Itachi Headcanons - Tumblr Posts

Akatsuki Members Handwriting HC's:

I haven't slept properly for days and it's really showing. Ever wondered what the Akatsuki member's handwriting is like? Probably not but here I am thinking about it for you because I'm so nice.

Perfect. Do I really need to say more? His handwriting is absolutely stunning, it looks like professional calligraphy. Perfectly sized. Doesn't do any harsh lines and it's very soft and curly. All his letters are joined. He absolutely does his 7's with the line in the middle and his lower case a's have the curly bit on top. He has never and will never use an exclamation mark. They're too confrontational. 10/10

Very big. Like, way too big. Leaves large spaces between each letter. Itachi also scolds him because he wastes so much paper. He still uses his finger to measure out finger spaces so they are also big because man has chunky fingers. Unlike Itachi's his is very angular and all his letters are sharp. You can tell he presses too hard on the paper because he rips it occasionally. Because it's so big it's very easy to read though. 8/10

Man has the most boring and generic handwriting ever I'm sorry. Basically looks the exact same as Helvetica font. (standard keyboard font) His handwriting is the most legible out of everyone else's though, there's just not much you can really say about it. 5/10

Fairly neat, tries to imitate Itachi's style so quite curly and soft but not nearly as pretty. He also joins all of his letters up. Never writes in black ink, everything has to be coloured/highlighted. Takes forever to write anything because he has to make it look super pretty. Always draws little doodles and diagrams alongside everything he writes. Shopping list? Yes but also he has drawn every single item. Unlike Itachi he only uses exclamation marks, sees them as explosions on paper. 9/10

Only writes in capital letters. Cannot write in a straight line either, even when it's on lined paper. Doesn't know what punctuation is either, he couldn't tell you what a question mark looks like. Quite similar to a young child's handwriting. His spacing is also super inconsistent. Instead of words it just looks like he's written lots of letters randomly. 3/10

Has Doctor handwriting. Physically impossible to read anything this man writes, despite this he still blames everyone else for being unable to read it. For real though, there aren't even legible letters his writing is literally just squiggly lines which he claims are letters. 0/10

His writing is slanted so it always looks like its written in italics. It's definitely on the smaller side and he never joins up his letters. If he writes on lined paper he definitely has the lines going through the middle of his letters. Similar to Sasori I don't think there's anything especially notable about the way he writes, it's just very pleasant to look at. 4/10

Is left handed so everything she writes is smudged, much to her annoyance. Her handwriting is definitely tiny because she's so used to writing notes on small pieces of paper. Is a mix of both joined and un-joined letters. Only ever writes in shorthand, everything she writes is basically like trying to decipher a code. She never dots her i's and consistently forgets to put crosses on her t's and f's. 3/10

Honestly an absolute mess to read. I imagine both White and Black Zetsu bicker about how to write and so everything he writes ends up as two completely different styles.

White Zetsu can't write. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules. He draws pictures instead. He lacks any artistic talent so its impossible to tell what they are. Kisame definitely plays games with him where he tries to guess what the pictures are.

Black Zetsu's handwriting is tall and skinny. All of his letters are just really long and stretched out for no reason. Similar to Kisame he definitely presses down too hard on the paper, although this is just because he's an angry lad. Basically anything written by this lad is just pictures interspersed with loooong letters. 1/10

Writes like a very young child. He can't spell either. Like White Zetsu and Deidara he also likes drawing pictures, although his pictures never relate to what he's actually trying to write. Gets distracted easily and so most of his letters end up being half finished, like bro will be writing the letter t and forget to do the cross, or he'll do a 'w' but only do half of it because he gets bored and wants to move on to the next letter. 10/10

𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘥;; 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦

[ 🌸 ] uchiha version

characters: itachi uchiha; obito uchiha; madara uchiha; sasuke uchiha; shisui uchiha

genre: fluff

warnings: none, fem!reader, umm mentions of the word v*gina i guess?, also mentions of menstrual pads annnd colics

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itachi uchiha

* oh boy

* itachi is a genius

*He really is

* But being a genius doesn't mean he knows what he should do with you sometimes

* Especially these days

*Fortunately, Itachi had the fortune to work with women in the past when he was in ANBU so you could say he has experience

* Are you experiencing mood swings because you don't like something? Itachi will take care of it right now, don't worry. Are you cold? “Come here my dear, I'll keep you warm until you feel better”

* He is a good cook, so he will make you something delicious for you to eat

* "Love? This is good?". "Yes, but... isn't that a lot of food?" "Not at all my love, I want you to feel good"

* Sometimes you think that he just wants to fatten you up with the large amount of food that he prepares for you

* Did you say chocolates? Do you want chocolates? Then just tell him the Brand and the flavor you want or any type of sweet you want

* Do you want ice cream?, Right now you gonna have it (it brings you ten different boats of ice cream in case you want a different flavor every day that you are in your days)

* Oh no, did the compress get cold? And the pain doesn't go away? Don't worry, he'll take care of it

"Hmm?, what are you doing Itachi?"

"Heh, don't worry love, it's just a little jutsu" said your beloved boyfriend as he put his big hand on your aching belly

"But what is it...? oh-", Just at that moment Itachi's hand began to heat up, apparently the compress would no longer be necessary ;)

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obito uchiha

*huh?

* Day of the month?

* Is today??

* Poor of you ;(

* No, but seriously, sweet boy who doesn't like to see his princess suffer ❤️

* "Hey love, I'm at the store to buy your menstrual pads, but what is the size of your vagina?"

* Innocent boy, please guide him

*He wants to help, but he doesn't know what to do

* "Does your belly hurt? What can I do?", “Can I hug you?”, “Are you sure I won't hurt you if I hug you?”

