Communicate - Tumblr Posts
I decided the kind of person I want to be is someone who can be calm and rational even under duress. For example, I once got my hand stuck in a gate, and found it better to say, "open the gate right now," than to swear because my hand was released sooner than if my word choice had been different.
Enthusiasm (or anger or any other deeply felt emotion) doesn't have to be big and bold and loud and swearing when there are a myriad of words and expressions in the English language which can more accurately depict emotions than the more commonly phraseology. Using a swear is creating a shortcut which cuts right past true meaning instead of hitting it dead on.
Also, the best advice I ever got about not swearing came from my dad. He said, "When you think a swear word, bite your tongue and make it hurt." This leads, some days, to having a really sore tongue. But it also leads to having a cleaner vocabulary. And I think when expressing oneself, preciseness instead of vulgarity goes a long way.
Anyway, my point is:
tl;dr preciseness in language creates greater understanding and connection between people
how do people not swear??? like where does their anger go?? how do they show their enthusiasm??? what if they stub their toe??? like saying golly gosh isn’t really gonna cut it barbara
This is a picture of one of the bulletin boards I update at the San Francisco Spiritual Enrichment Center. February's theme is about hearts and golden thread. I'll show you the update in a few days.
@minniemochicutie @wordbinge @matzahstein @yessmoking @ncvnica umm, what happened? I thought we were cool? Do y'all wanna talk about it & give me some kind of closure, at least???
not that it really matters, but i’ve definitely noticed over the years that the more active and personable i am on here, the more followers/mutuals i lose 😌
It's been 19 hrs since I reblogged this and only one ex-mutual has reached out to me offering an explanation for unfollowing me, as of now. Hm. I think this speaks volumes about the rest of y'all. 🙄
not that it really matters, but i’ve definitely noticed over the years that the more active and personable i am on here, the more followers/mutuals i lose 😌
I’m going to give you the best piece of Adult Life Is Hard advice I’ve ever learned:
Talk to people when things go to shit.
I don’t just mean get it off your chest, although that’s good. I mean: Something’s wrong with your paycheck/you lost your job/you had unexpected emergency car repairs and now you’re broke so your credit card payment is late. Like, not just 15 days late. We’re talking, shit got crazy and now you’re 90 days late with compounded interest and late fees and the Minimum Payment Due is, like, $390, and you’ve got about $3.90 in your bank account. Call the credit card company.
I know it’s scary. I know you feel like you’re going to get in trouble, like you’re gong to get yelled at or scolded for not having your life together. But the credit card company isn’t your parents; they’re just interested in getting money from you. And you can’t squeeze blood from a stone or money from someone who doesn’t have any. So what you do is you call them. You explain you’re experiencing temporary financial hardships, and you’re currently unable to bring your account up to date, but you don’t want to just let it get worse. Can you maybe talk to someone about a payment plan so you can work something out? Nine times out of ten you’ll be able to negotiate something so that at least it’s not just taking a constant, giant shit on your credit score.
- Can’t pay your power bill? Call the power company.
- Can’t pay your full rent? Talk to your landlord.
- Had to go to the hospital without insurance and have giant medical bills looming in your place? Call the hospital and ask if they have someone who helps people with financial hardships. Many do.
- Got super sick and missed half a semester of class because flu/pneumonia/auto-immune problems/depressive episode? Talk to your professor. If that doesn’t help, talk to your advisor.
You may not be able to fix everything, but you’ll likely be able to make improvements. At the very least, it’s possible that they have a list of people you can contact to help you with things. (Also, don’t be afraid to google things like, “I can’t pay my power bill [state you live in]” because you’d be surprised at what turns up on Google!) But the thing is, people in these positions gain nothing if you fail. There’s no emotional satisfaction for them if your attempts at having your life together completely bite the dust. In fact, they stand to benefit if things work out for you! And chances are, they’ll be completely happy to take $20 a month from you over getting $0 a month from you, your account will be considered current because you’ve talked to them and made an agreement, you won’t get reported to a collections agency, and your credit score won’t completely tank.
Here’s some helpful tips to keep in mind:
1. Be polite. Don’t demand things; request them. Let me tell you about how customer service people hold your life in their hands and how many extra miles they’ll go for someone who is nice to them.
2. Stick to the facts, and keep them minimal unless asked for them. Chances are they’re not really interested in the details. “We had several family emergencies in a row, and now I’m having trouble making the payments” is better than “Well, two months ago my husband wrecked his bike, and then he had a reaction to the muscle relaxer they gave him, and then our dog swallowed a shoestring and we had to take him to the emergency clinic, and just last week MY car broke down, and now my account’s in the negatives and I don’t know how I’m gonna get it back out.” The person you’re talking to is aware shit happens to everyone; they don’t need the details to prove you’re somehow “worthy” of being helped. They may ask you for details at a certain point if they have to fill out any kind of request form, but let them do that.
3. Ask questions. “Is there anything we can do about X?” “Would it be possible to move my payment date to Y day instead so it’s not coming out of the same paycheck as my rent?” The answer may be “no.” That’s not a failure on your part. But a good customer service person may have an alternate solution.
Anyway! I hope that helps! Don’t just assume the answer is “no” before you’ve even begun. There is more help out there than you ever imagined.
Stop giving 100% to ppl who give you 20%
i think love is stored in nighttime conversations and “did you eat yet” and books left outside your door and “i waited to watch this with you” and splitting something in half to share and “im proud of you” and folded towels and “you can pick” and heads on shoulders and “you’re right, that was shitty. im sorry” and knocks on doors and “DINNER!” and stupid jokes and “hey i got this for you” and coffee made just right and… there are so many ways people say i love you silently every day over and over again if you only listen
HOW TO KNOW THEY LOVE YOU TRULY?
Where there is true love, you will see these three things constantly:
Constant care
Constant communication
Constant efforts to make you happier
Simple, if it’s not there. It’s just time pass. Because actions speaks more than words always.
I like open minded people let's talk about aliens, mermaids, ghosts. All that shit
You can lose your girl from lack of communication, a lack of attention, or just disrespect. You do not have to cheat to lose your girl.
