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NO I WILL NOT BE COMBINING THEIR NAMES

Do you really want them to be known as "Shaig"?? Or "Cren"??

*BAM* Here's all the stuff I posted on AO3

These are just the latest ones (within the last two months), you can look through the ship tags to find more :D

I am getting almost zero engagement, I am literally tweaking

Craig/Shen (still need ship names that aren't just name combos)

Vic/Shen

Gen Fics

Crackships

Perhaps some headcanons for the de vissen siblings? :D

-Vanilla is a raging lesbian with comphet

-Vic's a shameless pansexual

-Vanilla and Vic are fraternal twins, with Vic being a mere seven minutes older, but they like to call each other baby bro/sis to annoy each other

-They both have a seventeen step skin care and night time routine, yes, with all the bougie products (it works though, their skin is soft)

-Vanilla had to wear braces in high school, but photoshopped them out of all of her photos (except one, which is in Vic's possession without her knowledge)

-Vanilla was a beauty pageant child

-Both are models in some of Vissia's shoots and are in quite a few magazines

-Vic loves seafood, especially crab, shrimp, and lobster

-Vic's really good on a jetski

"Easy, Pam, you're doing a great job. Just a couple more bites and then you can lie down again, I promise. Shen, can you make her some tea? Vic, you’re really not being helpful."

Hehehe Pam being sick and the boys having to take care of her is a very silly concept

They’re trying their best,,,

Shen’s making her some nice hot soup and a cup of tea, Craig’s comforting her, and Vic…is trying. He’s providing the entertainment

Shen’s proposed giving her some of his Chinese herbal medicine that he kept, but Pam’s heard enough about how disgusting it is from Violet, so she adamantly refuses

What are the boys like when drunk?

HEHEHEHEH

Shen: Doesn't get drunk often, usually the one calling ubers for the drunk Geckos. But if he does get drunk...

-His drink of choice is honey whiskey

-Either being very clingy with Vic and Craig, or he's ready to fight god and die trying

-Won't start a bar fight, but by golly, if he's drunk enough, he'll finish one

-Acts like a small child when its time to leave

Craig: Gets drunk the most out of the three, due to the amount of frat parties he goes to with the Geckos

-Drink of choice is definitely beer

-This is when he fully transforms into a himbo, he's very giggly and very very dumb

-Has flirted with Shen while drunk before, and when he saw a picture on his own phone of Shen and him and Vic, he cried because "he's not single"

-His motor skills...leave a lot to be desired...

-He's a crier. Doesn't matter if its cute, or just a little bit sad, he's sobbing

Vic: Not a fan of getting drunk, but sometimes when he's in good company, he feels comfortable drinking

-Drink of choice is wine. He's bougie, I don't know what you expect.

-Very...feisty, to say the least

-Insists he's not drunk (even when its obvious he is)

-Very horny honest

Headcanons for Zoe!

Hmm,, There’s not much about her in the canon series, but I’ll do my best!!

-She's had to deal with being very unpopular in high school, so thats why she's sucking up so hard to Vanilla

-Kind of a pick-me girl

-She's got STYLE

-Is a complete slut for essential oils

-Likes astrology (just for fun though, she doesn't take it seriously)

-May or may not have the hots for Vanilla

-Cat person

-Thinks coffee lovers are pretentious, miserable pricks (even though she's very snooty about her matcha)

-Has a box full of jewelry that she never wears

Here is the Shen tag, go nuts :D

YALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I ADORE THIS MAN

This PATHETIC, SOPPING WET, NERD ASS MAN

Bro is a hopeless romantic, a theater kid, cannot swim, and he wears PLAID

I just can’t resist his stupid nerd swag

He wants SO BADLY to be one of The Boys, but let’s be honest, he’s a girl’s guy. He is so sweet and he is mushier than mozzarella

Not to mention, he is canonically a short king, he stands at the same height or shorter than ALL OF THE THEA SISTERS (not that heights are kept that consistent anyway but c’est la vie)

He is everything to me which explains why I have made like 16 fanfics all about him

Shen: wearing Pamela’s sweater Pamela: wearing Vic’s jacket Vic: wearing Craig’s jacket Craig: blinking

Craig’s certainly isn’t gonna fit into any of Shen’s clothes, that’s for sure.

