Bllk Angst - Tumblr Posts

— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

-

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

-

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

-

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

-

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

-

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

I miss the person i was 6.9k words ago

𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓

୨⍣୧｡ 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 : 𝐀 𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨 ‘𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬, 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭.’ 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝟐

୨⍣୧｡ 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐍𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐒𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨, 𝐀𝐢𝐤𝐮 𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐞

୨⍣୧｡ 𝐖𝐜 : 𝟔.𝟗𝐤

୨⍣୧｡ 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : 𝐔𝐧𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝; 𝐢𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫.

୨⍣୧｡ 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 : 𝐍𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬

୨⍣୧｡ (𝐀/𝐍) : 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠. 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝!

୨⍣୧｡ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬 : 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐍𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐢𝐤𝐮, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐀𝐢𝐤𝐮, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐚𝐞'𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥 : 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐝.

୨⍣୧｡ 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤. 

୨⍣୧｡ 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬 : @𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬-𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲.

𝐍𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐒𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨

'Miffy.’

'Hm?’ 'Sweet little bunny.’ 'Miffy.’

’ ‘S that?' 

'Miffy, miffy, miffy, run!’ you exclaimed, pouncing on Nagi, fingers set to work as you tickled his sides, making him squirm. That was probably the most beautiful laugh you had ever heard, his voice echoing through the walls of your shared bedroom after his nap. 

A memory that seemed so long ago. 

Keep reading

✎ᝰ ITOSHI RIN ; — he promised he would never make you sad. even new promises can be born out of broken ones.

࿄ ! warnings — gn!reader except for the usage of ‘girl’, angst & lots of comfort. sfw! / note. my first time writing for rin so go easy on me :,} he makes my heart so warm. enjoy lovies <3

arguments with rin were akin to a battlefield. it hurts more than anything when he spits venom in your face, relaying words that should never be said by a man to his woman.

perhaps it’s the fact that you know him so deeply that reassures a hopeful part of you - a part of you that loves the dark, teal-hued haired man. it’s so tumultuous the way rin can go from zero to a hundred in seconds and suddenly, you’re walking on egg shells around him.

this time though, he knows for certain he’s fucked up. he can see it in the way fat tears run down the softness of your pink cheeks, and in the way that you relinquish all your weaponry, baring only a white flag and your soul:

“you’re right, rin. what do i know?”

it’s been a day and half and rin feels like hot garbage. he’s taking advantage of every half time to see if you’d message him first and his fingers always hover and twitch over the keyboard before the screen inevitably turns dark at his lack of activity and all he can see is his own tired and regretful face staring right back at him.

it was always you who'd reach out and, while he would seldom admit this to anyone, you were a constant in his life, the one person who understood him better than even himself. and now, he could feel you slipping out of his grasp, feeling a sense of despair creeping in.

he’s moving like he’s on auto pilot for the tedious remainder of his practice and he’s realised that you both haven’t gone this long without speaking in a long while and it sucks. why wouldn’t you understand that he’s a working man? he - you both knew that this was complicated. he was a professional footballer now - on the precipice of surpassing his older brother, and could you truly understand all the pressures and expectations that came with it?

rin doesn’t even know the answer to that anymore. though, what he does know is that he’s treated a good girl bad. and he’d be damned if he let his inferiority get in the way of loving you like you deserve.

“rin? you good, bro? you look like shit.” says isagi and rin scoffs before grabbing the black haired man by his shirt and pulling him close.

“what the fu-?!”

“tell coach i’ll be right back. something’s come up.”

rin speeds out the building before anyone can protest, taking nothing but his desire for you. he just hopes he gets there on time.

but it’s not like you’re doing anything particularly profound yourself. having called sick from university for a second day in the row, you’re eating leftover curry from the nights before... the nights when you and rin were cuddled up and you were spoon feeding him this exact meal.

you couldn’t stop the tears from dribbling down your face and right into your bowl. you hate that idiot. you hate that your heart beats for him and him only, even though he makes you feel like this on the bad days.

‘but there shouldn’t be any bad days,’ you think and the wrists of your sweater mop up any salty tears and snot from your face.

you can’t help but wonder if this was a sign from the universe - if you were destined to go your separate ways, to become nothing more than distant memories of a simpler time, a time in which rin would’ve ate glass if it meant he’d never see you cry again.

“you don’t have to do that, idiot,” you giggle, “though it would be a good punishment. are you manifesting that for yourself?”

rin shakes his head that’s kneading against your bare tummy, your t-shirt having been ridden up so he could press his cheek against the warm skin of your belly.

“just shut up… i would do a lot of things so that you’d never cry,” he grumbles cutely, ears red and you run your fingers through his hair as he lets out a puff of air.

“i’ll hold you to that, rinnie.”

three hard knocks against your front door throws you out of your reminiscing and you quickly wipe and pat at your face as hard as you can to brush away any remnants of a sadness-fuelled crying session before padding away to open at the door.

“hi - oh.”

you don’t know why you’re so surprised to see him but to see him like this? all sweated up, out of breath and pink in the face were all symptoms that were reserved for his football practice. the rin you knew would never sacrifice his prime training hours just to see you-

“just give me a minute. you - you don’t have to let me in. but i just wanted to say i love you, y/n. and you deserve better than - than, i don’t even want to say it,” rambles rin, who’s short of breath and he doesn’t know if it’s from running all the way over to see you or if it’s from trying not to get distracted by how devastatingly gorgeous you look, even when he’s the reason for your heartbreak. you’re wearing the sweater that he got you and your eyes are all doe-eyed and glassy and your plump lips are pursed together.

“but i’ll say it anyway because it needs to come from me. you deserve better than me. and i’ll still want you regardless, even though i don’t deserve you. and i’m sorry. i’d still eat glass even if you want me to but it still wouldn’t be enough. i’m sorry.”

rin exhales loudly and closes his eyes for a moment so he doesn’t have to see the hurt on your face but all it does it prevent the anticipation of seeing your arms fly over his waist.

“you’re such an idiot, rin,” you sob, face stuffed in his jersey and he all but wraps two strong arms around and rests his face into your hair, wanting - needing to be engulfed by everything that you are.

“i still hate you for making me sad,” you say, all muffled and sniffly and he breathes out a little harshly at that, wincing but he knows he deserves more than a few pointed words from you.

“i hate myself for making you sad,” he murmurs and you sniffle even more.

“you should definitely eat glass after this,” you mumble and rin presses his lips into the crown of your head and hums.

“as long as it’s made by you.”

“shut up… you should, sniff, go back to practice,” you whisper after pulling your face from the comfort of your boyfriend’s warm and toned body.

“you’re sure you don’t want me to stay?” rin frowns and for the first time in almost three days does he see a beautiful grin take up your face and he has to stop himself crumbling into the floor while you nod fervently.

“seriously, you should go. i don’t want to be the reason why bachira and isagi start going off on you,” you giggle and rin’s lips upturn slightly and he lets out a half chuckle.

“yeah, you’re right. but i won’t be too long so… wait for me?”

“…ok,” you bite your bottom lip and rin holds back the dire urge to kiss you but given the circumstances, he decides not to overstep, already elated that you still want him in spite of his behaviour.

he nods again and goes to leave the vestibule of your home when you pull his arm back.

the dark haired man turns to look at you in confusion, “what-” but he is merely interrupted by your hands that grab at his neck and the push of your lips onto his own.

the way rin kisses back in reciprocity is almost instantaneous and too wild for you to keep up as his hands splay themselves across the small of your back to your waist. your mouth tastes like a faint hue of katsu curry and even so, rin can’t help but slot his lips over yours. you eventually throw your arms around his neck to get impossibly closer to the man and even though he’s smells vaguely sweaty, you can’t help but be addicted to the scent anyway. especially when he holds you like he can’t get enough of you and it makes a fire rumble in the pits of your belly.

“i don’t hate you by the way,” you say when you break apart the kiss to whisper on his lips and he hums, all placant and appeased from being in your arms.

“i know,” and rin leans down to kiss at you one last time and you push him away playfully.

“you should definitely go now. they’re gonna be on you when you come back,” you twinkle and rin can’t help but mirror the soft expression that sits on your face.

“i’ll see you later, y/n,” he nods, taking your knuckles to his mouth, and the action makes you roll your eyes and he smirks this time around.

“okay, okay, i’m gone.”

when you finally get to shut the door behind you, you saunter off to the couch to see a notification light up your phone.

rinnie <3: on my way back. i love you.

a salty droplet hits your phone screen but this time, it’s not a cause of sadness; more so, a cause of adoration for the idiot. your idiot.

you: i love you too, rinnie :) have a good rest of your practice!

the striker has missed approximately 30 minutes of practice by the time he languidly strolls through to the pitch and multiple sharp eyes land on him - despite his attempt at blending in to make it seem like he never left.

to say that the guys on the team lambasted him would be an understatement. rin makes a mental promise to never induce sadness in you again, lest he face the wrath of his annoying teammates. though he doesn’t really care what those idiots think.

he’d run out of a million more games if it meant he needed to make things right with you.

࿄ ! — all rights reserved © moominsuki. please do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend my work outside of tumblr. this is strictly prohibited.

the boy you loved (sae i.) !

features: sae i.

contents: angst. hurt no comfort. mild swearing. toxic realtionship. nostalgia. reader flinches. door slam. breakup. it hurts sorry lol. 1.8k words.

to the world, sae itoshi was a catch. he is a pro athlete, beautiful, and rich, everything someone could ever want in a partner. sae itoshi is at the pinnacle of his sport at the age of eighteen years old. he was at the forefront of it for longer.

fame has changed sae itoshi.

you knew sae itoshi before the world did. you knew him before the flashing cameras and cheering crowds, back when he couldn’t even kick a soccer ball without falling flat on his ass. sae itoshi was awkward, dorky, and kind. sae itoshi was the boy you loved.

it all began to change when he slowly climbed the ranks of soccer. his goofy grins became more mellowed, shyness turning to aversion. but most of all, he was no longer kind. sae itoshi was no longer the sweet boy who would hold your hand as you walked to school. sae itoshi was no longer to considerate boy that made sure to have your favorite snacks at his home. sae itoshi was no longer the tender-hearted boy who you fell in love with.

sae itoshi is now a man who’s as foreign to you as a stranger.

yet, for some reason, you can’t seem to let him slip through your fingers. nor can he let you slip from his. in a never ending cycle one always ends up crawling back to the other. like some twisted kind of soulmates you can never escape each other.

you loved sae itoshi the boy, but sae itoshi the man is a whole other story.

loving the man, sae itoshi, is many things, but it is not easy.

loving sae itoshi is tiring.

sitting up on the couch of his apartment for the nth night in a row, waiting and watching the door like a dog for him to come home. 

sae was incredibly dedicated to his sport, staying till the sun died. he just wanted one thing when he came home: to see you. the first thing he wanted to see when he got home was you. the notion had your head spinning and heart pounding when he so boldly proclaimed it.

but now, when you sit on the couch like a wilted flower, you begin to question just how flattering it was. your eyes ached from keeping them open for so long, the soft glow of the lamps beginning to slowly drive you insane.

this empty apartment is exhausting. but you couldn’t blame him. his schedule is bound to be busy, he is a professional athlete, after all.

the lock clicks as your head raises from the phone in your hands. he walks in and looks at you, before immediately walking away. your heart cracks a little more every time this happens.

he is a ritualistic man, it seemed saying “hi” or “missed ya” would throw it off too much.

so, you stand and walk to the bedroom, tucking yourself under the covers while the gentle flow of the shower lulls you to sleep.

you feel the bed slightly dip sometime later into the night, but the wave of sleep sweeps you back under the surface immediately after. what you do not feel: is warmth or an arm around you.

loving sae itoshi is stressful.

sae leaves for long periods of time consistently. you accept that he cannot always be home, but you ask that he at least texts you moderately.

sae has a habit of ghosting people when he’s away, then just coming back like he’s greater than thou. not like it’s the first time it’s happening.

he’s been gone for two weeks now and hasn’t said a single thing to you. no texts, no calls, nothing. you were worried. you trusted him, it’s not that. he’s just so far away, what if something happened and the last thing he said to you was “bye,” when he left the home for the airport two weeks ago.

you don’t want to think like this, but this new sae was brash in a way that would get him hurt one day. he spoke his mind with no sense of self-preservation, he had no idea of customs in other countries, and he wouldn’t take one damn minute to text you a single word.

so you call rin, asking him with a quiver in your voice if he’s heard from sae. he hasn’t. but can’t help the choked whine that slams in your chest, quickly thanking him and hanging up. your eyes begin to well tears as you pace the empty apartment that seems a lot more foreboding than exhausting now.

crystalline drops run over your face as you desperately try to calm yourself, you were being dramatic. sae always was there to hold you when you cried as a kid, but now you were crying alone because of that same sweet boy.

you fall asleep on the couch that night, not able to bear the vast emptiness of the bed that was meant to be shared.

loving sae itoshi is slamming doors.

sae was back soon enough, walking into the apartment as if nothing had happened. he watched as you remained seated, not rising to excitedly greet him like your normally would. his brow furrowed as he left it, leaving you on the couch again when he returned home to unpack.

sae itoshi would rather let a problem steep and fester than deal with it directly. the boy you loved would stutter out of concernwith the most adorable flush on his rounded cheeks. but this man was a shell of the boy who loved you, the boy who still holds your one and only heart.

