Comfort Fic - Tumblr Posts

This is beautiful 😭

planning forever - myg

↳ summary-  you have special news to deliver to your husband, yoongi.  and you find your inspiration to do so in a unique way.

↳ rating- PG

↳ pairing- min yoongi x reader

↳ word count-

↳ genre- fluff, oh my god the fluff

↳ warnings- mentions of sex, some swearing, min yoongi is D A D D Y

↳ a/n- happy birthday to @carly-bean-blog​ ! my sweet angel who has been with me through nearly my entire blog life.  you’re so special to me!  myself, @chimoona​ and @sombreboy​ wanted to do something special for you.  together, we created your future ;).  we hope you enjoy your day, sweet peony!

“You forgot your lunch.”

The voice of your husband, Yoongi, chuckles lightly through the phone in an amused tone. 

“Shit,” you sigh, walking into work with arms packed full. Keys, your jacket, nametag, and an energy drink fumble in your grasp. 

“Good thing you’re married to the nicest man in the world,” he goads. You roll your eyes, but he’s right. Min Yoongi is simply the sweetest, most kind man you’ve ever met. It’s why you married him.

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Awwwww 🥺 this is beautiful and cute. My heart ache 😭

genre: fluff

member: yoongi

Head heavy, pain stabbing your back, your body feel tense. It has been hours that you are working at your work desk, fighting for the project you are struggling to finish. You want to stop but the deadline is nearing and you still have so much things that needed to be done. You do love your job but the workload is too much for you.

You were about to continue your work but halt when you hear someone knock on your door. You were annoyed that someone bothers you but a long and deep exhale like some sort of relief releases from your chest when you see yoongi, your beloved husband.

“hey, been calling you but you didn’t picked up my calls. i was worried that something might happened to you that i rushed back home”

You are guilt-ridden for making yoongi worried. Your head was too stuck with work that you forgot about anything else than work. Seeing yoongi make you feel at ease but at the same time you feel overwhelmed. Suddenly, your husband move towards you and stop in front of you. He cupped both of your cheeks gently while tilting your face up to make eye contact with you, wiping your tears away with his thumbs.

“dont worry, angel. I’m here. Come, let’s rest with me.”

Yoongi grab your wrists and gently pulling you up from your seat and guide you to bed. He went leaning against the headboard and let you straddles him. Then, you leaned your head on his chest, exhausted after attempting to finish the damn project.

All of the stress and headaches are gone as soon you hear your husband’s heart thumping. His heartbeats are like a lullaby to you. Beating ever so calm. It doesnt make sense to you because all heartbeats sounded the same but maybe it’s because the heartbeats belongs to yoongi. With his hand combing through your hair and lips pecking your head, your eyes felt heavy but you fight it because you want to be with him, consciously. You can feel his chest rumbled when he chuckled at you struggling to stay awake.

“sleep, baby. i wont go anywhere.”

But you shake your head in disapproval with your face nuzzling his chest. It is when yoongi need to use his secret tactic to make you fall asleep; braiding your hair. He grinned to himself because you never realised his tactic and it always works like a charm whenever you feel stressed.

Taking his time, he delicately braid your hair. At the same time, massaging your head in circular motion to ease the headaches. Yoongi has always like your hair. It feels smooth and silky whenever it runs through every nook and corner of his fingers. It is a pleasant feeling to him.

Nearing the end of your hair, he took a little peek at you and noticed that you have already sound asleep on his chest. He tidied up smoothly and tie your braid using his hair tie that has been always on his wrist. He gives one long press kiss on your head before following you to the dreamland.

a/n : aahh idk why but i feel so fluffy when i wrote this 🥺🤍

A Soft Touch

(Banner made by the incredible @btsstan12)

Yoongi always knows exactly what you need.

Yoongi x GN!Reader word count: 1156 genre: fluff, slice of life, established relationship, no pronouns are used warnings: none! pure fluff! tagging: @hamsterclaw @btsstan12 a/n: a belated birthday gift to my sweet sapling @persphonesorchid

You were exhausted. 

Working in retail was always a challenge but today had been particularly difficult and left you wanting nothing more than to get home and crawl into bed. Sleeping away your exhaustion never really helped things but you weren’t sure you had the energy to do anything else. 

It could be later you’s problem, current you couldn’t wait to faceplant into your mattress. 

You hadn’t made it all the way home when your phone buzzed with a text. Apprehensively you fished it out of your pocket, squeezing your eyes shut to brace yourself in case it was someone from work. When you cracked an eye open to look at the name of the sender your entire body relaxed. 

Fortunately, it was from your boyfriend.

Yoongi You home soon?  I started dinner but I don’t want it to get cold if you’re working late.

A soft smile spread across your face as you read the text. Yoongi was always good at checking in whenever you were running behind schedule and while it almost seemed like he was put out by your tardiness you knew he wanted to make sure the food was hot when you got home. He would also be waiting to eat with you because no matter what the two of you had going on, sharing meals was the thing you made sure to do together at least once a day.

You had missed out on breakfast because you’d been called in early and he hadn’t been able to visit you for lunch. Not that you’d been able to properly take a lunch, anyway. That meant dinner would be your quality time meal and Yoongi was cooking.

You loved when he cooked.

Your favorite takeout place couldn’t compare to a home cooked meal by Min Yoongi, secret chef extraordinaire. After the long day you had the thought invigorated you. Your boyfriend always seemed to know exactly what you needed, even when you didn’t tell him you were having a rough day. 

You  Almost! Be home in like 5 minutes? 

Once you’d shot him the reply, you pocketed the phone and quickened your pace to exit the subway station. Fortunately, the walk from the station to your shared apartment wasn’t a long one. In fact, the worst part was having to trek up the few flights of stairs until you got to your door. 

Unlocking it and stepping inside you feel every part of your relax, tension starting to seep from your tired body when you heard your boyfriend shuffling around in the kitchen. You couldn’t quite place the smell of the aroma wafting towards you, only that it was making your mouth water and your stomach grumble. Right, you’d barely eaten half of sandwich you brought for lunch because there was too much work to do. 

“Sweetheart?” Yoongi calls from the kitchen and you hurry to set your bag in its designated spot and switch your shoes for your house slippers. 

“Hey,” you breathe, pausing in the entryway to lean against the wall and admire how good your boyfriend looks when he cooks. 

His gaze drifts over to you, head tilting as a smile that shows both his teeth and gums lights up his face. Pausing in his chopping, he crosses the room until he’s standing right before you, drinking you in. You love it when he does this because it makes you feel beautiful even when you know that work has ruined any make up or effort you’ve put into your hair. 

It’s even sweeter when he leans down to kiss you languidly; his hand cupping your cheek after brushing hair behind your hair and his pinkie resting just beneath the curve of your jaw. The rings adorning his fingers are cool against your cheeks and you’re surprised at how soothing it feels. 

“Missed you,” you breathe when you sink back down to your heels, fingers smoothing out the wrinkles in his white t-shirt caused by the way found yourself gripping it. “What are you making? It smells so good.” 

Yoongi takes a moment to respond, busying himself with stroking your cheekbone with his thumb and taking in the weariness you weren’t able to shake from your face. “Kimchi jjigae,” he says, glancing back towards the counter with all the components he was in the middle of prepping. “Based on how little you messaged, I thought you needed something comforting after a long day.” 

Your heart swoons at his words. He always knows exactly what you need based on what you don’t say and you’re grateful to have a partner that gets you so easily. 

“I also ran a bath,” he says so casually, like he does it for you every day. 

You must perk up, eyes wide when you look at him because that gummy smile’s shifted into a smirk. “God, you’re amazing.” 

“It’s Yoongi but you can call me God if you want,” he teases. 

You make sure he can see the way you roll your eyes before you’re reaching up and sliding your hand into the dark locks he’s been growing out to pull him down for a kiss. His hands find your waist, spanning across your lower back and even partially over your ass. You love his hands and you love them even more when they’re on you. 

The kissing is nice and really, you want to do more, but Yoongi’s gently separating from you despite the pout that forms on your mouth. 

“The bath will get cold,” he says before you can protest. 

You wrinkle your nose and stick your tongue out at him before shuffling away from the kitchen and partially down the hallway. “Come join me?” 

Yoongi’s lips purse in contemplation with his thumb coming to press against the bottom one. Glancing over his shoulder at the partially assembled soup he seems to weigh his options. “I’ll have to pass this time sweetheart,” he settles on. 

When you pout at him, he kisses you. 

“Take a bath while I finish dinner,” he tells you. “Before bed I’ll give you a massage.” His smirk broadens, one brow arching slightly and the combination makes you swallow. 

Nibbling on your bottom lip you take a step back, “Mkay.” It’s easy to give in when you remember how tired you are and all of the things your boyfriend’s offering are tantalizing because they’re everything you could want after a hard day. 

You start to make your way down the hall pausing at the bathroom’s door before you call out to him one more time. 

“Dinner can always wait if you change your mind,” you call, enjoying the way his gaze seems to darken at the prospect before you slip into the room fully eager to strip and soak your stresses away in the bath your thoughtful boyfriend drew for you. 

Rough days don’t seem so rough when you’ve got a partner who takes care of you like Yoongi does. 

Aahhhh okay first ever reblog because I promised myself I'm gonna do it no matter how stupid I think my thoughts are because dammit ryen deserves this‼️

Goes without saying that it's another beautifully written masterpiece and ryen has outdone herself once again. The tension omg the biting my nails and to endure during both "supposed" confrontations (thank god bro didn't find out from an outward source I want reader and yoongi to tell him themselves)

Yoongi's pov was heart melting as always boy's such a simp loves her so much 😭😭😭😭😭

Absolutely loved how cheeky yoongs was in the rec centre with reader omg shirtless yoongi so so hot omg 🥵🥵🥵🥵 (lowkey wanted them to f**k on the bleachers 👀😂)

The ending tho ugh the cliffhanger return of the dalo douche I'm ready to throw hands istg reader baby get behind me😤

Ryen, thank you so much for all the time and effort you put into 3tan every time. No one works as hard as you do. Idk how to write beautiful words like you but I'm just so so grateful for you and 3tan it's such a source of comfort and boy do I need some comfort these days so thankyou once again love you 3000 🍊🍊🍊💜💜💜

broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg

title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i’ve had time to make it something i’m proud of. trying to rush everything out didn’t do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i’m sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: …19.1k 🚶‍♀️

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Words abandon you.

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you have no idea- how many times i’ve tried to gather my thoughts around this… i already read this hundreds of times because it deserves all of my attention and love ✨

the way i not only cried my eyes out, but the way i was screaming and literally dying when he kissed her– like i think it’s the first time i cried this hard over something i read lol 🥺

and i NEED to put my favorite moments in here so i can read it and again and again. i’ll never get tired of this fic, i think it’s my all time favorite tbh, i- i can’t even explain, and i’m so sorry for being so dramatic and emotional but you have no idea how much comfort this gives me 💖

‘’When you started to hangout with Steve more and asked him to go with you to see Bruce, I got jealous. I know you and Steve were friends way before I got to the compound and I don’t own you, you can be friends with whoever and hangout with whoever but… You’re my girl, y’know? I got scared you didn’t want to hangout with me anymore so I pushed you away. It’s no excuse, it doesn’t make it right. I know it was wrong, on so many levels, but I’m still messed up, baby. I’m sorry I pushed you away and I hurt you, I swear it was just a defense mechanism and I didn’t do it on purpose to hurt you.’’

“you’re my girl, y’know?” OH MY GODDD

Bucky can’t fall asleep, no matter how comfortable he is or how long he keeps his eyes closed. It’s just not happening and he knows he can’t go to you because you asked him to give you time and he will respect your decision, even if he craves your touch so much it’s physically hurting him.

He shakes his head. ‘’Not at all. I still can’t sleep without you.’’ He confesses.

His need to feel you against him is almost feral and his hands are twitching from how hard he was trying to keep them to himself.

ughhhh bucky my babieee, i need someone to hold me rn i can’t 🥺🥺🥺

Bucky leans down as he holds you into place. He presses his lips against yours, finally kissing you. He pours his whole heart into this kiss, trying to make you feel everything he won’t have time to say to you before he’s gone. He makes mental notes of how soft your lips were against his, just like he had imagined they would be. How your lips tasted like salt because of both of your tears, how you held onto his shirt like somehow it would be enough to keep him with you but most of all he hopes he’ll remember how loved he felt in this moment.

NONONO DONT MIND ME CRYING, GOD I CANT ITS TO MUCHHH

‘’I love you so much, baby.’’ He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears on your cheeks. ‘’I’m sorry I waited until it was too late to tell you.’’ He smiles sadly.

i. can’t. it.is. so. beautiful.

my life is meaningless now, i don’t see myself existing once this is over. so sorry for the spam, you deserve to know the impact your work has on me, ilysm, thank u thank u for this 😭💖

ᴍɪꜱꜱɪɴɢ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇ

Part Fourteen

Summary: Bucky finally gets a chance to talk to you but will you have enough time to fix everything before it's too late?

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: Weapons, fluff, angst (Do I even still need to warn you at this point? There's always angst with me.)

Notes at the end.

» Previous Part »ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ

‘’Can we talk?’’

You look into Bucky’s room and nod, walking inside. You look at him, unsure of where you should sit. Bucky quickly sits up and pats the space in front of him.

‘’Sit down.’’ He smiles at you. ‘’Please.’’

You sit on his bed and clear your throat. ‘’What did you want to talk about?’’

‘’Us.’’ He reaches over to you and takes your hand in his, gently caressing the back of your hand with his thumb. ‘’I miss you.’’ He says softly.

He looks down at your hands too scared to look into your eyes. You sigh and pull your hand away from his.

‘’Bucky. You can’t just use me as your teddy bear, then push me aside until you feel like you need me again.’’

‘’That’s not what I was doing, I swear.’’ He looks up, directly into your eyes; feeling guilty for making you feel this way. ‘’I’ve been away from people for so long, sometimes I have a hard time dealing with my emotions and talking about how I feel. I’m more used to just pushing people away and shutting down. I’ve been trying really hard to stop doing that but sometimes I still struggle.’’ He bites his lower lip. ‘’And I have all those stupid insecurities about Steve that go all the way back to the 30s that just came rushing back and I handled it like an asshole. I’m sorry.’’

Your brow raises as your confusion shows on your face. ‘’Insecurities about Steve? What insecurities?’’

He lets his head fall backwards, looking at the ceiling. ‘’It’s embarrassing.’’ He groans.

He takes a deep breath and brings his head back to face you but he avoids looking directly in your eyes, too ashamed.

‘’When we were young… Steve and I were always together and people tended to prefer him over me. Except for the girls but for the things that truly mattered Steve was the favorite, I was always the second choice and that was before he was Captain freakin’ America and I was the Winter Soldier and got this.’’ He raises his left arm and lowers it again. ‘’Now even the girls choose him over me.’’

He laughs sadly and rubs his hands over his face as if he was trying to find the courage to say what he really wanted to tell you. He runs his fingers into his hair, pushing it back and away from his face and finally looks into your eyes.

‘’When you started to hangout with Steve more and asked him to go with you to see Bruce, I got jealous. I know you and Steve were friends way before I got to the compound and I don’t own you, you can be friends with whoever and hangout with whoever but… You’re my girl, y’know? I got scared you didn’t want to hangout with me anymore so I pushed you away. It’s no excuse, it doesn’t make it right. I know it was wrong, on so many levels, but I’m still messed up, baby. I’m sorry I pushed you away and I hurt you, I swear it was just a defense mechanism and I didn’t do it on purpose to hurt you.’’

You feel bad for Bucky. You know what he’s saying is the truth, everyone has their insecurities but not everyone is best friends with America’s golden boy while also being one of the deadliest ex-assassins in history.

‘’You should have told me all of this, Bucky. I would have understood, and it would have hurt a lot less. I have said it before and I will say it again because it’s the truth. You aren’t the Winter Soldier and what he did isn’t on you. It’s on all those jackasses who thought it was ok to brainwash someone until they weren’t able to think for themselves or act of their own freewill. I would never just leave you one day and not say anything. I care way too much about you to do something like that to you. Steve was my friend first, that is true. He’s like my big, much much older brother and you well… It’s different with you.’’

You want to tell him about how you truly feel about him but confessing your love for him while being on the run and stuck in a safe house alone together would make things extremely awkward if he rejects you.

He wouldn’t, but you didn’t know that.

Bucky knows exactly what you mean when you say it’s different with him because you love him but he was going to wait as long as it takes to hear it from you, and not from Steve or Sam.

‘’It is different with us. Do you think you can forgive me?’’

You sigh softly. ‘’Of course I forgive you.’’

He grins. ‘’You do? You really do?’’

‘’Yes.’’ You smile.

‘’Does that mean you’ll start sleeping with me again?’’

The hope in his voice makes you feel horrible for what you’re about to say.

‘’Not tonight, ok? Just- Just give me some time, please.’’

His smile disappears almost as fast as it had appeared. ‘’It’s ok, I get it.’’

He leans forwards to gently kiss your cheek and leans back. ‘’Thank you.’’

You reach over to him and squeeze his hand gently and stand up. ‘’Goodnight, Bucky.’’

He watches you walk out. ‘’Goodnight, baby.’’

You climb into your bed and under the covers, feeling horrible. Bucky put everything on the table and gave you a chance to do the same but you chickened out. He told you about his insecurities and the least you could have done is to tell him how you really feel, but you were too scared.

You both leave your bedroom doors open, the light coming from the hallway allows you to see in each other’s room, just enough to make you feel safe.

To no one’s surprise, you aren’t able to fall asleep. Your body feels even more restless as it knows that the one person who could make you feel at peace was a few feet away and you are voluntarily keeping yourself away from him. You get annoyed with yourself with each hour that passes where you don’t sleep.

It’s been almost 3 hours now and you have reached your limit.

You grab the covers and throw them away from your body. You didn’t realize how warm it was in your bed until you were standing next to your bed in your shorts and tank top, shivering. You walk slowly and silently to Bucky’s bedroom, if he was asleep you didn’t want to wake him up.

You stand in the doorway and look at his figure on the bed. He’s laying in the middle of the bed, taking most of the space and his eyes are closed. Of course he would be asleep, it’s the middle of the night and you told him you weren’t going to sleep with him. You don’t know why you were surprised. You had a chance and you threw it away. You slowly turn around to make your way back to your bed.

Bucky can’t fall asleep, no matter how comfortable he is or how long he keeps his eyes closed. It’s just not happening and he knows he can’t go to you because you asked him to give you time and he will respect your decision, even if he craves your touch so much it’s physically hurting him.

Even with his eyes closed, he can see that his room got darker. Like something was blocking the light coming from the hallway. It can’t be… but what if it is? He opens his eyes just in time to see you turn around to leave. He sits up.

‘’Baby? Are you ok?’’

You quickly turn around. ‘’I thought you were sleeping, I’m sorry if I woke you up.’’

He shakes his head. ‘’Not at all. I still can’t sleep without you.’’ He confesses.

You bite your lower lip.’’Me either…’’ You admit, barely above a whisper but Bucky hears it clear as day. ‘’Does your offer still stand…?’’ You ask shyly, pointing at his bed.

He feels his heart racing in his chest when his brain finally comprehends what you’re asking him. ‘’Hell yes, get in here.’’

Thankfully for you, the sound of his own heart pounding in his chest was so loud in his ears that it covered up the sound of your heart doing just the same. It was a strange mix of hesitation, doubt and excitement. You didn’t need to be told twice, you quickly walked to the side of his bed.

‘’Close the door, please.’’

You are in his room now, he doesn’t need the door to be opened. You go back and close the door, plunging the entire room in darkness. There isn’t a single source of light and you can’t see your own hand in front of your body.

Bucky waits for you to climb in but he doesn’t hear you move. ‘’Are you still there?’’

‘’Yes.’’ You chuckle. ‘’I just need to let my eyes adjust to the dark, I can’t see anything and I don’t know this room. I don’t want to break a toe by hitting a piece of furniture.’’

He laughs. ‘’That would suck. Just walk in a straight line and I’ll tell you when to stop.’’

You frown.

‘’I can see in the dark… Y’know, bein’ a super soldier and all.’’

‘’Oooh. Right. Duh.’’ You roll your eyes.

You walk slowly in a straight line, or what you hope is a straight line and stop when Bucky tells you to. You were finally close enough to see the bed and quickly climbed on the mattress and under the covers.

His need to feel you against him is almost feral and his hands are twitching from how hard he was trying to keep them to himself.

