Rwby Whiteknight - Tumblr Posts

Vanish

(before this even begins I am sorry. I have not watched volumes 5-9 so I am just gonna try my best and not accidentally cause a fuck up. And I am very sorry but I am terrible at characterization so don't be surprised if you're going to face palm. Now then I hope this won't be hot garbage anyway enjoy.. hopefully)

Jaunes breath was shallow as he, ren, Nora, and team rwby stood infront of cinder who sat on top of a Grimms corpse. Her gaze locked on ruby as she grinned.

Cinder: finally. I figured you would never show.

Her eye glowed as wind surrounded her. She stood and began floating in the air.

Cinder:I'm afraid I won't be letting you through. Now ruby be a dear and fight me. I still want to pluck out one those eyes you have.

Ruby reached for crescent rose before jaune stepped forward and grabbed ruby's shoulder.

Jaunes: ruby we don't have time to fight her. You need to get to Salem. I'll stall her.

Ruby looked at him confused before looking at cinder.

Jaune: ruby just get going. I can manage her.

Jaune smiled softly as Ruby sighed and grabbed his hand. Her staring at him.

Ruby: you Better be careful VB. I promised your sister I get you home.

Ruby let go as jaune removed his hand from her shoulder before stepping in front.

Jaune: hey ren, Nora. I got one last thing for you.

Jaune stared at the two as ren looked at him as he nodded. Jaune out stretched his hand as ren took it and the two shook hands.

Jaune: my last order is that you protect each other. And have a happy life together.

He and ren stopped the hand shake as Nora bear hugged him.

Nora:I'm gonna miss ya fearless leader. Good luck.

Jaune could feel his breath be squeezed out of him as Nora hugged him.

Jaune: Nora. can't. Breathe.

Nora: oh shit sorry.

She let go of him as the group proceeded to run towards the direction of Salem past cinder. Jaune took a deep breath as he took out crocea mors.

Jaune: Weiss.

Weiss turned and looked at him as he stared at her before a small blush crept on his face as he mouthed the words "I love you". Weiss smiled softly as she nodded before following the others. Jaune sighed as he began walking towards cinder.

Jaune: CINDER. I want a word with you.

Cinder stared at him as she scowled.

Cinder: you know me?

Jaune: ofcourse I know you. I'm a huntsmen. Our job it's to recognize and slaughter Grimm and other things and you are most definitely a thing.

Jaune pointed at her with his blade as cinder scoffed at him. Before she opened her hands as a obsidian saber formed.

Cinder: you must have guts of steal if you insult me. I wield the very season of fall. I am the fall maiden. I'm much more than a thing.

Jaune: no. Your only a thing. You may be a maiden but you don't do anything with that. All you do is plunder and destroy. Leaching off of others being a parasite.

Cinder:your just spewing insults. Get to the point.

Jaune: point is. Your a parasite.. we're parasites. It's time we vanish. To be forgotten by history and erase all the stains we left. It's time for us to go.

Cinder chuckled as she floated to the ground saber at the ready.

Cinder: and who's gonna make me go? You? With your pathetic sword and your mediocre semblance. Your going to die the same way that Nikos woman died. Peirced In the heart.

Jaune then ran towards her as she grinned and in a split moment their blade's clashed as jaune stared daggers at her before cinder raised her grimm arm and grabbed jaune by the face and began slamming him into the ground over and over again.

Jaune managed to stop himself from being slammed again as he slashed towards at cinders arm cutting it off. Cinder stepped as she roared in pain as she stared at her missing her before it regenerated as jaune got up and readied his sword and shield.

Cinder growled lowly as she shoved her sword into her Grimm arm as it absorbed it as it transformed into a massive bone cleaver. She immediately sliced for his head as he managed to raise his shield blocking the strike not noticing cinder shove her normal arm into his gut before summoning a gust of wind sending him backwards.

Jaune caught himself as cinder raised her grimm arm as grew in size before she slashed down as jaune rolled away as he got up panting.

Jaune then ran straight towards her slamming into her with his shield as he raised his sword and brought it down on cinder leaving a cut across cinders face before sent him fly with another gust of wind.

Jaune was sent good distance until he hit the ground HARD as he felt something crack as the wind was knocked out of him.

Jaune: ugh... and there goes my pelvis

He then saw cinder hunched over clutching her face as blood started to flow out.

Cinder: my.. my face.. my beautiful face... Your gonna be burned to ashes for that boy!

Cinder glared at him as flames as surrounded her. Jaune stood up and readied himself as suddenly cinders grim arm now in it s claw for shot at him through the flames as he blocked it with his shield before it grabbed the shield as he was pulled towards the flames. Jaune immediately released the shield as he landed and watched as his shield was incinerated by the flames. The a wave of fire was shot at him as he dived away from it. Jaune breathed a sigh of relief before cinder appeared infront of him, her eyes filled with infernal hatred as she immediately socked him in the sending him only for the grimm arm to stretch out to grab him before pulling him back before she threw him into the floor knocking the wind out of him as specs of blood escaped his mouth.

Cinder immediately started landing blow after blow on his face as jaune could due nothing but take the hits. Cinder kept punching before eventually stoping as she floated into the air as flames engulfed her grimm arm as it transformed into the gigantic cleaver.

Jaune tried to move but his body ached as cinder raised her cleaver arm as she started laughing.

Cinder:Your a stupid boy. You fought for your friends and you die. For. NOTHING!

She then brought down the cleaver as it seems to be the end. Jaune closed his eyes as he accepted he's.. he really was useless... Damnit.

But as jaune expected his flaming death nothing came but instead a cool breeze hit his face. He opened his eyes to see a dome of ice protecting him as he saw a large pair of glowing white wings flap as he saw her... The ice queen. Weiss schnee.

Weiss: by the gods you are hopeless arc. Just stay there as I put this mad bitch down.

She pointed her rapier myrtenaster towards cinder as the woman started at her as she removed her cleaver arm as it transformed back to its normal state. Cinder grabbed the corpse of the large Grimm as her arm started to absorb it as cinder was engulfed in flames

Weiss spun the revolver of myrtenaster until it landed on the red chamber as flames engulfed the blade.

Weiss: this is going to be so cathartic.

Cinder then ran at her with her grimm arm outstretched before Weiss stabs through the arms as fire erupted from it before Weiss spun the revolver until it landed of the blue chamber. Suddenly ice spread all over the arm as Weiss pulled away before kicking the arm as it SHATTERED with cinder screaming in pain as she was now left with only the nub of her old her arm.

Weiss: that arm was rather ugly and since your so obsessed with your appearance. I did a favor. No need to thank me.

Cinder stared at Weiss as she started roar in anger as winds Started picking along with flames surrounding as the heat immediately melted the ice dome jaune was protected by.

Cinder started floating as the heat dropped and so did the wind. Before cinder raised her only arm as fire, water, earth, air, and even lightning appeared and circling each other before turning into a sphere of pure energy.

Cinder:I AM THE FALL MAIDEN! I WILL NOT BE SLAIN BY CHILDREN.

The sphere was flying right towards the ground as Weiss and jaune went wide eyed. Weiss turned the revolver to the purple chamber before thrusting towards the spheres direction as the sphere stopped before being sent towards cinder as her eyes widened in fear as she could not escape as the sphere made contact with her and proceeded to ERUPT in a blast as Weiss turned to the blue chamber again and ran towards jaune as she formed a multi layered ice dome as the blast decimated. The entire field as the Dome was melt in the blast but managed to hold long enough for jaune and Weiss to survive.

Jaune stared out as everything on the battle field was gone.. just wiped in a blink of an eye. He breathed heavily before speaking in a Shakey voice.

Jaune: we.... We did it... We beat cinder ha.. HAHA!

jaune immediately hopped up ignoring the pain as threw his arms into the air as he shouted in victory.

Jaune: WOOHOO! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT CINDER?! I BEAT YOU! I... I... I didn't beat her.... Right.. you beat her Weiss.

Jaune turned to Weiss as he outstretched his hand.

Jaune:well done... You... You did one hell of a job.

Weiss smiled softly at him as she grabbed his hand and shook it.

Weiss: you atleast tried jaune. Now then.

Weiss immediately hugged him which caught jaune way off guard.

Weiss:never be that stupid again. Atleast ask Ren and Nora to help.

jaune chuckled awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Jaune: sorry.. I just wanted to make sure you all had as much back up as possible. I mean otherwise ruby would be toast

Jaune sat down as he groaned in pain.

