Marauders Imagines - Tumblr Posts

Red Masterlist

State of Grace - Spencer Reid x Reader

Red - Sirius Black x Reader

Treacherous - Aaron Hotchner x Reader

I Knew You Were Trouble - Loki x Reader

All Too Well - James Potter x Reader

22 - Spencer Reid x reader

I Almost Do - Derek Morgan x Reader

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Stay Stay Stay - AG's Peter Parker x Reader

The Last Time - AG's Peter Parker x reader

Holy Ground -

Sad Beautiful Tragic -

The Lucky One - Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

Everything Has Changed - James Potter x Reader

Starlight -

Begin Again - Derek Morgan x Reader

The Moment I Knew - AG Peter Parker x Reader

Come Back...Be Here - Emily Prentiss x Reader

Girl at Home -

Eyes Open -

Safe & Sound -

Better Man -

Message In A Bottle -

I Bet You Think About Me -

Forever Winter -

Run -

The Very First Night -

All Too Well (10 Minute Version) -

Everything Has Changed

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here for Red (Taylor’s Version) masterlist

Add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘All I know is we said 'hello' and your eyes look like coming home.’

Notes - We’re celebrating Red (Taylor’s Version) here and I’ll be doing imagines for each song on the album so if you have a request (any fandom I write for) send it in!

It was September 1st, the day you had been dreaming about since finding out you were a witch. As you crossed the barrier taking you to Platform 9 3/4 you couldn’t help but take a step closer to your parents. Yes, you had wanted this day to come for so long but now that it was here it was incredibly daunting.

“You’ll be fine, Y/N.” Your parents assured you, making sure your trunk was where it needed to be. You hugged them tightly before stepping onto the train, face going pale as you saw all the other students.

You walked further onto the train, trying to find an empty compartment but it seemed like an impossible task.

“Hello,” a voice said, startling you. Was he talking to you? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Definitely talking to you then.

You turned around, coming face to face with a boy. He was taller than you and had messy jet black curls, perched on his nose was a pair of glasses and he looked at you with warm, brown eyes.

“Would you like to sit with us?” He asked, holding the compartment door open for you. The boy smiled as he watched relief fill your features, a friendly smile spreading across his face.

“If you and your friends don’t mind?” You said, gesturing to the two other boys sitting next to each other.

“Of course not, please come in.” The boy said.

“Thank you.” You replied, shuffling past them and taking a seat opposite the boy with short brown hair.

“I’m James by the way, James Potter and these are Sirius Black,” Here the boy turned his attention to you as he shot you a grin, his bright grey eyes capturing your attention. You smiled back at him, giving him a small wave which made his smile grow wider. “And this is Remus Lupin.” The other boy gave you a shy smile.

“It’s nice to meet you all, I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N. Thank you for letting me sit with you.” You said, smiling at each of them, before turning to James.

“You’re welcome. You’re not from a wizarding family, are you?” James asked, causing you to laugh softly.

“Is it that obvious?” You asked back, causing James and Sirius to chuckle.

“Kind of but it’s ok. Hogwarts is great…” James began before him and Sirius began filling you in on what you needed to know about Hogwarts and the wizarding world.

As the train got closer to Hogwarts you found yourself relaxing into your seat, laughing along with the boys. When the food trolley rolled around James and Sirius bought enough food and sweets to last at least a week or two causing you to giggle before you all tucked in.

You find yourself gravitating to James on the journey there, something about him made you feel at ease, he made you feel like you could be brave.

“You said something about the houses earlier,” you began, fiddling with a card from the chocolate frog, still amazed at the moving portrait that could leave the frame, “what house are you all hoping for?”

Sirius’ face darkened for a moment before it shifted into a smirk, “I’m hoping for Gryfindor, that’ll really please Mother.”

James laughed but you weren’t sure why but shrugged it off for now.

“Most of my family is from Gryffindor so I’m hoping for that too.” James told you as he turned to face you.

Conversation flowed easily between the four of you and you hoped that they would still talk to you when you were sorted.

As the train pulled up and first years were led away from the other students, you felt your nerves beginning to grow again. Your stomach felt sick as anxiety began to fester. James, who had made sure you didn’t get lost in the flow of students, saw you looking pale and gave you a small smile before squeezing your hand in his.

“You’ll be fine,” He assured you as the boats took you across the lake, the sight of the castle only adding to your fear. “I’ll be with you the whole time.” He promised and you forced a smile onto your face before squeezing his hand back.

“Thank you.” You managed to whisper, causing him to smile.

It wasn’t long before you were walking down the length of the Great Hall, the deafening silence did little to calm your nerves. James walked behind you, in between glances of the hall his gaze drifted back to you, him smiling sympathetically as he saw the tenseness in your shoulders.

Name after name was called, your peers each walked up to a stool. Some looked as nervous, if not more nervous than you felt, whereas some others strode up and sat confidently on the chair, waiting for the enchanted hat to be put upon their heads.

You watched as James was called up, he looked confident, not flinching as the ancient hat was put on top of his head. You stared up with wide eyes as the hat needed barely any time to decide. It shouted ‘Gryffindor’ causing James to grin. He made his way over to the table, sliding into a free space opposite Sirius.

After what felt like an eternity your name was finally called.

“Y/LN, Y/F/N.”

You didn’t move, nerves had you frozen in place and it wasn’t until you felt a hand brush against yours that you jolted. You turned to look at who touched you, seeing Remus there with a soft, encouraging smile. You forced yourself to smile back shakily before your feet began moving.

You perched yourself on the edge of the stool, eyes darting around the Great Hall before the view was obscured by the old hat.

“Hmm, interesting, very interesting,” The hat sat causing you to jump, “A good mind, resourceful, you have the ability to be fairly cunning Miss Y/L/N. But more than that is a great deal of bravery,” it said and you barely managed to suppress a snort, a great deal of bravery it had said, you weren’t feeling very brave right now. “No, no, not now but in time. You’ll be fiercely protective of those you consider family, you’ve got a good amount of courage, daring too, quite the risk taker. I know, I know,” the hat said for only you to hear before it bellowed out into the silence of the Great Hall, “better be…Gryffindor!”

Professor McGonagall lifted the hat from your head and your eyes immediately sought out the two boys you’d met on the train. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw they were clapping loudly, letting out happy cheers as you made your way over to them, taking a seat next to James.

“Told you you’d be fine.” He murmured as he grinned over at you. Despite the nerves you’d been feeling all day long, you couldn’t help but return the grin, feeling more relaxed now that you were sorted.

It wasn’t long before everyone else was sorted into their house, the boys and you all beaming at each other as Remus was placed in your house. The feast was unlike anything you’d ever seen before and now that your nerves had calmed down you were able to enjoy the magical happenings around you, from the magically appearing food to the floating candles to the ghosts that popped out of nowhere.

You ate more food than you could handle and giggled along with the boys. As the evening came to a close with the headmaster rising from his seat, you glanced at James who was already looking at you. You couldn’t help but smile softly at him and James didn’t hesitate to return it.

“First years, follow me.” The Gryffindor prefect said.

You all stood and made your way out of the Hall, your head turning in every direction. Portraits and paintings littered the walls, all of the people within them moved freely from one frame to the other. You were so captivated by them you hadn’t noticed the group turning a corner.

James glanced back and smiled over at you as he turned around and made his way over to you.

“Come along, Y/L/N.” He said, causing you to jump slightly before turning to face him. You glanced around seeing you had lost track of the prefect leading you to the common room and flushed slightly.

James just laughed and took your hand in his before leading you in the direction you were supposed to be heading.

That night as you lay in bed, feeling alone in the girls dorm, you couldn’t quite get the sight of James’ brown eyes, the messy curls and soft smile out of your head and you couldn’t wait to get to know him better.

-

“Seriously, Potter?” You yelled as you stomped down the stairs leading into the common room.

Nobody looked up at your shout, all too used to the antics from you and the boys. The four of you were closer than anything and despite being the only girl in the group that didn’t exclude you from their pranks and today was no exception.

“Hello Y/N, I must say, I love the pink hair.” James said as he looked up at you, a grin spreading across his face that he couldn’t fight back if he tried.

Watching as you glared at him only made him smile wider.

“You know I’m going to get you back for this, Potter.” You said, as you picked up a pillow on the couch and hit him with it before flopping down next to him.

“Yes, yes, I’ll be waiting anxiously for your comeback.” He laughed, causing you to hit him again before hugging the pillow to your chest and turning to face him.

“You’re such a jerk.” You told him. The smile on your face showing how much you didn’t mean the statement made him laugh again.

“Ah, good thing I’m your favourite then, isn’t it?” Here he turned his head, his cheek resting against the couch, as he looked at you with puppy dog eyes and an over exaggerated pout.

“Hmm, I suppose you are.” You replied with a roll of your eyes.

It had been four years since you’d first met James, you and him had grown closer and closer each day before you were inseparable. Since day one James had taken a shine to you, making sure you were ok, if people tried to pick on you, purebloods from Slytherin had taken a liking to you too, James was quick to put them in their place both at the age of eleven and fourteen.

“McGonagall is going to kill us when she sees this hair.” You told James.

“Us?” He shot back, raising an eyebrow at you. “You’re the only one with pink hair here, Y/N/N.” He smirked.

“Oh come on,” you groaned and when you raised the pillow again he held his hands up in surrender, “Who else is going to spike my shampoo with hair dye?”

“You made an excellent point, Y/L/N.” James laughed, reaching over to take a strand of dyed hair in between his fingers, twirling it around.

“I hate potions.” You groaned, leaning closer to James who smiled sympathetically at you. It was no secret you were hopeless with anything potions related, thankfully you were able to be paired with James who seemed to thrive in every single class. You didn’t feel bad about letting him take over the practical side of the class as you focused on note taking.

James had tried to teach you where he could but he had had one too many cauldrons blow up in his face.

“I know you do.” He said softly, moving his hand from your hair so he could wrap his arm around your shoulder. You happily shifted closer.

It wasn’t long before Sirius and Remus came down the stairs and after more laughing about your hair the four of you headed down to the dungeons for potions.

Slughorn’s voice began to grate on you. He had never been your favourite teacher but today you just were not in the mood for him. James watched you glare at him as he ran through the properties of Weedosoros and chuckled softly to himself.

“Who teaches teenagers how to brew poison?” He heard you mutter to yourself, “Great idea professor, maybe I’ll get really good at potions and have you try my Weedosoros.” Here James couldn’t help but snort, causing you to turn and face him.

“If you get good at potions, I run naked through the Great Hall.” He whispered, causing you to smirk.

“Well I wouldn’t strip out of that robe just yet.” You laughed quietly, nothing in the world could make you good at potions.

As Slughorn continued to speak James found himself growing bored too, even though he didn’t mind potions class, double potions first thing in the morning wasn’t ideal. You and him sat in the back row, closest to the door, and James looked to Slughorn, who was focused on the board, unaware of the blank stares and the one or two students who were sleeping, before looking back at you.

“C’mon.” James whispered, nudging your arm. You raised an eyebrow as he picked his bag up and gestured for you to do the same.

“Ready?” James mouthed, taking a final glance at Slughorn who had yet to turn around.

“Ready.” You replied despite not knowing what was happening. James gestured to the door and took your hand in his. Counting down from three, he pulled you from your chair and the two of you managed to escape the room, Slughorn none the wiser.

“Where are we going?” You giggled as James dragged you down the hallway, the two of you running past the shouting portraits.

“You’ll see.” James said and when the two of you finally stopped, you more so out of breath than James who played quidditch any chance he could get, you raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” He said, “We missed breakfast.” You laughed as he tickled the pear, watching as it transformed into a green door handle.

The house elves were more than happy to have visitors, pushing more food than either of you could carry into your hands and as you bid them goodbye both your bags were considerably heavier than they had been only moments ago.

“What’s your plan now, Potter? We’ve still got an hour and a half before we’re supposed to be out of class.” James didn’t reply instead he slipped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you against him before leading the way to the entrance hall.

From there you were taken down to the Great Lake. James sat down on the grass before pulling at your hand and gesturing for you to sit too. The lake looked beautiful, it stretched as far as your eyes could see, hills and mountains on either side.

James and you sat together in a comfortable silence, food spread out between the two of you. The sound of waves crashing together in the distance could be heard, the air was slightly chilly but bearable.

It didn’t take either of you long to finish eating, plenty of food left over thanks to the generosity of the house elves. James shifted so his legs were spread out in front of him and he rummaged through his bag, pulling out a yellowing book, the spine was cracked and the cover was worn.

You moved to lay down, resting your head on his lap as he opened the book, you heard the sound of pages being flipped as you looked up at the sky, squinting up at the clouds drifting pass.

You let your eyes fall closed as the sound of James’ voice filled the silence, his tone soft and low and you couldn’t help but smile as you listened to him. As he got further into the book you let your eyes open slowly, lazily gazing up at the sky before turning to face James.

There was something about the peacefulness of the lake, the soft and quiet sounds of waves crashing, birds chirping, creatures rustling leaves in the woods and the soothing voice of James that made you feel inexplicably happy. Out here, just you and James, it was…easy. The two of you were yourselves out here.

You shook your head, wondering where on earth that thought had come from. You looked away from James before he could catch you staring and instead focused on the sound of his voice.

-

One day it was like something clicked into place for you. That morning you had woken up, it was Valentine’s Day so the entire castle had been decked in pink for the week and your little group had been surrounded by girls desperately trying to get the boys attention.

You’d lost track of how many times they had been asked out but each time a girl approached James you felt something twist inside you. You couldn’t explain why these girls asking James out had bothered you so much, you were in your sixth year of Hogwarts and James was an attractive man, it wasn’t like James had never been asked out before.

So why did it bother you now?

The question had plagued you for weeks and this morning when you woke up, the first thing on your mind was those warm brown eyes, those mess of curls and a soft smile that made you feel safe. That’s when it hit you.

You liked James Potter.

You liked James Potter a whole lot, despite already being attached at the hip you wanted to spend all your time with him, despite knowing so much about him you wanted to get to know him even better, despite the fact that he was your best friend you wanted him to be more.

As you lay in bed that morning, refusing to get out of bed, never being more thankful that it was a weekend, you thought back to when you had met James. Since that moment he said hello to you and held the door of the compartment open for you, you realise now, looking back that’s when everything started. James had smiled at you and you’d never left his side since.

You realised that as you looked into his eyes, nowhere else felt more like home. When you saw him smile, you couldn’t help but mirror it back no matter how bad you were feeling. When things got too much for either of you and you snuck down to the lake, staying there until everything was better.

You liked James Potter.

Just thinking about it made your stomach fill with butterflies. It was the beautiful kind of butterflies, the ones that had you blushing just thinking about him. The kind that made you want to find James and confess everything, the kind that made you feel how James made you feel…giddy.

You liked James Potter.

It was like that thought had changed everything.

When you finally pulled yourself out of bed and headed down the stairs you were greeted to James’ smirk.

“What time do you call this?” He laughed, gesturing to the seat next to him.

Everything felt different, you hardly knew how to act around James now.

You laughed, though it was slightly forced, and took the seat next to him on the couch. His eyebrows knitted together at the distance you’d put between the two of you but he quickly solved it by pulling you against him, his arm wrapping around your shoulder.

Conversation quickly turned back to whatever they’d been talking about before you showed up but you were more content to lay against James, his fingers tracing random patterns on your arm causing you to smile softly.

“You ok?” He whispered into your ear when Sirius and Remus were more focused on their conversation.

You hesitated for a moment, shifting so you could lean up and look at him. He was beautiful, the fire reflected in his brown eyes, giving them a red tinge and you thought that you could get lost in them given the chance.

You shook your head slightly in an attempt to clear your thoughts before you smiled up at James.

“I’m good.” You told him, the look he gave you showed he wasn’t convinced but he let it go.

“What are your plans, Y/N?” Sirius asked, causing you to look away from James.

“Plans?” You asked in confusion, watching as Sirius laughed whilst rolling his eyes.

“Keep up, Y/L/N.” He groaned, making you laugh. You missed the look James was giving you as he watched you laugh against him but Sirius and Remus caught it and shared a look between themselves. “Plans for Valentine’s Day.”

“You asking me out, Black?” You smirked.

“I’m afraid our love shall have to wait another day,” Sirius told you dramatically, “for I have a date with the beautiful Amelia.”

“Good luck with that,” You said, honestly surprised that Amelia had agreed to a date. “As for me, I shall be here, awaiting your return.” You said, causing them to laugh.

“Come on, you have to have a date!” Sirius exclaimed, frowning as you shook your head.

