Info Dump - Tumblr Posts
Heya! I've been getting into Steven Universe lately so I created my own OC, which I named based of a Ametrine Stone! Their main weapon are two daggers, and she had the ability to move objects with her mind (Telekinesis). I'm still working on her backstory, but what I have so far is that they really never fit in with home world. So naturally they were an outcast, causeing her to have to move plant to plant to stay away from the Gems from home world. Which were after their due to abilitys, odd nature, and Gem. One day they were in a small ship that they had created, looking for a new plant to hide on. That was untell out of nowhere a home world ship (One like the one the Ruby's used to and the Crystal Gems thought they were going after Peradot in during season 3 episode 9). Causeing them to crash land on Earth and coincidentally right next to the light house in Beach city. Which is right next to the Crystal Gems temple. Which this alerts the Crystal Gems and as usual they go and check out the scene. Which by now Ametrine had already pulled themselves out of the ship and was taking a moment to breath after the incident. Yet that breath was short lasted once the Crystal Gems arrived and when they saw her that quickly took her as an enemy while Ametrine did the same. Causieng them to jump up and hold out her Weapons (Daggers) in a fighting stance, prepared for anything. Thinking that the Crystal Gems were their enemy's. So they fought, and even with her strength the Crystal Gems were easily able to overpower them. Though they chose not to shatter them and instead they only caused Ametrine to Poof! (Idk what it's called I just remember that's what Steven calls it). Once they had Ametrine contained they took then back to the temple to "interrogate" them which it wasn't much of an investigation. They put them in the only secure place they could think of untell Ametrine would finally reform. Which they chose Amethysts messy room. Once Ametrine did reform they were quickly on their case asking her things like "Who are you?" Or things like "Are you with home world?". Which once these questions were asked it quickly showed that it was one big missunderstanding. So Ametrine quickly explained the situation and how they were not with home world. Which caused the Crystal Gems to lower their guard. They chose to let Ametrine go, but also wanted to keep an eye on them for the timebeing to make sure they hadn't lied. ALLRIGHTY!! That's all I really have for the Lore and backstory of the Character so far. Now as for their personally they are a pretty chill person, but is extremely petty at times. As well as a stubborn person, making it difficult to get through to them when they are dead set on something. Yet once they make a good friendship with someone they easily go soft and lower there guard, making them more bubbly around ones they love. Otherwise if they don't trust someone they tend to act cold and suspicious towards the person (or gem). Ok! That's just a short summary of what kinda person they are, but now for relationships with the different characters. They have a good relationship with Steven but they tend to get confused and often worried about the trouble that Steven can get himself into. Which leads them to have a little bit of caution when talking with Amethyst, because of how much trouble she influences Steven to get into. Making them not have the best relationship. The relationship with Pearl and garnet is pretty neutral, they respect them and also look uo to pearl in the slightest. Liking how she like to take control and keep thing neat and tidy. Ametrine has an allright relationship with Lapis, but they tend to butt heads and get into a lot of disagreements. (Mostly small petty things). The person that Ametrine had bonded with the most was Peradot! They grew to have a good relationship and they spend alot of time together!...If you read this far thank you for listening to my info dump on my OC Ametrine! I hope you have an awesome day, see ya goobers!!! >:3
Four tips for writing descriptions
1. Focus on what your character is noticing in the scene
I struggle with putting useless descriptions in my story. At first I did it because I was told I lacked a lot of descriptions so I kind of over did them to compensate. Now I’ve learned it’s all about finding the healthy medium. Ask yourself these questions when you’re reading over a descriptive scene you wrote:
Why did this stand out to my character?
Why is it relevant to my story?
Is this description necessary? Or will no one notice a difference if it’s removed?
2. Utilize the five senses so your reader feels like they’re part of the experience
This will help immerse the reader in your story. Readers want a place to escape--to be submerged in the story. If your character gets a nasty head wound, they want to feel like their own head is throbbing. If your character sees something ghastly, your reader wants to be kept up at night thinking about the gross imagery your described.