Jaune: gods I'm gonna be on wheels for Abit.

Weiss: let me guess you got curb stomped.

Jaune noded as Weiss sighed before sitting on his lap.

Weiss: so. Now that, that's dealt with. I wanna talk for Abit.

Jaune: about what? You finally filing a restraining order.

Jaune laughed Abit as Weiss looked at him not amused. Jaune looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck before Weiss grabs his chin.

Weiss: let's get this clear dolt. For the past year you have made attempts to court me. All which may I add failed. But then this war came and ended the courting for obvious reasons.

Jaune: yeah. Man I was a dumbass maybe whenever I start trying to get a girlfriend again you can help me out by letting me know if I'm just not catching a hint.

Weiss sighed before lightly slapping him.

Weiss:there won't be any of that jaune. Because I'm feeling generous... I wanna give us a chance.

Weiss looked at him in the eyes as a soft blush crept on his face again.

Jaune: you mean your actually.. agreeing to a date?

Weiss nodded as jaune did a mental back flip as his face was bright red as a huge dopey grin was only face. Jaune then shook his head snapping and to reality.

Jaune: um... Thank you. Alot

(Ok. Very sorry that I most likely accidentally fucked up the characterization. I just wanted to add something to here and this is the only thing I could think of because I Can not draw for SHIT. Anyway hope you all atleast got to laugh at how bad this probably is.) (Also if you got the reference comment 🦇)

So long arc

(au where rwby characters take the place of king Arthur characters. I am so sorry.)

Jaune felt the pirece of a blade as he saw Oscar his eyes a deep black with red pupils as his sword pierced jaunes chainmail armor. Jaune felt the blood trickle from his body as Oscar looked at him before smiling.

Oscar: Camelot falls oh king jaune. And I am the ruiner.

Jaune felt blade leave his body as he fell to the dirt as a woman appeared before him. Salem. She grabbed Oscar by the shoulders and the two vanished leaving jaune on the ground as hole made by sword was left in his abdomen. He felt his breath fading as a figure stood over him before kneeling down. The great wizard. Ozpin.

Ozpin: my king. You need to be taken to the ever after your wounds are too grievous in the mortal world-

Jaune: where is my wife... Where is Weiss.

Ozpin: she has been escorted to the ever after now please we must get you there now.

Jaune:no... My time has come and gone...Camelot... Is finished... Take my blade to the lake of Nikos.. she has been expecting it's return.

Ozpin looked at him before nodding as jaunes life left his eyes. Ozpin took a deep breath before picking up jaunes corpse and crocea mors. The war that raged was faded out as ozpin carried jaunes limp body to a small boat with a cloaked figure sitting inside. They removed their hood revealing themselves to be Glynda good witch one of the nine queens of the fay. Ozpin placed jaune onto the boat.

Ozpin: the king has passed. Please take him to his wife. So she may grieve.

Glynda:very well. I will accept my old friends request. Good bye ozpin.

Glynda began to ferry the boat across the sea as ozpin sighed. He clutched onto crocea mors as he stood and began walking into the forest.

Weiss sat upon to shoreline of the ever after with Ruby and Ren standing behind her keeping watch. Weiss looked out to the sea hoping.. praying to see the boat arrive.

Ren: my queen do not fear. the king will show soon. I'm certain of it.

Weiss looked at Ren with a fragment of regret in her eyes. Ruby looked around and saw a boat appear before pointing at it.

Ruby: ship ahead. It appears to be glynda's boat.

Weiss shot up as she saw the boat heading for the shore. Her eyes widen as she felt relief in her heart as soon the boat landed as Weiss saw jaune.. laying on the boat a sword wound in his abdomen. Weiss looked on in horror as Glynda picked up jaunes limp body.

Glynda: ozpin has requested I hand you to him so you may grieve.

Weiss ruby and Ren all stare in disbelief as jaunes lifeless body was held in the days arms. Weiss took jaune from the fay and sat up the sand as she gently held his head as tears began to drip from her eyes.

Weiss: I.. I wish to be alone.

Ren and ruby noded as them and Glynda left as Weiss began to cry as she clutched onto the golden locks of jaune. The tears hitting his skin as she covered her mouth.

Weiss:you... You absolute dolt.. you said you would survive.. you promised that we could spend the rest of our lives together.. and now look at you.. your gone.. and I could have stopped it...

The hugged him as she began to sob.

Weiss: I wish this never happened.. I wish you let me fight by you... But you stopped me... We could have lived.. but you.. you said you wanted me safe... You are such a dolt and... And I'll never get to do the things we did... Never feel the warm embrace.. never feel the joy of watching you spar with your knights as you all are in a drunken stupor.. I'll never get to have you.. because you wanted to be a true knight... Your a fool arc..

She pulled away as her eyes were Abit red.

Weiss: and I will still love you...

She planted a soft kiss upon him as she sat there. Alone with who was once the man she loved.

Back with ozpin he arrived at the lake his face a scowl as he lifted crocea mors.

Ozpin:lady of the lake.. your champion has fallen. As his final wish you are to receive the item of crocea mors.

The water rippled as a woman with red hair in a golden emerged. She raised her arms as ozpin released the sword as it floated to the woman.

Pyrrha: until the next king of Camelot arrives I will hold on to this. thank you ozpin.

The woman floated into the lake as ozpin sighed to himself. Before leaving and sitting by a tree.

He rest there for eternity.

(oh jeez this was not fun. Even if it's a lot shorter than vanish this took a while. Because one I have no idea if this idea already exists and of who I would put in place of the actual character. And of course I did go a tad bit off the story of Arthur. For instance all 9 queens of the Fay ferry him to Avalon, Avalon in this case is the ever after. I am so sorry this was probably very confusing and very bland. This idea just popped into my head so I decided to write it. If this is a thing I'm going to try and find the list of characters and who they take the place of. Because good Lord this was not fun.)

Law and order: special victims (featuring jaune arc!)

(this is joke for fun because duh. Please do not take this as my actual view of jaune or any character I might have pop up)

[DUH DUN]

We see nothing but darkness before jaune popped up out of nowhere as he wore a nice white suit.he adjusted his tie as he cleared his throat.

Jaune: hello there! I'm jaune arc professional lawyer for victims of "losing rights to their ass cheeks". Why am I in this position because I was victim aswell. You see for those who don't understand I am a part of a sub species of human called "submissiveus manass". My subspecies are men who don't mind either taking it from behind or just simply being beneath our significant others. But "ass" all species do. We have ourselves a predator. "Femalius fatalis" are a sub species of women who manage to pin men like me and get in our heads into essentially worshipping them and becoming a man wife. This is commonly shown by either the woman being more passively dominant in the less severe cases. Or grabbing their significant others ass cheeks and squeezing them. Now I'm here to tell you, you can finally take back your poor ass cheeks because now with the new constitution-

Ren: uh jaune... we have a bit of a problem?

Jaune: what's wrong Ren?

Pounding on a door is heard as jaunes face. Went. FUCKING. PALE.

Jaune: Ren we gotta hi-

The door busts open revealing-

(feel free to continue on with this)

So it's been a bit since I've wrote anything rwby shipping related.

what ships do you want me to cover

My very bad takes on rwby ships (the well known ones atleast. And yes most are jaune)

(i do not represent anyone except myself so do not judge others based on me because if you do. That's YOUR problem. Not the peoples you think I represent)

Hoi! I think its time I get crucified. Kidding obviously. This community isn't completely toxic, that much is obvious. Now let's get the obvious ones out the way

Bmblb.

Ok... time for the one I don't wanna touch because I don't have nice things to say.

Ok first. I don't mind this ship. Wanna get that out of the way because unlike most would assume. I don't hate or love this ship.

BUT. I got problems with how it was made fucking cannon. First off, fuck you rt and your "from the beeginning". I don't fuckin care how much you try to cover your incompetent asses. If the pants don't fuckin fit. Don't fuckin wear them!