“what’s up with you?” his words come out abrasive as he stands in the bedroom doorway, one hand idly towel-drying his hair while the other was poised against his hip. he had a way of making it feel like you were the problem.

“what’s up with me?! sae you ghosted me for nearly three weeks, do you know how worried i was?” your own voice punches out of your chest before you can bite your tongue to hold back the words. watching as his eyes widen and he gets that haughty look on his face, you hated that look, that sneer.

he spoke with a venom, green eyes drilling into your form. “i’m a grown man, you don’t need to fuss over me. get over it, we’re not snot-nosed brats anymore, y/n.” you felt yourself flinch back as he ended his sentence with a punctuated scoff. he turned and shut the door a little louder than needed, you flinched back as it slammed: slightly shaking on its hinges.

now that he was gone, the tears flowed free again. you really were still a snot-nosed brat, weren’t you? the thought was mocking as the vast apartment began to feel more and more like a cage.

you fell asleep on the couch with dried rivers of tears shed staining your cheeks, nose rubbed raw from incessantly wiping it on your sleeve.

loving sae itoshi is nostalgic.

sae isn’t all bad nowadays. sometimes you could see the sweet boy that put bandaids on your scraped knees peek through.

in the light of the early morning, his eyes are bright and the soft glow makes his face feel more soft. it reminds you of waking up from sleepovers at the itoshi house, sae’s sleepy face and his messy bed hair.

when he plays football you are reminded of the boy who couldn’t shoot without falling flat on his face. you remember kissing the tip of his reddened nose while wiping the tears that threaten to escape from the corners of his sea-glassy eyes.

when he’s eating his dinner, you see the boy who stuffed his face with puffy cheeks. you see the boy who shoveled food into his mouth after practice, insisting that he needed to grow.

sae itoshi was still the boy you fell in love with, he was just a little lost.

times like this forced you to acknowledge that it was not actually his past self shining through. rather, it was you so desperately looking for any semblance of a shred of the boy who you once loved.

sae itoshi is no longer the boy you fell in love with, that boy died when he went to spain.

loving sae itoshi is hard.

this decision wasn’t easy. everytime the thought even crossed your mind you felt your eyes sting and your nose run hot. 

but the truth was inevitable and unforgiving. passing moments of joy could no longer help alleviate the aching pain that echoed in the deepest expanses of your soul.

sae itoshi was no longer the boy who you fell in love with, it was the inevitable truth.

you didn’t believe that sae loved you any longer, rather coexisting with you as stability.

you don’t ever want to be a roommate to your partner.

you needed to break up with sae itoshi, to let go of the boy who was so long gone. 

for once in your life, the apartment did not feel so bad. it felt like being in your childhood home for the last time before going off to college.

sae was off today, you planned it so he would be, not wanting to spring it one him before or after practice.

“sae, we need to talk."

sae knew he had messed up when he heard those words come from your mouth. but the safety net of your unconditional love had spoiled him. so he did not expect for you to leave.

when you said you were leaving, it began to wear. but it was still there, so he expected that you would be coming back soon.

when weeks turned to months with nothing but occasional passing conversations, he began to sweat.

sae itoshi, the ultimate catch, had just lost the love of his life.

the net snapped as he was left falling, plunging into an endless regret. sae itoshi was reminded of every single time he had given you the cold shoulder. every single time he was ruder than necessary. every single time he had forgotten he loved you.

sae itoshi knew he was no longer the boy you loved. but you are still the kid that he fell in love with, the only one who captured his heart.

and he pushed you away.

and damn, it hurt like hell when his apartment began to feel eerily empty without you, a bed meant to be shared becoming cold without another body in it.

sae itoshi realized how you had felt the entire time.

okkotsuus 23

Thinking about Bachira Meguru assuming he's unlovable.

Being called a monster for their whole childhood really makes a mark on a person's life and self-esteem. But for Bachira, they were unavoidable.

At first, he tried to ignore the mean comments and pretend he didn't hear them. Maybe that would make the loneliness go away. Maybe it would make the problems disappear.

"He's a freak!"

"Eww, don't get too close to Bachira! You'll get lice!!"

"He's stinky"

He heard the whispers. He just used to pretend he didn't. For both his and the children's sake. So he could pretend he was normal. At least for a while.

And, sometimes, even parents, grown-ass adults, called him weird. Shouldn't they set an example for their kids? They tell them: "Don't judge other people! You never know what they're going through!", but are always the first to talk shit about someone, even if said someone is a little kid.

"Poor kid. It's probably the parents fault."

"He says sees a 'monster'! He's probably schizophrenic."

"My son is afraid of him. Specially when he's playing soccer. He said he's very scary"

He tried to ignore them. He really did. He tried to smile through it all and treat people the same way he always had nevertheless: with respect. Because crying would make his problems real. He didn't want them to be real. And he was doing a good job at it! But one faithful day, he snapped. The final nail in the coffin.

"When I grow up, I want to be a football player, just like Zico!" 11 year old Bachira said, showing the whole class a drawing of him, Zico and his monster playing soccer together. His smile was as bright and blinding as ever, specially because he was talking about his passion: soccer. He loved it so much. It helped him escape the harsh reality for a while.

The class went silent. They used to think Bachira was weird, to put it slightly, but this? It just made him even more weird! They all knew that he could never be a football player. He was an outcast. A freak. He was a monster. And monsters couldn't live with humans. Nobody wanted a monster on their team.

And so, instead of clapping like they did with the other kids' drawings, the class started to laugh. It started out quiet, but later it turned into a full, loud laugh. All of them. And Bachira always dreamed of making everyone there laugh, but not like this. They weren't laughing with him or because of him, they were laughing at him.

"Uh? What's happening, miss?" He asked the teacher, confused and on the verge of crying. He couldn't cry here. Not in front of them, please. That would be another thing for them to laugh at.

He swears on his life that he heard the teacher laugh a little, before the adult crouched down to match his size, grabbed his drawing and put it on his desk, while the other kids' drawings were being stuck to the board with tape. And then, he heard one of the worst sentences he ever heard in his life. One that he knew would definitely keep him awake at night:

"Meguru, being a football player is too hard for you. Why don't you settle for something more real and reachable? Like a doctor or a lawyer?"

He didn't understand. Some kids here wanted to be astronauts, others wanted to be models. Hell, one wanted to be a dinosaur babysitter. And their drawings were hanging on the wall, like they were going to be achieved. Bachira felt like no one believed in him. Like he was being put aside.

He then realized the problem wasn't what he wanted to do. It was him. Anyone could be a football player, but he couldn't. Because he was a monster. He was different from others.

And so, the tears began to fall. One by one, first from his left away and then from his right eye. His vision began to blurry. Left eye, right eye. Left, right, left right. Kids laughing, teacher laughing. His drawing on the desk. Left, right. Left right. He couldn't even see his own hands anymore from how blurred his vision was. He looked to his side. Left, right. The door. His escape. He needed to leave.

So, without second thought, Bachira ran towards the door. He couldn't care less for the teacher calling his name. He wouldn't come looking for him anyway. Nobody would. Nobody cared enough to do it.

He sat behind a tree, protected by it's shadow. He continued to cry. Hard. He put his hands in his eyes to try and stop the tears from falling, but he couldn't. He needed to let it all out. He just wished he had someone by his side during his breakdown. He really wanted a shoulder to rely on.

"Hey"

Maybe he was, indeed, schizophrenic. Because, the moment he looked up, he saw a girl he swore was too pretty to be real. The sunset made her have an angelic glow, and the wind made her hair flow just the right way. Her face was like a greek statuate, and he swore he could hear a soothing symphony playing in the background when he met her eyes: they were the most beautiful color he had ever seen, and he could imagine himself being lost and found in them. She was just too pretty. Too pretty to be here for him. And so, he managed to stop crying for a while and said, between sniffs:

"Did you lose a bet?"

The way your face contorted was almost comic.

"What?"

"Did someone pay you to come here? Where are the cameras? And how much was it?"

"I didn't lose any bet" you said, frowning. "I came here to check on you because I wanted to. I don't get why everyone laughed at you. Your dream is not stupid. Nobody's dream is."

"Even Richard's? He said he wants to be a dinossaur nanny" he said before he even thought about it. He then widened his eyes, because what if you were Richard's friend? What if you hated him now because he said something bad about your friend? What if he already screwed everything up? What if...

"Okay, you win. That one's actually stupid." You laughed. He made you laugh. This time, someone was laughing because of him. He felt like he was capable of everything at that moment. Your laugh was a sweet, infecting, honey-like melody. It made him wanna laugh too. He didn't realize it, but he had already stopped crying, and was now just staring at you with big, blown and unwavering eyes. His mouth slightly parted, like he was studying you and comitting everything about you to memory. Almost as if you were indeed an ilusion, and would disappear the second he blinked. He couldn't believe you were real. You were real, and you were talking to him.

After a while, you stopped laughing and finally noticed his intense staring. Suddenly bashful, your cheeks turned a bright red.

"I-I just want you to know that you shouldn't be ashamed of your dream. I think- no, I'm sure you can achieve it. You just have to work hard for it. I-I've seen you playing sometimes, and it's honestly amazing how focused you are. Bachira, I want to be your friend. That's it, if you'll let me-"

He hugged you. Hard. If it was any other time, he would have been afraid of scaring you off with the sudden hug, but he couldn't care less right now. He needed this. He needed a friend. You were just what he needed. You were perfect.

He started to cry again. This time, the first tear came out of his right eye. Right, left. His vision was getting blurred from how hard he was smiling. Right, left. Right, left. Your arms hugging him back. Right, left. The sound of the school bell, signalizing the end of the school day. People would see you and him hugging and you would probably be called weird by them for being next to him, but you still didn't break the hug. Right, left.

He didn't want to escape like he did during the class incident. No. He wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted time to stop, to be in your arms for eternity. He didn't want to pull away. He finally made a friend. You were his first friend.

Bachira Meguru used to think he was unlovable, but you proved him wrong. You proved he could, in fact, be loved. He wasn't a monster. He wasn't a freak. He was Bachira Meguru. Your best friend. And he wore that title with pride. Later on, he had the honour to be called your boyfriend, and he was even prouder of that one.

He used to think he would never find happiness. That's why, the moment the ref blew the whistle signalizing the end of Japan U-20 against Blue Lock eleven match and securing Blue Lock's victory, he couldn't think of anything else besides his girl. He ran across the field to you. Because you were like a magnet. He couldn't be apart from you, or else it felt like the whole earth would explode. He was yours and you were his. You both were meant to be.

"You did it! I love you, Meguru!"

He laughed. A pretty, genuine laugh followed by a couple of tears, beginning from his right eye, of course. His mother was recording behind you both, the blue lock team was smirking and whistling at the sight of you two and the television was streaming the moment for the whole world to see. But neither of you cared about the extra eyes. You were the only ones on the world. You always made him feel like that, and he hopes he makes you feel that way, too.

"I love you so much. Thank you."

Thank you for being with me. Thank you for being there. Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for accepting the title of being my girlfriend proudly. Thank you for being you. Thank you for everything. Thank you.

He then lifted you and spun you in the air, smiling hard. He brought your lips closer and then kissed you. A kiss full of emotion and love. So much love: raw and pure.

You proved he wasn't just lovable. He was also capable of loving. And there's nothing prettier than loving someone.

Bachira Meguru was lovable, and you made sure to show him that. You loved him, and he would do everything to keep it that way forever.

~A/N: there's a "saying" that says that if you're crying and the first tear is from the left eye, you're crying from sadness. If the first tear comes out of the right eye, they're happy tears!!