He’s jelly Shen’s wearing Pam’s sweater instead of his /hj

True or false: Craig ate his first peanut-butter-and-ketchup sandwich on a dare and has never looked back since.

Absolutely true. Or alternatively, he mistook it for jam one tired morning and liked it a little too much. That's his favorite struggle meal his freshman year of college.

Shen of course was appalled when he found out, and refuses to buy ketchup on his grocery runs. (If Craig wants to buy some, he can, but only if its his own money. Shen is not paying for Craig to eat like a broke college student)

"This," Vic says drowsily, "is not fair."

"What's not?" Craig yawns.

"How you can shower with that Old Spice sewage and still have your hair look this good."

Craig yawns again and rolls over, careful not to dislodge his head from the pillow atop Vic’s lap as he pulls a slumbering Shen closer to his chest. "M' just... awesome that way."

"Annoying," Vic corrects. He doesn't stop running his fingers through Craig’s unruly curls, though.

Shen mumbles something unintelligible.

Craig figures it'd probably be a good idea to tell Vic to go to sleep so as not to be cranky tomorrow, but between the late hour and the gentle massaging at his scalp, his brain's not really working all that well.

So he leaves it as a soft huff.

@sodagremlin

Craig headcanons!

-He absolutely plays either football or baseball. I’m taking zero criticism, he literally wears a lettermen jacket

-That being said, he’s also super mushy, especially when it comes to romance. He’ll be all shy around his crush, he’ll send love letters, and he loves to cuddle

-He just has a huge bottle of Old Spice three in one in his shower, and somehow his hair is the most luscious you’ve ever seen

-His guilty pleasure are those old spy and cowboy movies

-Loves kids, wants to have some of his own one day

(More under the cut)

-This man does not possess a single braincell. Sometimes social cues take him a minute, and don’t even mention academics, but when it comes to sports strategies, he’s got it DOWN

-He thinks with his fists (and his heart) rather than his head

-Always using his outside voice, hence why he’s been banned so many times from the library

-Say what you will about his…lackluster cooking skills, my man can work a grill (mostly burgers)

-Gets along best with Nicky and Pam

-He’s an American, born and raised in Texas, so he is VERY MUCH southern

-He may be a himbo now, but in high school he was a massive douche, mostly struggling with toxic masculinity and typical teenage insecurities

-Has at least one pair of cowboy boots

-Hates suits and other formal wear (Says it’s “too stuffy”)

-He was the one who fell for Shen first, and he fell HARD

-LOVES peanut butter, he has it on pretty much everything

A little thingie I made a while back

Did somebody say…

Craig x Shen Headcanons??

No? Well here’s some anyway :D

-I said this before, but they are the epitome of Nerd x Himbo

-They first met via Craig accidentally tackling Shen at football practice (Craig was immediately smitten, Shen…not so much)

-Sometimes when the gym is closed, Craig just uses Shen as a weight

-Shen’s favorite sleeping spot is on Craig’s chest, because let’s face it, that man is a living HEATER

-Shen sometimes packs Craig lunch (mostly Chinese recipes)

-They’re both cat people, and they’re considering fostering kittens

-Shen is a jacket-stealer

-Craig is VERY mushy, he tries to act all cool and tough, but he falls apart after Shen kisses him on the cheek

-Craig is the only one besides Violet who knows Shen’s given name, and only he can use it (It’s Zhao btw)

-Shen snorts when he laughs and Craig finds that so cute

-They both cry at Pixar movies, especially Wall-E

-Craig has a fear of thunder and Shen provides him comfort on stormy nights

-Craig’s favorite thing is just randomly picking Shen up. Why? Because he can

-Shen’s love language is cooking whole meals

-A lot of the girls are NOT happy about their number one crush being taken by a dweeb

-Craig finally teaches Shen how to swim

-Craig has a VERY strong protective instinct, like a German Shepherd

-They’re both able to freely express their feelings around each other, Craig doesn’t have to act tough and Shen’s allowed to be angry

Here’s them, as a treat <33

Craig x Shen moment

I’ve not drama as much stuff as I expected despite the amount of free time I had (I played too much Minecraft and Stardew Valley)

The Newer Thea Sisters Books Aren’t as Good as the Older Ones, and Here’s Why

Yes yes, I know I am beating a dead horse here, but I have noticed quite a few patterns when it comes to the newer books, specifically why I don’t like them. So here is my comprehensive list of traits that make the newer books so lackluster.