3. Use metaphors and similes sparingly (think about the tone of your scene)
When writing descriptions you should focus more on the “actual” rather than the metaphorical. It’s fine to include poetic language, but you don’t want to overdo it. In one of my chapters I suffered from using too many metaphors. Not only that, but I used silly metaphors when the tone of my chapter was more on the serious side. It pulled my readers from the story which is something you never want to do.
Someone once asked for writing advice. Their question was: how do you write someone falling down?
Here are two examples:
The toe of her shoe snagged on a rock and she went crashing down to the floor with a shout. Pain rocketed up her knee as she held it close to her chest.
She hit the ground hard when she tripped. The fall left a stinging bruise on her knee.
The second example is a lot simpler and lacks the metaphoric language that takes away from the scene. It serves the purpose of what I wanted to show: 1) she fell and 2) she got hurt in the process.
4. Worst comes to worst? Keep it simple
If you’re stuck on a description then write it like a fourth grader would. If you’re reaching for a description then maybe it’s a hint that you don’t need to include a convoluted one. Here’s an example from my story:
It was a two story, red-bricked house, with a zigzag cobblestone path leading up to the porch. The lawn was neat. Even the snow fell in an orderly fashion atop each blade of frosted grass. Harper’s father was a straight-laced cop who liked things a certain way, and it showed.
Hope this helps!
This is very helpful and informative! *many claps and thank yous*
Age dreaming VS age regression 101
Fun fact: this took about a month to finish because adhd :P
☆ about me info dump because i like to talk about myself ☆
Favorite bands/music? i listen to the arctci monkeys, thee sacred souls, nat king cole, artemas, and alfie jukes
2. favorite books? Whistling season by Ivan Doig, Red Rabbit by alex grecian, little panic by amanda stern, Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby van Pelt, and david sedaris' entire works and Alix E Harrow's works
3. favorite fairy tale? baba yaga's tales and robin hood.
4. childhood crush? allegedly i had a crush on buzz lightyear as a toddler, though i have no memory of this. also, luke skywalker in the empire strikes back.
5. least favorite book? Wicked saints by Emily A. Duncan. I'll probably write a review on it. also twilight (sorry, u can like it if u want i just didn't)
6. least favorite flavor? artificial watermelon and grape. tastes like perfume and cough syrup respectively.
7. Birthday? june 28 (the perfect birthday because it's 6-28 and 6 plus 2 is 8) i am a cancer and i hate it.
8. wishlist? a new pair of red shoes and a cute portable coffee mug. also a nice glass pen for inking teehee.
that's it, comment any questions if u have them
ily bye xox
Can someone info dump me on Larry?
I really would like to learn more ABT him and his position (and maybe his relationship with Bessières)If you will,can someone just info dump me on all positions (in a nutshell if you will:C
dragon ball z, edgar allen poe, nikola tesla, good omens, pretty much any tim burton movie, monty python, the property of hate, most nintendo/sega franchises, dungeons and dragons, cryptids, lazytown, minecraft, dark souls, star wars, classic star trek, everymanhybrid/creepypasta, elder scrolls, undertale/deltarune, doctor who, most musical theatre, submautica, harry potter, supernatural, warehouse 13, sanctuary, saw, my universe/book/ocs, and my most niche and weird fascination: deep sea creatures, particularly those with bioluminescence. i've gone through a lot of phases of hyperfixation, these are just the ones that come to mind. feel free to message me if you wanna ramble!!!
what are things you could confidently info dump about? if I needed a beginner's course on something, what could I go to you about?