Masterlist

What if:.. I noticed that most BLLK characters are Called by their Last Names, but one Specifically Stood out: Rin. I have a feeling that Rin requested Ego to not use his last name(?) since he doesn’t want to be overshadowed by his brother’s fame while he’s in blue lock. (Excluding reo)

Dreams of you - SAE X READER [oneshot]

Sae x Reader , oneshot, angst + comfort(??)

[pt.2 ]

[Kaiser edition (wip)]

[ BLLK Oneshot Masterlist ]

TW: heavy ooc, bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, cringe, scuff, etc.

“I love you, Sae.” “I love you too, [Y/N].” “Please babe. Wake up.” 

Sae shot up, cold sweat running down his body. His hands were shaking and his breath was uneven, how many times has this been now?

26. It had been 26 days since he broke up with you. Why was he still having dreams of your first date? Your loving words and tender affirmations, your smile so bright it had engraved itself in the back of his mind.

It had been a month since he broke up with you, and yet every night your warm touch had seeped into the back of his mind, and into his dreams.

Breaking up with you was meant to help him focus. Not the other way around.

He wondered if it would’ve been better if he just didn’t leave.

“Whatever. What’s been done has been done. There’s no going back.”

He took a deep breath, fingers pressed against the bridge of his nose.

The clock read 4:02 AM. Not that he had to check, it was always 4 in the morning that these dreams released him.

Sae wondered what you were doing in Japan, did you have lunch yet? What were you eating? Who were you eating with? Was it your new boyfri-

“Stop.”

Sae hissed at himself, trying to keep his thoughts in check. He would think of you everyday, he hated it. Whenever he saw your favourite food, he’d think of buying you some. A plushie, would you like it? The cats at the shelter, maybe he should send you a pic…

He grabbed his hair, nails digging lightly into his scalp. It was always you. Why must you haunt his poor heart  head? 

He refused to waste more time on this. He stood up and fixed his bed, a habit he got from you. It was already 4:11, he’d used almost 10 minutes thinking of you again. He clenched his jaw, mentally noting that he didn’t deserve to get himself a sweet treat today, for wasting such time.

But it was better than yesterday’s 18 minutes, right? That’s improvement! Plus, he had trained for 10 hours yesterday as a punishment, so surely it’d be okay to take it easier today, right?

Sae remembered how you used to convince him to take breaks from training with such logic.

He dug his nails into his palm. Enough of you already, he had things to do.

Sae left the apartment, wandering the empty streets illuminated by the streetlamps and the few open cafes/restaurants. 

Sae used to blast music through his headphones to mute his thoughts, but it stopped working after he was reminded that you were the one who handcrafted all the very few playlists of his.

So now he just tried to focus on his surroundings, promptly ignoring any thoughts of you.

He’d been doing this for weeks now, did he feel any better? Would he be happier if he fully got over you? Sae didn’t let himself answer that question.

He was well familiar with the area by now, becoming a regular at any place open at this time around here. There was nothing new for him to focus on.

No no, surely there was something. Wasn’t a new cafe opening somewhere? He could’ve sworn someone handed him a flyer about it…

But truthfully, he could barely remember anything these days. 

Sae pulled out his phone and looked through his gallery to find the picture of the flyer, pretending to not see the dozens of your photos, which he had deleted and re-downloaded multiple times now.

He followed the map towards the cafe, flipping through its online menu. It seemed that the cafe really was new, almost nothing had been set up online, no images, no menu, no reviews. It seemed to be a small struggling business. Sae almost pitied them. If he was capable of such emotions anymore.

Sae pushed open the door, the small bell dangling above it rang a light jingle, notifying the worker that there was a guest

“Oh hello! Uhm… that door was supposed to be locked, haha…”

The poor employee laughed awkwardly, sweating visible bullets.

Sae turned around to look at the door, the rusted lock fell off the frame on to the floor.

The employee gulped, “So, what can I help you with!” She tried to put on a bright smile, since the customer was clearly wealthy, given his looks, there was no way she’d be able to tell him to get out!

Sae looked around, the place really was run down, was it really ready to open?? 

“What do you have?”

“Uhm, let’s see… We have water?”

“...”

“uh- hahaha… just kidding! W-we have other stuff too… uhm- dango, milk tea, tanghulu, pudding, anddd milk?” 

The worker gave a weak smile, Sae was staring right into her eyes, she felt like he’d jump her at any moment!

“Get me two waffles”

“I- sorry?? We don’t offer those, haha…”

She did NOT remember listing waffles as an option, was the guy even listening???

“Oh”

He was not listening

“... Actually- I’ll get that done for you! Give me a few minutes….”

She headed to the back to get his order done.

Shit. Sae impulse ordered waffles again. He doesn’t even like waffles! It was supposed to be your favourite food, not his. Why’d he do that…

He knew exactly why, but refused to admit it.

What was he even going to do with two of them!? The only option really was to scarf it down…

“Uhm… you’ve been staring at me for a while… is there something wrong?”

“Hm? Oh, I wasn’t aware, sorry.”

The worker gave him a skeptic look, as he was still staring, even after the apology. “This guy must be barely awake…”

“Well, here’s your waffles!”

She handed him a paper bag, with clear plastic on one side so he could see inside. Two warm waffles sat, Sae could feel the heat.

“Could I ask, what made you think we were open? No offense or anything- It’s just that the sign on the door said we were closed, and all the flyers said we’re opening next month… I don’t wanna mislead anyone or anything, haha..”

Sae gave a confused look, did he hallucinate…? It wouldn’t be the first time…

He pulled out his phone to check, and sure enough, “GRAND OPENING: NEXT MONTH” was written in bold. How did he miss that???

“Sorry, [Y/N].”

He mumbled, pulling out his wallet, and putting a few hundred bills on the table and sliding it to the worker, “For your troubles”

“Oh! Uhm, Thank you!”

The worker was visibly taken aback, he had given her $750! If she was in a different situation, she probably would’ve insisted on giving it back, but with the way the store was looking, it would go a long way.

Sae headed towards the door, checking the time

“Uhm sir, my name’s not [Y/N] by the way… you can just call me-”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Sae cut her off. He didn’t really care who she was. Now he knew why he was staring at her the whole time, her eyes looked like yours.

“Barely. [Y/N]’s are darker.”

Sae took a waffled from the bag, taking a bite as he walked home

“What am I doing with my life, I can’t even remember Rin’s eye colour but I know her’s? What curse am I under…”

“Maow!”

Sae looked down, a tabby cat was jumping up his leg, reaching for the waffle bag.

“Maowmaowmaowwwwww”

Sae leaned down, squatting as he opened the bag and gave the cat a waffle.

The tabby ate it happily, it seemed well groomed and clean, maybe it belonged to someone?

Sae pet her head, the cat leaning into his touch with a content smile as she purred.

“How cute, they have the same eyes…”

Sae stood up, dusting himself off. He waved goodbye to the cat and continued walking home.

But the cat followed, meowing loudly to get his attention. She didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving.

Sae looked at it for a bit, hesitating. You had always wanted a cat, you even had names prepared. Maybe one day, when you visit, he could show you the cat and convince you to come to his apartment.

“Forget it. She’s never coming back.”

There was no point in keeping the cat, he was never planning on getting one.

And yet he still stared at the cat, the cat staring back with those eyes that he oh so loved, resembling yours.

Fuck it.

Sae scooped up the cat, and continued walking,

“You’re mine now.”

A/N: Teehee! First oneshot :3 this ones inspired by irl events ;) bc i have a crazy rate of dreaming- (daily. And I can remember 75% of the time, which mean my dreams give me crazy amounts of content LMAO)

Hope u like it :3

The Sae oneshot was great! Can you please make part 2?

(for the new ppl here's [pt 1])

Was gonna reply to this when i finished the work, but im stuck on the thinking process... Do we want angsty pt2? or fluff 🧐

depending on how i write pt2, there MIGHT be a possibility for a pt3, NO PROMISES, BC IDK WHAT IM DOING- 😭😭

@darkcowboypirate and whoever else wanted a pt 2

ALSO IM SORRY FOR BAITING THE PPL-

Dreams of You [pt2] - Sae x Reader

Sae x Reader , oneshot, slight angst + comfort

[pt.1] <- the angst

[ BLLK Oneshot Masterlist ]

TW: heavy ooc, bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, cringe, scuff, etc.

(Req by: @darkcowboypirate + @sereniauhhh ! ty u two sm for techincally my first req on tumblr :D)

Sae lucked out. 

Usually he doesn’t take up promotion offers or other sponsorships and such, but when the chance came to model with you on a shoot, he had agreed before he could even comprehend what was happening.

The brand was a pretty big one, one of the biggest sports brands in Japan. They were known for hiring big name athletes, and with soccer being on the rise, they had extended invitations to you and Sae.

(you could be requested since ur a model, or being a pro soccer player, or just a normal person with connections to the agency, it’s up to you!)

Sae wasn’t sure if you had declined your invitation, the agency said that you had yet to get back to them when he asked.

But Sae would be willing to wager his right foot if it meant there was even a chance to see you again.

He had deleted all your contacts the day he broke up with you, and he hated himself for it. Sae had considered buying a phone book just to flip through every page to find your name, or contact the phone agency to go through their database. But he told himself to keep some dignity so you wouldn’t think he was pathetic. (he knew he was. And it was his fault)

The dreams of you never went away. But slowly he started to find comfort in them. Going to sleep sooner, and trying to get himself to fall back asleep were unfortunately now part of his schedule.

“I miss you” “What are you talking about Sae, I’m right here!” “...I wish you were.” “?” “I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me.”

✈️✈️🕓

Sae’s eyes opened slowly, he grumbled and sighed before rolling over and checking his phone for the time 

7:45am

Sae’s mental health started to get better, the more he accepted that he missed you. But obviously with that, he was thinking of you more. You were his wallpaper, password, he buys your favorite food and drinks when he goes out, everything.

If ur famous, he even has some of your merch, and has made donations to you before.

“If I can't have the real thing I'll settle for this”

Sae was happy to just be your fan (even if you aren't famous), he could still love you without having to hurt you.

But part of him still hoped you were single, that you still loved him, at least that you didn't hate him.

He wanted to apologize, he needed to. Unless you've moved on already… was it bad that he hoped you didn't?

Whatever… it was time to get going anyway.

Sae threw on the first articles of clothing he could find, since it was a modeling shoot, he would be given new things to wear anyway.

He wondered what you would wear.

His hoodie maybe? No. He demanded it back when you broke up, and now he was clinging to your scent on it like a dog. He wished he'd at least left you with something 

Sae mindlessly waved off the tact driver as he got out the car and walked through the building. The shoot was set to take place on the 53rd floor.

He spammed the elevator button, unconsciously wanting to see you sooner. He even arrived early and everything, knowing that you often showed up a half hour before anything started.

The elevator doors opened, Sae felt a bit disappointed that he hadn't accidentally ran into you. Whatever. He'd see you in a few minutes anyway.

As the numbers indicating the floors went up, Sae’s mind became just a bit more crowded. His palms had a few beads of sweat as he quenched his fist, he hadn't been this nervous even for the BLLK vs U20 game.

He shut his eyes and focused his mind. It wasn't that big of a deal.

The doors opened. Finally. 

Sae stepped out and tried not to walk to fast and seem desperate, he pushed open the door to the designated room.

Even though there were still 30 minutes til the shoot, camera men, makeup specialists, designers, and staff were running around, helping the other models.

But Sae payed no mind to them. He skimmed the faces of everyone, getting more and more frustrated that you weren't there.

“Mr.Itoshi!” An assistant called out “Please, right this way, let's get you dressed-”

“Quiet.”

Sae shushed him instantly.

He continued looking around, and there you were.

You stood outside the room, leaning out on the handrails of the balcony looking down.

A shiver went up your spine, you hated heights. What were you doing here?

Right. Avoiding a certain man Calming yourself down before the reunion  Nothing really.

You sighed. You had no clue if Sae would show, of if you even wanted him to…

Who are you kidding. You've been dreaming about the man for the past several months, of course you missed him.

If only he missed you too. 

“Careful now”

An arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you back from the railing and into their chest.

“I thought you hated heights.”

“...Sae…? I thought you hated me?”

“No. I would never.”

Sae brushed your hair out of your face, Fuck. He was in love again.

You looked down, not sure what to say as you avoided his gaze.

“Hey. Look at me.”

He lightly tilted your head up with his finger, eyes locked on yours

“I missed you.”

He leaned in and kissed your lips, which he had missed oh so much

“You don't know how many times I've dreamt about this.”

