All Too Well
All Too Well

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Prompt - 'It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.'
Hogwarts was bursting with excitement as many students prepared to go home for the holidays. This was the first year you had something to look forward to as your boyfriend, James Potter, had extended an invitation from his parents to you for their annual christmas party.
Everyone was chattering away loudly as they headed down to the train, all ready for the holidays to begin.
James and you walked together hand in hand surrounded by his friends. Sirius, Remus and Peter joined the two of you in the cart and it wasn’t soon before the train pulled away from the station and the five of you were headed home.
You and James hadn’t been dating for long, just over four months, but you knew you were head over heels for him. It was hard not to fall for him, everything about him felt safe, when you were tucked up against him, feeling his laugh rumble through his chest, you felt like that was the closest to home you’d felt in a long time.
Sitting here now, James’ arm wrapped around your shoulder pulling you into him, you felt yourself falling a little bit more in love with him. You let your head rest on his shoulder, smiling as you felt his lips against your head before he turned back to joking with Sirius.
The comforting feel of being pressed against James and the movement from the train was all it took to lull you to sleep.
“Y/N/N,” A soft voice said, gently shaking you awake.
You scrunched your nose up, blinking hard before opening your eyes and seeing James next to you wearing a soft smile.
“We’re here.” He told you before standing and holding a hand out to you. It wasn’t long before the two of you were on the platform saying your goodbyes.
“I’ll see you soon,” You told him, watching as he glanced from his friends back to you before nodding. He leaned down to give you a quick kiss, saying goodbye to you and made his way over to his little group.
As much as you loved James, though you’d yet to say those words to him, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel like you came second place to his friends. It wasn’t like you wanted him to give them up and only spend all his time with you but some days you couldn’t help but wish he paid half as much attention to you as he did them.
You frowned as you shook your head, blaming those thoughts on the lingering tiredness before making your way over to where your parents were waiting for you.
-
You had barely heard from James since you’d arrived back home for the holidays, a few letters here and there but no calls using the fireplace. In one of his letters James had told you that his parents had offered to let you come around a few days earlier and sleep over, wanting to get to know the girl their son was dating.
You were excited to finally spend some time with James and he had told you that he and Sirius were going to Diagon Alley to get some Christmas presents. You had agreed to meet up with them in The Leaky Cauldron and began to get ready for the day.
It wasn’t long before you were ready, bags packed and slipping a red scarf around your neck. You said goodbye to your parents before taking the floo over to The Leaky Cauldron.
You saw James and Sirius tucked away in the corner and quickly made your way over, pulling your cloak tighter around you to combat the chill. James spotted you first, smiling widely over at you and standing up to pull you into a hug which you eagerly returned before he pulled away slightly to press his lips to yours.
The three of you were quick to settle in with food and drinks but it wasn’t long before you were heading out into the cold and finishing up some shopping. By the time you were walking through the front doors of the Potter Manor you couldn’t help but smile at the warmth, a stark contrast to the cold air outside. As you looked around the house you couldn’t help but feel at home somehow, the atmosphere unlike any other pureblood house you’d been in, this one was comforting, inviting and you found yourself at ease as you slid your scarf off, letting it rest on the bannister.
After introductions were made Mrs Potter had pulled you into the kitchen with her, hot chocolates lined up as she rested a leather bound book on the counter. You couldn’t help but smile as she opened the first page, a naked baby James Potter crawling across the page. You looked up at James, laughing as you watched his cheeks turn red. Another page showed a young James Potter looking tiny as he sat on a twin sized bed, round glasses making him look even smaller as they took up a large portion of his face.
As Mrs Potter flipped through the pages, she recalled stories from James’ youth leaving you all with big grins on your faces as you listened and laughed.
You looked over at James as his mum continued with her stories and saw him looking at you with a warm smile. You bite your lip, trying to contain your smile as you glanced down at the book again, you couldn’t help but think how much you wanted to make more of these memories with him.
-
You had been staying at the Potters for two nights now, sleeping in the spare room as Mrs Potter had instructed. That night you found yourself tossing and turning and decided to head downstairs for a drink hoping it would help.
“Hey,” You said softly, smiling as you saw James’ already in the kitchen with the refrigerator door open, lighting the room with a soft blue light.
You watched as James smiled at you as he held his arms open, you were quick to step into them, glad to finally have a moment alone with him. As much as you loved his parents and hearing their stories and as much as you liked Sirius you had to admit you missed James despite the fact he was always there.
“Hey,” He replied, just as softly. The house was huge, the two of you could have spoken normally and not woke anybody up but the atmosphere felt nice, it felt delicate and as James held you close it felt right to keep your voices low.
“You know there’s going to be dancing at this party, don’t you?” He asked, causing you to pull back far enough to look up at him with wide eyes.
“I can’t dance.” You told him.
“It’s easy,” He insisted, smile widening as you shook your head at him.
“Yeah maybe if you were taught to waltz before you could walk.” You scoffed watching as he laughed with a roll of his eyes.
“I think you’re getting me and Pads confused, baby.” He grinned before pulling you away slightly and wrapping your arms around his neck, letting his own rest around your waist as he began to sway the two of you.
“See, easy.” He said as he took one of your hands in his and spun you around, smiling as you giggled before he took the lead and began dancing with you in the kitchen, no music needed as the two of you laughed softly as you stepped on James’ feet before slowly getting the hang of it.
In that moment you felt yourself fall a little bit more in love with James Potter.
-
The day of the party was here and the Potter manor was buzzing with energy. Mrs Potter was constantly in and out of the kitchen with different platters of food as house elves helped set up the decorations.
The manor felt more like home than the day you had arrived, several large Christmas trees had been set up in different rooms, fairy lights softly lighting the room and Gryffindor house colours were used in the decorations causing you to giggle.
James had his arm around you but he was more interested in the conversation he was having with Sirius, one that you weren’t paying too much attention to. Eventually though you got bored of being ignored and stood up, rolling your eyes slightly as James didn’t even look up.