^^^ 100% agree with all of this. i can't imagine how both of them felt in this scenario. gohan's childhood has been a fusion of schooling and trauma, but he's had friends and family that he trusts. and in this instance, he at least trusts vegeta enough to know that they're fighting the same battle right now, and that he won't turn on them - so, he saves him. vegeta, on the other hand, has NEVER had ANY trust in ANYONE before. i'm pretty sure it's canon that his canonically-shitty father didn't even have time to train him before he was taken away by frieza and trained/forced to fight, all the while sparing and trusting no one. i think, other than his tactical knowledge that he's practically useless on the battlefield in the moment, half the reason he instantly gets defensive and angry that gohan saved him is because that's the first time he's ever been saved by anyone. well, unless you count goku saving him from krillin back on earth, which i don't, because goku plainly states that he planned on beating him the next time they met. in that instance, he was allowed to go because goku wanted to get stronger by fighting him again, as well as goku's mercy in general that he shows pretty much every villain - cause he's an idiot a good person. but in this case? there was nothing gohan had to gain from this. vegeta was half dead on the battlefield, and even though he gave "team 3 star" no more tactical advantage, gohan saved him (risking his own life in the process!!!) out of the goodness of his heart.
i could ramble further, but i'll just end it by saying... i don't think it was coincidental that vegeta opened up and literally CRIED to goku about his traumatic childhood mere HOURS after he felt semi-trust/friendship for the first time.
Nobody asked for this, but like... Have some lore from one of my made up worlds.
There is a map to help with imagination a bit! It was made in an online thing called Inkarnate.
Also, the text below is long, but that's just some minor information about some parts of world that seem relevant to the main story. It's very small part of my entire worldbuilding.
You may, during the reading, discover word "fi" or "fie", which is basically another word for elf/elves of this world.
Now, out of the locations I have written lore of so far, I've decided to choose three, first one being
Last Retreat:
The ruined fortress, now only kown as the Last Retreat, gained it's name during the Fourth Age, when Falrid, leader of rebellion, after multiple defeats, managed to hide in here with a small group of survivors from their latest battle. They hid in the secret passage as the royal army went through the old crumbling corridors, attempting to end the lives of Falrid's men and bring Falrid to the so called ''justice''. They managed to find them in the end. The remnants of rebellion fought bravely, but they were against too many people who were in far better shape than them. Once Falrid discovered that the plan was to take them hostage, they decided to commit suicide by jumping into the raging sea from the top of the tower.
The Last Retreat was built in the early Second Age on the command of sister of Nomion the Religious, Nardi. It's initial purpose was to function as a lighthouse, but during multiple smaller conflicts, it served as a fortress and was repurposed to better suit its new job.
~
The second being the area around Alzhad, The Marshlands:
Once a homeland for half-blooded fie that could not survive without water, now just a wasteland filled with their bitter blood and mostly fallen apart villages. The genocide that was organized by Nomion the Religious - the first ruler to openly promote his relationship with Gods - has taken place during the Second Age and the thirty days and nights it had taken to wipe the half-blooded population is now known as The Days of Weeping Souls.
During the Fourth Age, rebellion led by Falrid sought refuge in the ruins of the city Alzhad - the biggest city to be ever built in the Marshlands. The royal army that was dispatched to eliminate this significant portion of rebellion sadly damaged Alzhad even further and the city is now almost unrecognizable.
The Marshlands tend to be covered in mist that conceals the sun most of the times, allowing many animals that would not thrive in the sunlight to live in here. Most of these animals are ambush predators that will gladly eat meat of any fi that may be foolish enough to get caught.
As an addition to these predators lurking in the still, murky waters of questionable depth, another reason for no signs of re-population since The Days of Weeping Souls is the simple fact that no plant seems to be able to survive in the conditions, no matter how much magic is used to keep it alive and healthy. There had been discussions over ehether the land had been poisoned or cursed, but whatever ailment affects the ground, it has no effect on the water, which is, provided that you find one of the few sources that is not contamined with mud, completely safe to consume.