A/N: yippee it's out :D hope u liked it, tbh i wasn't expecting people to want a part two, im literally so happy :'3

anyway thanks again for being my first requesters! i appreciate u two dearly :D

— 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐓 | Reo Mikage

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 4.9k (4964)

𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄: fluff / angst

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓: dreams that always seemed achievable don't always remain so. pro!player Reo Mikage, adult AU. mention of death, guns, suicide (not described and not heavy to read)

The air is tense, the whole stadium doesn't even dare to breathe. The few who speak do so to pray, pray that that damned goal enters the net and thus marks the team's victory. The most audible noise is that of football boots running on the green lawn, and of the hits the ball receives in the shooting area. Everyone trembles, even the security or cleaning workers who stopped only to witness the possible victory or defeat

The ball flies into the air, a member of the enemy team tries to catch it but it is promptly passed back by a teammate. Even the smallest second counts in matters like these, so all enemy defenders try to regain possession of the ball as quickly as possible. It's a matter of less than a second when someone emerges from midfield, shoes tightly tightened and a blue uniform dressed with honour

With a sharp kick, the ball ends up in the net without even giving the goalkeeper the chance to realize which direction it is coming from

The stadium explodes, the screams become even too loud for the human ear to bear. The winning team cries, everyone throws themselves on the person who kicked the winning goal: Reo Mikage, Japan striker and soon to be your future husband

You join in the screams, and the tears you had contained until then pour out like a raging river. Sitting in the stands dedicated to the players' families, you hug the jacket with the visible writing "Mikage #1 Fan" that you had taken off due to the heat. You look up at the field again and find your boyfriend's soft eyes staring at you: he looks at you in a special way, but with a look that is much more proud than any other time. His irises scream "Did you see? You're happy? Are you proud?" and you can't help but let out a nervous laugh as you wipe away your tears

From the large screen placed in front of you, Reo's goal is broadcast again, and immediately afterwards, a recording of your reaction is accompanied. You die of embarrassment, but after years of being his girlfriend you're used to things like this. While the cameras are still filming you and the screams are continuing, you come down from the stands quickly putting on your jacket; you jump the steps that separate you from the pitch and even before you get close to the net you find yourself in the arms of Reo, who has escaped from his teammates to run to you

You hold him tightly to you, while he surrounds your waist with his body now all wet with sweat. The purple hair plastered to his forehead and his still slightly short breath make him so damn cute that you're surprised not to find any small or hidden imperfections in him. Even after being engaded to him for 10 years, every day you fall in love with Reo Mikage again

"You were very good" you whisper, remaining hugged to him, feeling his body trembling with emotion "Really very good" you say, breaking away from his embrace, while he holds you close to him, placing his hands on your hips. You dry your tears laughing, but he moves your hand away and with a thumb he wipes away the last tears at the edge of your eyes "It's thanks to you. Knowing that you were here only gave me determination" he says, wiping away the last tear, to then place a sweet kiss on your forehead

"REOOOOOO" shouts one of his teammates, who motions for him to come to the center of the field where they are opening some sparkling wines. You laugh at the emotional faces of his colleagues, however you notice a bit of dissent on his face "What's bothering you now?" you ask, and he pulls you into another hug "I want to stay here with you" he sighs, and even though you want this too, you know he has to celebrate because he won a really important match "Don't worry. I'll wait for you here" you say caressing him sweaty hair, and even though he doesn't seem to agree, he accepts. You break away from the hug, but before you can even turn around he pulls you by the wrist and, placing his hand halfway down your back, kisses you. The stadium erupts into another roar, and the image of the hottest couple of the moment is broadcast on the arena's big screen

You place your free hands on his cheeks, smiling as he presses his lips to yours. He breaks away shortly after and without saying a word, he runs away with his teammate. You remain enchanted by the kiss for a few more seconds, but you immediately compose yourself, and with a feeling of lightness, you step aside a little. You enjoy his happiness from afar, the emotion that lives in him as he lifts the cup while he is at the center of his team, who celebrate him like never before. Today's match was particularly complicated, fortunately ending with a 6-5 after almost the entire second half of the game was characterized by yellow cards. Today's match brings home an old trophy that Japan hadn't won for 27 years, but thanks to your boyfriend, can once again say it's Japanese property

The players enjoy moments of happiness after 90 minutes, including 2 extra minutes, of pure agony. Immediately someone is picked up by journalists for the usual interviews, but a large part rushes towards Reo with microphones and cameras ready to record his words. You understand that at the moment you can't be with him because he will surely have to have some interviews, so you decide to take his bag from the side of the field and stand at the end of the crowd of journalists, who otherwise will crush you

"Anxious?" asks a voice you recognize well "Enough. You? You just won a game, Nagi" you say turning, where you find your boyfriend's best friend, who seems to have escaped from the journalists "Nothing overly exciting. I just sweated more than expected" he says doing a few close to you, taking Mikage's bag "I'll bring it to him when we go to the locker room, don't worry" he says, knowing you can't say no "Thank you, and above all... you were very good too" you say crossing arms, finally with free hands. The boy shrugs, then continues straight where a line of journalists begins to follow him. You giggle at the scene, and before you can notice, Reo steps forward into the crowd of reporters only to pull you by the wrist and make you come with him “What do you want to do?” you ask entering the crowd of people, who however let you pass quite a bit "My wife can participate in the interviews, right?" he says giving you a determined look, and your heart skips a beat at that moment

Reo had proposed to you about six months ago, and at the end of this month, you would have become husband and wife. You had been together since he was 19 and you were 18, having met thanks to Ego's strange experiment: you worked as Anri's assistant, and more than a few times you had happened to sneak from the control room to some training camp. You once came across a former teammate of his in training, who, seeing a woman after months of "prisoner" inside the Blue Lock, had had a rather excessive reaction. Hearing your screams as you ran into the training field while escaping from the boy who proclaimed a kiss, someone had decided to check what was happening: that someone was Reo

Reo had more or less calmed down his teammate, giving you the option to lock yourself in one of the locker rooms for protection. Once the boy left, Mikage came to the locker room to check on your condition and, despite knowing that it was not legal for you to be there, he asked Anri and Ego to have you checked by a doctor to make sure that you were okay. That was your first meeting 11 years ago, and throughout his stay at the Blue Lock facility, you communicated through letters you hid in the cafeteria. Knowing that you certainly couldn't meet him, you had hidden a letter of thanks in the tray that you knew would end up with him. A few days later, while cleaning the cafeteria under Anri's orders, you found a reply letter from him, hidden in the empty rice bowl. You had sent a letter again, hiding it in the tray, and he had replied to you again. This has been your method of communication for over two years, until his exit by elimination

From the first letter, you had started rooting for him in every match, and maybe for you it was even love at first sight. Reo was one of the last to leave the Blue Lock, but he was practically immediately taken into an equally strong Japan team, and then with a bit of luck, he still managed to join the official Japan team at the end. As soon as he left the facility, you introduced yourself to him, and after not even a few months of knowing each other, he was actually the one who asked you to be his girlfriend. You had been together for 10 years now and every day you were grateful that you had the chance to be with such a fabulous guy. You had met his parents almost immediately, and you were quite surprised to find out about his family's heritage, which Reo didn't show off out

Together, you arrive in front of the journalist's cameras, who welcomes both of you with a light smile. "What were we saying?" says the boy, holding you close, putting his arm around your shoulders "Oh, we were talking about the match. The goal was decisive for the team's victory, and the fact that it was scored by you, who at the moment is one of the most loved and followed, it makes the fans crazy about you" says the man holding the microphone "Even for me it is unthinkable to have made the winning move for such an important match, but I had already thought of having to do it today to dedicate it to her. The goal is for Japan, but above all for my wife" he says in one breath, and the cameras get closer and closer. The journalist bursts into genuine laughter, while your cheeks get a little redder at his words "Prove your power to your wife, huh? But if I'm not mistaken, your wedding is still a few days away" says the man, and Reo nods "The wedding will be on the 28th of this month, but I have considered Y/n my wife for a long time already. The wedding is just an excuse to see her in the white dress" he says jokingly, and everyone bursts in a laugh, including you "I understand. So we can already call you Y/n Mikage, miss?" the man says, shifting his attention to you "Oh, if you want to, do it. It pleases me enormously" you nod, and Reo kisses your hair delicately, and you can already imagine the myriad of edits you will see when scrolling through Tiktok or Instagram of this scene

"Well, I don't know what else to say other than to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. Are there any other plans in mind, work or personal?" the journalist asks, and at the same moment you and Reo turn to look at each other, a little thoughtful "Work... I think I'll continue with the Japanese team, I struggled to get into the team and above all I can't abandon my best friend and the other teammates alone... personal, in addition to marriage..." Reo says not really wanting to answer the question "We will have a family. We would like to have two or three children" you say answering the question. You know well that Reo didn't want to answer because neither of you had decided to tell the world, because you had talked about the 'children' issue relatively recently but you both agreed with the idea of ​​having them immediately after marriage "What she said" Reo says sighing, but with a smile on his face

The journalist nods, thanks for the time dedicated and leaves room for others, who would only like to have the same answers you gave to the man "Can you do me a favor? Can you waiting for me in front of the locker room? I should take a while and I know you won't particularly love answering the questions they ask you" he says while another journalist positions himself in front of you, with the microphone ready "Sure, see you there" you say, stepping aside, and you mentally thank him since sooner or later some journalist will ask you he would ask some strange question, as has already happened in some interviews where you appeared at the request of the television stations

Once you arrive at the door, you wait there for about twenty minutes. Some teammates start to enter, greeting you because they know you anyway. Nagi arrives after a while, with Reo's bag "He's still finishing the interviews, he told me it will take a while longer. Do you need a ride home?" the boy asks before entering the locker room "I want to wait for him, maybe I'll sit in the stadium cafeteria" you say shaking your hand, greeting him. Nagi nods and enters the room, and soon after, the rest of the players leave, and you hear them talking about a certain dinner

About another hour passes before you see Reo pop into the hallway. “Still here?” he asks, seeing you from afar, motioning for you to enter the locker room with him because he's the only one who still has to change "I waited" you say nodding, sitting on the central bench of the room, while your boyfriend opens his locker "It was more tiring answering everyone's questions rather than winning the game..." he says sighing, taking off his player t-shirt filled of sweat "I suspected it. Did they ask you any particular questions?" you ask as you see him grab a change of underwear, before also taking off his shorts and his underwear; although naked, you've seen him so many times that you're no longer surprised "Oh, one about marriage. They asked me if I forced you to marry me just to maintain a homosexual relationship with Nagi" he says rolling his eyes, entering the showers of the changing room. You burst out laughing at his answer, trying to avoid the tears caused by laughter "With Nagi? You should collaborate less on the field, then" you say passing him the bubble bath

"Ugh, don't make me think. When they asked me that question I didn't know whether to slap the reporter or not. Hell, I'm getting married in less than two weeks!" he says annoyed, pointing to the shampoo "These are questions made specifically to create hype, don't worry" you say passing him the shampoo, which he passes through his purple hair "Tired?" you ask, seeing him wash himself. “A little. But I think I have plans tonight, or rather, we have” he says, water splashing on him "What do you mean?” you ask in surprise "The team was talking about a possible dinner at a restaurant to celebrate the victory. Players and girlfriends included" he says turning off the shower jet on his hair to rinse it "Oh! I understand, some of them were talking about it when they came out of the locker room" you say remembering the boys who were talking about it earlier "I would like not to go and spend the evening at home, possibly in bed, but my father finances that restaurant... I think we have to go" he says sighing, wrapping a towel around his waist before getting out of the shower

"Okay. Do you know what time?" you ask crossing your legs “I think 10pm” you say as he dries himself off grabbing another towel. Reo puts on his underwear, his hair still a little wet and his chest clean and smelling good. You smile at him, motioning for him to sit on the bench "Rest a bit. I'll take care of the hair" you say, getting up, taking the hairdryer from the locker room, which you pass through your boyfriend's hair as soon as it's turned on. Reo relaxes as you run your hand through his hair, the warm air drying it quickly and making the room slightly warmer. You comb them delicately, and then put them in the little ponytail that he usually always wear