* Do you suffer from mood swings? Don't know what to do?, Don't worry!... he doesn't know what to do either :D

* Fortunately, this only happened the first time you had your period together.

* "Honey, I brought you chocolates and compresses.". “Thank you Obito”

* The boy does his best to take care of you and although he may not have known what to do the first time, he learns quickly.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you!"

"... you are too good, what did I do to deserve you?"

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madara uchiha

* “So… blood is coming out of your vagina. How it feels?”

* Another guy who doesn't know what to do with you

* Being raised in a clan where only strength and power mattered, and being raised in times of war... it's not like he had time to learn anything about this.

* Fortunately, he is willing to learn how to take care of you and treat you at this time of the month

* Do you want chocolate? You got it, do you want soft blankets? Right away

* He is giving orders to the servants from left to right to treat you like a queen

* He is hardly at home, unfortunately. Well, being the leader of the clan is not an easy task and unfortunately that keeps him away from you, but that's not why he's going to neglect you.

* He was very graphic about what he would do to himself if he neglected you or worse if someone did something to you

* "I'll beat myself up if you're not okay at the end of the day because of me." "Madara, darling... that's very cruel"

* He will make sure you are well and you assure him that it was more than enough ❤️

"Are you sure that blanket is okay?"

"Yes, Madara they are comfortable"

“Are you Sure? because I can tell the servants to bring you softer ones…”

"Madara just hug me"

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sasuke uchiha

*Knows something from the talk about the male and female body due to the academy, but still...

* "My belly hurts a lot..."

* -Sasuke having a mental breakdown internally- "what am I supposed to do?"

* You are patient? God bless you because he needs you to guide him

* the poor man is confused, why are there so many menstrual pads for different occasions? And why do you use tampons?

* "Sasuke, can you buy me tampons?". “Wouldn't that be rape? Why not a night pad instead? They are more comfortable and extra large”. “…”

* Yes, no… he's not the best at this, bUT he's doing his best

* The last thing he wants is for you to feel uncomfortable

* After a full 3 hour explanation of tampons and your needs, he already knows what to do

* Oh, do you want a compress? Sure, just don't move, he doesn't want colic to attack you.

* Do you feel dirty?, he will accompany you to bathe

* Sasuke is a good boyfriend, he will take care of you and protect you, but he is still secretly afraid of tampons, he is afraid that tampons will hurt you.

"Sasuke, we've already talked about this..."

"I know."

"Tampons won't hurt me."

"I trust you, but still... I don't like the idea." calm your man's fears, please 😂

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shisui uchiha

* funny boy

* It will actually keep you happy during the day

* Had a bad time and now you're grumpy? Don't worry, he will tell you as many jokes as necessary along with lots of pampering

* “Do you feel bad, beloved? Where it hurts?"

* He buys you a lot of ice cream for you to eat

* Oh, do you want to watch your favorite movie? Now? No problem, you find the movie and Shisui will find the blankets and food

* He has some experience due to the fact that like Itachi he has had female teammates

* But that doesn't mean that he understands what your body is going through

* Even so he will do his best to treat you well

“Y/NNNN!, I brought ice cream”

"Oh my- Shisui thank you, can we watch my favorite movie again while we snuggle together?"

"Of course my love"

* In any case; I imagine that if their S/O asked them for a massage they would gladly give it to them lmao. also, i think im gonna do a part 2 with konoha boys mmm

How'd Itachi react his s/o likes to watch serial killer documentaries like one time Itachi came home and she was so indulge in watching Dahmer that she didn't realize he was home and he would be like "don't you get scared watching this stuffs alone?"

[ 🌸 ] this was funny nonnie <3 - thank u,,, also my lovely readers pls drink water

characters: itachi uchiha,,

genre: fluff

warnings: none, modern au!, fem!reader, also mentions of serial killers 

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* JSSJJSJ

* sweeeet boiii

* anyway!

"Honey, I'm back home!" Itachi said as he took off his coat and put it on the rack. "Honey?" Itachi spoke again as he placed the travel bag on the floor.

At first he thought that you would be in the living room, imagining that perhaps you were asleep on the sofa because it was already midnight and also it would not be the first time that you expected him this way, and all because of his work he had to travel regularly. itachi smiled as he took off his shoes remembering how earlier he had called you to let you know that his trip had ended earlier than expected and that he would arrive that same day at night.

When he finished taking off his shoes he walked into the living room, excited to finally see you, this time not through a screen, even though you were asleep and couldn't greet him verbally that is, that's why when he didn't see you in the sofa was confused. 'Weird, maybe she's in the room' with this realization he went to your room thinking that maybe you were waiting there asleep.

And there he saw you, you were sitting on the bed with various treats around you while you were watching on your laptop a uh… Were you watching a horror movie?

"Honey?"

“um? O Itachi! There you are, I didn't hear you, I'm sorry” you spoke while giving him one of your loving smiles that warmed his heart, you quickly paused what you were watching as you turned completely towards him.

"It's Okay, what are you watching at?" Itachi said as he approached the bed where you were, to tell the truth he was surprised that you were still awake at this hour, but he still welcomed this turn of events.

"Oh, it's a documentary about a serial killer from the years 1978 and 1991, it's super interesting, you should see it, but surely you must be tired" you spoke as you approached to hug him.

"Heh, yes, but I'm surprised you see this kind of thing, dear"

"Hm?, why do you say that?"

"Well... don't you get scared watching this kind of stuff alone?"

"Oh not at all love, it's quite entertaining to watch haha I'm actually quite excited to show you this documentary"

"Mhp, I see, I can't wait" Itachi said as he gave you a sweet kiss.