“Can I help, Mrs Potter?” You asked, looking at the flustered woman who was preparing another tray of food.
“Oh no dear, you go and enjoy yourself.” She said shaking her head
“It’s no trouble, I’d be glad to help.” You insisted, watching as she looked up at you with a warm smile.
“Alright dear, you come here,” She said and with that you quickly got the hang of her methods and were soon helping her transport all the food into the living room, James still not noticing your absence.
-
As you headed back up to your room to get ready for the party you couldn’t help but frown as you walked past the living room, watching as Sirius, Remus and James all laughed together.
You weren’t jealous of his friendship with the others, Merlin, you loved that he had such a close relationship with them but at the same time you wished he put a little more effort into your relationship as he did with them.
You really tried to ignore it most days but sometimes you just couldn’t push the nagging feeling aside that you put more effort into this relationship than he did. With a shake of your head you headed into your room and began to get ready, trying not to focus on any more negative thoughts.
It wasn’t long before the party was in full swing and you made your way downstairs alone after waiting to see if James would come to your room. There was a frown on your face but as you stepped off the last stair you forced a smile onto your face and pushed through the crowds.
James looked incredible as he was dressed in a suit, laughing with an even bigger group of friends. You made your way over to him, not letting your smile falter as he didn’t acknowledge you.
You let your hand grab his but this time you did frown as he gave it one squeeze before letting go, turning his back to you as he began to joke with a guy you hadn’t met before.
A part of you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it but another part of you hated feeling like you weren’t good enough to James, like you were always second best to him. You left the group as discreetly as you could, not that anybody noticed when you did leave, and pushed your way outside.
The back garden was huge and just as beautiful as the inside, decorated with fairy lights and decorations. Despite the many, many people who were outside it was quite easy to find an empty space to sit.
The hot chocolate clutched between your hands was the only thing keeping you warm against the winter air. The night sky was nearly black despite it still being quite early in the evening. The wind was harsh enough to blow your hair in every direction but you didn’t care as you sat looking up at the stars frowning in thought.
You hated feeling like this was the end of things between you and James but at the same time you couldn’t help but think that it was long gone already and no amount of fighting on your behalf could do anything to salvage it. You hated that this thing between you and James felt so painfully real, felt like it could be amazing, and it was now just nothing.
You hated that you felt you were asking for too much when really all you wanted was your boyfriend to notice you, to pay attention to you. As you sat alone outside, the sound of music and laughter coming from behind you, you couldn’t help but sniff as you tried to fight back the tears, not feeling fine at all.
The realisation that your relationship was done made you feel like all the magic from the world had disappeared, you felt like everything was for nothing as you sat there remembering every moment between you and James. You recalled only the other night as James and you danced together alone in the kitchen, feeling happier than ever as he spun you around in his arms, you remember as he dragged you through the castle, running from the teacher on patrol as the two of you had snuck out out of hours for a date, you remembered him teaching you how to ride on a broom which ended with the two of you on the floor with bruises but only laughter could be heard.
You remembered it all too well.
In that moment it felt like you were paralyzed, it felt like time had frozen as you tried to figure out what to do next. You didn’t want to cause a scene for the Potter’s but you also knew you couldn’t stay, not anymore.
Eventually you managed to pull yourself up and made your way through the house, avoiding anyone you might know and headed up the stairs into the guest room Mrs Potter had let you use. You were quick to pack your things away, hesitating when you came across one of James’ jumpers before shaking your head and leaving it on the bed folded neatly.
You looked around the room one last time before making your way out, heading downstairs and pausing before sneaking into the floo room where guests were still coming in from, taking one last look at James across the room. He had a wide grin on his face, laughing along with his friends and you couldn’t stop your eyes filling up with tears, the lack of you not bothering him at all.
It wasn’t long before you were home, thankfully your parents were at their own Christmas party at a relatives house, leaving you home alone.
You made your way up to your room and it wasn’t long before you collapsed onto bed and let the tears fall down, heartbreaking sobs leaving you as you cried for every moment between you and James.
You thought what the two of you had was rare, you had been there for it, remembered each moment all too well and yet here you were…alone.
You loved James Potter so much and maybe you got lost in translation, maybe you did ask for too much by wanting him to acknowledge you more or maybe he had just lost the one real thing he’d ever known and not even realised it.
-
James had tried to floo you several times and wrote to you even more. You hated that it took you leaving for him to finally notice you. You replied to one of his owls with a letter of your own telling him that you couldn’t be with him anymore, telling him that you deserved better and that you didn’t want him to contact you again.
James received the owl and only then did he realise how badly he had messed up. That night as he began packing away his things, he came across the red scarf you had left there on that very first day and if he went to sleep that night curled up around it, breathing in your scent, well nobody had to know. It was too late now, he really had messed up and no amount of reminiscing would solve it.
_________
James Potter Taglist - @haroldpotterson, @lovinnholland, @rottenstyx, @asherhunterx, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair, @mrs-scottmccall, @roseslovedreams , @j-cat
@janesofia7, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @wierdstark, @chickensrule, @rosaliedepp, @divanca2006, @silverose365, @90sbella, @tc-blossom, @transparentweaselpartyeagle, @mystic-writings, @touchdeprivedwh0re, @mrs-brekker15
@alexxavicry, @sweetdreamsjg, @alwaysclassyeagle
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More Posts from Imaginesfordifferentfandoms
Red

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Prompt - ‘Moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red.’
Notes - Smut
Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun.
You had liked Sirius for months now, it was easy to like him. He was charming, charismatic, one flash of that smile had you weak in the knees - you and every other girl at Hogwarts. Sirius wasn’t an idiot, he knew the effect he had on the girls and nobody was surprised when he had a new girl on his arm every week.
You had never been one of those girls and even though you knew it was terrible to want to be, you couldn't deny that given the chance you would be his girl of the week. This week it was a girl in your year, you didn’t particularly like her but seeing her on Sirius’ lap made you roll your eyes as you passed them, neither of them noticing you as they made out on the bench they were on.
