survive. It's a hungry world that keeps feeding on fragile souls. Oh, darling. How I wish I could have kept you safe but I, too, want to be saved.

I always feel like closing down myself whenever I feel like I've revealed a bit too much. It sucks. I feel like an imposter, a fake. I can never be myself, no one really knows me, hey think they know me but, do they really know me?

thought about buying a gun today

had a conversation with a trans friend of mine who's thinking about joining the military to escape poverty. not gonna go into detail there but it was heavy conversation and sparked these thoughts.

on the one hand, i'm queer and leftist. i'm scared when i see right wing people hoarding guns. i'd like to have one or more for the peace of mind that if push comes to shove i have something to defend myself with.

however, i know that if i do acquire a firearm, im going to put it in my mouth to see how that feels. not with any bullets or anything. just to feel it, taste it, experience that feeling.

but i know enough about mental health to know what that is. that's a big step in suicidal ideation. what's to stop me from putting a round in the chamber once i get more comfortable? and even if i'm not actively planning how i would kill myself, if i owned a gun, i would know i could. i would know deep down that if i ever wanted too id have a really easy way to do that. and is that even really different from having a plan? i also don't like that i don't know if i would play russian roulette if i purchased a revolver. i'd like to think the answer is no, but if i'm honest with myself, 17% is like, not terrible odds?

i'll be 23 soon. and i've noticed over the past few years my suicidal ideation has progressively grown. when i was in highschool, or maybe even middleschool, i realized nothing really cosmically mattered. i think soon after the idea of dying was scary but it wasn't impossible, and i thought hey it would suck but i'd be dead so it wouldn't really matter to me at that point. i wouldn't ever kill myself, but if i got hit by a bus it wouldn't be a huge deal.

and that's how it stayed really. and i still feel that way, although now that i'm actively transitioning and finding myself, i'm a lot more hesitant when i think rationally about these things. i don't want to die and have my obituary and headstone say [deadname], and what's more, things have just started getting good and i am excited to see where life takes me. despite that though, a few weeks ago i looked at my window differently. i live 5 stories up. would that be high enough? i didn't google for an answer. and i frankly still don't want to know.

objectively, i am the happiest i've ever been. ironically though, i'm also the closest i've ever been to suicide. i've been throwing that thought around my brain for a few months now. it's weird.

For your consideration, a page from my journal...

Well we know thanks to the last arc of TCW s5 that nanobots exist in Star Wars, that they can be programmed to explode, set on a timer (and possibly even detonate via remote) and still go off even if they were ingested; turning anyone unfortunate enough to unknowingly consume them into a walking, living bomb.

Of course it wouldn’t be as a devastating explosion as the one that damaged the Jedi Temple and killed just about everyone in the hangar; leaving only the one of the unwitting bomber’s hands behind.

My guess would be that the transmitter chips are really nanobots. Microscopic and impossible to completely remove from the person that they’re in before being caught and if you’re scanning for a chip you’re wasting your time.

The nanobots possibly aren’t always transmitting the location of the body their in but can be asked for the person’s location and if the slave isn’t where they should be and if the owner than chooses they can order the nanobots to detonate,

Alternatively they might transmit data at certain places and if they don’t have a reasonable to be there the nanobots explode.

Of course it might all be a lie just to keep slaves from running away but I don’t know; especially if Bad Batch has new information about the chips.

Slave chips are CANON?! I thought they were just a real popular fanon thing for extra angst

they are canon! and a kind of fascinating bit of worldbuilding, actually, i think.

the other major slave trade we see in canon is the market on zygerria, and transmitters don’t come up once in the arc, and zygerria actually has entirely alternate methods of controlling their population of slaves - so this leads me to believe the transmitters are a trademark of hutt slaves. creating a bomb that’s so small it needs a specific kind of scanner to be able to find it would be an expensive process even in a universe that’s technologically advanced and probably fairly costly, and then that would make purchasing that technology costly, so i don’t think it was universal in hutt territories especially among slaves that were traded between smaller buyers, but i think it was a trademark of slaves trafficked by the hutts specifically; because, realistically speaking, a method of controlling a person that destroys the actual “merchandise” isn’t useful to the vast majority of slaveowners, who are probably maxing out at a handful of slaves. but the hutts are incredibly, ludicrously wealthy, and detonating a transmitter was something they could do for kicks, and they probably used the fact that they implanted their slaves with unique controlling devices as, well - a marketing gimmick. a way to get an edge on their competitors.

that paragraph, by the way, viscerally grossed me out to write, so after taking a minute to cool down i’ll continue with more absolutely grotesque observations on space capitalism; so slavery flourishes in areas with low population and high demand for labor, right? because low population means managers would have to, dare i say it, pay workers competitively to get the influx of workers they need to meet the labor demand. but, naturally, that is the antithesis of profit, and the end goal of maximization of profit is always slavery - i can’t believe these are sentences i’m writing for a batshit insane meta on star wars, when that’s our real-world circumstances, this is hitting too close to home, but go off miss kirby - so i’m assuming the reason the slave trade has such roots in tatooine is that tatooine must have resources of incredible value. it’s canonically a planet that’s so garbage people had to invent ways to get water, which generally renders planets unlivable, but whatever’s on tatooine had to outweigh that immense living costs, and it also has to be important enough that jabba would centralize control there, despite the planet being specifically mostly unlivable to his whole giant slug species. i’d say a space power source of some kind, because those are always extremely lucrative investments - like kyber crystals, but as far as i’m aware, kyber crystals are specific to illum and sacred to the jedi, and the only other major use of them was in the death star, which was palpatine being palpatine. outside of that, there’s spice, considering that tatooine has implications as being extremely important to the drug trade - considering han’s job is to run drugs and we’re introduced to him on tatooine - and according to other canon phrases like “spice mines of kessel”, spice doesn’t come from a plant, and has to be actually mined. so like cocaine, if cocaine was, well, dirt. which is a lot more plausible for tatooine’s environmental conditions than tatooine having massive space coca plant greenhouses.

