Nora Valkyrie - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

Nora: I'm just happy to be out of those dorms. So much fresh air. And it's all mine. 😈

Jaune: I personally love the peace and quiet. A guy can really hear themselves think out here.

Jaune: (Thoughts) Did you leave the stove on? The door unlocked? Will you die alone?!

Jaune: Well that was a mistake.

Blake: *Walks into movie theatre, only to see Jaune sitting by himself* Wait, Jaune? Weren't you on a date?

Nora: *Head pops up from Jaune’s lap* He is.

Blake: Oh... Oh, I see. Wait, Nora, aren't you dating Ren?

Ren: *Head also pops up from lap* She is.

Blake: Ah, I see.

Blake: ... Wait.

Jaune: Sorry Summer. Maybe there's another way to get a message across?

Summer: ... !

Ruby: *Sigh* Come on guys let's clean this... Wait a sec. The pieces spell something...

Ren: I...

Yang: ❤️

Ruby: U?

Jaune: You think it means...

_RLY: I love you...

Ren: *Smiles*

Yang: *Chuckles sadly*

Ruby: *About to cry, but stops before she is seen*

Jaune: (Thoughts) Nice one Sum-

Nora: *Starts bawling her eyes out* Mommy! You loved me after all! 😭

Jaune: … Close enough. *Holds his weeping friend close*

Ghosts Of Summer 28: Luigi Board

Jaune: What are we going to do today guys?

Yang: We could go down to Vale.

Ruby: I do need to pick up some parts and ammo.

Yang: I meant to a club or something.

ARL_: No.

Yang: Whatever.

Ren: We do need to complete that assignment for Prof. Port's class.

AR_Y: No.

Ren: I tried.

Jaune: Why don't we-

Nora: *Bursts through the door* What you doing?

Ren: Discussing what we're going to do today.

Nora: Let's talk to ghosts!

Summer: !!!

Jaune: *Nervous* T-talk to ghosts? Don't be ridiculous, you can't do that.

Nora: Yeah you can! With this luigi board!

Ren: You mean a ouija board?

Nora: Nah, I'm pretty sure it's name is Luigi and I ask you to respect his name prefrences.

Ren: ...

Ruby: What's a luigi board?

Yang: You remember that horror movie we watched together last year on your birthday?

Ruby: No.

Yang: Well you did run off five minutes in so that makes sense.

Ruby: I-I didn't run off. I just... had to... do some maintenance...

Yang: Right.

Ren: It's supposed to let you communicate with spirits, but it's really just a board and a shiny rock. In order to really communicate with the spirits you must-

Nora: Yeah yeah yeah, do you guys want to talk to ghosts or what?

Ruby: Sure.

Yang: It's not like we have anything better to do.

Ren: We do, but you aren't going to stop until we do, so alright.

Jaune: Okay, I guess.

Jaune: *Whispering* Do you think that will actually work?

Summer: I have no idea. Might as well try I guess.

***One Luigi setup later***

Nora: Now you just put your hands here and the ghost will use this stone to spell out a message.

Summer: Huh, I actually can move it a little.

Yang: I think it's doing something.

Ruby: It's moving!

Nora: What's it spelling out!?

Ruby: Y

Yang: O

Nora: U

Ruby: R

Yang: M

Nora: O

Ruby: M

Jaune: Your mom?

_RLY+N: MOM!!!???

_RLY: ...

Ruby: Wait, you mom's...

Ren: Deceased, yes.

Ruby: Ms. Ghost, could you be a bit more spe-

Nora: *Smashes the table and destroys the board* THAT'S FOR ABANDONING ME ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD DURING A GRIMM ATTACK YOU BITCH!!!

Jaune: *Sighs* So close.

Jaune: You are grounded. For...

Nora: 🥺

Jaune: ... Till college.

Nora: For till college?!

Jaune: For till college!

Ozpin: Nora Valkyrie, do you take Lie Ren to be your lawful husband, to love and to hold for as long as you both shall live?

Nora: YES! To eternity if I have to!

Ozpin: *Chuckles* And Lie Ren, do you ta-

Ren: Yes.

Ren: Apologies. I can barely contain my excitement right now.

Nora: Oh Renny...