He watches as you lie on your side, facing him and he does the same. He lifts his hand up and pushes a strand of your hair back to tuck it behind your ear. He strokes your cheek with his knuckles before pulling his hand away. He can’t stop himself and looks at you, his eyes smiling at you just as much as his lips were. The ache that had been crushing his chest since the last time you had slept in his bed is finally disappearing and he feels like he can breathe again.

You are laying face to face but aren’t touching each other, and though it was comforting to be in the same bed it was weird to be this close and yet so far at the same time.

‘’Can you come closer?’’ Bucky asks you shyly.

You wiggle a little closer, you weren’t even sure if it was enough to be noticeable. ‘’Like this?’’

Bucky laughs softly. ‘’Closer.’’

You move, just a little. ‘’How about now?’’

You look at him innocently but he knows damn well you’re teasing him.

‘’That’s how you want to play it, uh?’’ He raises a brow defiantly.

‘’I don’t know what you’re talking about.’’ You quickly bite your lower lip to try and hide the smile that’s threatening to form.

‘’Fine.’’ He huffs, pretending to be annoyed. ‘’I’m done asking nicely.’’

He doesn’t give you time to speak as he grabs your waist and brings you to his chest. You let out a little squeak, surprised. He holds you flush to his chest and looks down in your eyes, his smile somehow bigger than it was a minute ago.

If he had to explain how he felt in this moment, he doesn’t think he’d be able to. This is the first time he’s had you this close to him in almost two weeks but it’s also the first time since he realized how madly in love with you he is. He feels his entire body tingling, the same tingling he’d feel when he’d get out of cryo, the first sign of his body thawing. You brought him back to life, as dramatic as it sounds that’s the best way he could describe how he feels.

Your breath catches a little in your throat but it seems like he was too deep into his own thoughts to notice, which you were grateful for as it would have been embarrassing.

You move your arm, going under his and once you manage to sneak under the mountains of muscles he calls biceps, you let your hand rest against the middle of his back. You feel him shiver at your touch and it seems to bring him out of his thoughts. He tightens the grip he has on you which brings you a smidge closer to his body, not that there was any more space between your bodies. He rests his forehead against yours and stares directly into your eyes. now being the one to cause you to shiver.

‘’Hi.’’ He whispers.

‘’Hi.’’ You answer with a whisper.

‘’I missed you.’’ He moves his hand up and down your back.

‘’I missed you, too.’’

‘’Let’s not fight ever again, ok?’’

You chuckle. ‘’Ok.’’

‘’I’m serious.’’ His hand leaves your back and suddenly appears between the two of you. He holds out his pinky and gives it a quick nod, making you look down. ‘’Pinky promise.’’

Your own hand leaves the comfort of his back to join his hand between your bodies. You wrap your pinky around his finger.

‘’Promise to never fight again.’’

You can’t help but smile at how serious he was being. ‘’I promise to never fight with you ever again.’’

‘’IF we fight, and that’s a big if, we have to make up before we go to bed. No one goes to sleep angry, sad or hurt.’’ He adds.

‘’No one goes to sleep angry, sad or hurt.’’ You repeat.

He smiles. ‘’Now you have to kiss it.’’

You roll your eyes playfully but you still bring your hands to your lips and kiss your own hand. He quickly does the same thing with his and grins.

‘’You’re such a dork.’’ You tell him, laughing.

‘’One of my many, many qualities.’’ He winks at you.

You throw your head back, laughing. Somehow he manages to be dorkier by the second.

Bucky takes advantage of the easy access he has to your neck and quickly nuzzles his face against the crook of your neck, shamelessly breathing you in. You try not to hit him as you lower your head and smile at the sudden outburst of affection.

‘’Comfy down there?’’ You tease as you bring your hand up to his head to play with his loose hair.

‘’You have no idea.’’

You smile at how honest he was being. Your eyes flutter shut and you yawn, as if your body recognized Bucky and decided that it was finally ok for you to sleep again.

‘’We should probably try to sleep a few hours.’’

You nod slightly. ‘’Yes.’’

‘’Good night, baby.’’ He places a few gentle kisses on your shoulder.

‘’Good night, Jamie.’’

Bucky feels his heart skip a few beats when he hears you call him Jamie, no more Bucky and he’s never been more relieved to hear his first name. He usually hates when people call him anything that isn’t Bucky or Buck but with you it’s the complete opposite. You only call him Bucky when you are either very mad, when you are being serious and you want him to listen or when you talk about him to someone else. Jamie means that he has his girl back. Finally. This time he’s never letting you go, he’ll make sure of that.

He is so excited and happy that for a few minutes he completely forgets where you are and why you are there, for a few minutes you are back in his room, in his bed, in your little bubble where it’s just the two of you and he feels like he’s untouchable. That’s how he imagines the two of you as he falls asleep with his head buried in your neck, while you had fallen asleep several minutes ago almost instantly after saying good night.

You spend the remainder of the night in this exact position, neither of you moved nor did you wake up. It was the first time since before you had left for your mission with Steve and Nat that you were able to sleep without being woken up or without being unable to sleep at all.

Bucky’s room was peaceful. The blinds were the kind that don’t let the light come in, but more importantly it kept the light in, which was an important feature for a safe house and kept the sun from coming in and waking you up. The only sounds that could be heard were you and Bucky breathing.

Unfortunately, this peaceful moment was interrupted by an alarm blaring through the house, waking you up in a second. You sit up quickly, your heart pounding in your chest. You turn around to grab your gun from your nightstand, except this isn’t your room and you left your gun across the hall.

Bucky gets up and goes through his bag, getting two guns out. He makes sure they are both loaded and that the safety is on and then tosses you one that you easily catch. You take a second to tie up your hair and walk over to Bucky’s bedroom door. You look down at your clothes and mentally curse at yourself for choosing to wear these to bed. Silently hoping you won’t have to fight anyone in your pjs.

You put your hand on the doorknob and look at Bucky. He raises his gun, takes off the safety and places his finger close to the trigger, he nods to let you know he’s ready.

You open the door slowly and just enough to be able to look at what’s going on outside, once you’re sure it’s safe, you open it completely and raise your gun; doing the exact same thing Bucky did with his. You walk around, checking the bathroom and your own room before moving to the kitchen and living room. There’s no one in sight and it doesn’t seem like someone tried to break in. You walk over to the computer that controls the security system and type in your code, shutting the alarm off. You sigh in relief, welcoming the sudden silence.

‘’What happened?’’ Bucky asks, keeping an eye out on your surroundings just in case.

‘’I don’t know, hold on.’’ You go through the different systems in the computer and see a message that was sent directly into the system, hence why there was an alarm.

You read the message over and stand up, grabbing Bucky’s arm.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ He looks at you, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.

You point to the message on the screen.

Safe house compromised, get out now. Ears everywhere.

Meet me at the following address.

Make sure you are not followed.

You read the message again. It was sent by Fury, so you know it’s serious.

‘’Come on, baby. We have to go.’’

He pulls you out of your thoughts and you finally start moving again. You both rush to your rooms and pack the few things you had taken out, you change into more appropriate clothes and strap your different holsters to your legs. You hadn’t put them on yesterday, in case you needed to blend in but now Bucky was in immediate danger and you wanted to be ready for anything. You take your knife and slide it into place, doing the same thing with one of your guns then tuck one behind your back in your waistband, covering it with your shirt and jacket.

‘’Ready?’’ Bucky asks from your doorway, bag in one hand and gun in the other.

‘’Yes, let’s go.’’ You grab your bag and your car keys and walk to the garage, down the steps and to the car. You toss your bag in the back.

‘’Want me to drive?’’ Bucky offers, tossing his bag next to yours. He slides his gun into his own thigh holster and looks back at you.

You shake your head no. ‘’I’m good.’’

‘’You sure?’’

‘’I promise.’’

That’s good enough for him and he sits in the passenger seat, not forgetting to put on his seatbelt this time. You sit behind the wheel and you start the car while putting on your seatbelt. You put the car in reverse and take the remote that opens the garage door. Your thumb hovering over the button hesitantly, you were scared of what might be waiting for you on the other side. What if you saw the message too late and whoever is after Bucky is just waiting for you to come out?

Bucky notices your hesitation and reaches over to you, he puts his hand on your thigh and squeezes it gently.

‘’It’s ok. We’ll be ok. Neither of us can die, right? We got this.’’

Technically, it wasn’t true. Bucky could die, just not as easily as a normal person would and not from natural causes but it wasn’t the time to correct him, though your nerves were slowly getting to you and you almost let it slip out.

You take a deep breath and push the button. You wait until the door is opened enough to fit the car and you get the two of you out of there.

The further you get from the safe house, the easier it is for you to breathe. You aren’t usually this much on edge but the lack of sleep is starting to get to you, not to mention the fact that you were woken up by an alarm that could wake the dead. Not the best way to start your day.

You went down the same back roads from yesterday, thinking it was your safest bet. There weren’t a lot of buildings but a lot of open spaces that would make it easy for you to see if someone was coming from either direction.

You had been so busy focusing on the road and making sure that no one was following you that you hadn’t noticed that Bucky’s hand was still on your thigh, just above your knee. Once you notice that it’s there, you start to feel how warm his hand is through your jeans and it oddly helps to calm you down.

‘’We’re almost there.’’ You tell him, breaking the silence after 30 minutes.

You actually just passed it but you really want to make sure no one is following you so you go back and forth on the streets around you.

Only when you are sure that you’re safe, you finally allow yourself to relax completely and turn around to go to the address Fury had sent.

As you get closer, you get this feeling that something is wrong. Your alarms go off inside, something definitely isn’t right but you can’t tell what it is.

Bucky glances at you from the corner of his eye and sees that something is bothering you but he doesn’t say anything.

You finally arrive at an abandoned warehouse. You slow down and drive inside through the giant gap where, you guess, had once been a door. You park the car out of sight and turn off the engine. Bucky takes off his seatbelt and puts his hand on the door handle but you stop him by putting your hand on his forearm.

‘’Something’s not right.’’ You chew on your bottom lip, your mind racing with thoughts.

‘’What is it?’’ He lets go of the door and turns to face you.

‘’Why would Fury have access to Tony’s safehouses? They aren’t a part of the Avengers program, he’s the one who decided to have them to make sure everyone could have somewhere to go in case something went wrong.’’

You look up at Bucky. ‘’How would he know where we are when even Steve and Tony don’t know? How could he know that the safehouse is compromised if the only alarm that went off was the message he sent? Why wasn’t Tony the one to contact us? or Steve? Especially after Tony kicked him out and told him we aren’t his to supervise.’’

All the pieces finally fall into place and your eyes widen.

‘’Bucky! I’m so fucking stupid.’’ You start looking around. ‘’I just made us leave the safehouse and drove us right into a trap.’’

‘’Don’t say that you’re stupid, you are from it and you didn’t make us do anything, we both agreed that we needed to get out. This isn’t on you.’’

Your heart is racing in your chest. ‘’We need to get out of here.’’

Just as the words left your mouth, you heard a loud ‘’clang’’. You turned around to look through the back window, you were right to think the gap you had come through was a door. It still was, and now it was shut.

‘’Fuck.’’

‘’Hey.’’ Bucky grabs you by the chin to make you look at him. ‘’We are getting out of here, in one piece. Together. Ok?’’

You nod and he pulls you closer, kissing your forehead. He lets go of you and takes out his gun. ‘’We can’t stay in here, we gotta move.’’

You take the gun from your holster and take a deep breath. ‘’You stay behind me, ok? I’ll take the hits.’’

‘’I won’t have to, baby.’’ He smiles reassuringly at you and swings the door open, quickly getting out.

You follow him a second later, both of your guns pointed in the air and your eyes looking around you, never focusing on one spot for too long.

The warehouse was almost completely empty, there wasn’t even a second story. There aren’t many places to hide which is both an advantage and a disadvantage for you.

‘’Do you see something?’’ You ask Bucky.

‘’No. You?’’

‘’Me neither. He has to be in here somewhere.’’ Your jaw clenches.

You aren’t a fan of horror movies and thrillers for this exact reason, waiting for something to come out of the shadows when you know it’s there but you don’t know when it’s going to happen.

‘’I see you got my message. Nice of you to show up.’’

The voice was loud, so loud that it echoed and bounced against the metal walls, making it impossible for you and Bucky to pinpoint from where exactly it was coming. The man has a strong accent but you can’t tell what language he normally speaks.

‘’You can lower your weapons, I’m unarmed.’’

You laugh bitterly. ‘’Yeah, that’s not happening.’’

‘’Trust issues, darling?’’

You cringe at the nickname but play along. ‘’Our relationship did start with you pretending to be two different men, darling. I’m sure you understand.’’

Bucky quickly catches on what you were doing, trying to keep him talking so he’d give up his position.

‘’You found yourself a feisty one, Sergeant.’’

Bucky smirks. ‘’Sure did. Wait until she kicks your ass, then you’ll see just how feisty she is.’’

The man laughs, a genuine amused laugh and it sends shivers down your spine. He’s a little too confident for your taste, that can’t be a good sign.

‘’Where the fuck is he?’’ You whisper through gritted teeth, your jaw still clenched.

You and Bucky slowly walk into different directions, trying to find where the voice is coming from.

‘’I’m sorry, agent, but I’m going to have to borrow your partner. Well, it’s not really borrowing because he won’t be coming back.’’

You tighten your grip around your gun. ‘’I’d like to see you try.’’

You know you probably shouldn’t enable him but it’s like he knows exactly which buttons to push to get a reaction out of you.

‘’I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy task, but thankfully after a little bit of research I found a little book that’s going to do most of the work for me.’’

Bucky freezes into place, suddenly forgetting how to swallow or breathe. It couldn’t be the book. SHIELD had told him that the book had been destroyed when they captured most of the HYDRA team that had tortured him.

‘’Sergeant Barnes, you might want to say your goodbyes now.’’

Bucky had been so confident since the moment you left this morning, he had managed to convince you you were going to be ok but after the man mentioned the book, you felt something shift around you. Bucky’s confidence was gone and that terrifies you more than anything else.

‘’Soldat?’’

You heard Bucky rushing towards you, gripping you by the arm once he was close enough. He pulls on your arm and turns you around.

‘’You gotta get out of here. NOW.’’

‘’If I’m leaving, then you’re leaving with me.’’

Bucky’s eyes fill up with tears only adding to how panicked you are feeling.

‘’Bucky… You’re scaring me.’’

Bucky doesn’t answer you, but the man does. Not directly, but the moment you heard him say something in Russian you understood what was about to happen. The book, Bucky being scared and now this. Soldat. He was triggering the Winter Soldier.

‘’We have to get you out of here, if we get far en-’’

The second trigger echoes through the warehouse around you.

‘’We don’t have time.’’ Bucky puts the safety back on his gun and places it in your holster.

‘’Jamie…’’ You beg him, of what? You aren’t sure.

He shakes his head and places his hands on either side of your face, his fingers resting on your cheeks. He looks at you and tries to smile reassuringly at you. Failing miserably.

You lower your hand that’s holding your gun and put your free hand on his chest, gripping his shirt.

Bucky leans down as he holds you into place. He presses his lips against yours, finally kissing you. He pours his whole heart into this kiss, trying to make you feel everything he won’t have time to say to you before he’s gone. He makes mental notes of how soft your lips were against his, just like he had imagined they would be. How your lips tasted like salt because of both of your tears, how you held onto his shirt like somehow it would be enough to keep him with you but most of all he hopes he’ll remember how loved he felt in this moment.

The third trigger resonates around you and Bucky pulls away.

‘’I love you so much, baby.’’ He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears on your cheeks. ‘’I’m sorry I waited until it was too late to tell you.’’ He smiles sadly.

‘’Now, go. Run.’’ He steps back, slowly letting go of your face and you’ll forever remember the look of love and pain in his eyes.

‘’I’m not leaving.’’

The fourth trigger is said.

‘’You have to. Soon I won’t be Bucky anymore. I might never be again. I want you as far away as possible from the Winter Soldier.’’

The fifth trigger comes and Bucky slowly starts to feel himself go numb.

‘’I-’’ You hesitate. You want to stay but if the winter soldier tries to kill you, it might end up killing Bucky.

The sixth trigger.

You can see in his eyes slowly being drained from any emotion. You can’t leave him. You can’t let him go through this alone. It’s the one thing he was terrified might happen again. You were determined to do everything that you could for him, and that meant staying.

‘’I’ll bring you back.’’ You say quickly before he can’t hear you anymore.

Bucky looks at you confused, his mind starts to wander.

‘’I’ll bring you back. You’re strong, stronger than you were before. I know you can fight your way back to the surface and I’ll bring you back. I’m not going anywhere.’’

You see a little bit of hope spark in his eyes and it almost makes you smile.

The seventh trigger quickly erases it.

Then the eighth trigger and ninth.

‘’Jamie, I lov-’’

Tenth.

‘’Soldat?’’

Bucky looks into your eyes but there’s nothing in his. They are completely devoid of any emotion. They look dead, haunting and it makes your blood run cold.

You instinctively take a few steps back.

‘’Я готов отвечить’’

Bucky’s voice is usually filled with warmth and playfulness, it always comforts you but the voice that comes out of his body is completely emotionless and it sends shivers down your spine, and that’s when you truly know that Bucky’s gone.

The fear that runs through your veins keeps tears from falling, finally able to stop crying.

The man comes out of the shadows but your eyes are glued on Bucky. He comes to stand behind him and tells him something in Russian, by the tone you could tell it was some kind of order or command.

The man stops talking and you see the Winter Soldier come to life in front of your eyes and with the way he was looking at you, you could easily guess what his orders were.

‘’Report to me when you’re done here.’’

You try to see where the man exits but you are too scared to take your eyes off of Bucky.

He moves to grab the knife from his thigh holster but his fingers close around nothing. He stares directly into your eyes as he pats himself down, trying to find a weapon but there isn’t any. You can’t stop yourself from smiling. Of course Bucky got rid of all his weapons, that’s why he had placed his gun in your holster even though you already had two.

Bucky’s eyes travel down your body, recognizing his own weapons on you.

Your smile quickly disappears as Bucky walks menacingly towards you.

‘’Shit.’’

You guys have no idea how nervous I was to post this chapter, still am. I know you've been waiting for it for a long time, both the new chapter and the kiss and they are finally here. Not gonna lie, I'm scared to see what y'all are gonna have to say about this. I hope you liked it and that it wasn't too much of a let down!

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so- here i am- and i hope you are ready for this cause i don’t even have the words to express the bomb of emotions i’m having right now <3

but before i start telling you all MY FAVORITE PARTS i really want to say THANK YOU💗 for this, this masterpiece, i’m so in love with it, every part, every word of it. it’s really is so incredibly beautiful. and as i said the last time, now that it’s over (kinda cause you have no idea how excited i am for the bonus chapters) i have no idea what to do with myself, i feel like a good part of my heart left with this story, and tbh i’m happy it did ✨ but now let’s move on to me being a complete fangirl of this amazing, spectacular and beautiful final part –i think i’m going to drive you insane with everything i’m about to say but we both now i can’t help it– so here i go!

‘’Bucky, please come back. Please.’’ You beg as panic rises through you, your voice is strained from the pressure on your throat.

You see something flicker in his eyes, it was so quick you thought you had imagined it but he finally lets go of you, letting you fall to the ground.

i’m telling you i panicked when she got hurt, i don’t think i’ve ever been more nervous in my life than i was in this part 😭😭 and when she wakes up and even tho she’s all messed up she only cares about him OMG 😭😭😫

‘’I know, but that’s not where we’ll find her. Trust me.’’ He nods for her to follow him and the next time they stop it’s in front of Bucky’s bedroom door.

OF COURSE SHES THEREEE I MEAN 😭😭

‘’The last thing I said to him is that I was going to bring him back. He was ordered to kill me and yet I’m still breathing. Bucky’s still in there, I know he is. I can do this.’’

and then this i just- i can’t 🥺

‘’Jamie.’’ You say softly, not looking away. ‘’Don’t let him win.’’

‘’You need to listen to me. You are not the Winter Soldier. You’re James Buchanan Barnes. You’re Bucky. Buck. You’re my Jamie. You’re Steve Rogers’ best friend and you’re my best friend too. You’re Sergeant Barnes, a soon to be Avengers. You’re an amazing person. You don’t hurt people, you save them.’’

‘’You know me.’’ You pull away from the car and take a few steps towards him. I’m your baby doll, remember? Your baby.’’ You take another step forward. ‘’I need you to come home now. Remember when you made me pinky promise that we would never go to bed angry, sad or hurt? If you don’t come back you’re going to break that promise, and you don’t break a pinky promise.’’

He looks at you with wide eyes, completely frozen. His heart is beating so fast, he doesn’t even know what’s happening to him. His breathing becomes shallow, he has trouble getting air into his lungs.