~
And the third one is Tokrë's Shrine:
This place is a ruin of a village that surrounds a statue of Tokrë, one of the Heroes of the Old World. The village itself is overgrown and currently unihabitable due to the poisonous spores released by a rare kind of mushroom that had been only found in this place and any attempts to get rid of it became a failure.
The village is located near to Tokrë's lake, the deepest natural lake in all of Niraquen, and surrounded by mountains.
Despite the convenient location, little to no animals live in surroundings of Tokrë's Shrine. One of the explanations has been the fact that the poisonous spores were creating an enviorment that was unfriendly towards the animals, but this theory was proven to be wrong; the spores are only harmful in large concentrations, something that only happened in places where the air was not circulating properly. There is no actual explanation for the lack of animal species in this region, but no researchers seem to want to dive into this mystery just yet.
Nobody is really sure when exactly was this village left to rot, or who was responsible for building it. No records in any library show any mentions of any person attempting to live in this particular place. The researchers managed to date some of the equipment found in the houses, finding that the oldest pieces were from the beginning of the First Age (still in pristine shape) and the youngest being from the middle of Third Age. The mystery of the abandoned village is being studied by quite a few scholars at the time.
~
Wow, if you actually read all of that, thanks, if not and you just scrolled, well, can't blame ya, this text is really long.
I'm happy for any sort of feedback (even the negative sort)
Laura Weinerman aka Dr. Weinerman university professor at Mad Scientist University she was a colleague of Viceroy in school and had a dislike of Jerry. She met mort while in college he didn’t attend the college but was working tour guide when she almost killed him with her device (an accident) He pointed out her bugs with the device and that day forward they fell in love.
Time however wasn’t so kind as her temper got the best of her and that she spent so much time working then caring about the family but there were times she was there well…not exactly she would have a hologram or camera of her bonding with her kids she only come in person for dinner.
She would give Heidi bad advice as she would tell her you shall crush your enemies and win! Remember 2nd place is first loser. Howard on the other hand she would also give terrible advice to as everyone is his enemy plus due to his knowledge about science she would try to get him into a different school but due to not really fitting with other children she gave up and started to push Heidi. Making howard feel a sense of detachment and when his parents got a divorce he started to act out then blame his dad for being such a pushover.
Randy Cunningham the 9th grade ninja!
So it took me awhile to give him a proper reference sheet but I did it! He’s pretty much the same in canon besides some differences, he’s much more hyper and ego-centric but still a nice kid. He more tired than usual having to pretend he was here the whole time and not fighting some stank monster or a robot to everyone including Howard.
Time travel isn’t a thing in my Au at all so he doesn’t get to physically meet the 1st ninja but he can see him through mystical dreams or an important Shloop. Tengu Howard still exists he gave the scar to Randy on his arm, the sorcerer gave the scar on his face.
New Ghost fan here, & I’m still a bit confused on lore too, but I’ve found a couple things that have definitely helped me with trying to put together the pieces for this big & confusing puzzle. This is all I’ve been able to gather from my little bits of searching.
FIRST, on the official Ghost YouTube they have canon series related to the lore: Chapters, Papaganda, etc. They don’t have those videos in a chronological playlist though sadly, so many ppl have taken it into their own hands to make playlists that are chronological (some of these may not be accurate though ofc).
The best one I’ve found is this one here!
SECOND, if you’re trying to get more rather general info on Papa Nihil, Papa’s 1-2, & the Nameless Ghouls, @beephomets made a video about them (so far there’s part 1, so there may be more from them in the future). Other videos on YouTube “talking about the lore” just focus on shitposting, so not the best sources (no hate to them though ofc).
A link to that also here!
Annnd there’s my info dump, trying to keep it short, as Ghost has been living in my mind rent free. Had to reblog this instead of commenting because of how long this got 😭 Anyone correct me if I'm wrong with anything, & I hope this helps!
INFO DUMP PLS
I recently go into the Ghost Band fandom??? I think that's what it's called??? Anyway, I'm kind of confused about the lore on the band so if anyone wants to info dump... im all ears.