Jaune: *Cries tears of joy on the side*

Ozpin: Well, with the power vested in me by numerous Kingdoms and the God of Light, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the... best man?

Ren: ...

Jaune: What now?

Nora: Are you screwing around with us Oz? Now of all times?

Ozpin: Don't look at me, Oscar went and got this book at the adult section at the library.

Oscar: Sorry guys, that's my b.

Nora: *Sighs* Well, gotta do things by the book I guess. Pucker up Jauney!

Jaune: Nora, I don't think you have t-

Nora: *Grabs Jaunes head and brings it down for a quick sensual kiss*

Audience: *Gasp in shock*

Nora: *Releases Jaune and licks her lips* Did you eat some of the wedding pancakes?! Those were for later!

Ren: I... can't believe what I just witnessed.

Jaune: *Panicking* R-Ren, I'm so sorry! I-

Ren: We've been planning this wedding for months, and you call that a wedding kiss? *Grabs Jaune by the collar and dips him into a intensely passionate kiss for a full minute*

Audience: 😳

Nora: Oh Renny!~

Ren: Mmmmwa! *Finally releases Jaune before unceremoniously dropping him to the ground.* Now then, shall we? *Offers arm*

Nora: We shall! *Takes his arm as the two walk down the aisle, resuming the ceremony as the audience shrug and clap for the newlyweds*

Jaune: *Lays motionless on ground, trying to regain the soul that was just sucked out of him*

Nora: You know, I think I’d do really well in the apocalypse, don’t you think? Aw, who am I kidding? I’d probably get eaten immediately. And not just because my thighs are perfect.

Jaune: Mm, you’d be ok. Although, I am picturing you with an apple in your mouth right now.

Nora: Jaune!

Jaune: Sorry. I’m sure you’d be a very capable... girl. Together we’d probably survive... at least a day. Maybe two.

Jaune: So first I’ll show you how to do the rub.

Nora: I could use a rub. I’m holding a little history test tension right back here. *Groans as she rubs her butt*

Jaune: We’re talking about the bird Nora, we’re gonna rub it.

Nora: Fine, I’ll go second!

Jaune: *Sighs* Ok.

Nora: *Riding in shopping cart* Faster. Faster you beast!

Jaune: *Pushing cart* This is as fast as goes Nora. It has a messed up wheel.

Yang: And a lot of junk in the trunk.

Nora: More to push!

Jaune: Yes, Nora.

Nora: You love it~

Jaune: You know, you guys didn’t have to bring me along on your honeymoon. 

Nora: Aw, it was no issue Jaune. Right Ren? *Holds onto Rens arm*

Ren: Of course. Afterall, it was the least we could do after forgetting your birthday.

Jaune: It wasn’t that bad. Besides, you guys were busy preparing for your wedding, so it wasn’t your faults you forgot.

Nora: Either way, we thought you could enjoy the sights while we did some... newlywed activities. *Giggles like a child, still excited from their recent union*

Jaune: *Chuckles at Nora as he sets down their bags* Well, I guess all I can say is thanks. I’m gonna go grab the last of the luggage. You two just kick back and relax, alright?

Ren: Much appreciated Jaune. *Nods as he and his wife hold one another close, about to close in for a kiss*

Jaune: *Before leaving, he remembers something and pulls out an odd envelope from his pocket* Oh yeah, Ren, I almost forgot, this came in the mail before we left.

Ren: *Raises an eyebrow as he takes the envelope, opening its contents right as Jaune leaves the room*

Nora: Ooh~ That must be our marriage license.

Ren: Nora, this isn’t a marriage license. It’s a... restraining order?

Nora: *Shocked* Oh nuts! I was in such a rush I just grabbed the first form I saw and filled us both in.

Ren: It says we can’t be within... 25 yards of one another.

Nora: But 25 backyards is like... A lot! We got to get this fixed right away!

Ren: Nora, we need to file this to court if we wanna cancel it. And that may take a few days.

Nora: But... Our honeymoon. If we leave, we can’t enjoy it here. We’ve been looking forward to this for months.

Ren: I’m sorry, but unless we wanna risk breaking the law... again, there’s not really any other option.

Nora: No! I refuse! There’s gotta be something we can do to at least enjoy our honeymoon here, without getting in trouble, and until we can get this restraining order sorted out.

