Art By Philtomato

art by Philtomato

Damn I love bumping misogynistic hip-hop classics while trying not to bawl my eyes out on the bus.

the portable heater that was keeping me alive through the most unbearable winter of my life just died 🙃 i can't believe the standards of housing here are some of the worst in the world, i sleep under a mouldy dripping ceiling with no heating and somehow i live in one of the more privileged positions of my peers. i got a whole new set of real estate agents too, going to make this entire building a hell zone until sometime notices me.

ill never forgive the people online who made me think EDs were cool and normal as a 12 year old because now im in my 20s with ARFID and my body is too weak to feed itself when i long so badly to live and exist in this world. i hate food but love the taste, no matter how sick and dying i look people still compliment my weight and at this point a sick part inside of me enjoys it because it's the only joy i get out of ruining my body like this. if any kid sees this i promise you it'll never be worth it, you are adding a chapter of self regret and body/mental trauma it'll take a long ass time to get past.

bitter, angsty, tired, confused

ive just been walking around the neighbourhood for hours and hours and hours

if im not constantly moving with music playing it all falls apart

logically, my mental illness is cured! but unfortunately mental illness is illogical.

i love & am so sorry to our earth for humanity

thankfully i live in a walkable area full of untouched nature, the few perks of living in an area with a neglectful council.

and maybe one day i can learn to love again

my own version of a meme from ig user the_okayest_computer :)