it's my drama. appreciate my flaws & learn from my mistakes. it's okay to cry your heart out but don't forget that there's always a second chance. be strong but don't forget to be yourself. you can be wild and carefree but don't forget to be serious at times. oh remember to laugh too! life is amazing and unfair at the same time... deal with it even if it's not the reality that you wanted!
300 posts
Paulit-ulit Lang??
Paulit-ulit lang??
Gosh anu ba ang gusto mong iparating sa akin talaga?? You were there again. I was being the stupid me again. I was crying... begging for your love as usual. I was hurting. I was hugging you, asking the same question over and over again... "Why cant it be me? Why?"... I know its impossible for you to even notice me but why do you keep on coming back in my 'place'?! Why do you keep confusing me with my feelings?! We both know that it will end up just like before. And in that moment... I saw myself crying again coz just like before... you said you cant love me. You told me i cant be the one for you. I am tired. I dont want to see this happening again. I dont want to let a single tear fall just because you hurt me again. This should end now... But i dont know how... I am not ready yet. But i feel like it should happen... I'll make sure it will happen. Sooner or later i'll end up accepting it anyways... It'll hurt but i'll get used to it. I know for sure you dont even care. And its not an issue to you at all... All im asking is to know the truth from you personally. When will that time come?? Idk when exactly. But i'll try to be prepared. When am i going to have the courage to 'talk' to you again?? I hafta end this.
More Posts from Iamkakasince1991
i do not want to recieve another kind of this invitation because i dont want to say goodbye to anyone… Gawd i want to go to his memorial service so i can at least bid him a proper goodbye but i dont think they will expect me there to think that i am not close with him at all… I hope you are happy up there. I know you are with God and the angels and saints now… Be my angel too. this just made me sad again. I wished the notification i will get from him is a post saying ‘how are you?’ or even ‘who are you?’… Not an invitation to his memorial service. I regret not making a move to be one of his friends. He would have been a good best friend. Gawd i still cant believe he passed away already… Im going to miss you, my Blue :’(
It's just not right!
please stop sending wrong signals to me. it'll only make the situation worse. please stop it now while i am still thinking. i don't want to make a sudden action and regret it after. i don't want it to be over between all of us coz i am now used of having you guys around. you're all my friends and i don't want to lose one of you. so please, i am begging you to make it clear to me. stop it if you're not serious. it is not just right...
heartache.
Kapag nga naman tinopak ka di mo na mapipigilan ang sarili mo. Lahat ng di na dapat e gagawin at gagawin mo pa din... Hay hanggang kelan ka ba madadala ha?! So yeah just like the 'good' old days... as usual pinairal ko na naman katangahan ko and things happened that shouldn't have happened if i was thinking right. Again, i took the initiative to let him know that i still care about him. Well not like i still like him, i was just being concerned... well prolly being too nosy i guess... But still i only want the best for him. Unfortunately, dinedma niya lang ako. It kinda hurts cause i know i am the type of person na once you became a part of my life, you'll forever have a place in my heart and yeah i hate it when these people ignore me for no reason. I expect you to be like that too at least kahit sa akin man lang... as your friend. I mean i am concerned abt you why don't you be thankful at least. But nope, they'll be talking to other shits as if i didn't say something... Wow i wish i can take back my words and stop regretting this but nope i can't. Ang tanga tanga ko kasi eh! Di na ako natuto! Di na din ako nasanay... Yan tuloy nasasaktan na naman ako ng di oras. Teka is he still worth it? I mean yung feeling na ito, na nasasaktan ako... Is it worth it? Oh gosh di ko na alam ang pinagkaiba ng tama sa mali, katangahan over happiness, lying sa accepting the truth... kelan kaya ako matututo? Kelan ba dadating yung day na i'll give up everything after ko marealized na it's not worth it and i don't deserve it?? Kelan ba ako magiging happy kasi?... Lagi na lang akong nasasaktan. Lagi na lang akong nalulungkot. Lagi na lang akong pinagkakaisahan. Lagi na lang akong iniichapwera... It's hurting me and i will always be hurting. Stupid heartache. 3
Rejected!
And so the answer i have been waiting for was finally out. Thank you... for making me wait and think i finally found it. I am not mad at you. I am just sad coz i put my hopes up again and as usual the fate had fun playing with my feelings... I'll try to be smarter next time.