"Thank you" he says when he sees through the mirror of the room that you have done "You're welcome!" you say, leaving a kiss on his cheek. Before you can even break the closeness, he places his arm around your waist, holding you close to him; you place your hands on his bare chest and feel him relax a little as he hugs you "I can't wait for the wedding day" he whispers close to your ear, tightening his grip "The idea of ​​seeing you shine in your wedding dress, I can't get her out of my head. I've always been annoyed by crying in front of others but I think that day I'll care less than nothing" he says, leaving a few kisses on your neck, not in a lustful way, but rather in an affectionate way. You wrap your hands around his neck and let your bodies touch "Bride of the Mikage heir... I'll take your surname too, how strange" you say resting your forehead on his shoulder, with his chest heaving he lowers and raises slowly "Y/n Mikage. I could die, once everything is official" the boy says, and a small laugh spontaneously escapes your lips "And yet it will happen soon. What we have been planning since we got together so many years ago is about to happen" you say enjoying the contact with your future husband. This time Reo is the one chuckling, as he breaks away for a few moments just to look at your face "I may not be the strongest attacker in the world, but I think I won in another way" he says, and you look at him fascinated, affectionately throwing him a cheek "You are also the strongest striker in the world!" you say scolding him ironically, and both of you can't help but laugh

A few hours pass before you both find yourself at the entrance of the luxurious restaurant, chosen by the team coach. You shine in your long pearly white dress, adorned with a fur of the same color. Arm in arm with you is obviously Reo, who instead opted for a black suit. A crowd of photographers and more journalists fills the sides of the restaurant avenue, creating a crowd with also several fans. Reo greets everyone and more than a few people ask for his autograph, which he signs extremely quickly. Some fans greet you too, and you happily return the greeting: fortunately, Reo's fanbase loves you, or rather, loves your couple. You are trending on any app due to the news of the wedding, and every day you are happy to see the positive comments on social media under the posts dedicated to Reo's career, to you, or to your couple

The restaurant is one you already know because of Mikage's father, who let you dine in there, knowing the owner, for some dates or family reunion that you also attended. An entire room, larger than the house you used to live in before living with Reo, was taken over solely to hold all the players and their partners. You know some of the girlfriends of Reo's other colleagues, that you greet with a wave of the hand or by talking to those with you have familiar. Everyone present sits at the seats placed along the entire table, and you end up between Reo's seat and that of Honna, a girl wherewith you have a good relationship

The dinner proceeds peacefully, filled with the various toasts that the table makes for the team's upcoming victories. One topic that often comes up is your marriage, and both you and Reo are a little embarrassed to have to answer all the questions, but you know that people ask them with good intentions and not with malice

The evening drags on, and it's already past one in the morning when, by chance, you see some waiters passing by your table with some security guards. You're a little perplexed, and Reo seems to notice. "Did something happen?" he asks, leaning towards you a little more "I don't know. It's strange that some security guards passed..." you say thoughtfully, seeing how some of them have just closed the door of the room where you are. Reo turns around, also noticing the strange movement "I noticed" he says, returning to look at the movement near the door "Wait here" he says, and then asks Nagi and another teammate to get up with him. You watch him get up with the two boys, and with a slow pace they approach the door, where a couple of waiters have positioned themselves. You try to reassure yourself that it's just your stupid paranoia, so you calmly go back to the topic you were talking about with Honna. You spend more than 5 minutes talking, but Reo doesn't seem to come back: you turn around and he's still talking to the waiters, but why doesn't he come back? What are they talking about that makes the waiter seem so worried?

You apologize to Honna and get up, walking towards your boyfriend. The closer you get, the more you hear words you don't like, but you think they've simply changed the topic. You come up behind Reo, and gently tug at his jacket sleeve to get his attention "Hey" you say, and he turns around; his face looks very worried "Is something happening?" you ask. The boy looks down, sighing as he runs a hand through his hair "There's some problem outside the restaurant, some fans of the opposing team are making a mess..." he says, biting his lips. You look at him a little perplexed "Is it serious? You seem worried" you ask "The police are coming because they suspect he has a weapon, but it wouldn't be anything serious. He can't enter the restaurant with all that security" he says trying to smile, but you understand that he's only doing it so you don't worry "Reo, shouldn't we be leaving? We ask to leave through the back door of the kitchen..." you ask, resting your head against his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around your waist "Don't worry. It's nothing serious, really" he says kissing your forehead

Back at the table, however, your mind is a tangle of thoughts. In a remote corner of your mind, you think that the man's goal is Reo himself: after all, he kicked the decisive and victorious goal, and thanks to him if the enemy team lost. You tell yourself that these are useless worries, but you can't calm down. The dinner continues as if it were nothing, and no one has warned of the man's presence, probably kept secret from the team so as not to trigger unnecessary alarms. You sigh continuously and play nervously with the fabric of the tablecloth, trying to appear calm when you're not even a little. "Darling" he says suddenly grabbing your hand, massaging the palm gently "If you're not calm, let's go. I ask to get a taxi to pass as soon as possible and let's go home" he says as he continues to massage your hand, getting down on the thigh. You nod, and while Reo apologizes to the others for leaving so suddenly, you put your fur coat back on

He takes your wrist loosely, guiding you towards the exit where you know he'll ask to go through the kitchens. You breathe a sigh of relief knowing you're finally leaving, but you hear a window glass shatter. The whole room including you turns towards the main noise, where, scattered between the glass, a man is lying curled up on the floor

Many players and partners stand up, and you feel Reo's grip pushing you a little further behind him, behind his back. Everyone observes the man with a few pieces of glass stuck in his skin, and some waiter rushes towards the unknown person, and before anyone even realizes it, a gun is noticed hidden between his trousers and shirt

“Fuck" Reo says, placing a hand on your head to pull you down. Your breath catches in your throat when you see the weapon, pulling your boyfriend as far as you can under the shelter of a vase “Oh my god” you say panicked, starting to tremble. The man moves all the waiters who go against him, and more than a slight glance at the other players, his attention is completely captured by Reo. The emblem clearly visible on the man's shirt is that of the team that lost today

"Please, hide yourself better near the vase" you say again behind his back, but Reo only dismisses you by keeping an arm around you, keeping you firmly covered "Don't move" he orders you as he tries to hide you. The trembling is also joined by tears, which fall silently due to panic "Reo please listen to me, hide" you say practically begging him, but he doesn't seem to give in "Don't worry, put yourself here" he says, forcing you under the protection of vase. You hold his arm close to you, crying into it “I'm fine" he says, turning away for a second, but it doesn't take long before his body jolts suddenly

A little further away, the man with the gun pointed at your boyfriend, fires the shot. The bullet runs fast, landing precisely against Reo's back. Your boyfriend freezes, moving his pupils towards his chest where the tip of the bullet exits his chest. Your mind stops at the precise moment Reo gasps, and still in shock, his body ends up against yours. You find Reo's head on your shoulder, your chests against each other where you feel your dress quickly getting stained with blood. His blood

“Oh my god...” you say not daring to look down where your boyfriend is “Oh my god...” you say louder as your breathing becomes erratic. You dare to look at your boyfriend for just one second, and it's enough for you to burst into a desperate scream as you try to fix him in front of you. "REO!" you scream holding his cheeks, moving your hands to his shoulders “REO DAMN ANSWER ME” you scream even louder, but his gaze seems completely blank. Your gaze wanders between his face, the wound that's getting bigger and bigger, and the way he's slowly breathing more and more laboriously

You tremble like a wet dog, trying to stay calm because you know it's the only thing you can do at the moment "Reo, please, answer me" you say shaking him slightly, but beyond a light batting of his eyelashes, no reactions come from him. The world falls on you the moment you see his chest swell in a last desperate attempt to breathe. "Reo I'm begging you, give me a sign that you're okay" you say as you observe him, and the more seconds pass, the more you feel that your boyfriend is abandoning you. Out of nowhere a small smile appears on his lips, he closes his eyes and with difficulty moves closer to your ear

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I really do, darling. Thank you for making me so happy when you gave me the chance to be your husband"

Reo utters words before collapsing onto you, with his head on your shoulder. His chest no longer moves and you no longer hear his heart beating

You remain paralyzed, your hands unable to touch his back. You stop breathing the same moment Reo leaves. The heaviness of the world falls on you, and in passing, you momentarily see before you a possible scene that could soon have happened: you and Reo with two wedding rings on your fingers, while you have children around you who laugh and play peacefully

You explode into a desperate scream, calling the name of your now dead husband. You look for signs of life in his face, but what you see is only horrible death; you hold him close, bursting into desperate tears. Everyone is probably watching you, even your lover's killer. The pain you feel in this moment is unlike any in the world: it is a wound that is not yet finished, which is slowly tearing your flesh apart while it enjoys your torment, and you already know that even if it never heals, it will never be completely healable

Morning newspaper: Tokyo Today News - 28/08

Journalist: "Y/n Y/s, girlfriend of the recently deceased Reo Mikage, heir to the Mikage fortune and important player of the Japanese team as a striker, was found dead this morning. The woman left a letter specifying that she took her own life because she has been empty since the day she lost her lover. If they were both alive, they should have gotten married today... line to the studio, stay tuned for the next news"

— 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐓 | Reo Mikage

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 4.9k (4964)

𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄: fluff / angst

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓: dreams that always seemed achievable don't always remain so. pro!player Reo Mikage, adult AU. mention of death, guns, suicide (not described and not heavy to read)

The air is tense, the whole stadium doesn't even dare to breathe. The few who speak do so to pray, pray that that damned goal enters the net and thus marks the team's victory. The most audible noise is that of football boots running on the green lawn, and of the hits the ball receives in the shooting area. Everyone trembles, even the security or cleaning workers who stopped only to witness the possible victory or defeat

The ball flies into the air, a member of the enemy team tries to catch it but it is promptly passed back by a teammate. Even the smallest second counts in matters like these, so all enemy defenders try to regain possession of the ball as quickly as possible. It's a matter of less than a second when someone emerges from midfield, shoes tightly tightened and a blue uniform dressed with honour

With a sharp kick, the ball ends up in the net without even giving the goalkeeper the chance to realize which direction it is coming from

The stadium explodes, the screams become even too loud for the human ear to bear. The winning team cries, everyone throws themselves on the person who kicked the winning goal: Reo Mikage, Japan striker and soon to be your future husband

You join in the screams, and the tears you had contained until then pour out like a raging river. Sitting in the stands dedicated to the players' families, you hug the jacket with the visible writing "Mikage #1 Fan" that you had taken off due to the heat. You look up at the field again and find your boyfriend's soft eyes staring at you: he looks at you in a special way, but with a look that is much more proud than any other time. His irises scream "Did you see? You're happy? Are you proud?" and you can't help but let out a nervous laugh as you wipe away your tears

From the large screen placed in front of you, Reo's goal is broadcast again, and immediately afterwards, a recording of your reaction is accompanied. You die of embarrassment, but after years of being his girlfriend you're used to things like this. While the cameras are still filming you and the screams are continuing, you come down from the stands quickly putting on your jacket; you jump the steps that separate you from the pitch and even before you get close to the net you find yourself in the arms of Reo, who has escaped from his teammates to run to you

You hold him tightly to you, while he surrounds your waist with his body now all wet with sweat. The purple hair plastered to his forehead and his still slightly short breath make him so damn cute that you're surprised not to find any small or hidden imperfections in him. Even after being engaded to him for 10 years, every day you fall in love with Reo Mikage again

"You were very good" you whisper, remaining hugged to him, feeling his body trembling with emotion "Really very good" you say, breaking away from his embrace, while he holds you close to him, placing his hands on your hips. You dry your tears laughing, but he moves your hand away and with a thumb he wipes away the last tears at the edge of your eyes "It's thanks to you. Knowing that you were here only gave me determination" he says, wiping away the last tear, to then place a sweet kiss on your forehead

"REOOOOOO" shouts one of his teammates, who motions for him to come to the center of the field where they are opening some sparkling wines. You laugh at the emotional faces of his colleagues, however you notice a bit of dissent on his face "What's bothering you now?" you ask, and he pulls you into another hug "I want to stay here with you" he sighs, and even though you want this too, you know he has to celebrate because he won a really important match "Don't worry. I'll wait for you here" you say caressing him sweaty hair, and even though he doesn't seem to agree, he accepts. You break away from the hug, but before you can even turn around he pulls you by the wrist and, placing his hand halfway down your back, kisses you. The stadium erupts into another roar, and the image of the hottest couple of the moment is broadcast on the arena's big screen

You place your free hands on his cheeks, smiling as he presses his lips to yours. He breaks away shortly after and without saying a word, he runs away with his teammate. You remain enchanted by the kiss for a few more seconds, but you immediately compose yourself, and with a feeling of lightness, you step aside a little. You enjoy his happiness from afar, the emotion that lives in him as he lifts the cup while he is at the center of his team, who celebrate him like never before. Today's match was particularly complicated, fortunately ending with a 6-5 after almost the entire second half of the game was characterized by yellow cards. Today's match brings home an old trophy that Japan hadn't won for 27 years, but thanks to your boyfriend, can once again say it's Japanese property