“Party at Gryffindor tower tonight, you in?” Your friend asked you as you rounded the corner.
The thought of saying no crossed your mind, not wanting to spend the night obsessing over Sirius but something within you was nagging you to go.
“Sure.” You agreed, watching as your friend grinned at you and began talking about outfits.
You tuned her out all the way to potions and spent the rest of the lesson trying to push Sirius out of your mind.
By the time the party rolled around you were ready to cancel but somehow your friends ended up pushing you into going. As you entered the common room you couldn’t help but relax as the music and laughter washed over you.
“Let’s get a drink.” Someone from your group said and it wasn’t long before one drink turned into four and you were feeling the full effect of the alcohol coursing through your veins.
You found yourself in the middle of the common room which was being used as a dance floor, letting the music guide your movements. You weren’t sure just how much time had passed before you felt an arm slip around your waist and a warm body pressing up against your back.
“Having fun?” You recognised Sirius’ voice straight away, his tone deep and low as he pulled you further against him, dancing rhythmically against you. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin as his lips pressed against your neck in a gentle kiss.
You couldn’t help but turn your head upwards, giving him better access. You could feel him smirk against you before he obliged and began pressing kisses into your skin, you bit your lip before gasping as you felt him suck on the delicate skin. He kept sucking and let his arms that were still wrapped around your waist explore your body, one trailed upwards, brushing over your breast and the other went downwards, resting on the top of your thigh.
The feeling of him sucking on your neck was more intense than you would have ever thought, that mixed with his hands on your body had you letting out an involuntary whimper. You were more than aware that you were still in the middle of the common room but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when Sirius Black was pressed up behind you, finally noticing you.
You let out another whimper as Sirius let his teeth graze against the spot he’d been sucking before pulling away, not going far, and whispered in your ear.
“How about we head upstairs?” You couldn’t have said no even if you wanted to, something about him was addicting and now that you’d had a taste you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go.
At your nod he pressed another kiss to your neck before pulling away and guiding you up the stairs. You had no idea how the stairs let you into the boys dorm but the thought left your mind as soon as it had entered.
Once you were in the boys dorm and the door was shut, Sirius pinned you against it, wasting no time in crashing his lips against yours, the kiss was raw, it was desperate and needy. Your hands were finally tangled in his long hair as his hands gripped your face and you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.
Sirius pulled away from you, a trail of spit keeping the two of you attached to each other before his lips connected with your neck again. Your head hit the wooden door behind you as you threw it back, moaning in pleasure as he wasted no time sucking at different spots on your neck.
Your cheeks were flushed as Sirius finished up on your neck, trailing open mouthed kisses down your neck, along your collarbone before stopping at the top of your shirt. His fingers found the hem and he was quick to pull it over your head, leaving you standing in your bra.
You watched him lick his lips before he helped you take the bra off, his mouth going straight for your breast. He took one in his mouth, as his hand came up to knead the other. You moaned at the stimulation, your hands coming up to grip his hair as he showed no signs of slowing down, though you did feel him smirk against you.
When Sirius pulled away you had no time to recover as his lips found yours again. As he kissed you hard, hard enough to bruise, he pulled you away from the door and, without pulling away, blindly led you over to his bed.
It wasn’t long before you were underneath him, Sirius in between your legs as he continued to kiss you. It was rushed and animalistic and you couldn’t get enough. You pushed your hips up, letting yourself brush against his dick causing you both to moan into the kiss.
Sirius took the hint and pulled away, his hands trailing down your stomach and stopping at the top of your jeans. He made quick work of unbuttoning them and helped pull them down before throwing them off to the side of the room.
With the adrenaline and alcohol pumping through your system you had no time to feel self conscious, though you did pull his shirt off of him as you saw he was still fully clothed and you were laying there in your panties that were already beginning to get wet.
Sirius was quick to strip out of his own clothes before turning his attention back to you, pressing his lips against yours again. He let his hands trail down, brushing against your panties and smirking as he felt the wetness through them.
“Feel good, baby?” He asked, nipping at your jawline. You couldn’t reply, just let out a loud, needy moan as his fingers gently stroked you through your underwear.
Sirius wasted no time in lowering himself so his face was between your legs. He pressed a kiss against your thigh before hooking his fingers around your panties, pulling them off and tossing them out into the room.
You were a moaning mess as Sirius attached his lips to your clit, his fingers still brushing against you as he sucked and licked you. His fingers kept teasing your entrance, pushing in gently before he withdrew them causing you to let out loud groans of both pleasure and annoyance.
Without warning two fingers pushed into you causing you to arch against the bed, you felt Sirius chuckle around you causing you to moan louder as the chuckle vibrated against your clit. You were panting as he pumped his fingers inside you, his pace quickening each time. One of your hands was in his hair, fingers clutching the dark curls, holding him in place whilst the other gripped the bedsheet tightly.
“Sirius, Sirius please,” You cried out, the feeling of both his fingers and his mouth becoming too much.
Sirius pulled away and leaned up to connect his lips to yours, both of you moaning into it. The kiss was filthy, you could taste yourself on his tongue as you both messily kissed each other.
Before you could even register it Sirius was lining himself up against you and sliding in causing you to whimper in pleasure, your eyes screwing shut as Sirius sucked on your neck. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, fingernails digging into his back.
Once he was in and made sure you were ok, Sirius wasted no time. His rhythm was unrelentingly hard and fast, a fine line between pain and pleasure had you a moaning mess, Sirius’ name falling out of your mouth like a prayer as you pleaded for more.
Sirius was moaning against your neck, face buried against it as he thrusted into you. You were incoherent at this point, the only name on your lips was Sirius’ and it wasn’t long before you were pleading with him, begging him to let you come.
“That’s it baby,” He murmured against your neck, letting his teeth graze across the sensitive skin, “you feel so good, come for me, baby.” He continued, praising you as he fucked you fast and hard.
It wasn’t long before you were clenching around Sirius causing him to let out a low moan. You cried out as you orgasmed and Sirius wasn’t found behind as he came inside you with a moan of his own.