Second. There was no real build up (you can argue there was. But it wasn't good. Anyone could have done a better job than rt). The only real thing that could "prove" this was planned was that yang "flirted" with Blake. Now you might be saying-

"oh but she explained her trauma to Blake that clearly means shes interested in her" in which. NO. Yes this moment is VERY good basis to build off these twos dynamic. And if rt kept building onto this by having yang slowly break down Blake's wall before eventually getting her to open up, I would be applauding rt for it, hell I would be a fan of it probably because for these two, it fuckin works! Blake clearly is alot more reserved and is rather prickly meanwhile yang is the rambunctious, ass-whooping, badass, and overall awesome ball of joy (sounds weird saying especially since yang is my favorite character). yet rt dropped the fuckin ball the moment sun showed up. Now I love sun and i enjoy black sun. But for the love of GOD if this shit is from the beginning than this clearly proves it was fucking not!

After volume three who did blake spend most of the time with in menagerie and rt was clearly trying to push? Not bmblb! BLACK-FUCKING-SUN. Let's give a round of applause to RT for making the dumbest decision of saying bmblb was planned from the start because bitch it was not.

And what did we get for yang. Oh only her trauma from one losing an arm and the fact she has PTSD from it. Oh yeah let's not forget the fact yang had ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Yet the moment her and Blake meet back up suddenly it doesn't fuckin matter because Weiss managed to somehow fix it by telling yang that Blake had suffered as well (i know that's not exactly what happened but point is I fuckin HATE the scene where Blake rejoins the team and yang is just "OK! I totally still don't have problems with the fact you left me and the team at both my and our teams lowest moment." Personally fuck you rt)

.....where was I again? Oh yeah rwby ships. So before I fuckin lose it at rt's incompetence at story telling, developing a romance and character building- let's move on to..... whiterose.... SON OF A BIT-

Whiterose

Look does the fact I don't care for BB and the fact I hate white rose with such a burning passion make me look like a misogynistic homophobic asshole a bad thing? Yes. But I just can't enjoy this damn ship because I just find it so FUCKING BORING!

I get it, it's "opposites attract". But I just don't care because this is so boring and basic that I can't even be glad a gay ship is actually popular instead of the same boring straight pairings.

I don't care if ruby could help Weiss be less of a bitch. Because that troop has been done to fucking DEATH.

There's not even the fact that it be a middle finger to Weisses dad because guess what he's already got his comupance and is also you know, FUCKIN DEAD. There's no satisfaction from any of this ship for me. Is it a bad ship? Fuck no we aren't even going to cover THAT!

But do I like this ship and hope it'll be cannon? No. And if it is? I won't care and I'm not even gonna celebrate it. You can take a fat piss on my grave before I say whiterose becoming cannon is the only option.

Now what ship is next- oh. Oh no. It's the ship everyone enjoys.

Arkos

Look I'm already gonna get fuckin crucified for my opinion of WR and BB. I don't feel like pissing off even MORE people!

... ok fine I'm saying my opinion.

I don't care for this ship. I don't care for pyrrha and I'm actively glad she is dead.

I won't even elaborate because this ship is dead and will gladly piss on its grave.

Rest in piss arkos. Overrated as fuck!

Next up is... rose garden. Finally a ship I dont mind supporting... but also... one thats gonna be hard to say

Rose garden

Look... their just fuckin cinnamon rolls and I love it!

"but you hated arkos yet both jaune and pyrrha were cinna-"

Uhp! No! None of your bullshit. But I will explain.

I don't care for arkos because I don't care for the fact pyrrha has no development. Not even a personality. She was always "the one girl that has feelings for jaune" which don't get me wrong, jaunes one of my favorite characters but I prefer the character he would be shipped with are actually characters and not... cardboard.

Now thankfully Oscar does not suffer the same fate. He's not infatuated with ruby, he is just a "kid" who just found a wizard stuck in his head and now he's off into a war he never knew about. He was timid (batshit terrified even) and yet when he sees the courage shown by the cast he slowly tries to be like them. with the moment between ruby and Oscar being a moment I fuckin love. Oscar is being honest and asking ruby why, why does she keep fighting? Keep marching into a unknown war that could very well kill her. And ruby simply answers by admitting she Is aware she might die, she even lost good people during the fall of beacon but she kept going because she wanted to be a huntress, she wanted to HELP people.

One of the many reasons I love rose garden is because these two fuckin dorks grow WITH each other instead of the simple "oh I'm the love interest of the main character I'm gonna be a cardboard cutout of the character I should be!".

I can't put it into proper words but I just love rose garden.

Whiteknight

Wait... are we actually talking about white knight and not another ship that I probably don't care about and get crucified because of them?

FUCK YEAH!

Gentlemen and ladies. I am proud to say I am whiteknight trash because damnit I love this ship.

I will say it now this ship is the shit that gives my Tumblr account LIFE. And like rose garden I can't even find words to describe how this ship makes me my brain go up with dopamine. This ship is just my favorite ship. Weiss and jaune have had so much buildup. Starting with jaune being a idiot and trying to flirt with a very much more cold Weiss (HA) To Weiss laughing at jaunes reaction to his voice after the high of depression that was V9! The little smile jaune had as he heard Weiss giggle. To the mother fuckin mature scene that has skyrocketed to memehood! I just love this ship because it is just everything I want out of a romance subplot!

Knightshade

Oh... oh we already at some.... unpopular ships.

Now this isn't exactly ship related as pyrrha was to arkos but I just don't like Blake, so you might be thinking "oh then you must hate knightshade". Well..

You.

Are.

WRONG!

I don't know why I like it I just like knightshade. It's cute, it's got enough crack to make it a crack ship, and the memes! The. Fuckin. MEMES.

God I love knightshade.

Knightfall

So... how do I say this?

I love this ship. Not joking I love this. I'd be peeved if this became cannon but as syndrome once said

"OH COME ON! YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL!" (Man was a salty man and died like a BITCH)

As to why?

The

Fuckin

ANGST!

I could write an entire fanfic of jaune and cinder fighting each other for days on end until jaune fucking loses but instead of killing him cinder just lets him live. To continue to fight as she gets some sick enjoyment from the attention.

That's all. (Also cinder please choke me with your thighs-)

[GLITCH HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.]

Alright I'll behave. No thirsting, now onto.... Lancaster.... you know I can't tell if I want to be killed or be celebrated as a fuckin gift because this list is bizarre as fu-

Lancaster

.... where do I begin?

Ok I should probably state this now. I love this fuckin ship despite how... cliche it really is. I want these two dorks to be fuckin happy but I just can't say whole hearted this is my otp. It's just not for me, I'm sorry. But as you all know I have written.. some.. Lancaster fanfics (I am absolute jaune shipper trash, you can Bury me before I say any jaune ship is terrible except THAT! Even arkos ain't bad just overrated!)

But... yes I like this ship that why I'm writing fanfics in the first place I like alot of jaune ships (despite how much I hate THAT!) Because we'll most female characters that I pair with jaune have atleast some form of interaction. (Except silent knight. I just like that one because I like the "small murderous and tall gentle" dynamic. But we aren't covering silent knight.)

Now thats all I could say for Lancaster but there's one more sister that I wanna talk about but first.

For runner up on this list. Drum roll please.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Thank you-

.....

Huh I guess that drummer wasn't as dumb-

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Ok fuck you, your fired!

Now for runner up on this list (mainly because I like it but I don't have much to say-)

Martial arcs

(ha bet y'all rat bastards weren't expecting me to list a gay ship that I liked.)

Now all I have to say is.

🎶let them be fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!~

OH YEAH!🎶

Now onto... my favorite one thats not white knight. The one, the only, the truest form of "what the fuck is glitch snorting"-

Dragon slayer

This is the one ship that has continued to be a ship I love dearly.

To me yang and jaune feel like they would be each other's wing(wo)man and would just be an ride to watch.

There wasn't even any evidence in why this ship could happen. But I still love it. Y'all can call it "just a write inserting themselves as jaune" but let me say this.

Dragon slayer is the Pinnacle of the most wholesome moments! Not even Lancaster can compare to the intimacy of this ship and yes! I AM TALKING OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STUPID SHIP AND AINT NO ONE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

....

Ok I think that's enough talking about Rwby ships for one Day because I've caused three things.

1) probably pissed off arkos, BB, and WR shipers.

2) weirded out quite literally everyone with my batshit insanity.

3) probably started a debate on what I mean when I say "THAT!"

Anyway have a great day/night/or what other time it is bitches, bros, and non-binary rat bastards

I'm off to get crucified because OH BOY did I probably poke the bear.

Moment of bliss

(so as much I'd like to make a whiteknight series I ain't the greatest when it comes to ideas, maybe I am just a Lancaster shipper at heart plus I'm batshit terrified of messing up characterization)

Regardless, enjoy rat bastards.