* in conclusion sweet booi is not going to worry as long as you enjoy watching this kind of stuff JSJSJS

* he will worry if you get a little paranoid because of that kind of content, he doesn't like to see you distressed or something like that.

* oh yes I forgot to mention that he probably joins you from time to time when you are watching this type of documentaries, just to keep you company, plus he likes to be with you, even if he doesn't pay attention to the documentary lmao .

𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

[ 🌸 ] Today it's my soft boy's turn, tomorrow I don't know who I'll choose...

characters: itachi uchiha;;some character mentions

genre: fluff;;fluff;fluff

warnings: just a sweet boy and how he would be like your partner;;itachi pampering the reader;;fem!reader;;some mentions of spicy stuff;;non massacre AU!

Itachi as a boyfriend?, yes please <3. 

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- Aa

- Where do I begin?

- He is a sweet but weird boy

- Itachi being the good ninja that he is always watching everyone

- You know? He even pays attention to the smallest stone. That's how observant he is. The bad thing is that he then downplays the people he sees

- Like; “oh yes, I saw you the other day. But I forgot your face and I remembered you until today when I saw you again"

- So yes, it was inevitable that he didn't notice you at the end of the day.

- But if you want to seriously attract his attention, you should have something remarkable.

- Something that makes you unique, like a strange hair color, a pretty smile, or even a striking personality

- But here comes the bad

- He will not approach you to talk to you

- This is 100% canon seriously

- he will not approach you unless it is necessary xd

- Literally, Shisui was the one who approached Itachi. I think if Shisui hadn't reached out to Itachi, the Kid wouldn't have had any friends.

- I feel like Itachi would love to have a person opposite of him as a lover. What do I mean by this, you will ask yourself; that he would be attracted to someone a little more outgoing than himself.

- So yes, he wouldn't mind being with someone more outgoing. But please don't overwhelm him lmaoo

- So imagine you talked to him and then over time you became friends, and then you became lovers.

- Itachi would enjoy your outgoing personality, for him, you feel like a fresh air in his life. Also, he secretly enjoys telling bad jokes with the person he loves, so expect a lot of jokes from him. I feel like he would like someone who is down to earth as well, he obviously wouldn't mind if you take a break from reality for a bit as he enjoys bringing you back to reality over and over again lol.

- Body preferences? Do you ask if he is attracted to a specific body type? Oh my, that's so far from Itachi xd. That doesn't mean that he doesn't appreciate his partner's curves or chubby, It's just that he just doesn't care if you have some hair on your legs or your skin color, Itachi just doesn't care how you are physically, since he doesn't fell in love with your body in the first place, he fell in love with your personality.

- will always be on the lookout for you, like "have you eaten yet?" "How did you sleep last night?"

- He cares about your health as much as he cares about Sasuke's

- Speaking of Sasuke I've seen a lot of toxic headcanons on a certain topic, in particular: “Itachi loves his brother more than you” and oh my God no, that's so far from reality. Itachi loves them both equally, Sasuke is his brother and you are his partner! The two of you will always be by his side. And that will never change… so please never doubt that you are just as important as Sasuke and that he will always love you.

- Going on to another topic...

- Itachi enjoys taking care of you, you could even say that… ahem is one of the biggest kinks of him-like… when- you know… after the spicy stuff ,,, oww

- I feel like Itachi would enjoy someone smaller than him, how he loves having his chin rest on your head when he hugs you, and you just disappear under his huge body and it's so-- awww

- Cuteeee

-We already know that Itachi does not judge, so he will take his precious time to get to know you better and guess what, it is the best investment he has made

- Because he met a beautiful angel fallen from heaven that bears your name, <3 and yes, it's you precious.

- On the other hand, the investment of time that has been taken to get to know you will also help him to know how you are, like: if you are rude, you lie, and you always discredit others -kabuto is that you?- Itachi will simply leave the room, or it will just run away from you as fast as it can, and you will never see it again.

- Aww Itachi is so nice to you that he is just so AGHWA

- sorry, I got excited-

- Ahem…!

- Itachi is so gentle, kind, sweet and so selfless with you and believe me he loves you so much… he can't help but seek your comfort first before his.

- Please talk to him and tell him that his comfort is also important -cries in Spanish-

- Mikoto raised Itachi (and Sasuke too) to be chivalrous towards women. So he's always going to pull your chair after you sit down, he's going to open doors for you, he's going to hold your hand when you're going through a crowd, he's going to carry your stuff.

- i imagine in a modern setting he would open the car doors for you, he would hold your hand as he drives aawww he is so cute

- Itachi is from the old school,, So after having asked your parents and you for permission to woo you, he sent you flowers of different colors; Each bouquet he sent had a small note, on one side were written his feelings for you and on the other side what each flower meant.

- Some flowers that he sent you were; tulips, orchids, licianthus, white lilies <3 awww

- My boy sent you beautiful poems sometimes, or he just wrote how he felt about you

- When both officially became a couple and the idea of marriage became a plan for the near future, he began to give you jewelry and small trinkets

- You know?, like; Pearl Pendants, bracelets with small diamonds. Only the best for his partner.

- He is the son and heir of a clan boss, money will never be a problem for this family, also when you become his wife you will become the matriarch of the Uchiha clan.

- Even so... he overwhelmed you with ✨jewels✨

- lmao

- Leaving that aside...

- He is good at cooking, his mom taught him well. Honestly, he surprised you, he spoils you with his food, and you enjoy it, you feel like a queen.

- When he has to go on a long mission he makes Sasuke or Shisui take care of you (Spoiler: they're weird guys like him), plus he leaves a crow nearby to watch you at night (I told you he was weird).