The two of you lay there for a moment, the air hot and heavy as the two of you panted for breath. Sirius was the first to move, pulling out of you carefully and picking his wand up from the nightstand. He made quick work of cleaning the two of you up and then collapsed down beside you in the bed, pulling you into his arms so your head lay on his chest.
“You okay baby?” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your hair.
You were still slightly out of it, everything about tonight felt wild and passionate and overwhelming so you just nodded against him and let your arm rest against his stomach.
Sirius smiled down at you, letting his fingers trace your skin.
“Go to sleep, Y/N.” He murmured, smile growing as you nodded sleepily against his chest.
It wasn’t long before you fell asleep in Sirius’ arms.
You were the first to wake, the curtains around the bed had been drawn and you assumed the other boys were back in the room. You didn’t want to get up yet, didn’t want to leave Sirius’ embrace, the feeling of his arms around your waist, holding you close…it was easy to pretend this was real.
You let your fingers gently trace his chest, touching him like this made you realise that this was what you wanted. You wanted Sirius Black and you didn’t know how you were going to give him up after one night with him. This one night with him was perfect, it felt like the colours in autumn, so bright, so beautiful, but you could see the end too, when the autumn leaves died and fell, that was what was destined to happen here - one incredibly great night and then whatever was between you and Sirius was supposed to shrivel up and die.
Except that’s not what happened…
That morning Sirius woke up, his arms still holding you close. He brought you in for a soft kiss and the two of you spent the morning in his bed, lazily kissing and giggling as he told you stories of pranks and mischief and you told him stories about yourself.
From there the two of you headed down to the Great Hall, Sirius’ arm thrown around your shoulders and holding you close. During the meal he kept up the conversation, not bothering with anyone else around you.
You figured that it was finally your chance to be the girl of the week, not just a one night stand but someone for Sirius to keep around before he got bored. And you shouldn’t have been ok with that, you knew you deserved more than that, but spending time with Sirius was worth it.
So when week two came and Sirius slid into the seat next to you for breakfast, wrapping his arm around you and kissing your lips, you could only look at him in confusion.
“What?” He grinned as he plucked a piece of fruit from your plate.
“What’re you doing here?” You asked him, eyebrows knitting together in your confusion.
“Ouch and here I was thinking you liked me.” He said, dramatically holding a hand to his chest causing your friends to laugh.
You didn’t respond, you didn’t know how to respond. Sirius Black had never been with the same girl for longer than a week, it was common knowledge.
So why was he back?
“What’re you doing this weekend?” He asked you as you packed up your things to head to class. His hand slipped into yours as you both headed towards the stairs.
“Nothing?” You told him, though it sounded more like a question.
“Let me take you out, we can go to Hogsmeade.” He said, smiling over at you with that charming Sirius Black smile.
How could you say no to that?
-
At the four month mark you were still confused about why Sirius was with you, down right nearly died of shock when he asked to make things official one night as he snuck the two of you to the astronomy tower, talking about the different stars and constellations.
Four months in and you had fallen hard. It wasn’t difficult considering how much you had liked him before getting together but being around him everyday, getting to kiss him whenever you wanted, knowing that he was yours…it wasn’t hard to fall in love.
You had him memorized, you knew him as well as you knew the words to your old favourite song. When you touched him, you knew he was what you wanted and somehow he wanted you too.
You hadn’t realised just how hard you had fallen for him until your first fight. It was about something ridiculous and ended with the two of you storming away from each other. It was after hours and Sirius had headed up to the dorm whereas you had snuck out and found yourself sitting at the edge of the astronomy tower, legs dangling over as you looked up at the starry night.
Sirius came to find you that night, apologising. You had brushed it off, made it seem like it was no big deal just so things could be ok again between you but deep down you knew that that wasn’t right. The fight was intense but everything about your relationship with Sirius was intense so why shouldn’t that be too.
-
You shouldn’t have been surprised.
You knew he had a reputation, knew what he was like before you had gotten together. You knew he had a different girl every week. How could you think you could change that about him?
Watching him as he pressed some Ravenclaw against the wall, kissing her like he needed it to survive…
You hated the scene in front of you but you couldn’t look away. It was only when the Ravenclaw opened her eyes, seeing you stood there, that Sirius acknowledged you. The Ravenclaw pushed him off her, a look of embarrassment taking over her face as she quickly readjusted herself and picked her bag up before hurrying past you with an apology.
You didn’t hang around to hear what Sirius had to say. You turned on your heel and followed the other girl out, ignoring the pleas from Sirius as he begged you to hear him out.
You ended up in a dusty, old classroom. It looked like it hadn’t been used in a good few years…or decades. You didn’t care though, the state of the room was the last thing on your mind as you let the door fall shut and your back slid down it until you were sat on the floor with tears falling down your face.
You knew, deep down you knew that it was for the best, knew that you and Sirius could never have worked out but that didn’t make it hurt any less. The relationship was too much, loving him was too much. It was all too much, too fast. Every moment spent together was too intense.
You didn’t know how you were supposed to move on from him though because despite how intense things were between you, you really did love him and moving on from him seemed impossible when all you could see in your head was him.
As you sat on the dusty floor with tears falling down your face, flashbacks and echoes of him invading your mind, you couldn’t help but feel all alone. You knew you’d be ok eventually but right now everything felt blue, it felt lonely and sad and you felt like a complete idiot for thinking that he could change, for thinking that you were worth enough to him to change when really all you were to him was some pretty little plaything and he had finally gotten bored of you.
You had been so focused on the good moments between you this entire relationship, the affection, the infatuation, the warmth, that you ignored the other side of the relationship - the anger, the jealousy, the miscommunication, those horrible aspects you’d blocked out hit you full force.
Merlin, you were such an idiot.
Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun but in time you knew you’d be ok.
________________________
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Everything Has Changed

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Prompt - ‘All I know is we said 'hello' and your eyes look like coming home.’
Notes - We’re celebrating Red (Taylor’s Version) here and I’ll be doing imagines for each song on the album so if you have a request (any fandom I write for) send it in!