WARNING: mentions and showing of alcohol. If you got a problem with that skip this.

Also I am VERY bad at writing .

Jaune felt a lump in his throat as he was mentally shitting himself silly as he stood infront of a large apartment, the temporary home of one icy heiress or as she was actually named. Weiss schnee.

Jaune tried to calm himself down as he was thinking to himself.

Jaune: come on jaune, you were in a war with a immortal being surely a little date shouldn't be freaking you out.

Jaune: oh but what if I mess up and shes still holding a grudge against me for everything I did in beacon? Oh gods what if there's karaoke and she thinks I picked it because I wanted to sing-

"ENOUGH". That word rang through head as he took a deep breath and exhaled.

Jaune: get ahold of yourself. You got this. Just knock and ask her out. It's not like she's gonna freeze you as soon you ask. Hopefully not... Maybe..

Jaune raised his hand and was about to knock on the door before the door opened as one ice queen was standing in front of him as she frowned as she was on the scroll with someone.

Weiss: i keep telling you, I don't care if this could help with raising the SDC up, im not going to take that deal. Now please stop calling me.

Weiss hung up as she seemed pissed before finally noticing jaune.

Weiss: oh. Uh hello jaune, I was just coming out to get some air, what did you need?

Jaune just looked at her as he seemed a tad worried.

Jaune: business troubles?

Weiss just sighed before nodding as she put her scroll away.

Weiss: one of my father's old business partners are trying to stay a part of the board of executives and tried to suggest we partner with some rival company, galaw dust manufacturing I think was its name. Regardless, once again, what do you need?

Jaune: oh well I wanted to know if you wanted to hangout with me and ruby at the hall of huntsmen.

Jaune: liar. Just say the damn truth, don't wrap more of your friends up in the potential humiliation

Weiss looked at him before sighing. She looked away before shaking her head and redirecting her gaze.

Weiss: apologies jaune but I'll have to decline. I think I've had my fair share of ruby fangirling over the huntsmen and huntresses of old.

Jaune: oh. Ok well I'll see you around then.

Jaune turned and began walking away before Weiss spoke

Weiss: very well, and jaune. Your terrible at lying.

Jaune stopped in his tracks as his face went pale before looking at a smug Weiss.

Weiss: I've been around fake faces throughout my childhood, I can tell when someone lies to me. I have some coffee brewing if your interested.

Jaunes brain was still processing the fact that Weiss called out him on his very bad lie. Until the rest of what she said hit him as his face was redder than Ruby's cloak with a stupid smile plastered his face.

Jaune: welp. Might not got a date but we still get to hang out with her.

We cut to a cup of coffee with the schnee family crest on it, with jaune looking in aw.

Jaune: how did a coffee brewer make this? I'm used to the basic settings for designs.

Weiss: it didn't, I did. Besides it's a simple design.

Jaune: wait, when did you learn to make coffee?

Weiss: turns out, Blake is an incredible barista, though considering how long she reads her... Filth I'm not surprised she makes coffee.

Jaune: oh. That's neat, and thinking about it, it makes sense, also wait did you just say Blake reads po-

Weiss: POINT is, yes I can make coffee, so don't act like it's a miracle.

Jaune: right yeah, sorry.

Weiss: now, onto a lighter subject, I have a game for both of us, however it does involve alcohol so if we do play you'll be here for night. For obvious reasons.

Jaune: understood snow angel. Whats the game?

Weiss: two truths, one lie. With the new rule of if whoever spot 10 lies in a row the loser has to tell an embarrassing secret that they would normally take to their grave. Make sense?

Jaune nodded as Weiss smirked, she got up and soon came with a bottle of whiskey and wine as well as with two shot glasses.

Weiss: one last thing. If one of us gets it wrong, we have to take a shot so pick your poison jaune.

Jaune nodded before taking a long look. Before eventually grabbing the whiskey bottle and shaking it a bit. Weiss just nodded and pushed the wine aside.

Weiss: round one. I'll start easy. I never had a pet, I had a ton of stuffed animals, and I hated my brother for being a suckup.

Jaune: uh the second one.

Weiss nodded as jaune smiled.

Jaune: now my turn. I'll increase the difficulty a little. I wanted to fight Neptune when I first saw him. I faked my transcripts and I sniffed my pet dog Shelby's ass once.

Weiss thought about it for a few moments as she seemed to find her answer as she seemed confident in it.

Weiss: you may have been a dolt but theres no way you faked your transcripts.

Jaune nervously chuckled at that before clearing his throat.

Jaune: I... Did fake my transcripts.

Weiss went quiet before her eye twitched.

Weiss: you mean. You faked your transcripts to get into beacon, w-why?!

Jaune: i never got any training from my dad and wasn't allowed to go to any combat schools, so I never got a letter of recommendation or the chance to actually get an authentic transcript. So I uh.. faked mine.

Weiss went quiet again as she simply poured herself a glass. As she looked at him.

Weiss: are you sure you faked your transcripts and you aren't just lying to yourself?

Jaune: I'm sure Weiss.

Weiss:so what was the lie?

jaune: I did have a dog named Shelby, but I never once sniffed her ass.

Weiss:... I can't believe I had enough faith that you were trained

Weiss takes a swig before placing down the glass as her face had a tinge of pink.

Weiss: m-my turn. I can hold my liquor more than my mother. I thought Neptune was the ideal guy for awhile and Im Really sexually repressed, like if I could i'd try every position and understandable kink, atleast once.

Jaune: as much as I wish the last one is a lie, your already blushing after oneshot. Your a lightweight Weiss.

Weiss:... I hate this game now.

Jaune: you suggested it. Here if you want I can get the next one wrong on purp-

Weiss: don't even FINISH that thought. If we're doing this... We're playing fair... Even if its BULLSHIT how you already have TWO in a ROW.

Jaune just nodded and chuckled softly at the heiress's aggravation.

Jaune: ok. My turn. I met ruby after you and her had the... Incident, yang for some reason was my wing woman during beacon, and i could beat pyrrha in a arm wrestling contest.

Weiss just looked at him and narrowed her eyes.

Weiss: no way on the gods green grass you could beat pyrrha at arm wrestling.

Jaune: yep. Anytime we did she'd always win.

Weiss: figured. No offense but during beacon you were a noodle compared to the rest of us

Jaune: no offense taken. I definitely was a noodle during beacon. Though technically I still am

Weiss: not really. You have gotten a lot more definition to your body.

There was a small pause as Weiss went red as she looked away.

Weiss: f-from the surface level atleast.

Jaune smiled softly and the night continued on as the two would talk and drink. Enjoying this moment of bliss. Who knows what fate will have for them but whatever comes.. these moments will always be priceless.

Ofcourse theres also you dear reader, what might you find in looking into this single night? That depends on what you want to see.

(feel free to continue on with this. It's always nice seeing others interpretation)

Brave

(I think I'm gonna phase out of my previous style and go into my normal writing style but I want yall to decide so ill put the poll in the end of this fic. Also merry Christmas everyone)

To say Weiss was incredible was a major understatement, atleast for one jaune arc. Despite the constant flash freezing she does to him he keeps trying... She didn't enjoy the constant attempts. She wouldn't nor shouldnt allow him to get to her, knowing her luck it's probably a facade. The moment he has her is the moment she gets trapped again.

Trapped like her own home was.

Trapped, Locked away and only released so others may gloat they were in her presence.

Trapped, and suffering.

But yet today, on the start of Christmas break no less. It was different. Her team, was out either with family or spending time with the other two.

Meanwhile Weiss? Weiss was in the library bored as looked for a nice book to read before stopping on... A children's book? A book made for children amongst the arsenal detailing the history of huntsman and huntresses. This... Intrigued Weiss, she grabbed it and pulled it out and read the title "the brave dragon"... Strange.

She decided to take it to the back of the library and began to read.

