I Think Were Overdoing It With The Flowers. I Mean, Sure, If My Homecoming Date Gives Me A Rose, Thats

I think we’re overdoing it with the flowers. I mean, sure, if my homecoming date gives me a rose, that’s cute. But I think it would be so much better if she gave me a cool rock or shell. Kind of like how penguins find the most round and perfect pebble to give to their mates. If she gives me a fucking nautilus or something of the sort, I’m marrying her on the spot.

Oh my god I just realized it autocorrected to “pumping pie” and honestly I think it’s infinitely more funny that way

I want pumpkin pie so fucking bad rn.

But it’s may

Where in the skibidi can I get a pumping pie in may.

Pie

Now

Please??

Just realized I haven’t posted in a while so…

LIFE UPDATE

Finals

I am in hell

Don’t expect much funniness from me during finals.

Sorry.

Yes I am writing this instead of studying.

I was walking down the hall and a middle schooler

Lunged at me and

BIT ME

TWICE

I don’t know this kid??

Why?????

I think I have rabies my arm is purple.

Wish me luck and a speedy recovery

My Belgian friend has been real fucking quiet since I dropped this one

CHAT IVE MADE A DISCOVERY.

So I was reading this Neal deGrasse Tyson book (cuz I’m a fucking nerd) and it says that if we find intelligent life on jupiters moon Europa (the most likely candidate for life in our solar system) they would be called EUROPEANS

I KNEW IT

I KNEW THEY WEREN’T HUMAN

The original version of this post was “call me DJ Khaled the way I’m suffering from success” but I’ve now realized that my immense suffering has nothing to do with my relative success. They are just coincidentally simultaneous