On Life - Tumblr Posts
Not all days are gonna be good days.
i want to learn how to play chess and play it well, i want to pull my piano out and feel that tune iโve had on loop, i want libraries and late night reading, i want to make silly anagrams that are so outrageously specific and dramatic and stupid, i want chai latte, i want rum and crime novels, i want to learn and consume and never be bored again a day in this life.
doomed by the narrative and haunted by the narrative and a secret third thing (narrating the narrative)
finding new interests... particularly in books and media, were you always there simmering under the surface? or are you merely a projection of my love for characters in foreign universes? does that make this merely temporary? does that make me shallow? does it matter anyway?
anyway. anagrams and trauma and criminology and memory studies and yearning and growth and change have been haunting my dreams... it has been quite pleasant.
โhearing hozier recite this song like poetry permanently broke something in me for the better.
happy 10th birthday to one the most iconic songs of this century so far
i thought you were crying wolf, but you weren't. who am i to be so sceptical of your cries? dilapidated by my hands, your life was terminated by my faithlessness in you. is forgiveness something the insentient can give? but how am i to be deserving when i heard your cries so irreverently.
Baie | she/they | unlabled | 18
โ currently listening to: 'david melrose theme' by hauschka, smokey eyes by lincoln, along with elias hix, hozier, noah kahan, gang of youths โ currently reading: all the light we cannot see by anthony doerr and phosphorecence by julia baird
welcome
hello :> it's general chaos around here. possibly some web weaving of my own floating about. but there's not much else to it
about me: australian!! 2006. lover of love and life. infj 4w5. very in love แฐแฉ chaotic good! rediscovering and building my faith :) lqbtqia+
academia: graduated '23!! starting my double degree in โ24! slowly self-teaching japanese แฐแฉ. chaotic academia by blood
the goal: bachelor criminology and criminal justice + psychological science (and maybe cybercrime in the future?)
master list
(links are broken atm, but the tags are correct)
#poems and quotes
#ineptias loqour (my posts)
#study log
#media
#artwork
#music
#musings (a fav of mine)
#meme
#not a meme but that same category of posts
#on christianity
#letters to myself
#that one type of green
#web weaving
#anderson donโt talk out loud. you lower the iqueue of the whole street. (queue tag)
added this section with the tags i use most often so i can find posts later, everything else is just #on *thing* and frankly i can't be bothered with that.
will possibly add links to fandoms and reads... not sure yet. it would be good to have an active list of all the books i read and enjoyed enough to keep a list ofโฆ. hereโs a short list of fandomesque things tho: sherlock, rwby, bts/kpop, d20, sk8 the infinity, good omens, epic the musical, lore olympus webtoon, loki series, fnaf,
books would include: archives of despair by caleb finn, hamlet, good omens, throne of glass series, embassy row series, the song of achilles by madeline miller, they both die at the end duology, the inheritance games series, shadow and bone+six of crows, everything by alice oseman
music as well perhaps? hozier, bts, ericdoa, noah kahan, glaive, cage the elephant, lizzy mcalpine, cave town, mccafferty, chase atlantic, brakence, eden, the front bottoms, (itโs all over the placeโฆ just not much country music tbh)
hereโs the old intro post, haven't decided what to do with it yet
โนหโ เซฎ๊ฐโขเผ โขใ๊ฑแ
ik this is a new account, but iโve been here since july 2020 <3
for what i have done and failed to do i am sorry.
but why? because you have weights on your ankles. they've been there since birth.
โIโm caught between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it.โ
โ Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being A Wallflower
ill be like โive had itโ and two seconds later i will start enduring
crazy how sometimes u dance alone to your favorite song in your bedroom and you are like oh yeah thats why im alive
the undeniable truth of growing up and growing old; sometimes i forget that while we are living we are dying too. makes living more worth while yk.
oh god iโm 17. like i have been, for several months. but it just hit me.
every time i start to feel cringe for being too deep in the hyperfixation i remember the intense depression i have waded through and have to remind myself that enjoyment is fleeting (so grab it with both hands), and life is for loving (so hold that love close), and if anyone thinks iโm cringe they must not be having a very good time (and i hope they can find a good time soon).
hear me out, i would 100% hire people based on their tumblrs, and not in the 'digital identity be professional' sense, but in the 'yes support small business and yes trans rights and yes that fanart is stunning and yes support peoples creative works and yes fuck the government and this 9-5 corporate lifestyle' i like your values, you're hired :>
oh don't fool yourself; it's not the chain you hate. we both know you'd sooner rip skin to blood and bone before letting go. the chafing, the heat from everpresent friction, brings a familiar warmth. you are aimless without your anchor, and that is what terrifies you.
but why? because you have weights on your ankles. they've been there since birth.
the joy of walking quietly through your days, feeling your life wrap gently around you
nothing gives me more peace than knowing that love will come back to me in many ways and different forms. i may have no idea what the future holds for me but at least there will be love. & a lot of it