Manic - Tumblr Posts
Me to me when I quit my medications to trigger (hypo)mania, but get depression instead
ppllleeasssee pay attention to me give me notesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Manic fixation of the day: punching everything
Being bipolar be like *triggers manic episode* *accused of faking* *surfeit of withdrawal symptoms when skipping meds* *feeling humiliated in the aftermath of all the stupid shit you’ve done in public* *sleeping for 15+ hours straight when depressed* *threats from everyone to be hospitalized*
Wow being manic during quarantine is sure something else
*manic episode* yep this is what caffeine does to a mf
Any tumblr posts about depression or something sad are a fucking joke to me when I’m manic. It makes me feel like an asshole but I mean no offense in that thought, I just don’t have the time to mope, I have to get things done
I don’t know if this is Bipolar Culture or not, but I hate when I get so hyper and have the instinct of calling it mania or the start of an episode, and then see it was just false alarm. A manic scare™
I am so manic that I can’t even make it relatable
An episode of mania almost always always always starts out so euphorically, makes you feel like you’re on the perfect drug, makes your confidence and motivation sky rocket and has you romanticizing all the fun it baits you with. It feels so amazing, you feel like nothing can hurt you or get to you.
Then the irritability comes, genuine rage, such an uncomfortable and overwhelming increase in libido, dangerous impulses, social behavior to be humiliated from by the time you crash, severe sleep deprivation that disorients the fuck out of you the longer you go without it, without even feeling tired at all. But feeling completely out of control. And if it escalates, Lord help you. Hallucinations, bad paranoia, black outs, substance abuse (or relapse if you happen to be recovering), delusions, everything that could get you into a psych ward. It isn’t fun at the end and any pleasure you feel is completely illusionary.
The worst part is I still normally never want it to stop. Because the depression after, which gets so ugly and terrible the longer, more intense the mania is, is something I’m not looking forward to at all. That, and mania can really sometimes convince you that you love it. I’m not wanting to go there though, because I have a lot to lose. Even if I don’t lose anything, I’m tired of this cycle and just can’t afford to desire it anymore. So I’m managing where I can, but wow it’s just scary to watch it take you higher and higher into it, and further and further away from yourself.
This is precisely why I despise any sort of stigma toward bipolar disorder. It’s so misunderstood, misquoted, and mistreated. I just really want and need some help. My hands are so sweaty and shaky, my heart and my mind are racing, I can’t stop talking, I can’t eat. I can’t focus, I can only fixate. And it’s just so overwhelming already.
Ain’t nothing like avoiding your therapy sessions so your therapist doesn’t discover you’re manic or off meds again, avoiding their disappointment, avoiding the immediate hospitalization you know would come from that
Some human versions of my all time favorite otp 👌🏻👌🏻
😭
Poshe🖤
stole these from @sh4thesh33p as well
When the manic episode wears off and you have the sudden urge to completely disappear and be forgotten so you could have a fresh start somewhere else where no one knows you is something I feel like I’ll never escape.
hi my name is ashley, nice to meet you
halsey’s paintings/doodles pt.2
I'm having a really hard time just existing right now.
My body is in so much pain. My mind is in so much pain.
I'm trying not to spiral but it's so friggin hard.
I'm deteriorating. The very few people close to me, are deteriorating. It feels like everything is just kind of falling apart.
I know I shouldn't isolate. I know I just need to get through the day and get some sleep tonight. (I was awake all night, yay insomnia)
I'm so tired of my body hurting. I'm so tired of my heart/mind hurting. (Depression and so on creeping back into its stronghold again since I had to go off the new meds I had tried and reacted horribly to a diff one not the recently complained about one)
Feeling very doom and gloom about existence.
Meh.