- Obviously, you noticed the crow. Another spoiler you named the crow, It's called; Almendras.

- Shy boy Shy boy

- He doesn't like the pda so much, like: it's okay if you hold his hand while walking, but don't kiss him in front of everyone… he's going to have a heart attack -owww

- Aa~, but when you're inside your house or his, it's a different story.

- Itachi loves kisses, hugs, caresses, pampering... Pampering! Pampering him please, it's his favorite thing in the world!

- Although at first he didn't get used to kisses, lmao

- He was so nervous

- But after a while you were the one who got nervous lmao

- Let me tell you that his kisses are so soft but hard at the same time. They always take your breath away, Itachi loves to taste and listen to the little sounds you make, it's so addictive to him aww

- oh

- Right, I forgot something.

- Itachi likes to touch you, but at the beginning of the relationship he was too shy. Now that he's used to it, he can't keep his hands off you.

.

.

.

- What I want to say is that Itachi loves you, and he will love you until the end of his days. And if you allow him to stay by your side, he will do whatever it takes so that you never lack for anything ❤️

* Many things were missing owww -cries in Spanish-

* maybe i’ll do a little fanfic in which he dances with the reader under the moon? It would be fun u.u mmmm…

* I have to look for tutorials on how to manage tumblr, seriously...hELP-LMAO

𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶;; 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦

[ 🌸 ] uchiha version

characters: itachi uchiha; obito uchiha; madara uchiha; sasuke uchiha; shisui uchiha

genre: fluff

warnings: none, fem!reader

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itachi uchiha

*cute boy *against all odds, his interest in you did not begin at the academy. *actually, you and him weren't even in the same class, lmao- it all started on a mission. *he didn't even turn to look at you when the hokage told him that you would be on his team lie, he did- he even turned to look at you twice

*things got a little crazy in the mission, and suddenly your team was surrounded by enemy ninjas. Quickly, four of your group members were injured, and itachi was starting to wear out. He had really forgotten about you

*and it is just at that moment that you manage to reach him after putting your injured companions in a safe place

*my boy let out the air that he had been holding after he realized that you were fine and that he was not alone in this, haha

*after the fight and reaching Konoha successfully, and after checking that the injured were okay and giving the report to the hokage he approached you

A quiet, yet soft voice spoke to you from behind you, "… I wanted to thank you for earlier"

*you smiled tenderly at his grateful words, assuring him that there was nothing to be thankful for

*obviously, you weren't aware of the little jump that Itachi's heart gave when he saw your pretty smile.

*the poor kid froze before mentally beating himself up to compose himself.

*just as you were leaving, he stopped you

“…would you like to go out some day?”

"huh?"

*although several months have passed, he will never admit his attraction to you, at least not for now.

*but you can rest easy… It won't take that long until Shisui or his mother encourage him to court you when they realize that he is feeling things for his pretty teammate.

"What's wrong? Is the whiz boy afraid of a pretty girl?" //proceeds to poke him in succession with his finger// “huh? huh? huh-?”

“Shisui… you have 5 seconds to run, and two have already passed”

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obito uchiha

*obito swore that he would not fall in love again after what happened with rin *but it happens that nothing goes as he wants *especially after you walked through that door of the akatsuki hideout with your stupid and pretty smile *he found himself looking for you after that meeting under the pretext that he didn't trust you for being the new girl lying boy, he just wanted to see your smile *on the other hand you were beginning to feel harassed by the awkward boy with the orange mask *your partner and his friend-rival realized that

"but senpaaaaaaaaai-"

"tobi stop pestering!"

"but tobi just want to see how the new girl is doing!"

"i swear to God and everything beautiful in this world-!"

"…can I turn him into a puppet?"

"guys…"

*they pretend that they are not interested if something happens to you, or that tobi does something to you they are a couple of liars

*but you can be sure of something- obito will never tell you who he is

*although if you want something with him, you will have to go for it, girl.

*he won't accept how he feels about you unless you make him see it, lmao

*although he will protect you feverishly even if both of you are not something

*imagine that you are on a mission with Tobi, and suddenly you come across something that could put you in danger

*oh yeah, just ignores tobi's mood swing and strange aura while he deals with the bad guys

*don't worry, he will be your shadow, although you will never know it.

- - -

madara uchiha

*this intimidating man is a joke, pfff- don't look at me like that

*the man is a 10/10 when it comes to talking about politics

*but he's a 0/10 when it comes to confronting you, lmao

*you're not even from his clan to begin with, and his father only taught him to woo women from his clan, not outside women from the uchiha clan tend to expect certain behaviors when expecting to be courted

*anyway

*he started to fall in love when he saw your pretty eyes when you looked directly at him without any fear or shame

*he's not going to lie; it made him nervous

*because since his sharingan woke up, no woman dared to look him in the eye in the same way that you did, oh

*you make his stomach feel light and his mind spin

*and don't make me start with his face, which looks flushed and the fact that it feels very hot

*the man thinks you're some kind of magician or something, lmao

*because, my God, how is this event possible?

*The great madara uchiha in love? What a lie

*anyway

*do you have patience? good, you will need it to wait for the man to gain confidence

*because he may be confident and headstrong when it comes to the battlefield, but he's a cinnamon bun who doesn't know how to pose for the audience when it comes to the dreaded ✨romance✨

“come on, big brother… you can do it!”

"wait…- no izuna!"

"hey Y/N, my brother wants to ask you something!"

"izuna-!"

*God, please help him

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sasuke uchiha

*a disaster

*a complete disaster

*he can handle hate, you know?

*but he can't handle these beautiful emotions and sensations, oww

*make his stomach flutter and his legs shake unnaturally

*he's already a teenager, he thinks… he's too mature for this, he thinks!

