Rr - Tumblr Posts
Blacker, defending Ruby: I love talking to Ruby and her friends!! It’s not like any of the boring people around here ever ask me what my top three favorite reptiles are!
LB: its like a war zone here! What happened!?
Hitch: well ruby-
LB: ah, that makes sense
The Redfort Gang as Cards Against Humanity Players
Clancy: the one looking up all his cards on Google Images because he doesn’t understand them
Elliot: Laughing hysterically when the judge reads his card, giving himself away
Froghorn: The judge that takes everything extremely literally, doesn’t get any of the irony or sarcasm of the game
Del: Only uses the sexual/inappropriate cards, (Daniel Radcliffe’s delicious asshole is her personal fave)
Mrs. Digby: The judge that sits there staring and refusing to talk until everyone quits talking and quiets down to listen to the cards
Blacker: The one looking over at other peoples card, and spends each round trying to guess (out loud) who put in each card
Ruby: The one who has somehow won almost every round, despite people actively trying not to pick hers
Red: the one who hasn’t won a single round, insists each round “this is the one!!” (It’s never the one)
Hitch: The sneaky one that suspiciously always ends up with the best cards
LB: the owner of the cards, who is usually more worried about them being put away properly and orderly and people not spilling food on them than the actual game
Blacker: are you wearing makeup?
Froghorn: oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?
Blacker: looks OK, I guess
* later *
Blacker, sobbing into Hitch's shoulder: it looked so good.
Hitch: I know.
Blacker: I'm so gay.
Hitch: I know.
You guys have been really sweet about my really dorky Ruby Redfort posts recently so I thought I’d put in some work and get as much information as I can about everyone’s favourite code cracking, messy, doughnut eating Spectrum worker!
(Note: I am missing books 2 & 3 because I refuse to buy anything but hardback RR books, and there are other requirements because I’m a picky girl… so could someone else check those???)
Anyway, let’s begin today’s episode of Information about Blacker! Spoilers, maybe? Err on the side of caution!
Keep reading
Okay it’s unnecessary but I want to explain my alignment chart for Spectrum so here it goes
Gay:
- Distinguished: Sam Colt has never been caught tripping when it comes to romantic interests. He had a great long term relationship with this one guy, but they broke it off when their careers went in really different paths. Since then, he’s been happily single, although he’s dated occasionally.
- Functional: Blacker may be a mess when it comes to clothes, keeping tidy or eating doughnuts, but he’s actually pretty functional when it comes to dating. He’s completely oblivious when people like him, and you kinda have to spell it out for the poor guy, but he’s open to being in a relationship. He’s also a surprisingly good cook, so husband material right there, guys.
- Disaster: Miles Froghorn has the world’s biggest crush on his supervisor, Blacker, and everyone knows except Blacker. He has had reoccurring nightmares of accidentally calling Blacker ‘honey’ and has had to destroy notes when he realised he’s started doodling hearts in the margin while Blackers talking. The boy is a gay mess and LB is thinking of threatening to fire him unless he confesses to Blacker because she’s ‘sick of all the pining in this office, Miles.’
Bi
- Distinguished: LB has had a few girlfriends before she got together with Bradley, and is completely open about her past with him. She’s a pretty good judge of character so she’s never had a crazy ex and she was known for keeping a little bi flag on her desk when she wore colour. Ruby refuses to believe this and wants photographic proof, which she never gets, but she does receive the shock of her life when she sees LB wearing a bi flag as a cape during Spectrum’s annual pride week.
- Functional: Bradley’s had his share of bi freak outs but he’s generally good at getting himself back on track afterwards. However, he did have an embarrassing crush on Sam Colt after he was resuscitated by him, and sometimes gets teased about it. He and LB were very comfortable with each other’s bi-ness so they often liked to point out people on tv the other would find attractive.
- Disaster: Everyone thinks Hitch knows what he’s doing, but quite frankly the man is a catastrophe. He’s perfectly fine if he’s only casually into a person or not actually into them, but when he likes them he falls to pieces. Unfortunately, he also chooses people who don’t like him back. He’s also a mess in general, like when he cried for 7 hours when he found out Zuko had a girlfriend, or how he continually refuses to admit to LB that he blushed when he first saw Valerie Capaldi with dyed hair when they were 25 and she hadn’t yet committed homicide.
Lesbian
- Distinguished: Buzz is actually very smooth when she’s not wearing beige. She knocks it out the park in a blue dress and she’s known for stealing the hearts of Twinford’s wlw, although none of her colleagues know that at all. She is also unfortunately fending off a few male suitors but they’ll get the hint, one way or another.
- Functional: SJ is lowest brand of functional there is. She’s not the disaster lesbian because Ruby exists, but she’s one for dorky science based gifts to people she has crushes on, and cried because she thought that Margo Bardem was just that beautiful. She has a huge crush on a pretty single mother who visits her local grocery store, who is unbeknownst to her, Sadie Monroe.