The players enjoy moments of happiness after 90 minutes, including 2 extra minutes, of pure agony. Immediately someone is picked up by journalists for the usual interviews, but a large part rushes towards Reo with microphones and cameras ready to record his words. You understand that at the moment you can't be with him because he will surely have to have some interviews, so you decide to take his bag from the side of the field and stand at the end of the crowd of journalists, who otherwise will crush you

"Anxious?" asks a voice you recognize well "Enough. You? You just won a game, Nagi" you say turning, where you find your boyfriend's best friend, who seems to have escaped from the journalists "Nothing overly exciting. I just sweated more than expected" he says doing a few close to you, taking Mikage's bag "I'll bring it to him when we go to the locker room, don't worry" he says, knowing you can't say no "Thank you, and above all... you were very good too" you say crossing arms, finally with free hands. The boy shrugs, then continues straight where a line of journalists begins to follow him. You giggle at the scene, and before you can notice, Reo steps forward into the crowd of reporters only to pull you by the wrist and make you come with him “What do you want to do?” you ask entering the crowd of people, who however let you pass quite a bit "My wife can participate in the interviews, right?" he says giving you a determined look, and your heart skips a beat at that moment

Reo had proposed to you about six months ago, and at the end of this month, you would have become husband and wife. You had been together since he was 19 and you were 18, having met thanks to Ego's strange experiment: you worked as Anri's assistant, and more than a few times you had happened to sneak from the control room to some training camp. You once came across a former teammate of his in training, who, seeing a woman after months of "prisoner" inside the Blue Lock, had had a rather excessive reaction. Hearing your screams as you ran into the training field while escaping from the boy who proclaimed a kiss, someone had decided to check what was happening: that someone was Reo

Reo had more or less calmed down his teammate, giving you the option to lock yourself in one of the locker rooms for protection. Once the boy left, Mikage came to the locker room to check on your condition and, despite knowing that it was not legal for you to be there, he asked Anri and Ego to have you checked by a doctor to make sure that you were okay. That was your first meeting 11 years ago, and throughout his stay at the Blue Lock facility, you communicated through letters you hid in the cafeteria. Knowing that you certainly couldn't meet him, you had hidden a letter of thanks in the tray that you knew would end up with him. A few days later, while cleaning the cafeteria under Anri's orders, you found a reply letter from him, hidden in the empty rice bowl. You had sent a letter again, hiding it in the tray, and he had replied to you again. This has been your method of communication for over two years, until his exit by elimination

From the first letter, you had started rooting for him in every match, and maybe for you it was even love at first sight. Reo was one of the last to leave the Blue Lock, but he was practically immediately taken into an equally strong Japan team, and then with a bit of luck, he still managed to join the official Japan team at the end. As soon as he left the facility, you introduced yourself to him, and after not even a few months of knowing each other, he was actually the one who asked you to be his girlfriend. You had been together for 10 years now and every day you were grateful that you had the chance to be with such a fabulous guy. You had met his parents almost immediately, and you were quite surprised to find out about his family's heritage, which Reo didn't show off out

Together, you arrive in front of the journalist's cameras, who welcomes both of you with a light smile. "What were we saying?" says the boy, holding you close, putting his arm around your shoulders "Oh, we were talking about the match. The goal was decisive for the team's victory, and the fact that it was scored by you, who at the moment is one of the most loved and followed, it makes the fans crazy about you" says the man holding the microphone "Even for me it is unthinkable to have made the winning move for such an important match, but I had already thought of having to do it today to dedicate it to her. The goal is for Japan, but above all for my wife" he says in one breath, and the cameras get closer and closer. The journalist bursts into genuine laughter, while your cheeks get a little redder at his words "Prove your power to your wife, huh? But if I'm not mistaken, your wedding is still a few days away" says the man, and Reo nods "The wedding will be on the 28th of this month, but I have considered Y/n my wife for a long time already. The wedding is just an excuse to see her in the white dress" he says jokingly, and everyone bursts in a laugh, including you "I understand. So we can already call you Y/n Mikage, miss?" the man says, shifting his attention to you "Oh, if you want to, do it. It pleases me enormously" you nod, and Reo kisses your hair delicately, and you can already imagine the myriad of edits you will see when scrolling through Tiktok or Instagram of this scene

"Well, I don't know what else to say other than to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. Are there any other plans in mind, work or personal?" the journalist asks, and at the same moment you and Reo turn to look at each other, a little thoughtful "Work... I think I'll continue with the Japanese team, I struggled to get into the team and above all I can't abandon my best friend and the other teammates alone... personal, in addition to marriage..." Reo says not really wanting to answer the question "We will have a family. We would like to have two or three children" you say answering the question. You know well that Reo didn't want to answer because neither of you had decided to tell the world, because you had talked about the 'children' issue relatively recently but you both agreed with the idea of ​​having them immediately after marriage "What she said" Reo says sighing, but with a smile on his face

The journalist nods, thanks for the time dedicated and leaves room for others, who would only like to have the same answers you gave to the man "Can you do me a favor? Can you waiting for me in front of the locker room? I should take a while and I know you won't particularly love answering the questions they ask you" he says while another journalist positions himself in front of you, with the microphone ready "Sure, see you there" you say, stepping aside, and you mentally thank him since sooner or later some journalist will ask you he would ask some strange question, as has already happened in some interviews where you appeared at the request of the television stations

Once you arrive at the door, you wait there for about twenty minutes. Some teammates start to enter, greeting you because they know you anyway. Nagi arrives after a while, with Reo's bag "He's still finishing the interviews, he told me it will take a while longer. Do you need a ride home?" the boy asks before entering the locker room "I want to wait for him, maybe I'll sit in the stadium cafeteria" you say shaking your hand, greeting him. Nagi nods and enters the room, and soon after, the rest of the players leave, and you hear them talking about a certain dinner

About another hour passes before you see Reo pop into the hallway. “Still here?” he asks, seeing you from afar, motioning for you to enter the locker room with him because he's the only one who still has to change "I waited" you say nodding, sitting on the central bench of the room, while your boyfriend opens his locker "It was more tiring answering everyone's questions rather than winning the game..." he says sighing, taking off his player t-shirt filled of sweat "I suspected it. Did they ask you any particular questions?" you ask as you see him grab a change of underwear, before also taking off his shorts and his underwear; although naked, you've seen him so many times that you're no longer surprised "Oh, one about marriage. They asked me if I forced you to marry me just to maintain a homosexual relationship with Nagi" he says rolling his eyes, entering the showers of the changing room. You burst out laughing at his answer, trying to avoid the tears caused by laughter "With Nagi? You should collaborate less on the field, then" you say passing him the bubble bath

"Ugh, don't make me think. When they asked me that question I didn't know whether to slap the reporter or not. Hell, I'm getting married in less than two weeks!" he says annoyed, pointing to the shampoo "These are questions made specifically to create hype, don't worry" you say passing him the shampoo, which he passes through his purple hair "Tired?" you ask, seeing him wash himself. “A little. But I think I have plans tonight, or rather, we have” he says, water splashing on him "What do you mean?” you ask in surprise "The team was talking about a possible dinner at a restaurant to celebrate the victory. Players and girlfriends included" he says turning off the shower jet on his hair to rinse it "Oh! I understand, some of them were talking about it when they came out of the locker room" you say remembering the boys who were talking about it earlier "I would like not to go and spend the evening at home, possibly in bed, but my father finances that restaurant... I think we have to go" he says sighing, wrapping a towel around his waist before getting out of the shower

"Okay. Do you know what time?" you ask crossing your legs “I think 10pm” you say as he dries himself off grabbing another towel. Reo puts on his underwear, his hair still a little wet and his chest clean and smelling good. You smile at him, motioning for him to sit on the bench "Rest a bit. I'll take care of the hair" you say, getting up, taking the hairdryer from the locker room, which you pass through your boyfriend's hair as soon as it's turned on. Reo relaxes as you run your hand through his hair, the warm air drying it quickly and making the room slightly warmer. You comb them delicately, and then put them in the little ponytail that he usually always wear

"Thank you" he says when he sees through the mirror of the room that you have done "You're welcome!" you say, leaving a kiss on his cheek. Before you can even break the closeness, he places his arm around your waist, holding you close to him; you place your hands on his bare chest and feel him relax a little as he hugs you "I can't wait for the wedding day" he whispers close to your ear, tightening his grip "The idea of ​​seeing you shine in your wedding dress, I can't get her out of my head. I've always been annoyed by crying in front of others but I think that day I'll care less than nothing" he says, leaving a few kisses on your neck, not in a lustful way, but rather in an affectionate way. You wrap your hands around his neck and let your bodies touch "Bride of the Mikage heir... I'll take your surname too, how strange" you say resting your forehead on his shoulder, with his chest heaving he lowers and raises slowly "Y/n Mikage. I could die, once everything is official" the boy says, and a small laugh spontaneously escapes your lips "And yet it will happen soon. What we have been planning since we got together so many years ago is about to happen" you say enjoying the contact with your future husband. This time Reo is the one chuckling, as he breaks away for a few moments just to look at your face "I may not be the strongest attacker in the world, but I think I won in another way" he says, and you look at him fascinated, affectionately throwing him a cheek "You are also the strongest striker in the world!" you say scolding him ironically, and both of you can't help but laugh

A few hours pass before you both find yourself at the entrance of the luxurious restaurant, chosen by the team coach. You shine in your long pearly white dress, adorned with a fur of the same color. Arm in arm with you is obviously Reo, who instead opted for a black suit. A crowd of photographers and more journalists fills the sides of the restaurant avenue, creating a crowd with also several fans. Reo greets everyone and more than a few people ask for his autograph, which he signs extremely quickly. Some fans greet you too, and you happily return the greeting: fortunately, Reo's fanbase loves you, or rather, loves your couple. You are trending on any app due to the news of the wedding, and every day you are happy to see the positive comments on social media under the posts dedicated to Reo's career, to you, or to your couple

The restaurant is one you already know because of Mikage's father, who let you dine in there, knowing the owner, for some dates or family reunion that you also attended. An entire room, larger than the house you used to live in before living with Reo, was taken over solely to hold all the players and their partners. You know some of the girlfriends of Reo's other colleagues, that you greet with a wave of the hand or by talking to those with you have familiar. Everyone present sits at the seats placed along the entire table, and you end up between Reo's seat and that of Honna, a girl wherewith you have a good relationship

The dinner proceeds peacefully, filled with the various toasts that the table makes for the team's upcoming victories. One topic that often comes up is your marriage, and both you and Reo are a little embarrassed to have to answer all the questions, but you know that people ask them with good intentions and not with malice

The evening drags on, and it's already past one in the morning when, by chance, you see some waiters passing by your table with some security guards. You're a little perplexed, and Reo seems to notice. "Did something happen?" he asks, leaning towards you a little more "I don't know. It's strange that some security guards passed..." you say thoughtfully, seeing how some of them have just closed the door of the room where you are. Reo turns around, also noticing the strange movement "I noticed" he says, returning to look at the movement near the door "Wait here" he says, and then asks Nagi and another teammate to get up with him. You watch him get up with the two boys, and with a slow pace they approach the door, where a couple of waiters have positioned themselves. You try to reassure yourself that it's just your stupid paranoia, so you calmly go back to the topic you were talking about with Honna. You spend more than 5 minutes talking, but Reo doesn't seem to come back: you turn around and he's still talking to the waiters, but why doesn't he come back? What are they talking about that makes the waiter seem so worried?