"a long, long time ago. A dragon who's heart was as beautiful as a diamond soon had it be frozen by the king of dragons. The once elegant and courageous dragon turned to isolation and bitterness. The humans that ones befriended it turned to its enemies with the dragon destroying it with its icy flame. The beautiful land and help cultivated was now A reduced to nothing but white hot ash. And so that dragon stayed alone and bitter. Until one day, a knight arrived to find this dragon, to require it's help, as the Greatest warrior of the knights home was gone, so the knight came to it and begged only to receive nothing but refusal and the dragons fury. Eventually the knight left causing a growing emptiness in the dragons frozen heart. Eventually the dragon would fly to the knight as it saw the knight fighting a giant bird that terrorized the people. With the bird striking the knight gravely wounding him and as the bird was about to strike the dragon would stand in its way as its heart was engulfed with flame as it forced the beast to return to its flock as unbeknownst to the dragon, it's cold heart had finally been allowed to melt. Soon after days of worrying the knight was able to finally return and thank the dragon for its bravery."

And the story ended there as Weiss was a tad annoyed for some reason. She didn't know why but something about the fact the story ended abruptly just... It bugged her. Weiss would sigh as she got back and put the book away as she noticed someone else coming through the library.. someone that should probably not be at school during the break.

One jaune arc was looking at the books in the shelves as he seemed indecisive as Weiss watch out of morbid curiosity before hearing another pair of footsteps as cardin and the rest of his flock entered and were chatting about something related to "putting fanaus bitches in their place" or whatever braindead idea they had.. which was somewhat ironic as one of the members, lark had shown attraction to a faunus. Regardless Weiss paid no more mind than what they deserved as her curiosity was now on jaune as he grabbed a book about the history of huntsmen fighting styles as he was walking toward the exit before being met with cardin.

"hey there jaune-jaune, how's your back feeling?" Cardin spoke as he had a smug look on his face as jaune just grumbled. "L-look cardin I don't have time for you and your crows, now may I please pass through?" Jaune spoke as he attempted to keep his voice steady as he tried to squeeze through before cardin put a hand on jaunes shoulder as cardin leaned close to his ear. "I dont think i feel like it. Besides.. I wanna use my favorite punching bag." Cardin spoke softly as jaunes face went pale, Weiss watched on expecting to see pyrrha show up to tell them to knock it off but so far.. nothing. Jaune stepped back and raised his fists as weiss raised an eyebrow as she didn't hear what cardin said but whatever it was jaune was preparing to fight.

"I'm not doing this cardin. I-im done with you." Jaune spoke as cardin just smiled before punching him in the gut as jaune opened his mouth shout in pain but nothing escaped his mouth.

Cardin then proceeded to grab him by his hair and kick him in the face as jaune stumbled back into a book shelf.

Weiss felt a pit in her stomach as she balled up her hands into a fist as something in her wanted to just grab Cardin and shove him into the ground. Weiss didn't know why she felt like this.. but she needed to keep her cool and wait for pyr-

"no invincible girl save you from this jauney-boy." Cardin taunted as he grabbed jaune by his shirt but before anything else could happen Cardin was flash frozen in a block of ice as his goons and jaune looked to see Weiss pointing myrtenaster at cardin as she had a scowl on her face.

"sometimes pyrrha, I worry your care for the dolt is rubbing off on me" Weiss thought to herself as she lowered myrtenaster. "Your boss will unfreeze soon. I advise you take him to your dorm and make sure he releases that dolt." Weiss spoke calmly as his goons nodded and picked up their frozen leader as he released jaune before they ran off. Leaving a confused jaune as he adjusted his posture as he stared at Weiss as he was about to say something.

"don't.. I shouldn't need to do your job of defending yourself." Weiss interrupted as her voice was cold with her turning away and walking out before arriving at her dorm as her face was red.

"dolt!"

JAUNE IS A WHORE! Pt WHORE (get it?)

(Lancaster/Whiteknight edition.. plus corporate fraud I guess?)

(and before anyone asks why this ain't tagged whiterose as well? I don't feel like having my head being put on like yet by the thorns.)

Jaune found himself in a rather.. interesting predicament as he sat in front of yang and winter. The two women he previously slept with.

Jaune: so... Your not mad.. about when we uh... You know-

Winter: No Mr. Arc we- or more specifically I- am not about our copulation

Jaune: copu-what?

Yang: she ain't mad that you fucked her stupid

Winter: ... That aside we actually came to discuss a recent event.

Jaune: oh.. that being?

Both: you sleeping with Weiss and Ruby.

Jaune: oh... Look before you assume, I will say that Weiss dragged both me AND Ruby to the bedroom.

Winter: well that's obvious, Weiss May be able to stay pristine in public but give her an opportunity to let off steam she'll go full throttle.

Yang: damn weiss-queen is THAT repressed?

Winter and jaune both as jaune winced and massaged his hips.

Jaune: definitely... Gods she practically crushed my hips, though I was better of than ruby, I think her jaw still aches from-

Yang: OK! i don't feel like hearing that.

Jaune: ah sorry forgot you still her as innocent.

Winter: back to the main point I have one question for you Mr. Arc.

Jaune: uh sure fire away.

Winter: do you offer sessions.

Jaune & Yang:

WINTER WTF?!

Winter: I'm being honest here, your practically serving the entire schnee family with your uh... "Arc" all your missing is Whitley and you'd be boning the entire family.

Jaune: well...

Yang: no fuckin way.. you actually-

Jaune: i uh... I fucked Whitley while he dressed up as Weiss.

Winter:... Correction your fucking my entire family!

Jaune:...yeah.

Winter: jaune... Your a whore.

You make me feel...

(apologies for the lackluster post)

Jaune with his ships:

////

Lancaster:

Jaune looked at Ruby as the two stood in a hill together.

Jaune: ruby, you make me feel so so happy, you've been my rock through all of this... Your my best friend- and girlfriend- and I love you for that!

////

Whiteknight:

Jaune and Weiss were at weiss' temporary apartment as jaune held a bouquet of flowers as he was mildly embarrassed.

Jaune: Weiss... You make me feel so.. so lucky to be able to know someone like you, your a great friend, an incredible huntress, and overall a person anyone would be lucky to have.. I know you probably don't feel the same but I wanna take one last chance, and to show how I truly feel about you.. Weiss i love you.. i love you for the way you care for your friends, i love you for the way you fight for what you Believe in, i love every aspect of you, and all.. so would you like to go out?

////

(no knightshade unfortunately because I can't think of shit)

Dragon Slayer:

Jaune had found found himself fighting alongside yang as they stood before a horde of Grimm now dead at their feet. With jaune taking a deep breath before exhaling and turning to yang.

Jaune: yang I'll be honest. You make me feel a lot. You make me laugh with your pun, you make me feel like I can fight an army with you by my side. You make me feel, unstoppable...so one thank you, for all of this, and two.. I would like to know if you uh, wanted to go out for a date.

////

Arkos (wait wtf this is new):

Jaune sighed softly as he took a seat. he was much older as his hair was tied into a wolf tail, and he had a 5:00 shadow.

Jaune: Pyrrha.. you made me feel.. so.. so small.. but also so, so, loved. Despite how much better of a leader any of you could be all of you.. had faith and trust in me, especially you! You trusted me to lead you, you let me be honest, I told you a lot of my secrets.. you made me... No, you make me feel like I can always get better. You were incredible Pyrrha. And... I'm sorry I couldn't accept you.. I'm sorry i couldn't fight by you.

Jaune looked up at the metal statue of the great woman he grew to call his closest friend.

Jaune: i loved you Pyrrha... I'm sorry I couldn't realize that sooner.

Jaune is a WHORE! PT. 5

Jaune at this point was used to being in uncomfortable positions and this one was no different as now he sat infront of Sun. The monkey faunus just sitting there seemingly calm as his blue haired friend paced back and forth foaming at the mouth.

Jaune: um if I may ask. Why am I here-

Sun: because Neptune is feeling salty

Jaune:..why?

Neptune: because you fucked Weiss, her hot sister, even her MOM! And now I find out you managed to bone MY MOTHER! Jaune I know we barely know each other but-

Jaune: I'm a whore.. I know. I've been told that many.

Neptune: AND THAT'S A DAMN PROBLEM! YOUR STEALING ALL THE HOT BABES!

Sun: nep. No offense man but I can't really blame the guy.

Neptune:.. sun I'm begging you not to finish the sentence.

Sun: your mom's hot dude. Id do her too if we weren't friends.

Neptune just looked at him before raising a fist as sun just rolled his eyes as jaune looked at the monkey faunus.

Jaune: your supprisingly chill... Especially considering the fact I slept with Blake too.

Sun: don't get me wrong I was mad at first but I know Blake is smart enough to make a good choices. Plus it's not like I was gonna score her anyway.

Jaune: so... You knew about her and yang?

