Love All Of This - Tumblr Posts
the following sleep deprived rambles have every chance of being a total doozy. you have been warned.
okok SO. I just finished listening to the podcast Camlann and I have THOUGHTS bc I always have THOUGHTS when I consume Arthurian retellings and/or adaptations. it's such a unique approach to things so I honestly wasn't expecting the characters to carry on the characterization core through-line that most thoughtful retellings do. I'm in the process of identifying each of the core traits for various characters but those are my academia rambles not my chaotic Tumblr ones lol.
but anyway bc of Camlann's core concept about names drawing them into the associated stories after the cataclysm (I think it was called that. idk started w cat. big bad no bueno thing!!) I assumed pretty early on that this would be more along the lines of this cast, these individuals, resisting and defining themselves as Not Like Them. for an overly simplistic example, if Gwen was adamantly like "no!! I'm nothing like Guinevere!! I'm not a cheater!!" and the whole arc was around her proving that. which is actually a not uncommon (and often well done, despite my tone) approach to Arthurian type stories, namely the reincarnation return type ones. but in that case, the Arthurian characters remain... distant. legendary. a worldbuilding backdrop that don't function with the agency of true characters in the narrative. a shadow cast by the true main characters bc all that matters is being different from them. Arthurian characters are deeply flawed, it's a tragedy in many ways, and so people gravitate to "but I would be better than them!!" and it can be a good story but it doesn't really encapsulate the beauty of the flawed that I personally love about arthuriana.
now, despite that ramble, that is NOT what Camlann did, despite what I expected! that would be the easy way out! instead I was emotional over Gawain bc, since he's the Arthurian character I've researched the most, I'm keenly aware of the character's core characteristics that transcend retellings. and Gawain was still so Gawain. impulsive, held up as the flawed one in the cast, but ultimately so full of love and loyalty and agjsjfjsb he's my baby boy in academia. the Merlin character keeping secrets and pulling the strings for a convoluted mixture of protection for loved ones and protection for himself? checks out. Guinevere fervently wishing she didn't have to behave queenly and could just be wild and powerful in her own right?? YES. I had thoughts on the others too but! sleep deprivation brain go soupy!!
anyway, all this fascination w core traits, but I ultimately would like to dive into arthur. he's at the center of the narrative in so many ways. there's so much more to analyze for him tho! anyway I'm especially intrigued by Arthur's ability to be both hero and villain depending on the narrative while still being so distinctly ARTHUR, not just *insert king character here*. he's the archetypal hero, and I do like that myself, but that's why good villainous arthurs are so fascinating to me. think King Arthur from Legendborn and Bloodmarked by Tracy Deonn. that series is what got me thinking about what could be his universal trait. and even after just a bit of Camlann's Arthur, I really do think it's innately tied to the portrayal of Camelot in the narrative. and Arthur is always trying to defend it. if it's BBC Merlin's Camelot, it's flawed but ultimately good and worth trying to save. its Arthur reflects that. if it's legendborn's Camelot where it is an exclusionary system representative of societal oppression and control, its Arthur reflects that. and in Camlann? Camelot is a bunch of dudes using the power of their names to live out a game of thrones aesthetic, and is functionally a power fantasy constructed to make people feel falsely safe in a dire circumstance. so, Camlann Arthur is fundamentally someone who will go to the ends of the earth to defend his Camelot.
but idk I need more content to know for suresies so anyway pls go listen to it bc I rlly want a season 2.
anyway good night.
redid the new archetype idea I had for raz since his old one really needed a redo
What if they were more chill….
Things I need in season two
- What they did in the following weeks after deciding to stay together
- Charles learning how to be a ghost
- Edwin learning what the world was like at that time
- How long Edwin had been alone after escaping hell and before meeting Charles
- Did Edwin also have to learn ghost rules after hell? Hell being a different plane so was he a soul in hell and ghost on earth? (I don’t know about the sandman universe so this may have already been addressed. Let me know if you know)
- Their first case!
- Deciding to start the detective agency
- Brainstorming names before settling on the dead boy detectives
- Looking for an office as if they were a couple searching for their forever home!
- Decorating the office! It being sparse to begin with and then filling up over the years after each case. (Great kind of montage moment)
- Flashbacks to the cases that were mentioned in season 1 ie, great puppy debacle of 94
I had so much fun drawing @hannaloony‘s amazing modern day designs for Charles and Edwin 😭🙏💖
+ Charles knife eyeliner meme
you're just stuck with a snake boy 💛🐍
They finally need to let us marry the whole fucking gorgeous family!
こっちに上げ忘れてたーん アナザーコードっていう謎解きゲームです！ DSとかWiiの特性を活用したところがおもしろ難しかったです
Been pondering things about Android Therion- specifically how his and Alfyn's relationship develops. I feel like up until now Therion hasn't really been in a place to even consider thoughts of romance (or proper friendship, for that matter- so he's been dealing with that too with the entire group).
MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL
The concept is COMPLETELY foreign to Android!Therion, absolutely. All his life he's been a tool. Maybe there were a few sympathetic scientists, but like. That's not exactly friendship, is it? Maybe he thinks he knows what it is, just for a bit. Maybe he thinks whatever he has with Darius is friendship. Maybe something more. He doesn't know. The only way he really learns about what love is supposed to be is through media, and media doesn't really explore romance from an android's viewpoint. He doesn't have a heart that can pound, he doesn't have sweat to make his hands clammy, he doesn't have blood that can make his cheeks flush. So, like, Darius keeps calling him 'partner', and there's a lot of times he's genuinely happy being with him, and they do things that feel good (something something equipped with Certain Parts to aid in deception and coercion, maybe, idk), even if he doesn't always want to be doing them. so like. Is this romance? Darius won't give a straight answer. Not that it matters when he rips open his maintenance panel, forces emergency shutdown, and shoves him off a cliff.