1. No Continuity

And no, I am not simply referring to small details, like the name of a celebrity that has already been established. What I am referring to, is both the lack of reference to previous books even when relevant, and the complete absence of background knowledge. Let me explain.

So, y’all have read Mystery on the Orient Express, right? If you haven’t, major spoilers ahead. The villains turn out to be a set of identical twins, Dimitri and Leon. But first, before discovering that fact, the Thea Sisters had to tangle with the conundrum of Dimitri’s hand, and why the burn kept disappearing and reappearing. It took them quite a bit of time to work that out because, well, they’d never seen that before. And they’re still new to mystery-solving.

However, in a later book, (spoilers for Phantom of the Orchestra) they are confused by a character named John’s seemingly contradictory behavior, like greeting them like old friends one minute, and acting like they never met the next minute. But here’s the thing. They’ve seen this before, in Mystery of the Orient Express. That shouldn’t have been a huge twist. They shouldn’t have taken that long to figure that out, because they’ve seen it before.

Need another example? So, a common trope in the newer books is that one of the side characters aiding them mysteriously goes missing. Then it turns out, they were kidnapped/led away. It happens almost every single time. Riddle of the Ruins, Niagara Splash, you get the idea. But every single time, the girls dick around like, “Oh no, I wonder where John Doe could have POSSIBLY went” GIRLIEPOPS. THIS AINT YOUR FIRST RODEO. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS.

I get it, they want the series to be episodic and all that, but when it’s actively hurting the story’s writing, and when quite a few readers have read previous books, it ends up detrimental instead of convenient.

2. The Forgettable Side Characters

Have any of you read the Mouseford series, or the graphic novels? If you have, you’re probably familiar with Vanilla (Ruby), Vic (Ryder), Shen, Craig, Tanya (Tanja), and Dina (Elly). All pretty well-established side characters, some even making an appearance in the beginning of the original series’ books.

Clearly, they have a very diverse cast of side characters in their roster. Shen being a sweet, bookish nerd, Craig being a himbo jock, Vic being a chaotic neutral rich boy, Vanilla being your average spoiled rich girl, you get the idea.

So I bet they bring one along on the girls’ adventures to spice up the story, right? Bringing in a fresh new perspective on the story’s events and a refreshing deviation in recurring character dynamics, while also expanding on the side characters themselves. Right?

WRONG

Instead, they make up a character to use as a plot device. I hesitate to even call them characters, because they have no personality. They’re all the same cookie cutter cardboard cutouts again and again. Especially the new male characters.

Can you tell me a SINGLE unique trait about Didier, Ioannis, Mateo, or Akhun?

Can you even tell me which books they’re from?

Of course you can’t! You probably don’t even remember they existed! (Unless they’re your blorbo, in that case, you have my sympathies…)

So instead of using the more interesting and established side characters from Mouseford, they just stick in a plot device of a character and call it a day.

In the older books, the new characters were memorable. Take Ashvin for example, aka, the only character’s name in this category I didn’t have to look up. He had an actual character. He was impulsive, reckless, but had a strong moral code. Contrast that to the new books’ Forgettable Twink #12.

3. Less Emphasis on Culture

This section will be shorter, due to me not really being any of these cultures, and being American, but I still think it’s worth covering.

The idea of the Thea Sisters exploring new countries and cultures is not new. I’d wager that’s the very purpose of the books, to expand the worldviews of impressionable children.

However, in the newer books, it feels a lot more shallow. As in, “a leaflet you got at an airport” shallow. They just barely scrape the surface, and call it a day. Only covering well known foods and internationally known traditions/practices. It’s like if Cherry Blossom Adventure only had the Thea Sisters eating sushi and learning about ninjas or origami. It does that country a massive disservice, especially if you’re native, or even if you’ve just lived there.

This is due to the newer books having the girls see the country through the eyes of a tourist rather than getting immersed in the life of a local.

Take Mountain of Fire for example, they are thrust headfirst into Nicky’s home country. They’re not put up in a hotel in the touristy part of the country, they’re in Nicky’s ranch, experiencing the wildlife, as well as what it’s like to live so far from the city. They see the natural wonders of Australia, as well as learning from the Aboriginal peoples living around the area, including Nicky’s family.