“I was asked but…” Here you trailed off, not knowing how to end the sentence. At first you hadn’t had a reason for rejecting the offers you had received, most of them were fairly decent looking guys but you hadn’t felt anything more than annoyance as they asked you.

Now though, after this morning's revelations you knew exactly why you had turned them down because despite how good looking they were…they weren’t James Potter.

“I’ll keep you company.” James said, causing you to look up at him again.

“You don’t have a date?” You asked, watching as he shook his head. “Well if the captain of the quidditch team can’t get a date, is there hope for the rest of us?” You groaned, watching as James laughed.

“I’d rather hang out with you than with anyone that asked me out.” And that was a statement, wasn’t it? You had seen some of the girls asking James out, they were stunningly beautiful and probably wouldn’t make a cauldron explode in his face and yet here he was saying he’d rather have your company.

What were you supposed to think about that?

“I’d rather hang out with you too.” You told him quietly, it was the closest you were going to get to confessing your feelings but for now it would have to be enough.

“Where are we going?” You asked later on that evening. Most students were in Hogsmeade on dates and you were ready to spend a night with James in the common room when he had entered, raising an eyebrow at your comfy attire before telling you to change.

“You’ll see.” He said and it wasn’t long before he was pulling you along down the old, familiar trail that led to your spot by the late.

As you rounded the corner to your spot you stopped in your tracks, letting out a gasp as you took in the scene. Small tea candles floated in the air, giving the darkness of the night a soft, orange glow. A blanket had been laid down on the grass, slightly larger candles rested upon it, adding to the atmosphere. There was a basket and two glasses placed on the blanket too.

You turned to look at James who looked nervously at you. You were left speechless and he couldn’t tell if it was a good sign or not but when your lips stretched into a grin, he let out the breath he had been holding and grinned back at you.

“What is all this?” You asked softly, the warm glow of candles made you want to maintain the peaceful atmosphere created.

James shifted before clearing his throat. He looked down at his feet before looking you in the eyes.

“I like you, Y/N.” He confessed and felt a huge weight fall from his shoulders, no matter how this went, at least you’d know how he felt. “I really like you and I hate that it took me this long to realise it. I should have realised it all those years ago, Merlin’s beard, Y/N/N, I should have realised it the moment we said hello. When I held that door open for you I should have known then that one day you could be mine and I would be yours, no matter how you felt. All I’ve been able to think about for weeks, months, is you. You’re beautiful Y/E/C eyes, that smile that has never once not made me smile back. Merlin, please tell me there’s something here and that this isn’t all just in my mind.” James said, rushing through his speech like he’d been rehearsing it for a while.

You were beaming at him by the time he had finished, cheeks flushed red and not because of the cold. God, how foolish you both were.

“I like you too, James. When I realised I liked you I was terrified because I thought everything would change for the worse and I didn’t even let myself consider the possibility that you would like me back, that everything had changed for good.” You told him, watching as he gave you the softest smile you’d ever seen on his face.

“I like you so much, Y/N, and I want to make up for all that time we lost being idiots who didn’t realise. I already know plenty about you but I want to know everything about you.” James said as he stepped forward, he reached up cupping your cheek in his hands and despite the cold air, your cheek were warm to touch, making him smile wider.

He gave you time to pull away but you didn’t move, not until his lips were against you. You kissed him back, the kiss started off soft and slow but all the time you’d spent not admitting your feelings had built up causing the kiss to turn. It was hot and messy and the two of you only pulled away when a sudden coldness washed over you.

The pair of you looked up, laughing at the rain that came from nowhere. It was the kind of rain that meant you were drenched through in a matter of seconds, hair and clothes sticking uncomfortably to you pretty quickly.

But that didn’t matter as you and James laughed before he pulled you in for another kiss, this time his arms snaked around your waist and you rested yours around his neck, fingers coming up to play with wet hair.

The two of you stayed outside for way longer than you should have but when you finally pulled away James rested his forehead against yours.

“Sorry we didn’t get to eat.” He said, watching as you glanced over at the soaking wet blanket and the basket.

“That’s ok,” you giggled before brushing your lips against him, “we’re going to be so sick tomorrow.”

“We should head back.” James smiled, entwining his fingers with yours.

You glanced down at your joined hands before looking up at James who, despite being drenched through, looked incredibly handsome and he was looking at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world despite the fact that you had mascara running down your cheeks and you were equally as wet.

Everything has changed, you thought to yourself, and the next day as you and James cuddled together on the couch both suffering from a cold, you couldn’t help but smile because everything has changed but it was the best type of change.

------------

James Potter Taglist - @haroldpotterson, @lovinnholland, @rottenstyx, @asherhunterx, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair, @mrs-scottmccall, @roseslovedreams , @j-cat

@janesofia7, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @wierdstark, @chickensrule, @rosaliedepp (sorry if you've been notified about this like seven times, tumblr has been broke for me)

Red

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here for Red (Taylor’s Version) masterlist

Add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘Moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red.’

Notes - Smut

Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun.

You had liked Sirius for months now, it was easy to like him. He was charming, charismatic, one flash of that smile had you weak in the knees - you and every other girl at Hogwarts. Sirius wasn’t an idiot, he knew the effect he had on the girls and nobody was surprised when he had a new girl on his arm every week.

You had never been one of those girls and even though you knew it was terrible to want to be, you couldn't deny that given the chance you would be his girl of the week. This week it was a girl in your year, you didn’t particularly like her but seeing her on Sirius’ lap made you roll your eyes as you passed them, neither of them noticing you as they made out on the bench they were on.

“Party at Gryffindor tower tonight, you in?” Your friend asked you as you rounded the corner.

The thought of saying no crossed your mind, not wanting to spend the night obsessing over Sirius but something within you was nagging you to go.

“Sure.” You agreed, watching as your friend grinned at you and began talking about outfits.

You tuned her out all the way to potions and spent the rest of the lesson trying to push Sirius out of your mind.

By the time the party rolled around you were ready to cancel but somehow your friends ended up pushing you into going. As you entered the common room you couldn’t help but relax as the music and laughter washed over you.

“Let’s get a drink.” Someone from your group said and it wasn’t long before one drink turned into four and you were feeling the full effect of the alcohol coursing through your veins.

You found yourself in the middle of the common room which was being used as a dance floor, letting the music guide your movements. You weren’t sure just how much time had passed before you felt an arm slip around your waist and a warm body pressing up against your back.

“Having fun?” You recognised Sirius’ voice straight away, his tone deep and low as he pulled you further against him, dancing rhythmically against you. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin as his lips pressed against your neck in a gentle kiss.

You couldn’t help but turn your head upwards, giving him better access. You could feel him smirk against you before he obliged and began pressing kisses into your skin, you bit your lip before gasping as you felt him suck on the delicate skin. He kept sucking and let his arms that were still wrapped around your waist explore your body, one trailed upwards, brushing over your breast and the other went downwards, resting on the top of your thigh.

The feeling of him sucking on your neck was more intense than you would have ever thought, that mixed with his hands on your body had you letting out an involuntary whimper. You were more than aware that you were still in the middle of the common room but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when Sirius Black was pressed up behind you, finally noticing you.

You let out another whimper as Sirius let his teeth graze against the spot he’d been sucking before pulling away, not going far, and whispered in your ear.

“How about we head upstairs?” You couldn’t have said no even if you wanted to, something about him was addicting and now that you’d had a taste you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go.

At your nod he pressed another kiss to your neck before pulling away and guiding you up the stairs. You had no idea how the stairs let you into the boys dorm but the thought left your mind as soon as it had entered.

Once you were in the boys dorm and the door was shut, Sirius pinned you against it, wasting no time in crashing his lips against yours, the kiss was raw, it was desperate and needy. Your hands were finally tangled in his long hair as his hands gripped your face and you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Sirius pulled away from you, a trail of spit keeping the two of you attached to each other before his lips connected with your neck again. Your head hit the wooden door behind you as you threw it back, moaning in pleasure as he wasted no time sucking at different spots on your neck.

Your cheeks were flushed as Sirius finished up on your neck, trailing open mouthed kisses down your neck, along your collarbone before stopping at the top of your shirt. His fingers found the hem and he was quick to pull it over your head, leaving you standing in your bra.

You watched him lick his lips before he helped you take the bra off, his mouth going straight for your breast. He took one in his mouth, as his hand came up to knead the other. You moaned at the stimulation, your hands coming up to grip his hair as he showed no signs of slowing down, though you did feel him smirk against you.

When Sirius pulled away you had no time to recover as his lips found yours again. As he kissed you hard, hard enough to bruise, he pulled you away from the door and, without pulling away, blindly led you over to his bed.

It wasn’t long before you were underneath him, Sirius in between your legs as he continued to kiss you. It was rushed and animalistic and you couldn’t get enough. You pushed your hips up, letting yourself brush against his dick causing you both to moan into the kiss.

Sirius took the hint and pulled away, his hands trailing down your stomach and stopping at the top of your jeans. He made quick work of unbuttoning them and helped pull them down before throwing them off to the side of the room.

With the adrenaline and alcohol pumping through your system you had no time to feel self conscious, though you did pull his shirt off of him as you saw he was still fully clothed and you were laying there in your panties that were already beginning to get wet.

Sirius was quick to strip out of his own clothes before turning his attention back to you, pressing his lips against yours again. He let his hands trail down, brushing against your panties and smirking as he felt the wetness through them.

“Feel good, baby?” He asked, nipping at your jawline. You couldn’t reply, just let out a loud, needy moan as his fingers gently stroked you through your underwear.

Sirius wasted no time in lowering himself so his face was between your legs. He pressed a kiss against your thigh before hooking his fingers around your panties, pulling them off and tossing them out into the room.

You were a moaning mess as Sirius attached his lips to your clit, his fingers still brushing against you as he sucked and licked you. His fingers kept teasing your entrance, pushing in gently before he withdrew them causing you to let out loud groans of both pleasure and annoyance.

Without warning two fingers pushed into you causing you to arch against the bed, you felt Sirius chuckle around you causing you to moan louder as the chuckle vibrated against your clit. You were panting as he pumped his fingers inside you, his pace quickening each time. One of your hands was in his hair, fingers clutching the dark curls, holding him in place whilst the other gripped the bedsheet tightly.

“Sirius, Sirius please,” You cried out, the feeling of both his fingers and his mouth becoming too much.

Sirius pulled away and leaned up to connect his lips to yours, both of you moaning into it. The kiss was filthy, you could taste yourself on his tongue as you both messily kissed each other.

Before you could even register it Sirius was lining himself up against you and sliding in causing you to whimper in pleasure, your eyes screwing shut as Sirius sucked on your neck. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, fingernails digging into his back.

Once he was in and made sure you were ok, Sirius wasted no time. His rhythm was unrelentingly hard and fast, a fine line between pain and pleasure had you a moaning mess, Sirius’ name falling out of your mouth like a prayer as you pleaded for more.

Sirius was moaning against your neck, face buried against it as he thrusted into you. You were incoherent at this point, the only name on your lips was Sirius’ and it wasn’t long before you were pleading with him, begging him to let you come.

“That’s it baby,” He murmured against your neck, letting his teeth graze across the sensitive skin, “you feel so good, come for me, baby.” He continued, praising you as he fucked you fast and hard.

It wasn’t long before you were clenching around Sirius causing him to let out a low moan. You cried out as you orgasmed and Sirius wasn’t found behind as he came inside you with a moan of his own.

The two of you lay there for a moment, the air hot and heavy as the two of you panted for breath. Sirius was the first to move, pulling out of you carefully and picking his wand up from the nightstand. He made quick work of cleaning the two of you up and then collapsed down beside you in the bed, pulling you into his arms so your head lay on his chest.

“You okay baby?” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

You were still slightly out of it, everything about tonight felt wild and passionate and overwhelming so you just nodded against him and let your arm rest against his stomach.

Sirius smiled down at you, letting his fingers trace your skin.

“Go to sleep, Y/N.” He murmured, smile growing as you nodded sleepily against his chest.

It wasn’t long before you fell asleep in Sirius’ arms.

You were the first to wake, the curtains around the bed had been drawn and you assumed the other boys were back in the room. You didn’t want to get up yet, didn’t want to leave Sirius’ embrace, the feeling of his arms around your waist, holding you close…it was easy to pretend this was real.

You let your fingers gently trace his chest, touching him like this made you realise that this was what you wanted. You wanted Sirius Black and you didn’t know how you were going to give him up after one night with him. This one night with him was perfect, it felt like the colours in autumn, so bright, so beautiful, but you could see the end too, when the autumn leaves died and fell, that was what was destined to happen here - one incredibly great night and then whatever was between you and Sirius was supposed to shrivel up and die.

Except that’s not what happened…

That morning Sirius woke up, his arms still holding you close. He brought you in for a soft kiss and the two of you spent the morning in his bed, lazily kissing and giggling as he told you stories of pranks and mischief and you told him stories about yourself.

From there the two of you headed down to the Great Hall, Sirius’ arm thrown around your shoulders and holding you close. During the meal he kept up the conversation, not bothering with anyone else around you.

You figured that it was finally your chance to be the girl of the week, not just a one night stand but someone for Sirius to keep around before he got bored. And you shouldn’t have been ok with that, you knew you deserved more than that, but spending time with Sirius was worth it.

So when week two came and Sirius slid into the seat next to you for breakfast, wrapping his arm around you and kissing your lips, you could only look at him in confusion.

“What?” He grinned as he plucked a piece of fruit from your plate.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked him, eyebrows knitting together in your confusion.

“Ouch and here I was thinking you liked me.” He said, dramatically holding a hand to his chest causing your friends to laugh.

You didn’t respond, you didn’t know how to respond. Sirius Black had never been with the same girl for longer than a week, it was common knowledge.

So why was he back?

“What’re you doing this weekend?” He asked you as you packed up your things to head to class. His hand slipped into yours as you both headed towards the stairs.

“Nothing?” You told him, though it sounded more like a question.

“Let me take you out, we can go to Hogsmeade.” He said, smiling over at you with that charming Sirius Black smile.

How could you say no to that?

-

At the four month mark you were still confused about why Sirius was with you, down right nearly died of shock when he asked to make things official one night as he snuck the two of you to the astronomy tower, talking about the different stars and constellations.

Four months in and you had fallen hard. It wasn’t difficult considering how much you had liked him before getting together but being around him everyday, getting to kiss him whenever you wanted, knowing that he was yours…it wasn’t hard to fall in love.

You had him memorized, you knew him as well as you knew the words to your old favourite song. When you touched him, you knew he was what you wanted and somehow he wanted you too.

You hadn’t realised just how hard you had fallen for him until your first fight. It was about something ridiculous and ended with the two of you storming away from each other. It was after hours and Sirius had headed up to the dorm whereas you had snuck out and found yourself sitting at the edge of the astronomy tower, legs dangling over as you looked up at the starry night.

Sirius came to find you that night, apologising. You had brushed it off, made it seem like it was no big deal just so things could be ok again between you but deep down you knew that that wasn’t right. The fight was intense but everything about your relationship with Sirius was intense so why shouldn’t that be too.

-

You shouldn’t have been surprised.

You knew he had a reputation, knew what he was like before you had gotten together. You knew he had a different girl every week. How could you think you could change that about him?

Watching him as he pressed some Ravenclaw against the wall, kissing her like he needed it to survive…

You hated the scene in front of you but you couldn’t look away. It was only when the Ravenclaw opened her eyes, seeing you stood there, that Sirius acknowledged you. The Ravenclaw pushed him off her, a look of embarrassment taking over her face as she quickly readjusted herself and picked her bag up before hurrying past you with an apology.

You didn’t hang around to hear what Sirius had to say. You turned on your heel and followed the other girl out, ignoring the pleas from Sirius as he begged you to hear him out.

You ended up in a dusty, old classroom. It looked like it hadn’t been used in a good few years…or decades. You didn’t care though, the state of the room was the last thing on your mind as you let the door fall shut and your back slid down it until you were sat on the floor with tears falling down your face.

You knew, deep down you knew that it was for the best, knew that you and Sirius could never have worked out but that didn’t make it hurt any less. The relationship was too much, loving him was too much. It was all too much, too fast. Every moment spent together was too intense.

You didn’t know how you were supposed to move on from him though because despite how intense things were between you, you really did love him and moving on from him seemed impossible when all you could see in your head was him.