Sun sighed softly as his tail swished back and forth.

Sun: more of just a hunch. Those two were chained at the hip, sometimes you just can't beat a bond formed early.

Neptune: back to the problem at hand. jaune, you being a whore is causing a major issue. I need to ask you to please, stop

Jaune just chuckled softly before standing up as he winced and grabbed his hips.

Jaune: Neptune. We both know that's never gonna happen.. I can't stop them.

Neptune: what do you mean you can't stop them? And who's "them"?!

Jaune got close as he put a hand on Neptunes shoulder and looked at him in the eyes.

Jaune: the women... They hunt people like me... They hunt dorks

Neptune: dear oum...

Jaune: i can't feel my pelvis Neptune... But they'll keep coming. I can't stop them.

Sun: ah so that's why ilia was looking at me funny.

Suddenly a frantic knock at the door was heard.

Nora: fearless leader! Let me in! I think something's going on with Ren.

To be continued...

I think the reason I connect to Jaune of all characters is because I can relate to the feeling of inadequacy. Ofcourse the character isn't perfect and I get why people just don't like him but I can't agree. Ofcourse that's just a shitty opinion and of course obviously my opinions are garbage. Any way my glazing aside-

Ok I know normally this is a really small (even compared to the shitposts) Rwby shipping post buuut-

A chat

Setting: jaune is currently helping Weiss move into her temporary apartment.

Jaune: hey Weiss?

Weiss turned to look at jaune as she hummed. She held a box in her hands before setting it down a stack of boxes.

Weiss: hmm?

Jaune: if you were sent back in time and put in our beacon, would you still.. you know dislike me during that time?

Weiss: well depends, would it just be me or would all of us be sent back?

Jaune: just you.

Weiss: hmm.. well id certainly still be annoyed with you. But I wouldnt be.. as harsh as my younger self. I would tell you to stop flirting and just try being friendly with me and then see how that goes.

Jaune: huh.. alright then. anything else outside of me?

Weiss: well this ones obvious, tell pyrrha to ask you out. Atleast then I wouldn't be annoyed. And apologize to Blake profusely for a lot of the things I said.. and ofcourse make sure to check in on ruby.

The room went quiet as jaune simply nodded.

Jaune: so-

Weiss: jaune, since you did ask that I think It's only fair that I ask you a question.

Jaune: huh, that seems fair. Fire away.

Weiss turned around fully to face him.

Weiss: if you went back in time.. what would you do?

Jaune: let's see, I would try harder in my classes, I'd have enough with Cardin's bullshit a lot earlier.. and I'd be honest with my team and you guys.. outside of that I'd stop flirting with you.. I got a lot of things I wish I could fix.

Weiss: but obviously.. what's happened, has happened.

Jaune: no going back.

Weiss: speaking of no going back, since we've finished up for today I say we go visit Ruby.

Jaune: alright then, you sure I should come with? It's.. been awhile since me and her actually talked.

Weiss: I think it do you both good.

Jaune just simply nodded as he amd Weiss soon walked out the front door but not before-

Jaune: hey Weiss.. thanks for putting up with me

Weiss: your welcome.. and your not that annoying anymore. Besides, outside of that, your a good friend.

END

When I check to see the reblogs I better see "WE ARE SO BACK" (kidding obviously I'm not that good at writing fics)

..you mothafuckers-

...i feel like I need to continue this damn series. Is this what rocknroll7575 felt like when dealing with JFOM Club?.. holy shit.

Alright how about this. I'll continue this series if y'all vote on a little pole for me.

Jaune is a WHORE! PT. 5

Jaune at this point was used to being in uncomfortable positions and this one was no different as now he sat infront of Sun. The monkey faunus just sitting there seemingly calm as his blue haired friend paced back and forth foaming at the mouth.

Jaune: um if I may ask. Why am I here-

Sun: because Neptune is feeling salty

Jaune:..why?

Neptune: because you fucked Weiss, her hot sister, even her MOM! And now I find out you managed to bone MY MOTHER! Jaune I know we barely know each other but-

Jaune: I'm a whore.. I know. I've been told that many.

Neptune: AND THAT'S A DAMN PROBLEM! YOUR STEALING ALL THE HOT BABES!

Sun: nep. No offense man but I can't really blame the guy.

Neptune:.. sun I'm begging you not to finish the sentence.

Sun: your mom's hot dude. Id do her too if we weren't friends.

Neptune just looked at him before raising a fist as sun just rolled his eyes as jaune looked at the monkey faunus.

Jaune: your supprisingly chill... Especially considering the fact I slept with Blake too.

Sun: don't get me wrong I was mad at first but I know Blake is smart enough to make a good choices. Plus it's not like I was gonna score her anyway.

Jaune: so... You knew about her and yang?

Sun sighed softly as his tail swished back and forth.

Sun: more of just a hunch. Those two were chained at the hip, sometimes you just can't beat a bond formed early.

Neptune: back to the problem at hand. jaune, you being a whore is causing a major issue. I need to ask you to please, stop

Jaune just chuckled softly before standing up as he winced and grabbed his hips.

Jaune: Neptune. We both know that's never gonna happen.. I can't stop them.

Neptune: what do you mean you can't stop them? And who's "them"?!

Jaune got close as he put a hand on Neptunes shoulder and looked at him in the eyes.

Jaune: the women... They hunt people like me... They hunt dorks

Neptune: dear oum...

Jaune: i can't feel my pelvis Neptune... But they'll keep coming. I can't stop them.

Sun: ah so that's why ilia was looking at me funny.

Suddenly a frantic knock at the door was heard.

Nora: fearless leader! Let me in! I think something's going on with Ren.

To be continued...

Loss..

This.. this ends @spahhzy and @epic-arc I SHALL GO BEYOND! I SHALL GO FUCKED UP.

enjoy this "whiteknight" post.

Weiss: jaune I'm home.

Weiss walked into her home holding groceries, as she smelled the familiar scent of rot. As Weiss heard jaunes voice.

'jaune': I'm on the couch. How was work?

Weiss: It was good. Ruby decided to talk to me, something about how I'm going too far with something.

'jaune': maybe she's just mad you didn't make it to the get together.

Weiss put down the groceries and walked into the living room. Looking at her husband, his pale skin and deteriorating hair. His clothes freshly cleaned as he looked stunning to her... As he always did.

Weiss: perhaps.. she really should stop being childish.

'jaune': you said it.

Weiss sat beside her husband as she held him close, putting her head on his chest as she could hear his "heartbeat" through the wound that came from Cinder' spear.

Weiss would still have her smile as tears started flooding from her eyes.

Weiss: I love you.. my knight.

Weiss was happy.. she should be.. that's how he would want her to be.

Cute.. but utterly fruitless.

If we are going child for child it's time-

DOMAINS EXPANSION:

SELF EMBODIMENT OF A TRUE BLACKGUARD SHIPPER

''Mutal Love''

Jaune would get home and go to his room and see Weiss sleeping which would make him smile and then he would go to his son and daughter's room and lean on the crib leaving his hand close to his babies.

Jaune: I hope I can be a good father to you two…

When Jaune would say that he would be hugged from behind and saw that it was Weiss with a calm and slightly serious expression on her face.

Weiss: How many times will I have to repeat to you that you will be a good father..

Jaune turned around hugging Weiss too and would caress her face and take the opportunity to kiss her on the forehead which would form a comfortable smile on her face.

Jaune: hehe I know you've repeated this several times but I keep remembering what happened with Lewis and Alyx..

Jaune would say that and have a sad expression on his face and Weiss would notice by placing one of her hands on his face and with a warm and comfortable smile.

Weiss: Jaune, what happened to alyx and lewis wasn't your fault, alyx was just a scared child who preferred to follow her fear but look on the bright side you were a great figure for lewis who made you be marked as one of the best hunters in the history of remmant heh.

Weiss would pull Jaune for a kiss and he would kiss back and after a few minutes the two would look at their babies and a smile forms on Jaune's face with some tears of joy.

Jaune: I promise we will be the best parents in the world.

Weiss: And I always believe in your promises.

Jaune would place his hand on the crib and see his son holding his finger, forming a small smile on the baby's face.

@spahhzy @infoglitch

Domain Expansion: WHITE KNIGHT LOVE

... Ok let's do this.

But I'm titling this section as season 1. Because fuck you.