4. Boring Conflict

This one is pretty straightforward. The conflicts in the newer books feel so boring, almost sanitized in a way. There are no real stakes. In the older books, there were many consequences laid out if the villain succeeded. An important link to a dying art would have been lost, the livelihood of Pam’s family business would have been compromised, and not to mention, PEOPLE COULD HAVE DIED.

But now it’s like, “Oh nooo, a single piece from a model is missing, and it’s gonna lose the contest, whatever shall we do 🥺🥺 It’s not like we can recreate it or anything”

There is nothing compelling about the conflicts or its villains. We have no reason to be at the edge of our seats like with Mystery of the Orient Express, where Pam and Nicky LITERALLY CLIMB ON TOP OF A TRAIN TO CATCH THE THIEF BEFORE HE CAN GET AWAY

But now it just feels like a fetch quest of clues, and a wild goose chase for good measure. And just lot of fapping about in general.

I also have to bring up villains. They’re having the same issue as the side characters. They’re all the same greedy, shifty characters that are so obviously up to something.

Final Thoughts

I think all of these flaws can basically boil down to the fact that every book feels like the same story, over and over again, just with different names. (There are some exceptions, but my point still stands)

And just one more note I have is that, I wish the Thea Sisters got more personality to them. Like, I wish they acted like an actual friend group, not like how kids shows love portraying friend groups. Which is a group of girls all nice to each other all the damn time. There’s no depth, there’s no added dynamics that make the friend group feel real. The dialogue is all so flat. I need banter, I need inside jokes, I need playful jabs at one another, I need each sister having a different relationship with one another. We don’t want perfect, we want interesting. (But this isn’t exclusively a newer book issue, so I didn’t put it in the main list)

Aaaannndddd that’s about all I’ve got for you today! Hope you enjoyed this little rant/analysis!!

I may be this book's number one hater someone back me up please

oops drew my fav again

next up is probably mr. stilton himself. or thea. whoever people want more lol

Happy Birthday to me! Ft: @e-adlirez , @soda-gremlin , @carlarosenakilah and my two goofy friends from discord : D

What does an aggressive Shen act like

He rips your self esteem to shreds

Yeah, every little thing he’s annoyed with and not said anything about (a personality trait, a habit, etc)

HE GONNA MAKE SURE YOU KNOW ABOUT IT

If you want an example, read this little oneshot

I hope all the bones in Shen's body explode (affectionate)

NOOOO HES JUST A LITTLE GUYYY

Look at him D:>

Do you perhaps have some headcanons for Shen? :3c

OH BOY, DO I EVER

-Shen is Chinese, specifically from Sichuan, and due to this,

-He really likes spicy food, and has a spice tolerance like NO OTHER, where grown men would cry, he could ask for seconds

-Gets really passive aggressive when he’s annoyed or mad about something, unless he’s sleep deprived, then he’ll just be aggressive

-Colette uses him as basically a dress up doll, not that he really minds

-After Pam (inevitably) rejects him, he gets over it quite well actually. Aaaaafter spending a week in his room crying, watching romantic K-dramas and eating (lactose free since I HC he’s lactose intolerant) ice cream

(More under the cut)

-He’s very prone to fainting, both from fear and from physical strain

-Total klutz. It’s canon

-He and Violet are friends, they have little tea parties where they share gossip entirely in Mandarin

-He also has a bit of a crush on Vic/Ryder. And before you say anything, read this sentence and TELL ME this is 100% heterosexual

-On that note, Shen’s a bisexual DISASTER (and also just a disaster in general, I mean just LOOK AT THAT BOWL CUT)

-Short King™️

-Craig basically just adopted him into his friend group (Extrovert adopting an introvert type thing)

-This is technically canon, but he likes to dance (I HC he likes doing ballet and tango specifically)

-It’s also canon that’s he’s actually a good songwriter (As evidenced by Mice Take the Stage)

-He squeaks like a squeaky toy when he’s scared

-Really good at standing up for his friends, but not really for himself

-I ship him with Vic/Ryder and Craig <3

Either as separate pairings or as a polycule

a list of my favorite spy school funny moments/quotes

- “What the heck are powdered nutgalls?” Chip asked. “It’s what you get after riding a horse at high speed for an hour,” Mike grumbled, gingerly adjusting the seat of his pants.

