Sex Ed - Tumblr Posts
(In reference to my post about fat/feedism kink)
the comment above displays a complete lack of understanding of kink/fetish in general. to some people, yes, it's liberating to play into the "freak" stereotypes that society has placed upon them. the key thing you are missing here is consent: "liberation" comes from the person being humiliated ultimately having power over what happens to them. no one wants to be called fatphobic things outside of kink - but being in a safe space can make humiliation erotic for some. just like it's liberating for some women to play into submission and misogynistic tropes, but only in the bedroom. just like it's liberating for certain folks to recreate a traumatic scene, only this time they know they're safe and in control. much of kink is about power exchange, role reversal, exploring darker themes, rebelling, embracing the taboo. part of what makes kink so exciting is playing with fantasies that go against your own values. what you enjoy in the bedroom says nothing about who you are as a person. kink is so much more complex than that, and people do not get to pick and choose what works for them. you however, do get to pick and choose what kind of porn you watch.
so - for feedists, I would argue that pig or slob play can be liberating, with an attitude of "so, society thinks I'm a pig? I'll show them just how much of a pig I can be" and getting messy and incorporating that act of rebellion into a pleasurable practice. I think it can be empowering, maybe it's not always humiliating, even if you perceive it to be. of course it's not for everyone and it sure as hell isn't supposed to be! in fact, from what I've seen, this specific kink is a much smaller subsection of the feedism community. I personally dislike it too, but I am absolutely not going to shame anyone who does like it.
you were about to hit the nail on the head with "humiliate yourself on you own time" and still missed. that's... that's exactly what they're doing. that's exactly what kink is. regardless of how you've discovered that type of porn, I guarantee you, you were not the target audience. fat kinksters should not have to sanitize themselves for your comfort. yet again, this echoes 'no kink at pride' sentiment to me. you can just think 'ew' to yourself and move on.
I want you to interrogate what's going on here, beyond your emotional reaction. it's okay to not like something, but being disgusted by it doesn't make it inherently immoral. seriously, what's so wrong about eating a cake on all fours? this is happening behind closed doors between consenting individuals. who is that hurting? does it make you uncomfortable because that's something fat people aren't "supposed" to do? isn't that the point of it? isn't fat liberation about fat people having the autonomy to do what they want with their bodies? and lastly, what gives you the authority to police other people's sexualities?
once again, fat pleasure is fat liberation <3
quick are you mythologizing sex again? are you making it seem like a special category of human behavior rather than just a thing people do? are you forgetting that it can be silly or fun or simply pedestrian? are you forgetting that it requires conversation and negotiation just like every other human activity that involves other people?
and on that note, “kink” vs “vanilla” is a dichotomy of its own
what is considered sexually “normal” is largely driven by structures of power and what that power deems desirable
trans women are only a kink because attraction to trans women is not seen as normal and healthy
“femdom” is only a kink because women having power in sexual interactions is not seen as normal and healthy
fat is only a kink because seeing fat people as attractive is not seen as normal or healthy
outside of sexual contexts, people whose identities are fetishized/kinkified are often denied sexual agency themselves. it’s difficult or impossible to find erotic media that centers them and their wants and needs.
desiring these people sexually is painted through the kink/vanilla dyad as transgressive and deviant, which has a double knock on effect of
A) repelling people who do not wish to be associated with sexual deviance,
and
B) attracting people who see the taboo of kink as a safe place to engage in abuse without being held accountable
essentially, this leaves sexually marginalized people at greater vulnerability for sexual abuse.
Since they don’t teach gay sex ed in school let me tell gay guys and anyone else that wants to use the back door that douching is bad for you. It will cause long term problems.
Also starving yourself all day will not work because sometimes it can take up to two or three days for something to move through you.
Just eat a bunch of fiber and use the bathroom at least an hour or two before your booty call if you can. If you hate eating fiber just get yourself some fiber pills to take with meals. If you eat enough fiber the section after the colon should remain relatively clean on its own. Just wash the outside part. Not your insides. Those clean themselves.
Also if he shames you for anything that happens by accident in the bedroom and/or refuses to use a condom he’s a jerk-wad and an idiot and you should dump him.
Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?
Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:
“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”
(TW: Sex, genitalia mention)
My dear lgbt+ kids,
Sex isn't supposed to hurt. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
That includes all kinds of penetration: vaginal, anal, with a penis, finger or toy. "Entry pain" with penetration isn't normal and neither is pain during or after sex.
There are sadly still people out there who tell vagina-owners that it's normal to feel uncomfortable during sex, that penetrative sex isn't supposed to be enjoyable for you, only for your partner, or that you need to bear the pain (either for your partner's sake or "until you loosen up" - which is not how the vagina works!).
The idea that “you are born tight and need to be loosened up by a penis” (and that you therefore need to lie down and take the pain until you are loose enough) is a complete myth. It is easily debunked by basic biology: your vagina is a muscular canal. That means its tissue is elastic! It can stretch when it needs to, and then it bounces back (just think about childbirth! It can stretch to fit a whole baby) - and it can do that because that’s how muscles work, it doesn’t need some magic penis to come along and teach it to do that. It’s actually a pretty sexist idea that you’d need that!
Pain isn't (and shouldn't be!) a normal, regular part of sex. If penetration hurts, it's a sign something is wrong. It's a good idea to talk to a medical professional who can help you pinpoint the exact reason.