so, then it becomes profitable for the hutts to bully their way in, and traffic slaves to tatooine primarily for the purpose of being the labor behind their space drug trade, and then also slaves to serve as their personal entertainment, what have you; but with all that free labor, people who have workers that they actually pay are choked out of business because they’re gobbled up by people making bigger profits, and then, eventually, pretty much everyone has a slave or a couple and pretty much all of those slaves are descended from the hutt’s stock (i would like to vomit, thanks) so slave transmitters are then ubiquitous on tatooine when they’re not even a thing on zygerria whatsoever. but i still find the idea of a method of control being to outwardly, just, kill your slave? a little bit of a stretch, because that’s sort of considered a waste of investment, especially in situations where there’s a riot and a show of force would require the slaughter of a lot of slaves at once; i’m assuming that there has to be other features, like it doubles as, well, a torture device to inflict pain as punishment, and death happens to be the highest setting and the one that’s activated if a slave exits a certain programmed area. but that brings up all sorts of questions, like what’s the other endpoint of the device and what method does it use to transmit signals to something inside someone’s body, how are those signals untraceable so as to maintain the secrecy of where the bomb is, how is the safe range for a slave to wander without getting blown up decided and then programmed, and finally - how are they deactivated? or, can they be deactivated?

because this is all speculation, here, but it’s a common fandom thing that they can be deactivated, but what would that actually mean depending on how the device functions? is “deactivation” just eliminating the range threshold on the device, so a person doesn’t blow up if that range is exited, but otherwise the device is fully-functional, or is deactivating it actually rendering the device completely null? i’m going to be honest, i lean towards the first one, because i don’t think slaveowners are programming ways to free their slaves into their slave-controlling devices. i think the purpose of deactivating a transmitter was to transport a slave to a new location or to a new owner, and then otherwise the device remains functional, and ready to be reprogrammed from the endpoint device. i just don’t think it’d be in the MO of the hutts to implant slaves with bombs that can be turned off without removing the whole bomb, it sort of defeats the purpose of the whole endeavor, and defeats the purpose of what i think was their marketing gimmick - and all of this is really bad, wow. really garbage cans. i really hate trying to think like evil people sometimes.

Dark is a Kama Sutra for your brain. In the beginning you have no idea in how many beautiful ways your brain will be "loved" and "twisted". In the middle you are enjoying the process so much you can't keep the track of time, looped in this extasy, and after it finished... You just keep laying down in your bed, exhausted, trying to understand: "was it the best sex my brain has ever had?". Can I erase my memories and do it all over again?

- one of my morning thoughts about Netflix's Dark

Which Jonas took Mikkel to the caves?

(Dark S2-S3 thoughts)

Usually there are two opinions - either it is Jonas after his trip to another world or it's Jonas from his travels with Claudia.

We know that time is linear within the loop, if you travel with a help of the passage or the time apparatus. Only the God's particle can break the rule of linearity, and can take you whenever you want /to some random time. And we still don't know how Martha's golden sphere works, and what can it do.

Ok, let's jump into the "which Jonas..." discussion.

In my opinion, Jonas who got Mikkel through the caves is probably Jonas from his year with Claudia. Let's briefly recall the events supporting this idea:

So Jonas 2020 returns on 20-21 June of 2019 through the Dark matter bubble. He kisses Martha, already being 1 year older than her at the time (if it's safe to presume they were born in the same year). He causes Jonas 2019 and Martha to make love and then goes to save his father. That idea fails, as Michael tells him that Jonas from very near future gets him through the caves. Claudia appears, and Jonas 2020 leaves with her to linearly travel in time by 33 years cycles. So I assume that in 4 and a half months he returnes to show Mikkel the way and then continues his travels with Claudia. When he returnes home in the day of the Apocalypse, he still is at least 1 year older than he should have been if he would not traveled in time. Then Martha finds him, Adam finds them, Martha 2 finds them too (Seriously, Jonas, were you even hiding??) And they travel to another world to which we have 1001 questions to ask. We don't know how the time-space traveling works there – do they have a loop, and how can you time travel, linearly or not? We still have no idea for how long Jonas is going to stay there, or when it will be safe to come back.

That's why I think the Jonas from his "travels with Claudia" time is the one who gets Mikkel to the caves.

So, untill proven wrong by season 3, it seems like a solid theory to me:)

Let me know your thoughts in the notes section:)

"A part of me wonders if you'll even show up to my funeral. Will we still be friends before we die?"

- Dreaming of Wolves//Dark 3AM Thoughts

(Don't worry, I'm okay I swear, I'm just expressing myself.)

"How am I supposed to say I miss you and I love you when you ruined my life? How am I supposed to morn you when you were my monster, controlling me like a puppet that I wasn't. I'm free, and yet here I am, still confused. Are you family or a foe? Am I supposed to miss you or forget you? Am I even supposed to have these thoughts?"

- Dreaming of Wolves//Dark 3AM Thoughts