"How Am I Supposed To Say I Miss You And I Love You When You Ruined My Life? How Am I Supposed To Morn

"How am I supposed to say I miss you and I love you when you ruined my life? How am I supposed to morn you when you were my monster, controlling me like a puppet that I wasn't. I'm free, and yet here I am, still confused. Are you family or a foe? Am I supposed to miss you or forget you? Am I even supposed to have these thoughts?"

- Dreaming of Wolves//Dark 3AM Thoughts

"How dare you. How dare you leave me when I am at my worst. You hold a blank stare as you shatter me with your words. Can't you see I'm bleeding out? You storm away and shut the door, and the only thing I can possibly think of is how I just lost you. And how much I'm going to miss you. But you don't care, and now I realize, you never did."

- Dreaming of Wolves//Vent

Things I Needed To Hear But Never Did:

- You are enough. No matter what, you are enough.

- It's okay to not be okay.

- Never stay in toxic relationships. Run away as far as you can from them.

- People break your heart. And it's okay. And it's okay to feel like you will never live again. You'll survive. I promise.

- You deserve the love you give others too.

- You deserve to be protected.

- It's okay to be vulnerable.

- Opening up to others is beneficial. Not every person will be as untrustful as the first. You can trust some.

- You deserve love. You deserve affection. You deserve a personal connection.

- Someone misses you somewhere.

- You don't have to be perfect. Perfection isn't the key to everything.

- Apologies may fix it in words, but actions are what really matter.

- Love yourself before you try and love anyone else.

- They're not staring at you. They don't hate you. Breathe. It's okay. You're okay. Everything is okay. No need to panic.

What To Do If You Catch Me Venting In A Conversation:

- liSTEN.

- Try to calm me down.

- DO NOT say that my emotions/things I am talking about are invalid.

- Put yourself in my shoes and try to see it from my perspective.

- Don't. Leave.

- Try and understand.

* I'll probably tell you sorry the next day or so if I find I'm overreacting. I'll probs just say I'm sorry in general.

Where To Find Me If I've Disappeared:

-Sitting under a tree, reading a book

-Basking in moonlight

-Stargazing

-Wandering in a forest

-Sitting by an ocean/jumping in the ocean

-Looking up in the sky

-Getting lost in thought/daydreaming, anywhere

-Writing poems in the rain

-Jumping in puddles in the rain

-Writing during a storm

-Crying, anywhere

-Being captured by aliens

-Being locked up in my room, watching anime

-Spending time with any animal to exsist. Ever.

-Sketching at a coffee shop

-Spending time with the best people in the world, AKA my friends

-Tumblr

Personality Quirks/Quirks in General I Have:

-Flinch at physical contact

-Can't navigate for the life of me, but once I have a path down, I will never not go that path

-Can't solve most school locks

-Always paranoid that someone is going to hurt me. Mostly stab or shoot me.

-Paranoid of people behind me, that's why I never turn my back on people. Literally.

-Can't eat in front of people because I'm messy, and another reason.

-Literally the most mess of a person you will ever meet.

-I use literally too much.

-I cry over everything. I know I'm over emotional.

-But some reason, can't show weakness in front of strangers/my parents.

-I have a very, very good long term and short term memory.

-I always have a weird way of thinking and cannot follow the way teachers teach me.

-Due to my number phobia, both clocks and math are hard for me to deal with.

-Seriously. I have no idea what goes on during math. I just pretend to know what I'm doing.

-And also, I have a schedule for sleeping due to the phobia of numbers.

-I need every friend of mine to give me a gift, preferably a plushie, once we get close because I need something that reminds me of them + bares their smell in case I lose that person.

-I am too much of a perfectionist and can't stand when things are out of order.

-If the house is messy/my room, I can't work, sleep, and I become restless.

-I have a MASSIVE fear of losing my friends/my friends being killed my enemies.

-That's why I'm overprotective of them.

-I wear my heart on my sleeve too much, and always get broken in the end.

-I either trust completely or not at all, there's no in between.

-I have two personalities, the way I see me, and the way my friends see me. Both are very accurate to who I am.

-I constantly struggle with balance in my life.

-If you are my enemy, yoU'RE GOING DOWN. I will not let you hurt my friends. Ever. Fight me.

-I have an overwhelming fear of school shootings/mass shootings and always prepare myself for one.

-I watch scary documentaries and then go to sleep and have nightmares.

-I count nightmares as just dreams.

-I remember all of my dreams. I frequently lucid dream, but just see what happens instead of controlling myself.

-I seem chill, but I'm super uptight.

-I am drawn to people that have the "bad boy" look.

-I read too many X Readers because I need to feel loved.

-I love people watching.

-When I have a crush, I'll stalk them online.

-Animals always consider me their mate for some reason??