Here are a few common causes:
Not enough lubrication. This means you are not "wet" enough. The vagina self-lubricates when aroused, the anus doesn't. So, for vaginal sex it can help to just include more foreplay to make sure you are really aroused and ready to go! Foreplay can be anything that feels good and gets you in the mood. Additionally you can use lube (this is a kind of gel or cream specifically made to reduce friction during sexual activity which are safe to apply to genitalia - please do not try to use face cream, shampoo or anything like that. If it is not made to be used vaginally, it can really irritate your skin and make the problem worse!). For anal penetration, you always need to use lube.
Certain medications (like antidepressants, birth control pills or high blood pressure pills) can decrease lubrication as a side effect. If you suspect this plays a role, please do not discontinue your meds without your doctor's approval. Ask them for advice, maybe you can switch to a different brand or dosage. Lube can also be helpful in those cases.
Urinary tract infections can cause a burning sensation during or after sex. Talk to your doctor, you may need antibiotics or other medication to treat your UTI.
Skin problems in your genital area (like eczema) can cause pain during sex. If your skin looks red or feels itchy, raw or swollen, talk to your gynecologist.
Vaginismus causes involuntary spasms of the vaginal muscles. This may be the case if you can't insert anything at all (not even tampons) without experiencing severe pain. Talk to your gynecologist. (They usually do not need to perform an internal exam to diagnose vaginismus, if you are worried about the exam being too painful). Treatment can include physical therapy (such as pelvic floor exercises) and psychological therapy.
Depression, anxiety, high levels of stress or past traumatic sexual experiences can also contribute to pain during sex. This does not mean “The pain isn’t real, it’s all in your head”! Emotional health and physical health are interlinked. For example, depression can make it harder to feel aroused (and therefore lubricated).
This is not an exhaustive list. There are other temporary situations, chronic conditions and acute illnesses that can make sex painful - if you are unsure or worried, it’s always best to consult a gynecologist.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
genuinely so fucking tired of people leveraging the "groomer" argument against people who support sex ed because scientific literature over decades shows that comprehensive sex education starting around kindergarten actually prevents children from being sexually abused and groomed because it teaches children the correct words for their body parts and also teaches them concepts of privacy, personal space, bodily autonomy, the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and the fact that sex is something that only adults do. children with this knowledge are not only better equipped to identify abuse and predatory behavior and communicate that its happening to a trusted adult, but also prevent it from happening in the first place by recognizing when something is happening that shouldn't.
sex education does not sexualize children, it prevents children from being sexualized. anyone who is against early foundational sex education and claims they are doing it to protect children is a fucking liar.
Me: Thinking netflix will fuck Eric and Adam relationship, because I can't trust the Bullying to lovers au
Netflix: Excels at making a healthy Bullying to lovers au, and then fucks their relationship up
Me:
@its-naemi-mfs WHY WOULD YOU REMIND ME OF THAT?????? (also, great that we just didn't have sex ed apart from that... How did that never come up?)
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
we had no sex ed at my catholic grade school and you bet there were a couple years when all the ignorant cisgender girls were freaking out we’d get pregnant by immaculate conception
genuinely so fucking tired of people leveraging the "groomer" argument against people who support sex ed because scientific literature over decades shows that comprehensive sex education starting around kindergarten actually prevents children from being sexually abused and groomed because it teaches children the correct words for their body parts and also teaches them concepts of privacy, personal space, bodily autonomy, the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and the fact that sex is something that only adults do. children with this knowledge are not only better equipped to identify abuse and predatory behavior and communicate that its happening to a trusted adult, but also prevent it from happening in the first place by recognizing when something is happening that shouldn't.
sex education does not sexualize children, it prevents children from being sexualized. anyone who is against early foundational sex education and claims they are doing it to protect children is a fucking liar.
And 10 seconds later Frosty flew away from embarrassment
This suggestion was from scootieloo-answers who wanted 'if frost was a teacher teaching sex ed'
So yeah, Frostfall could never be a teacher, he'd just mess everything up and no one would learn anything :P
Anyway thanks for the suggestion, hope you like it
Since they don’t teach gay sex ed in school let me tell gay guys and anyone else that wants to use the back door that douching is bad for you. It will cause long term problems.
Also starving yourself all day will not work because sometimes it can take up to two or three days for something to move through you.
Just eat a bunch of fiber and use the bathroom at least an hour or two before your booty call if you can. If you hate eating fiber just get yourself some fiber pills to take with meals. If you eat enough fiber the section after the colon should remain relatively clean on its own. Just wash the outside part. Not your insides. Those clean themselves.
Also if he shames you for anything that happens by accident in the bedroom and/or refuses to use a condom he’s a jerk-wad and an idiot and you should dump him.
Shit No One Told Me About My Period
I knew the basics before I got it, but I had no clue…
* The blood wouldn’t necessarily be red. When I first got my period, I spent a few min looking at my underwear wondering how I shit myself. I didn’t know the blood could look brown, or be thick.
* That tampons weren’t a good idea yet. I was 10 or 11 when I got my first period and physically smaller than an adult woman. My first attempt at inserting a tampon was very painful and unsuccessful. I wouldn’t use them until I was around 14 or so.
* That when you use pads the blood can get on your bottom and I’d have to occasionally clean off the toilet seat after using it.
* That getting your first period DOES NOT mean you’re fully developed and fully able to bear children. I could have technically gotten pregnant at that age, but I was still a child and pregnancy would have put my life in danger because I was still physically immature.
* That it wouldn’t be regular for another few years.
* That very painful cramping is NOT NORMAL once you reach your 20s and is cause for concern.
* That the blood and tissue you pass can look chunky or stringy and not like blood from a cut.
* That stress can halt your period for months BUT
* That doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant
Feel free to add your own