As you sat on the dusty floor with tears falling down your face, flashbacks and echoes of him invading your mind, you couldn’t help but feel all alone. You knew you’d be ok eventually but right now everything felt blue, it felt lonely and sad and you felt like a complete idiot for thinking that he could change, for thinking that you were worth enough to him to change when really all you were to him was some pretty little plaything and he had finally gotten bored of you.

You had been so focused on the good moments between you this entire relationship, the affection, the infatuation, the warmth, that you ignored the other side of the relationship - the anger, the jealousy, the miscommunication, those horrible aspects you’d blocked out hit you full force.

Merlin, you were such an idiot.

Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun but in time you knew you’d be ok.

________________________

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All Too Well

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Prompt - 'It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.'

Hogwarts was bursting with excitement as many students prepared to go home for the holidays. This was the first year you had something to look forward to as your boyfriend, James Potter, had extended an invitation from his parents to you for their annual christmas party.

Everyone was chattering away loudly as they headed down to the train, all ready for the holidays to begin.

James and you walked together hand in hand surrounded by his friends. Sirius, Remus and Peter joined the two of you in the cart and it wasn’t soon before the train pulled away from the station and the five of you were headed home.

You and James hadn’t been dating for long, just over four months, but you knew you were head over heels for him. It was hard not to fall for him, everything about him felt safe, when you were tucked up against him, feeling his laugh rumble through his chest, you felt like that was the closest to home you’d felt in a long time.

Sitting here now, James’ arm wrapped around your shoulder pulling you into him, you felt yourself falling a little bit more in love with him. You let your head rest on his shoulder, smiling as you felt his lips against your head before he turned back to joking with Sirius.

The comforting feel of being pressed against James and the movement from the train was all it took to lull you to sleep.

“Y/N/N,” A soft voice said, gently shaking you awake.

You scrunched your nose up, blinking hard before opening your eyes and seeing James next to you wearing a soft smile.

“We’re here.” He told you before standing and holding a hand out to you. It wasn’t long before the two of you were on the platform saying your goodbyes.

“I’ll see you soon,” You told him, watching as he glanced from his friends back to you before nodding. He leaned down to give you a quick kiss, saying goodbye to you and made his way over to his little group.

As much as you loved James, though you’d yet to say those words to him, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel like you came second place to his friends. It wasn’t like you wanted him to give them up and only spend all his time with you but some days you couldn’t help but wish he paid half as much attention to you as he did them.

You frowned as you shook your head, blaming those thoughts on the lingering tiredness before making your way over to where your parents were waiting for you.

-

You had barely heard from James since you’d arrived back home for the holidays, a few letters here and there but no calls using the fireplace. In one of his letters James had told you that his parents had offered to let you come around a few days earlier and sleep over, wanting to get to know the girl their son was dating.

You were excited to finally spend some time with James and he had told you that he and Sirius were going to Diagon Alley to get some Christmas presents. You had agreed to meet up with them in The Leaky Cauldron and began to get ready for the day.

It wasn’t long before you were ready, bags packed and slipping a red scarf around your neck. You said goodbye to your parents before taking the floo over to The Leaky Cauldron.

You saw James and Sirius tucked away in the corner and quickly made your way over, pulling your cloak tighter around you to combat the chill. James spotted you first, smiling widely over at you and standing up to pull you into a hug which you eagerly returned before he pulled away slightly to press his lips to yours.

The three of you were quick to settle in with food and drinks but it wasn’t long before you were heading out into the cold and finishing up some shopping. By the time you were walking through the front doors of the Potter Manor you couldn’t help but smile at the warmth, a stark contrast to the cold air outside. As you looked around the house you couldn’t help but feel at home somehow, the atmosphere unlike any other pureblood house you’d been in, this one was comforting, inviting and you found yourself at ease as you slid your scarf off, letting it rest on the bannister.

After introductions were made Mrs Potter had pulled you into the kitchen with her, hot chocolates lined up as she rested a leather bound book on the counter. You couldn’t help but smile as she opened the first page, a naked baby James Potter crawling across the page. You looked up at James, laughing as you watched his cheeks turn red. Another page showed a young James Potter looking tiny as he sat on a twin sized bed, round glasses making him look even smaller as they took up a large portion of his face.

As Mrs Potter flipped through the pages, she recalled stories from James’ youth leaving you all with big grins on your faces as you listened and laughed.

You looked over at James as his mum continued with her stories and saw him looking at you with a warm smile. You bite your lip, trying to contain your smile as you glanced down at the book again, you couldn’t help but think how much you wanted to make more of these memories with him.

-

You had been staying at the Potters for two nights now, sleeping in the spare room as Mrs Potter had instructed. That night you found yourself tossing and turning and decided to head downstairs for a drink hoping it would help.

“Hey,” You said softly, smiling as you saw James’ already in the kitchen with the refrigerator door open, lighting the room with a soft blue light.

You watched as James smiled at you as he held his arms open, you were quick to step into them, glad to finally have a moment alone with him. As much as you loved his parents and hearing their stories and as much as you liked Sirius you had to admit you missed James despite the fact he was always there.

“Hey,” He replied, just as softly. The house was huge, the two of you could have spoken normally and not woke anybody up but the atmosphere felt nice, it felt delicate and as James held you close it felt right to keep your voices low.

“You know there’s going to be dancing at this party, don’t you?” He asked, causing you to pull back far enough to look up at him with wide eyes.

“I can’t dance.” You told him.

“It’s easy,” He insisted, smile widening as you shook your head at him.

“Yeah maybe if you were taught to waltz before you could walk.” You scoffed watching as he laughed with a roll of his eyes.

“I think you’re getting me and Pads confused, baby.” He grinned before pulling you away slightly and wrapping your arms around his neck, letting his own rest around your waist as he began to sway the two of you.

“See, easy.” He said as he took one of your hands in his and spun you around, smiling as you giggled before he took the lead and began dancing with you in the kitchen, no music needed as the two of you laughed softly as you stepped on James’ feet before slowly getting the hang of it.

In that moment you felt yourself fall a little bit more in love with James Potter.

-

The day of the party was here and the Potter manor was buzzing with energy. Mrs Potter was constantly in and out of the kitchen with different platters of food as house elves helped set up the decorations.

The manor felt more like home than the day you had arrived, several large Christmas trees had been set up in different rooms, fairy lights softly lighting the room and Gryffindor house colours were used in the decorations causing you to giggle.

James had his arm around you but he was more interested in the conversation he was having with Sirius, one that you weren’t paying too much attention to. Eventually though you got bored of being ignored and stood up, rolling your eyes slightly as James didn’t even look up.

“Can I help, Mrs Potter?” You asked, looking at the flustered woman who was preparing another tray of food.

“Oh no dear, you go and enjoy yourself.” She said shaking her head

“It’s no trouble, I’d be glad to help.” You insisted, watching as she looked up at you with a warm smile.

“Alright dear, you come here,” She said and with that you quickly got the hang of her methods and were soon helping her transport all the food into the living room, James still not noticing your absence.

-

As you headed back up to your room to get ready for the party you couldn’t help but frown as you walked past the living room, watching as Sirius, Remus and James all laughed together.

You weren’t jealous of his friendship with the others, Merlin, you loved that he had such a close relationship with them but at the same time you wished he put a little more effort into your relationship as he did with them.

You really tried to ignore it most days but sometimes you just couldn’t push the nagging feeling aside that you put more effort into this relationship than he did. With a shake of your head you headed into your room and began to get ready, trying not to focus on any more negative thoughts.

It wasn’t long before the party was in full swing and you made your way downstairs alone after waiting to see if James would come to your room. There was a frown on your face but as you stepped off the last stair you forced a smile onto your face and pushed through the crowds.

James looked incredible as he was dressed in a suit, laughing with an even bigger group of friends. You made your way over to him, not letting your smile falter as he didn’t acknowledge you.

You let your hand grab his but this time you did frown as he gave it one squeeze before letting go, turning his back to you as he began to joke with a guy you hadn’t met before.

A part of you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it but another part of you hated feeling like you weren’t good enough to James, like you were always second best to him. You left the group as discreetly as you could, not that anybody noticed when you did leave, and pushed your way outside.

The back garden was huge and just as beautiful as the inside, decorated with fairy lights and decorations. Despite the many, many people who were outside it was quite easy to find an empty space to sit.

The hot chocolate clutched between your hands was the only thing keeping you warm against the winter air. The night sky was nearly black despite it still being quite early in the evening. The wind was harsh enough to blow your hair in every direction but you didn’t care as you sat looking up at the stars frowning in thought.

You hated feeling like this was the end of things between you and James but at the same time you couldn’t help but think that it was long gone already and no amount of fighting on your behalf could do anything to salvage it. You hated that this thing between you and James felt so painfully real, felt like it could be amazing, and it was now just nothing.

You hated that you felt you were asking for too much when really all you wanted was your boyfriend to notice you, to pay attention to you. As you sat alone outside, the sound of music and laughter coming from behind you, you couldn’t help but sniff as you tried to fight back the tears, not feeling fine at all.

The realisation that your relationship was done made you feel like all the magic from the world had disappeared, you felt like everything was for nothing as you sat there remembering every moment between you and James. You recalled only the other night as James and you danced together alone in the kitchen, feeling happier than ever as he spun you around in his arms, you remember as he dragged you through the castle, running from the teacher on patrol as the two of you had snuck out out of hours for a date, you remembered him teaching you how to ride on a broom which ended with the two of you on the floor with bruises but only laughter could be heard.

You remembered it all too well.

In that moment it felt like you were paralyzed, it felt like time had frozen as you tried to figure out what to do next. You didn’t want to cause a scene for the Potter’s but you also knew you couldn’t stay, not anymore.

Eventually you managed to pull yourself up and made your way through the house, avoiding anyone you might know and headed up the stairs into the guest room Mrs Potter had let you use. You were quick to pack your things away, hesitating when you came across one of James’ jumpers before shaking your head and leaving it on the bed folded neatly.

You looked around the room one last time before making your way out, heading downstairs and pausing before sneaking into the floo room where guests were still coming in from, taking one last look at James across the room. He had a wide grin on his face, laughing along with his friends and you couldn’t stop your eyes filling up with tears, the lack of you not bothering him at all.

It wasn’t long before you were home, thankfully your parents were at their own Christmas party at a relatives house, leaving you home alone.

You made your way up to your room and it wasn’t long before you collapsed onto bed and let the tears fall down, heartbreaking sobs leaving you as you cried for every moment between you and James.

You thought what the two of you had was rare, you had been there for it, remembered each moment all too well and yet here you were…alone.

You loved James Potter so much and maybe you got lost in translation, maybe you did ask for too much by wanting him to acknowledge you more or maybe he had just lost the one real thing he’d ever known and not even realised it.

-

James had tried to floo you several times and wrote to you even more. You hated that it took you leaving for him to finally notice you. You replied to one of his owls with a letter of your own telling him that you couldn’t be with him anymore, telling him that you deserved better and that you didn’t want him to contact you again.

James received the owl and only then did he realise how badly he had messed up. That night as he began packing away his things, he came across the red scarf you had left there on that very first day and if he went to sleep that night curled up around it, breathing in your scent, well nobody had to know. It was too late now, he really had messed up and no amount of reminiscing would solve it.

_________

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Fluff-uary Prompt - Long Conversations

Prompt - ‘Under the glow of the moon, I'll confess my deepest secrets to you and only you.’

To put it mildly Remus was exhausted, it was days after the last full moon and yet the ache in his bones still persisted, the deep cut of his torso kept opening with every little movement making Remus want to curl in a ball and not leave his bed. Even worse was the fact he had to smile and pretend like he wasn’t in agony, pretend that only nights before he hadn’t turned into a monster and clawed at his own skin.

All because he couldn’t tell you what he was.

You were absolutely perfect, a pure blood witch who, in Remus’ opinion, shouldn’t have given him another look and yet somehow here you were, so deeply rooted in his life that the thought of losing you hurt his heart more than the pain of his bones. Telling you wasn’t an option, not if he wanted to keep you but on days where the effects of the lycanthropy were at their most violent it was so hard to keep it a secret.

You knew something was wrong, watched day after day as Remus slumped over the table in the Great Hall, watched as the circles under his eyes got darker and darker, how he winced as he stood or grimaced as people brushed against him in the hallways. You watched him thoughtfully, not bringing it up to him yet, not when he looked as drained as he did.

You did pull Sirius aside one day to ask him, practically begged him to tell you what was happening with Remus but Sirius’ eyes had just turned sympathetic as he shook his head, it wasn’t his secret to tell.

Keeping your distance from Remus was hard, the two of you were practically attached at the hip, always having a hand interlocked with his, his arms slung around your shoulder or cuddling on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Now you were afraid to touch the man, not wanting to cause him any more pain and considering you didn’t know where or exactly how he’d gotten hurt you weren’t going to take any chances.

Remus, must as he hated to admit it, barely noticed your distance far too tired to focus on himself, yet alone anything else. He missed the concerned looks you shot him throughout the day, missed the way your mouth opened and shut several times as you almost asked him what was wrong but decided to keep silent instead.

James and Sirius watched everything though, they watched as you monitored Remus’ every move, shared sad smiles as they noticed everything their friend didn’t but they couldn’t force him to tell you his secret and they’d never tell you themselves. Still it was hard to watch their friends drift from each other without realising it.

The day, for Remus, seemed to drag on for far too long. He hadn’t gotten much sleep before, the constant ache that spread through his whole body had kept him tossing and turning, growling in frustration. Then on the way down to breakfast a first year student stumbled right into causing him to double over in pain, Sirius quickly pulling him into an empty classroom allowing his friend privacy as he caught his breath.

By the time he felt like he could walk again without wanting to crumble onto the floor they’d missed breakfast and the first ten minutes of class. Sirius easily took the blame as they walked into McGonagall’s class, both of them slipping into their seats. The rest of the day passed in a daze, Remus couldn’t recall a single detail of the day and by the time they were walking back into the common room, he was exhausted beyond belief.

He practically collapsed onto the sofa, Sirius, James and Peter all sharing concerned looks between the three of them as he did so. You watched from one of the chairs on the opposite side of the room, worrying at your lower lip as you did.

Remus sat with his eyes closed but it wasn’t long before he let out a low growl at the noise of the common room. Abruptly he stood up and made his way out, glaring at nothing in particular as he did so, no real destination in mind so long as it was quiet.

You watched the door to the common room close before your gaze shifted over to his friends, each of them looking as worried for Remus as you felt. You watched as they spoke quietly for a minute before they turned to look at you, you gave them a troubled look before Sirius stood up and made his way over to you, sitting casually on the arm of the chair, no one else aware of the worried thoughts in your heads.

“Go talk to him,” Sirius told you softly.

“He doesn’t want to talk to me,” You replied, just as quietly, turning to look up at him.

“Y/N, trust me you’re probably one of the few people he’ll talk to right now without biting their head off. I know he’s been distant lately but that’s not on you, he’s just…” Here Sirius trailed off and you looked at him, hoping he’d finally clue you in as to what was going on with Remus. “He needs you, Y/N/N.”

“How can I help him when nobody will even tell me what's wrong? I mean, how bad can it be?” You asked, watching as Sirius tried to hide a grimace.

“I already told you it’s not my place to say,” He repeated. He wanted you to know, he really did, he knew you wouldn’t break up with Remus over it and it wasn’t like you couldn’t be trusted with the secret but he knew how difficult it was for Remus, he knew the constant battle his friend thought he faced over losing you by telling you what he was. Sirius had told him more times than he could count that his fears were unfounded but Remus just shook his head and Sirius dropped the topic.

“Sirius,” You began, eyes wide as you pleaded with him but he cut you off.

“Please Y/N,” He said, his own eyes sad and apologetic, “just talk to him, he’s struggling.”

Sirius gave you a soft, encouraging smile before getting up and heading in the direction of the dormitories.

“I don’t even know where he went.” You called over to him watching as he turned to face you, walking backwards as the soft smile turned into a grin.

“Give me a minute.” He said, jogging up the stairs and murmuring a quick ‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good’ before scanning the map for his friend's name.

“There you are,” He muttered to himself before closing the map and heading back down to the common room, jumping onto the couch causing James to roll his eyes though there was a smile on his face.

You rolled your own eyes as you pulled yourself out of the seat and over to Sirius, leaning over the couch.

“So,” You prompted, watching as he tilted his head back to face you.

“Astronomy tower.” He told you with a grin, laughing as you rolled your eyes again before pushing away from the sofa and following the path that would lead you to Remus.

You were silent as you stepped out onto the astronomy tower, eyes immediately drawn to Remus as he sat on the edge, letting his legs hang over. You watched as he stiffened, clearly not wanting company but you remembered Sirius’ words and walked closer to him, ready to leave if he asked you to.