(You can private message or comment below)
@vsprincessdiaries
this is my blog acct. pls follow.
GIVE ME ALL OF THEM!!! especially the dreamscape one! I love seeing peoples original work!!! 👀 it deserves it by hyped!!
Do you have an over view of all your ocs info and lore? If so can I see?? I wish to hyperfixate on your hand crafted blorbo’s 👀
Depends…..which ones do you want…hehehehe
Tsp, dreamscape (book i’m writing) or normal
Please
infodump
I have watched it and I love it and want to consume all knowledge about it
fundamentals paper education
pretty please
*Start voilently shaking* DUDE. ONE THING I FOUND OUT RECENTLY IS THAT LANA DIED. SHE DIED. I DIDN'T KNOW!!!! I'VE BEEN SHIPPING HER WITH MY OC. I WAS LIKE "HEHE F@GG0TS" BUT I GUESS NOT. LIKE. WHAT THE SKIBIDI. C'MON MAN. Also also. Oliver gives me too much gender envy. Like TOO much. WHY. WHY MAKE HIM GENDER???? HE'S THE FLUX TO MY GIRLFLUX. I CAN'T. But he is so cute with like Alice and everything too. OK OK. SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME. WHY DO BITCHES MAKE CANNIBALS PREPPY???? THA- NO. NO. WE GOTTA STOP DOING THAT. YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM COMMIT MILLIONS OF CRIMES AND MAKE THEM SILLY. IT'S DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. THE RESULT OF THIS HAS ME SIMPING FOR CHARACTERS LIKE ALASTOR AND MISS CIRCLE. WE NEED TO STOP. GUYS STOP MAKING CANNIBALS ATTRACTIVE. OK ok ok ok ok ok ok ok. But the problem is also me bc I like gore and all that. BUT MY OC. SHE'S A F@G I SWEAR ON MY LIFE. SHE'S MARRIED TO A WOMAN. LANA. I SWEAR. I SWEAR. Anyway. Skibidi toiler.
Hey there! I was wondering if you could tell me more about Napoleon’s relationship with his master a bit more (I already forgot his name lol)
How different is it from Sebastian and Ciel outside of the eating the souls bit?
Napoleon's relationship with Adam is quite complicated to say the very least.
Adam obviously doesn't trust Napoleon at all (what human would, honestly?). Whenever the two (along with Tobias and Maria) are out in public, all he's worried about is the possibility of these demons killing somebody.
60 percent of the time, all Adam can really think about is the fact that there are not one, not two, but three demons living with him. Compared to Ciel, who handles living with a demon better than most humans would (for the most part at least) Adam is always on-edge around Napoleon. He's always trying to keep the demon satisfied so he doesn't say "fuck it" and eat his soul then and there.
Unlike Sebastian, (whose contract with Ciel prohibits him from lying to him) Napoleon often makes decisions without asking for his master's agreement on the matter.
For example, he invites Ciel & Sebastian (and whoever decided to accompany the two, if anyone) into the inn (at night) without even bothering to inform his lord about new guests arriving. (Adam doesn't even find out until the next morning, and he's kinda pissed at Napoleon, understandably.)
This isn't to say Napoleon is "disobedient" (or at least, Napoleon himself claims that he isn't). He's simply capable of making his own choices no matter what his master may think. What the hell does he look like, a chained dog?
Anyway, thank you for the ask! ^^
Amora
An Assuming Ambivert Hamster with Amusing Amount of Amore to share
Yellow #F8EA8C (Heart)
Heath #4F1130 (Eyes)
Sea Pink #ED9FB0 (Body)
Mandys Pink #F1C5BA (Stripes and Face Pattern)
Mulberry #C7437B (Belly Pattern)
Psychology: Fails to learn from experience
Self-discipline: Quick to change interests, May be taken advantage of, Consistently Motivated
Lifestyle: Enthusiastic, Excitable
Social attitude: Friendly and Centre of attention
Honesty and honour: Sincere, Lives in the moment and Loves new experiences
Emotional capacity: Warm and Supportive
Current emotional state: Awed
Main trait: Expresses too much appreciation of someone or something, regardless of how cool or mundane it actually is. Easilly gets infatuated if anyone even interacts with her.