“i’m your baby doll, remember? your baby.” GOD he has no idea, i need to hold him, NO, YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME 😭😭

He closes his eyes and starts breathing the way you showed him. You let go of his hand on your chest and cupped his cheek, gently stroking it. His eyes opened suddenly and what you saw in them made you shiver, tears blurring your vision. Your breath caught in your throat, almost making it impossible to speak.

His eyes are filled with emotions, you could almost see everything that he was thinking which could only mean one thing.

‘’Jamie.’’ You whisper, barely audible.

His focus turns to you at the sound of your voice, like he hadn’t noticed you were there until you spoke.

‘’Baby.’’ He says softly and wraps his arms around your waist. ‘’My baby.’’

I THINK I JUST DIED I HONESTLY- MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS, ITS TOO MUCH BUT I- OH GOD IM CRYING SO HARD 😭😭😭

‘’You brought me back. You actually did it.’’ He mumbles against the skin of your neck, eyes closed, trying to keep the tears from pouring down his cheeks. ‘’You stayed. You’re still here.’’

OF COURSE BUCKY BABY, IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, LET ME JUST HOLD YOU FOREVER PLEASE 😭😭😭💓

Bucky wants to stay away from you, he needs to stay away and protect you but why does staying away feel so wrong? Everything in him screams to hold you and never let go again.

they need to stay together, they need each other, don’t push her away baby 😭😭😭😭

He pulls you away from him and makes you look at him. ‘’Bullshit. I wanted to leave, maybe even more than you did. I fell for the trap too, and at least you realized what was happening. I just stood there and did nothing. That asshole would have gotten to me at some point. None of it had anything to do with you. You did everything that you could and you brought me back. If it weren’t for you, who knows how many people I would have hurt. You kept me safe, now it’s my turn.’’

one of the many things i love about this is their urge to keep each other safe, their NEED to do it so they could FEEL SAFE, i strongly love the connection this two have, cause they know how the other one feel, with the anxiety and all, i think is just beautiful (i hope i made myself clear, am literally a mess rn 🥺🥺)

Bruce shakes his head. ‘’No. Her need to protect you was so strong that her brain never released the hormones. She knew that if you tried to hurt her, you’d be the one who’d get hurt. Worst even, if you had lost control completely and had tried to kill her instead of just knocking her out.’’

THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT YOU SEE? god she did that FOR HIM LORDDD 😭😭😭

Bucky takes in a shaky breath and pushes the palm of his hands on his eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling. He can’t remember the last time he cried this much.

by now i was crying so hard i needed to stop for a second lol 😭🥺

‘’I understand why you want to stay away from her, but she’s a lot safer with you than you think she is. She might have gotten hurt, but even in your brain-washed state you were protecting her and keeping her safe.’’

Bucky sits in a corner and watches as everyone works. His mind racing with a million thoughts. He can’t believe that you let yourself get hurt because you didn’t want him to get hurt. He’s mad at you, furious even while also being in awe of how much you love him and care for him.

HOW THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IVE HAD THE PLEASURE TO READ, I LOVE THEM 💗

Bucky sits up in his chair and watches you. He had woken up next to you more than enough times to recognize the little signs that you were just about to open your eyes.

“and all those little things” that was i could think about, this is so sweet 😭😭

Bucky brushes his thumb against your bottom lip and leans back in, this time kissing you. You smile against his lips as you kiss him back and rest your hand on his bicep as he strokes your jawline with his fingers. He finally pulls away when you run out of air and both your eyes slowly open.

‘’I’m never letting you go, you know that?’’

You chuckle. ‘’I would hope not.’’ You smile.

You simply nod and try to turn around but Bucky stops you, stealing a quick kiss from you. ‘’Now that I can do that, I don’t want to stop.’’

I HAVE CERO WORDS FOR WHAT JUST HAPPENED. my head, my mind and my heart can’t- i just oh goood this is just beautiful 😭💗 and when he confessed that he already knew she loved him awww 😭😭

He looks up at you and smiles back. He has the sudden urge to touch you, he raises his hand up to gently stroke your cheek with his thumb; making you shiver.

The look in his eyes alone gives you goosebumps. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone looking at you with that much love in their eyes, it almost takes your breath away.

Bucky could never perfectly explain how much he appreciates Steve and his help, he could never thank him properly for everything that he has done for him since they found each other again. He gave him his memories back, he gave him a place to live, he gave him a purpose and thanks to Steve, he now had you.

a STUCKY MOMENT??? no but seriously haha thank you for this, their friendship through this story was very present and important and i just love it 💗

His girl. His missing piece. His home.

and- i think that’s it hahaha 😭😭 I KNOW it’s a lot, and i’m so sorry but like i said before, this fic has my entire heart, i love it dearly, it makes me happy, it brings me comfort, i mean what else could i ask for? this is everything 💗 ngl this was me while reading this over and over again at 2 am in the morning (noo i can’t put any more pics lmao 🥺)

i think i said pretty much everything i needed to say, again THANK YOU SO MUCH for this work of art, i’m definitely reading it again, i love this so so much, you’re amazing, ilysm 💖💖 (and again, sorry for the spam <3)

ᴍɪꜱꜱɪɴɢ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇ

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ꜰɪꜰᴛᴇᴇɴ

Summary: You promised Bucky that you would bring him back and you're ready to do anything to bring him home to you.

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: Violence (nothing graphic/explicit), wounds & broken bones (again nothing graphic/explicit), angst, fluff

Notes at the end.

» Previous Part »ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ

The Winter Soldier is getting closer and closer to you and you’re terrified.

‘’Come on Jamie, now would be a good time to come back to me.’’ You plead.

You decide not to move and just watch as the soldat circles around you, like a predator and its prey.

You take deep breaths to try and stay calm, you don’t make a move just in case it would set him off and you keep watching him from the corner of your eyes.

After what felt like forever, but in reality was only a few seconds, the Winter Soldier stops moving around and attacks you.

You have never been more grateful for your training as you are now. You are able to avoid getting hit several times, you even manage to get a few punches in but your strength is nothing compared to the Soldier’s, he barely feels anything. You fight as best as you can, avoid as many hits as you can and stay on your feet as long as you can.

You are holding your own pretty well for a non super soldier, but unfortunately you are getting out of breath and your body starts to slow down.

He finally manages to overpower you and slams you against the wall, knocking the wind out of your lungs. He punches you with his right hand and for the first time in your entire life, you feel the skin break. You raise your hand to your face and touch your cheek. You pull it away and see blood on your fingertips.

‘’How?’’

You are so surprised that for a few seconds you forget where you are and what is happening, until his right hand closes around your throat and he lifts you from the ground.

Instinctively both your hands grab his wrist as a desperate effort to pull yourself free.

‘’Bucky, please come back. Please.’’ You beg as panic rises through you, your voice is strained from the pressure on your throat.

For some reason, he’s able to hurt you which means he’s also able to kill you and if he doesn’t let go soon you’re going to run out of oxygen.

‘’Bucky.’’ You cry out. ‘’Please.’’ You try pulling yourself free as your eyes fill up with tears from the lack of oxygen and the sheer terror running through your body.

You see something flicker in his eyes, it was so quick you thought you had imagined it but he finally lets go of you, letting you fall to the ground.

You grab your throat with both hands as you inhale sharply, trying to get as much oxygen as possible back into your lungs and ignoring how much it burns every time you breathe. You cough a few times and quickly look up. You were sure that Bucky was back, it was the only reason why the Winter Soldier would let you go but the fist connecting with your jaw and knocking you out cold would convince you otherwise once you’d wake up.

Your body hurts so badly. Your skin, muscles and even bones feel like they are on fire. You hear voices around you, but they seem so far away, you can’t hear what they are saying. You groan and slowly open your eyes. You blink a few times and look around you.

You’re still on the ground in the warehouse and you notice how the sun isn’t shining as brightly as it was earlier, meaning that it had probably been hours since you were knocked out.

When your eyes finally come into focus, you can see Steve, Natasha and Bruce rushing to you.

‘’I thought she wasn’t able to get hurt!’’ Steve almost yells at Bruce.

‘’She isn’t!’’

‘’The blood and bruises on her body tells me otherwise, Bruce.’’

Steve rapidly kneels next to you and gently takes your head between his hands. ‘’Toots. Look at me.’’

You still feel a little dizzy and it makes it hard to focus, but you put all your focus and energy on lifting your gaze up to meet his eyes.

He sighs with relief when he realizes you can hear him. You try to sit up but he quickly stops you. ‘’Toots, please don’t move. You’re badly injured, we need Bruce to check you out before you can move, ok?’’

You nod, at least you think that you did.

Bruce grabs his medical kit and with the help of Natasha, he starts assessing your injuries.

‘’Can you tell me what happened?’’ Steve asks you, keeping his voice soft. ‘’Where’s Bucky?’’

It hits you.

Your mind has been a little fuzzy from the hits but everything comes rushing back and your heart is racing in your chest.

‘’Bucky!’’ You cry out, sobbing.

Steve’s eyes widen at your reaction. ‘’Where is Bucky?’’ He asks you again, this time his voice wavers from the fear of what you are about to say.

‘’A man ambushed us and he said words-’’ A hiccup cuts you off. ‘’and Bucky was go-gone.’’

Steve’s heartbeat is rapidly increasing and he feels bile at the back of his throat. ‘’What do you mean he’s gone?’’

‘’He’s the Winter Soldier.’’ A sob shakes your entire body. ‘’Bucky’s gone.’’

Steve freezes and, for a moment, he stops breathing. He turns his head and looks at Bruce. ‘’We need to get her out of here, now.’’

Bruce nods quickly. ‘’Nothing’s broken or fractured. There’s a lot of bruises and some cuts but otherwise she’s ok for transport.’’

‘’Come on, toots. Let’s take you home.’’ He says softly.

He puts one arm behind your back and the other under your knees and he lifts you up from the ground. He carries you to the quinjet and lays you down on a small cot. He covers you with a blanket and kisses your forehead.

‘’Natasha, can you stay with her while I get us back to the compound?’’

‘’Of course.’’

She moves to sit beside you and takes your hand. ‘’You’re going to be ok, sweetheart.’’

You close your eyes at her words. You don’t care about yourself, you care about Bucky.

You must have fallen asleep because when you open your eyes again you are laying in a hospital bed in the med bay of the compound.

You look around, no one is in sight. You pull back the sheet that covers you and sit up.

You slowly get out of bed as you stand up you notice how your body aches, the pain makes you groan but you push through it having more important things to do than lie in bed.

Looking down, you see that you are wearing clean clothes, probably thanks to Steve.

You walk out of the bay and move toward the one place you know you’ll find everyone; Tony’s office AKA the conference room.

You’re not even to the door and you can already hear people talking frantically, speaking over one another.

You open the door and walk in, instantly all eyes are on you and everyone goes silent; Steve, Sam, Bruce, Tony and Natasha were all staring at you.

‘’Toots, what are you doing here? You need to go back to bed.’’ Steve moves to shoo you out of the room but you stop him by raising your hand in front of you.

‘’Have you found Bucky?’’

Your throat had been crushed hard enough to leave a bruise and your voice was hoarse because of the trauma, every word made your throat burn.

‘’Not yet but-’’

‘’Then I’m not going back to bed. We need to find him.’’

‘’Toots…’’ Steve pleads.

‘’Don’t.’’ You abruptly cut him off. ‘’It’s my fault if he’s the Winter Soldier again. I’m the one who fell for the stupid trap and I promised to Bucky that I would bring him back.’’ You clear your throat to get rid of the lump in your throat that was caused by the tears fighting their way to the surface. You blink away the ones that manage to reach your eyes. ‘’What do you have so far?’’

You look at Tony.

‘’We’re going through security cameras from streets, buildings and highways. I think we’re close to finding him.’’

‘’I’m gonna change into my gear, then.’’

‘’Look, sweetheart I know you want to find him and I promise we won’t stop looking until we do, but you should really get some rest and let your body heal. Go take a nap and we’ll come wake you up as soon as we find him.’’

You eyed him suspiciously, not believing that he really will wake you up.

‘’I promise. The minute we find him, we’re coming to get you. I know how much he means to you, I wouldn’t lie to you.’’

‘’The minute you find him.’’

Tony nods. ‘’Not a second later.’’

You sigh. ‘’Ok.’’

You turn around and slowly walk toward the door.

‘’I’ll walk you to your room.’’ Steve says, following you but you stop him.

‘’No. Stay here and help. I’ll be ok. Please.’’

Steve hesitates. ‘’Are you sure?’’

You nod. ‘’You need to find him Stevie. He must be so scared.’’ Your voice breaks and a stray tear rolls down your cheek. You quickly wipe it away.

‘’Ok.’’ Steve agrees. ‘’I’m staying.’’

‘’Thank you.’’ You whisper.

He kisses the side of your head and watches as you leave. He closes the door behind you and turns back to look at the others.

‘’We really need to find him before guilt eats her alive. I don’t know what happened exactly, but she’s blaming herself for everything. Then we need to figure out how the hell she got hurt.’’

They all agree and go back to work.

They looked for him all night and finally found him a little after sunrise. He was with a man that they hadn’t been able to identify yet.

‘’We have to be quick if we don’t want to lose him.’’

Steve agrees with Tony. ‘’Nat and I are gonna go get toots and then we’ll leave. Sam, I need you there with us, in the sky. Tony and Bruce I need you to stay here and monitor his every move and update us as he goes.’’

In any other situation they would have made fun of his ‘’Captain America voice’’, today no one thought it was funny as tension rose in the room.

Steve and Nat left to get you and walk toward your room. Natasha stops in front of it but Steve keeps walking.

‘’What are you doing, Steve? Her room’s right here.’’

‘’I know, but that’s not where we’ll find her. Trust me.’’ He nods for her to follow him and the next time they stop it’s in front of Bucky’s bedroom door.

Steve knocks softly on it and opens the door slowly. He looks inside and feels relieved when he sees you’re asleep. He walks over to the bed quietly and kneels on the floor. His heart breaks when he sees the state you’re in. You have a gash on your cheekbone from the first punch and a big bruise on your cheek from the punch that knocked you out, not to mention your throat that was a dark shade of purple.

He lifts his hand to your hand and gently strokes your hair.

‘’Toots,’’ He whispers. ‘’Wake up.’’

It doesn’t take long before you open your eyes.

You meet Steve’s eyes and your heart starts racing. ‘’Did you…’’

He nods. ‘’We found him. We gotta go.’’

You quickly get out of bed. ‘’Is he ok?’’

‘’He seems to be.’’ Steve stands back up and helps you out of bed.

‘’Good. That’s good.’’ You take your gear that you had laid out on the bed before going to sleep. ‘’I’ll be right back. Wait for me.’’

You disappear in Bucky’s bathroom and come back out dressed.

‘’Ready?’’

‘’Let’s go.’’

The fastest and easiest way to get to Bucky is by car, but because of your injuries Steve won’t let you drive. Thankfully Nat takes over for you and you leave the compound, following Tony’s instructions. The pain was mostly gone, except for your throat that was still throbbing. Thankfully your mind was focusing on one thing right now and the pain was pushed at the back of your brain.

You finally come to a stop and Nat turns off the car.

‘’He shouldn’t be far from your position. There are civilians, proceed with caution.’’ Tony says over the comm.

You get out of the car as fast as you can and you start looking around. Your heart is pounding so loud, you can barely hear yourself think.

Steve and Nat join you, all three of you looking in every direction to find him.

‘’Sam?’’ You look up to the sky. ‘’Do you see him?’’

‘’Hold on.’’ He says.

He speaks again two minutes later.

‘’Three blocks down from here.’’

You start running, listening to Sam as he tells you where to go.

Finally, you see him. You stop running and shortly after Steve and Natasha are standing by your side.

‘’You both stay here, I’m doing this alone. Do not intervene unless I ask you to.’’

Steve grabs your wrist before you have time to move.

‘’Are you sure you should do this alone?’’

‘’The last thing I said to him is that I was going to bring him back. He was ordered to kill me and yet I’m still breathing. Bucky’s still in there, I know he is. I can do this.’’

Steve lets go of your wrist and squeezes your hand instead. ‘’Be careful.’’

‘’Always am.’’ You squeeze his hand back and take a few steps towards Bucky.

He has his back to you and it seems like he is waiting for someone. Probably the man who triggered him. He’s standing in front of a building and the closer you get, the harder it is for you to breathe.

You stop in the middle of the street and think of a way to get his attention. You probably should have come up with a plan before you needed one. In hindsight, you probably could have done something better but you were desperate so you did the one thing that always catches attention: you screamed.

‘’BUCKY!’’

He slowly turns around and it takes him a few seconds to recognize you. He tilts his head to the side and takes out the knife from his thigh holster and flips it in his hand a few times. You hadn’t realized that he had taken back his weapons after he knocked you out. He slowly walks over to you, never breaking eye contact with you.

You rapidly start talking before he gets a chance to reach you. ‘’Bucky I know you’re in there, I know you can hear him. I need you to fight for me, please. I’m begging you. You need to come back.’’

You only move out of the way when he tries to hit you. You ignore the pain that shoots through you every time you move and focus on Bucky’s eyes.

You manage to move out of the way, again, a second before you could get hit, losing your balance with how fast you moved. He takes advantage of your loss of balance and pins you to the car behind you, holding you by your shoulders.

With the new proximity, you’re able to look Bucky directly in the eyes.

‘’Jamie.’’ You say softly, not looking away. ‘’Don’t let him win.’’

It doesn’t seem like the Winter Soldier appreciates you turning soft on him, he pulls you away from the car just enough to be able to slam you back against it. Your body slightly shifted when he pulled you from the car, and it was just enough to break a rib as you collided forcely with the car again. You scream in pain, not being used to getting hurt you feel like all your nerve endings are on fire.

The sound of your scream makes the Winter Soldier freeze up. You notice the sudden change and feel a sliver of hope that Bucky was making his way back.

You knew that Bucky was scared of two things: turning back into the Winter Soldier and hurting you. Now, both of his biggest fears were unraveling and it seemed to be just enough to break the soldat’s barrier.

Steve has been watching the whole fight and not being able to intervene is driving him nuts. The moment he hears you scream, he makes up his mind: he can’t just stand and watch anymore. He has to do something.

You can see Steve running toward you from the corner of your eye. ‘’Steve, no!’’

He stops running. ‘’He’s hurting you!’’

‘’I know, it’s ok. Just let me do this.’’

You raise both of your hands to the collar of your jacket, wincing because of your rib, and you unzip it just enough for your throat to be visible. By doing so, you make the giant hand shaped bruise that’s covering most of it visible, too.

‘’Look at my neck.’’ His eyes flicker down to your throat. ‘’You did this to me.’’

You feel absolutely awful saying that, you know it’s not Bucky who did this but it was the first time that you were able to get to Bucky since he disappeared from his own body.

He lets go of you and stumbles back a few steps as if you had just punched him.

Your heart starts racing as you realize that you almost have him. You have to be very careful with what you say or do because if you do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, you could lose him for good.

‘’You need to listen to me. You are not the Winter Soldier. You’re James Buchanan Barnes. You’re Bucky. Buck. You’re my Jamie. You’re Steve Rogers’ best friend and you’re my best friend too. You’re Sergeant Barnes, a soon to be Avengers. You’re an amazing person. You don’t hurt people, you save them.’’

You look into his eyes and you finally see some life back into them, so you continue.

‘’You know me.’’ You pull away from the car and take a few steps towards him. I’m your baby doll, remember? Your baby.’’ You take another step forward. ‘’I need you to come home now. Remember when you made me pinky promise that we would never go to bed angry, sad or hurt? If you don’t come back you’re going to break that promise, and you don’t break a pinky promise.’’

You smile at him with as much sincerity as you can muster in this moment.

Very slowly, you move your hand to hold his vibranium hand. You stop breathing as you wait for him to go crazy at your touch, but nothing happens and you exhale.

‘’You told me that you loved me and that you were sorry you waited until it was too late to tell me, but it doesn’t have to be too late.’’

He looks at you with wide eyes, completely frozen. His heart is beating so fast, he doesn’t even know what’s happening to him. His breathing becomes shallow, he has trouble getting air into his lungs.

You look at him for a few seconds, noticing that something is wrong. At first, you are scared that you are losing Bucky again then it hits you; the Winter Soldier is having a panic attack and you could have cried right then. You take his right hand and put it on your chest. You hold it there as you get closer.

‘’Close your eyes and breathe. Like I showed you. Inhale as deeply as you can, hold it for 3 seconds and exhale slowly.’’

He looks like he’s fighting himself; one part wants to close his eyes and listen to you while the other part doesn’t want to do what you tell him to. You hold your breath and wait to see who’s going to win.