Remus felt himself slowly relaxing as the two of you sat together in silence, both looking out at the horizon, watching as the sky turned pink and then orange as the sun set before you. It was in that moment Remus realised just how much he had shut himself off from you, realised how he’d gone days without talking to you without even noticing, realised that the secret was affecting his life much more so than he thought was possible.

It was then he knew he had to tell you, even if it meant losing you, he had to tell you. He wasn’t scared you’d out him, he knew he could trust you with his life, he knew you’d never use it against him, never hold it over his head even if you did decide to walk away.

“I’m sorry,” He began, voice soft so he didn’t break the peaceful atmosphere. He watched as you turned to face him, letting your cheek rest on the railing as you scanned his face and saw the nervousness that he was feeling.

“S’okay,” You told him, matching his tone, “Can I do anything to help?” You asked and Remus felt himself smile without meaning to because here you were, so absolutely beautiful and selfless, he had ignored you for days and the first thing you asked was could you help him.

God, he loved you.

“No baby, you can’t,” He said, the smile staying on his face as he shifted, sitting up straighter and letting his joined hands rest on the railings as he looked away from you. “Nothing can help me.”

“Remus, you know you can tell me anything, I might not be able to help you and I know you’ve got the boys but sometimes another perspective could help.” You told him.

“I love you so much,” He murmured, “You’re so good and I’m not,” You felt your eyebrows knit together in confusion but before you could interrupt he continued talking, “You deserve so much better, you deserve somebody good. Deserve somebody who isn’t a monster, somebody wh-”

“Remus,” You said, louder than the two of you had been speaking, causing his head to snap up to you as he realised he’d been rambling, “What are you talking about? You’re quite possibly the kindest person I have ever met.”

“I’m not, Y/N, I’m just not,” He told you, eyes filling with tears as he shook his head, “I’m not a good person, I’m a monster.”

You felt your eyes widen in worry as you watched him, thoughts racing trying to figure out what he was talking about but kept coming up short.

“Remus, sweetheart, you’ve got to talk to me.” You begged, shifting so you were sitting on your knees facing him.

“I’m a monster, Y/N,” He cried, the exhaustion he felt finally becoming too much.

“Hey, let’s take a breath, yeah?” You said as calmly as you could, taking a deep, slow exaggerated breath, watching as he copied you.

“I have to tell you, Y/N,” He said and you nodded, cupping his cheek and turning his face so he looked at you, feeling your heart ache as you saw the tears falling down his cheeks.

“You can tell me anything,” You prompted, brushing away some tears with your thumb, smiling sadly as he leaned into your touch, turning so his lips rested against your palm.

“I’m a werewolf,” He mumbled against your hand.

You felt your eyes widen at his confession, looking down at the man who refused to look at you, watched as he scrunched his eyes closed but tears continued to fall down.

It suddenly clicked in your head, the full moon had been only days ago and then Remus started distancing himself, wincing with each movement. Merlin, he must have been in some pain and the dark circles under his eyes suddenly made more sense.

Now that you had been told it made so much sense, too much sense in fact, and you could have slapped yourself for not piecing it together yourself. It also became clear why Sirius was adamantly against telling you himself and you felt your heart swell at his loyalness to his friend.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He repeated after his confession was met with silence. “I’m so sorry, Y/N/N.”

“Hey, hey, it’s fine,” You told him, meaning those words, sure finding out your boyfriend was a were was a bit of a shock but ultimately, werewolf or not, he was still Remus, still the man you’d known since you were eleven, the man who had never failed to make you feel safe, the man who saw you crying in the first week of year one and sat with your for hours, handing you pieces of chocolate as he did, because you were home sick.

He was still Remus.

“Don’t say sorry, baby, it’s ok, everything’s fine, everything is gonna be fine.” You told him, pulling him close to you and resting his head on your chest as you held him close. Remus happily sunk into your embrace, something he was sure he would never feel again, and let his eyes close as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

The two of you held each other for a long while, neither of you daring to say anything but eventually Remus pulled away, shuffling backwards so his back was against the wall before he pulled you close to him, his arm wrapping around your waist. You easily went to him, letting your head rest on his shoulder.

“You ready to talk about it?” You asked, shifting to look up at him as he sighed.

“Yeah,” He said, taking a deep breath, “What do you want to know?”

You smiled up at him, starting with the obvious questions of when and how.

“I was four,” He told you, watching as you gasped and looked at him with those sad, wide eyes that just about broke his heart. “A werewolf called Fenrir Greyback bit me in the middle of the night because my father," Here he let out a bitter laugh, "Well let's just say he never had a kind word to say about werewolves and they didn't like that." Remus paused to swallow the lump in his throat and you took that moment to take his hand in yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. "My dad came in before Greyback could kill me but it was too late, I got something worse than death." He told you through clenched teeth.

“Remus,” You said softly when he stayed quiet but he shook his head before placing it on top of yours, giving himself a second to collect himself.

“Dumbledore’s the only reason I’m at Hogwarts, if anybody found out-” Here he cut himself off with a shake of his head. “Sirius, James and Peter, they all- they found out themselves, couldn’t just leave it alone. It’s hard to hide going missing once a month though when you share a dorm with them. When they told me they knew I just, I felt sick. They were some of the first friends I had ever had and now they knew, I thought they’d hate me forever but then Sirius just patted me on the back and told me not to be an idiot, told me I was still Remus.”

“You are still Remus,” You told him, looking up at him so he could see you meant the words. You watched him relax, the tension falling away as he took the words in.

“Thank you,” He whispered.

“Remus, I love you, werewolf or not. I’ll be honest it’s a bit of a shock but I’m glad you told me because I hated this week, hated knowing there was something wrong and I couldn’t fix it.”

“You still can’t fix it, baby.” Remus told you softly, a smile making its way onto his face, he was so overwhelmed by you, by your kindness, by your acceptance.

“I know but at least now I can be there for you.” You said, smiling up at him and Remus felt his love for you deepen, something he didn’t think was possible but here you were shocking him once more.

“I love you so much.” He said before he leaned down to kiss you soft and slowly, trying to convey just how much he meant those words, convey just how grateful he was for you, grateful for the fact you still wanted him.

“I love you too,” You smiled once the two of you pulled away from each other, resting your foreheads together.

You don’t know how long the two of you sat up on the astronomy tower for, talking quietly to each other, before the temperature dropped to the point that you were shivering. Remus stood up first, holding a hand out for you and helping you up.

You watched him wince as the two of you descended down the long flight of stairs.

“Do you want to go and see Madam Pomfrey? You know she’ll give you a pain potion.” You asked him in concern.

“It’s ok, baby,” He said with a smile, “They don’t work too well anymore.”

You gave him a sad smile but let it go and let him lead you back to the common room. Murmuring the password Remus held the door open for you and you made your way in, noticing that despite the lateness Sirius, James and Peter were still in the room exactly where you had left them all those hours ago, looking over at you and Remus with questioning looks.

Remus rolled his eyes fondly but made his way over to them, joining Sirius on the couch and pulling you down with him. You smiled as you cuddled into his chest, watching as the others all let out a collective sigh of relief.

“She knows?” James asked, looking from you to Remus.

“She knows.” Remus confirmed, smiling down at you as he wrapped his arms around you.

“And we’re all good?” Sirius asked, this question directed towards you causing Remus to let out a huff of laughter.

“Yeah Sirius, we’re all good.” You told him with a smile, meaning the words.

As Remus watched you and Sirius begin playfully bantering, James joining in too he couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Somehow he had ended up here, an amazing girl by his side who hadn’t given his lycanthropy a second thought when she thought about being with him, a group of friends who had welcomed him despite everything, who had spent three years of their lives figuring out how to become animagus’ just to help him.

He had no idea how he had gotten so lucky but he decided not to question, not tonight at least. Instead he kissed the top of your head and joined in the conversation, he had gotten pretty lucky to have you all with him and he wouldn’t waste a single moment he had with any of you.

_________

Remus Lupin Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) - @parkerlaufeysonbarnes,

@haroldpotterson, @dindjarinsspouse, @lovinnholland, @rottenstyx, @flwryutaa, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair, @halepack2011, @mrs-scottmccall, @roseslovedreams, @j-cat, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @chickensrule, @rosaliedepp, @hayden429, @grccnaway, @ppgrayson, @onyourgoddamnleft, @divanca2006, @silverose365, @tc-blossom, @touchdeprivedwh0re, @mrs-brekker15, @alexxavicry, @sweetdreamsjg, @alwaysclassyeagle, @asherhunterx, @carmellasworld, @ellabellabus07, @maeve-7,@apolysius, @qfton, @lazysheepperfection, @theodorenottswhore, @father-violet, @ur-mom21, @mystic-writings, @mmaiamore, @izzyyy-1, @leftmooninfluencer, @lucyysthings, @morganaah, @taylordidsomthingbad, @kaitieskidmore1

Febuwhump Masterlist

Day One - Head Wound - Matt Murdock x Reader

Day Two - Failed Rescue Attempt - Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Day Three - Blood Loss - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Four - Nightmares - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Day Five - I Dreamt You Were Alive - Tom!Peter Parker x Reader

Day Six - Hypothermia - Matt Murdock x Reader

Day Seven - Used as an Experiment - Frank Castle x Reader

Day Eight - No Anaesthesia - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Nine - Kidnapped - Matt Murdock x Reader

Day Ten - "How Long Has It Been?" - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Eleven - Black Eye - Frank Castle x Reader

Day Twelve - Spiked Drink - Andrew!Peter Parker x Reader

Day Thirteen - Won't Regain Consciousness - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Fourteen - Can't Go Home - Tom!Peter Parker x Reader

Day Fifteen - Hidden Scars - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Sixteen - "Does That Hurt?" - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Seventeen - Blindfolded - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Eighteen - Forced to Watch - Spencer Reid x Reader

Day Nineteen - Friendly Fire - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Twenty - Caged - Remus Lupin x Reader

Day Twenty One - "Help Them" - Frank Castle x Reader

Day Twenty Two- Restrained - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Day Twenty Three - "Don't Leave." - Andrew!Peter Parker x Reader

Day Twenty Four - Too Weak to Move - Frank Castle x Reader

Day Twenty Five - Muffled Screams - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Day Twenty Six - "Please Don't Do This." - Harry Potter x Reader

Day Twenty Seven - Shower Breakdown - Matt Murdock x Reader

Day Twenty Eight - Presumed Dead - Daryl Dixon x Reader

Wolf and All

Click here for my masterlist.

Febuwhump Prompt - Caged

Prompt - ‘The secrets we hide will always come out in the end, we just have to hope that love is enough."

For months you had watched silently, listening to the excuses, the lies. You smiled and nodded, showing no signs of distrust, no signs that you knew every word was a lie. You still stayed close to him, let him hold you in his arms, cuddled him in front of the fireplace as you laughed along with him, with his friends and listened to them all lie.

Remus Lupin was lying and you were determined to figure out what he was hiding.

Your first thought had gone to another girl. Remus was suspicious, sneaking away multiple times a day looking stressed, agitated, before coming back relaxed and calmer. You thought he was seeing somebody else but that theory was pushed away quickly because even though he was lying to you, you knew deep down that wasn’t the type of person that Remus Lupin was.

It turns out other theories were harder to come by, when one’s boyfriend was being sneaky it usually was because of another person but now you had to try and piece together another reason for the lies.

You remembered the excuses he’d used, most of them generic like he was tired or he had homework. You note how some days he really did seem more tired than usual, a tiredness that couldn’t quite be fixed with sleep, a tiredness that you could feel in every movement. You watched as he winced, how when you cuddled into him sometimes he tried to hide grimaces and hisses of pain.

Try as you might, you couldn’t come up with any plausible theories that could lead to the lying and the sneaking around, the fresh scars and quiet suffering. You ran through more scenarios than you could count trying to find something that seemed likely but couldn’t figure anything out.

Today you’d had enough.

From the moment you’d entered the common room Remus had been short tempered, snapping at you over nothing and stalking out of the common room. You hardly heard from him for the rest of the day, just continued to watch him carefully, watched how his shoulders stayed tense, watched as he glared and snapped at anybody who dared speak to him, watched him be the complete opposite of his usual self.

Something was wrong and you were done watching silently from the background. You and Remus had been together for two years, friends for even longer, and yet he didn’t trust you with whatever secret he was hiding. You shook your head as you stirred your potion, eyes focused on Remus as you decided enough was enough.

That night at dinner you sat a few seats away on the opposite side of him, making yourself look busy as you played with the food on your plate, waiting for Remus’ next move. He stayed where he was though, picking at the food on his plate and glaring around the Great Hall.

His eyes locked on yours and the glare didn’t soften instead he glared at you before he turned away, leaving you feeling angry yourself, knowing you hadn’t done anything to warrant the cold, silent treatment. You knew it wasn’t just you he was being uncharacteristically angry towards but you didn’t care, it wasn’t continuing.

You watched as Remus stood up with the three other boys all making their way out of the Great Hall and gave it a few seconds before you stood too, following behind them but keeping your distance, wanting to see where they were going. Pretty quickly you realised that they were just heading back to the common room and rolled your eyes, knowing that it was when Remus went off alone you needed to be alert.

So you sat in a corner of the common room, watching the boys take the spaces in front of the fireplace, the other three laughing and joking as Remus scowled down at a book.

It was hours later and the common room was mostly empty. You glanced over the top of your book and saw the boys shooting you worried and slightly impatient glances as the sun began to set outside the windows. You didn’t say anything though, trying to make it seem like you were too absorbed in your book to notice any moves they made but none of them moved.

James and Sirius looked away from you and over at each other, seemingly having a silent conversation before Sirius made his way over to you, sitting on the arm of your chair and pulling the book from your hand.

“Good book?” He asked and you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “It’s getting late,” he said as casually as he could, giving you no time to answer as he gestured towards the stairs, “you should head to bed.”

“And since when are you so concerned with my sleeping hours?” You asked him, trying to sound bored and uninterested.

“Forgive me for wanting to make sure you get your beauty sleep.” He chuckled and you noted the way it seemed slightly forced as he looked out of the window before turning to you again and standing from the chair, holding a hand out for you with a grin.

You rolled your eyes at him but let yourself be pulled up from the chair, waving over at James and Peter on the sofas and resisted the urge to roll your eyes as Remus continued to glare down at the book. You let Sirius lead you towards the stairs, bidding you goodnight and not turning away until you’d rounded the corner.

“You should head out.” Sirius said, causing your eyebrows to knit together questioningly, keeping your back to the wall as you listened to them, “See you in the morning.”

You didn’t hear Remus reply but you did hear the portrait door open and close.

“You think she knows?” You heard James ask quietly as the boys made their way over to the stairs, turning towards the boy’s dormitory.

“She knows something’s wrong; we just have to help him make sure his secret stays a secret.” Sirius said and you frowned as their door shut, cutting off anything else.

You hurried back down the stairs and out of the portrait door, only a few seconds had passed since Remus left the common room and you smiled as you saw him round the corner, following after him but being sure to keep your distance.

It wasn’t long before Remus stopped at the front doors of the castle, Madam Pomfrey stood waiting for and gave him a soft, reassuring smile as she held the door open for him, gently patting his shoulder as he walked out.

You felt your confusion grow as you managed to squeeze your way through the closing door, easily avoiding being seen by the darkening sky as you continued to follow them. You watched in slight amazement as the Whomping Willow came to a sudden halt and watched as Remus and Madam Pomfrey disappeared through a secret entrance.

You had two options right now, continue following them and risk the tree becoming active again or turn around and go back to the common room. With a deep breath you darted across the grass, waiting for the moment branches started swinging again but somehow you managed to make your way through the secret entrance before you heard movement from outside.

A huff of relief left you and you followed the light you could see in the distance from Madam Pomfrey’s wand, completely and utterly confused as to why Remus had been brought to what looked like an old house, dust surrounding the different surfaces and planks of wood hung dangerously from the walls, looking like it would fall apart with only a soft breeze.

Despite your confusion you followed the two of them into one of the rooms, panicking as they both stopped and quickly hid yourself behind some boxes in the room, listening as Madam Pomfrey spoke.

“Now dear, I’ll be back first thing in the morning,” she told him and you felt your eyebrows knit together, the morning?

A few more words were traded between them before Madam Pomfrey left the room, the wards magically sealing as she left, locking you and Remus in the room together.

You peeked through the boxes and saw Remus begin to strip out of his uniform before he sat heavily on the bed, seemingly waiting for something.