It was September 1st, the day you had been dreaming about since finding out you were a witch. As you crossed the barrier taking you to Platform 9 3/4 you couldn’t help but take a step closer to your parents. Yes, you had wanted this day to come for so long but now that it was here it was incredibly daunting.
“You’ll be fine, Y/N.” Your parents assured you, making sure your trunk was where it needed to be. You hugged them tightly before stepping onto the train, face going pale as you saw all the other students.
You walked further onto the train, trying to find an empty compartment but it seemed like an impossible task.
“Hello,” a voice said, startling you. Was he talking to you? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Definitely talking to you then.
You turned around, coming face to face with a boy. He was taller than you and had messy jet black curls, perched on his nose was a pair of glasses and he looked at you with warm, brown eyes.
“Would you like to sit with us?” He asked, holding the compartment door open for you. The boy smiled as he watched relief fill your features, a friendly smile spreading across his face.
“If you and your friends don’t mind?” You said, gesturing to the two other boys sitting next to each other.
“Of course not, please come in.” The boy said.
“Thank you.” You replied, shuffling past them and taking a seat opposite the boy with short brown hair.
“I’m James by the way, James Potter and these are Sirius Black,” Here the boy turned his attention to you as he shot you a grin, his bright grey eyes capturing your attention. You smiled back at him, giving him a small wave which made his smile grow wider. “And this is Remus Lupin.” The other boy gave you a shy smile.
“It’s nice to meet you all, I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N. Thank you for letting me sit with you.” You said, smiling at each of them, before turning to James.
“You’re welcome. You’re not from a wizarding family, are you?” James asked, causing you to laugh softly.
“Is it that obvious?” You asked back, causing James and Sirius to chuckle.
“Kind of but it’s ok. Hogwarts is great…” James began before him and Sirius began filling you in on what you needed to know about Hogwarts and the wizarding world.
As the train got closer to Hogwarts you found yourself relaxing into your seat, laughing along with the boys. When the food trolley rolled around James and Sirius bought enough food and sweets to last at least a week or two causing you to giggle before you all tucked in.
You find yourself gravitating to James on the journey there, something about him made you feel at ease, he made you feel like you could be brave.
“You said something about the houses earlier,” you began, fiddling with a card from the chocolate frog, still amazed at the moving portrait that could leave the frame, “what house are you all hoping for?”
Sirius’ face darkened for a moment before it shifted into a smirk, “I’m hoping for Gryfindor, that’ll really please Mother.”
James laughed but you weren’t sure why but shrugged it off for now.
“Most of my family is from Gryffindor so I’m hoping for that too.” James told you as he turned to face you.
Conversation flowed easily between the four of you and you hoped that they would still talk to you when you were sorted.
As the train pulled up and first years were led away from the other students, you felt your nerves beginning to grow again. Your stomach felt sick as anxiety began to fester. James, who had made sure you didn’t get lost in the flow of students, saw you looking pale and gave you a small smile before squeezing your hand in his.
“You’ll be fine,” He assured you as the boats took you across the lake, the sight of the castle only adding to your fear. “I’ll be with you the whole time.” He promised and you forced a smile onto your face before squeezing his hand back.
“Thank you.” You managed to whisper, causing him to smile.
It wasn’t long before you were walking down the length of the Great Hall, the deafening silence did little to calm your nerves. James walked behind you, in between glances of the hall his gaze drifted back to you, him smiling sympathetically as he saw the tenseness in your shoulders.
Name after name was called, your peers each walked up to a stool. Some looked as nervous, if not more nervous than you felt, whereas some others strode up and sat confidently on the chair, waiting for the enchanted hat to be put upon their heads.
You watched as James was called up, he looked confident, not flinching as the ancient hat was put on top of his head. You stared up with wide eyes as the hat needed barely any time to decide. It shouted ‘Gryffindor’ causing James to grin. He made his way over to the table, sliding into a free space opposite Sirius.
After what felt like an eternity your name was finally called.
“Y/LN, Y/F/N.”
You didn’t move, nerves had you frozen in place and it wasn’t until you felt a hand brush against yours that you jolted. You turned to look at who touched you, seeing Remus there with a soft, encouraging smile. You forced yourself to smile back shakily before your feet began moving.
You perched yourself on the edge of the stool, eyes darting around the Great Hall before the view was obscured by the old hat.
“Hmm, interesting, very interesting,” The hat sat causing you to jump, “A good mind, resourceful, you have the ability to be fairly cunning Miss Y/L/N. But more than that is a great deal of bravery,” it said and you barely managed to suppress a snort, a great deal of bravery it had said, you weren’t feeling very brave right now. “No, no, not now but in time. You’ll be fiercely protective of those you consider family, you’ve got a good amount of courage, daring too, quite the risk taker. I know, I know,” the hat said for only you to hear before it bellowed out into the silence of the Great Hall, “better be…Gryffindor!”
Professor McGonagall lifted the hat from your head and your eyes immediately sought out the two boys you’d met on the train. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw they were clapping loudly, letting out happy cheers as you made your way over to them, taking a seat next to James.
“Told you you’d be fine.” He murmured as he grinned over at you. Despite the nerves you’d been feeling all day long, you couldn’t help but return the grin, feeling more relaxed now that you were sorted.
It wasn’t long before everyone else was sorted into their house, the boys and you all beaming at each other as Remus was placed in your house. The feast was unlike anything you’d ever seen before and now that your nerves had calmed down you were able to enjoy the magical happenings around you, from the magically appearing food to the floating candles to the ghosts that popped out of nowhere.
You ate more food than you could handle and giggled along with the boys. As the evening came to a close with the headmaster rising from his seat, you glanced at James who was already looking at you. You couldn’t help but smile softly at him and James didn’t hesitate to return it.
“First years, follow me.” The Gryffindor prefect said.
You all stood and made your way out of the Hall, your head turning in every direction. Portraits and paintings littered the walls, all of the people within them moved freely from one frame to the other. You were so captivated by them you hadn’t noticed the group turning a corner.