*poor guy

*if he only knew

*anyway

*try to avoid you

*like, if you're on his "renamed team every chapter" he'll just ignore your existence

*He won't be rude, though!

*it will be more like a "good morning" in the morning and a "good night" at night, and that's it

*those will be your only interactions 💀

*ah, but don't let him see you in danger, he'll run to where you are without hesitation, pfff

*in the end, everything stops thanks to the intervention of Suigetsu and Jugo who couldn't stand the two of them

*somehow they manage to make sasuke bring up his feelings for you

*so they decide to help him at the end of the day with motivating words

"you just have to talk to her"

//jūgo nods//

"you shouldn't be afraid of her, she won't bite you"

//jūgo nods//

"don't tell me that the great sasuke uchiha is afraid of a girl-"

"…suigetsu shut up"

//jūgo nods again he can't decide who to support//

*in the end, he's just a soft guy who doesn't know what to do at the end of the day

- - -

shisui uchiha

*you were his cousin's classmate, and somehow you managed to be friends with itachi

*and one day he finally met you

*shisui takes everything with humor, you know?

*he is a fun person who likes to enjoy little things

*like, he's the guy who's always in a good mood

*but when you're around him, his mind goes blank

*his funniest jokes suddenly forget, or he doesn't know how to explain them from one moment to another, and suddenly they are not funny anymore, they are embarrassing 💀 even itachi makes a subtle grimace on his stupid stoic face that he charges whenever he opens his mouth to deliver a “joke”

*he doesn't know what to do or how to react

*and for some reason, he stutters a lot when he tries to explain his joke again

*itachi is there luckily to comfort him at the end of the day, but: "no, itachi- don't give me love advice when you haven't even had a girlfriend!"

*somehow he will overcome this historic moment in his life and be able to woo you properly

*when? Uhh… someday, I don't know, I'm not psychic-

"You just have to talk to her-"

“You say that like it's easy, itachi!"

[🌸]… minors go back 🤺🤺🤺 gO BAAAAAAAACK 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

genre: smut & fluff

warnings: yall this thing is short 🗣️

…

Itachi knows that sometimes he can't be the best lover.

Sometimes his lungs fail, and he can't make love to you as much as he would like. He knows that even if he wished with all his might, it would be impossible.

So, as compensation, he leans you over the nearest surface and lowers himself to the level of your cute pussy to blow a bit before starting to lick you.

It's practical and simple. He doesn't need to exert much physical effort to leave you trembling from how sensitive your little hole becomes for the continuous licking over your sensitive clitoris.

Of course, he wishes it weren't so. Itachi sometimes wishes he had enough stamina to continuously fill you with his semen. He wishes he didn't suffer from the illness that afflicts his lungs.

He wishes he could put you in different positions to continue stimulating and violating your sensitive G-spot from different angles while you beg him between gasps and moans to slow down.

But those are just wishes, fantasies, he knows it. At least they’ll be until you two find a cure for his illness.

For now, Itachi will do what he does best: lick your pussy until he almost leaves you unconscious for the pleasure.

lmao

write nsfw it’s actually funny… pfff—

tagssss : @itami-uchiha-19 ,, @distelsterncat (maybe u would like read something ??) ,, @dabilove27 ,, @uchihaharlot ,, @radika376 ,, @saintrocklee

Just tagging some people since there aren't many ita–ita writings🥺🥺like where is everyone ??

…

No, because when someone asks me, "what would a relationship with Itachi canon be like, you know, the rogue ninja who killed everyone to stop a civil war and abandoned his brother for his own good?", I imagine a relationship similar to that of Greg and Rose Quartz.

Imagine being a civilian who enjoys playing the guitar, and one day, singing in the forest, you encounter this mysterious man.

He congratulates you, arguing that he was drawn to you by your melodious voice and the gentle sound of the guitar.

He tells you his name after you tell him yours, although you vaguely asks why he didn't tell you his last name. But, Itachi is a nice name even if there's no suffix to pair it with.

The most random and imaginative topics arise in each encounter you both have. You two always meet in the same place, always at the same time. It quickly becomes a routine for you.

Without signs indicating that Itachi comes from any village or indicating that he is a ninja, you are left wondering where this sweet man could have come from. (although maybe if you looked behind the tree that is two meters away from you, you would see the articles he used daily)

Maybe he's the son of a vendor passing through your town, or maybe he's a tourist who likes to visit towns that aren't visible at first glance on the map.

Whatever he may be, it doesn't matter, not as long as your heart beats strongly when his hand brushes yours or when his fingers gently touch your cheek as he tries to tuck your wild locks behind your ear.

Itachi knows it's wrong. He knows these encounters are wrong. But he can't help but want to be by your side, listening to you ramble about random and simple yet fascinating things that as a ninja he never would have thought or imagined.

You make him feel like someone normal, like an ordinary man. You make him feel alive, something he hadn't felt since the massacre, perhaps even long before joining the Anbu.

It's as if he doesn't have blood covering his hands. As if he doesn't bear all the hatred of the world on his tired shoulders, preventing him from breathing.

All his problems disappear from his mind when you allow him to rest his head to take a nap, while you arguing that his dark circles look too big. Nightmares and insomnia leave him when you run your delicate hands, with no calluses in sight, through his hair. The protest dies on the tip of his tongue when you scratch that specific part that quickly turns him into putty in your hands.

One morning, Itachi Uchiha vaguely realizes that the dark circles and stress marks have become smaller and blames you for the gentle fluttering his heart does at the thought of you taking care of him. Kisame looks at him puzzled when he comes out of the bathroom. At first glance, he had a neutral face, but his eyes told a different story; they looked more alive.