What in Merlin’s name is going on? You thought to yourself but were pulled out of your head when Remus let out a cry of pain. You peeked through the boxes again and saw him hunched over, watching as his limbs seemed to stretch, bones poking out of his skin as he continued crying out.

The cries seemed to turn into growls and howls as you watched his back arch unnaturally before he pushed himself off the bed, landing on the dusty floor and as quickly as he had started it was over and you were left staring in horror at the creature on the floor.

I just caged myself in a room with a werewolf, you thought to yourself as fear ran through your body, you holding your breath, desperate not to make a single noise to attract the wolf’s attention to you.

Thankfully the wolf stayed hunched on the floor, the transition taking a lot of energy out of him but then he lifted his head sharply, looking around the room as he let out a few loud sniffs and you closed your eyes, hand resting on your mouth in an attempt to smother any noises.

You heard him walk around, paws echoing around the silent room as the sounds got closer and closer to you. You felt your breathing speed up, still desperately trying to silence yourself as tears slipped down cheeks and cursing yourself for not letting Remus keep his secrets.

You kept your eyes close but felt your heart stop as you felt breath against your face, fear coursed through your body as you prepared yourself for what was about to happen, preparing yourself for the absolute worse.

A violent flinch spread throughout your entire body when you felt the wolf nuzzle his snout against your cheek before a tongue came out to lick at it, wiping the tears away only for them to be replaced a second later.

When the wolf let out a whine you forced your eyes open, a terrified gasp leaving you as you saw the wolf right in front of you but he just whined again, butting his head against yours with more force.

“R-remus?” You managed to stutter out, voice barely above a whisper and you could feel your heart in your throat but the wolf just lowered his face, nuzzling into your neck but paused as you tensed up, waiting for his teeth to sink into the skin.

The wolf whined again before pulling back and lay down in a pile of long limbs, almost seeming grumpy. You stared down at him for a moment before you lifted your hand, watching how the wolf was instantly on alert, lifting his head up eagerly as he watched you lowered it, leaning up himself so that your hand rested on his snout.

“Remus?” You asked again, this time your voice was more steady, slightly louder as you looked down at him. You ran your hand across his snout, rubbing the soft skin and watched as the wolf lay his head back down, this time resting on your thigh.

You stared down at him, feeling too many emotions run through you as you watched the wolf close its eyes, watched as it dozed off against you. You didn’t know too much about werewolves, didn’t know much more than a bite from them was life ruining, but you did know that they weren’t supposed to behave like supernatural overgrown puppies.

Suddenly though everything seemed to make sense, the fresh and healed scars, the winces, the angry outbursts…everything just made sense.

Your boyfriend was a werewolf.

As the night went on you found yourself relaxing, the wolf apparently deciding the best way to spend the full moon trapped inside was to sleep against you. He had long since moved from his position on your thigh and nudged at you until you moved, taking his robe in your teeth to pull you across the room. You had watched as he nosed at the  dusty pillows until they fell on the floor and pushed you down so you were laying against them, from there he had curled up around you and fell back to sleep.

Despite the wolf’s uncharacteristic response to you, you didn’t plan on falling asleep in the same room as him but eventually you ended up doing just that, fingers slowly coming to a stop as they ran through the hair on his back and eyes falling shut.

The next thing you knew Remus was shaking you awake, pale faced and looking seconds away from throwing up. You didn’t even have a second to comprehend what was happening as he was launched into a scared rant.

“What in the world were you thinking?” He began, already moving away from you and pacing the length of the room, despite that though you couldn’t help but smile as he looked more refreshed than he had in days. “Do you have any idea of what could have happened last night? Any idea of how much danger you had been in? I could have killed you, Y/N, I could have bit you!”

You tried to speak but Remus wasn’t looking at you, he continued to walk up and down, shaking his head as he let his thoughts run wild.

“Was this a joke to you? Did you want me to hurt you? I couldn’t have lived with myself if I woke up this morning to find you dead on the floor because of me, to find you with a bite mark because of me.”

As Remus continued to stress over the what if’s you stood up and made your way over to him, stopping him in his tracks and wrapping your arms around his shoulder, letting your fingers play with the hair on the back of his head.

“You’re ok,” You murmured, pulling his head down and resting your foreheads together, “you’re ok, I’m ok. Nobody was bitten, nobody is dead. I know now it was dangerous but believe me I didn’t know.”

“What were you thinking?” He asked you, wide, guilty eyes filled with tears.

“I was worried about you,” You told him simply, “You were so angry at everybody, angry at me. You haven’t been sleeping, you’re in pain and the scars…I knew something was wrong and you weren’t going to tell me so I followed you.”

“I could have hurt you.” He murmured, lifting a hand to cup your cheek, brushing his thumb against your skin.

“But you didn’t.” You assured him and you watched him shut his eyes, a single tear making its way down his cheek.

“I’m so sorry,” He said, so quietly that despite how close you were you almost missed it, “I’ll leave you alone, I promise.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked him, eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

“Don’t make this harder, Y/N/N, we both know that you don’t want to be with a werewolf. I always knew this day would come, I had just hoped we had more time.” Remus whispered, eyes still closed and missing the way your face turned from confused to offended.

“You think I’d leave you over this?” You asked, the tone of your voice had him opening his eyes and seeing the look of disbelief on your face. “Remus, I love you, wolf and all.”

Remus stared at you in shock, looking down at you for a long moment before his face shifted into a look of his own disbelief.

“Wolf and all?” He asked you after opening and closing his mouth but having no words come out.

“Wolf and all.” You confirmed, smiling up at him.

Remus let out a wet laugh as more tears ran down his face and he crashed his lips against yours in an uncoordinated kiss, his finger sliding up and gripping your hair as you tightened your own grip around his neck, kissing back just as messily.

The two of you pulled away when you heard the sound of footsteps walking up to the door. You stared at Remus with wide eyes and he gestured for you to hide but then stopped you with a hand on yours, pulling you in for a softer gentler kiss, completely unbelieving that he had gotten so lucky as to have you in his life.

“I love you too.” He whispered, loving the way your eyes lit up at the words despite hearing them a thousand times before you turned to hide, fully intending to continue what he had started later.

_________

Remus Lupin Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) - @haroldpotterson, @dindjarinsspouse, @lovinnholland, @rottenstyx, @flwryutaa, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair, @halepack2011, @mrs-scottmccall, @j-cat, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @chickensrule, @rosaliedepp, @hayden429, @grccnaway, @ppgrayson, @onyourgoddamnleft, @mel119g, @divanca2006, @silverose365, @tc-blossom, @touchdeprivedwh0re, @mrs-brekker15, @alexxavicry, @sweetdreamsjg, @alwaysclassyeagle, @asherhunterx, @carmellasworld, @ellabellabus07, @maeve-7,@apolysius, @qfton, @lazysheepperfection, @theodorenottswhore, , @father-violet, @mystic-writings, @mmaiamore, @izzyyy-1, @lucyysthings, @morganaah, @taylordidsomthingbad, @kaitieskidmore1, @sadblueberry721, @loki-laufeysons-wife, @srhxpci, @jelliebeanss, @mrslizzyolsen, @lolmxria

A World We Can Call Our Own

Click here for my masterlist.

Prompts - anon - 79 - “Do you remember when we skipped school and found this place?” “Yeah, I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.” & 91 - ‘Would you lay with me and just forget the world?’ & 99 - Interlocking pinky fingers.

The grounds of Hogwarts were no strangers to explorers, excited children trying to discover all the hiding places and secrets of the both the castle and its grounds. Yet despite the decades and decades worth of children trying to discover each hiding spot there were still more places than could be counted that had yet to be found.

There were places that should never have even been findable to witches and wizards, places that were so well hidden it should have been impossible to find and yet somehow, somehow two second year students had found one of the grounds best kept hideaways. Not only had they found it so many years ago but they returned often enough that it became their own space.

One of them was having a bad day? The two of them could be found together, backs against the beautifully green grass littered with pastel colours. One of them received good news? The two of them could be found together, huge grins on their faces as they sat close enough together that their shoulders brushed and an unmentioned blush spread across both their cheeks. One of them was struggling with a class? The two of them could be found together, books spread out on the grass, ink stains on their hands and their heads bent together as the other patiently talked through the material.

The land that hadn’t been walked since before Hogwarts was built had now been claimed by two teenagers who shared every special moment together in the place that had become theirs.

“What’s wrong?” You heard James ask but didn’t look away from the letter in your hands as you sat on the ledge of the astronomy tower, feeling James take a seat next to you.

You didn’t answer him, you couldn’t answer him so instead you handed over the latest letter of disappointment from your parents and continued to sit in the silence that seemed less suffocating now that James was sitting beside you.

“I’m sorry,” James frowned as he read, hating how your parents were able to bring your mood down with one little letter - between yours and Sirius’ parents nobody was winning parent of the year awards.

“Don’t be,” you sighed, turning so that your head rested on his shoulder, smiling when his head softly lay against yours. “You think I’d be used to this, right? I mean I’ve been getting these letters since first year.”

“I’m sorry.” James said again and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you shook your head slightly.

For years you’d let the letters and the arguments drag you down all because your family saw you as a disappointment for being sorted into Gryffindor and for years James had been the one to comfort you every time without fail.

“Come on,” He said after several moments of silence, nudging his shoulder against yours as he lifted his head. You looked up at him questioningly, squinting against the sun that shone brightly behind him causing him to grin down at you as he held a hand out for you.

You didn’t hesitate to slide your hand into his and let him pull you up. Despite the fact hand holding wasn’t a new thing between you and James, hell James had been holding your hand since your first day at Hogwarts as he watched you watch name after name and house after house get announced. The fear was clear across your face and James held your hand right up until he was forced to let go and took it straight back in his as you sat down next to him, pale faced and terrified. Despite all that, the familiar feeling of his hand in yours never failed to make your stomach fill with a thousand butterflies.

You let James lead you down the many steps of the astronomy tower and all the way through the castle until you were heading out of the front entrance, a small but genuine smile tugging at your lips as you realised exactly where he was taking you. It was no surprise of course, the two of you practically lived there. It was a surprise that other people had never found the place that had become so special to you, a place where there were no expectations, no family rules and honour, nothing but a place to just be yourself with James.

It didn’t matter to either of you that lunch was almost over and you had double potions in only a few minutes. The only thing that mattered was being together in a place that hid you away from the rest of the world, a place where only the two of you existed.

The walk to your quiet corner of the world was long but peaceful and the two of you took your time, climbing up rocky hills and ducking under untamed vines, hands never leaving each other as you walked side by side. Neither of you said anything but unlike the silence back at the astronomy tower, this silence was nice, it was comfortable. This silence was the kind of silence few people ever got to experience, a silence where no words needed to be spoken, where the silence didn’t need to be filled because the others presence was enough.

It was the kind of silence that came with years worth of friendship, the kind of silence that came with years worth of affection and years worth of feelings that blossomed every single day.

You and James had been fast friends, James immediately pulling you into his carriage on the train, misinterpreting the fear on your face for first day nerves rather than fears of disownment but still you had let yourself be distracted by him, let his smile soothe you and his words push the fear away as you laughed along with what he said.

That first night in the common room, long after everyone had gone to bed you remained downstairs, sitting on the floor with your back pressed to the sofa. It wasn’t until James joined you, with no words to make you laugh or a smile to make you giggle, that a single tear fell down your face. James didn’t offer false words of comfort, instead he sat with you in silence, not awkward or uneasy but comfortable and despite the fact that no words were exchanged that night you knew James Potter was going to be your best friend.

And you were right, Merlin, how right you were.

James Potter was your best friend, inseparable from first year onwards and it wasn’t a shock to anyone as you confessed to your closest friends outside of each other that you liked the other. You remembered clearly sitting in the girls dorm, everyone sat on their beds talking about boys and when they turned to you they didn’t need your flustered confession to know that you had feelings for James, just like Sirius, Remus and Peter didn’t need James to tell them that he liked you.

It was quite possibly the worst kept secret at Hogwarts.

Yet years went by and still neither you or James were brave enough to bring the topic up. It was almost an unspoken agreement to keep things the way they were because it was enough, the bond you had with each other was rare, it was something that most people spent their whole lives looking for and few truly found. Why risk messing with something that was already perfect?

Of course, that was easy to think but some days it was almost suffocating how badly you wanted James. How easy it would be to lean over and press your lips to his and sometimes you moved to do it so casually that it was hard to stop yourself. It was a position James too had found himself in more times than he could even recall at this point.

It was how he’d found himself in the boy’s bedroom, coming up with a plan with the others. A plan that would see the two of you finally together because James couldn’t deal with another year of keeping his feelings to himself. He couldn’t deal with another year of sitting in the common room, fire blazing in front of the sofas, his closest friends surrounding him and you tucked up beneath his arm, head resting on his chest and on occasion falling asleep where you lay.

And they had come up with a plan. It was a good plan too, one involving a trip to Hogsmeade and ending with the two of you together. But for some reason as he spoke through it with his friends, something didn’t feel right about it and now as he walked through the opening of his place with you he realised exactly what it was that was wrong.

How could he ask you out anywhere but the safe haven that seemed to have been created solely for the two of you?

The trees stood tall, each of them blocking the outside world away without making either of you feel closed in. The beautiful pastel pinks that hung over top of you from the weeping cherry tree, the pink blending in with the greens and the purples from the jacaranda tree. There was a clearing through the trees that seemed to stretch on for miles, beautifully green grass turning into crystal clear water well off into the distance.

Despite the amount of times you’d walked over the flowers that seemed to cover the grass, despite how many times you had both lay against the soft ground, the flowers sat perfectly, no proof that they had ever been disrupted.

What better place was there for James to finally, finally, ask you out?

Now all that was left to do was figure out how to make his move.

The two of you quickly found yourself in a familiar position, laying next to each other, eyes on the sky that could be seen despite the mess of trees. A position that right now was exactly what you needed because there was no better cure than laying with James and forgetting about the rest of the world.

“Do you remember,” You finally spoke softly, continuing to stare up ahead even as James’ head turned in your direction, looking at a face he had long since memorised, “when we skipped school and found this place?”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you listened to James laugh. It was a sound you pulled from him easily and you were glad for it because the sound never failed to send a warm feeling through you.

“Yeah,” James answered, a bright smile on his own face as he nodded over to one of the trees not too far away, watching as you began to laugh too. “I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.”

“I wouldn’t say I was impressed.” You told him, turning your gaze to the tree, the memory of a twelve year old James insisting that he could climb the tall tree to pluck a flower that bloomed from it.

Of course he hadn’t been able to do it, instead of watching him retrieve the flower, you watched as he stood tall on the tree branch, ignoring your calls to be careful, only to lose his footing and end up tumbling backwards off the branch and landing on the floor with a sickening crunch.

“You were impressed.” James told you, trying to maintain his serious expression but a side eyed glance from you had him grinning despite himself. “I know you were impressed that I managed to grab the flower.”

At that you couldn’t stop the smile on your face softening as you remembered the rest of the memory from that day because the idiot hadn’t even seemed bothered about the pain, hadn’t seemed to care that he had just broken his leg. No, instead he grinned up at you and held a slightly crumpled white flower in his fist out to you.

A flower you still kept safely tucked away in your trunk to this day.

“I still have it, you know?” You told him, turning away from the tree to look at him, watching as his grin fell and his eyes widened.

“You kept it?” He asked, voice quiet as he turned so he faced you completely, supporting his weight on one arm and watching as you nodded.

“You broke your leg getting it for me, of course I kept it.” You watched as a disbelieving smile made its way onto his face and he let out a huff of laughter as he looked at you in amazement.

He was so utterly and irretrievably in love with you.

And just like that all plans went out of the window as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back, moving your lips against his felt as natural as anything, it felt like it was something you had been doing for years.

It was definitely something you should have been doing for years because as much as you hated to describe it as such it was like all the cliches rolled into one, the fireworks, the butterflies, the rest of the world fading into nothing. It was almost overwhelming and when the two of you finally pulled away, James resting his forehead against yours as you both gasped for air, neither of you could stop the smiles that spread across your faces.

“We should have done that before.” James said eventually causing you to laugh as James’ smile only seemed to grow at the sound. “We’re definitely doing it from now on.”

“At least ask me on a date first.” You laughed and James leaned down to kiss you again just because he couldn’t stop himself and because he was finally allowed to do it.