He closes his eyes and starts breathing the way you showed him. You let go of his hand on your chest and cupped his cheek, gently stroking it. His eyes opened suddenly and what you saw in them made you shiver, tears blurring your vision. Your breath caught in your throat, almost making it impossible to speak.

His eyes are filled with emotions, you could almost see everything that he was thinking which could only mean one thing.

‘’Jamie.’’ You whisper, barely audible.

His focus turns to you at the sound of your voice, like he hadn’t noticed you were there until you spoke.

‘’Baby.’’ He says softly and wraps his arms around your waist. ‘’My baby.’’

He hides his face into the crook of your neck and you feel like you can finally breathe again.

You put your arms around him, holding him tightly. You couldn’t care less about the pain from your broken rib.

Bucky lets out the most heartbreaking sob you’ve ever heard and you can no longer hold back your own tears. You are clinging to each other like your lives depend on it and when Bucky’s knees give out from under him, you follow with him.

‘’You brought me back. You actually did it.’’ He mumbles against the skin of your neck, eyes closed, trying to keep the tears from pouring down his cheeks. ‘’You stayed. You’re still here.’’

‘’I’m not going anywhere, not without you.’’

He pulls back to look at you, holding both sides of your face in his hands. He feels bile in his throat when he sees the state you’re in. ‘’I- I did this?’’

He takes his hands off of you as if he had just been burned.

‘’Bucky, no. It wasn’t you.’’ You try reaching out to him but he shakes his head and you let your hand drop to your side.

‘’I thought you couldn’t get hurt. Why are you hurt and I’m not? I should be the one that’s hurt, not you.’’

‘’Jamie, it’s ok. I’m ok. We don’t know how it happened but I’ll heal. The important thing is that you’re back.’’

‘’I can’t believe I did this.’’ He looks away and whispers to himself.

He notices Steve and Nat standing not far from them. ‘’You need to take her to Bruce.’’ He says to his best friend. ‘’Then you need to lock me up somewhere secure.’’

‘’Wh- What? No.’’

‘’The guy who did this to me, he’s still out there. I can’t risk hurting you again. What if the next time I actually kill you?’’

Steve walks over and offers Bucky his hand to help him stand up. Once Bucky’s up, he looks Steve in the eyes. ‘’I’m serious Steve. You need to restrain me and put me away. Keep her as far away from me as possible.’’

He wipes his cheeks with both hands and walks over to Nat.

You stay on the ground, staring into nothing. In less than 5 minutes you have managed to get Bucky back and lose him again. You feel completely numb, you couldn’t even feel your injuries anymore.

Steve crouches down next to you. ‘’Toots? Bucky’s right, you need to see Bruce.’’

You hum to let him know that you heard him but you make no efforts to move, whatsoever. Everything seems to be hitting you at once, all the emotions you had been pushing down come rushing in and you feel overwhelmed. Your entire body aches, but the part that hurts the most is your heart.

‘’Come on.’’ Steve stands up and grabs you under the arms to pull you up. As soon as he moves you you let out a little yelp.

‘’Steve, let her go!’’ Bucky yells at him and rushes to you.

Steve puts you down, confused. ‘’What’s wrong?’’

‘’I- I think I broke her ribs when I…’’ He trails off, not being able to say it out loud.

Steve understands and nods.

Bucky takes you in his arms and slowly stands back up, carrying you. ‘’It’s ok. I got you baby.’’ He whispers and kisses your temple.

Sam shows up a minute later in the van you had left behind a few blocks down. Bucky sits in the back with you in his lap while Steve sits next to Sam and Natasha sits completely in the back.

Bucky wants to stay away from you, he needs to stay away and protect you but why does staying away feel so wrong? Everything in him screams to hold you and never let go again.

As if you could read his mind, he feels your head resting on his shoulder.

‘’Please don’t push me away.’’ You whisper.

He looks down at you and sighs. He raises his hand to your cheek and gently brushes his knuckles against it. ‘’I’m not pushing you away, but until we find whoever brought him back you’re not safe around me. I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.’’

‘’I’m so sorry Bucky. This is all my fault. I never should have fallen for the stupid trap. If I hadn’t made us leave the safe house, none of this would have happened.’’

He pulls you away from him and makes you look at him. ‘’Bullshit. I wanted to leave, maybe even more than you did. I fell for the trap too, and at least you realized what was happening. I just stood there and did nothing. That asshole would have gotten to me at some point. None of it had anything to do with you. You did everything that you could and you brought me back. If it weren’t for you, who knows how many people I would have hurt. You kept me safe, now it’s my turn.’’

He kisses your forehead and lets you rest on his shoulder again.

The 3 others try not to listen in, which is physically impossible with how close you are all sitting. Everyone knows how close you and Bucky have gotten but no one has actually seen you have little moments like the one they just witnessed.

Soon enough, Sam pulls up to the front door of the compound where Bruce and Tony are waiting for you.

‘’Are you ok to walk?’’ Bucky asks you and you nod.

Bruce opens the door and Bucky gets out first. He offers you his hands and helps you out.

‘’Can you check her ribs?’’ Bucky asks Bruce, averting his eyes.

‘’What’s wrong with her ribs?’’

‘’I-’’

You cut him off. ‘’I think I broke one.’’

‘’You think?’’ Bruce raises a brow, curiously.

‘’I’ve never broken a bone before… I don’t know.’’

‘’Fair point. Well, let’s get you inside and we’ll check it out.’’ He walks back inside.

You nod and follow him, Bucky is right beside you still holding your hand.

‘’Barnes.’’ Tony warns him.

Bucky sighs and lets go of your hand. You stop moving and look at him.

‘’It’s ok. I’ll come see you later.’’ He kisses your cheek and gently nudges you towards Bruce.

You follow Bruce to the med bay and sit on a bed, waiting.

After some x-rays, Bruce confirms that you indeed broke a rib but it’s a clean break so he doesn’t need to operate.

‘’Do you mind if I take some blood samples?’’ He asks you. ‘’I’d like to figure out what happened and why you suddenly can get hurt.’’

‘’Sure.’’ You shrug and hold out your arm.

Once he’s done with his tests and patching you up, he helps you settle comfortably in the bed and covers you with a blanket.

‘’I’m going to give you something to help you sleep, ok? You need to rest if you want to heal.’’

‘’Ok.’’ You whisper and watch as he injects something in your IV tube.

Bruce stays with you until you are deep asleep and he goes back to his lab to look at your blood work. He asks FRIDAY to tell him when you wake up or if your vitals change.

It takes him 2 hours to figure out what had happened and once he does, he goes straight to the group.

‘’I figured it out!’’ He says as he walks in the room.

Everyone turns to look at him, confused.

‘’Figured what out?’’ Tony asks him.

‘’Why she got hurt.’’

‘’Tell us, then.’’ Steve encourages him.

‘’Yes, right. From the first blood tests I did after we found out she couldn’t get hurt, I figured out that her abilities were directly linked to hormones her brain would release in fights or life or death situations, that’s how she protected herself. Those hormones could be seen in her blood hours after she came home. When I took samples earlier, it hadn’t been even an hour since she fought Bucky. None of those hormones showed up in the results.’’

‘’What does that mean?’’ Bucky asks. ‘’She lost her abilities?’’

Bruce shakes his head. ‘’No. Her need to protect you was so strong that her brain never released the hormones. She knew that if you tried to hurt her, you’d be the one who’d get hurt. Worst even, if you had lost control completely and had tried to kill her instead of just knocking her out.’’

Bucky’s brows furrow, absolutely lost. ‘’Hold on. I knocked her out?’’ His mind was fuzzy and he couldn’t remember most of what happened.

‘’Yes.’’ Steve answers for Bruce. ‘’The Winter Soldier was ordered to kill her and from what she told us they both fought for a while and when she got too tired, he knocked her out and left.’’

Bucky looks up at Steve.

‘’You saved her life, Buck. I know you think that you and the Winter Soldier are one and the same, but that’s not true.’’

Bucky takes in a shaky breath and pushes the palm of his hands on his eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling. He can’t remember the last time he cried this much.

‘’I understand why you want to stay away from her, but she’s a lot safer with you than you think she is. She might have gotten hurt, but even in your brain-washed state you were protecting her and keeping her safe.’’

Bucky drops his hands and looks at Bruce. ‘’Is she going to be ok?’’

‘’Absolutely. She already started healing. I gave her something to help her sleep to make sure she didn’t feel anything while her body worked. I’m going to monitor her, she should stay asleep until morning with the dosage I gave her and then she should be fine.’’

Bucky nods. ‘’Thank you.’’

‘’It gives us about,’’ Tony looks down at his watch. ‘’9 hours to find the man responsible. Otherwise we all know she’s going to want to come look for him with us.’’

Everybody nods and starts working.

Bucky sits in a corner and watches as everyone works. His mind racing with a million thoughts. He can’t believe that you let yourself get hurt because you didn’t want him to get hurt. He’s mad at you, furious even while also being in awe of how much you love him and care for him.

Bucky ended up helping the rest of the group after he finally got his mind straightened up.

Unfortunately, even though they tried really hard, they weren’t able to find the man and before they knew it Bruce was walking in to tell them you were going to wake up within the next hour.

‘’You should go be with her, be there when she wakes up.’’ Steve tells Bucky after Bruce leaves the room.

‘’Are you sure? We still haven’t found him.’’

Tony shakes his head. ‘’Go, Barnes. She needs you more than we do, if we find anything you’ll be the first to know.’’

‘’Thank you.’’ He stands up and leaves. He decides to go take a shower before going down to the med bay and changes his clothes.

When he walks into your room, he’s relieved to see that all your bruises were gone and what was left of your wounds were faded scars that would probably be gone by the end of the day. He takes the chair that was in the corner of the room and drags it next to your bed. He leans down to kiss your forehead and sits down. He takes your hand and holds it with both of his. He brings them to his lips and peppers the back of your hand with soft kisses.

He then lays down his head on the mattress next to you and keeps your hand in his. He closes his eyes and finally lets himself relax.

He dozzes of a few times but always wakes up a few minutes later, too scared to miss the moment you’d wake up.

The monitor next to you beeps more regularly as your heart beats faster, a sign that you are waking up.

Bucky sits up in his chair and watches you. He had woken up next to you more than enough times to recognize the little signs that you were just about to open your eyes.

He smiles when he finally sees your eyes flutter open.

You look around, slightly confused as to where you are. You feel a weight in your hand and look down to see what it is. You’re surprised to see another hand. Your gaze drifts up the arm and you see whose hand it is.

‘’Jamie.’’ You whisper, a smile forming on your lips.

‘’Hey, sleeping beauty.’’ He stands up and sits in the little space next to you where his head was a few minutes ago. ‘’How are you feeling?’’

He raises his free hand to your head and gently pushes back a few strands of your hair.

‘’A lot better. Tired.’’

He nods and smiles. ‘’Bruce says you’re fully healed.’’

‘’That’s good.’’ You look in his eyes. ‘’How are you feeling?’’

‘’A lot better now that I know that you’re going to be ok.’’

Bruce walks in your room, keeping you from answering Bucky. You both turn your heads to look at him.

‘’Welcome back, agent. How are you feeling?’’ He smiles brightly at you.

‘’Much better, thank you.’’

‘’She’s still tired, is that normal?’’

Bruce nods. ‘’Absolutely. If she gets enough sleep, in a few days she’ll be in top shape.’’

‘’Good. She’s not moving from that bed until then.’’

‘’I’m fine.’’ You roll your eyes. ‘’How long was I out? Did you find the guy?’’

‘’You slept for about 9-10 hours.’’ Bruce answers your first question.

‘’We haven’t found him yet.’’ Bucky answers the second one.

‘’What are we still doing here, then?’’ You sit up quickly and lift off the blanket.

Bucky stops you and shakes his head. ‘’I’m serious, you’re not moving from this bed.’’

‘’Oh, come on.’’ You groan. ‘’I’m fine! Right, doc?’’ You look at Bruce.

‘’As your friend, I’d prefer if you got more rest and sat this one out but as your doctor, you are clear for duty.’’

Bucky glares at him.

‘’Sorry.’’ He says to Bucky, shrugging. ‘’I’ll leave you two, call me if you need me.’’

‘’Thank you, Bruce.’’

You watch him leave and try getting up again, Bucky stops you once more.

‘’Are you sure that you’re ok?’’ His eyes soften up as they meet yours.

‘’I promise.’’

He sighs and helps you get up. You stretch your arms above your head and for the first time in days, you don’t feel any pain as you move.

‘’I’m gonna go take a shower and change, I’ll join you and the others in a little bit.’’

‘’I’ll walk you to your room.’’

‘’Buck, I’m ok.’’ You remind him.

He glares at you.

‘’Fine.’’ You yield and let him walk you to your room.

It took a lot of convincing, but he finally accepted to go back to the others while you showered.

15 minutes later, you walk in the room where everybody is currently working on finding the asshole who hurt Bucky.

‘’I got him!’’ Steve almost yells, pointing at his screen.

You move over to his desk and stand behind him to look at the screen. ‘’Yes, that’s him.’’

With now a clear image of what he looks like, Steve’s able to put him through the facial recognition program and within seconds you have all the information about him you need.

‘’Helmut Zemo.’’ You read aloud and turn to look at Bucky. ‘’Does it ring any bells?’’

‘’Not a single one.’’

‘’You two are staying here.’’ Tony points at you and Bucky. ‘’The rest of us will go handle him.’’

‘’Why can’t we come?’’ You ask, surprised by his decision.

‘’I think the two of you have been through more than enough over the past 48 hours. Stay here, stay safe. We’ll get him, I promise.’’

‘’It’s probably best if I stay away from him.’’ Bucky admits.

You agree to stay, only because Bucky isn’t going either. You help them gear up and watch as they leave.

‘’They won’t be back for a while. We probably should try and get some rest.’’

You look up to Bucky and nod.

He puts his arm around your shoulders and guides you to the elevator, then to his room. He opens the door and turns on the light. He looks at his bed and frowns when he sees that one of the sides of the bed is unmade.

‘’I slept in here two days ago.’’ You confess.

He smiles and closes the door. ‘’I should have guessed that.’’

You both crawl into his bed and he turns off the light. You lie on your side, facing each other.

He takes your hand and brings it up to his lips, placing a few kisses on your knuckles. ‘’Baby?’’

‘’Yes?’’

‘’Why did you let me hurt you?’’

You bite your lower lip and shrug. ‘’Because it was better me than you.’’

‘’Did you know that you could do that?’’

‘’Honestly, no.’’ You chuckle. ‘’You should have seen my face when I saw that I was bleeding a little bit.’’

Your laughter dies down when you see the guilt in Bucky’s eyes.

‘’I’m so sorry.’’ His voice breaks.

‘’Don’t you dare apologize to me.’’ You say sternly. ‘’It wasn’t you who did this to me. The only time it was you was when the Winter Soldier was holding back. I told you you were strong enough to fight it, and you did.’’

You gently grab his chin to make him look at you. "You aren't him. He isn't you. You might share a body but you definitely do not share the same mind or the same heart."

He smiles and you let go of his chin. He leans down and presses your foreheads together. He brushes the tip of his nose against yours and lifts his hand to your cheek, stroking your skin with his fingertips.

"You know, I meant what I said."

"Which part?"

"I really do love you. So much."

Your breath catches in your throat and your heart flutters in your chest.

"I love you too, Jamie."

He smiles and looks into your eyes. "Oh I know."

"What do you mean you know?" You frown.

"Steve told me and Sam."

"I didn't even tell anyone!"

"Apparently you didn't need to." He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. "You're just soooo in love with me that you can't hide it." He smirks, teasing you.

You roll your eyes. "Is it too late to take it back?"

"Yup. You're officially stuck with me, no take backs allowed."

You sigh. "Fiiiine. If I don't have a choice."

You both grin at your far from funny jokes.

He leans back to take a good look at your face, that is now completely healed.

Bucky brushes his thumb against your bottom lip and leans back in, this time kissing you. You smile against his lips as you kiss him back and rest your hand on his bicep as he strokes your jawline with his fingers. He finally pulls away when you run out of air and both your eyes slowly open.

‘’I’m never letting you go, you know that?’’

You chuckle. ‘’I would hope not.’’ You smile.

He keeps looking at your face, trying to memorize every little detail, Bucky can tell that you’re fighting sleep and he looks at you fondly. ‘’Let’s get some sleep. I think we both need it.’’

You simply nod and try to turn around but Bucky stops you, stealing a quick kiss from you. ‘’Now that I can do that, I don’t want to stop.’’

You laugh and kiss the tip of his nose. ‘’That’s good, because I don’t want you to stop.’’

This time he lets you turn to your other side. He wraps his arm around you and pulls you until your back is flush against his chest, like he has done dozens of times since he met you. He waits until you put your hand on top of his hand that’s laying flat on your stomach, before hiding his face in the crook of your neck. He kisses up your neck until he reaches your ear.

‘’Good night. I love you, baby.’’

He closes his eyes.

‘’I love you too, Jamie.’’

You close your eyes, and soon after both of you have fallen asleep with a smile on your faces.

Bucky expected to wake up multiple times throughout the night with vivid images of what he had done as the Winter Soldier, he was more than surprised that Steve was the one to wake him up hours later as he knocked on his bedroom door.

Both of you were startled awake and Bucky groaned.

‘’What?!’’ Bucky is annoyed that someone had just ruined the best night of sleep he’s had in weeks and he’s not hiding it.

‘’It’s Steve. Can I come in?’’

Bucky sighs and drops his head on your shoulder. ‘’Come in.’’

Steve opens the door and walks in, looking at the two of you.

‘’Do you always sleep like this?’’ He chuckles.

Bucky pulls you closer to his chest and lifts his head to look at his friend.

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Stevie, I love you but please get on with it so I can go back to sleep.’’ You sound desperate, which at this point you are. You just want one night of sleep. From night to morning with no one or nothing waking you up. That’s it. That’s all you ask for.

‘’We found the guy, Zemo. We arrested him and I just got confirmation that he’s now at the Raft, in his own little cell with nowhere to go and nothing to do.’’

You’re both suddenly very awake and very interested in what he has to say.

‘’What does that mean for Bucky?’’ You sit up to look at Steve.

‘’His name has been cleared. Everyone now knows that he had nothing to do with the bombing and all footage of him as the Winter Soldier from yesterday has been erased.’’

You look down at Bucky with a grin.

He looks up at you and smiles back. He has the sudden urge to touch you, he raises his hand up to gently stroke your cheek with his thumb; making you shiver.

The look in his eyes alone gives you goosebumps. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone looking at you with that much love in their eyes, it almost takes your breath away.

Remembering that Steve is still in the room, Bucky drops his hand on the mattress and sits up next to you.

‘’It’s over then?’’

Steve nods. ‘’It’s over.’’

As soon as the words come out of Steve’s mouth, Bucky feels like it’s easier to breathe. Relief washes over him and he’s more relaxed than he has ever been over the past couple of weeks.

Without any hesitation he’s quick to take your hand in his own and kiss the back of your hand, the biggest grin on his face as he does so.

He looks back to his friend, not letting go of your hand.

‘’Thanks, pal.’’

Though it wasn't spoken, both men knew that he was thanking him for more than just helping him tonight.

Bucky could never perfectly explain how much he appreciates Steve and his help, he could never thank him properly for everything that he has done for him since they found each other again. He gave him his memories back, he gave him a place to live, he gave him a purpose and thanks to Steve, he now had you.

His girl. His missing piece. His home.

The end. I am extremely nervous to be posting this. I really hope that the ending is satisfying for everyone. This is not the end of the line for this story, I still have requests for bonus chapters to write and there might be more of them to come at some point, moving along the MCU timeline. Let's say that this is the end of Volume One!

To think this all started with what was supposed to be a one shot and here we are, 14 chapters later and thousands of words. Incredible.

Thank you so much to all of you who stuck with me until the end. The love and support I've received for this story is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. When I started writing a few months ago I didn't expect to have any followers and now there are hundreds of you. It blows my mind. I love you all, you've been incredible to me and I hope to see you on my next projects!