Sub trait: Not everything's gotta be about her. It's important that others could also experience the wonders of romance. That's why she got a shop full of romantic items and a love clinic for blind dates and matchmaking. In the circus, she does tarot reading in her tent stand and interprets the fate of her friends.
Similar characters/Inspirations: Lola Bunny (In the Looney Tunes show itteration), Pucca, Ebichu, Irving (Phineas and Ferb), Rosie (Thomas and Friends), Sierra (Total Drama Island), Amy (Sonic series)
Underlying issues: This behavior is similar to erotomania, which is a resolute and delusional belief by someone that another person is in love with them. Her try hard demeanor of showing affection could be problematic if applied in real life, regardless if the "target" acknowledges her or see the attention unwelcome.
Gags: Wears accesories/costumes similar to her "target" (may or may may not be the designer behind the Splendid cosplay worn by Toothy that haloween ep) ; Her gifts always cause direct harm to the receiver in one way or another ; says "Love ya too!" loudly ; love letters and tarot cards keeps switching usage might be misinterpreted as threat
Endings: At the end of every ep where she survives, it is shown that she is infatuated with another critter and switch targets ; On the other hand, is she dies, it's because of the action of her target, could be intentional or circumstantial
Common Deaths: Exploded (lol heart exploded for too much excitement), Crushed (ahaha get it?), Shocked (happens around DB and Handy), Suffocated (Ya really took my breath away), Sliced (either by her tarot cards or love letters)
Songs with same vibes: Paparazzi, You belong with me, Cheerleader, Lovefool
Meta plan: Mostly a visual background character. Barely a featuring character. She's to be used as part of the fangirls of anyone that is needed to be fangirl for.
(really need to reorganize my oc's doc files, maybe upload them all on HTF wiki one day? I don't get the coding stuff and kinda embarassed sharing this tho so maybe never xD)
"Oro? It's nice to meet you~. Hm? Who am I? Well... I'm just a young one-tailed Kitsune that likes to travel a lot~. It's good to meet you too, big sis/mister~."
Introduces himself as "Kogitsune" -- a simple and innocent young (Kitsune) boy, though he seems to know a lot more than he lets on.
He likes to travel a lot from place to place, and seemingly has no shame in acting cute. Hobbies apparently include frog-catching, playing pranks on others, and tree-climbing.
Seems to have a mysteriously close relation of sorts with the Oni and knows a lot about the Tengu despite his appearance and what he says, along with appearing to hold some level of authority within the Kitsune hierarchy.
... His real name is [Hokusai], but his original name is [Shosei]. His true identity is that of one of the [3 Calamities] -- the "Golden Plague".
….does anyone wanna hear me go on full info dump about some OCs? I have categories!
My Book OCs (several different options)
My Webcomic OCs (I want so bad but I CANT DRAW—)
And my PODCAST OCS, SOMEONE PLS ASK ME TO TALK ABOUT MY PODCAST IDEA/CHARACTERS—
The OC long post is here!!!!
Ok, to start this off, their story isn't completely worked out yet, but all of the important stuff is! Also, big thanks to @rowses and @thebearsthings for brainstorming with me!=DDD Also, they are the BIGGEST unreliable narrator, seeing as they barely remember their past, and have some perception vs reality issues. Im referring to my character as The Vampire(though they are not the only one) and the one who turned them and was their partner Their Lover. This is cause we dont know their names!! Also im referring to them both in gender neutral terms because The Vampire doesnt know much about Their Lover(nothing at all really) and they don't know that about themself(which ill get into later)
This will have talk of graphic violence and cuts/blood, and the vampirism is sort of a metaphor for sexual assault.
