Slight Vent - Tumblr Posts
Real footage of me twenty minutes after three break downs today
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                TW: slight vent
Yo we’re demonkin (specifically a demon pretending to be a fallen angel) and sometimes we’ll just be walking around and all of a sudden we’ll feel a weight missing from our back and wk our wings should be there but their not and we curse going into this foul human body.
 
So I was doing my math homework (watching a math video on YouTube), so then I was solving a problem by writing it down step by step on paper like the video said, when my mom was all, "The answer is 2." And I was like, "MOM I WAS DOING IT" and she was like "YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT FASTER" and my dad was all "[GEM] WAS DOING IT STEP BY STEP LIKE THE VIDEO SAID" and then my family went to war over homework This is why I hate homework :/
The story of the Trout brothers and Neon Fast
Neon belongs to @ewwwabug
 
Now I have something to talk about, if you read my profiles for the Trout brothers you would know that they both hate neon with a burning passion
If you haven’t then here:
 
                Vince hates Neon because he would make attempts to kidnap Aubrey and bring him back to the rbb base, he almost succeeded but the spirits of their sister petunia and parents rose from the dead and said “Oh Hell no”. Already lost his sister and his parents and he won’t lose her because of him.
And as for Aubrey . . . It’s complicated, it’s not just the fact he is getting targeted by Neon, but way more.
You see I haven’t fully came up with the idea of the deeper meaning of hatred for Neon, I do apologize. I can tell you that Aubrey knew Neon for a long time.
I did have one but I decided not to type it because I have to admit, I can get insecure when writing, I know it’s silly because, I want to entertain and share ideas, I know not everyone is going to like it but yeah.
Anyways on topic, I came up with an idea to let you guys get creative and use your imagination as a nice fun activity, to think of why and if you want you can share it in the comments. bye bye 👋😊
 
Some coping pieces of Maui
 
 
im going to start throwing a tantrum like a little kid why does no one listen to me whenever i speak or try to express myself
TW: some dark themes i want to write nagito komaeda (pls im not trying to be cringy cause oOOH anTAgoNiST, i wen tthrough that with kokichi already)
but i have zero idea what about
ive never done free time events besides in dr3 (cause thats the one dr game i own) because i think u do them all in the dating minigame??? i say that cause i did do like one and so the love meter bar was up +1 and stuff
but i watched a vid which is a retrospective over dr2
and how he views life as 'the more bad there is, the greater his luck gets'
ex: kidnapped in middle school, but the place said kidnapper puts him at has a winning lottery ticket of like 500 mil
ive been reading a bunch of stuff where [character fully believes theyre in the right] when they arent, but genuinely dont know whats wrong with it
i mean considering his parents died at a young age (which was the 'good' part of his luck...) id imagine hes a little desensitized to that
just tf do i write about
ive written dr3. kokichi in particular, being angsty stuff that was just me venting
i treated it a little lightly though. like 'oh, all my friends kinda want to kermit sewer slide and have bad home situations and vent and hurt and so on' its not that bad
add on the fact that theres 'trends' about depressed ppl in a fandom most of them including me are in, not to mention some bashing on said ppl that just gives the msg 'oh. youre just faking it. youre an attention seeker. stop it.'
which in fear of being lashed out at, you say nothing (also the stereotypical s/h of cutting on the wrist?? dude i felt like such a faker when i couldnt bring myself to do such a thing)
but that shouldnt mean my experiences are invalidated? certainly didnt stop me from actually trying to commit
basically.. i think maybe i can.. vent in a sense. having the reality break by other ppl who misunderstand you
in this confusion you 'mask' yourself, unsure of how to act besides the suffocating guilt
the thing is though is that i dont usually return to fandoms ive written before cause that means i usually abandon it for something else
i mean ive tried writing undertale stuff again but i didnt get that far cause motivation
aggh..
i feel like a lot of the fandom has misunderstood nagito in a way.
goddammit who else have i misunderstood bc i skipped free time ev
also no one told me nagito has dementia whatthefuck--
And somehow even after all these months I’m still mourning and holding my hand out to hopefully feel her warmth and love again
The Blame I Take
I take blame that isn’t meant for me.
It hurts to do,
But if I don’t take it then who will?
If no one admits to their wrong,
Then it is my job,
Because somehow,
In someway
I am always the catalyst.
Anytime I come along,
Something that had once been buried
Comes to the surface again.
Maybe I am simply bad luck.
Maybe things would be better if I wasn’t here.
Which is why I take the blame,
Even when I am tired,
Even when it hurts me,
Even when it leaves behind scars,
I will always take the blame,
Because if I don’t
I fear they might leave,
And to me,
That is worse than any kind of blame I give myself.
The Words You Can't Say
When you have so much you want to say
But don’t have the breath or words to explain it
So instead you simply let it still inside of you
Until it becomes too much to bear
And suddenly everything is too late
And your lungs feel like they are closing up
But all you can do is sit there
In the silence you created
All because you are afraid to be true.
I love having my phone on dark mode until I click on something that is blindingly white and my brightness is high enough to make me feel pain for a second.
It’s just such a fun experience when I google stuff all the time and then am blinded by the website’s need to have a painfully bright display.
I mistook powdered creamer for coffee grounds today and didn't realize until hours after I got home, I'm so mad at myself.
tw: vent
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i wish i had found this side of pinterest instead of a side that constantly told me to off myself (which resulted more in my self-loathing), maybe then would i appreciate my efforts of trying to help myself everytime.
and glitches, if youre reading this, sorry, i just needed to vent shsnsjsj
 
 
 
 
looks at my oc x canon/selfship stuff
am i delusional or am i overthinking again?
sorry for being so depressed, it will happen again
I have returned from youtube.com
Hi guys it’s me, visitor
(I guess this is like 5% a vent, but idk)
I have given up on youtube and decided that I’ll stay on tumblr and try to be more online on it instead.
because I don’t like youtube anymore, and it appears to not like me either, so I’m done with it.
I’ve been wanting to make a lot of cool videos for the world to see, but I guess the world doesn’t want to see them.
I haven’t been getting a lot of views.
My stock has crashed, and I am homeless.
So im done with youtube, because I know that if I stay on there then it’s just gonna stress me out more.
I still want to make video content, but I just don’t know where to start (again)
I’ve been thinking about just continuing to use my original account, but idk.
And I’ve been thinking about making a new account, but I’ve done that too many times already, but idk.
But, now that I’m back on tumblr… I’ve just now thought about just making video content on here, but idk if that’ll work, although, I have uploaded videos onto here before, and they did well, so idrk.
So I’m kinda just stuck rn, but I will continue to post on tumblr from now on, but I might disappear for a million years every now and then.
But I’m also working on having a Pinterest :0
I already have the account set up, but I haven’t really posted anything on there yet, so I won’t even bother linking it.
Maybe later or some other day.
Anyways, I’ve also been thinking about setting up some kind of about me thing here, I’ll do that probably soon or possibly several months later lol
That’s all I have to say, thanks for reading and idk what else to say :)
 
 
 
 
 
Sometimes I get sad thoughts like, "I'm not here to entertain you" and then I end up drawing stuff like this to get over it
Requests might be put out a little slower this time, I just went through a lot and had my world flipped upside down then right side up again. I hope you all understand. I look forward to getting them done soon <+)