And spending the rest of the day in a place that was purely yours and James, finally able to kiss each other as casually as you held hands was a truly magical feeling. There was no need for grand romantic confessions, no need to awkwardly stutter through your feelings for one another because you’d always known how you felt about each other. You’d always known that there was a connection, a bond, a love that ran so deep it could never be broken.

It wasn’t until the sky darkened and your stomachs rumbled that the two of you forced yourself up and that was the hardest part about this place, leaving. It was so easy to get caught up in a world that only existed within the safety of the trees but eventually you had to leave.

The two of you walked side by side, hands brushing against each others until James caught your pinky finger in his and looped them together causing you to look down at the joined fingers before turning to James with a soft smile and feeling nothing but love and happiness running through your veins as he smiled back, all thoughts of letters and misery gone from your head.

______

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In Another Life

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Prompts - anon - ‘I can’t help but wonder if I told you sooner, would I be where she is now?'

If somebody were to ask James Potter what Y/F/N Y/LN was to him he would have smiled, it would have been a smile that spread across his whole face, a smile that made his eyes light up and he would have told whoever had asked him that Y/F/N Y/L/N was one of his best friends, his family. He would gladly take any chance he could get to talk about you, the same way he did with Sirius, with Remus and Peter too. 

If somebody were to ask you what James Potter was to you it would have been an entirely different reaction, if the person was looking close enough. To some people they would see a smile that seemed sincere enough, would hear you say he was your best friend but other people, if they looked deeper would see a completely different reaction. Sure they would still see a smile but they would notice that it didn’t quite meet your eyes, that it seemed strained, almost shaky. Of course they would hear you say that James Potter was your best friend but they would also hear the sadness behind those words, the longing. Whereas James could talk about you for hours, you would move the conversation on as quickly as you could.

You and James had made fast friends after both being sorted into Gryffindor and after spending seven years together, practically joined at the hip, it wasn't a surprise when you found yourself having romantic feelings for him. It must have been around fourth or fifth year when you realised you fancied him, around the same time everyone else your age was starting to actually like the idea of having a relationship…around the same time James Potter realised he liked Lily Evans.

You watched as he pursued her, watched as childish pranks turned into mature and serious displays of affection that eventually won the girl over. You watched as every moment of their relationship played out before your very eyes. You were the one James turned to when it came to wanting an opinion on important dates, on gifts and you smiled, each time you forced a smile onto your face and shoved your feelings down and helped him whenever he asked.

The moment that broke your heart the most though was when James showed up at your door one afternoon, you remembered it clear as day. He had looked nervous, more nervous than you’d seen him in a long time, and you had immediately invited him in, the two of you taking a seat on the couch. 

“What’s wrong?” You had asked him, watching as he smoothed his palms against his thighs before taking a breath and moving one hand to pull something out of his pocket. 

You physically felt your heart shatter as he opened a black box and presented a ring. It was a beautiful ring and you hated it. 

“What do you think?” James had asked after a few moments of silence passed between you. 

You blinked back the tears, refusing to cry in front of him, and instead forced another smile and looked from the ring to him before nodding, telling him it was perfect. That seemed to be the thing to relax him and a grin spread across his face as he started talking about how he was going to ask her out and all you could do was smile.

With the threat of the war hanging over everyone in the wizarding world, James and Lily decided to marry quickly after the engagement. Nothing extravagant, family and friends gathered together to witness the couple's marriage and you found yourself in line surrounded by other guests, making your way into the venue.

“Bride or groom?” A wizard at the door asked you and all you could do was stare at him for a moment. 

Despite being in love with James Potter you did actually like Lily, she was your friend and it only made your feelings all the more worse. Such formalities seemed strange when you knew them both so well.

“Bride or groom, miss?” The wizard asked you again and you shook your head.

“Sorry, um, groom.” You said in a small voice, stomach in knots as it felt like you were about to step into some sort of nightmare, perhaps you were already in one. The wizard smiled, pointing you in the direction of the groom's side of the room.

You had always known there was no chance of a relationship between you and James, not when he looked at Lily like he did but there was a part of you, a part of you that you hated, that had hoped for…something.

James Potter would always be your almost, the one that was meant to be but never could.

With a deep and shaky breath you smiled at the wizard and forced your feet to move. Once you were in the room your eyes immediately locked onto James. He looked handsome, of course he did, standing at the front of the room, talking with Sirius with a nervous but excited look on his face.

You felt your forced smile soften into something real because despite everything you really were happy for him. He was so in love with a girl who loved him as deeply as he did, he had found happiness even with everything going on. As much as you wished he had found that with you, you were happy for him. 

Despite being happy for him though you really couldn’t wait for this day to end.

It wasn’t long before everyone was seated and the quiet murmurs of conversation stopped as music filled the room and the guests rose from their seats. You stood and turned to the back of the room, breath catching as you saw Lily in the doorway. 

She looked beautiful. 

The dress she wore was gorgeous, hugging her waist and flowing out around her feet, a train following behind her as she walked the length of the aisle, holding a bouquet of flowers and a bright smile on her face that almost looked painful.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you desperately tried to fight them back as you took a shaky breath. It was real before, it had been real from the moment James had shown you the ring but now, watching her, you couldn’t help but wonder how different things could have been. How if you had told James how you had felt all those years ago things might be different. If you had told him would that be you walking down the aisle with a real smile on your face as opposed to the fake one you had worn for years?

Lily Evans really did make a beautiful bride and stood next to James, the pair of them so obviously in love with each other, you couldn’t help but finally let a few tears fall, choking back a sob as they said their ‘I do’s’.

You’d managed to stay to yourself after the ceremony, the party taking place at the Potter’s, which had been decorated as beautifully as everything else surrounding the wedding. Thankfully, James was so busy mingling with guests you had gotten away with isolating yourself, standing to the side of the garden with a drink in your hand trying not to look at the happy couple.

You had tried for years to push your feelings down, to accept that nothing would come from them and that they would only damage your friendship with James. Logically you knew all of that but emotionally you just couldn’t let go. James was one of the few good things in your life, the few solid things that you could always count on and it hurt, it hurt watching them together no matter how irrational it was.

You’d lost track of how many times you’d fought back tears today, cursing yourself as your eyes started stinging against and scrunched them shut as tightly as you could, effectively shutting out the rest of the guests and missing the way James spotted you from the other side of the garden and excused himself from the conversation he was having to make his way over to you, a frown on his face as he stepped closer.

“Hey,” He said softly, knocking his shoulder against yours gently and not missing the way you jumped.

“Hey.” You replied just as quietly, hoping that there was no proof of the fact you were on the verge of tears.

“Why are you over here?” He asked, keeping his voice at the same level, if you were closer to the party you would have struggled to hear each other but this far away it was fine.

You stayed silent for a few moments, taking a breath and forcing another smile on your face before turning to face him.

“Needed a minute,” You finally said and watched as his concerned look seemed to deepen, “How’s married life?” You asked to distract him, pointedly ignoring the pain in your chest at both the topic and the laugh James gave.

“Merlin, if you’d have told me how much talking I’d have to do I might’ve reconsidered the whole thing.” You let yourself chuckle along with him, hoping that it sounded convincing.

“I’m happy for you.” You told him and watched as his chuckle faded into a soft smile. Unable to stop yourself, you leaned your head down so it was resting against his shoulder and James didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you, letting his head rest on your head, placing a soft kiss to your hair.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my whole life, Y/N/N,” He told you and you could hear the sincerity in his tone, his voice almost a whisper as he spoke, “I just keep thinking, how did I get so lucky, you know? I found my soulmate and I got to marry her, how often does that happen?”

What a question, how often does somebody meet their soulmate and it actually works out for them? You could answer that, you could tell him that people rarely got that lucky and instead would spend the rest of their lives in love with somebody who they could never have, you could tell him that the ache in their chest should get easier to live with but it didn’t, it never would.

You pulled away from James, feeling a new set of tears well up, or maybe they were the same tears, either way you pulled away from him.

“You sure you’re alright?” James asked again, noticing the wetness in your eyes but you just nodded, lips thinning into a smile before you took a breath.

“Congratulations James.” You whispered and turned away from him, making your way across the garden and into the house, missing James’ frown.

You found yourself locked in the toilet, this time you were unable to stop the tears from falling down your face uncontrollably, your back pressed to the door and a hand over your mouth in a weak attempt to muffle any sobs that escaped. 

You knew you had to get back up, knew you had to go back out there and you knew, above all, you had to move on. You knew you could do the first two even if it would take everything in you to go back out but the third one, you knew it was impossible.

You would spend the rest of your life in love with a man you could never have.

Eventually you forced yourself up and splashed some water on your face, trying to get rid of any traces of tears before you left the room and headed back outside…just in time for the first dance.

Sirius spotted you and smiled softly, gesturing for you to join him as he stood with the guests to the side to watch the dance. Music filled the air and the couple started to move beautifully together just as you reached Sirius.

Sirius didn’t say anything, he didn’t take his eyes off of Lily and James but he did wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you into his chest. The two of you had never spoken about it but you knew he knew. 

You didn’t dwell on the thought though, didn’t care how pathetic you seemed to Sirius, you just kept watching the scene in front of you and couldn’t help but picture yourself in Lily’s place, an unfair thought but one that appeared anyway.

Maybe in some other world you were with James, maybe you were looking lovingly into his eyes whilst he held you close and whispered things that made you giggle. Maybe all these people were watching you and him move around elegantly to the music and maybe somebody else was standing to the side wishing they were you. 

Maybe you were by his side in another life.

But this was the life you had, a life where the man you loved had married another girl, a life where you hadn’t even gotten a chance with him, a life where your days were numbered due to the war and a life where you would never, ever be able to stop loving James Potter.

______

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Holding On & Letting Go

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Angstember Prompt - "I really hope you get her someday."

Even at eleven years old you knew James Potter was going to be an important person in your life. Of course back then you were only young, you didn’t know what lay ahead during your seven years at Hogwarts but you knew there was something about James Potter, something about the confident eleven year old who took one look at the scared muggle born girl on her own and immediately ushered her into his cart and walked next her to get sorted.

You remembered that day so clearly, almost like time hadn’t passed. You remembered James helping you adjust to magic, helping you with whatever you were confused with without hesitation. You remembered how James had dragged you outside, insisting that one of the best things about magic was flying, remembered how he had grinned as you refused to mount the broom only to compromise with you and before you knew it you were on a broom, James behind you as you went on your first flight.

You had years’ worth of fond, happy memories attached to James. For the first few years at Hogwarts there were no bad memories, sure the two of you had arguments but they were resolved before the day was over. You and James were attached at the hip, it was rare to be seen without the other, and so it didn’t surprise Remus when you told him at the beginning of fifth year that you had a crush on the boy.

You’d liked him for a while now, half way through third year you realised you liked him more than a friend but you hadn’t been too concerned with trying to figure out your feelings at thirteen. Now however you were fifteen, everyone around you was getting into relationships and you’d had years to think about what your feelings for James meant.

You also had a year of watching James’ crush on Lily Evans, watching as he made an idiot out of himself over and over again in an almost desperate attempt to capture her attention. Whilst Sirius laughed and encouraged it, you sat on the sidelines, a feeling in the pit of your stomach you couldn’t quite place but ignored as best you could. 

Fifth year came along and James hadn’t been as focused on Lily, instead he reigned himself in, offering up polite conversation to the girl but not much else. That was when you had confessed to Remus your feelings for James, knowing the boy would never share your conversation with him but still feeling like speaking the words aloud would cause something to shift. 

Remus had smiled at you, encouraged you to tell James how you felt, confident James felt the same for you. At first you had been adamantly against Remus’ advice, not wanting to mess up the dynamic you had with James but one night, long after everyone else had gone to bed and you and James had snuck out to lay out by the lake, looking up at the stars you had whispered your feelings to him.

The few seconds of silence that passed after your confession were torturously slow but then James had turned to you with a soft smile and asked you to go with him to Hogsmeade that weekend and you felt a weight you hadn’t known was there fall from your shoulders. 

From there it was easy dating James, the two of you already spent most of your time together anyway and five years of being friends made it feel like you knew everything about the other. There was no awkward getting to know each other phase, no uncomfortableness, it felt like nothing had changed except now you finally got to kiss him. 

It was easy to ignore at first. For the first few months of your relationship with James it was easy to get lost in him, so absorbed by the happiness you felt that you didn’t even realise it at first, not until the whispers around you got louder and the sympathetic looks multiplied. 

That’s when you noticed James’ straying eyes, the way he‘d leave your side and you’d spot him sitting with Lily or how even when she wasn’t involved in the conversation her name still somehow managed to get brought up.

You wanted to continue to ignore, to just remain oblivious and not have to deal with it and despite feeling like an idiot that’s exactly what you did. You refused to acknowledge any feelings James might have towards Lily, refused to listen as people told you it was only a matter of time before the two of them became a thing. If you went to bed with tears in your eyes some nights, having to share a room with the girl you were sharing James’ affection with then nobody had to know.

Just because his feelings for Lily had seemingly returned, or more accurately never left but had been buried for a while, didn’t mean he was any less involved with you. He was still there with you every day, still held your books, walked you to class, snuck the two of you out of the castle and asked you on dates. He still spent his nights with you tucked under his arm in front of the fire and smiled at you like he always had.

It almost made you wonder, one night alone in bed, if he was even aware of his own feelings for Lily, if he realised just how much he liked her. That’s when you paused, your breathing stopping for a second before you sucked in a sharp breath. What you and James had was comfortable, it was familiar, it reminded you of home when you were in his arms and you had to wonder if he felt the same. Surely he couldn’t, right? No matter how much you wanted to believe otherwise you had spent months ignoring the fact that when he walked into a room his gaze seemed to land on Lily before it did you.

The realisation had your heart breaking and you felt the tears sliding down your cheeks as you tried to muffle your cries. You had fallen for James, loved him as a best friend and as a boyfriend, though you’d yet to admit that one out loud, and you knew, no matter what happened between you and James, you knew he would never want to hurt you.

Somehow, even with the ache in your chest, you managed to fall asleep that night dreading your date to Hogsmeade the next morning.

The two of you sat opposite each other at a small table by the window, drinks in hand as you half-heartedly listened to James rambling on, your thoughts still very much still on the same train of thought as they had been last night.

“Hey,” James called softly, gaining your attention as he touched your hand, “you alright?” 

You were silent for a moment, completely unsure about how to answer that question. You knew your relationship with James was over at that point, if you were being honest it had been over for a long time but even now you were hesitant to admit it, hesitant to bring it to attention but you knew you needed to. 

At the end of the day James was still your best friend, even if that would sting for a while, and you had only ever what was best for him. If Lily Evans was what was best for him, or at least what he thought was best for him, then who were you to stand in the way?

Still it didn’t mean your heart wasn’t shattered.

Just as you opened your mouth to answer him you watched as his eyes flickered to the side, over to where the door was. Without needing to look you already knew who had just walked into The Three Broomsticks, you watched as James’ face lit up, a smile tugging unconsciously at his lips as his eyes followed her and still you turned your head slightly so you could see her, feeling your own eyes fill with tears.

Resignation was clear on your face even as your eyes fell closed to stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. You took a breath before turning back to James whose gaze was on you again, concern written across his features.

“I really hope you get her someday.” You told him shakily, two tears trailing down your right cheek as you spoke.

Those weren’t exactly the words you thought you were going to use to start this conversation but ultimately they seemed right. Despite how much your heart ached, despite how much you wished it was you he wanted to be with, at the end of the day all you wanted was him happy.

You watched as the concern on James' face turned to confusion, his eyebrows knitting together as he tilted his head. 

“What?” He finally asked, his confusion just as clear in his tone as it was on his face.

“You like her, James.” You told him, watching as his eyes widened as they moved to look at Lily again before he turned back to you, shaking his head as he did. “It’s ok, I’ve known for a long time I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“I like you, Y/N/N.” He told you firmly, sounding like he truly believed those words and you didn’t doubt it.

“I know,” You told him, a smile making its way onto your face despite the fact that more and more tears seemed to fall from your eyes. ‘I know you do but I’m not her.” Your voice broke as you spoke, the words had you fighting back more tears.

“Y/N,” James tried again but you shook your head.

“Your whole face lights up when she so much as enters a room and when she talks to you, Merlin’s beard, I’ve never seen you smile brighter. I wish it was me, James, believe me I wish more than anything I was the one who could make you that happy but I’m not and I love you so much that I just want you to be happy…even if it’s not with me.” As you spoke you had to pause, needing to take a shaky breath as the tears continued to pour from your eyes.