You apologize to Honna and get up, walking towards your boyfriend. The closer you get, the more you hear words you don't like, but you think they've simply changed the topic. You come up behind Reo, and gently tug at his jacket sleeve to get his attention "Hey" you say, and he turns around; his face looks very worried "Is something happening?" you ask. The boy looks down, sighing as he runs a hand through his hair "There's some problem outside the restaurant, some fans of the opposing team are making a mess..." he says, biting his lips. You look at him a little perplexed "Is it serious? You seem worried" you ask "The police are coming because they suspect he has a weapon, but it wouldn't be anything serious. He can't enter the restaurant with all that security" he says trying to smile, but you understand that he's only doing it so you don't worry "Reo, shouldn't we be leaving? We ask to leave through the back door of the kitchen..." you ask, resting your head against his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around your waist "Don't worry. It's nothing serious, really" he says kissing your forehead

Back at the table, however, your mind is a tangle of thoughts. In a remote corner of your mind, you think that the man's goal is Reo himself: after all, he kicked the decisive and victorious goal, and thanks to him if the enemy team lost. You tell yourself that these are useless worries, but you can't calm down. The dinner continues as if it were nothing, and no one has warned of the man's presence, probably kept secret from the team so as not to trigger unnecessary alarms. You sigh continuously and play nervously with the fabric of the tablecloth, trying to appear calm when you're not even a little. "Darling" he says suddenly grabbing your hand, massaging the palm gently "If you're not calm, let's go. I ask to get a taxi to pass as soon as possible and let's go home" he says as he continues to massage your hand, getting down on the thigh. You nod, and while Reo apologizes to the others for leaving so suddenly, you put your fur coat back on

He takes your wrist loosely, guiding you towards the exit where you know he'll ask to go through the kitchens. You breathe a sigh of relief knowing you're finally leaving, but you hear a window glass shatter. The whole room including you turns towards the main noise, where, scattered between the glass, a man is lying curled up on the floor

Many players and partners stand up, and you feel Reo's grip pushing you a little further behind him, behind his back. Everyone observes the man with a few pieces of glass stuck in his skin, and some waiter rushes towards the unknown person, and before anyone even realizes it, a gun is noticed hidden between his trousers and shirt

“Fuck" Reo says, placing a hand on your head to pull you down. Your breath catches in your throat when you see the weapon, pulling your boyfriend as far as you can under the shelter of a vase “Oh my god” you say panicked, starting to tremble. The man moves all the waiters who go against him, and more than a slight glance at the other players, his attention is completely captured by Reo. The emblem clearly visible on the man's shirt is that of the team that lost today

"Please, hide yourself better near the vase" you say again behind his back, but Reo only dismisses you by keeping an arm around you, keeping you firmly covered "Don't move" he orders you as he tries to hide you. The trembling is also joined by tears, which fall silently due to panic "Reo please listen to me, hide" you say practically begging him, but he doesn't seem to give in "Don't worry, put yourself here" he says, forcing you under the protection of vase. You hold his arm close to you, crying into it “I'm fine" he says, turning away for a second, but it doesn't take long before his body jolts suddenly

A little further away, the man with the gun pointed at your boyfriend, fires the shot. The bullet runs fast, landing precisely against Reo's back. Your boyfriend freezes, moving his pupils towards his chest where the tip of the bullet exits his chest. Your mind stops at the precise moment Reo gasps, and still in shock, his body ends up against yours. You find Reo's head on your shoulder, your chests against each other where you feel your dress quickly getting stained with blood. His blood

“Oh my god...” you say not daring to look down where your boyfriend is “Oh my god...” you say louder as your breathing becomes erratic. You dare to look at your boyfriend for just one second, and it's enough for you to burst into a desperate scream as you try to fix him in front of you. "REO!" you scream holding his cheeks, moving your hands to his shoulders “REO DAMN ANSWER ME” you scream even louder, but his gaze seems completely blank. Your gaze wanders between his face, the wound that's getting bigger and bigger, and the way he's slowly breathing more and more laboriously

You tremble like a wet dog, trying to stay calm because you know it's the only thing you can do at the moment "Reo, please, answer me" you say shaking him slightly, but beyond a light batting of his eyelashes, no reactions come from him. The world falls on you the moment you see his chest swell in a last desperate attempt to breathe. "Reo I'm begging you, give me a sign that you're okay" you say as you observe him, and the more seconds pass, the more you feel that your boyfriend is abandoning you. Out of nowhere a small smile appears on his lips, he closes his eyes and with difficulty moves closer to your ear

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I really do, darling. Thank you for making me so happy when you gave me the chance to be your husband"

Reo utters words before collapsing onto you, with his head on your shoulder. His chest no longer moves and you no longer hear his heart beating

You remain paralyzed, your hands unable to touch his back. You stop breathing the same moment Reo leaves. The heaviness of the world falls on you, and in passing, you momentarily see before you a possible scene that could soon have happened: you and Reo with two wedding rings on your fingers, while you have children around you who laugh and play peacefully

You explode into a desperate scream, calling the name of your now dead husband. You look for signs of life in his face, but what you see is only horrible death; you hold him close, bursting into desperate tears. Everyone is probably watching you, even your lover's killer. The pain you feel in this moment is unlike any in the world: it is a wound that is not yet finished, which is slowly tearing your flesh apart while it enjoys your torment, and you already know that even if it never heals, it will never be completely healable

Morning newspaper: Tokyo Today News - 28/08

Journalist: "Y/n Y/s, girlfriend of the recently deceased Reo Mikage, heir to the Mikage fortune and important player of the Japanese team as a striker, was found dead this morning. The woman left a letter specifying that she took her own life because she has been empty since the day she lost her lover. If they were both alive, they should have gotten married today... line to the studio, stay tuned for the next news"

Narcissus Game

Angst? — In which the resident heartbreaking womanizers of Blue Lock get played at their own game by some random girl. [Author's Note]: This came about because I was thinking about making an OC that matched Aiku and Otoya's energy, so that's why this is centered around those two, but you could honestly switch out the one time I mentioned their names for someone else. Anyway, I got carried away with my thinking and planning, which brings us here to this imagine. Enjoy(?)!

She was someone who fit their standards and matched the description of their ideal types, though Otoya's preferences change a lot, so maybe she doesn't actually, but he did say his type was someone bright and honest, and she was exactly that. A refreshingly bright and honest girl who was very charming and charismatic, too. Y'know, the one who can say the most shocking and outrageous things and get away with it because that's just how she is. Aiku's type is someone who looks like they aren't a hassle to break up with, and she's exactly that. Cute with an easygoing vibe, she was popular and constantly surrounded by people. The type who'd draw others in like a moth to a flame, and that's how she gets them.

Like all their flings, it was nothing serious. Just a few dates, maybe a bit of intimacy here and there, but it was all for fun.

Perhaps a bit too fun, like a game. One that they would all want to play over and over and over again.

That's why there were others in their so-called relationship, but she never bat an eye over them. Makeup? Clothes? Perfume? Hairties? Another woman in her entirety? Absolutely nothing. Seeing her ignore the constant affairs was kind of sweet, if not downright pathetic.

Nonetheless, to these egoists, it was like a dream come true.

Surely, she just loved them so much that she turned a blind eye to everything. No, she has to. Just like that, whether they were aware of it or not, their affairs started to dwindle, and they never took it too far because they were sure of it.

She had to be the one.

It isn't until they see her with the other that their dreams become a nightmare. But it made sense. Neither one of them paid much attention to her, and why would she hound them if she also had a plethora of lovers herself? These poor boys, so full of themselves that they couldn't even fathom being sidepieces as well, and the fact that she perfectly matched their ideal type just added salt to the wound.

Maybe it was because they loved her that she was so bright to them at the moment that it burned as she gave them the most honest and brutal breakup they'd ever experienced with no hassle. Or perhaps it was because they were sore losers who knew that with the two of them, love was a game, and she just won. All because they fell for the behavior she reflected back at them, like the narcissists they were.

"I DON'T THINK I LOVE YOU ANYMORE."

(I hate this post so much pretend this doesnt exist😭😭)

....alone again???...

ANGST

michael kaiser x fem reader

reader had abandonment issues (real😂😂🤑🤑)

(my sensitive ass cannot handle angst but whatever)

"And do you know what she said???" You asked Michael, a soft grin plastered on your face. You and Michael were currently in café on a date together, you couldn't lie you were over the moon to be spending time with your boyfriend he's been so busy with football you've been barely able to see him.

"She—" You say but something seemed off with Michael. "Micha, are you listening to me???" You ask him your grin being replaced with a small concerned frown.

"What??— yes, of course I am, meine süße." Michael reassures you, but you could tell he wasn't interested in you babbling about whatever. You can feel getting nervous, but you can't help yourself in past relationships, you've been told you're too clingy and always needed constant revaluation that your relationship will work out.

"Y/N, I need to talk to you. Could you wait outside the café for me?? Don't worry, I'll pay for the drink." Michael asks you as he gets up, taking his wallet out of his back pocket. While you walked out to the door, the cool winter air hit your face as you stood there waiting for Michael. Your brain was running through all the possibilities that might happen. Does he want to break up with you??? Does he not love you anymore??? You feel yourself getting more and more nervous by the second that's until you hear his voice.

"Y/N, I'm gonna cut to the chase, I don't think I love you anymore." Michael says, his voice not faulting one bit. He saw you stood there, the corners of your mouth lowering, your eyelids drooping. The only words you could muster up was.

"Why???" You muttered meekly. It took you every fibre in your being, not to break down crying and begging him to say. Michael let out a low sigh, he knew this wouldn't be easy for you.

"You're too clingy, and you always want to meet up with me. I don't think you fucking understand Y/N. I have a career, a life ahead of me, and you're distracting me from my dream with your constant need for fucking reassurance 24/7." Michael scoffs, not caring about your feelings at this point, he didn't want sugar coat his word, she needed to hear what he felt even if it meant crushing her heart into a million pieces.

"Michael, p-please don't— you can't do this to me, please, Michael, I fix myself!! I won't be clingy no more. Just please don't leave me." You beg, your voice trembling with desperation. Michael looks down at you, his eyes boring into yours.

"Sorry, guess we were just never meant to be."

It's been 2 weeks after breaking up with Michael, 2 weeks without hearing his voice, 2 weeks without him telling you he loves you. You sat there alone in your dark, somewhat gloomy bedroom. You're currently looking at old texts between you and Michael. All the promises, all stupid corny texts he would send you. You loved him too fucking much, and look what happened you got your heart broken again. You looked at your most recent texts, tears streaming down your face, your mascara running down your face.

'I love you, schön. I can't wait till I kiss that pretty face of yours again.' Was the last text you got from Michael. Where did it all go wrong??? Why can't someone just love you and just accept that you'd clingy??? Why does everyone have to abandon you??? Leave you??? Why are you always alone???

"I DON'T THINK I LOVE YOU ANYMORE."

....alone again???...

ANGST

michael kaiser x fem reader

reader had abandonment issues (real😂😂🤑🤑)

(my sensitive ass cannot handle angst but whatever)

"And do you know what she said???" You asked Michael, a soft grin plastered on your face. You and Michael were currently in café on a date together, you couldn't lie you were over the moon to be spending time with your boyfriend he's been so busy with football you've been barely able to see him.

"She—" You say but something seemed off with Michael. "Micha, are you listening to me???" You ask him your grin being replaced with a small concerned frown.

"What??— yes, of course I am, meine süße." Michael reassures you, but you could tell he wasn't interested in you babbling about whatever. You can feel getting nervous, but you can't help yourself in past relationships, you've been told you're too clingy and always needed constant revaluation that your relationship will work out.

"Y/N, I need to talk to you. Could you wait outside the café for me?? Don't worry, I'll pay for the drink." Michael asks you as he gets up, taking his wallet out of his back pocket. While you walked out to the door, the cool winter air hit your face as you stood there waiting for Michael. Your brain was running through all the possibilities that might happen. Does he want to break up with you??? Does he not love you anymore??? You feel yourself getting more and more nervous by the second that's until you hear his voice.

"Y/N, I'm gonna cut to the chase, I don't think I love you anymore." Michael says, his voice not faulting one bit. He saw you stood there, the corners of your mouth lowering, your eyelids drooping. The only words you could muster up was.

"Why???" You muttered meekly. It took you every fibre in your being, not to break down crying and begging him to say. Michael let out a low sigh, he knew this wouldn't be easy for you.

"You're too clingy, and you always want to meet up with me. I don't think you fucking understand Y/N. I have a career, a life ahead of me, and you're distracting me from my dream with your constant need for fucking reassurance 24/7." Michael scoffs, not caring about your feelings at this point, he didn't want sugar coat his word, she needed to hear what he felt even if it meant crushing her heart into a million pieces.

"Michael, p-please don't— you can't do this to me, please, Michael, I fix myself!! I won't be clingy no more. Just please don't leave me." You beg, your voice trembling with desperation. Michael looks down at you, his eyes boring into yours.

"Sorry, guess we were just never meant to be."

It's been 2 weeks after breaking up with Michael, 2 weeks without hearing his voice, 2 weeks without him telling you he loves you. You sat there alone in your dark, somewhat gloomy bedroom. You're currently looking at old texts between you and Michael. All the promises, all stupid corny texts he would send you. You loved him too fucking much, and look what happened you got your heart broken again. You looked at your most recent texts, tears streaming down your face, your mascara running down your face.