Jaune: *Kicks door open before coming in the rest of the luggage* Whew! Got the rest of the luggage guys! Anything else you two need before I head out?

Nora: ...

Ren: ...

RN: *Nod at one another*

Nora: Oh Jauney~ Do you think you could do us a big, BIG, favor?

Jaune: 🤨 ?

(Morning)

Nora: *Eating a nice stack of  chocolate chip pancakes*

Jaune: *Pops in with a bouquet of pink lotus flowers*

Nora: *Smiles as she takes them, waving outside the window to Ren, whom is currently doing some yoga*

(Afternoon)

Ren: *Driving a jet ski through ocean*

Nora: *Laughs joyously as her and Jaune water ski, her sitting atop his shoulders*

Jaune: *In absolute agony, trying his best to keep his balance, hold up Nora, and not vomit from the speed they were going*

(Evening)

Ren: *Ballroom dances with Jaune before releasing him with a spin*

Jaune: *Miraculously maintains his spin as he elegantly makes his way to Nora*

Nora: *Catches him before dropping him down onto the floor in an attempt to dip him*

(Night)

We see Jaune in bed with someone, sweat dripping down his body as he thrusts wildly into them from above. The creaking sound of the bedframe could be heard 5 rooms over, the frame threatening to fall apart with each thrust, as well as the feminine wails of pleasure from his partner. This stops, as with one last push, the two let out loud sensual moan as they climax together, Jaune grinding himself as deep as he could as he filled them to the brim. Sliding himself out, Jaune moves over to the side of the bed, catching his breath before grabbing and pulling up his pants.

Jaune: So... Like that?

Ren: *Pants in exhaustion as he sits himself up* Yes... Just like that. Nora will love it. So don’t keep her waiting.

Jaune: *Sighs* Hope my aura’s ready this. *Stands up and cracks his back before rushing off to go break out Nora’s*

Ren could hear his footsteps as Jaune made his way over to the guestroom, where Nora had been patiently waiting. The rooms here had such thin walls, he wouldn’t be surprised if Nora had heard every bit of him and Jaunes passionate fornication. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if that only aroused her more.

Nora: Took ya long enough! Now come to mama fearless leader~ 

Ren lets out a small smile as he hears Jaune and Nora quickly begin their own bout of sexual intercourse, sounding just as wild and passionate as his own, if not more so. A yawn escaping his mouth, Ren decides it’s time to get some shut eye, excited to see what the next day brought them. Afterall...

That was just the first day of their honeymoon.

(2 Weeks Later)

RWBY: *Waiting by the bullheads to greet the newlyweds once they returned*

Ruby: *Eye widened as her friends came into view* Hey, there they are!

Yang: It’s about time. *Squints her eyes in confusion* Wait, why are those two standing so far apart from one another?

Blake: *Shrugs* Beats me. Looks like they enjoyed their time though.

Yang: *Smirks* How much you wanna bet it’s because they spent most of it breaking in their bed?

Weiss: Do you have to make everything so vulgar Yang?

Yang: Jeez Weissy, it’s just a joke. No need to be such a pru... Is Vomit Boy ok?

Blake: He looks like he’s been drained of every ounce of vitality he had.

Ruby: You think Ren and Nora had him do a lot of work for them?

Before they could continue, they watch as Jaune collapses onto the ground. The team quickly rushes over to their friend, wondering if he was alright. They come across Ren and Nora, having not moved to check on their leader for some reason, instead lower their heads in grief for their fallen teammate.

Ren: He was a good man.

Nora: *A tear fall down her cheek* And virile lover.

Ren: ... Yes.

RWBY: *Looks at the two in confusion, no clue as to what was even happening... that is until one of them happened to remember something*

Yang: ... Wait. Does this have something to do with joke restraining order I sent you?

Jaune: I'm the Hunts-Man, you lunatic. Anyway, you guys got any 'shrooms?

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Bystander: Are you... An angel!?

Jaune: Yeah, sure, whatever... You got any ketamine?

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Jaune: I know you're here, Roman, you big fucking nerd. Where's my goddamn money?

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Grunt #1: Be careful, man. I hear Hunts-Man attacks with all sorts of random bullshit.