James’ eyes widened at the love confession casually thrown into the speech, something you hadn’t even meant to let slip out but didn’t regret. They weren’t spoken to make him feel back but more so because you wanted him to know, know how much he meant to you and how much you really didn’t want there to be any hatred between the two of you.

You watched his eyes drift over towards Lily again before he looked to you, looking equally as heartbroken as you felt.

“I love you, you know that right?” He asked you, eyes pleading with you to know he was being honest and you couldn’t help but laugh softly despite the tears as you nodded.

“I know you do, baby,” you whispered, laugh fading into a shaky smile and you watched as James’ own eyes became watery, “just not like how you love her.” 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N/N.” He apologised, words shaky and broken as he reached out and took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

“I know you are.” You said again, squeezing his hand back and watching as a tear fell down his cheek. “I meant it, you know.”

“Meant what?” He asked, the two of you keeping your voices low as you spoke.

“I really do hope you get her.” You told him and watched his eyes shut as he shook his head, opening them to look at you with wide, apologetic eyes. 

Before James had the chance to reply you brought his hand up to your lips and pressed a gentle, barely there kiss to the skin before letting it fall back to the table and giving it a final squeeze. With that you pulled away from him and stood up, watching as his face seemed to crumble even more as he watched you.

He opened his mouth as if to say something more but seemed to decide against it as it fell closed. Instead he forced a shaky smile onto his face as more tears made their way down his cheeks. You smiled back at him, feeling too many emotions to make sense of as you turned away from him and out of the inn, ignoring the looks people sent you, not even caring about what a state you’d look like now with tears still falling down your face.

As you began your walk back to the castle alone you knew, despite how much you were hurting right now, despite how much you wanted to curl up in your room and cry until everything felt better, you knew you had done the right thing, not only for James but for yourself. 

For months you’d let your relationship continue despite knowing about his feelings for Lily, all because you weren’t ready to let him go. You still weren’t ready to be without him in all honesty but you knew it wasn’t fair to yourself to stay with somebody who wasn’t as all in as you were.

You would always love James Potter, it seemed impossible that there was a universe out there that could exist without you loving him. Even if you had to do the hardest thing and let him go it didn’t mean you loved him any less, Merlin, it probably showed you loved him more, the fact you were willing to let him go, willing to put his own happiness above your own. You would always love James Potter, it was just one of the many facts of life, even if he didn’t love you back, even if it meant watching him with another girl, your love for him would never fade.

____

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Midnight Rain

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Prompt -  'He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name.'

The only thing that seemed to matter to your family was blood purity. They wanted to be seen as the perfect purebloods, the ones who were rich and well off, never wanting for anything. To the whole world you seemed like a picture perfect family, yet as it always went behind closed doors you were anything but.

You hated your family, hated that they didn’t care for anything other than how they were perceived by the world. You hated growing up without love or affection, hated being left with nannies and house elves as your only company, hated that the only time your family could smile around each other was when you attended the fancy balls thrown by the other pureblood families or the meals hosted at your own manor in an attempt to outdo the last event. 

You hated your town, the fancy place that was hidden far away from ‘filthy muggles and tainted blood’, hated how you felt caged in, trapped in a place others would kill to live. You despised that you were only allowed to associate yourself with purebloods.

Your family had long had your engagement planned, you were always to be married to a Black. It had always meant to be a union with the first born Black but your parents had refused to let you wed the boy who went against everything they believed in and instead you were to be married to the younger Black.

It wasn’t like you didn’t like Regulus. He was a nice enough boy but he was much too willing to oblige his family’s every wish, another pureblood wanting to look good for the sake of public appearance even if it meant a life without happiness, a life where your love was fake and you would both be miserable.

Sirius on the other hand, he was somebody you could get along with, somebody you could picture being in your life whilst being happy. The two of you weren’t allowed to associate with each other, your family had forbidden it once they saw you getting close with the older Black. Sirius had seemed to take that as a personal challenge and got you alone every moment he could at parties you were both forced to attend.

It had led to many arguments between you and your parents.

This had been an ongoing battle for years now, a challenge Sirius had been winning at since before you went to Hogwarts. It was there that you thought you would have more freedom, freedom to socialise with people outside of the regular purebloods, freedom to talk to Sirius whenever you wanted.

What you didn’t account for was the other Slytherin reporting your every move back to your parents and them knowing exactly who you were talking to. Their threats had been enough to isolate you from everyone in your first year at Hogwarts, even despite Sirius’ attempts to sneak you away you pulled back from everybody.

That was the way though, that was the way your life was always going to be spent. You would always be alone even if you had a husband at your side and an heir to leave everything to, an heir who would continue the cycle of living for appearances rather than happiness.

Then Regulus came to Hogwarts the next year.

The two of you were forced together at every instance and eventually it just became second nature to gravitate towards each other. Spending so much time around a person created a bond between the two of you and you did consider him a friend but that was all.

Years passed by in the same repetitive cycle, you and Regulus got closer as time passed and eventually it wasn’t such a chore to be in his company. You spent plenty of summers at the Black house and him at yours, parties, balls, lunches all to be attended together.

You had to admit though, if only to yourself, that you missed Sirius dearly.

As you entered into your third year of Hogwarts it seemed Sirius had given up his own challenge of getting you to pull away from your family’s ideals, clearly having given up on you. 

Some days you thought he was right to have given up. Some days you forgot that there was more to life than what you had, some days you let yourself fall into the trap of familiarity. Regulus made it easy to forget that this wasn’t what you wanted. 

You could admit you loved him, you knew he loved you too but you just loved each other differently. He had fallen for you, what had started as a relationship arranged before his birth had turned into something real, he wanted to marry you, to make you his bride and provide for you.

You loved Regulus dearly. He was your best friend and part of you wished you could love him more. It would be so much easier if you did. Regulus was beautiful, he was intelligent and he cared so much. He was perfect and he too deserved better than some forced marriage that neither of you had chosen for yourselves.

Maybe if things had been different, maybe if you and Regulus hadn’t been shoved together without a say, then maybe you could have fallen in love with him but that wasn’t how this story played out. 

It didn’t help that no matter how much time had passed your thoughts never quite managed to stray away from Sirius. You had always wondered what might have happened between the two of you if you hadn’t been forced to stay away from him. 

Even now years down the line, the two of you in your sixth year of Hogwarts, your eyes still wandered over to the Gryffindor table, having to fight back a smile when you saw his eyes were already watching you. Sometimes he smiled at you, sometimes he’d grin or smirk, sometimes he threw a wink your way and other times he looked sad and you felt that sadness deep in your own bones. 

With Sirius there was always the lingering question, deep down both of you were always thinking of the what if’s, the what could have been. Some days you felt like you could drown in sadness and the questions that would forever remain unanswered.

“They’re planning the wedding.” Regulus told you one morning as you sat next to him in the Great Hall, barely awake but his words had your eyes widening.

“They can’t do that, they told us it wasn't to happen until after we left here.” You said with a frown, eyebrows knitting together as you turned to look at him properly. 

“Mother sent me a letter this morning, I’m sure you’ll get one too. Apparently something is happening, you know there has been a political shift lately and Mother and Father have been involved in something more but I don’t know much about it yet. I just know that we are to be married by the end of the year.” Regulus explained and you had to force yourself to swallow around the sudden lump in your throat.

You turned away from Regulus, shifting in your seat so you were looking ahead and busied yourself with pouring a drink before your eyes locked onto the other Black across the room. He was already looking at you, no smirk or sadness but this time with concern. His eyes were wide as he tilted his head to the side, silently asking if you were ok and you couldn’t deal with that right now, Sirius’ concern might just be the thing to push you over the edge.

“The end of the year?” You finally asked, looking away from Sirius as Regulus nodded.

“It’s not so bad, right?” He asked hesitantly and you forced yourself not to grimace but there was a stinging in your eyes you desperately tried to push down. “I know this was planned by our parents but you know I will take care of you, don’t you?”

You gave him a tight lipped smile as you nodded, forcing yourself not to cry. Regulus was right, it wasn’t so bad, it could be much worse, you could be being forced to marry a person who didn’t care for you, one who would use you for an heir before tossing you aside. At least you and Regulus had the luxury of being friends.

And yet that thought didn’t comfort you, if anything it made your heart ache more. 

“No it’s not bad, Regulus.” You told him as evenly as you could manage and it seemed to work as he relaxed slightly in his seat. “Sorry it just came as a shock to me.”

“I understand,” Regulus told you with a soft smile, his hand resting over yours on the table. “It’ll be fine though, we’ll marry and everything will be easier.”

You smiled at him again, turning your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze before pulling away. 

“I know,” You said before standing, needing to be alone, “I forgot to pick up my charm’s homework. I’ll see you in class.”

You didn’t rush out of the room, there were too many eyes watching your reaction so you walked out at your normal pace, head held high and a neutral expression on your face. It wasn’t until you were out of the Great Hall that you picked up the pace and quickly made your way out of the castle.

It didn’t take you long to find an empty spot near the lake, it was still early and the autumn chill was keeping most people inside. 

You were glad for the emptiness as you sat down on the ground, tears trying to make their way down your face but you refused to let them fall. You did love Regulus, he truly was your best friend but you weren’t like him, no matter how hard you tried to make yourself be, no matter how hard you told yourself you could marry him and be content.

Regulus wanted to please his parents, he wanted the comfortable life of doing as he was told. You didn’t want that, you didn’t want to marry somebody who didn’t love you, somebody who only wanted you for appearance’s sake. You wanted the hard work a real relationship took, you wanted the pain and the tears and the overwhelming happiness that came with truly being in love. 

Regulus wanted a bride that would give him a child and make the Black family look good, he expected you to stay home, to raise a child and gossip with the other pureblood ladies and host parties and teas. You didn’t want that, you wanted to make a name for yourself, you wanted a job and you wanted to work hard and achieve your goals, goals that didn’t involve staying at home all day.

You wanted more than what life was offering you but you didn’t know how to get out of the place you were stuck.

“Hey.” A voice called out to you softly causing you to jump before you turned your head.

Sirius stood a few steps behind you, a small, sympathetic smile on his face as he nodded to the space next to you. 

It wasn’t as though you and Sirius had completely cut each other off in the years since you were forbidden from talking to each other but it had been much too long since you had been able to properly have a real conversation, one that lasted longer than the five minutes you could steal before you were caught and it was reported back to both the Black’s and your parents. 

“What happened?” He asked, keeping his voice quiet, after sitting down next to you, so close you could feel his arm against yours.

“Me and Regulus are getting married.” You told him, matching the softness of his voice.

“Well yeah,” Sirius chuckled and you could feel his arm moving as he laughed, “we all knew that was happening.” 

“We’re getting married before the year is over.” You clarified and watched from the corner of your eye as he tensed up and looked at you in shock.

“They can’t do that!” He protested but both of you knew that both of your parents could do whatever they wanted so you could do nothing but shrug. 

“Y/N,” he began but cut himself off with a sigh. You didn’t say anything because what was there to say? You didn’t know how you could change what was to happen, you knew you’d give anything to not be forced into this marriage no matter how much you cared for Regulus but you didn’t know how to leave.

The second you left you knew you’d be cut off from everything, you’d had no money, no access to the vaults, no access to any of your properties. You’d be completely alone.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” Sirius finally pleaded and you smiled sadly as you turned to look at him, his own expression showing you how desperately he wanted to help. “Tell me what you want to do.”

“I want to leave.” You finally confessed out loud for the first time, a wet chuckle escaping you as the tears you had desperately fought back made their way back to your eyes. “I want to leave them all behind. I love Regulus, he’s my best friend but I don’t want to marry him, Sirius! I don’t want to be married for appearances and heirs, I want to marry somebody I love, I want to be free to make my own decisions and not have to have my parents controlling every part of my life.”

You were crying by the end of your speech, tears you’d been holding in for years finally flowed freely down your cheeks and you could do nothing to stop them, could only sob as you realised there was no way out of this for you.

Sirius had no words either, he could do nothing but pull you into his arms, an action that made you sob even harder because this was all you had wanted for so long, you couldn’t remember the last time Sirius hugged you. When you were younger Sirius used to hug you close all the time, the two of you held hands and bent your heads together and now you weren’t even allowed to talk to one another.

Yet another thing your parents controlled.

“You don’t have to marry him.” Sirius whispered into your hair, shushing you as you let out a scoff that turned into a sob. “I mean it, you don’t have to marry him if you don’t want to. I’ll talk to James and see if Mr and Mrs Potter can help us out but you’re not marrying him, Y/N/N, you deserve better than the life of a pureblood wife.”

His words made you cry harder and you don’t know just how long the two of you sat alone by the lake, just holding each other as tears flooded your cheeks as some stung at Sirius’ own eyes but he refused to let them fall as he focused on you, whispering whatever words came to mind as he brushed his hand against your arm.  

Eventually you pulled back from him and went to lift your hands in an attempt to wipe the tears from your face but Sirius beat you to it, his hands coming to rest on your cheeks as his thumbs gently brushed your tears away.

“I’ll find you a way out of this,” Sirius told you as he rested his forehead against yours and you let yourself relax into the touch. “I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Sirius.” You murmured softly, a sad smile spreading across your face as you lifted one of your hands to rest against his. “We both know this is the way it’s going to be.”

“I got out, I’ll get you out too.” He promised again and your smile widened a small bit as you nodded. “I don’t want you to marry him.”

“I love Regulus but he is ready to throw his whole life away and pretend he’s happy to please everyone…I can’t do that Sirius, I thought I could but I can’t.” You told him as he brushed his thumb against your cheek softly.

“We’ll figure something out, love.” He told you softly and you could stop the rush of warmth that seemed to run through you at the pet name, a shaky smile spread across your face as you nodded again.

It was days before your wedding was due to take place during the Christmas holiday, in the months that had passed you had talked to Sirius more than you had in the last few years, the two of you finding a moment or two each day to talk in an empty classroom.

It was like the feelings that had been there as a child had suddenly returned at full force, of course they had never gone away completely but not being able to talk to Sirius had meant you had shoved your feelings deep down. 

With just a few days until you returned home you and Regulus had both been receiving daily letters informing you of wedding updates, times you needed to be here, when you needed to be there, suits and dresses had been bought and both families were going all out in an attempt to put all other weddings to shame.

Everything for the sake of appearances no matter how unhappy you were.

You were expected to gush over the upcoming wedding and share the newest plans with your friends in your house and even though it made you sick to your stomach you went along with it to keep up the image. Regulus seemed much more at ease and a part of you was furious at him for being able to go along so easily with everything. 

He smiled and seemed to light up like sunshine when he spoke of the wedding plans whereas you felt like the streets when the rain was hammering down at midnight, cold, dark, and alone. He seemed genuinely happy to be marrying you and you wished you could force yourself to pretend but you couldn’t.

Though you supposed you had no choice but to anymore.

That was until you were strolling the corridors late at night, the last night before you went home to be married off, needing a moment away from the Slytherin common room and all the people faking interest in your big day. 

A hand reached out of nowhere and dragged you into an empty classroom, the other hand coming up to cover your mouth as you let out a yelp but before you could struggle a familiar voice spoke against your ear causing you to suppress a shudder.

“Relax love, it’s just me.” Sirius laughed and you rolled your eyes, playfully pushing him away from you as you turned to face him. “What are you doing wandering the halls at midnight?”

“Needed to be away from everyone.” You told him with another eyeroll and watched as he smiled at you before making a move to leave the room.

“Guess I know when I’m not wanted.” He said, amusement clear in his voice and you grinned as you caught his hand and dragged him further into the room, sitting on top of one of the desks cross legged, Sirius mirroring your expression as he sat opposite you. 

“You know that never applies to you.” You told him, keeping your tone light but meaning the words and you saw how his whole face seemed to light up before he tried to brush it off.

“So…” Sirius grinned at you and you raised an eyebrow at him expectantly but he just smiled wider somehow.

“So…” You repeated, urging him to continue and he sat up straighter before he spoke again.

“Do you want some good news?” He asked you and your eyebrows knitted together as you looked at him questioningly, gesturing for him to carry on.

“Sirius,” You complained when he didn’t speak, causing him to let out a laugh, “what’s your news?”

“You’re staying with the Potter’s.” He told you and before you could say anything he carried on. “They let me stay there and I talked to James about everything and then we both talked to his parents and they insisted you stay with them for holidays like I do. You’ll love it, the Potter’s are the best and they have a spare bedroom already set up for you. I told them you’d probably be cut off and they said you didn’t need to worry about anything and that-”

“Sirius.” You choked out, cutting him off as tears filled your eyes.