Kisame wondered what or who made him that way. Itachi simply ignores him as usual, trying to keep the corners of his lips from rising because his happiness hasn't waned yet and he doesn't want Kisame to see him like that.

It's a night when Itachi finally realizes that he has fallen deeply in love with you. His heart stops for a moment when he realizes that it hurts to think about leaving you when he dies at the hands of his brother.

And he simply doesn't want to.

He doesn't want to leave your side. He's being selfish, he knows it well, but for once he wants to be. He himself destroyed all his dreams and hopes, all for Konoha and his younger brother.

By sacrificing his world, he can never become Hokage or live in Konoha again.

Maybe if he cut his hair and ran away with you to live in another secluded place away from the ninja world—

He stopped.

What was he thinking? He was dangerous. Everything about him was dangerous.

He had hurt so many people, had ended the lives of so many. You deserved someone better, someone who didn't have hands stained with blood or a destroyed man.

And he simply decides to push you away.

He told himself that this would be the last time. He didn't hesitate when he told you that he didn't want to see you again and that you should stay away from him.

Maybe if he were strong enough and you didn't have him in the palm of your hand, he would have been stronger, and he would have left without explanations.

But that wasn't the case.

"Itachi, you have to tell me what's going on."

Itachi sighed, almost as if trying to prepare himself for what he was about to say. "I— you have dreams, I don't want you to sacrifice everything for me," he told you the truth, unable to hide it under a lie.

"It's a pity."

"Uh?"

"You are all I want."

“So…”

“Hmm?”

“What was the answer?”

“… Love”

“Woahhh-! I know it!”

“So do i”

…

*the end*

love like you starts playing in the background

Also— maybe I’m gonna write a series of this now that i have ao3 🤭

Okay, okay, okay.

I'm just being my normal crazy self, but that's the idea because— yes, I'm crazy, but the best people are.

An AU soulmates with Itachi.

But to make things difficult and different, you are a deaf person.

And Itachi, for the first time in his life, doesn't know what to do because he was never taught how to communicate in sign language.

And he just stands there, not knowing how to communicate the happiness he feels for finally finding you, his soulmate.

So he just hugs you, he brings you close to his heart, to his cold body that has only known suffering from the cuts of a sword. He is waiting and wishing that the hug is enough to share the love that only someone who found their soulmate could feel.

And it's simply and so BEAUTIFUL because words are not necessary to express how much you both love each other. And it's just 😭🥺…

Okay, enough— I'll go write since no one thinks of pampering me with writings of Itachi 🗿

Hello dear! I saw that your requests were open & you take requests for Naruto, could you write headcanons of Itachi with a girl who’s just as admired as him? How would he take that situation especially when he has a crush on her as well? 👀 Please take your time with it & if you don’t wish to write it or it doesn’t spark the interest, feel free to discard it <3 have a great day!

[ 🌸 ] hi sweetie 🤍 hope you are good too

characters: itachi uchiha; other characters mentioned

genre: fluff, a romantic comedy maybe (?)

warnings: none, a nervous itachi feat; two meddling fools (shisui and sasuke)

…

..

.

—Ay

—Well

—What a funny situation!

—No, but seriously

—Maybe his attention focused on you the moment you were promoted to Jonin, or maybe when his own Jonin colleagues and retired ANBU companions were talking about this lovely medical ninja.

—Don't get it wrong, but how could he avoid feeling intrigued when his own retired ANBU colleagues kept talking about this person, always commenting on how careful and beautiful you looked when you were healing them?

—But, of course, it wasn't until you were paired with his team for a mission that split into two missions that he really got interested in you.

—You were put on his team by the Hokage, all because they needed to escort a medical ninja from Konoha to the Sand Village to see the Daimyo, who had been poisoned with a strange venom by one of his servants who turned out to be an infiltrated spy following the orders of a missing ninja from Konoha.

—His team, on the other hand, was sent to find both.

—He didn't think much of you, more like another member of his team. Of course, that was until on the way back (surprisingly) he got hurt by a venomous kunai from a rogue ninja who attacked them.

—You extracted the venom without complications; however, what you didn't notice was that he was watching you while you did your work.

—And that’s where the magic happened.

—Maybe it helped that he was already interested in you long before meeting you in person, or maybe not.

—Anyway.

—Itachi wasn’t foolish; he had already heard about you before, but seeing you up close, he could understand why so many people talked about you.

—When they arrived in Konoha and he had the chance, he thanked you for taking care of him.

—It was when you reassured him saying there was no problem that he fell.

—He fell HARD for you.

—aNYWAY

—I think I already said it before… but I'll say it again!

—For some reason, Itachi tries to find more information about you, you know, the usual: parents, friends, likes, secrets, though he wouldn’t go as far as stalking you (or maybe he would, who knows).

—Poor Itachi.

—In love and being teased by Shisui about it, who encourages him to confess.

—Sasuke joins in too for some reason (little brat)

“Sasuke, what are you...?”

“You should go and confess to her or at least ask her out, you know? You finally look interested and happy with someone, and you don’t look so bitter anymore-”

POKE

“Ouch! What was that for-?”

POKE

—He tries!

—He really does, but whenever he tries to approach you, you are talking to someone.

—He doesn't want to intrude on your conversation and look like a fool (poor thing).

—It wasn't until one day, while you were walking through the streets of Konoha, that he appeared out of nowhere (boy, he was literally thrown towards where you were by Shisui).

—You two almost collided if it weren't for Itachi's good reflexes.

—Despite his nervousness, he manages to invite you to eat (please say yes, the poor guy's heart is about to burst).

