Source: Parks And Rec - Tumblr Posts
Estrid: You're back! I'm so happy.
Alrik: You don't look happy.
Estrid: I don't smile a whole lot and lately when I do it, it hurts. But trust me, I'm happy.
Peter: You had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing…
Scott: We’re married…
Peter: …Still…
Scott: Alright, listen up you little shits.
Peter: Not you, Kurt. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled that you’re here.
Scott: Also, from now on we’ll be using code names. You can address me as ‘Eagle One.’
Scott: Jean is ‘Been there done that.’
Scott: Pietro is ‘Currently doing that.’
Scott: Kurt is ‘It happened once in a dream.’
Scott: Jubilee is ‘If I had to pick a gal.’
Scott: Ororo is… ‘Eagle two.’
Ororo: Oh, thank god.
Cassian: From now on we’ll be using code names. You can address me as eagle one.
Cassian: Mor, code name ‘been there, done that’ Nes is ‘currently doing that’ Feyre is ‘It happened once in a dream’ Rhys, code name ‘if I had to pick a dude’ Amren is ‘Eagle two’
Amren: oh thank god
Cassian: Az is ‘I’d be lying if I said I thought thought about it’
IC: *NODS HEADS*
Nina: Time is money; Money is power; Power is waffle; Waffle is knowledge.
Aelin during KOA: If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.
Feyre in ACOMAF: I’m fine. It’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.
Lysandra: That shirt looks great, Rowan.
Rowan: Thanks.
Lysandra: But I bet it would look even better on Aelin's floor.
Aelin: Are you hitting on Rowan... for me?
Marinette: Who broke it?
Marinette: I’m not mad, I just wanna know.
Adrien: I did. I broke it.
Marinette: No you didn’t. Alix?
Alix: Don’t look at me, look at Nathaniel.
Nathaniel: What? I didn’t break it.
Alix: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
Nathaniel: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken
Alya: If it matters, and it probably doesn’t, Chloe was the last person to use it.
Chloe: Liar, I don’t even drink that crap!
Alya: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Chloe: I use the wooden stirers to push back my cuticles everyone knows that, Alya.
Adrien: Alright, let’s not fight. I broke it let me pay for it.
Marinette: No. Who broke it?
Nathaniel: Marinette? Marc has been awfully quiet.
Marc: Really?!
Nathaniel: Yeah really!
Everyone: *starts yelling*
Marinette: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it.
Everyone: *gathered in the kitchen with Foretellers & Luxu sat at the table and the MoM standing beside a broken coffee maker*
Master of Masters: So. Who broke it?
Everyone: ...
Master of Masters: I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Ava: ...I did, I broke it--!
Master of Masters: No. No, you didn't. Gula?
Gula: Don't look at me...look at Aced.
Aced: What? I didn't break it.
Gula: Huh, that's funny. How'd you even know it was broken?
Aced: Uh, because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
Gula: Suspicious.
Aced: No, it's not--!
Ira: If it matters, probably not, but...Invi was the last one to use it.
Invi: *gasp* Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Ira: Oh, really, then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Invi: I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Ira!
Ava: Alright, alright, let's not fight, it's my fault, let me pay for it, Master.
Master of Masters: NO! Who broke it?!
Everyone: ...
Gula: ...Master...Luxu's been awfully quiet--
Luxu: REALLY?!
Gula: Yeah, really!
Everyone: *starts arguing loudly*
Later...
Master of Masters: *standing in the hallway with their argument still being heard a floor away* I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it.
League of Villains: *all strewn across the floor, various tables and chairs*
Shigaraki: *stumbles in, pale and sweaty* Hey, guys...I'm dying.
Dabi: I was dying earlier. Then I died. Now I'm dead.
Twice: *sobs* I'm miserable!
Toga: Twice isn't even contradicting himself...
Shigaraki: *slides down against the wall onto the floor, clutching his stomach*
Spinner: What is this...?
Kurogiri: *stiffly walks in, leaning against the doorframe*
Kurogiri: It's food poisoning. I have it, too. I did not sleep for one second last night. And I vomited no less than seven times.
L.O.V.: *all groan*
Hawks: Oh, God, don't say that...
Shigaraki: Has anybody talked to Compress?
Spinner: Oh, I can't even imagine what that stick is going through...
Dabi: I have vomited more than Mister's body weight in the last twelve hours alone...he may have just disappeared off the face of the Earth!
Toga: *trying to get up* We need to call him, we must reach out to him!
Toga: *falls onto her face, whimpering* I can't...I can't do it.
Kurogiri: *stands up with a groan of pain and exertion, stiffly walks over to the landline*
Kurogiri: *swings his arm, knocking the phone onto the floor before slumping down against the bar*
Kurogiri: Twice, Extension 7820.
Twice: *rolls over to the phone, slowly starts tapping the numbers in with his nose*
Some time later...
Mr. Compress: *saunters into the bar, humming cheerfully*
Mr. Compress: *sees the state of the League* Woah! It smells like vomit died in here! What happened?
Kurogiri: We got food poisoning, Compress. How do you not have food poisoning...?
Spinner: Because he didn't eat anything.
Shigaraki: He just kept taking pictures and talking about the "wow" factor.
Mr. Compress: Not true, I ate everything you all did.
Kurogiri: Think, Atsuhiro. Was there anything you didn't eat?
Mr. Compress: Oh, yes! Those stupid chicken fingers Hawks brought! They're not a proper dinner food at all!
Hawks: *shocked* The chicken...betrayed me?
Hawks: *looks to the League* Never again, guys. As God as my witness, they are dead to me.
Mr. Compress: Alright, well, I feel great, so I'm going to eat some sushi and then get you all some fluids. I bid you adieu!
L.O.V.: *all groan in misery*
When going to find Hailstorm
Winter: Someone will die.
Kinkajou: Of fun!
Clay: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.
Clay: Wait. I worry what you just heard was, “Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.”
Clay: What I said was, “Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.”
Winter: *bops Qibli on the head* Boop! That’s me hitting your snooze button. Don’t talk for another ten minutes.
Tsunami: *To the Jade winglet* Just stick to the list and you’ll do great. I have total faith in you.
Tsunami: *Later, to Starflight* There’s like a 30% chance they’ll all die.
Sundew: I like saying no. It lowers their enthusiasm.
Qibli: Thank you for agreeing to see me.
Thorn: I didn't. You just walked in and started taking.
Qibli: I don't have time for a history lesson.
Sunny, holding ice to Clay's head: okay, what day is it?
Clay: I don't know.
Glory: but to be fair, you never know.
Clay: that's kinda true, I'm super bad at days.
Was never super into the reverse falls au, don’t know all the details, and not interested
But I always imagined the gleeful twins being exactly like the Saperstein Twins from Parks and Rec
