Blackhill - Tumblr Posts
what if… everyone wasn’t straight?
idea: scene with two characters eagerly stripping each other clearly about to bone, but they keep getting interrupted by finding carefully concealed weapons in each other’s clothing, so they keep just unholstering, revealing and unstrapping increasingly ludicrous amounts of hidden guns and knives as the clothes come off, and it’s lowkey killing the mood a little
i’m gonna make a movie where two normal ladies fall in love. everything’s chill, no age gap, they’re both out of the closet, their families love them, everything’s fine. the catch is that one lady has a cat and the other lady never figured out what the cat’s name was cause the Owner Lesbian ALWAYS uses a dumb nickname and now it’s been three years and they’re getting married and it’s too late to just ask
The first time Yelena sees Maria working diligently beside Melina as they cook supper Yelena laughs so hard she falls out of her chair. Natasha can’t keep from chuckling along with her little sisters frantic laughter. “What’s so funny?” She asks with a grin.
Yelena lays curled on the ground, grabbing her stomach, trying desperately to catch her breath. “You,” was all Yelena could get out before she gasps out another giggle. “You married mom!” She finally shrieks as she breaks into hysterical laughter, as though saying it out loud just made it funnier.
Natasha looks over her shoulder with an indignant frown. Maria looks nothing like Melina. Maria looks only superficially like Melina. They are both lean women with dark hair. She sees them standing beside each other, both frowning down at something unseen on the counter. Maria gestures at something and Melina nods briskly. An action Natasha has seen Maria make nearly daily at work. Maria brushes her bangs back impatiently, more focus on her work than her hair. Exactly like Melina would do when pouring over the reports Alexi brought back. As though cued both tilt their heads in synchronization just slightly to the right, seeking a better angle to consider the task ahead of them. Natasha’s green eyes widen. “I married mom,” she whispers horrified. Her words nearly drown out by Yelena’s ongoing laughter.
A warm hand knocks against Natasha’s shoulder so hard she she nearly falls out of her own chair. “Yes!” Alexi cheers happily. “You did not see this?” Natasha flushes at the question. Alexi noticing something before her is just embarrassing. Even if he was technically a spy. “I told you! You make good choice. Pick nice girl. Your mom is best girl, but your wife is close.”
Natasha does, in fact, vividly remember him saying exactly that when he first met Maria. This realization adds a layer of context that Natasha did not want. “Oh god, why did I marry mom?” Natasha’s still too horrified to think clearly. Alexi’s good natured laugh overwhelms Yelena’s high pitched giggling. “It is rule of life. You marry one parent. You become the other. My beautiful girl is just like me.” He pounds his chest with pride and Natasha uses the freedom to sink beneath the table in shame. Yelena’s also laying on the floor, relearning how to breath. Natasha pokes her, smile licking around her lips. “Careful,” Natasha threatens, “you might end up marrying mom too.”
Yelena’s own eyes widen in horror. “I will never!” She vows.
Natasha grins teasingly and arches an eyebrow. “We’ll see.”
***
One year later when Yelena shyly introduces her sister to her beloved Natasha mouth drops open in shock. “What? What is wrong?” Yelena asks defensively. “Kate Bishop is pretty cool. Don’t try to play me.”
Natasha shakes her head. “No, she is. She’s pretty much an awkward puppy in people form. I just didn’t realize you were so against marry mom that you’re trying to marry dad.”
Yelena’s look of slow dawning horror is worth every second of teasing Natasha survived for the past year.
So Maria and Melina similar-- similar enough for Yelena to make a joke about Natasha dating her mother.
Yelena: Thank you. It was surprisingly easy once I figured out how to shut her up.
Maria: *cautiously* How, exactly, are you doing that?
Yelena: *proud* She goes silent for at least five minutes after I kiss her. It will not be long before I find a way to keep her quiet for half an hour.
Natasha/Peter/Maria:….
Natasha: Poor Kate Bishop
*BlackHill Family Dinner*
Maria: So how was everyone's day? Peter, did you learn anything new in school?
Peter: Yeah, actually. I learned a lot of history.
Natasha: I learned how to cook chicken without burning it.
Yelena: I learned how to refrain from strangling Kate Bishop every time she speaks.
Natasha: Oh wow, good job.
Peter: Yeah, that's impressive for you.
This post is a mess
I'm Maria, Maria is me
collected writings on trying to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known and seen and letting people care about you even though you're not, and probably never will be quite done getting better
all these mcu announcements ALL I WANT IS YELENAT CANON !!!!!!!!! and/or blackhill !!! LET NAT BE LESBIAN!!!!!
unmatched ship dynamic: "i've done terrible things in the past" x "all i care about is who you are in the present"
im a fucking sucker for the “character gets so badly injured that they can’t think clearly and start calling for help in a distressingly vulnerable way.” characters who start using nicknames for their friends they haven’t used since they were kids. characters who start begging for their brother they haven’t seen in years to be there. characters who would usually use their parents’ names or call them mother/father/etc crying out mama when they go down. u understand.
Motherflipper I just imagined her checking out natasha and 😩😩
Natasha: what’s your biggest nightmare?
Maria: being locked in a elevator with Clint
Natasha: what about Me?
Maria looking Maria up and down: that’s a fucking dream
Natasha: Eh, it's not that much blood I'll be fine.
Maria: Natasha, that shirt is supposed to be white.
Masterlist
Hello fellow Nat stans, my name is Jordan [any pronouns] and this is a blog I use for writing and incorrect quotes :)
Requests are open, I probably won't get to them right away but I'll write them eventually!!
My Ao3!
Natasha
How we were (& Melina Vostokoff)
Happy birthday, by the way (x reader)
Yelena
Take me home (& younger OC, platonic)
The end of us (& Vormir Natasha)
Wanda
Little red ❤️ (& daughter!reader)
MCU characters
We're the Avengers (Avengers high-school AU)
OCs
You let go (Red Room teen OC)
The Ethel incident (Nick Fury & teen OC, platonic)