—To his good fortune, you say yes (he swore his soul left and returned to his body).

—Slowly you two begin to spend more time together.

—Whether it's for missions or their unexpected encounters to go out to eat.

—Itachi starts suggesting the idea of training together.

—Gradually realizing that his little crush turned into something big when he really gets to know you for who you are.

—Constantly trying to find signs that maybe you feel the same way about him.

—Itachi realizing that maybe he's not as careful as he thinks he is when his mother and father find out about his crush.

—It wasn't until he found out that Shisui and Sasuke spilled the beans to his mother and his mother to his father.

—He swears he wants to disappear at the happy and constant questions and teasing from his mother about his crush in front of his father’s amused gaze.

—Now his family wants to meet you, ay.

—He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

—He really doesn't want to.

—Especially making you think that he’s just another one of those admirers who don't see beyond your looks.

—*sigh* If only instead of constantly thinking about how beautiful you look, he noticed how you look at him and how your eyes shine, he would stop thinking that he’s going to make you uncomfortable.

—All this is a time bomb though!

—In the sense of who knows which one of you will confess first; you or him.

—lmao

itachi hcs modern au | work place | you and itachi are besties nothing romantic | genre: fluff

a/n: just my word vomit <3

he is your personal coffee machine. with the stress lines he has you bet he drinks a lot of black coffee. however the vending machine and its crappy packed coffee isn’t where its at. you take your time to get 2 cappuccinos everyday and spend time intricately putting sugar in them. itachi is a keen observer and will prepare it for you during those times when ur extremely busy. suppose you have an urgent meeting, or just a commitment you couldn’t miss. can’t let his champ get all drowsy can he?

on occasions when you are tired and annoyed. he would order starbiez (starbucks) and share it with you. knowing your love for their frappes. however keep in mind he is only doing this cause ur his office bestie grrr! also; when people try to get into your possé he can be slightly unkind. “i suppose you can tend to this later,” he smiles softly. asking for your excessively social colleague to back off when you & him are out to take a breather.

you share your best kept secret — your spotify playlist with him which you listen to often while working. he also, does the same. eventually ya’ll find out how similar your tastes are <3 in music. this leads to him randomly pinging you on teams with a song link, or sharing a lo-fi, reverb version of the song.

will randomly call you when you don’t wanna be disturbed just so you can share your screen & it will show as DND to others. however, he sits beside you the whole time working. <3 bestie 101 he’s the best okay?

can be quite cute when he asks you that you should have a makeup touch-up. whenever you have important meetings, he will be there asking you to retouch your blush/hair. “look good. remember they are already baffled by your brilliance. your beauty is the cherry on top.”

can be ur smoking buddy however he is reluctant to. looks like a mafia boss when he’s smoking and always rolls his eyes with a friendly smirk when you ask him whether his side hustle is of a mafia boss & whether he is doing this one cause of boredom. responds with, “guess we’ll see when i abduct you,”

at work parties he insists on driving you home cus he doesn’t trust anybody for shit. once you asked him that after 2 years if him & you both are still single he can marry you and that got my baby flustered lajsgdjdks

also, loyalty to the core. the colleagues you hate? he hates duh! fun fact: intjs are extremely competitive individuals and also like to shove their wins to their competitors faces so u can expect that a LOT from him. at the same time; he won’t ever compete with you cus basic human decency you do not compete w your best friends 💅🏻

sometimes when the chef in him awakens, he brings you those dishes for lunch and they are immaculate <3

Omg hi ily. Headcanons for itachi? Romantic sfw and nsfw? I’m not sure if you write nsfw on this blog but it’s totally ok if you don’t! ❤️❤️

Awe! I love you too! Thank you so much for requesting 💌 I hope you like this!

Edit: I DIDN'T SEE THE NSFW THING BUT YES I DO WRITE IT SHSHSHSH OKAY-))

Headcanons for Uchiha Itachi

SFW

Itachi is definitely a closet lover, especially at first. He's very timid and, while he loves his s/o with all of his heart and soul, he's not that sure about letting anyone other than like..Kisame know that he's in a relationship.

However, never fear! Although PDA is hardly in the picture, he's still a very kind and loving man. He'll come home from a long mission and his first priority is to wrap his arms around them. Their presence is enough to calm his nerves and make him feel at ease.

He's not all-over-you touchy, though. He'll curl up to their side and hold their hand while they both read a good book.

This is sweet in itself because randomly one of them starts muttering about the book, sparking the others interest and it turns out to be a 4 hour discussion. This really helps Itachi and his s/o strengthen their own bond over their love for reading.

On a special occasion, Itachi will bring his s/o their favorite flowers and a treat. Whether this is food or a stuffed animal all depends on his s/o.

Will defend them to the death. He's lost so many people and so many loved ones that he downright refuses to lose s/o. Sometimes they'll wake up in the middle of the night because he's got them in a death grip.

He's very nurturing and good at listening. Had a rough day? Sit in his lap. He'll play with your hair and intently listen to every detail of your story. He's very good at advice and will offer it if you ask.

If there is ever a fight or an argument, he's usually the first to approach them and apologize, even if his s/o was the one in the wrong. He doesn't play the blame game, but wants to get to a point where the two of them can discuss the conflict and hopefully make up quickly.

If his s/o ever gets extremely updet, like to the point of crying, he'll wrap them up in a hug and sing to them ever so quietly. Sasuke used to enjoy this, and so does s/o. Both get a sense of protection and peace.

He's very sneaky when it comes to romance, but he does enjoy picking up trinkets from missions and bringing them home to his lover. He's always thinking of them.

He's always the last one asleep and the first one awake, never wanting to feel like he isn't protecting them. However, if he were excessively tired or stressed, he's more than happy to curl up to their chest and fall asleep.