James glanced back and smiled over at you as he turned around and made his way over to you.
“Come along, Y/L/N.” He said, causing you to jump slightly before turning to face him. You glanced around seeing you had lost track of the prefect leading you to the common room and flushed slightly.
James just laughed and took your hand in his before leading you in the direction you were supposed to be heading.
That night as you lay in bed, feeling alone in the girls dorm, you couldn’t quite get the sight of James’ brown eyes, the messy curls and soft smile out of your head and you couldn’t wait to get to know him better.
-
“Seriously, Potter?” You yelled as you stomped down the stairs leading into the common room.
Nobody looked up at your shout, all too used to the antics from you and the boys. The four of you were closer than anything and despite being the only girl in the group that didn’t exclude you from their pranks and today was no exception.
“Hello Y/N, I must say, I love the pink hair.” James said as he looked up at you, a grin spreading across his face that he couldn’t fight back if he tried.
Watching as you glared at him only made him smile wider.
“You know I’m going to get you back for this, Potter.” You said, as you picked up a pillow on the couch and hit him with it before flopping down next to him.
“Yes, yes, I’ll be waiting anxiously for your comeback.” He laughed, causing you to hit him again before hugging the pillow to your chest and turning to face him.
“You’re such a jerk.” You told him. The smile on your face showing how much you didn’t mean the statement made him laugh again.
“Ah, good thing I’m your favourite then, isn’t it?” Here he turned his head, his cheek resting against the couch, as he looked at you with puppy dog eyes and an over exaggerated pout.
“Hmm, I suppose you are.” You replied with a roll of your eyes.
It had been four years since you’d first met James, you and him had grown closer and closer each day before you were inseparable. Since day one James had taken a shine to you, making sure you were ok, if people tried to pick on you, purebloods from Slytherin had taken a liking to you too, James was quick to put them in their place both at the age of eleven and fourteen.
“McGonagall is going to kill us when she sees this hair.” You told James.
“Us?” He shot back, raising an eyebrow at you. “You’re the only one with pink hair here, Y/N/N.” He smirked.
“Oh come on,” you groaned and when you raised the pillow again he held his hands up in surrender, “Who else is going to spike my shampoo with hair dye?”
“You made an excellent point, Y/L/N.” James laughed, reaching over to take a strand of dyed hair in between his fingers, twirling it around.
“I hate potions.” You groaned, leaning closer to James who smiled sympathetically at you. It was no secret you were hopeless with anything potions related, thankfully you were able to be paired with James who seemed to thrive in every single class. You didn’t feel bad about letting him take over the practical side of the class as you focused on note taking.
James had tried to teach you where he could but he had had one too many cauldrons blow up in his face.
“I know you do.” He said softly, moving his hand from your hair so he could wrap his arm around your shoulder. You happily shifted closer.
It wasn’t long before Sirius and Remus came down the stairs and after more laughing about your hair the four of you headed down to the dungeons for potions.
Slughorn’s voice began to grate on you. He had never been your favourite teacher but today you just were not in the mood for him. James watched you glare at him as he ran through the properties of Weedosoros and chuckled softly to himself.
“Who teaches teenagers how to brew poison?” He heard you mutter to yourself, “Great idea professor, maybe I’ll get really good at potions and have you try my Weedosoros.” Here James couldn’t help but snort, causing you to turn and face him.
“If you get good at potions, I run naked through the Great Hall.” He whispered, causing you to smirk.
“Well I wouldn’t strip out of that robe just yet.” You laughed quietly, nothing in the world could make you good at potions.
As Slughorn continued to speak James found himself growing bored too, even though he didn’t mind potions class, double potions first thing in the morning wasn’t ideal. You and him sat in the back row, closest to the door, and James looked to Slughorn, who was focused on the board, unaware of the blank stares and the one or two students who were sleeping, before looking back at you.
“C’mon.” James whispered, nudging your arm. You raised an eyebrow as he picked his bag up and gestured for you to do the same.
“Ready?” James mouthed, taking a final glance at Slughorn who had yet to turn around.
“Ready.” You replied despite not knowing what was happening. James gestured to the door and took your hand in his. Counting down from three, he pulled you from your chair and the two of you managed to escape the room, Slughorn none the wiser.
“Where are we going?” You giggled as James dragged you down the hallway, the two of you running past the shouting portraits.
“You’ll see.” James said and when the two of you finally stopped, you more so out of breath than James who played quidditch any chance he could get, you raised an eyebrow at him.
“What?” He said, “We missed breakfast.” You laughed as he tickled the pear, watching as it transformed into a green door handle.
The house elves were more than happy to have visitors, pushing more food than either of you could carry into your hands and as you bid them goodbye both your bags were considerably heavier than they had been only moments ago.
“What’s your plan now, Potter? We’ve still got an hour and a half before we’re supposed to be out of class.” James didn’t reply instead he slipped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you against him before leading the way to the entrance hall.
From there you were taken down to the Great Lake. James sat down on the grass before pulling at your hand and gesturing for you to sit too. The lake looked beautiful, it stretched as far as your eyes could see, hills and mountains on either side.
James and you sat together in a comfortable silence, food spread out between the two of you. The sound of waves crashing together in the distance could be heard, the air was slightly chilly but bearable.
It didn’t take either of you long to finish eating, plenty of food left over thanks to the generosity of the house elves. James shifted so his legs were spread out in front of him and he rummaged through his bag, pulling out a yellowing book, the spine was cracked and the cover was worn.
You moved to lay down, resting your head on his lap as he opened the book, you heard the sound of pages being flipped as you looked up at the sky, squinting up at the clouds drifting pass.
You let your eyes fall closed as the sound of James’ voice filled the silence, his tone soft and low and you couldn’t help but smile as you listened to him. As he got further into the book you let your eyes open slowly, lazily gazing up at the sky before turning to face James.
There was something about the peacefulness of the lake, the soft and quiet sounds of waves crashing, birds chirping, creatures rustling leaves in the woods and the soothing voice of James that made you feel inexplicably happy. Out here, just you and James, it was…easy. The two of you were yourselves out here.