- Jemma Emma Dilemma

- “Or Agent Kumquat,” Chip added, and then both of them cracked up.

- Alexander glared at him, still smarting from his insult. “See if I ever buy you campfire treats again.” he said, and then stormed out himself.

- “Not necessarily. I could like them as a friend.” “First of all, you don’t have friends.”

- “Parcheesi?! I loooove Parcheesi.”

- “I lost the arm and the leg, but not the eye.” “Oh, how’d you lose that?” “A bug flew into it.” “Uhh, you don’t lose your eye if a bug flies into it.” “You do if it’s your first day with a hook.😒”

- “Although believe it or not, Nefarious actually got off easy. According to his file, his folks named his little sister Placenta.”

- “If there’s one thing I know, it’s women.” Murray exclaimed.

- Now that he had transformed into Hot Murray,

- “How good is your vision?” Mike asked. “It’s off the charts,” Erica replied. “I eat a lot of carrots.”

- “Supposedly the guy was a big jerk, and the peasants all rose up against him and burned him alive, and now his ghost roams the property, looking for a… fire extinguisher or something like that.”

- He was at the base of an extremely tall elm tree, speaking into a radio microphone and seeming far more lucid than usual—although the moment he saw Chip and Jawa, he went right back into his doddering act. “Skip and Yaya!”

- “Dad, I’m going to need you to act like you have no idea what’s going on.” “What?” Alexander asked, confused. “I don’t understand.”

- “Wow! Our pool at spy school didn’t have water slides.” “Really? What did it have?” “Bacterial contamination.😕”

- “So, this girlfriend of Mike’s…is he super into her, or just kind of into her?” “He’s mentioned marriage. 🙂”

- “I think plenty!” The principal said defensively. “My mind is a constant whirlwind of thinkery!”

- “Erica!” Alexander gasped, mortified this had happened in front of so many people. “We do not spit on our grandfathers in this family!”

- Paul Lee leaned close to me and whispered, “Has he uh..uh…had some sort of, um, brain injury?” “No.” I replied. “This is how he was born, I think.”

- “Erica! You’re driving on the wrong side of the street!” “I’m not driving on the wrong side.🙄” Erica argued, gunning the engine. “They are!”

- Chip pegged him in the face with another pair of boxers. “Warren, stop playing with my underwear, you pervert.”

- “Now? Here?” “National security is at stake.” “It was at stake this morning when I was having waffles in the cafeteria. We couldn’t have discussed this then??”

- “All these men are itching for a fight. And since I’m the alpha male here, they’re going to come for me first!” Alexander said. “The alpha male.?🤨” Catherine asked, amused. “Yes! It won’t look good for them to attack women or children, so they’ll attack me first!” “And me.” Murray seconded nervously. “I’m definitely the beta male here!”

- “Neither does Jawa. Why aren’t you suspicious of him?” “Jawa’s a freak of nature. You’re just a freak.”

- “Hey! Where’s my breakfast?” The woman socked him in the face. Murray reeled backward. “Okay! No tip for you!” He said, then collapsed on the floor, unconscious.

- I quickly replaced the skull and wiped my hand on my shirt. “This is sooo not how I wanted to spend my first day in Paris.” OKAY DRAMA QUEEN?

- “West Virginia?” Claire Hutchins called from a few rows up. “I thought that was all strip mines and inbred hillbillies.” “You heard wrong.” Chip shot back. “As you can see, there’s plenty of wilderness here. And the locals are far less inbred than the royal family.”

- “Do you not care one wit for your country?” “No! I care many wits for my country!”

- “What have you done?!” He screamed at us. “What have you done?!” “Well, it’s obvious,” I said. “We’ve blown up a rebel minivan.”

- Murray sighed. “I know you’ve got issues with Ben because he turned you into half the man you used to be.” (About Joshua)

- “Talk about being heavily armed.” Mike said. (Also about Joshua)

Can i get that shen fic??

I don’t know which fic you’re referring to, but here, I’ll give you the link to Shen’s tag on AO3!

You’ll probably be able to find what you’re looking for!