Itachi genuinely loves the sound of his s/o breathing. Creepy, but with sweet intentions. If they're just relaxing together or they're sleeping, he'll idly listen to the rhythm of their breaths. It reminds him that they're really there with him, that they're alive and well next to him.

NSFW

Going along with his passive and calm nature, he's very gentle and considerate when it comes to making love to his s/o. He can never really see intercourse as 'fucking'.

He always does everything to please his lover before himself, making sure to keep in mind what actions get the best reactions.

He's kind-of really into body worship, always going on to tell his s/o that he finds every part of their body beautiful

Starts out lightly kissing each oart of their face, making sure they feel warm and loved. Then he'll move down to their neck and throat.

Not a big marker, will leave 2 or 3 mid-sized hickies just as his own mental reminder.

However feel free to do the opposite. Mark. This. Boy. Up.

He's so o o o good at giving head. You'll feel in heaven. He doesn't go at you like a feral animal, but he's not shy about it. He's so soft and gentle with his sweetheart.

No dirty talk, just..dirty praise?

"There's a good girl/boy..does that feel good?" "Yes..do you like it this way?" "Your shaking..that must mean I'm doing something right.."

Please let him know he's doing good he needs the reassurance

He's really a bedroom body, only wanting to take his s/o in the bedroom or somewhere close and private.

Usually will take his s/o missionary style, but is definitely comfortable with cowgirl.

If his partner is anti-cum inside, he pulls out like the fucking flash. Pull-out game 1000.

If they're okay with it, he always makes sure that he embraces them and gives them a kiss. He wants them to be a s s u r e d

If you give him a blowjob he melts. Melting weasel. He turns into a moaning and whimpering mess.

Heavy switch energy.

Okay so think this- Itachi falling in love with sasuke’s ex teammate who is on team7. Let’s just pretend that team7 was a five man squad. Relationship headcanons for that scenario? Ily 😳❤️

((Hehe yes~ I hope these are to your liking! And that I didn't ramble on to long wjwjs))

Headcanons for Itachi falling in love/dating Sasuke's exteammate

Before

Itachi was so confused when he realized he fell in love

Especially with them

He had remembered them from before he left, but other than that all he knew was what Sasuke had said.

They were a shinobi and he was a criminal. Not only, but Sasuke had left for his revenge so long ago. Itachi didn't even think that they'd remember him.

On the Kazekage rescue mission however, eye contact was all he needed.

They remembered him.

He didn't know how to feel, but any romantic action could get the both of them in very big trouble.

After Itachi's intitial sight of them, he knew he had to see them again.

Why? When it risked so much for the both of them?

Love was a finicky thing

Soon after, he used a crow to sight them out and soon found them when they were in the forest surrounding Konoha. Out of the village where they wouldn't get caught.

They instantly got defensive when he approached, asking if they knew anything about Sasuke. A diversion.

When they replied 'no', he sort of dipped into the reason why he initially approached them.

"I couldn't help but remember you..from all of that time ago..you've grown stronger."

Wow a compliment. Savor that, reader-chan.

If they acted hostile and demanded him leave, Itachi would comply and would never return.

If they calmed down (even if they were still a bit defensive, as expected in the presence of a criminal) and kept a decent conversation, he would ask if they minded meeting him here again.

If they denied, he'd respect their choice and would stop following them and would not return.

If they accepted, he'd give a small smile and poke their forehead. Then he'd go on his way before they were both prodded about where they were.

After a good handful of meetings, Itachi could feel his romantic attraction to them build. However he was very hesitsnt due to still calculating the risks of being in a relationship.

Anyone looking to hurt him could go after them, the Leaf could force them into giving information about him..it was all the matter of risk.

If they started to act flirty, he might turn it down for now. He didn't want any influential sway about his final choice.

Finally, he had made the choice that you only live once and he'd protect them the best he could from all of that.

If they denied he'd reassure them it was okay, but then he'd likely receed from them and never show up again.

After

Dating would be very secretive

The Akatsuki can't know, nobody in Konoha can know.

Since they were still actively on team 7, he dreaded that one day they might have a mission to attack him.

All he could do was hope.

However, that was only in the back of his mind.

The longer they were together, the more open he was with them.

He told them stories of his younger days, certain recipes and especially baby Sasuke.

However, as much as he loved them, he would not share any of the Akatsuki's information and asking him for it would warrant some distrust from him. He'd think they were only with him to get information and would likely abandon the relationship.

However if it was an accidental question that was like 'what's it like' or 'do you all share a bathroom', something clearly innocent, he wouldn't get freaked out.

Do not ask to join the Akatsuki. No. Absolutely not. He doesn't want them to risk getting in any shit with Konoha or in any of the trouble that follows the criminals around everywhere.

Please do not bring up anything about the Uchiha massacre. At all.

If they were to abandon Konoha and live outside of the village, Itachi might bring Kisame by on the way to or back from a mission.

Kisame definitely would know about Itachi's s/o and these two are like the Fort Knox of this secret.

If Itachi's s/o gets along well with Kisame, he's absolutely elated.

Sometimes Itachi will stay with them overnight, mostly if he has a relaxed time solo mission.

If they stay in Konoha, they sadly can only meet in the forest. S/o better be careful because they might rouse some suspicion.

Itachi would be a lot more careful with things like dates, only really taking them in secluded places with low chances of others seeing them.

If his s/o learns ANYTHING about Sasuke, Itachi will find out. If you try to hold it back he'll get very upset.

konohagakure didn't deserve these precious boys

work by masashi kishimoto

song is die with a smile by lady gaga, bruno mars