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They are a little breathless as they speak.
“Please, don't leave like this.”
Rage simmers in a pot of tears in my lungs.
“Stop!” I mean it to come out commanding but instead, my voice cracks and it comes out a rasp.
They've paused a few feet away from me.
“Stop. okay? Just...do me a favour. Pretend like this never happened. Not tonight, not last night or the night before. You’ll go home and keep living your life the way you did before you came here. And I’ll go home too.” I swallow hard.
“I’ll go home and live my life the way I did before I came here.” I try and fight tears to speak clearly.
“A-and we’ll both keep living as though we never met someone in a kitchen in Paris and--” I'm falling apart at the seams.
“You know we can't do that,” Jun rasps and takes a few small steps forward.
“We both know that can’t happen. I-I can’t go home and forget. Adam--”
“Stop,” I angrily wipe my eyes.
“You don't get to say that.” the tears are spilling out all over again. It seems like I never run out of them.
“You don't get to tell me that you can’t help me and that I have to go back home to them and then that you can’t forget me, you-you-- JUST CAN’T!” I'm sobbing now.
Another few small steps forward as they speak their voice softens a little.
“I never said I couldn't help you, Adam. I just can't help all of them. I can’t. It's not possible, you have to try and understand that. And--and try and understand that I don't know any one of them. But--Adam I know you. And God damn me for saying this but I’d choose you. I’d choose you over all of them. Those hundred men. Overall those women and their political titles. I’d choose you over all of them.”
This only makes me cry harder and yet Jun continues until they're there in front of me, hand brushing the tears away.
“Let me help you.”
Leaving France ~ Excerpt From A Woman’s World
My thoughts while reading The Folk of The Air ♡ supported by my lovely reader freinds:
((the queen of nothing spoilers: when Taryn is explaining how and why she killed locke))
PSA: Mortal queens of faerieland like to wear their boyfreind's husband's hoodies too ♡
I finished they both died at the end last night.
Now that we're all on the same page and understand the level of my emotional trauma :)
There was a moment, when we read from the perspective of Andrea Donahue (Chapter 14) early on in the book, and in this chapter she is talking about how she rushed through her names today and hopes she dosen't get audited and have her calls reviewed tonight. And God knows, I spent the rest of the book thinking she had made a mistake. That Mateo Torez was not going to die because some lady who hated her job, didn't care enough to make sure she did it right. That Rufus was going to show him how to break out and the importance of living and Rufus would die but Mateo would live on for both of them--
Of course, it was never hinted at again and my hope wavered but it was always there. And yet, when it happened-- or rather didn't? Good God, it hurt like hell.
literally my mom and grandma...
"stop crying it's just a book" i'm gonna fucking kill you