Projection - Tumblr Posts
"Projection" i had fun doing this, but then i got sick so yeeeeaa
My response to the event I described in my last post. After this event I sent him a whole bunch of ignored texts like" hey can I help you today?" And " i miss you" and loads of other humiliating stuff. It's not terribly interesting and there's plenty other humiliating things to come so we'll jump forward to his response two days later:
Late Night Realization
I didn’t want to buy a house yet, and he was so angry. He threatened to leave me. He told me that I was keeping him down, and that I loved watching him suffer.
My reluctance was my subconscious throwing up warning signs: Get out! Don’t invest financially in this this too!
His threats won, my subconscious lost, and he and I started “living the dream.”
After my indiscretions came to light, he told me that he pursued other options when I showed resistance and had been carrying on periodic dalliances online since then. Though nothing as serious as what I did, of course as he wasn’t that sick. They provided emotional ‘support’ when I was ‘hurting’ him.
He never met up with any of them, so he says, despite having plenty of opportunities. Realistically it doesn’t matter now, and I don’t care if he did.
What stings is that I allowed him to hold me under his thumb and torture me as punishment for my own infidelity. And he was out there likely doing the same thing, or something in the same vein at the very least .
It doesn’t justify what I did, but it does render his disdain and condemnation illegitimate.
This has all just sunk in tonight. If I had any guilt or shame left for what I’ve done, it’s fucking gone now.
Me, in November: What do you want for xmas this year?
Him: You don't make enough money to get me anything I'd want this year. Don't get me anything, seriously. Just do me a favour and save money.
Him, on December 24th: ... I don't see any presents with my name on them... Typical.
Me: ... But you said...
Him: You're so selfish. I really can't believe you. You don't deserve any of the things I got you. You're literally the worst.
“Our minds influence the key activity of the brain, which then influences everything; perception, cognition, thoughts and feelings, personal relationships; they're all a projection of you.”
—Deepak Chopra
~Just because you haven't come to terms with your fears doesn't mean I haven't come to terms with my own. Do not project your fears onto me and expect me to feel them as strongly as you. They belong to you. If you don't want them, sell them to someone who does, but don't give them to me for free when I never asked for them.~
-a poem of a new kind
Projections from the magic lanterns from my show.
Friendly reminder that you are not someone else’s projection. Their judgements are flawed.
You are you. They should get help for whatever they’re going through, but you are NOT responsible for their projection.
Especially if you’re their kid. Your parent(s) have their own shit about themselves they need to figure out, and that is NOT your responsibility.
A headcanon about Billy and Tawky Tawny (the stuffed animal form) because I also have a stuff animal and I want to project
First of all Billy loves tawky so much that sometimes when he feeling love starts to fill up his chest he attacks tawky with a bunch of kisses then hugs him as tight as he can and as long as he can (I do this)
Also when he was little he cut off the tags on tawky because it bothered his skin when he was sleeping/cuddling (sensor sensitivity)
When he cries he uses Tawky's ears to wipe his eyes and when he's scared or anxious he would rub or tug on his tail to calm himself down. He did this a lot when he was at foster homes so he is in pretty rough shape and there's a little tear in tawky we're Billy keeps his most prized possessions in, if they can fit (stuff like a picture of his parents, money, ect)
I love Tawky and Billy's relationship so much!!!
God, I wish I can be your mother who takes care about you and won't abandon you, dear friend.
But I'm traumatized too... And still, I want to care about you the way our mothers didn't take care about us.
