it's my drama. appreciate my flaws & learn from my mistakes. it's okay to cry your heart out but don't forget that there's always a second chance. be strong but don't forget to be yourself. you can be wild and carefree but don't forget to be serious at times. oh remember to laugh too! life is amazing and unfair at the same time... deal with it even if it's not the reality that you wanted!
300 posts
It's Just Not Right!
It's just not right!
please stop sending wrong signals to me. it'll only make the situation worse. please stop it now while i am still thinking. i don't want to make a sudden action and regret it after. i don't want it to be over between all of us coz i am now used of having you guys around. you're all my friends and i don't want to lose one of you. so please, i am begging you to make it clear to me. stop it if you're not serious. it is not just right...
More Posts from Iamkakasince1991
Pati ba naman 'yon?
All i want is to be happy. And this makes me happy. Why can't you understand that these people are the reason why i am smiling, laughing?... Don't you want me to be happy too? Will you always have to be the reason for my tears? Will you always be the reason why i am hurting? Why do you always do this to me? When will you stop? I am so tired of this but it seems like it has no end. Why? Why are you like this to me? Why can't we be on the same boat? Why do we always have to be opposites? Why do you make more reasons for me to stay away from you? Why do i even hope for the impossible?? Why do i always end up being the wrong one? Why am i always on the losing end? Why do i feel like you don't care about me at all? Why do i feel like i am the most unloved person? Why can't i stop these tears again? When will it stop? When will you be able to love me? When will you accept me for who i am? When are you going to care less for other people's business and start giving attention to me? When we gonna be on the same boat? When am i going to be able to say 'thank you' and 'i love you' to you?
Goodbye Blue, goodbye.
July 21, 2011. The day our dear God took him away from his loved ones. He died due to drowning in the river around 6pm… The kind boy with a gorgeous smile is now not with us… He is gone… forever. I had a big shock after reading a schoolmate’s facebook status abt his death. I was heartbroken after i saw it. I can’t believe it. I did not want to belive it at all. I went to check it on his FB and there i saw numerous wall posts saying ‘r.i.p. and/or we will miss you’… I wasn’t able to react well. I let out some tears drop because i cant understand what i was feeling at that moment. I was sad. I was tired. I was shocked. I was in denial. I was not in the mood to be strong. It was the saddest news i saw today. It was so unexpected and unwanted. The man i refer to as ‘my Blue Lan’ is now gone. I’ll never get to see him around the school’s campus again. No more pretty smiles and chinky eyes. No more ‘spying’ and ‘stalking’ for me. I’m gonna miss him tho we’ve never actually had conversations. Its just that i was and will be forever grateful to him for making me happy during the times i was having my major crush on him. From 2007, in my drama class til my previous college days, i will forever remember Mosha… Rest In Peace, my Blue… Be happy with our God and the angels in Heaven.
LOVE.
What's up with me? I've been like this for awhile now... It's scary yet exciting. It is new to me but I can't help but to always look forward to the day it will happen :) I'll be careful... really careful. But is that even possible when the only thing on my mind right now is LOVE... how to give LOVE... how to express LOVE... and to whom am i going to give my LOVE... Crazy isn't it?? But i guess that is just how it should be. No matter how hard i try to set it aside, it always come back to my senses. It always put me off guard. It is embarassing but it is the truth. LOVE, you confuse me! You bother me a lot. Let me have more time to think about this and be fully prepared...i want this to be special
Yes, i admit i am SELFISH.
I always think of what is best for me. I only care about issues i am involved with. I want everyone's attention on me! I want my family and friends to always notice me. I am SELFISH. Is that enough? Do you want to know why i am like this? Why i am so SELFISH? Well then why don't you start showing that you really actually love and cares for me... Why don't you try telling me i am important to you... Why don't you say you're proud of me... Why don't you stop expecting me to be the perfect?? Should i stop being SELFISH? Let me ask you something... When will you start recognizing my little sacrifices? When will you be honest to me? When will you tell me i am enough for you and you don't expect me to be the best? When am I going to gain self confidence? Or how am i going to believe in myself when i don't even feel my importance because of you... Am i asking for too much? Am i not allowed to be like this? Should i blame it all to myself? I don't think so. Why? Cause you made me be like this. Yes, i hafta blame it you too. I need you to know what i really feel. You will never know the real me unless you start understanding my feelings... I just want you to acknowledge me, to love me, to tell me you are proud of me... And to be honest with you, until now i still don't feel it. You still don't understand me. You still don't know the real me... Now, tell me again why i should stop being SELFISH...
Paulit-ulit lang??
Gosh anu ba ang gusto mong iparating sa akin talaga?? You were there again. I was being the stupid me again. I was crying... begging for your love as usual. I was hurting. I was hugging you, asking the same question over and over again... "Why cant it be me? Why?"... I know its impossible for you to even notice me but why do you keep on coming back in my 'place'?! Why do you keep confusing me with my feelings?! We both know that it will end up just like before. And in that moment... I saw myself crying again coz just like before... you said you cant love me. You told me i cant be the one for you. I am tired. I dont want to see this happening again. I dont want to let a single tear fall just because you hurt me again. This should end now... But i dont know how... I am not ready yet. But i feel like it should happen... I'll make sure it will happen. Sooner or later i'll end up accepting it anyways... It'll hurt but i'll get used to it. I know for sure you dont even care. And its not an issue to you at all... All im asking is to know the truth from you personally. When will that time come?? Idk when exactly. But i'll try to be prepared. When am i going to have the courage to 'talk' to you again?? I hafta end this.