Im Selfish - Tumblr Posts

This is probably gonna sound really selfish, but whatever. So basically, my 1 year army anniversary is January 3rd and I was gonna order myself an army bomb and open it on the 3rd. I was planning on ordering it pretty earlier because of the holidays and the PTD concerts…. But they’re sold out ☹️. Idk how fast weverse restocks either, but I’m worried I’m not gonna get an army bomb on my anniversary. I guess it seems worrisome to me because (tw or sad reality or something) January 3rd is the only day I see in my future right now. My 19th birthday is in February, but I don’t see that at all. I’m really having a hard time and I wanted that to be a good day, ya know. January 3rd seems so far away and almost impossible to reach so to have something I’m waiting for, I thought it would help. Yeah if I make it that far I’m gonna celebrate what BTS has given me the past year, but idk. I’m just being selfish and pathetic though because there are people that can’t even get things shipped too them or don’t have the money too. I’m just spoiled and complaining.

Yes, i admit i am SELFISH.

I always think of what is best for me. I only care about issues i am involved with. I want everyone's attention on me! I want my family and friends to always notice me. I am SELFISH. Is that enough? Do you want to know why i am like this? Why i am so SELFISH? Well then why don't you start showing that you really actually love and cares for me... Why don't you try telling me i am important to you... Why don't you say you're proud of me... Why don't you stop expecting me to be the perfect?? Should i stop being SELFISH? Let me ask you something... When will you start recognizing my little sacrifices? When will you be honest to me? When will you tell me i am enough for you and you don't expect me to be the best? When am I going to gain self confidence? Or how am i going to believe in myself when i don't even feel my importance because of you... Am i asking for too much? Am i not allowed to be like this? Should i blame it all to myself? I don't think so. Why? Cause you made me be like this. Yes, i hafta blame it you too. I need you to know what i really feel. You will never know the real me unless you start understanding my feelings... I just want you to acknowledge me, to love me, to tell me you are proud of me... And to be honest with you, until now i still don't feel it. You still don't understand me. You still don't know the real me... Now, tell me again why i should stop being SELFISH...