You shook your head, wondering where on earth that thought had come from. You looked away from James before he could catch you staring and instead focused on the sound of his voice.
-
One day it was like something clicked into place for you. That morning you had woken up, it was Valentine’s Day so the entire castle had been decked in pink for the week and your little group had been surrounded by girls desperately trying to get the boys attention.
You’d lost track of how many times they had been asked out but each time a girl approached James you felt something twist inside you. You couldn’t explain why these girls asking James out had bothered you so much, you were in your sixth year of Hogwarts and James was an attractive man, it wasn’t like James had never been asked out before.
So why did it bother you now?
The question had plagued you for weeks and this morning when you woke up, the first thing on your mind was those warm brown eyes, those mess of curls and a soft smile that made you feel safe. That’s when it hit you.
You liked James Potter.
You liked James Potter a whole lot, despite already being attached at the hip you wanted to spend all your time with him, despite knowing so much about him you wanted to get to know him even better, despite the fact that he was your best friend you wanted him to be more.
As you lay in bed that morning, refusing to get out of bed, never being more thankful that it was a weekend, you thought back to when you had met James. Since that moment he said hello to you and held the door of the compartment open for you, you realise now, looking back that’s when everything started. James had smiled at you and you’d never left his side since.
You realised that as you looked into his eyes, nowhere else felt more like home. When you saw him smile, you couldn’t help but mirror it back no matter how bad you were feeling. When things got too much for either of you and you snuck down to the lake, staying there until everything was better.
You liked James Potter.
Just thinking about it made your stomach fill with butterflies. It was the beautiful kind of butterflies, the ones that had you blushing just thinking about him. The kind that made you want to find James and confess everything, the kind that made you feel how James made you feel…giddy.
You liked James Potter.
It was like that thought had changed everything.
When you finally pulled yourself out of bed and headed down the stairs you were greeted to James’ smirk.
“What time do you call this?” He laughed, gesturing to the seat next to him.
Everything felt different, you hardly knew how to act around James now.
You laughed, though it was slightly forced, and took the seat next to him on the couch. His eyebrows knitted together at the distance you’d put between the two of you but he quickly solved it by pulling you against him, his arm wrapping around your shoulder.
Conversation quickly turned back to whatever they’d been talking about before you showed up but you were more content to lay against James, his fingers tracing random patterns on your arm causing you to smile softly.
“You ok?” He whispered into your ear when Sirius and Remus were more focused on their conversation.
You hesitated for a moment, shifting so you could lean up and look at him. He was beautiful, the fire reflected in his brown eyes, giving them a red tinge and you thought that you could get lost in them given the chance.
You shook your head slightly in an attempt to clear your thoughts before you smiled up at James.
“I’m good.” You told him, the look he gave you showed he wasn’t convinced but he let it go.
“What are your plans, Y/N?” Sirius asked, causing you to look away from James.
“Plans?” You asked in confusion, watching as Sirius laughed whilst rolling his eyes.
“Keep up, Y/L/N.” He groaned, making you laugh. You missed the look James was giving you as he watched you laugh against him but Sirius and Remus caught it and shared a look between themselves. “Plans for Valentine’s Day.”
“You asking me out, Black?” You smirked.
“I’m afraid our love shall have to wait another day,” Sirius told you dramatically, “for I have a date with the beautiful Amelia.”
“Good luck with that,” You said, honestly surprised that Amelia had agreed to a date. “As for me, I shall be here, awaiting your return.” You said, causing them to laugh.
“Come on, you have to have a date!” Sirius exclaimed, frowning as you shook your head.
“I was asked but…” Here you trailed off, not knowing how to end the sentence. At first you hadn’t had a reason for rejecting the offers you had received, most of them were fairly decent looking guys but you hadn’t felt anything more than annoyance as they asked you.
Now though, after this morning's revelations you knew exactly why you had turned them down because despite how good looking they were…they weren’t James Potter.
“I’ll keep you company.” James said, causing you to look up at him again.
“You don’t have a date?” You asked, watching as he shook his head. “Well if the captain of the quidditch team can’t get a date, is there hope for the rest of us?” You groaned, watching as James laughed.
“I’d rather hang out with you than with anyone that asked me out.” And that was a statement, wasn’t it? You had seen some of the girls asking James out, they were stunningly beautiful and probably wouldn’t make a cauldron explode in his face and yet here he was saying he’d rather have your company.
What were you supposed to think about that?
“I’d rather hang out with you too.” You told him quietly, it was the closest you were going to get to confessing your feelings but for now it would have to be enough.
“Where are we going?” You asked later on that evening. Most students were in Hogsmeade on dates and you were ready to spend a night with James in the common room when he had entered, raising an eyebrow at your comfy attire before telling you to change.
“You’ll see.” He said and it wasn’t long before he was pulling you along down the old, familiar trail that led to your spot by the late.
As you rounded the corner to your spot you stopped in your tracks, letting out a gasp as you took in the scene. Small tea candles floated in the air, giving the darkness of the night a soft, orange glow. A blanket had been laid down on the grass, slightly larger candles rested upon it, adding to the atmosphere. There was a basket and two glasses placed on the blanket too.
You turned to look at James who looked nervously at you. You were left speechless and he couldn’t tell if it was a good sign or not but when your lips stretched into a grin, he let out the breath he had been holding and grinned back at you.
“What is all this?” You asked softly, the warm glow of candles made you want to maintain the peaceful atmosphere created.
James shifted before clearing his throat. He looked down at his feet before looking you in the eyes.
“I like you, Y/N.” He confessed and felt a huge weight fall from his shoulders, no matter how this went, at least you’d know how he felt. “I really like you and I hate that it took me this long to realise it. I should have realised it all those years ago, Merlin’s beard, Y/N/N, I should have realised it the moment we said hello. When I held that door open for you I should have known then that one day you could be mine and I would be yours, no matter how you felt. All I’ve been able to think about for weeks, months, is you. You’re beautiful Y/E/C eyes, that smile that has never once not made me smile back. Merlin, please tell me there’s something here and that this isn’t all just in my mind.” James said, rushing through his speech like he’d been rehearsing it for a while.
