Soukoku Incorrect - Tumblr Posts

y’all i have a soukoku hc-

SO CHUUYA SPENDS THREE CHRISTMASES WITH DAZAI

And they never go out because I said so

But Dazai gets a tree and tinsel and stuff to tease Chuuya but he secretly wants Chuuya to experience Christmas probably for the first time ever

But he uses tinsel as a noose ykwim??

And then after Dazai leaves and Chuuya goes to a normal Christmas party 

And he sees Elise hang up tinsel and he’s like: ELISE WHY WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO COMMIT SUICIDE ON A HOLIDAY??

Elise: ...??? its decorations???

Chuuya: huh... is that not a fancy rope to hang yourself with-

Kouyou: damn it who thought it was a good idea to let Chuuya live with Dazai

Mori: *shit eating grin*

Dazai: Chuuya I'll finally admit it, okay! I like you~

Chuuya: *breathes*

Dazai: Is that a no-

Chuuya losing braincells: Shitty Dazai, we are already married and it's 3 am. FUCKING GO TO SLEEP, ASSHOLE

Another random incorrect because why tf not

-

Dazai after lots of planning: Nakahara Chibi, I've given this a lot of thought and I think I really like you so will you please date me or something

Chuuya blinking: What.

Dazai: Fuck this, forget I said anything

Chuuya, very confused: No- Shitty Dazai, wait damnit. What do you mean date?? We're already married??

Dazai: Wait what. We are???

Chuuya getting upset: We aren't????

Dazai: Uhhh of course we are

Chuuya: ... I'm too sober for this

Headcanon/incorrect based on this art,, idk who it's by :(

Dazai on the phone to Chuuya: CHIBI YOUR CHILD IS FLYING EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE

Chuuya: HA? That's our child, you fucker. Just nullify it.

Dazai: I CAN'T KEEP TOUCHING HIM CONSTANTLY?? What if I need to pee and then when I come back from the bathroom I see that our appartment is destroyed??

Chuuya being so done: .....

Dazai: Your child is a biohazard.

Chuuya: Teme, that's our child?! Just put him to sleep

Dazai: ...

Dazai: Oh- I forgot that was a thing

Chuuya snorting: And this is the man who has been dubbed as the genius Demon Prodigy

Soukoku but it's the "I wanna ruin our friendship" lyric trend; and it's a real life conversation

Dazai: Chuuya darling, you're my best friend

Chuuya: Fucker you literally hate me, what

Dazai *shushes him*: But there's a few things that you don't know of

Chuuya: Okay?

Dazai: Why I borrow your lipstick so often

Chuuya: Asshole, you used my Chanel chapstick???

Dazai: I'm using your shirt as a pillowcase

Chuuya: Dazai that's literally a Gucci shirt u took,, wtf give it back

Dazai very seriously: I wanna ruin our friendship

Chuuya confused screaming: We aren't even friends- Are u high??

Dazai: We should be lovers instead!!

Chuuya: .....

Chuuya: .....

Dazai: ....?

Chuuya: Shitty Dazai, we're literally married-

The day before Valentine's Day;

Dazai: Chuuya~ do you have a gift for me for valentine's day?

Chuuya just trying to work: Hm no. Anything you want?

Dazai: Chuuya can I have your heart??

Chuuya: ...

Dazai: ...?

Chuuya: Oh my god shut up you are actually so embarrassing

Dazai grinning: I'll settle for crab soup then!

Another soukoku incorrect

Chuuya: And you know what!! I fucking hate you so much you piece of shit,, I hope you die. Actually!! I'm gonna fucking kill you myself and make sure it's in the most painful way possible and-

Dazai: *sneezes*

Chuuya, checking for fever: Hey are you okay? Goddamnit you haven't increased the thermostat, have you? How many times do I have to tell you?? It's starting to get colder! Come on let's go get-

Dazai smiling: Chuuya I'm fine-

Chuuya glaring: Nobody cares. Come on,, I'll make you chicken noodle soup

soukoku incorrect part ??