Taglist : @lover-of-bucky | @mcu-thoughts | @n3ssm0nique | @ohmyendlessdays | @scentedprofessorcolormoney | @fangirllife98 | @mx-barnes | @blackwidownat2814 | @shy-panda02 | @multi-stann | @marvelswh0re | @sidepartskinnyjeans | @melissad1974 | @and-allons-y-alonzo | @peachyyybabyy | @buendiabebeta | @semlohkrats | @doll1917 | @vicmc624 | @spaaceprincessss | @sam-eve | @bahama-mama-llama | @swaggiemcgee | @themotherofhorses | @aermaethor | @dusti | @rachellovesloki | @winterbuckystan1917 | @glxwingrxse | @sky0401 | @pineprincess | @tripletstephaniescp | @vstudios-00 | @buckybeefybarnes | @my-little-writer | @bucky-hues | @oh-my-gerd | @fairytalebucky | @superdeath | @erinn-barnes | @buttybarnes1917 | @austynparksandpizza | @yourmumssoggytits | @blonde-in-charge | @sydneyisnotawriter | @michaelfuckinglangdon | @angelfromthecafe-1973 | @carrie-fans-unite | @fred-weasleys-gf | @wh0reonly4fictionalmen | @tylard-blog1 | @beingagodsucks | @aboukie | @dxncingwithastrxnger | @melodramalftv | @andy-is-gay | @queenredfury | @ragdoll-99 | @440mxs-wife |

IN YOUR CARE

BTS X READER A/B/O AU

CHAPTER 6 (6.8k words)

For more information about this story, find it here

Seokjin's POV

Nothing could've prepared me for what I'd find as soon as I make it back to the car.

I briefly explained to Yoongi and Namjoon what happened earlier without going too much into details for Y/N's sake, it was mainly about how it would be important for us to show her a whole lot of love, understanding and most especially patience, something that she needs desperately.

Namjoon looked like he understood the context, but Yoongi still said that he would explain the situation on the way to his place and we parted ways on that note so that I wouldn't leave her alone for too long. I wanted to apologize for how I reacted since it was more aggressive than what I am used to from myself.

That wasn't how I should treat my baby, no matter the cause, and I feel awful about it. She deserved better from me, a lot better. I need to apologize to her once I'm back - or that was the plan anyway, since my heart stops beating once I make it closer to the car only to see it empty.

In a moment of panic as I try to find her in the immediate surroundings - did she run away? Yoongi and Namjoon would've noticed, no? - I don't notice the clothes right away, neatly folded on her seat where they wouldn't get dirty, or the massive mass of black fur resting on the back seats.

It's her scent that guides my eyes to where she is, and when I find her rolled-up form through the window, the other on the side of the road with the shutter closed - both windows at the back have one in case of an emergency shifting along with a blanket - I all but freeze as this was the last thing I was expecting to see.

Her shifting to her wolf form had not even crossed my mind and all I can think about is how I fucked up for that to happen now.

Her big brown eyes glance at me from under a big paw before looking away with a loud whimper and my heart breaks instantly, it falls to the ground where it is left for dead, unwanted. I caused that, didn't I? Because I was too much earlier?

I most likely was, but her words made me feel so angry at first that I just had to pull over. I simply couldn't keep driving without causing some sort of accident, and then it'd felt like we'd failed her, Yoongi and I, hadn't we said enough to assure her that she'd done nothing wrong?

She had been a victim from the very beginning and I thought she knew that, but then I had to hear that she was in fact blaming herself for being oblivious to a truth that she had been trained to not see, as if that was her fault.

My mind eventually cleared enough to let me see that talking to her about it wasn't going to go anywhere, she was right in the middle of processing trauma and here I was getting angry because she wasn't healing fast enough to my liking.

I always tell Yoongi to take it slow and easy, and yet here I was, doing the exact opposite to my sweet baby.

My leaving her alone for a moment was only my way of giving her some space to recover from the stress I imposed upon her, but it was not my intention to come back to her pitiful, curled-up form in the back of the car with her huge paws hiding her face because she can't bear to look at me.

I'm seeing her wolf for the first time, and it has to be because she sought comfort after I made her feel terrible. With a lump in my throat, I sit behind the wheel before wearing my seatbelt, fully aware that right now, there's absolutely nothing I can do for her.

Trying to comfort her with either words or caresses would make her feel even more stressed and that's not what I want, so all I can do is hope that by the time we make it to Namjoon's place, she'll be in a better state to accept my touch again.

I do send a quick text to Yoongi to let him know about her having shifted, and while he doesn't sound very happy about it when his only response is "Fucking hell, Jin", I know that he'll be more apt to help her than I am right now.

I don't know how long we drive the remaining distance for, all I know is that to have her upset scent so strong in my nose the whole time is a real nightmare, and that my pheromones are so heavy and thick in the vehicle that I have to open a window just to keep breathing normally.

I wish I could hug her tightly and let her know that I'm sorry, that I love her and that I will never behave like I did ever again. It's so easy to forget sometimes that while she is an alpha, while her scent is that of a confident and strong girl, she is in fact very sensitive and soft.

It's like having an omega stuck in the body of an alpha with her and I can't understand why the Moon Goddess would have allowed such a mistake, why she would make her life so difficult to live.

Should I expect to meet an omega mate with the behaviour of an alpha one day? Will we somehow learn that they swapped bodies by mistake? That their second genders went to the wrong wolf when it was time to present?

I was such a damned fool for getting mad. Such a fool.

By the time we make it to the huge building with the fancy fountain like Namjoon had told us, my heart is acting like a dying mantra going unheard for too long, its pleas and prayers getting slower by the minute.

It physically hurts to not be able to react to my instincts, my skin like fire as my wolf paces back and forth continually. I know I deserve this but at the same time, the selfish part of my soul just wants to seek her soothing touch to get rid of this pain, as if that could fix everything in an instant.

I follow behind Namjoon's car when the gates open, and the silence that looms over my head on the path to the private parking lot is only broken by the occasional snores of Y/N's wolf, the only comfort I can get out of this right now because to have her asleep means that my presence didn't make her feel unsafe.

Once our two cars parked side by side, Yoongi immediately opens his door and jumps to his feet before hurrying around the back of our car to her side, and I turn in my seat after getting rid of my seatbelt to better see as he opens the door to have a closer look at her.

His salty sea isn't peaceful like usual, it is tensed, grey, sour and bitter, and I accept how he doesn't allow a single glance my way to instead fully focus on her - it's the right thing to do and as the pack alpha, I wouldn't want any less from him.

He snakes his hands beneath her chin to lift her big head slightly upwards and then begins to massage her cheeks with his thumbs to get her to wake up softly, a few kisses peppered onto her nose and forehead that seem to work just as well as when she's in her human form.

Her droopy eyes slowly open before wavering a little as she tries very hard to wake up, and when Yoongi coos in adoration at the sight of her adorable softness, her tail begins to thump lightly against the leather seat, which is a very good thing to see, thank goodness.

"We made it to Namjoon's home, sweetheart, how about we go see where he lives, hm? Do you want to see what his place looks like?" he asks her with a gentle voice, and her eyes blink for a moment before she's nodding her heavy head, and to see the way she tries to climb onto his chest and in his arms next hurts my heart in a whole different way.

What I wouldn't give to be able to hold her wolf in my arms right now.

Namjoon suddenly opens my door to invite me out before I fully wither on my seat, a small smile on his face when I look up at him with a sad frown, and I swear I almost tear up when he reaches out to me with a warm hand, almost.

"Yoongi explained everything to me on the way. She's going to be okay, Seokjin. You're all learning how to coexist as a new pack with different backgrounds behind you. Mistakes are bound to happen in the process, that doesn't mean you're a bad pack alpha, he said so himself" he muses while pulling me up to my feet smoothly.

He doesn't seem to struggle as he does, which would have shocked me more was I not so worried. I bite on my tongue to keep in the tears that try to make an exit, but a choked and wavering hum lets him know that I am not doing too well right now.

Unable to let go of my hand when my scent is less coffee and more distressed, he adjusts his bag over his shoulder before closing my door, and then he's pulling me in close so that I can at least bask in his own scent of pumpkins with his body heat wrapped around me.

We remain like this as we wait for Yoongi to be done with getting Y/N out of the car, and I do see a paw push against his face when he tries to get the heavy wolf to hug around his neck to better pick her up, which makes the two alphas grunt in unison before trying again - wouldn't it be easier to have her walk at this point?

"I just hope she can forgive my behaviour, Namjoon. I don't want to fail as her pack alpha, she and Yoongi trusted me with this role and I want to be good to my pack, this... this isn't the legacy I want to leave behind" I finally utter, disappointed with my performance from earlier, but he rubs my back gently before bringing his gaze back to Yoongi when the car's door finally closes.

He's holding Y/N's wolf in his arms like she's a gigantic cuddly bear, her arms over his shoulders with her head tucked against his own while his arms support her large bottom, and she looks so much bigger like this, but it's like seeing a child in a body too large for her.

"Have faith and give her some time to rest. She's going through a hard time but she's not stupid, she knows that she's being dearly loved and that's what matters the most. She will understand that you were not mad at her, but at the situation. Everything will be fine".

The beta says that with such conviction that I can only believe him, and I nod my head before following his pace when he begins to make us walk towards Yoongi and Y/N. The two of them glance in my direction, and the pout on my face must be pretty pitiful because it takes but a second for Yoongi to lose his frown.

He had plans for how he wanted us to see each others' wolves, plans that included cuddles and a lot of love, but it's not fair of him to be mad when he knows that I didn't do this on purpose. If we had switched positions, he probably would've done worse than I did and what then?

He sighs at that thought and rubs her back softly. Her words must have been very bad for me to react the way I did - my usual peaceful nature didn't keep me from getting mad at her and that says a lot, he judged his pack alpha too fast.

"Let's get inside for now, there's no point staying out here where everyone can hear and see us" Namjoon decides when silence reigns over our heads for a beat too long, and we all nod before following him to the large doors leading inside the building with drooped heads.

He holds one of the two doors open for Yoongi since his hands are busy holding our mate, then squeezes my hand as I walk past him next. "We'll take the elevator. I live on the fifth floor and I don't want anyone getting hurt in the stairs. Keep going, it's on the left".

Thankful that Namjoon thought about safety, Yoongi nods before following his directives until he finds it, and he presses on the up button with his elbow while Y/N's eyes discreetly glance in my direction every few seconds, like she's trying to determine whether I'm still mad or not.

I almost reach out to hold her face in my hands a few times, but always decide against it because I don't know what I'm allowed yet. It's our first time seeing her wolf, so I don't know its preferences yet, or what Y/N is willing to allow despite her not being in full control at the moment.

Her wolf wanting my attention doesn't mean that Y/N wants it, or am I simply afraid of a possible rejection? I don't know anymore, I just don't want to make things worse.

It's Yoongi who ultimately decides for me when he sidesteps until he's standing next to me with her big fluffy paw right by my shoulder. His windy salty sea smells like he's getting annoyed by my hesitation, and I fully understand why he'd feel that way. It bothers me too.

I make eye-contact with the wolf as the elevator's doors open, and she allows herself a shy lick to my cheek before facing the other way, causing my heart to burst with love and relief all at once. Does this mean she forgives me?

Yoongi doesn't say a word as he enters the small space first, but he does sneak a few glances to see how the two of us interact once side by side once more while Namjoon smiles after pressing on the right floor's button, his back against the wall to observe how we behave with one another as a pack.

This is new for him after all. He likes that he can see what our pack is like at the moment, and he likes to imagine what it might be like with him by our side from now on. How will it change as the days go by, as we make memories with one another? He's excited to find out, and so he watches with fascination as we simply exist within the boundaries of his life.

Y/N's grunts eventually begin to fill the closed room as we start going up to reach the beta's floor, and I bite on my bottom lip before daring another look at her, which shows her already staring at me with her dark, round eyes.

She grunts again, then licks my cheek a second time before turning her head the other way like she did earlier, her tail thumping against Yoongi's hips with the strength of her amusement. Is she trying to tease me right now?

"She's a playful one, isn't she?" Namjoon muses with a small grin on his face, something that seems obvious to him with the sight currently playing out in front of him. He wouldn't know how unusual this is for us, seeing as he didn't see her state during the last two weeks.

His comment catches me off guard, it really does, because I don't know if she's the kind of alpha to be playful or not. Or I didn't, until now. This is so new, both to Yoongi and I, that we don't know how to react just yet.

How often was she allowed to have fun in the past that it's coming out only when she's in this form? The pressure of her responsibilities and the expectations of the people around her must have been crushing, I wish I could've done a better job to make her feel safer at home.

Yoongi and I don't reply, our mind having gone in a similar direction and leaving us to feel quite disturbed by it, and though Namjoon seems to be able to read us like we're books he knows by heart already, he doesn't say anything either, instead leaving us to our thoughts.

It gives him an idea of where we stand as a new pack, and it's making him understand that there's still a lot to be done before any of us can fall into a functioning and healthy routine, starting with helping Y/N to process her trauma and separate her worth from it, as Yoongi had named earlier on the road.

The doors open with a ding and the beta leads the way down a large marbled hallway until we reach a door decorated with an art piece that looks custom-made for him, stained glass that depicts a wolf running in an endless field of flowers. It's really pretty.

He enters the pin code, then pushes the door open until it reveals a modern interior that appears to be filled with even more arts of all kind. It's like his work-museum wasn't enough, and he decided to have a home-museum as well.

"Please come in, make yourselves at home" he muses with a deep, grounding voice as he enters inside after mindlessly removing his shoes in the entrance. He walks to the kitchen, then grabs glasses while Yoongi and I follow in his steps, door closing after a push of my mate's hips.

Yoongi puts Y/N down on the floor to give her more freedom, and her paws make a muffled noise as she begins to sniff her way around, from the shoes rack to the living room, and then down a hallway where every doors appear opened. Hopefully she won't break something with that size of hers.

"You have a very nice home, Namjoon" I comment as I join him in the luxurious kitchen, it doesn't look like it serves very often, to be honest. Yoongi's right behind me and accepts the glass of water he's handed while I get the other one.

The beta looks around us at my compliment, eyes shining with the same pride that filled him at the museum.

"Thank you, Seokjin. I discover so many art pieces with my job that I find myself always bringing more back home. I'm already lacking space for the new ones I found recently, I had to put them in storage. Don't worry about Y/N, I saw her going into the hallway" he states when he finds us glancing there again. "She can make herself at home, and the same goes for the two of you".

I sigh softly, eyes constantly glancing over to where she went despite his reassurances. I'm not worried about her doing something bad, I just wish I could stay by her side. Her wolf showed signs that she forgave me, but I need to hear it from Y/N too, otherwise, I will not be able to relax.

"Go and have a look, Jin" Yoongi eventually utters with a rub of his hand over my shoulder blades, unable to endure this tensed ambiance anymore, and teamed up with Namjoon's encouraging smile, my feet move of their own volition as I walk the same path she took a moment ago.

Her scent guides me to the room at the end of the hall, and upon closer inspection, I find out that it's Namjoon's bedroom, the large imposing bed beneath the tall arched window looking like the perfect place for a big wolf to take a nap.

Her face is the only thing peeking out of the thick blanket covering her body, and when I hear the purr that sounds like a snore echoing softly to my ears, I find myself wishing so dearly to join her for a sweet cuddling time.

I slowly walk over to the bed where I sit besides her before running a gentle hand through her fur. Her rosemary is back to its normal vibrant aroma, though it's also decorated with Yoongi's salty sea and Namjoon's pumpkin spices due to her rolling in his blankets before settling in her current spot.

All that's missing is my own scent. My lips pucker out a bit as I feel my eyes turn watery, which I wipe with the back of my free hand, unaware that her eyes have opened just in time to see the wetness shine down my cheek.

Her low whine startles me, and the next thing I know, she's pushing herself out of the blanket to cuddle up to me, her big head forcing itself beneath my chin and making a pressure there to get me higher up on the bed.

I scoot up awkwardly with her insistence, only to let out a breathless gasp when she drops her weight over my torso in one jump so she can have her face right in front of mine. Her eyes are clear and sharp as she takes me in, the night shade of her fur giving her an elegant look that reminds me so easily of her alluring human appearance.

Then... she does nothing. She only stares, and stares, and stares.

Realizing that she's offering me a chance to speak my mind, I carefully raise both hands to hold her pretty head, fingers cupping her tilted ears for a massage that might hopefully gain me some cuddle points before the day ends.

"I'm sorry about earlier, baby" I finally let out what I wanted to say ever since I found her shifted form. "I got mad at you when you needed kindness and love and I hurt you. I scared you, made you feel a type of way that I never wanted you to experience because of me".

She blinks slowly and I continue, despair easing out of me with every words I speak in the form of tears. "I lacked the patience that I promised you and I feel terrible about it. You're in pain and struggling to heal, and it hurts me that I can't do more for you. I want to help, my sweetest doll, but I really don't know how anymore".

She doesn't react right away, but the intelligence in her eyes shows me that she heard and understood everything I said, so I give her all the time she needs to figure out what she wants to do while I keep caressing the base of her ears.

I can tell that Yoongi and Namjoon are standing on the other side of the door and listening in, their soft breathing not going unheard despite the distance, though it doesn't bother me. It rather feels like moral support, and I'll take anything they give at this point.

Her head flees my grasp and her wet nose softly nudges against my cheeks to get the tears. Once satisfied, she rests her head besides mine and nuzzles against my hair with the sweet vibration of her purrs going straight for my heart.

She's trying to soothe me the only way she can, and that spurs me to hug her tightly like I know we both need, half of her body still over me, heavy and comforting. The softness of her fur has a way of consoling my touch-starved skin, and I wish we could stay like this forever.

"We'll get through this, baby. No matter how hard the path ahead may be, and if we have to get outside help, then we will. There's no shame to be had in getting help when needed. I for one believe that I'll need some guidance in order to offer you the right support" I murmur against her cheek, and she nods slowly before crawling closer into my embrace.

Yoongi's quiet steps bring him by our side, and I raise a sheepish gaze to meet his. Is he still mad at me? He signs softly as he sits down, one hand over Y/N's back while the other grazes my cheek as he pushes some short strands of hair out of my face.

"We could all do with guidance. Talking to someone about how we feel and getting educative feedback would be good for all of us" he adds to support my claim, and though we both feel her rosemary turn unsure about what was said, she nods again, always so trusting when it comes to us.

Namjoon's body loses its tightness at the sight of his mates finally talking this through in his bed, his scent cradling us in its embrace, a detail that he likes more than he would have ever thought. He clears his throat before his mind goes into daydreaming of the future.

"I know someone who's claimed to be one of the greatest therapists around the area. He's a very skilled omega who specialises in wolf trauma, should I give you his number? I never met him myself, but I got to have a few sessions with him over the phone in the past and he's a good man".

So quickly do Yoongi and I tense at the mention of him being an omega wolf.

"I don't think getting an omega as her therapist is such a good idea, Namjoon" I mumble from where I'm lied down beneath our girl. I can't see the beta, but I sure am giving him quite the sight, I'm at least positive on that.

Namjoon's lips purse lightly. "I understand why you would think that, Seokjin, but I strongly believe that meeting a good omega could, on the opposite, be of help to her. Not all of them are bad, it's only a shame that she got to meet all the toxic ones. Hoseok is very kind and has a soothing quality to him that I think could be quite positive for her".

I stare at Yoongi, brows furrowed in a concern that he echoes. I get where he's coming from with his belief, and hearing what he said, I do want to believe that it could benefit her. I just don't know how she'd feel about getting help from a second gender that harmed her all her life this quickly.

She was already hesitant about getting therapy to begin with due to her belief that, as an alpha, she needs to be perfect in all and every spheres of her life.

When her wolf suddenly tries to escape my hold, I open my arms with confusion and watch as she runs into the beta's walk-in closet in a straight line, looking like she has a goal to accomplish now that our conversation reached a point of uncertainty.

Yoongi helps me into a seated position while Namjoon chuckles as he joins her in the neatly organized room where he keeps all his clothes, shoes and accessories. It's something that Yoongi and I have talked about getting in our future home, as we're in urgent need of more space for all of us.

"Want something to wear, hun?" he asks her, which gets confirmed when she grunts softly, a harmless sound that fills my soul with life.

"I thought so. I got this here, it'll be a bit long on you but it should fit, if you want. You're too short for my jeans and joggers, but I have these shorts that should be fine. Do you need underwear? Ah... this is a silly question, forgive me. Let's see what I have first".

My eyes widen as Y/N's clothes resting on the passenger's seat flash back in my mind. I completely forgot to grab them before getting out of the car and inside the building. It can't have been comfortable for her to undress in the vehicle before shifting, she must have felt so helpless, my poor baby.

She makes a sound, and Namjoon hums.

"Well, it probably won't be the most fitted for you, but this is the closest to your size I've got as they're too small for me. I can give you a tank top to put underneath, I'm afraid I don't keep bras around. If it's not enough... I have this hoodie here, the material is thicker. It'll be hot but that's why I have air conditioning, right?".

An amused snort leaves her then, and Namjoon chuckles too. "Socks are here, you can choose the pair you want. If you need anything else, feel free to have a look around and take what you want, I don't mind. What's mine is also yours".