Jaune is a WHORE! PT. 5

Jaune at this point was used to being in uncomfortable positions and this one was no different as now he sat infront of Sun. The monkey faunus just sitting there seemingly calm as his blue haired friend paced back and forth foaming at the mouth.

Jaune: um if I may ask. Why am I here-

Sun: because Neptune is feeling salty

Jaune:..why?

Neptune: because you fucked Weiss, her hot sister, even her MOM! And now I find out you managed to bone MY MOTHER! Jaune I know we barely know each other but-

Jaune: I'm a whore.. I know. I've been told that many.

Neptune: AND THAT'S A DAMN PROBLEM! YOUR STEALING ALL THE HOT BABES!

Sun: nep. No offense man but I can't really blame the guy.

Neptune:.. sun I'm begging you not to finish the sentence.

Sun: your mom's hot dude. Id do her too if we weren't friends.

Neptune just looked at him before raising a fist as sun just rolled his eyes as jaune looked at the monkey faunus.

Jaune: your supprisingly chill... Especially considering the fact I slept with Blake too.

Sun: don't get me wrong I was mad at first but I know Blake is smart enough to make a good choices. Plus it's not like I was gonna score her anyway.

Jaune: so... You knew about her and yang?

Sun sighed softly as his tail swished back and forth.

Sun: more of just a hunch. Those two were chained at the hip, sometimes you just can't beat a bond formed early.

Neptune: back to the problem at hand. jaune, you being a whore is causing a major issue. I need to ask you to please, stop

Jaune just chuckled softly before standing up as he winced and grabbed his hips.

Jaune: Neptune. We both know that's never gonna happen.. I can't stop them.

Neptune: what do you mean you can't stop them? And who's "them"?!

Jaune got close as he put a hand on Neptunes shoulder and looked at him in the eyes.

Jaune: the women... They hunt people like me... They hunt dorks

Neptune: dear oum...

Jaune: i can't feel my pelvis Neptune... But they'll keep coming. I can't stop them.

Sun: ah so that's why ilia was looking at me funny.

Suddenly a frantic knock at the door was heard.

Nora: fearless leader! Let me in! I think something's going on with Ren.

To be continued...

no because wishfulfillment isekai webnovel writer Jaune + raging antifan Weiss that criticizes his every choice but still reads every single one of his chapters and is always the first to comment is the only way i will consume whiteknight (i had thought about a fic like this but most likely wont write it)

bonus points if the MC is actually Jaune's self-insert and Weiss actually likes that character and writes super long rant posts because he had potential but was wasted for dumb isekai fanservice

neither of them knows each other irl but when Jaune is unable to post chapters bc he has gone into uni debt Weiss secretly pays it all off

My brother in Christ if this shit is not the most comedic and perfectly ridiculous thing I've ever read then I don't know what is.

For a moment I thought you were pug but I'm surprised I've received another ask that isn't someone being a piece of shit.

And in all honesty,

I fuck with this idea

It's funny as all hell and could definitely work as a whiteknight fic. So overall

You can fuckin cook!

Weiss: Ok, we'll start south of Mantle. You two start north, and we'll rendezvous in the middle. Assuming of course, Ruby and I haven't already caught the fugitives by the time you two show up.

Jaune: Weiss, there are nine hardened criminals running free in the streets. This is hardly the time for childish trash talk.

Weiss: *Quirks an eyebrow*

Jaune: It's time for a bet, a crazy ass bet.

Weiss: *Smirks* What are ya thinking?

Jaune: Whoever catches the most fugitives gets to keep their apartment. Loser moves in with the winner. *Extends a hand*

Weiss: Alright, I'm in. *Shakes Jaune's hand before leaning in threateningly* I hope you like sleeping in a bed with 1,000 pillows.

Jaune: *Leans in as well* Well, I hope you like sharing my one grey towel.

Weiss: ... Was it grey when you bought it?

Jaune: I didn't buy it. It was in the apartment when I moved in.

Weiss: Are you sure you don't want to just move in with me?

Jaune: We already shook on it. The bet stands. Prepare to die, and by die, I mean move in with me.

Wow... Let me just say, before you possibly read this, this was originally just another copy pasted rwby quote shitpost thing like I usually do. Said copy pasted quote will hopefully be more obvious near the end. But then, as I was writing, I just kept going, and going, and going, and going, until a hour in I realized, I was still going. But, I had already written most of it, so I thought I may as well finish it. 

I don’t really know how many will like, or even care about this, but I hope the ones that do enjoy the read. It’s pretty rough not gonna lie, don’t got anybody to beta-read this. I’ll probably not do something this again, except possibly on a random whim out of nowhere, much like this. Either way, I stalled long enough. 

Behold what happens when an idea expands further than intended with no certainty about the quality!

Atop a lonely single tower, sat a princess. For an almost undermined amount of time, this one room was all that she knew. All that she could exist in. At one side sat her her handmaiden, currently making the room as clean and neat as she could. The girl was a cat faunus about her age, with long black hair and vibrant amber eyes, along with cute little cat ears atop her head. The two weren’t particularly close, the girl seemed to hold a quiet distain for the princess if anything. Not that the princess could blame her, seeing as her family practically enslaved her and forced her to work for the princess. On the other side were two guards, perched in front of the door to the room, her only means of leaving. Before her was but a single window, perched up to allow her at least some connection to the outside. She brushed her silky white hair as she looked out at the world, wishing longingly to be apart of it. All that she knew about the outside came from books her handmaiden leant to her occasionally. 

While many were rather fantastical, leaving her to believe them to be fiction, there were also tales of numerous knights and heroes who could certainly exist. Her favorite, certainly being the story about the Rusted Knight. While many were uncertain about his actual appearance, some accounts claimed him to be rather handsome. Others would even state to have gotten the chance bed him, claiming him to be a rather well-endowed and... virile lover. Oh, how she wished she could be part of his tales. Rescued from her lonely tower by him, giving her the chance to not only explore the world, but take back and restore her kingdom, as well as her family name, from her bastard of a father. Perhaps this would also be enough for the knight to feel he has redeemed himself, and settle down. ‘Preferably with me...’ The princess thought, a red tinge arising on her cheeks as she imagined the knight taking her, and blessing her with many heirs. A sigh left her mouth as her imagination died down, revealing her cage once more. As much as she wished she could escape into her mind and leave this world behind, she couldn’t ignore where she was. Her fantasy was just that. A fantasy. One she couldn’t hope to leave from.

However...

Just as her hope was nearly diminished, the subtle sound of a horn ran through the air. This surprised the princess out of her stupor as wondered where that sound came from. Then she heard it again. Louder this time. As she listened in closer, her head almost fully out the window, she could make out yet another sound. A sound of collective stomps upon the ground, getting louder and louder with each step. A march. And upon the third horn, she could just barely fully recognize the sound, as well as it’s significance. And her worries were confirmed, as but a minute later, she could make out a large army making their way to her tower. Knights clad in all sorts of iron armor, brandishing weapons from swords and shields, to spears, to even mases. The princess could feel her heart begin to race, wondering just what they could want. Money perhaps? Maybe they’re here just for the thrill of a battle? Art they perhaps here for... her?

The princess did her best to steady her breathing, knowing she must look at this situation calmly, and vigilantly. She looked over the army, spying out any potential weak spots she could make out from her high vantage point. What she found however, had changed the course of her approach. As she scoped through the army, she saw one knight in the front, seemingly leading the rest behind him. That alone didn’t really catch her attention. What did, was the giant jackalope he was riding. There was also the man’s armor. The white plating with gold lining alone was attention grabbing, none could ignore the clear rust that covered every inch of the armor. If that wasn’t enough, the princess could make out one more thing. His shield held a rather familiar crest, that of two crescent moons. A gasp left her mouth as she comprehended just who this man was.

“The Rusted Knight!” She exclaimed, much to the confusion of her two guards, whom seemed to have spent more time leering at her beauty than noticing the army at their doorstep.

Looking away from her however, they quickly realized the situation, fear clearly emanating off them. It appears they wouldn’t have to worry however, as a large number of the guards stationed at the tower quickly left to fend off the approaching army. The two guards let out a sigh of relief, believing themselves to be safe from the upcoming carnage. The princess however was quite horrified at the display.

“What art they doing? Do they not knoweth whom they are up against? You must telleth to them to retreat or surrender! Before they all lose their lives!” She shouted at the guards.