“Hey, this is a good thing.” Sirius told you, reaching out to take your hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “I promise there’s no strings attached, the Potter’s are good people, best I ever met anyway.”

“You didn’t have to do this for me.” You told him, feeling your throat choke up as you stared at him with wide, teary eyes. 

“Course I did.” Sirius told you with a soft laugh, squeezing your hand again. “Y/N, I’d do anything for you. I know we went a while without talking to each other properly but I never stopped caring about you. I wasn’t going to sit by and watch you marry Regulus, not when you deserve to be happy.” 

You felt a few tears fall down your cheeks even as a smile made its way onto your face and you couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped you causing Sirius’ smile to widen. 

“Thank you.” You managed to choke out and Sirius just shook his head at you. “I mean it, Sirius, you didn’t have to do all this. I’ll never be able to thank you for this.”

“Shut up,” He laughed, causing you to grin at him, “You never have to thank me, I’m just glad you get to make your own choices now.”

He was right, you were free to do what you wanted now and it felt…strangely terrifying. You’d never had the option of making your own choices before and now you were free thanks to Sirius, thanks to the man you were falling for.

Who were you kidding? You had fallen for Sirius a long time ago. 

Your eyes shifted down to his lips and you knew he noticed but found that you didn’t care and apparently Sirius wasn’t against it as his tongue poked out to wet his lips before his own eyes flicked down to your lips before he looked back to your eyes, a questioning look in his. 

You could only grin over at him and he smiled brightly before he lifted his hand to your cheek and let his thumb trace the skin of your cheekbone. He brought your face close to his, letting his forehead rest against yours as he glanced down to your lips again.

“You sur-” Sirius went to ask but you couldn’t wait any longer, you had waited years for this and leaned up to close the distance between you, taking Sirius by surprise if the muffled noise that escaped him was any clue but he recovered quickly.

The kiss was everything you had imagined it would be, it was rushed and hungry and filled with longing, filled with relief that you could finally do it. Sirius held your face in his hands and kissed you deeply, kissed you until you were out of breath and then some more before finally pulling away.

“Wanted to do that for so long.” He murmured against your lips as he leaned forward to press a smaller, barely there kiss against them.

“Me too.” You whispered breathlessly, smiling softly over at him and Sirius couldn’t help but press his lips to yours again causing you to laugh against his lips, the two of you smiling too wide to properly kiss again before he pulled away.

“Thank you, Sirius.” You told him as you rested your foreheads together and Sirius just wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you closer, content to just hold you after waiting years for the chance to do so and not planning to let you go until you wanted to leave.

_____________

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Prompt - ‘You saw me start to believe for the first time.’

Requested - @katsuniverse​

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The difference between you and James was that he came from a family that showered him in love, a family with two parents who married for love without caring what other people thought, a family that couldn’t care less about blood purity and keeping family lines ‘clean’.

Your family only cared about that, muggles were respected less than house elves, if you even dared to glance at somebody who wasn’t of pureblood descent then they’d be sure to let you know how much of a traitor you were to the family. Your parents didn’t love each other, they loathed each other, sure in public people believed they were the perfect couple but the reality of it was they couldn’t have a single conversation behind closed doors without it turning into a screaming match.

Perhaps that was why you and Sirius had been fast friends. From a young age both of you had known this life wasn’t for you, the prejudice and judgement coming from people who thought they were so much better than others just because they were purebloods. Both of you forced to attend the parties that were only hosted in an effort to show how superior one family was from the other, a similar one hosted the next week just to prove who was better.

You hated those parties and yet you were made to attend each one of them, mainly sticking with Sirius and trying to stifle your laughter as he made fun of the stuck up witches and wizards around the room.

Going to Hogwarts was the break you needed. Finally being away from your family, from their high class rules, their cruel words and harsher glares, the parties and the arguments. It was a relief to leave home but their judgement still followed you down the Great Hall.

You and Sirius traded apprehensive looks. Both the Y/L/N and the Black family had been Slytherin’s for as far back as anybody could remember, it was expected that you and Sirius would follow that tradition.

You had known for years that Sirius was determined to be in any house but Slytherin, promising that he would find a way to trick the hat if he needed to. You thought he’d be ok though, Sirius was your best friend and nothing at all like the Slytherin that surrounded you on a daily basis, you didn’t think it would be a struggle for him to be placed anywhere else. You figured he’d do well in Gryffindor, he was one of the bravest people you’d met after all, never one to back down even against his father’s fists and mother’s sharp nails that left marks after one too many glasses of wine.

You yourself were torn, of course you hated everything your family stood for, of course you wanted to break free from them but thinking that and actually doing it were two different things. You had no love for your family but you knew their disappointment would still hit hard if you were placed anywhere but Slytherin.

“Now what should we do with you?” The hat asked once Professor McGonagall placed the ancient thing on your head. “A brilliant mind, older than your years aren’t you? Cunning and quick on your feet. But not Slytherin, eh?  For as long as I can remember the Y/L/N’s have been Slytherin’s. Of course that doesn’t mean you have to be. No, no I don’t think Slytherin is where you belong. A brave girl like you belongs in…

Gryffindor!” The Hat exclaimed and you felt your eyes widen in shock, gaze immediately seeking out Sirius who was beaming at you, up on his feet and whooping as you forced yourself off the stool and over to him.

“Breathe.” Sirius whispered as the remaining students were sorted, you not paying attention to any of it as your mind flooded with fear of what your family would do. “We’ll be fine.”

You glanced over at Sirius who smiled at you, knocking into your shoulder softly and you nodded, taking a deep breath and finally focusing on those around you. Opposite you were the two boys you’d met on the train, the pale boy with scars scattered around his face and hands sat across from Sirius and the boy with messy brown hair and warm eyes was facing you.

“You two alright?” James asked and you watched as Sirius glanced at you before grinning, taking the attention of you for a moment.

“I’m brilliant, mate. Merlin, mother’s going to be furious with me!” Sirius exclaimed and you couldn’t help but join in as Remus and James laughed, feeling some of the tension leave you.

You were a Gryffindor. There was nothing you could do to change that, no amount of angry words or letters could change that now. So instead you let yourself enjoy your first night at Hogwarts, pushing all thoughts of your family aside as you laughed with Sirius and the two others who would all become your best friends before the year was finished.

Over the years James had watched you closely. He had known when he was eleven that you were special, had known you were important. You were one of his best friends, he was always going to look out for you.

At thirteen he realised he liked you, at fourteen he realised he loved you. He never said anything though, he didn’t want to risk losing you. Every time somebody brought up love or crushes you always shut down, tuning the conversation out and refusing to take part, it didn’t matter how much they teased and nudged you, you never spoke about it.

James had been curious for a while, he’d even gone to ask you about it a few times but Sirius always seemed to know when he was going to, pulling him aside and distracting him with something or just subtly shaking his head when James approached you.

It took a while but eventually Sirius realised James was going to keep asking you so he waited until you’d gone up to bed and told him about your parents. Of course James already knew about them, he’d watched you rant about them, watched you tense up when the family owl flew into the Great Hall, watched how you stopped eating and zoned out when the school year was over and you knew you’d be going back to them.

Once Sirius told him James figured it made sense why you thought love was stupid. His heart ached that you thought all relationships were doomed, that the only example you had was set by those who married for status and not for love.

James wanted to change your mind. He wanted you to see that love was real, that it was a good thing, that it could work.

He went to bed that night with his thoughts racing, knowing he had all summer to come up with a way to get you to believe in love.

By the time autumn had arrived James had created and thrown out more plans than he could recall. He didn’t have a solid idea by the time he boarded the train and sat down next to you, his smile softening when he saw how tired you looked, knowing how draining the summer was for you at home.

He decided then and there that he didn’t need some elaborate plan, he didn’t need the others to help him come up with one either. All he had to do was show you that counting on somebody, that spending time with them and letting yourself fall wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Here.” He murmured to you, the word nearly getting lost in the noise of the train, everybody excitedly greeting each other as they made their way into compartments.

You looked over at James, eyebrows knitting together as you looked at him. James couldn’t help but grin as your face lit up when you took one of the cupcakes James held out to you, something Mrs Potter had taken to making and sending him off with at the beginning of the third year.

You and James easily fell into conversation, James careful not to ask too many questions about your summer even as you asked about his. Sometimes you did talk about it but it was usually in the early hours of the morning when everyone else had gone to bed, you and him alone in the common room feeling like the secrets you shared there were safe to say.

It wasn’t long before Remus and Sirius joined the two of you and soon enough you were back at Hogwarts, happy to be back home.

“Come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?” James asked as he caught up to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder when he saw you leave the Great Hall.

You looked up at him with a smile, a smile that James loved putting on your face and swore he’d keep there. You didn’t move from under his arm letting him lead you out of the castle, if anything you shifted closer to him when the autumn air hit you.

“Don’t we always go to Hogsmeade together?” You asked, raising your eyebrow at him questioning.

“No, we always go with Sirius and Remus.” James told you and it was true, all four of you always went together unless Sirius was trying to impress a girl but that usually ended with him finding you all a few hours later. “I’m asking you to come with me.”

You stayed silent for a moment, feeling a wave of nerves run through you. You’d known for a long time now that you liked James. You hadn’t wanted to admit it to even yourself for so long but you couldn’t deny the fact that he was the one you sought out after a bad day, he was the one you went to for a distraction, he was the one you looked for when you entered a room, he was the one who took a weight of your shoulders upon seeing him after spending the summer with your family.

You loved James and it terrified you.

Nothing good could come from it. You knew what relationships turned into, you had watched as even the best intended relationships turned cold and cruel. You couldn’t have that happen between you and James, you’d rather never tell the man how you felt than watch as you and he turned into something dark and twisted.

And yet even with the sliver of fear you felt you had never been all that good at denying James Potter of anything he asked for.

“So,” James stretched the word out when you had gone too long without answering him. “Will you come with me?”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you.” You told him, a small smile on your face as you felt excitement mix with your nerves and fear.

A few days later found you pacing the lengths of your room, thankful that the other girls had left for breakfast, leaving you alone to freak out about going out with James. You don’t know why you were so nervous, it was just James and it wasn’t a date.

Yet some hopeful, traitorous part of you wished it was.

“You know he likes you right?” Sirius’ voice startled you out of your thoughts and you whipped around to face him, glaring at him for frightening you.

You’d ask how he even got into the girls dormitories but you had long since given up asking how Sirius did half the things he managed.

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” You told him stiffly, turning away from him to busy yourself with rifling through your trunk.

“Come off it Y/N/N. He’s a good lad, one of the best, he’ll treat you right. What’s so wrong with giving him a chance? I know you like him too.” Sirius sighed, moving further into the room and onto your bed.

“Don’t you think I know all that?” You snapped, glaring at your oldest friend before taking a deep breath and moving to sit next to him, letting him wrap his arm around you to pull you closer and resting your head on his shoulder. “I just, I can’t Sirius. I can’t risk losing him, I can’t risk falling into the same trap every other couple we know has, I won’t jeopardise what we have now for us to end up hating each other.”

“Y/N, you’re not going to end up like our parents. They never loved each other, you know that. You won’t be dating James because you’ve been ordered too, because he’s a pureblood who only calls about popping our heirs and looking good to other purebloods. Neither of you care about that stuff.” Sirius told you softly, resting his head on yours and letting his eyes fall shut as silence washed over the two of you.

“I really like him.” You finally confessed, voice barely louder than a whisper but Sirius heard, a sad smile spreading across his face.

“I know you do. Go out with him, enjoy yourself, let yourself be happy.” Sirius said and you nodded, taking a moment to gather yourself before pulling yourself off the bed.

“See you later?” You asked as you slipped a robe on, ducking into the bathroom to check yourself one last time.

“I wanna hear all about it!” Sirius grinned as you rolled your eyes, heading down to the common room and seeing James waiting for you.

“You ready?” He asked, a smile spreading across his face as he saw you and you smiled back nodding. “You look beautiful by the way.”

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, your smile turning shy as you ducked your head, following him out of the common room.

“Thank you.” You said softly, suddenly so unsure how to act around James despite having been friends for years. “You look good too.”

The walk through Hogwarts was silent, James wondered if he was making the right call. He knew how nervous you were, Sirius had been distracted all morning and only settled once he announced he was going to check on you. Your fears were clearly deeper than he had originally thought but then he looked over at you and knew he would never regret this.

He just had to hope you didn’t regret it either.

“You remember the first time we came here?” James asked you with a smirk, watching as you rolled your eyes again but your smile widened and that’s all James needed.

“I’d known you for two weeks, you can’t blame me for being cautious!” You defended yourself, James laughing and the sound made you relax a little bit.

“You were terrified.” James grinned and you nudged his shoulder.

“We were eleven, who gives an eleven year old an invisibility cloak?”

“I told you we’d make a rebel out of you.” You and James continued talking and laughing, reminiscing on your years at Hogwarts until you were completely relaxed, no nerves or fear running through you as you let yourself fall into the familiar comfort of James’ company.

After that day at Hogsmeade you decided not to overthink every decision you made. Of course one outing didn’t automatically fix everything you believed but you were willing to at least follow Sirius’ advice of giving it a try. You were still terrified of losing James, of turning into your parents but you also really wanted to be with James.

So one outing turned into two then three until months had passed and you and James were spending all your free time together, of course that didn’t deviate from your usual schedule but this year it was different. This year it was filled with shy glances and gentle brushing of hands which neither of you were brave enough to grab, it was filled with sneaking out and wandering the grounds together, of somehow getting to know each other more which you hadn’t thought possible.

Tonight the two of you sat outside by the black lake, James had enlisted the help of the others to make a picnic, getting as much food as the house elves would give them and setting up a spot for the two of you.

The food had long since been eaten and the sun was finally beginning to set. James rubbed his hands on his thighs, desperately trying to remember the speech he had planned earlier but coming up empty each time.

You looked out at the water, at some point you had shifted closer to James and rested your head on his shoulder. If somebody would have told you you’d be here months ago you’d have laughed in their face but now it felt right, everything about these last few months felt right.

Falling in love with James Potter felt right.

“You okay?” You murmured softly, not wanting to disturb the peace but James had been quiet for a while now and you hadn’t missed how nervous he’d seemed throughout dinner.

James wasn’t sure how to answer that. He was amazing, he was sat with the girl he loved leaning against him, so happy for every second he got to spend with you and yet he was also nervous because he was so desperate to tell you how he felt, needing you to know that he loved you, to know you were his world.

“James?” You said again, moving so you could look over at him.

“I love you.” James blurted out, his eyes widening at the same time as yours did.

He hadn’t meant to say that, well ok he had but he had a whole speech, he was going to ease you into it. The last thing he wanted was to scare you off and have you leave him.

“James,” You said softly, shocked at his words that left you equal parts nervous and overjoyed.

“No, wait, just let me…” James trailed off with a sigh before sitting up and turning to face you properly. “I know you don’t think this is going to work, I know you look at your mum and dad and hate what they have but that’s never going to be us. We’re choosing each other because we want to, not because of something as stupid as blood purity. I know you're scared but let me show you how good we can be.”

James watched you closely, part of him expected you to bolt but then he watched your face soften into a smile, he watched as the tension that had built in your shoulders left and you looked at him like it was your first time really seeing him.

James Potter was watching you believe for the first time.

Believe in him, believe in love, believe that he could be the one for you, believe that it wouldn’t end in spite and hatred but it could just be love.

“I love you too.” You finally said and James let out a surprised laugh, a grin spreading across his face as he stared at you.

You were in love with him.

“Can I please kiss you?” He asked, his voice coming out more of a beg causing you to laugh softly as you nodded, shifting closer to him and savouring the feeling of his palm cupping your cheek, memorising the way his thumb ran across your cheekbone as he held you like you were a prized possession.

“I really love you.” He murmured before pressing his lips to yours.

He had been waiting for so long to kiss you and now that he finally knew how your lips felt against his he knew he’d never be able to go without. One taste and he was addicted. The kiss was soft but eager, the two of you gripping each other, desperately trying to get as close as you could.

When you finally pulled away you were both panting for breath, James rested his forehead against yours to keep you close to him, not ready to let you go yet.

“So you’ll be mine then?” James asked breathlessly and you couldn’t help but smile brightly at him as you nodded. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this, I’m gonna spend the rest of our lives proving this will last, that it will always feel this good.”

You really hoped James was able to keep his promise, the way he made you feel in this moment was enough to push any doubts out of your head. How could something that feels this beautiful ever turn into something so dreadful? You wanted to believe that love wasn’t like that and you were more than happy to let James be the one to prove it to you.

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