The beta walks out of the closet once sure that he's covered everything, then closes the door behind him after turning on the light for her. He smiles at us next, and a human noise from the other side lets us know that she shifted back to her other form.

"Thank you for sharing your clothes with me, Namjoon. No one thought to grab mine from the car before leaving earlier- I'm not mad about it, though, really. Your clothes smell nice, they'll do the job well" she says, making sure to reassure me about the forgetfulness, she knows it wasn't on purpose.

"I'm glad to hear it" Namjoon hums softly, looking pleased to have one of his alphas wearing his clothes so soon, Yoongi and I can see it in the way he's preaning in front of us like the cutest beta we've ever seen. He's a big softie.

It doesn't take too long for her to get dressed, and when she walks out of the closet in her new outfit, hair slightly disheveled but still flowing so beautifully around her face, my entire body tilts her way, already needing her back in my arms.

The t-shirt Namjoon gave her is so big that it looks like a dress on her, and she went for the hoodie after all, needing that extra layer to cover her chest. The shorts underneath end a little over her knees, and she chose white socks to keep her toes warm.

Seeing her this way makes me wonder why I never made her wear my clothes before. This will have to change, and the burst of pheromones that fills the room is proof enough that two alphas are more than agreeing with that observation.

Her bashful eyes fall on me then, and she hesitantly climbs back on the bed before letting herself plop down in my arms with the help of my inviting pheromones. The comfort this brings me is immense, and I breathe in deeply as she melts in my embrace, face tucked in my neck where she belongs. I softly move her so she sits in my lap, legs on either side of my hips, wanting her closer than ever.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Seokjin" she eventually murmurs, sounding ashamed of herself. "I didn't mean to speak badly about myself and make you mad, it's just... the words left my mouth before I could stop them and then it was too late to take them back, I didn't mean to disappoint you".

"Oh, doll" I sigh against her temple. All of this could have been avoided if only I'd done a better job at dealing with my surge of anger. It was never my intention to hear any kind of apology from her, especially not when I was the one in the wrong.

"It wasn't your fault, not even close to it. You didn't do anything wrong, Y/N. I'm sorry for getting mad at you, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I promise I'll do better from now on, this will never happen again".

She snakes her arms around my waist before squeezing tightly, and it feels like she's hugging my heart itself while freeing it from the tormenting vines all at once. I never want to get angry at her like I did ever again.

"I'll get therapy" she finally utters, though weakly. "I don't like that I'm making things harder for everyone, so I'll meet that Hoseok. If Namjoon says he'd be good for me, then I'll believe him. I'm not getting anywhere on my own, I can see that now".

I press a strong kiss to her head, feeling so thankful that she's willing to be brave and give this a try. Yoongi ruffles her hair softly, and I even get a kiss on my forehead, which I really needed from him. I was afraid he would've been too disappointed to show me affection today.

"I'll give him a call tomorrow and see if we could set out to meet him soon, how's that?" he says, words that have her peeking up at him with a pout. She bravely nods her head before hiding back in my neck, and he kisses her shoulder before gazing at the ever patient Namjoon.

"I'll give you his number later, his business card is in the car so I'll walk you out when you want to leave" the beta answers the unspoken question, then motions for the door. "How about we sit in the living room now? It'll be less crowded than on my bed, not that I mind the sight".

Your POV

I blink softly at Namjoon's offer, just now noticing that he's still standing against the wall while the rest of us are on his bed.

He's been kept aside from our trio since the very beginning, hasn't he? That makes me feel really bad all of a sudden, I didn't mean to keep all the attention on myself like this. What's more, I've shown him a very weak alpha since earlier, haven't I? How embarrassing.

"I think that's a very good idea, the living room would be better" I let out shyly as I try to sit out of Seokjin's embrace, which he allows with a pursed smile.

"I'm sorry for using your bedroom without your permission, Namjoon. My wolf went for the most comforting place as soon as Yoongi put me down, the scent was too hard to resist" I admit with a blush that the beta would eat up this instant if only he could.

He instead offers me a hand, then pulls me into his chest without so much as a warning when I accept it.

He grins with satisfaction upon seeing my red face from so close, and he leans down to peck my cheeks with a pleased rumble seeping out of him, especially with the way my scent fluffs up, rosemary perfumed everywhere around him with the aroma of vanilla in its clutches.

"Never apologize for something like that, hun. I will be one happy wolf when I get to sleep in my new mates' scents tonight" he croons near my ear, our heartbeats loud between us, pumpkin spices smelling like they were made into heart-shaped pies all over the place.

"That's a relief" I murmur before adding, face still pressed against his huge torso, "I also wanted to say that I'm sorry for showing you this... this side of me today when we just met. The fact that I'm an alpha who doesn't really... act like it sometimes. I wish I'd shown you the better me".

He pulls back slightly to stare at me with a serious look on his face, confusion in his dragon eyes. "What makes you think that you should apologize to me for something as precious as this side of you? What could possibly make me feel like an apology is needed?".

I bite on the inside of my cheek as I meet his gaze, does he really not mind that I'm not like Seokjin and Yoongi? They've been very accepting of my unusualness, but I would've expected that a beta would be a little... I don't know, caught off guard?

I know for a fact that omegas would never be able to rely on me if they saw me like this.

Namjoon slides his hand over my hair, down my nape and then back over my cheek, teeth biting on his tongue before he sighs deeply. His eyes look right into my own, needing to make sure I'm listening to him before he speaks his mind.

"Y/N, you might be an alpha, but first and foremost, you are my mate. I don't care about the norms that society appoints to second genders, not everyone is able to handle what they were made for and that is perfectly fine" he begins with a profoundness in his tone.

"You should never feel like your worth depends on whether you can prove yourself worthy in the eyes of the world or not. Especially not in front of me, Seokjin or Yoongi, or anyone else for that matter. Alphas are so much more than what they're made to be at school".

Is Namjoon an angel? Because this feels like the kind of thing an angel would've said.

Our two other alphas join us as he finishes talking, and I look up as Yoongi presses himself against my back, locking me between him and Namjoon. "If one of our mates ever looks down on you because you are not what they expected of an alpha, then they have no right to be part of this happy and loving pack".

"And there will be no exceptions" Seokjin states matter-of-factly. "Whether they are omega, beta or alpha, I will not allow anyone to disrespect any of the wolves under my care. This I make my utmost responsibility".

My pack alpha leans down to kiss my lips softly, hands cupping my cheeks so I can stare him in the eyes. "You make sure to be happy and comfortable, sweet doll. Don't worry about anything else, we'll take care of the rest".

My eyes slowly fill with unshed tears, and the three men smile softly.

"See, we're all thinking the same" Namjoon muses with a smile that reveals two beautiful dimples. "So I don't want to hear another apology for something having anything to do with you being yourself. Do we have a deal?".

"Guys" I utter tearfully, lips pursed to hold in my tears. "W-we do have a deal. No apologizing for being myself".

Pleased pheromones make me relax between the three of them, rumbles of purrs stealing the last concerns from my mind. Namjoon's beta pheromones aren't as strong as the alphas, but they're soft and comforting, just like Woozi's.

"Come, let's talk in the living room. I'm not a good cook, but if you could allow me to keep you here for dinner, that would make me very happy. I know a good place nearby that does the best everything. They have just about anything you could want, and they do express delivery".

With my three mates leading me out of the bedroom and to the better lighted area of the unit, Yoongi makes a curious sound. "If Y/N and Jin are fine with it, I am too. It would be a shame to part ways so soon, especially since we don't know when we can see each other again".

"That's what I'm saying. My work is going to keep me busy for the next couple days, and I'm sure you are busy as well. The weekend is still a ways to go, but we could make plans to meet again then. We could do something fun, like going to the beach, maybe".

"Oh! Yoongi, the beach in our hometown! We should bring Y/N and Namjoon!" Seokjin exclaims, suddenly looking as if he might start jumping on his toes if given the chance. He looks so excited at the thought of going back there and it's an endearing sight.

"That's fine with me, we haven't gone there in years" Yoongi says with a loving smile. "It's pretty far from here though, we'd need to rent a hotel room and stay the night. Should we get a suite with two queen beds? Would sharing a bed with us make you uncomfortable, Namjoon?".

"Do I look like I would reject an occasion to spend the night with my mates? I would love to share a bed with you. Let me cover the expenses since the outing was my idea to begin with. We could go using the same car".

"Well... fine, we'll take care of the meals for the road, then".

"What about me?".

"You stay close, babygirl, that's all we need from you".

NEXT

love is in the details.

after years of being married and living together, you two have settled into a little routine. what’s the little moments that make your life special?

genshin characters x reader 

brushing each other’s hair in the morning

early in the morning, regardless of whether either of you have to go out or not, you help brush each other’s hair. if you’re in a rush, he’s groggily following you into the kitchen, hairbrush in hand. you’ll be sitting there eating breakfast while he’s standing behind you trying to manage your bedhead.

his touch is gentle, loving as he files through your strands. if you have a specific hair routine in the morning, he’ll do that for you. rubbing your favorite hair oil in his hands, he’ll gingerly comb it through your hair, massaging your scalp in the process.

and you’ll brush through his hair and try to micromanage the little tufts that stick out. when you’re finished, he’ll turn around to give you the softest kiss on the forehead and say “thank you, love.”

when you two know neither of you are going out for the rest of the day, you’ll pull out your collection of flowery clips you saw the other day at the market and tie his hair up in multiple silly little ponytails decorated with butterflies.

even if he doesn’t like it, he’ll never tell you. not when you look so happy, content with making a mini ponytail that made him look akin to a unicorn. instead, he’ll sit still and look pretty, watching through the mirror’s reflection as you clip his hair back with a giggle. his eyes will soften, like you’re the most precious thing. 

kaeya, kazuha, diluc, zhongli, baizhu, albedo, alhaitham, xiao

 brushing your teeth together

it doesn’t seem like a big thing, but you two make it a point to never brush your teeth without the other. not if you can help it, at least. when one of you gets out of bed before the other, whether it’s because you have something you need to do or you’re making breakfast, the other will quickly follow suit. 

when your eyes accidentally meet each other’s in the mirror, he’ll raise his hand to ruffle through your hair. and depending on his mood, he might put you into playful headlock, not letting go until you squeeze the fat at his waist. 

sometimes while you’re doing other things, he’ll come from to tug at your wrist, signaling that he needs to brush his teeth after eating something sweet. he won’t say anything, but the two of you have quickly reached a silent understanding. 

and if he’s feeling a little bit annoying that day, he’ll press a messy kiss on your cheek. you’ll groan as you clean the toothpaste off your face but he’ll just smile smirk cheekily at you as he tries to dodge your own kisses. 

in the midst of your scuffle, if toothpaste lands on your shirt you’ll point at it and laugh together. 

some days, when you’re sad, you find it hard to keep up with personal hygiene. there are days where it feels too hard to get out of bed and take care of yourself, but he’s always there to make self-care seem just a bit easier. 

childe, thoma, tighnari, scaramouche, kaveh, ayato, gorou, alhaitham

singing songs in the kitchen

when you two are cooking, the two of you will sing together. it’s not some loud thing. if one of you has a song stuck in your head, you’ll hum it in harmony as you fry the eggs. 

occasionally, you two will break out in full-on concerts. you’ll pretend that the spatula is your microphone as you preform a grammy-winning duet. as you wait for the pot the boil, you’ll dance as if you’re on stage in front of thousands. 

as time passes, you guys end up leaving a notepad and pen somewhere in the corner. while you’re cooking, baking, or simply getting a snack from the fridge, if you have some kind of song/lyric idea you’ll messily scribble it down and be on your merry way. 

and so, you two probably have a couple albums worth of silly songs. sometimes you write it together, sometimes you’ll pass by and check to see if he added something new. sometimes the songs are about the new cooking recipe you’re trying out, sometimes it’s a sweet love song. 

either way, the two of you are jamming it out in the kitchen. whether the two of you are cutting vegetables or stirring the pot, you two are in harmony. 

venti, kaeya, kaveh, kazuha, cyno, childe, itto, thoma

playing little pranks 

when you least expect it, he’ll switch your rings. just to see if you’d noticed. he’ll give you at least a couple of hours (at most a day, but that’s only if you’re really busy) to notice. if you do, he just smiles cheekily and switches them back. if you don’t, he’ll pout and ask for a kiss to make up for it. 

when you’re feeling overworked and burnt out, he’ll walk into the room with a glass of water and some fruit. he’ll give you a kiss for good luck, nuzzling his nose into the crown of your hair and walk out swiftly as if he was never there. 

if you don’t look up fast enough to catch him before he’s out the room, you’ll miss the fact that he’s wearing your bra outside of his shirt and walking as if he was on a runway. when you do, you’re quick to act on it. you sprint out of the room with the biggest grin. by then, he’s heard your footsteps and is already on the run. when you catch him, you pepper him with hundreds of tiny little kisses.

“that’s what you get for taking my bra,” you say in-between giggles. 

he wraps his arms around your neck, peppering you with equally as many kisses. 

“i don’t think this is a very good punishment. i’m not supposed to like it,” he muses cheekily. 

when the two of you’ve calmed down, he’ll give you a final kiss goodbye before you return to work, recharged.

his little shenanigans might be distracting sometimes, but it’s because of him that you’ve learned the importance of stepping back and letting yourself breathe. 

venti, childe, kaveh, kaeya, itto, ayato

how the genshin men rizz you up

premise: although you two have been dating for some time now, they never keep trying to charm you. what are ways your boyfriend keeps you on your toes?

WILL get into your favorite books/shows and try to copy your favorite characters

sometimes while you’re just chilling, he’ll walk into the room reading one of your books or having your favorite show playing on his phone. and because your tastes aren’t always shared, you’ll raise an eyebrow in question. “i thought you didn’t like it.” 

he doesn’t say anything, just merely shrugs at you and simply goes on with his day. and after that point, whenever you try to playfully glance over his shoulder, he flinches away. you’re confused, but don’t really say anything else. you trust him. if he didn’t want you to know, you’d respect that. 

you’d never expect two weeks later to be greeted with the sight of him with a fake rose in his mouth dressed as your favorite character you’d been gushing to him about for the past two months. you’re 100% sure he ordered his costume right off of amazon, with the way it barely fits him.

“why hello there,” he greets, still with the flower in-between his teeth. outstretched in his hand is a bag of your favorite candies. there’s something about his wig that makes this situation seem unreal. even if your favorite character shared the same hair color as him, he still puts on the wig, as if to really sell it to you.

you don’t even bother trying to stifle your laugh. if your carrying anything, you drop it immediately to bend down, cradling your stomach. “oh my god,” you say in-between chortles, wiping away a stray tear, “you are so cute.” 

he pouts. “is it not good?”

you can barely contain your smile. “it’s perfect.”

“but you’re laughing. you’re not supposed to do that. you’re supposed to get flustered and play along while i sweep you off your feet.” 

you tenderly take the candies out of his hands and put it on the table, placing his terribly-placed wig down along with it. running your hands through his hair, you kiss him softly. he’s quick to reciprocate, quietly moaning and cupping your jaw. he matches your pace, if not a little more eager. 

“don’t you worry, you do that already.” 

alhaitham, zhongli, gorou, tighnari, scaramouche, xiao, thoma, ayato, baizhu

bluntly expresses his feelings towards you

almost painfully so. 

“you look sexy in that hoodie.” 

“i know,” you reply monotonously. “i also know that we’re in a grocery store right now and there are children here.” 

he’s not always straightforward about his thoughts, but on days he’s feeling especially affectionate, the words slip right through. 

“listen, i just think the way you wear them is really cute. not anyone can pull it off, you know? but you do it so effortlessly. it makes your butt look super squeezable,” he comments, grinning when you give him a glare. “your face in general is just very hot. it’s just my type. i didn’t even know i had a type. i think i have a crush on you, honestly.” he leans his head on your shoulder, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “you always know how to make me feel like a nervous teenager all over again.” 

“that’s very sweet,” you say with a chaste kiss on his cheek, “but i don’t know if saying this in the middle of the self-checkout is appropriate.”

he huffs, scanning the fruits and vegetables. “it’s fine if the children hear that, though, right? it’ll teach them to be more expressive.”

“i guess that’s true,” you humor him, “still, i’d appreciate it if we could enjoy this moment where it’s quieter.”

he contemplates before nodding. “okay, if that’s what you want.” he fixes his posture. “anything for you.”

you smile. “thank you.” 

when you get home, he continues to shower you in compliments. as he takes the large haul of groceries out of the car, he rambles. like a puppy, he trails after you as you unlock the door to your shared house, letting him inside to put all of your groceries on the dining table. 

“i just don’t think i appreciate you enough,” he mutters. “whenever you get me coffee in the mornings, i never thank you, but you spoil me as if i did anyway. i know sometimes i get mad at you for disagreeing with me but later on i end up regretting it.” 

he takes out the eggs carefully as if they were his own children and puts them in the fridge. “you’re always looking at the pros and cons for me, even when i don’t want to hear them. i love you so, so, so, so much. i appreciate you and respect you. even when you sometimes don’t want to cuddle.” he laughs, taking the strawberries out of your hands to put them away.

“i love our relationship dynamic, did you know that? because i know that. we’re always making sure we don’t go crazy. like that one time you helped me calm down when i was having a bad day. i love how you and i always tackle our problems together, whether they’re shared out not. you never make me feel like a bad person, just in progress. and i love how you trust me enough to open up to me, i know it hasn’t been easy but i appreciate that you’re always trying. you make loving you seem like the only right answer.”

by the time he’s done talking, you’ve put everything away. he ends his talk with tranquil silence, gathering the empty grocery bags and setting them aside for later use.

this time, you’re actually flustered. “where did all that come from?”

he doesn’t always get like this. sometimes he’s a little quieter, sometimes he gives you a small “love you” and it’s all you need to know. 

he shrugs. “i don’t know. i just felt like you needed to know and i had to tell you right away.” 

he gives you a little kiss like it’s nothing and goes to turn on the tv, leaving you speechless. in your previous relationships, romantic or platonic, no one had really taken the time to acknowledge your efforts so directly. you’d spend hours if not days worrying if your affections were equally reciprocated (or at least appreciated). being so openly appreciated was a new feeling that left you feeling open and vulnerable, which you were beginning to learn wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling at all. 

thoma, childe, itto, gorou, heizou, kaeya, kaveh, venti 

writes love letters to you

he writes them everywhere. on post-it notes, on pieces of scratch paper, on the margins of your work notepad (although you’ve had to hide them at some point because they were starting to get outside of the margins and you still needed them to write in). 

in these little notes, he’ll write all sorts of different things. whether it’d be how much he loves you, about a particular moment you shared that he felt was precious (he’d write it in specific detail, as if it were an excerpt from a novel), or any miscellaneous thoughts he believed was important to convey (”you looked really cute in that dress that other day. i love how you looked so happy in it.”).

he writes things as he thinks them. sometimes you two will be watching a movie together and he’ll have an ‘aha’ moment, get up, and grab a piece of paper to write in.  

and then he’ll leave them everywhere. 

everywhere. you once found a note just as you were putting your clothes in the washer. (”oh, i must’ve left it there.”)

one day, you end up asking him why he writes them, even though sometimes they’re not even intended to be read by you.

“i heard that you remember things better when you write them down,” he started. “sometimes i’d get little thoughts of you and i thought it’d be a waste to forget them.”

you open your mouth to say something but he continues. 

“on anniversaries and stuff like that, i always end up forgetting what i want to say. i’ll get so nervous or in the moment my mind will go blank. i don’t like that. so i thought that if i wrote them down, it’d help me remember exactly how to put my feelings into words.” he turns to look at you and beams. “and if they also help remind you how much i love you, then i’d say it’s an added bonus.” 

alhaitham, diluc, cyno, kazuha, albedo, baizhu, zhongli, xiao

makings kissing a game

whoever gives the most kisses wins. of course, neither of you are keeping track, but that doesn’t stop him from planting a big kiss on your mouth in the middle of the movie and saying, “fifteen points!” 

and naturally, not one to lose, you take up the challenge. you plant two kisses. that is where it escalates to the point where you two are trying to kiss each other without being kissed. it ends up with a lot of strange head movement that results in a fit of giggles. 

he kisses you on the cheek when he hands you your coffee like it’s a habit. in early mornings, when the two of you are still waking up, he’ll whisper a soft “five points” with a raspy voice. when you lunge to get him back for it, he’ll dodge, rubbing his eyes and pointing a little finger at you. “haha missed me.” 

on days you have work, if you don’t give him his goodbye kiss he’ll catch you on the way out. he’ll follow you groggily, silently. mid-way with putting your shoes on he’ll plant his lips on yours. his hand comes up to cup your face, gently caressing the apple of your cheek. you’re expecting him to murmur some amount of points at that point. but instead, he smiles into the kiss and hums. “i love you,” he whispers, “have a good day.” 

you end up leaving with a racing heart. although you’re used to his antics, he never fails to remind you how swoonworthy a simple kiss goodbye can be. 

venti, childe, ayato, heizou, tighnari, kazuha, cyno, kaveh, thoma, kaeya

All Fanfic Writers are invited! Especially those in a creative rut!