'I love you, schön. I can't wait till I kiss that pretty face of yours again.' Was the last text you got from Michael. Where did it all go wrong??? Why can't someone just love you and just accept that you'd clingy??? Why does everyone have to abandon you??? Leave you??? Why are you always alone???

SAE U FUCKING BASTARDDADDAD FUCK UUUUU HES UR BROTHER LIKEEE WAHT WRONG WITH U 😒😒😒 YOU HEARTLESS DICKKK

(i bawled my eyes out when I read this chapter for the first time🙁🙁🙁 ik like spain changed sae and shit but man fuck u sae☹️☹️)

The fact that on sae wiki he spends his holidays looking at the sea...... man I'm not okay 😞😞😞🤧🤧🤧🤧

(itoshi brothers make me go through the 5 stages of grief oml)

WHO ARE YOU???

....its not like you every cared...

wild card!! kunigami rensuke x fem!! reader

ANGSTT

probably ooc

not proofread

Today was the day that you were finally going to meet Kunigami after not seeing him in what felt like decades. You were a small local café sitting down waiting for him, you already had a cup of tea but he would be here soon, right???. You were excited about meeting him. All you wanted to do was go up a hug him to death and give him millions of kisses all over his face. But even with all that excitement, you knew that kunigami would be different, he's text messages have been so dry, like there was a drone texting you and when you'd watch his newer matches he looked so tired, so drained, like he was more of a soccer drone the an actual human being. When he saw you, would he want to break up with you??? Would he even show up???

You can fondly remember the last day before he went to blue lock he took you out on beach date, and you can remember him kissing you at sunset, promising you that he would text you everyday, call you everyday and when he'd would come back to smother you in kisses and hug you to death, but now your not sure he'd even come to the café at all!!!

You continued to overthink when you suddenly felt a strong hand on your shoulder. "Y/N." Kunigami says he voice sounding emotionless and cold. Without another word, he sat down across from you. god, he looked so tired, so dead looking.

"Oh, Rensuke, ah— how are you???" You say, smiling at him, trying to mask your nervousness. Fuck, you couldn't lie but you felt a bit intimated by him, he was so closed off, you just which you knew what happened so you could help him!!!

"Fine." He responds, he sounds like he couldn't care less about this conversation or this 'date' if you could even call it that at this point. He was not making it easy to keep the conversation going.

"And how's your sisters???" You ask, hoping he would make it more akward than it already was. Thinking about it, know he didn't even hug you, fuck now you were overthinking even more.

"There good." He answers, not any hint of interest in his voice. "That's good!!" You respond, trying to be as nice as possible. You started to pour yourself some tea, trying your best not to worry, its gonna be fineeee.

"Y/N. I'm here cause I want to be clear with you." Kunigami starts speaking, his eyes boring into yours. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you wanted disappear, run away, you wanted to be anywhere but here. "I've thought about it, and we should break up. You're distracting me from my football, and I can't let that happen. I hope you understand." He says blanked face, still staring at you. You could feel yourself frowning, your eyes darting around the place, you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, you let out a measly "What??" You looked down at the table, staring at the cup of tea, trying not to start sob. You began wiping your tears, feeling like your heart has been trampled on. What a piece of shit.

"I have to go Y/N." Kunigami says, getting up. You had a gut feeling it was going to happen, but God did it hurt. "Rensuke— please, please don't leave me— I love you, —i need you, please." You plead, sobbing quietly, your breathing becoming slightly erratic. You knew it sounded pathetic and needy, but you'd do anything to keep this relationship going.

"Sorry." Kunigami murmurs and turns around quickly. "And don't keep chasing for me, I won't take up back." He stopped for a second and then began to walk away, not saying another word. He didn't even turn around and face you, didn't have to balls to make eye contact why you were pleading with him, your mascara running down your face. This Kunigami was a complete stranger to you, who even was he???

(sorry, I haven't posted for like 4 days. i have such a bad toothache that I've been crying 🤕🤕🤕)

Loving you was a loosing game...

Angst collab with @saelique ༊࿐

A/n:Hey lovesss!! This is my work for Cinna's angst collab with Reo Mikage<33 i hope you all enjoy and go check out her collab💜

Genre:angst/no comfort Pairing:Reo Mikage Type:one shot

Loading...

Did you know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Reo? Yes. Or at least that's what you thought. You knew about your boyfriend's love towards his best friend amd you didn't really mind it, well you didn't.

Him and Nagi were spending way much more time together, since they got interested in football. You again don't mind it that much, after all he is your boyfriend and you want him to be happy. But at the same time-it wasn't fair. You knew Reo longer than Nagi did and he most of time was somehow ignoring you. He didn't do it on purpose, right? No. He wouldn't do that.

Now you were sitting in class thinking about that, while Reo and Nagi were a seat ahead of you. Of course Nagi was sleeping. Your thoughts were interrupted by the bell ringing. You packed your things and started walking through the door. You thought about waiting for Reo, but he was already busy trying to wake up Nagi from his hibernation.

Days has been awfully quiet. Still pushing though aside you decided to meet with your boyfriend so things could get back to how they were. You texted him quickly to meet up tomorrow since it was a friday evening. He replied faster than usual and agreed. You smiled and put your phone away. Well, time for getting homework done for tomorrow.

You're getting ready for the "date", well at least sort of a date. But it didn't matter it was finally time for you hang out with your boyfriend. You came to the location, patiently waiting for Reo. Waiting.. waiting..ughhhhh.... Okay, okay, calm down.. training might just hold him up right? Just wait a bit longer and check out your phon- ... Nagi, Nagi, Nagi.. enough. You went straight home after his not even bothering to text Reo. He didn't text you either so it's gonna be that way.

Instead of saying something you started being cold to him, not giving him the same attention. Did he noticed that? You can't really tell which explains a lot, but still. You loved Reo and you thought he loved you too, but seems like his best friend was more important. You couldn't continue lying yourself so you decided thar it's time.

Talk to him? How? When there is not time hm? Football, Nagi, Football, Nagi. In that moment your parents bursted into the room. Your father got a different job in another city so you're moving out of here. Well just perfect.

The next day you remembered your boyfriend had a training so you decided to go and wait for him 'till he finishes it and talk to him. On your way there though you saw no other than Nagi himself who was being late because he slept in. As you approached him an idea popped in your mind. You took out a pen and a paper and after writing on it you gave it to Nagi asking him to give it to Reo. He agreed and went to his training.

There you are now. Sitting on your desk completely ignoring the topic the teacher is talking about. There is no one that you know in the desk in front you... You have blocked Reo's and number and all of his social medias, so you didn't know if he got the paper, but if he didn't he probably figured out what happened.

When break came you were on your phone, when you suddenly saw an article. "Blue lock project" amd there they were their names.

...

-Nagi Seishiro

-Reo Mikage

...

You smiled to yourself when you saw his name. Well at least now he have got the two things he loved the most in his live.

© mariaace 2024 please do not steal, copy, translate or plagiarize. Thank you.

HIII IT'S ME HRU OMG WAIT IM GONNA GO DM U ON DISCORD BUT BFR THAT

gut wrenching angst. rin. insecure rin. do it. PLEASEEEEE 😭😭😭

A/n:HELLO SANA!! I'M NOT SO GOOD BUT THANKS FOR ASKING, YOU?? ALSO ANGST RIN?? IS THAT HOW YOU ARE GONNA DIVORCE ME?? anyways i hope you like it<3

Warnings:angst (w/comfort); insecure Rin; established relationship

Genre:Angst (w/comfort) Type:one-shot

Loading...

'Was it really worth it?' 'What if i never make it?' 'What if Yoichi is actually better?' 'What if...' What if. Those were the thoughts running through Rin's mind right now. Did he often think about that? Yes. Does anyone know? No, well at least he didn't want anyone to know. But at the same time...

Ugh he couldn't keep up like this anymore. *Can you come over?* Was the texts you got from him. *Yeah, sure.* Rin is currently sitting with his legs crossed on his bed thinking and thinking and thinking...

What if things don't turn out the right way? What if Sae hates him forever? What if he fails to be become the best??? What if?? What if... "Breathe." He said to himself. He took a deep breath, bust still couldn't get these thoughts out of his head.

They just kept going. It was like he was having flashbacks. Was he all alone? Against everything and everyone? No. He had you- he thought and suddenly his eyes widened. What if you leave him? What if you think he can't be good enough? What if he isn't good enough?

This wasn't the first time he have these kind of thoughts. About soccer. But now it about you. You, who were with him all the time. You, who always spend your time with him. You, who supported him in everything at every moment. So what if he loses you know?? What will he do?? What if... He started panicking. His hands started to shake, his breathing got heavily. Oh no-

"Rin!!" You quickly shut the door, when you saw your boyfriend in that state. What was happening with him? He got up and walked up to as soon as he heard your voice. You were suddenly wrapped in his arms, that were still shaking. His head rested on your shoulder, he was squeezing you tightly.

As you putted your hands around him, still in shock of the situation, you heard him. Was he... crying? What happened? You knew Rin tho. Things should not be punched with him. He will tell you once he is calmed. "Let's sit on the bed, okay?" He nodded as you both sat and you took his hands, that were still a little shaking.

"Rin?" "Yes?" "Do you want to talk?" You asked hesitant. If he didn't want to, you wouldn't force him to, but how could you help him without knowing what's happening?

Rin took a deep breath and he started explaining the situation. All the times he had different thoughts, about everything that could happen, about soccer, his competition, Sae... How he didn't know what to do, how he was scared of what might happen. His voice was shaky as he spoke, eyes watery.

"Now the thoughts were even about you." Your eyes widened. "Me? But..." You would never hurt Rin, you would never leave him. And he knew it. "I can't control it. There are just some times i can't stop thinking about things." You suddenly pulled him into a hug. "Things like this would never happen, okay? I will always be here with you." "You promise?" "I promise."

He smiled as you kissed him. "Never hesitate to tell me when you think about this, okay?" Rin nodded and you smiled.

I don't know girly what do we think? @sanaexus

© mariaace 2024 pls do not copy, translate, steal or claim any of my works!

Reblogs are highly appreciated!

If only you know what i know

Sae itoshi x GN reader

Warnings: no fluff, angst

🍓as always i don't know much English so if something is wrong correct me 🍓

"let's stop this mess"

"what?." You're confused at sae's words

"i wanna end this relationship"

You're eyes are widen and you raise your head from his shoulder to look at him

"what do you mean, did i do something wrong, i didn't forget any important things?"

Sae stop you from talking and just walked to the bedroom

"sae please what's wrong? Please i don't wanna end this relationship you promise me that we'll always be together I love you-"

You're words was cut by sae

"sometimes love cant be promise, you think ive loved you?"

You became silent frozen while his there taking all his clothes his really leaving you

You didn't think of anything and just hug him

"please sae please.. dont leave.. i love you"

He shrugged you off him and drag his bag

You kissed him and he gave in but pushed you away

"please sae-"

"i cheated on you.."

"what"

Theres so many happening here you wanna ask everything

"you don't deserve me, i fucked another woman than you i slept with her and kisses he-"

Sae's words didn't continue when a hand slap on his face

"how could you do this to me?. Sae i loved you, we've been together for 5 years..5 fucking years and this is what i get for loving you.!?...you know what its better if you leave now"

Sae nodded and said goodbye but you didn't make any eye contact with him you're just waiting for him to get the hell out of your apartment

"you have cancer, and I'm afraid that.. that you're son wont survive in this case, there are warnings that you didn't notice in him, its either he kept on nose bleeding"

Sae washes his nose it kept on bleeding but he shrugged it and thought it was just because of heat

"or losing weight"

When he step on the scale the nurse said he lost 3kg before he lost 2kg he kept losing weight every check up

---------------------------------------------------

He curse himself, he was panicking everything went on his mind but the one that was pinned is you, how are you gonna react to this

His been covering his hair with wigs because he didn't want you to see it

He quits soccer yet you didn't know he excused that its their break so he can spend more time with you before he say his final goodbyes

His good at hiding his weak legs

If he tells you this you will never move on, you will not stop until his better, he knows your stubborn that's why its better to make you cry now when his still alive than his dead body

You didn't know that was the last kissed

Only 7 days now..

He looked up and tears suddenly fell from his eyes

If only you know what i know

He smiled and left a note saying

I love you too..

Masterlist | about me | rules