So naturally he's less than trusting when the next person he meets is Alfyn, who he first sees messing with a bunch of his components removed on a table. Bad first impression, would've given him a heart attack if he had one (he doesn't, he has a soulstone battery), the only reason he can't run away is because the motor components below his neck have been disabled for repair. And this engineer is like, weirdly understanding of how upset he is, offers to get him anything he wants, needs, catch him up to speed with however long he's been out. Therion could ask this dude to shoot himself to prove that he's trustworthy and he would've done it. Weird dude. But, like, he seems harmless enough. He doesn't really know what he wants to do. He didn't have time to process Darius's betrayal, being essentially dead for however many years. And what's with this Alfyn guy?? Why does he keep insisting that he stay with him and then saying he doesn't want anything in return?? That's not how that's supposed to work???
Anyway. I think most of Therion's character arc in this story is navigating his upbringing and trauma and expectations around how relationships (of any sort) are supposed to work. What true unconditional love and care looks like, what a healthy give and take is supposed to be, identifying certain things within himself (maybe one of the other travelers is also an android? or a major npc more likely). It's a weird, difficult road but it's one he's better for at the end, being able to say that he has friends, has real connections and isn't just a tool. He's a person. Not a flesh-and-blood person, but still just as human as any of his friends.
as for the ROMANCE which is what you sent the ask in the first place about LMAO. I think it's a matter of 'therion fell first, alfyn fell harder', Alf is still a hopeless romantic but GODS therion is pretty and cool and interesting and he just canNOT stop thinking about him. he's smitten. alfyn is the type who falls super hard and its still a slower build than past crushes but he's very much pining. Therion unfortunately has zero benchmark to compare his feelings to. Alfyn got him out of danger and away from the Ravus agents and told him in no uncertain terms that he's never ever gonna leave him behind, that he'll always be there for him, and that made him. feel things. he is not sure what those things are. He hangs on to them for a good long time before he finally manages to put two and two together but even then, because he has no point of comparison for what AI love feels like, he's not sure. He likes the guy, he's attractive, knowledgeable, kind, fun, but like. he does not have the words. And even if he did he has no idea what he'd do about them, his only prior experience with anything even remotely like this being...Darius. And he does not want that again. Primrose is trying her best to help him navigate this but there's only so much she can do.
Maybe at some point it actually. fucking DOES click. And it's a whole mess, way messier than anything in canon. Avoidance, anger (at himself, at alfyn, at primrose, at everyone), learning that they installed tear ducts in his face. Of course they did. Why wouldn't they. Anything to make his little performances more convincing, this tool, this machine that isn't supposed to emote except when ordered to, this hunk of metal that doesn't have real feelings, only simulacra, only cheap imitations of humanity, only shallow copies made to fool flesh and blood into thinking he's one of their own. The reckoning- the confession is loud, and messy. It's an argument, they're yelling at each other, Therion is screaming, his tear ducts start acting up, he is so- fuck, he's so- GODS, he can't love Alfyn. He CAN'T. He's a machine. He's not capable of giving him everything that a human can. He's a machine with masters who are trying to retrieve him. He puts everyone even tangentially related to him in danger. His emotions aren't real, and nothing he could ever give Alfyn would be worth the pain of knowing that his emotions are just lines of code, that just being associated with him puts a target on his head, that all he's made for is theft and deception and murder.
And by some divine fucking miracle.
Alfyn does not care.
He doesn't care! He doesn't care that Therion can't feel 'real' feelings, whatever a 'real' feeling even is, he doesn't care that just continuing to be there is a massive risk, he doesn't even care that at any time Therion could flex an artificial muscle and inject him with an untraceable poison.
It's...he doesn't know what this is. Relief, happiness, frustration, whatever. He'll take it, as long as Alfyn is willing to give it.
After all, if Therion is capable of nothing else, he's capable of taking.
KINNPORSCHE THE SERIES (2022) + textposts — 2/?
cozy snoozin'
complimentary fluff ficlet to be read here, or in the snippet below:
To be honest, place was a total fucking dump.
But, the summer days stretched long with swimming and fishing and games and just hanging out by the lake, and the evenings lasted well past midnight, warm and abuzz with cicadas looking for a tryst, not too humid either (Eddie’s hair was a clear tell), so it didn’t really matter that the cabin they rented was a dump. For two nights, it would do. For stumbling into bed after a goodnight joint, it was enough.
The inside was clad in wood, with dusty sconces on the wall that barely dispersed the darkness, but eh, the dark had its mercies, hid all the little imperfections, cast shadows over eyes that shone a bit too bright after a kiss. But even under that warm gluey light the sunburn stood out, new redness sheathed over the skin; not Steve though, with his good genes he tanned easily, plus sulking by the pool always gave him a headstart.
Most of Eddie’s sunburn was hidden under that dumb lavender t-shirt Steve got at the Indiana State Fair with Robin, after she insisted they’d get identical shirts, let’s be twins, Steve!, choosing about the ugliest design he’s ever seen. Of course, the ugliness delighted Eddie, so much that he stole the t-shirt from him earlier today, acting like a fucking girlfriend or something, rolling his eyes over a lit joint: you weren’t wearing it, Steve, and as enticing as it might be, I can’t be sitting around tits out in nature, mosquitoes would absolutely eat me whole.
Then he leaned in, adding in a terrible Scottish accent: leavin’ eatin’ me whole to ye, laddie.
rest on ao3 :D