Comfort Fic Writing Challenge: A Triple Prompt Roulette!

Ready to write?

You can pick ANY fandom, character, ship, or length! The end goal is to create a lovely comfort, hurt/comfort, or angst/hurt/comfort fic for your readers to enjoy in the cozy season when we all especially crave that genre!

The challenge is to spin one, two, or all three of the roulette wheels below and to write a fic based on the prompt combos you land on.

This is a game meant to be fun and to tickle your muses; there are no deadlines, rules, or requirements! (And no prizes--sorry, lol!) Spin as many times as you like, until you land on something that inspires you!

Looking for pure comfort and fluff?

Start with Wheel #1! - Comfort Fic Elements

Want to upgrade to Hurt/Comfort?

Add Wheel #2! - Hurt Fic Elements

Shall we crank up the feels?

Throw in Wheel #3! - Angsty Phrases

Special Bonus Wheel for the Tolkien Fandom: Need help narrowing down your choices of characters? Tolkien Race

Suggestion: Get some follower/reader participation! Share your roulette results and start a poll seeking input on the fandom, character, or ship you should write about!

Happy Writing! Long live the Comfort Fic! <3

Please reblog to share the fun!

Darling.

Loki x reader — sick!fic, established relantionship.

No warnings, just fluff and comfort.

Loki takes care of you when you're sick and makes sure you feel better. He's really soft.

“I feel disgusting,” you say. The words coming out slurred as you struggled to breathe with your congested nose.

“Darling?” Loki asks, concerned. “Can I do anything to help?”

You don't want him to see you like this, in fact, you've been trying to ignore your sickness for a long time. 

You feel useless, you don't want to exist, the only acceptable thing to your mind is the thought of going to sleep, the aching pressure around your eyes begs to be closed. You're almost crying from shame.

“Darling,” Loki reaches around you, embracing his arms around your figure, even as you protest, he lifts you up in his arms. “You can't work like this. I know you're sick.” He watches your puffy face, all due to your crying and sneezing.

“No, I'm not, I'm okay,” your voice rough as you lie, fighting not to cough with your pained throat. “I'm not sick, I can do things just fine.” 

He still keeps you there, now making sure your face rests against his shoulder as he takes you to the kitchen, already preparing some tea for you two.

“Have you taken some medicine?” He asks and you keep your face hidden, ignoring the question. “You didn't?

“Don't be mad…” You begin.

“Why would I be mad, darling? Why would you not take your meds?”

“I don't wanna be sick, and I didn't know which ones to take, I took a pill but it didn't have any effect so I thought I'd just wait some more.” You're scared you'll sound pathetic to that, but Loki only rubs your back gently. 

Loki could sense the effort it took for you to talk, he keeps a concerned look on you as you only rest further to his chest. 

This is better, he thinks. She's accepting my help. My love.

Loki had a secret under his sleeve that could work, he could apply his healing magic to your tea — the magic his mother would give to both him and Thor when they got sick, on their younger days, the spell she taught him.

He remembers those days with nostalgic care, he keeps them in the depths of his heart for when his mind needs some kind memories, these parts are specially occupied with you, now. He misses his mother, but he can express the love he received in a new way.

You're shivering under his hands, so he conjures your fluffy, heavy blanket for you, covering you till your neck. 

He makes a mental reminder to prepare a warm bath as it's early in the evening, it'd help you feel better, and then he'd make sure you wear some warm clothes so you don't get any fevers.

“Love?” He asks you, your eyes are fighting to stay open but they're moist with tears from the cold. 

“Can't breathe,” you whine a bit in pain, closing your eyes and trying to rest but feeling the strong pang in your head.

“I'll make it feel better, love. I'm here,” He tells you, giving you a kiss. He was glad your temperature was normal as he felt it against his skin.

You cringe as his lips touch yours. “Don't kiss me… I'm gross,” your voice goes whinier than you wish for again, which he finds adorable.

“You can't pass me anything, my love. I'm a frost giant, I wouldn't get sick with mortal germs.” He gives you a kiss again.

“But I'm still gross though.”

“I could never find you anything close to gross, when I see you like this, I only wish to nurture you back to health, and make sure you're safe and loved, just as you deserve.” You try to hide your smile against his chest now, he can feel it, and it makes him beam with pride at making you feel a little better. “I hate to see you unwell.”

The tea is ready, he turns your body a little in his arms so you're facing the teapot as he makes two cups for both of you.

He makes sure you see the green sparkles leaving his hands as he puts your tea.

“I hope I'm making this right,” he blushes. “It's the spell our mother would pour on our teas when we were children, Thor thought it was disgusting.”

“Very good, really,” you joke around, smiling at him. “One of the few opinions I have, and little Thor thought it was disgusting.”

Loki gives you a tight lipped smile, but still smiles with his eyes too. He shakes his head.

“I think the magic is flavorless, the problem was just that Thor never really liked tea, and we just discovered a long time after,” he smiles at you. “So, my love, as I know you like this tea, I make sure everything is safe and good to your tastes.” He chuckles and you feel his chest move with the sound.

So you stay there, in his arms, watching his magic with a certain wonder, you'd never tire from this, he always loves the way you look at his magic, the way you look at him. It was never about the magic powers he carries, but the way you're the only person to look at him while he does it and appreciate him, just him, you like it when he does anything, you're the only one to look at him with this clear admiration your eyes always hold for him.

He quietly begins to hum a song for your ears, carrying you to the couch.

You move to take the tea and drink it. 

Loki touches your temple, he makes his fingers blue and —consequently, a little colder, just enough for your body to accept, reaching your forehead and keeping it there as you sip your tea.

He notices you're going quieter, just appreciating his acts, not really forcing yourself to speak anymore. He's glad, it makes him happy to see your body sliding slightly closer to him with each sip, probably almost too sleepy to notice. 

He conjures you the correct medicine, and you take it. With him kissing your forehead as you do so, like a little reward.

“I'd never shame you for being sick, you know,” He says, breaking the silence of the room. “I never want to see you feeling like you can't tell me again, even as your body starts to feel weak, even if the symptoms are just starting, tell me.”

“I will. I'm sorry.”

“I'm not mad,” he reinforces, quickly booping your nose, gently smiling at you. You stay quiet, he accepts that.

“How about a bath now?” The tea was warm like a balm to your throat.

You don't respond but complain with sounds of disapproval at having to move from the comfort of the couch, from under the cozy blanket.

“You'll feel better,” he comforts you, caressing your skin as he speaks in a low tone so as not to hurt your head. “I promise, just trust me.” 

He wraps his strong arms around your legs to push your entire body close to his, gluing you to him as he calmly princess-carries you to the bathroom. Patiently taking the time to hold you as he magically —to be quicker— makes the water warm enough for you and your tired body.

He helps you through the bath, bringing some things to make the bath time more relaxing like different soaps and a pink bath bomb.

“Bath bomb?” You laugh a little, glad the stinging in your head stopped a bit. You point to the product he held.

“It's fun, and I'm not used to these midgardian bath entertainments.” He gives you a kind smile and allows the comfort to surround you two as you take the bath together. 

He carefully washes your hair for you, massaging your scalp, hoping to show all his love through his fingertips and gentle caresses.

He moves down to your shoulders, your neck, pressing a bit harder in certain spots, then he slides down to your back with tender care. You hold your breath, and leave some moans of delight as your aching body feels the blessed touch.

“Are you feeling better, love?” He asks, you hum to agree, not wanting to ruin the moment. He muffles a laugh and keeps his loving touches.

Loki runs his hands across the other parts of your body with extra patience and passion, ignoring how sexual it could seem, he knows you're not wishing for it now. He still keeps a longer time washing you, and pressing his hands on your breasts, your chest, your stomach. Brushing among your thighs, anywhere he could show his love and feel your skin close to his.

He kisses your jawline, and moves your head a little to kiss you. The whole time was filled with loving little kisses, some all across your face, some on your lips as he couldn't have enough of your mouth, or enough of you.

The bath makes you feel clean and relaxed, you're allowing yourself to finally succumb to the peaceful affection he's showing you. It's almost overwhelming, you never thought you could have something like this, neither did he.

When the bath's over, Loki exits first to grab a fluffy, dry towel to wrap your body on. You got up and he immediately wrapped you in so you wouldn't face the brutal chilly air of getting out of the bath.

He takes you to the bedroom, your clothes are already on the bed. You tremble to think of removing the towel and facing the cold, but Loki makes sure that doesn't happen.

He puts you on a cozy green sweater, kissing your clothed chest as he's finished. Matching the sweater, he puts on you some warm pajama pants, then proceeds to kiss your stomach. 

He puts your socks on you, and gives a kiss to each of your ankles, almost reverently. Looking up at you with wonder, rubbing your legs. You almost weep at the sight, feeling overly emotional. 

After he's sure you're warm, he lets you decide on what to do next. You just want to sleep.

He turns off the lights of the house, and dims the one by the bedside table. He reaches for his book, this is one he's been reading without you, he thinks it's a bit too uninteresting to be shared, but now it might fit perfectly for the purpose of getting you to sleep.

You two created a habit of sharing your stories together, you love to sit around while he just reads for you. And whenever you read a story you really like, you get extra giddy to tell him every single detail about it, he loves it when you do so.

He knows how much you love his voice, and in moments like this, in which you need less loud noises, you can't help but pay even more attention to how soft his voice is as he speaks. You could listen to it for days, and thankfully, you can really listen to it all day, for days, he's yours.

He cozies you two under the sheets, the only light being the one by his side, so he can read to you, he makes sure it doesn't bother your eyes.

He holds your body on top of his, keeping a light hold not to pressure your skin, allowing you to rest your head on his neck, unbothered by the little sniffles of the remains of your sickness. He'll make sure to check some more spells later —unharming to humans, to be certain you get even better health soon after you drift off to sleep.

“I love you,” you say. He stiffens a little because it comes unexpectedly, then he relaxes. After all this time, Loki's still unused to these words.

He still gets surprised.

His expression softens and he can only hope you feel all the love radiating off of him.

“I love you, darling. Now rest, you'll feel better as soon as you wake up.” 

He begins reading to you from where he stopped, taking pauses a few times to explain some details to you, quietly. You pay attention to the sound of his voice, and his chest moving under you with each word he speaks, until you drift off to a comfortable night of sleep.

This is my apology for not having posted anything this week because I, once again, got sick, so I wrote this! Oh to have a Loki taking care of me.

I hope it can bring some comfort to you all!

Taglist: @mischief2sarawr @dangertoozmanykids101 (I don't know if it's ok to tag in a sick!fic but it's ok if you don't feel comfortable with it ♡)

I, too am kinda going through it rn and i would like to be small enough to be held in both hands.

On a better note, since i have been feeling ✨bad✨ i have been working on my comfort fic (i may have stayed up til 5 writing but shhhhh) and its almost done I just need to write the conclusion- im so excited to share cause its just really sweet.

So yea, I will see you guys soon with actual writing updates.

Starlet- Oneshot

Kids im back with the milk-

I am working on so much behind the scenes shit right now but this got done first, next we will probably get more bloodlusty vampires unless I suddenly decide different.

But GUYS I FINALLY WROTE COMFORT-

Like its angsty at the beginning but they need a reason to be comforted- d Uh

Please for the love of mE - emjoy :3

All Akari needed was the stars, they were a constant in an ever changing world, listened to her problems when she had no one else, creating beauty even in the darkest of times.

What she really needed right now though... Was a hug... A friend... Someone to tell her that things would be ok...

All she wished for in that moment was for that to be..

The trail of a comet flashed above her for a brief moment, wisping away almost as quickly as it had appeared.

she heard a vast wind rush overtop the trees, turning to look she couldnt see anything, -there wasnt any wind before... - She thinks.

A deep chuckle riverbates through the still air surrounding her, and she stiffens.

"So you're the mortal who summoned me... Such a strong pull, and such a bright aura, oh! lavender colored, what a sight ~ you certainly are quite a wondrous little thing, my, my...."

A shift in the air brings Akari's attention in front of her and her jaw drops taking in the sight.

There stands an enormous glowing being, bright white with flecks of golden stardust about them.

Their body starts to form and become more detailed and she can see their face and body take shape. Six limbs- four arms and two legs- take shape out of the glowing mass, Sharp white eyes open, a flowing tuft of hair floats above them, gently swaying like flames atop their head, and stardust dots their body like golden freckles.

"Oh, h-hello.." Akari said awestruck and nervous

"Hello little one, apologies for the exciting entrance." it said a bit embarassed trying to hide its excitement

It kneeled down and leaned forward trying to see the little human better, one pair of arms resting in their lap while the others rested, palms down in the grass

" its good to meet you, starlet, you may address me as Libra." it said in its airy tone.

Akari sat confused, but decided that this dream could be fun to engage with.

"Akari" she said, sticking out a hand towards the being.

Libra stared down at them and blinked in confusion.

" ah! This is your earthling welcome, yes!" they realised.

They reach out to the small woman, pinching her whole hand and part of her arm, before lifting it up and down slowly.

Akari grinns, the contact making her hand tingle with warmth.

Libra releases them and Akari thinks she sees a smile on their bright face.

"So... why exactly are you here?" Akari asks looking quizically up at them.

" you ,, dont know? You summoned me here with your wish!"

"My,,, my wish?? I didnt make any wishes ... "

Libra looks puzzled for a moment.

Akari goes to speak, but they stop as libras eyes glow blue, making a strange buzzing sound. They are no longer focused on akari, completely still.

After a few seconds Libras eyes blink back to white.

"ah! wow~ a rarer case indeed! It seems it was your emotion and thoughts that powered the wish, I knew I felt that strong energy in you, but enough to power a wish without a word being spoken ... " Libra said in awe.

"huh... Oh!- oh... "

Akari sighed, remembering her earlier feelings, her frustration and sadness.

"I, I think I know... what it was..." she said, resigned.

Libra tilted their head, giving the human a look of concern.

Akari didnt really want to tell a cosmic being a hundred times her size about her life problems.... But this was a dream anyway so...

"I have to move again..."

"mmm.. No thats not it .... Your aura didnt flare up...." they quickly interject

Libra looks down at the human with pity, truly wanting to help her. They lean forward a tad more.

" Whats really troubling you, little one?" they ask gently

Akari flushed in embarassment and shame, would this cosmic being judge her? Well...

"One of my roommates outed me as gay and now all the girls in my dorm think im a pervert-" Akari blurted

"They already started spreading rumors about me and reporting me to the landlord for stupid shit- so, I'm leaving before it ... gets worse...."

"Oh my... Thats certainly a predicament..." it sympathised but seemed confused , they continued.

"... Is humanity against happiness?" they asked mournfully, their light dulling a bit, seeming to know more than they were letting on.

Akari looked thoughtful for a moment, the cosmic beings words resonating with her.

"Wow,,, thats a... way of putting it... I mean, yeah, heh, every politician is against the queer community, anyone I try to get a job with or if I- lm just trying to find somewhere to fucking sleep, someone takes issue with 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 about me!... even when I tried to tell my family, they rejected me, too, haha! so yeah, your right, we fuckin' hate happiness."

She laughed a bit unhinged-ly while describing the absurdity of it all, the people she had encountered, the trials of her life, it seemed impossible to talk about without turning it into humor.

Akari rested her head atop her knees, looking goomily past the starlike being and letting out an indignant huff before falling onto her back and closing her eyes.

A moment passes and akari thinks she sees the immense light shift before she feels that same warm feeling, but, around her body?

Without a moment to think her body is hoisted up. As her eyes open she sees the towering form of libra, now holding her in their enormous open palm.

They flash her a pitying look before facing up, the other upper hand cupping around the confused human. Before she can even say anything, Akari is pressed down into the palm, the G force making movement near impossible, she cant see where they are going, only seeing the white light emenating from the enormous beings hands, she can only trust that the weird dream entity is as benevolent as they seem.

Akari can feel them coming to a slow stop as the force lets up and allows her to move again.

She tries to sit up, dazed , as Libra's hand lifts off her.

Looking around she can see nothing but immense darkness save for the being of pure light that holds her.

She turns to face said being, who looks excitedly at their passenger.

"hello little starlet~"

Libra said, its two overlapping voices echoing eachother.

"Hi, where the hell are we." akari snips, a bit jittery.

Libra dims again, shepishly pointing down with their upper hand while their lower pair fidgets nervously.

Akari gives them a confused look before they carefully creep towards the edge of her cosmic captors' hand.

Gripping the sides, they look over.

And immediately jump back, seeing 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢 below them.

" ah, I see." she says calmly.

"Just a few questions for ya;"

They inhale

"Why in the s h i t did you do this and also 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘨𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 ?"

" aha! Its all ok! You can breathe just fine, please dont freak out!!"

Dispite being concerned about oxygen, Akari starts to breathe rapidly.

" theres no way im - in space right now - oh my god i - could die."

At this point they had completely forgotten that they were supposedly dreaming, focused more on the 'being manhandled by a cosmic giant' and the ' being in space millions of miles above the earth' thing.

"Human please relax, I brought you here to relax.." libra tries to explain

" this is not - relaxing!'

She says between breaths.

Libra looks disappointed, this was such a nice spot to stargaze, they really wanted the human to see...

But there was something else it Could try.

Gently, the glowing being closed their upper hands over the panicking form in their palm.

Before she could react to being enclosed, Akari again felt that immense warmth that could melt her, all over her body it felt tingly and content, she felt her muscles relaxing despite herself.

Finally she let herself be consumed by the feeling, relaxing and not worrying about any perceived danger that had her brain reeling just moments before.

Just as she did this, the lovely warmth started to dissipate, pulling off her despite her grabbing onto one of libras bright digits, a silent request for them not to stop.

Libra snickered at the cute display, bringing the girl out of her stupor.

She jerked her hands back and tried to suppress the enbarrased blush that filled her face.

" Sorry..."

Libra said

" N-no your fine" she said sheepishly

" No.. For scaring you..."

"Ah, that. Well,, uh I guess you can fly us to space and shit and im assuming you ...Magicked me to be able to breathe despite lack of oxygen?"

" you got it!" they affirmed, their cheerful tone reappearing.

"And I had good reason to bring you here! Look !"

Their lower arms gestured to the darkness before them as they beamed down at the little human.

".... Uhhhh... Wow?" akari said confused

"can you see something I cant?" she questioned, looking back at libra.

"Oh! right."

Libra dimmed, voluntarily this time, until they were only about as bright as a glow stick.

Finally, akari could see why even a cosmic being would appreciate such a place.

From earth, smog and light pollution would block most people from clearly seing such things.

But here, above the ozone layer, Akari could clearly see the milky way, its soft trail across the sky lived up to its name, fading softly at the edges into the rest of the cosmos.even still it was so stark, the white path cut the sky open like a geode, its center sparkling with stardust that flashed different colors as if it was being turned in the light.

She stared in awe as Libra looked on with a soft smile, occasionally sparing a glance at its little passenger to make sure they were alright.

They let the moment pass before speaking.

" Starlet. In the vast expanse of the cosmos, there are disasters , black holes, collapsing stars and other destructive things..."

Its three free hands gestured wildly, illustrating their words.

"But even from those, beauty is born. This nebula, your galaxy, was created from a collapsed star, it exploded, causing all around it to be thrown into chaos and confusion."

A look of sorrow flashes on libras face for a moment.

" But still, your planet thrived, using what was left to build a new world; one filled with life, with community, with love. Life does find a way."

They offer a gentle smile in reassurance.

" I believe you will find that.... your life does as well." they conclude.

Looking back to her newfound friend, akari feels her chest warm, swelling with an overwhelming feeling.

She lunges at the curled fingers, giving the pointer and middle the hardest squeeze she could manage, doing her best not to tear up.

Libra gushes at the adorably sweet gesture, and they cant help themself.

They pull the human close to them, belringing her into their chest, close to their glowing core.

Akari feels herself enveloped again, a simmilar feeling as before, but now filled with adoration and positive energy coursing through them, an immense, all consuming, all encompassing hug of pure affection and amorousness.