Dazai listening to 'where do broken hearts go' by one direction:

Dazai to Chuuya: ARE YOU LAYING BABY BY YOURSLEF? OR ARE YOU GIVING IT TO SOMEONE ELSE??

Chuuya: wtf u sleep in my bed 365 nights of the year- How would I ever-??

Dazai: oh right. i forgot. oopsie hehe

Chuuya: ...i hope u die

Dazai: MEAN CHIBI! Alexa play Mean by Taylor Swift-

Bringing back my very first hc with tags because i forgot the first time

y’all i have a soukoku hc-

SO CHUUYA SPENDS THREE CHRISTMASES WITH DAZAI

And they never go out because I said so

But Dazai gets a tree and tinsel and stuff to tease Chuuya but he secretly wants Chuuya to experience Christmas probably for the first time ever

But he uses tinsel as a noose ykwim??

And then after Dazai leaves and Chuuya goes to a normal Christmas party 

And he sees Elise hang up tinsel and he’s like: ELISE WHY WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO COMMIT SUICIDE ON A HOLIDAY??

Elise: …??? its decorations???

Chuuya: huh… is that not a fancy rope to hang yourself with-

Kouyou: damn it who thought it was a good idea to let Chuuya live with Dazai

Mori: *shit eating grin*

From Dazai to Chuuya, to annoy him during work hours

Hey Stephen (Taylor's Version) Parody??

Dazai: Atsushi-kun, use the word 'sugar' in a sentence

Atsushi: I need a sugar daddy? I mean I'm broke so-

Akutagawa: ....

Chuuya: ....

Dazai: Uwah!! My child is all grown up; I'm so proud

Chuuya: Shut the fuck up you deadbeat dad, what the fuck have you been teaching our kid?!

Akutagawa: I don't know this family.

(Inspired by this thing my friend sent me)

Soukoku incorrect following this

That night, in the soukoku household

Dazai: Chibii, I think I took in another orphan today

Chuuya: Asshole! You better raise this one right then! I'm still here being a single parent to Akutagawa

Dazai ignoring that completely: Anyway, the kid's name is Atsushi. He has this white zig zag hair thing going on-

Chuuya: Wait did you meet this kid by the river? I think I saw him

Dazai: Yeah he fucking saved me from drowning

Chuuya: Oh him! Dont worry, I was cursing him for saving your sorry ass too

to hell and back

Don't go where I can't follow

Do you promise?

I do.

But could you follow me to hell?

Probably not, but I'd try till my dying breath.

And even if you're corrupt beyond repair,

I'd still bring you back every single day

here's how this picture went

Chuuya: Oi Dazai, cmere a second

Dazai: uwah? Is this the chibi's way of flirting?

Chuuya: Stfu, I'm trying to take a selfie

Dazai: What's a sel-

Chuuya: *takes the picture*

Dazai: *blinks* No- Give that back-

Chuuya: Nah, that's my new wallpaper bro

Soukoku on April's Fools

Dazai: Ne Chuuya, i have to tell you something.

Chuuya: Oh? What's up, asshole?

Dazai: So,, I have a crush on Fyodor

Chuuya: The Russian?

Dazai: The Russian.

Chuuya: Understandable. Have a good day.

Dazai: ??? How can u just not care, Chuuya!!

Chuuya: Happy April Fool's to you too, dumbass

...yeah this sucks sorry bye

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

I'll make this quick. I'm xxalwayssofia on ao3 and yk,, relationship reveal sofia? No? Maybe? Doesn't matter. Anyways, it has come to my attention that somebody was plagiarising my works, and I made an announcement about it.

Pretty please help spread it around and read it and all that,, okay thank you!

(using usual tags for max reach sorry <3)

Dazai: I miss Chuuya

Dazai; Like, I really miss Chuuya

Chuuya: The fuck? I'm literally right here

Dazai: I JUST MISS YOU SO MUCH

Chuuya: God damn, how many drinks have you had tonight.

Give in to your dark side, your dark side

I see the way you look at me, it feels right oh

Soukoku as a very recent conversation between me and a friend,, no taking names

Dazai: You know, I used to stay up till 4 am to talk to you

Chuuya: I'm touched, and I love you. But please sleep more???