- Disaster: Clancy cannot count on two hands and feet the amount of times Ruby talked about how she’s so gay. He’s had many conversations about Ruby’s crush on Del Lascoe and she won’t admit it, but she often watches terrible horror films because she’s into the final girl. She’s sometimes found herself minorly into guys, but it’s basically negligible and she now openly identifies as ‘most definitely’ a lesbian ever since meeting Bailey Roach. Sabina will not stop asking if she’s found a girlfriend yet, honey, you’d look so cute with Del! while Brant just casually mentions how proud he is of his lesbian daughter at work, and ignores the stares. She’s a lucky kid.
LB: what’s wrong with the way I dress?
Bradley: some people might say that all the black leather kind of makes you look like an evil villain.
Bradley: Uh, not me though, I think you look like a sexy motorcycle.
Hitch: Bradley... pull it together.
For New Year, Blacker teaches Ruby and Clancy how to drink responsibly for when they’re older, Miles somehow drinks SJ under a table where they sit and cry over how gay they both are, Hitch spontaneous bursts into karaoke and LB appears in a sparkly trousersuit to the shock of everyone
Ruby: how did this happen?
Clancy, stuck in a trashcan, flailing: how does anything happen? Move past it.
master ➳ list
where my stuff resides ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ☔️
[➣] = oneshots
[❃] = reactions/headcanons
[✣] = blurbs/drabbles
B T S
❃ asking to peg them
❃ what they’re like in little space
❃ overstimulating them
❃ how they confess to liking you
❃ touching them in public
K I M S E O K J I N
➣ photogenic - romance
M I N Y O O N G I
➣ under the weather - fluff
J U N G H O S E O K
nothing yet
K I M N A M J O O N
✣ snow days - little!namjoon, fluff
P A R K J I M I N
➣ in my feelings - school!au, fluff
➣ to please you - sub!jimin, smut
➣ mood to snuggle - fluff
K I M T A E H Y U N G
➣ nights like this - little!taehyung, fluff
➣ between us - sub!taehyung, smut, fluff
➣ the new toy - royal!au, hybrid!taehyung, smut
J E O N J U N G K O O K
➣ captivated (part 2) - sub!jungkook, romance, smut, fluff
➣ spring cleaning - sub!jungkook, smut, fluff
N C T
T E N
✣ [19:34] - sugarbaby!ten, fluff
J U N G J A E H Y U N
✣ [20:16] - sub!jaehyun, smut
W O N G Y U K H E I
➣ unexpected - omegaverse!au, omega!yukhei, smut, fluff
E X O
B Y U N B A E K H Y U N
➣ dirty boy - sub!baekhyun, smut
honestly tho that scene in the incredibles where mr. incredible sees the names of all the old super heroes that used to be his friends / that he knew from Back in the Day and how every one of them has been killed by syndrome is such a chilling scene for so many reasons
like for one, everyone he knew is dead at this point and has been killed on the same island he’s at now and two, its heartbreaking bc that means that almost every hero wanted to try out being a hero again despite the laws against it and wanted to try and help someone out and relive their glory days, only to be straight up murdered like fuck that scene is just so fuckin intense
Its here. Doomsday.
Ok so, it’s one of two things regarding the wrath of the triple goddess. Either
A: this is actually written by a ghost writer and NOT RICK (not good bc then that means Rick is simply milking his cash cow dry, which diminishes not only themes in his OWN STORIES but honestly just disrespecting his characters and his VERY LOYAL FANDOM)
OR
B: He is writing the book himself and Rick’s fan service has finally reached its final form, meaning that he has and will continue to dismiss themes and established characterizations and events of his story in favor of just giving the fans what they want, WHICH IS TERRIBLE FOR STORYTELLING BC A FANDOM WILL NEVER, EVER AGREE ON EVERYTHING AND WILL ALWAYS HAVE CHANGING OPINIONS OVER THE YEARS!
What I’m trying to say is that it’s bad. This book is gonna be bad. Disrespectfully bad.
This is what i mean when i say that rick is DIRESPECTING his characters, his own story, and themes in favor of obvious cash grabs, which btw, he has criticsize such things in his own books!
also like. not to rehash old shit but I am so forever pissed about the fact that riordan was SO adamant that percy and annabeth had to take a step back and let other people be the heroes at the end of boo just to fucking. turn around and write about how percy has to get recommendation letters aka just him being the one those fuckers turn to when they need shit done for them. like did you really think that one through there buddy. "they needed to realize that they're not always going to be the ones doing everything" smash cut to them being the ones doing everything always. you could have revisited and expanded literally any other character's storyline, background, etc. instead you completely missed your own goddamn point and retroactively made the message pointless. and then you had the AUDACITY to shove it in with the original series instead of making it its own??? the original series where they were the only ones who could do anything....I'm smacking you upside the head so hard I didn't like your fucking point but at least I didn't walk facefirst into it and still miss it.
Part 2 in the trilogy of sad Noah (Idk what it is i just think he's more fun to draw sad lol :3) For anyone who doesn't know, this is his face for a good 2 episodes (i dont actually know how many im not bothered to check but he was like this for ages) because Emma dumped him or sum, I cannot explain how many FREAKING TRIES, it took me to draw his face, but omg it turned out so good (TW: cringe) Make sad Noah happy again by liking this post :33
Hokenshitsu Izonshou (dhibi)
♡ my edit ♡ pls don’t repost ♡