Have I Been Writing Too Much FH Angst? - Tumblr Posts
Scott cursed himself for the one time he'd ever taken Jimmy's word for something.
He cursed Jimmy, too. He cursed that stupid fish for showing up, spouting some nonsense about cod blood and how he was safe around Scott.
(He cursed himself for believing anyone could be safe around him)
He cursed himself for letting Jimmy stay in Rivendell. He cursed himself for not noticing the way Jimmy always picked seats closest to the fires, the way he never went swimming.
He cursed himself for ignoring how Jimmy kept his hands closed, the webbing hidden against his palms.
He cursed himself for letting it get this far.
He sat on his bed, fighting the way his chest was constricting and his heart had dropped to his stomach.
He brushed ice out of Jimmy's hair, closing his eyes. He always thought that Jimmy, with his open eyes, looked dead when he slept- now he knew that he'd been wrong.
Finally, he got up and rang for a servant.
It hurt, deep in his gut, as soon as he did, he was accepting reality. He couldn't keep pretending the morning was like every other.
He looked back at where, just hours ago, his husband had been asleep. Now, there was only ice and empty flesh.
He closed his eyes, and didn't open them again until the servants and the corpse were gone.