First and foremost, they are a vampire who travels as a bounty hunter. They get paid for killing the person, and that's how they feed. They are from the south, no particular time period, just before a time of internet. In being turned, they lost and forgot their entire identity, their name, gender, memories, and their lover, The reasons why will all be explained throughout. Bottom line, they're a mystery to themself.
Lets talk about the before, and how they got turned. For the years before, they were living in this beautiful Victorian home with their lover, that their lover "inherited" from distant relatives. In their mind, this relationship was perfect; soft touches, watching the sunset, kisses before a goodbye. (It was not, as a friend said "toxic yaoi (gender neutral)") Then, a kiss on the neck turned to teeth sunk deep. They started to feel drowsy, dizzy. (ill make a post about how i think vampires work if you want) They collapse to the floor as blood starts running down and their lover has betrayed them, after all this time. They almost jump to see if their lover is okay when they cut deep into their own wrist, but stops when the blood from that wrist is drained into their own mouth. They wake up in the dark, everything's too loud. They are covered in blood and alone. Alone in their own mind, too. As they walk around trying to figure out anything, they pick up notepads with dates written down and shorthand notes, little trinkets scattered around the house, a picture of them and their lover (?) but their faces are turned away. They run to find the closest mirror, but nobodies in it, nothings there. When they decide to leave the house, they stop in the pool of blood to see a ring sitting in the middle, the same on their lovers hand in the picture.
This is the only finished art I have of them rn->
This is right after they were bit, that's their lover in the mirror (not really there obviously). They wake up with bleached hair, but as time goes on they try to go to their natural colour in hopes of being themselves, but really get further always from their starting point. They do this with a lot of the "clues" they were given, they just take them so wrong and end up even more unhappy. They can't even look in a mirror to see them self, or get close enough to ask someone.
They figure out how being a vampire works, need to eat so they bounty hunt for money for places to stay in, the cowboy gettup of the south allows them to cover their skin in the harsh sun. They never stop moving, they just keep going and going. They usually take cases that might lead them to their lover. They just want to know. They need to know why they would turn them into this, why they would throw away their lives together, why they would leave, what were they like, what The Vampire was like. They can not and will never be able to know more about themself because they will always be looking outwardly and in the past. They mourn their old self and idolize them, want to be them. Their loss of self will never be gained back, for they will never think "but what do i wanna be called, what gender do i feel like, what hair do i want to have?" because they are too busy looking for clues of what they used to be, what theyre "supposed" to be. They look at themself from before as a cookie cutter they must fit into.
They will never be able to have a happy ending for this reason, they are a tragedy. They look for their lost lover in others, every relationship they get into ends on strange terms and each is wildly different. They are somewhere else, always kind of absent for these people. They try so hard to be normal, to find these relationships, but there's always an ever present "What if?" What if my lover liked this? What if I wore my hair like that? What if they also drank their coffee this way? What if x kind of person was my type? What if I dressed this way? They will always be dissatisfied, because in their story (not the aus ill probably make for character exploration:\) they never find their lover, they never find out what they used to be like, or any of their history outside of nightmares and deja vu.
They travel the land, hoping motel to motel, kill to kill, lover to lover, NEVER in relief, always under tension. They feel their past self hovering behind them guarding, watching, judging. The only thing pushing them forward is the hope that theyll one day find Their Lover. When times get tough, they look to that same ring that left a permanent bruise on them, being twirled between their fingers.
Gonna definitely add to this later, and PLEASE ask questions or comments or anything, they drive me up the walls!!!!!!!
I wish people cared about the things I care about because I just want to info dump but I can never find someone who will just let me info dump without either interrupting to say they don't care or give input when i don't want any
And if you think I can just ask for that, need I remind you that I Cannot