Unlike the melting, relaxing feeling before, she now felt a stronger sense, she felt Libras intention, its emotion and power guiding her thoughts and feelings, helping her to embrace and bring forth her inner strengths, akari could feel her self esteem break through the shroud of frustration and pain that had entrapped it, it swelled within her and she felt empowered, appreciated, and... 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥.

these two babies make me feel all warm inside, they’re the sweetest :(

Illicit Affairs | Jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (nicknamed Candy)

Wordcount: 10k

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst; dating!AU, idol!JK

Rating: strictly 18+

Synopsis: Candy and Jungkook are getting to know each other, and though they have met only recently, their connection is already undoubtable and true. The comfort they find in each other is undeniable and soon every excuse to hang out is turned into a chance to bicker and blush together. What happens when he needs a new microwave and you suggest to buy instant ramen to test it out?

Trigger warnings: Candy and Jk are having sex together for the first time so they’re juggling with getting to know each other physically, emotionally and also dealing with their own mindpsace. Anxious switch!JK, switch!reader, Safe sex (condom), lots of making out, grinding, dry humping, hickeys and biting, lots of breast action, one single spank, masturbation (female receiving) overstimulation (female receiving), discussion of past relationship (stalking, blackmailing, general toxicity), premature ejaculation (?), oral sex (male receiving), hair grabbing, very light facefucking.

A/N: This took a long time haha! It’s a bit chaotic, and I’m not sure if it’ll sate all the JKxCandy requests in my inbox. I’ll still come around to fill those, as soon as I’m not dealing with ten thousand things at the same time hehe. Thank you for staying with me for so long. It is truly rewarding to receive asks about the characters and how they would behave in certain situations. I really like seeing how the readers interact with the characters! It’s so entertaining.

Special thanks to Louise from @justasparkwritings for betareading in such a heartwarming, detailed and invested way. Working with you was a delight 🥰

Anyway, lemme link my masterlist and remind you that PART ONE OF LAVENDER HONEY IS COMING ON THE 25TH!!!!!!!!! Check out the teaser here!

Also, a very mellow, tender music companion can be found here.

Enjoy 💜✨

Seguir leyendo

the ULTIMATE comfort fic. they gave off major IT COUPLE vibes even when they weren’t an actual couple, and I love it 🥵

Illicit Affairs — Namjoon

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 26k (and for now unedited I am so sorry I have no words left LITERALLY)

Genre: smut, fluff, tiny tiny angst here and there; dating!AU, idol!AU

Rating: 18+

Hello baby alpacas! I am so sorry this is super late and I know, I know, 26k? I can’t explain myself, there aren’t words right enough for this. I’ve started to write this probably in August, and I kept having Joon and Vixen going a little bit everywhere, they kept defying my plot ideas and in the end I just said screw it, let them lead. Here it is. It’s probably the best result I could achieve, all considered. 

No. I don’t think I will EVER write something this long ever again. But okay, it was sort of fun. LOL. 

Quick plot: We’re diving waaaaaay back, all the way to Love Talk. After the date of Love Talk, Vixen has sort of gone AWOL on Namjoon and he starts growing impatient. Taehyung takes him to the grand opening of an exhibition curated by the young interior designer and art connoisseur who is currently redecorating his apartment. Yes, it’s Vixen. Completely obliterated by lust and jealousy, Namjoon invites her to his place after the exhibit. It signals the beginning of a very long, very hot weekend. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Cheeze. First of all, jealousy and frustration. Loads of those. Swearing, alcohol consumption. Masturbation (male and female receiving, mutual), voyeurism, exhibitionism, oral sex (male and female receiving), unprotected oral sex, protected penetration (Yes, you should use protection for oral sex. If another person’s semen/preejaculatory liquid/vaginal secretions are about to enter your body, you must be 1000% sure they do not have STIs). Namjoon is big and it’s not entirely a good thing (aka painful penetration) lube, condoms, spanking, thigh riding, gradually increasing daddiness and subsequently daddy kink, switch!Vixen, brat!Vixen, daddy!Namjoon but also slighlyyyyyyy subby!Namjoon, marking and hickeys, cum play and cum eating, predator/prey dynamics, pinning, hair grabbing and tugging (male receiving), a few positions (missionary, cowgirl, spoons). I hope I listed everything. [jk choking, male receiving and facefucking, male receiving] On more emotional terms, both Namjoon and Vixen need commitment, it’s their first time with each other and they’re emotional, there are mentions Namjoon’s exes, Vixen has a moment of panic/cold feet as she realises she’s catching the feels, but Joon is catching them too. Also, LET YOONGI SLEEP AND DO NOT BOTHER JIN

Quick, here is my masterlist

And here is a small music companion (it’s actually a Spotify playlist to honour the queen brat, Vixen)

Enjoy 💜✨

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they are so sweet, they are so hot, and my little heart can’t take this

Train the Bunny | JJK | Part 1

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (nicknamed Candy)

Wordcount: 3.3k

Genre: smut, pwp, fluff (kinda), established relationship, idol!Au

Rating: 18+

Synopsis: the plot is sort of a joke…. Candy remembers she owns a pair of bunny ears and accidentally…. puts them on fresh-out-of-the-shower JK. Stuff happens…. 

Trigger warnings: Swearing, mild  petplay, dirty talking, praise/degradation kink, switch Jk, switch y/n, powerplay, brief spanking, very descriptive oral sex (female receiving), fingering, hair pulling/face fucking (male receiving), unprotected sex within an established relationship (wrap it before you tap it!!!), squirting, overstimulation, creampie, aftercare.

a/n: thanking my betas @nervous-moon, @joheunsaram . Also @dopesportsoperatorzonk (sorry for the super long wait and for tumblr eating your ask).

Here is my masterlist! Enjoy💜✨

Jeongguk stood in front of the bathroom mirror, too inviting for you not to swoon from the bedroom. 

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Every Step Of The Way | Regulus Black x Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader WC: 1,213 CW: heavy talks of depression, depressive episode, depressed reader, self invalidation, no use of Y/N. Author's Note: I've been having a hard time lately and I just needed a comfort fic, this is purely based off my own experience with depression and how I feel when I'm in a depressive episode. If you don't feel like me that's okay, mental health is different for everyone! Just remember you're so valid and so loved <3. Summary: You're just having a hard time but Regulus is always there for you.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

At some point your mind wasn't supposed to be your enemy anymore right? At some point the ‘teen angst’ was supposed to go away and you were supposed to be an adult with relatively healthy mental health right?

The crippling depression and anxiety was supposed to go away with puberty. At least that's what you'd been told, that things would get better and your mind wouldn't mess with you as much.That was what was supposed to happen, but when do things ever go as planned?

The only difference between now and your teen years was that you recognized the symptoms faster, you understood what was coming before it was fully there. Now every so often you can catch it, do things to make the bad thoughts go away or lessen, then other times… you would feel paralyzed.

The numbness would consume you, invite you in like an old friend, along with the loss of appeal to do anything. You didn't want to eat, drink, read, or listen to music. 

You didn't want to do anything and sometimes without even realizing you would spent the whole day looking into nothingness. 

Regulus would notice the mood change almost immediately. He would pick up on the sign and the overall change in your personality.

Not only would he notice because he was hyper aware of the behavioral changes around him (thank you Walburga. Sarcasm) but also because he dealt with the same feelings. 

The emptiness and numbness of it all, it wasn't until Pandora explained it to him that he learned that those feelings were not exactly ‘normal’. 

It was normal to be sad, to have a depressive episode here and there especially following a tragedy but it was the consistency that wasn't normal.

The feeling of emptiness that always felt like a shadow following you, the feeling of being the happiest you've ever been but still feeling that emptiness in the back of your head.

It was one of the things you both shared. Sometimes it wasn't a good thing. When both of you were in that state of mind it was hard to help each other, to be there for each other.

How could you stop someone from drowning if you're drowning yourself? 

But other times it was a good thing. You knew each other's signs, you two could pick up on the signs before the other person even realized that they were slipping, sometimes. It gave you time to either try and stop it before it went too far or just get prepared. 

This was one of those times Regulus knew he needed to prepare. 

He had seen you starting to detach for about a day now. Regulus knew this was going to be one of those episodes he couldn't stop, the kind where you were there physically but not mentally.

You just were floating through your days, you were on auto pilot almost the whole day; you weren't really listening, hardly responded and if you did it was short.

Regulus preparing for this meant doing a few things, taking a few days off work, letting Sirius, Pandora and Barty know that he wouldn't be really available so that he could focus solely on you. Making sure your favorite foods were home and ready to encourage you to eat, having some of your favorite movies, books, everything and anything accessible in case you were in the mood to do anything or if you just wanted to try and distract yourself for a while.

It also meant mentally preparing himself to be understanding and patient since it wasn't exactly his strong suit but he'd do anything for you. 

When an episode fully hits it isn't always you wake up and start to feel depressed. Sometimes you would be fine most of the day and then suddenly you were hit with a wave of nothingness.

Most of the time nothing would trigger it, nothing would happen, your brain would just decide that it was time to be sad, to be numb, you guessed.

“Mon Amore, would you like to eat something? You can have anything you want.” Regulus touched the side of your face and brought you out of your head. You just shook your head not really looking at him. “No, thank you.” You whisper.

He just nodded and sat next to you. He knew when to pick his battles and since you ate that morning he knew this shouldn't be the hill he dies on. 

The rest of the night was spent mostly silence with a few words exchanged here and there, Regulus was there ready and willing to do whatever you needed him to do to make you feel better.

He got you to eat a little eventually and you shared a shower with him. He had helped you wash yourself since you didn't have any motivation or energy to do so. 

By the end of the night you were both cuddled up in bed while Regulus ran his hand up and down your back just to let you know he was there.

He liked when you knew he was there, he felt like it helped even just a little, especially to make you feel a little less alone.

Eventually you broke the silence with a sight. “I'm sorry.” You felt regulus's hand stop moving, he stayed silent for a moment.

“Why are you apologizing? You haven't done anything.” By the sound of his voice you knew he was frowning, he knew exactly why you were apologizing but a part of him was hoping, praying, that he was wrong.

“For being this way. You shouldn't have to deal with this. We're not kids anymore, I should be over these feelings by now.”

Regulus sat up, making you sit up in the process, reaching over to the lamp on the bedside table turning the light on. “Do you choose to feel this way? Do you make the conscious decision to feel like this?” Regulus was looking you in the eyes with raised eyebrows waiting for a response.

“Not necessarily, but-”

“Exactly, you don't. You can't control your emotions. You didn't ask to feel this way nor do you choose to. There's no point in apologizing for something that you have no control over. Your brain is amazing and beautiful but sometimes it isn't the nicest to you and that's okay. Do you know why? Because even if your brain is mean sometimes it still makes you who you are and you're so amazing, mon cœur. We’ll take care of this together like we always do. It's going to be hard sometimes but it is not impossible, and I'll always be here with you every step of the way, because I love you more than anything, tu es ma raison de vivre, mon amour.”

Regulus cupped your cheek and whipped a few tears you didn't know you had shedded. All you could do was whisper a ‘thank you’ as you threw yourself in his arms. 

You fell asleep that night in Regulus’s arms while he whispered sweet nothing to you.

You weren't better by any means but you felt loved, you felt understood. You knew that no matter how hard things got, Regulus would be there for you, every step of the way.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

Hugs and kisses

Pairing- Peter Parker x GN!Reader

Summary- Sometimes even the strongest ones need comfort and Peter finds it in your arms.

Warnings- none literally, this is just a soft fic coz peter deserves all the love and hugs in the world, my poor english is a warning tho :’)

Word Count- 687

A/N- I thought of this while listening to ‘Sweet Nothing’ by Taylor Swift and here it is. Also I changed fandoms lol. dw i still write for harry potter but i’ll write for marvel too now. And this can be read for any peter but I imagined tasm peter here :3 Hope y’all like this <3

You were about to get into bed, after having done your nighttime skincare and changing into your pyjamas, when you heard soft knocks on your window.

You went over to open it, knowing it was Peter. Whenever he visited you after his night patrols, it was always near this time. You would go on about your day while he told about his and then went to sleep together while snuggled close to each other.

Today it seemed a little different. Because when you moved the curtains to get a look at him, his expressions were different from what they always were. Like he was upset about something.

You quickly unlatched your window and let him inside. You turned to face him and furrowed your eyebrows when he didn’t meet your eyes.

Something was definitely up.

“Peter, love, is everything okay?” you said softly, not wanting him to break. “You know you can tell me anything,” you start, wanting to break the silence, but he flinches at your voice. you let out a shaky exhale and step forward, reaching a hand up, slowly, like approaching a skittish animal, to press your palm to his cheek. he unconsciously chases the warmth, his hair parting to reveal his eyes, sadder than you’ve ever seen them. your heart lurches for him. “oh, Peter.”

He leaned in your touch and sighed in content. Slowly you lifted your other hand to cup both his cheeks while he looked on the verge of tears.

“I- I just needed to see you. He- he said that,” Peter couldn’t even bring himself to properly say that. After that random bad guy he had just fought told him he had attacked you, he needed to make sure you were okay.

“It’s okay, Peter. I’m here.” You said, voice still soft as you start to caress his cheek with your thumb.

Peter couldn’t keep it in anymore, as he immediately buried his face in your neck and held you tightly, as if he were afraid you’d disappear.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop your heart from breaking after seeing him in such a state. The way he sounded, the way you could feel his tears on your neck, you couldn’t help but shed some tears as well as you spoke soothing words to him.

Moments like these brought comfort to Peter. Him in your arms, you holding him tightly, speaking softly and trying to comfort him, he sometimes wonders what he has done to deserve this, to deserve you. Your arms were his go to place when things got hard, being spiderman wasn’t easy. And it felt great that you out of all people knew about him and still loved the real him.

Both of you stayed in each other’s arms for what felt like an eternity, with none of you wanting to let go of each other. But you didn’t mind it, Peter deserved all your love and affection.

After few moments, you slowly spoke, breaking the comfortable silence you both were in, “lets get you changed so that we can cuddle in bed. Sounds good?”

He seemed hesitant to let you go, but he loosened his grip and pulled away to look you in the eye, arms still loosely wound around your waist. He seemed almost meek like this—to the point it almost felt like you’re not looking at the strongest. Right now, it kinda just feels like you’re looking at a man—a man who has the entire weight of the New York on his shoulders. 

“Thank you, Y/N.” He said, his voice still wavering. “You- You’re everything. God I love you so much.”

You smiled gently at him as you cupped his cheek again, he kissed your palm, and you said, “I love you too, Peter. More than words can express.”

With that, Peter cupped your face and brought his lips onto yours, pouring all his love, affection, fears and everything he felt for you into it. You kissed him back with same passion, sealing a promise of never leaving him into this kiss.

Because maybe in that moment, this was all you both needed.

It’s once again time for a reread of one of my favorite AFTG fanfictions by @gluupor

This will be my 6th reread of this fic, it’s become a comfort read for me ❤️

The Beach

Inspired by The Neighbourhood's song.

[1,2k words]

a/n: I've been feeling sad lately and felt like I needed a hug so here we are. If you've been feeling the same, I hope you can find solace in my words ♡ (I didn't include what the reader was failing at in order for you to relate to it better, I hope you enjoy!)

summary: the reader feels like no matter how much she works to achieve her dream, it's never enough: she feels like a failure. so, she seeks comfort in Sanji's arms. use of nicknames and kisses.

Everything was going great. You thought you were at the top of your game, working hard to get what you wanted but… you failed. Instead of seeing the rise in your performance, you witnessed it hitting rock bottom.

Ever since you started this journey, you strived to become better. It was a rocky road with ups and downs but lately all you have ever been getting were failed results.

You knew you had the potential. Everyone on your crew knew it. Then why were you failing miserably? Just as you see that it gets better, the next it gets worse. You've been usually putting on a mask not to worry anyone but today, it hit you.

You don't remember feeling this helpless in a long time.

Knowing you could succeed but not being able to make it happen was making you question yourself and your worth. Other people seem to have it their way when they have half of your potential. So why can't you do it? You were trying day and night, giving it your best but it was never enough.

You were always confident about yourself when it came to it but now, you felt really powerless. You were the type to make everyone else around you feel safe and good about themselves but when it came to you, you felt like you had no one to rely on by your side.

You knew you had close friends who would listen to you and try to understand but you didn't help but feel like a burden whenever you shared your true feelings with someone. You were the friend who always helped people around her but never got the help she desperately needed.

***

Luffy, Nami, Zoro and Usopp were out, there was a festival in town; leaving you and Sanji as the only crew members on the ship. You were in your chambers when they left and Sanji was in the kitchen, as usual.

On his way out, Luffy told Sanji to cook a feast-like meal, not because there was a reason to celebrate; he just loved to have you all in a good mood and the way to Luffy's heart went through his stomach as all of you knew.

The rest of the crew was gone for almost two hours, making it easier for you to just sit with yourself and contemplate all that was happening around you. Why couldn't you succeed like you wanted just once? Was there something wrong with you?

Hours of sitting with the thoughts you usually avoid thinking and occasionally crying, you felt exhausted; your eyes were bloodshot and puffy from all the tears, the tip of your nose was slightly red due to all the tissues you've used.

You left your chambers in hopes of finding something to eat without letting anyone see you this way: You always liked to act tough when it came to your emotions. Plus if Sanji were to see you in this state, he would be so worried…

You thought he'd be done preparing the dinner by now but as soon as you entered the kitchen, you saw him: Washing a pan in the sink with the water running down the sink, a towel hanging on his right shoulder.

He seemed calm, humming a melody to keep himself entertained as he was rubbing the pan with a sponge while the dishwashing soap foams danced around on top of the pan, accompanying his brisk movements.

When he saw you, his calm demeanor changed fast. In a blink of an eye, his eyebrows became knitted and slightly tilted upwards, trying to understand what has happened to you.

Taking a quick look at his hands, he left the pan in the sink, dried his hands immediately using the towel on his shoulder before tossing it on top of the nearest countertop.

Seeing him like this made you feel guilty and you wrapped your arms around yourself, gently caressing the back of your left arm.

‘(Y/n), are you okay? What's wrong, are you hurt?’ He asked in a soft tone, looking at your body and face to see any type of scar as he came closer to you.

‘I'm fine Sanji.’

‘Don't lie to me. Your eyes… Have you been crying?’

‘I told you I'm fine!’ You exclaimed, tears welling up in your eyes.

‘Don’t shut me out like that princess, tell me what’s wrong.’ He whispered as he gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and caressed your right cheek which was stained with salty tears.

Shutting your eyes close, you leaned into his touch unconsciously; seeking the warmth it brought you. Being close to him always made you feel secure.

A few seconds later, you felt a wave of cold air on your cheek where Sanji’s hand was. It made you wince; struggling to open your eyes, you didn’t want to talk. Not yet.

Just then you heard him say,

‘Come here.’ He opened his arms on either side, welcoming you into a warm embrace.

Without wasting a second, you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your head into the blonde's shoulder. You felt so safe as he gently ran his fingers through your hair, letting your tears fall down your cheek and onto his blouse. When you pulled him closer he whispered

‘Shh it’s okay baby, I’m here.’

‘Am I not enough?’ you sobbed,

‘No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to succeed. I’m a failure…’’

He wrapped his arms around your waist to take a look at your pretty face. When you locked eyes, his heart shattered at the sight.

He quickly wiped away the tears and caressed your cheek once again, looking deeply into your eyes with a reassuring smile.

‘No, you’re not a failure. It’s okay to feel defeated sometimes but failure only happens when you give up.

‘But I feel so tired… It feels like there’s no point trying.’

He shakes his hand, pulls your head to his shoulder and holds you there tightly pressed against him.

‘Maybe you have to try another path to succeed… Or you just need someone to tell you everything is going to be alright ‘cuz it will be sweetheart, trust me.’ And he continued

‘You are so strong and intelligent. If there’s anyone who could do it, it’s you. So why waste your time thinking nonsense… I know you and your capabilites, so if you don’t believe in yourself then believe me when I say you will do it.’

‘What did I do to deserve you?’ You looked up at him with your glowy eyes and stained cheeks.

‘I was just asking myself the same thing…’ He confessed before placing a gentle, quick kiss on your lips before adding

‘Not everything in life is supposed to go perfectly, we all have our ups and downs. This moment isn’t going to last forever, just like none of the previous ones did. I don’t want to hear you call yourself a failure again. Understood?'

You nodded, sniffing your nose while looking up at him.

‘Good girl.’ He mumbled before connecting his lips to yours once again. This time it was more heated, passionate. After a few seconds you separated for air; your foreheads pressed against one another and your eyes were closed.

There was a sweet silence before he broke it off with an ‘I love you, (Y/n).’

‘I love you too Sanji, thank you for all of this.’

‘No need to mention, princess. Now let’s make you a hearty comforting hot soup…’