You were beaming at him by the time he had finished, cheeks flushed red and not because of the cold. God, how foolish you both were.
“I like you too, James. When I realised I liked you I was terrified because I thought everything would change for the worse and I didn’t even let myself consider the possibility that you would like me back, that everything had changed for good.” You told him, watching as he gave you the softest smile you’d ever seen on his face.
“I like you so much, Y/N, and I want to make up for all that time we lost being idiots who didn’t realise. I already know plenty about you but I want to know everything about you.” James said as he stepped forward, he reached up cupping your cheek in his hands and despite the cold air, your cheek were warm to touch, making him smile wider.
He gave you time to pull away but you didn’t move, not until his lips were against you. You kissed him back, the kiss started off soft and slow but all the time you’d spent not admitting your feelings had built up causing the kiss to turn. It was hot and messy and the two of you only pulled away when a sudden coldness washed over you.
The pair of you looked up, laughing at the rain that came from nowhere. It was the kind of rain that meant you were drenched through in a matter of seconds, hair and clothes sticking uncomfortably to you pretty quickly.
But that didn’t matter as you and James laughed before he pulled you in for another kiss, this time his arms snaked around your waist and you rested yours around his neck, fingers coming up to play with wet hair.
The two of you stayed outside for way longer than you should have but when you finally pulled away James rested his forehead against yours.
“Sorry we didn’t get to eat.” He said, watching as you glanced over at the soaking wet blanket and the basket.
“That’s ok,” you giggled before brushing your lips against him, “we’re going to be so sick tomorrow.”
“We should head back.” James smiled, entwining his fingers with yours.
You glanced down at your joined hands before looking up at James who, despite being drenched through, looked incredibly handsome and he was looking at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world despite the fact that you had mascara running down your cheeks and you were equally as wet.
Everything has changed, you thought to yourself, and the next day as you and James cuddled together on the couch both suffering from a cold, you couldn’t help but smile because everything has changed but it was the best type of change.
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- Why Can't This Be Real? (Part One)
- I'm So Glad This is Real (Part Two)
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I Almost Do

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Prompt - ‘I can't say hello to you and risk another goodbye.’
It had been an exhaustingly long case, both you and Derek being forced to act like nothing was wrong between you when in reality being around the man made you want to cry.
Things had been great between you, together for over a year, moved in with one another, things had been great. You couldn’t even pinpoint when things had started going bad, you just remembered that the two of you were arguing more, you remembered that in the last few months you’d spent more time in the guest bedroom than you did in your own.
The tension between the two of you eventually seeped into your work life and Hotch had taken to keeping the two of you as far away from each other as he could whereas he usually paired you with each other for most assignments, knowing how well the two of you worked together.
Derek was the one to finally put an end to the relationship after months of fighting, months of faking smiles and telling everyone things were fine, everyone had rough patches, after months of sleeping alone and days without talking to one another.
“We can’t do this anymore Y/N,” He had snapped one day, the two of you were arguing in the kitchen. Hateful words thrown at each other in the heat of the moment. Derek sighed before softening his voice and repeating, “We can’t do this anymore.”
You blinked against the tears, you knew he was right but it didn’t mean you wanted it to end. All you wanted was for the fighting to stop, you didn’t even know what you were fighting over anymore. You’d never fallen out of love with Derek, you still loved him more than anything but ultimately you knew he was right.
“I know,” You replied, voice just as soft as his.
You watched his face fall, your expression mirroring his as you both came to terms with the fact your relationship was just over.
Derek took a step closer to you, lifting his hand to cup your face, giving you plenty of time to pull away before he dipped his head down and let his mouth connect with yours.
It was then you let the tears fall, the saltiness could be tasted on both your lips as he kissed you softly, trying not to let his own tears fall.
When he pulled away he rested his forehead on yours, looking at your face he couldn’t help but let a single tear fall as he brushed yours away.
“I love you baby.” He whispered, causing you to scrunch your nose up as you tried desperately to stop more tears from coming.
“I love you too,” You told him, nodding slightly as you did.
From then on everything became tense. You and Derek didn’t know how to act around each other. Hotch continued to keep you separate and the two of you avoided each other as best you could and you did quite a good job considering the close quarters you worked in.
Emily hadn’t hesitated to offer you her spare bedroom as you looked for your own apartment and she watched as you fell apart after rough cases, the only thing that could help was the one person you couldn’t have.
Sometimes Derek reached out, a phone call or a text, but you never replied. As much as you loved him, and you did love him more than words could say, you couldn’t say hello to him again and risk another goodbye. You knew he probably hadn’t even considered that but the first breakup was so painful, you couldn’t go through it again.
Tonight though it took everything in you not to call him. Tonight you just wanted to be with him, his arms secure around your waist, holding you tightly, his touch grounding you. You wanted him to kiss your forehead and whisper sweet nothings that always made you feel better.
But you didn’t call or text him. You didn’t get in your car and drive to the place you once called home. There were so many times where you had nearly given in, nearly gone to him, almost done it, but you resisted.
The thought of having him back just to lose him again was far too painful.
You knew in some ways that it was probably for the best the two of you had parted ways before you ruined everything with each other forever. At least calling it quits when you did meant there may have been a possibility, somewhere down the line, there was a chance you could reconnect, be friends again, be in the same room without any tension.
It had been an exhaustingly long case, both you and Derek being forced to act like nothing was wrong between you when in reality being around the man made you want to cry. You bet at this time of night that Derek was still up, just as tired as you after a long, hard week. You bet he was sitting in that chair by the window, looking out at the view, in the seat that you had both once occupied, you in his lap with his arms holding you securely.
You hoped he was thinking about you as much as you were thinking about him, you hoped he missed you as much as you missed him. You hoped one day that the two of you would be ready to find each other again and this time not let each other go.
______________
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- I Thought I’d Lost You