The however brushed this off, believing their men to be of a superiors caliber. And if they were not, they’d at least by the two guards time to escape. Hearing this disgusted the princess, not believing the audacity these two portrayed. Not only ignoring an order from their princess, but also condemning their comrades to die. And yet, considering the attitude, as well as the degenerate behavior all her guards have portrayed in her time here, she shouldn’t be surprised. A guard had suddenly burst into her chambers in a state of clear panic. The two standing by the door look at him perturbed, wondering what was the alarm. Quickly trying his best to recollect as his thoughts, he stands front and center. “One of the soldiers outside has breached the tower!” He shouted, the shock of all in the room. Looking out at the continuing battle however, something had caught her eye. Or rather, something missing.

Where had the Rusted Knight gone?

The sound of a slam had rang through the room, turning the heads of all present to the double-door entrance to the chamber. Another slam against the door could be heard, nearly knocking it off it hinges. The two had attempted to put their guard up for whoever was coming, however, they didn’t expect both doors to violently fly open smashing them into the wall. The princess gasped as she watched their broken bodies slump to ground, a trail of blood leaking onto the floor. Looking back towards the door, she was nearly blown away at the sight of their trespasser. Before her stood nonother than the Rusted Knight himself. However, his trek up there had clearly been a trying one, as his chestplate had been slashed and torn apart, revealing his rather broad and muscled chest. With scratches and slight blood sprinkled about, there was no fat or softness that could be spotted from his rippled pecs, all the way down to his tight abs. Looking even lower however, she could see a light outline of what appeared to be his... manhood bulging from his pants. The stories clearly did not do him justice.

The princess could feel her bodies temperature raise at the sight, feeling the need to cool off any way she could. She undid her bolero, dropping to the ground. A soft, sensual moan left her lips as she could feel the cold air from the snow brush up against her now bare shoulders. The coldness failed to cool her off however, it only building up.

Without a second to waste, the Rusted Knight unsheathed his fabled broken sword. Now, many would immediately brush this off as a rather foolish plan. The Rusted Knight however, had built up a legend for a reason. Quickly, he flung his blade directly toward the last guard with blinding speed. The guard didn’t even know what hit him until it was already too late. The blade pierced right through his armor and pinned him right up against the wall. The force of which had nearly blown the princess away, the princess could only moan as she felt the hem of her dress be torn off in the process. She could only imagine how flushed her face must be as she took a look at her now torn dress, making her appear to be not but a harlot.

“Lady Schnow,” A deep voice penetrated through the knight’s rusted helmet. Reaching up, he began to lift his helmet up, much to the shock and anticipation of the princess. A small breath of surprise left her as she gazed upon his face. Before her was man hardened through many battles and hardships. She didn’t know his age, but could guess he was about ten years her elder. Her eyes lingered on his soft-looking, dirty-blonde hair, a few white strands strewn about. There was also his long beard, the thought to run her fingers through it briefly passing through her mind. The most enchanting thing about him however, was his eyes. A beautiful sapphire blue, as clear and as wonderous as the sky itself. Behind them, she could feel a piercing gaze looking straight through her soul.

Dropping his helmet to the ground, the knight began to make his way over to the princess. Standing before her, she is forced to acknowledge his dominating height over her, being a full head taller. “I... am John of the Ark Clan.” Said the now revealed John, taking the princess’ hands into his own as he looked down at her. “Legend of your beauty hath traveled ‘cross the sea.” He stated as he raised a hand to her. Brushing a loose strand off her face, the knight gently caresses her cheek with back of his knuckles, the princess failing to resist shuddering at the action. The heat in her neither region was becoming too much to handle. She desperately needed to sate this desire bubbling up inside of her. The princess knew succumbing to this... brute, would most surely be unbecoming of someone of her status. As well as be something her father would most certainly disown her for. But then again...

She never was particularly a daddy’s girl.

The princess took one more good long look at the man before her, her eyes once again rest on his bulge. She subconsciously bit her lower lip as she brought a finger up to her cheek, giving the knight a rather coy look. She subtly moved her finger over to his bare chest, dragging it down teasingly slow. “And legend of your... longsword, hath traveled here~” She sensually claimed, emphasizing her sentence by grabbing ahold of his “sword”. A gasp left out of the knight, not expecting the princess to so... forward. Unsure what to think at first, the knight gazes down at the princess with growing arousal, a gaze  she happily returns.

“Lady... Thy boldness” He stated, before immediately being silenced by her pressing a finger to his lips. 

“Shusheth!” She shouted. The heat was now unbearable. It must satisfied here and now. And with the growing hardness she is now feeling in her hand, she knew exactly how to do it. There was but a moment of silence between the two, neither moving, or talking. That moment of calm was almost instantly broken however, as the princess immediately leapt into the knights arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Holding her up by her tight and supple posterior, the two quickly came together for a deep sensual kiss. Their tongues collided in a lustful clash, neither letting up or backing down both as tried to dominate the other.

As this went on, the knight subtly steps closer and closer towards the princess’ large bed. Losing patience however, he leapt them both into the air, crashing down on top the bed, the princess now underneath him. As the two continued their competitive lust-filled kiss, they began disrobing one another, stripping the other of any possible blocks from their body. While this went on however, both neglected to realize not only was the princess’ handmaiden still in the room, but was now watching as the two continued to give in to their base, carnal desires. Completely ignoring her prescience. Instead of feeling awkward however, the faunus couldn’t help but feel her own arousal building at the display. Slowly, she subconsciously reached her hand beneath her skirt, watching them finally rip off every article of clothing they had. 

The knight and princess looked down at one another as they finally separated for a breather, both breathing heavily as they gazed into one another's eyes. The princess let out a gasp as she felt a hot object rub against her naked entrance. Looking down at said object, the blush on her face got even hotter. Gazing back into John’s eyes, she felt like the two didn’t even need words to understand one another. He knew what she wanted. She knew what he wanted. And they both knew the other knew. Princess Schnow looked up at John with a sultry smile, feeling him about to claim her womanhood for himself.

“John of the Ark Clan!-”

Weiss: Wonder me with your massive knightly-!

Yang: Woah woah! Slow your roll there!

Weiss: *Looks up from her story at her team* What’s wrong?

Ruby: Weiss, you never said your story was... f-filthy.

Weiss: Uh, because it isn’t. This is a historically accurate medieval tale... with slight erotic undertones. 

Yang: Oh, there were no slight undertones in the end there.

Weiss: Well, surely you lack the ability to look underneath the surface, as expected from someone as unrefined as you.

Yang: *Quirks an eyebrow* Ok miss refine, tell me this. Why is this story about how you wanna bang Jaune?

Weiss: Excuse me?

Yang: What, I thought that much was pretty obvious.

Weiss: Clearly you thought wrong. This story is about the beautiful princess, Lady Schnow of the Atlesian Kingdom, and the her rescue by the graceful, gentle... *Blushes* skillful hands of the Rusted Knight, John of the Ark Clan. Where did you pick up that it was me and Jaune.

Yang: ... Ok, so there’s a princess?

Weiss: Yes.

Yang: With long white hair, and is called Lady Schnow?

Weiss: Uh huh.

Blake: And there is a rusted knight that has blonde hair with blue eyes?

Weiss: Right.

Ruby: And is named John?

Weiss: ... So there may be some superficial similarities.

Yang: *Rolls her eyes, deciding to give up before she gets a headache*

Blake: Why am I a handmaiden watching you two on the side?

Weiss: First of all, you think just because you both are cat faunus with long black hair, and amber eyes, and collect books must mean I based her off you? Conceited much?

Blake: I’m being conceited here?

Weiss: Second of all, it helped to add to the fiery passion built up in that scene.

Blake:  And a faunus handmaid because...?

Weiss: Historical accuracy.

Yang: Alright, I think Ruby and I had our fill for the day. *Grabs Ruby’s hood and begins dragging her out*

Weiss: But I haven’t finished yet. I was just about to get to how Lady Schnow undoes John’s pants to reveal-

Yang: Later!

Ruby: B-but I wanna-!

(Slam!)

Weiss: *Sighs in defeat and prepares to pack away her story. Only to see Blake having not moved from her seat*

Weiss: Oh, you’re still here?

Blake: Yeah. I actually want to hear where this goes. *Casually settles in her seat* Continue.

Weiss: *Smiles* Glad to see someone in this team has taste. *Clears her throat as she resumes, only just scratching the surface of her depraved tale*