Grunt #2: Please. I got him dead to rights. Now to-

Jaune: *Throws something* Random bullshit GO!!!

Grunt #1: Damn you Hunts-Man!

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Jaune: I am the god of light. Hand over your wallet and your ketamine or Remnant is doomed.

Marrow: Fuck off, Hunts-Man. I'm not falling for that one again.

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Jaune: ... Why do I hear Eminem all of a sudden?

Hound: *Looming over him*

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Clover: Someone's hacking the system, but who? Hunts-Man!

Jaune: Where's my goddamn money!?

Harriet: No-one here owes you money, you drunk, crazy asshole. Roman isn't even on the Ace-Ops, so stop calling here.

Jaune: Wait... Roman isn't an Ace-Op?

Jaune: That lying fuck.

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Jaune: You know who I really want to fight? Junior.

Elm: Wait, the asparagus from VeggieTales? Or the crime lord?

Jaune: ... Yes.

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Jaune: Honestly? At this point, I don't even remember why Roman owes me money. But a guy's got to live by a code, you know?

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Vine: It's over, Hunts-Man! I have the high ground!

Jaune: Impossible. Do you even know how many drugs I'm on right now?

Vine: That's not what I-

Jaune: Less talk, more VENGEANCE!!

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Nora: Dammit, Jauney, let someone else have a turn for once!

Jaune: No! Ren is my homie... Only I get to give him a goodnight kiss!

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Jaune: Using my Marine Corps training, I can turn ANYTHING into a weapon! Even this rifle!

Watts: Uh, isn't a rifle already a weapon?

Jaune: *Snaps rifle in half and smacks him across the face* Semper Fi, bitch!

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Jaune: God of Darkness, you fucking nerd! Where's my... Uhhh what are you doing?

G.o.D: Don't let her get me. I didn't mean to look at those lewd hieroglyphics! Forget if gods can bleed. Can a god simp?!

Jaune: What the fuck are you talki-

G.o.D: *Grabs him* I was horny, Jaune Arc. And now, Salem is going to quantum bonk me!

Jaune: Who is going to what now??

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Roman: *Half dead inside of grimm* What? It's impossible. It can't be... A way out! And... the Hunts-Man!?

Jaune: That's right, bitch! Now where's my goddamn money? Don't make me come down there and waterboard you, shitheel.

traditional art for a change!

ren and nora showing their leader some love(they've missed him so much)

Jaune + Ruby: *Resting in the shade*

Nora: *Racing towards them* JAUNE! RUBY!

Jaune: Huh?

Ruby: So loud. It's way too hot for your craziness, Nora.

Nora: Ren's getting hit on!

JNR: *Running through the streets at top speed*

Jaune: Formation B!

NR: Roger!

Ren: *Talking to a girl*

NR: Renny!

Ruby: *Latches onto him* Who is that woman?! Have you forgotten the night you toasted to my eyes?! That night!?

Nora: *Also latches onto him* Was it all a lie when you said your time with me was the most enjoyable of all?!

Ren: ... What?

Jaune: Could you not touch him so casually, please... YOU HOMEWRECKERS?!

Ren: ?

Jaune: Renny has guitar practice with me now. Let's go home, Renny. Today, I'll have you master "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star~." *Wink*

Ren: *Turns to the girl* Please, don't mind them. Keep going straight ahead and you'll reach the station.

Random Girl: Thank you so much. *Bows before leaving*

JNR: Huh?

Ren: Alright, seriously, what was that? Could you guys not, please? You're embarrassing me.

Nora: *In detention for Nora-related shenanigans* ...

Jaune: *Also in detention for Nora-related shenanigans* ...

Nora: Last night, I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup. And you were mustard.

Jaune: ?...

Nora: Which is weird because usually you're mayonnaise in my dreams. Why do you suppose that is?

Jaune: 🤨

Ruby: What? The two us alone for a long stretch of time, something's definitely gonna happen.

Jaune: Ruby, I assure you, I would never do something like that to you.

Ruby: Who said you'd be the one to initiate it?

Jaune: ...

Nora: ... You go girl.

Nora: If you went on an adventure with only Jaune, what would happen?

Ruby: I'd come back pregnant.

Jaune: You'd what!?