Yang: And You Thought - Out Of Everyone In Our Friend Group - Her Big Sister In Particular Should Know

Yang: And you thought - out of everyone in our friend group - her big sister in particular should know this?

Jaune: Do you feel like beating me up?

Yang: Quite brutally, yes.

Jaune: Then I told exactly the right person.

Jaune: A girl shows interest in me. Literally cannot stop laughing at her abysmal ability to select mates.

Weiss: Why do I let you distract me?

Yang: Because you know I should be the main focus.

Weiss: Adorable. *turns to Ruby* We're not taking them.

Ruby: I might have died, but I know I didn't make you leader.

Weiss: Ruby!

Ruby: What, too soon?

Yang: Dark, sis.

Ruby: Too bad. I'm still in charge. Ren and Nora are joining RWBY.

Weiss: Look, Ruby, we don't need to add Ren and Nora to the team! We already have enough diversity with a faunus and a robot!

Yang: Hey, I'm not a robot! I'm a cyborg!

Weiss: Whatever! You're not human!

Yang: Hey, in my heart, I'm all human!

Weiss: In your heart, you're a pervert!

Yang: (smiles) Ah, so you understand after all!

Weiss: That was not a compliment!

Yang: I'm choosing to take it as one anyways.

Weiss: Honestly, you are so impossible!

Yang: I thought I was a robot.

Weiss: You are a robot! At least 10% of you is a machine!

Yang: (Looks at her arm) Mm... I'd say closer to 15.

Weiss: Ignore her, Jaune. She's trying to cope and seethe, as Yang would say.

Ilia: You don't know what you're talking about.

Weiss: Our feline friend rejected 3 faunus for a blonde, pale-skinned human girl, and you're picking on the only other blonde, pale-skinned member of our group. Subtle.

Ilia: Seeing things that aren't there.

Weiss: I imagine it was quite a shock, that the one person you ever pined after didn't reject you for your sex but for your race.

Ilia: Watch your mouth, filthy Schnee. Or I'll-

Weiss: You watch your mouth, you spiteful peasant. Jaune might let it slide, but I won't. Apologize to him, or this gets back to Blake.

Ilia: Is that supposed to scare me?

Weiss: Who do you think she'll side with? Sweet, loveable Jaune Arc who she's looked up to since childhood?

Ilia: Now you're definitely making shit up.

Weiss: Or the psycho who almost got her parents murdered?

Ilia: She forgave me!

Weiss: Forgiveness does not beget friendship.

Ilia: I thought you were one of the good ones!

Weiss: And I always knew you were one of the bad.

Just ignore this one. I needed to vent and this was pretty much the only constructive way I can do this. Just move along.

Ilia: Racist.

Jaune: Huh?

Ilia: Yeah. You. Fucking bigot.

Jaune: What- What did I do?

Ilia: You're alive. That's enough.

Jaune: I- What are you talking about? What is going on?

Ilia: First, you're pale-skinned with blond hair and blue eyes. Failure at birth.

Jaune: Wh-

Ilia: Second, you're a human male. No diversity at all, and just garbage as a concept.

Jaune: I-

Ilia: And last, the only thing you've ever accomplished was done because of others. You never had to struggle or work hard to get where you are, because you are a walking waste of air long overdue for retirement AND extinction.

Jaune: ...You do realize how terrible you look, right? Like, you're racially profiling and acting awfully bigoted.

Ilia: I have no idea what you're talking about. You're human. You can't be racist to humans.

Was Jaune ever real? Was Ilia really herself? Who knows? Who cares? Like I said, just ignore this one.

Harriet: What, are you paraplegic?

Emerald: How do you expect me to leave a floating prison on my own? Walk off the edge?

Harriet: While I wouldn't be opposed, I'm legally required to discourage actions of potential self-harm.

Emerald: Wow, so caring.

Harriet: Too caring for a criminal, honestly.

Emerald: Atlas tool.

Harriet: Better a tool than a dreg like you.

Emerald: Know what? You can kiss my-

Jaune: Hi, Emmy!

Emerald: J-Jaune?

Harriet: "Emmy"?

Emerald: Shut up. Jaune, what is that hunk of junk you're flying?

Jaune: Ol' Betsy isn't a "hunk of junk". With 53 years of service, she's the most reliable air taxi money can afford.

Emerald: You don't have any money.

Jaune: Well, not after paying for a round trip I don't.

Emerald: ...is that thing missing screws?

Jaune: Just the extra ones. Now hop on!

Harriet: Well looks like you get your ride after all, Emmy!

Emerald: I hope this dump falls like Atlas.

Jaune: I found out today that Emerald is getting released from prison early.

Yang: Oh, for good behavior?

Jaune: Nah, overcrowding.

Jaune: Maybe...but what if there's two of them?

Yang: Oh babe, worry about this one before thinking about another.

Jaune: No, I mean if we have twins.

Yang: ...what?

Jaune: You know: 2 boys or 2 girls, birthed at the same time.

Yang: ...

Jaune: Although I guess they can be a boy and girl, too. Aren't Qrow and your mom-

Yang: (yanks him by the neck of his onesie so that they're face-to-face) Don't.

Jaune: (red eyes, bad sign) Sweetie?

Jaune: ...

Yang: What's wrong, Jaune?

Jaune: When I was a kid, I had Dad. And when I got to Beacon, I had Pyrrha. And now, I dunno if I can-

Yang: (Flicks his nose) Ya wanna know what I remember most about Pyrrha? It was how much trust she put in you. (Holds cheeks) And it wasn't just her. Ren, Nora... Hell, even RWBY believed in you before all of Remnant did. (Stares into his aqua eyes)

Jaune: (Stares into her lavender eyes)

Yang: (Lays down) Let's just go to bed already.

Jaune: (Cuddles her) Y'know, I'm really scared to do this, but I'm also really excited. It'll be a whole new experience for us. (Rubs her belly) All three of us.

Yang: (Smiling)

Jaune: (Smiling)

Yang: ...I've been thinking of some names. Like, if they're a boy.

Jaune: What if they're a girl?

Yang: Well... I have a feeling you already have something in mind.

Jaune: You're right. The nerdy, pretty girl from Scooby-Doo would totally have higher standards than you.

Weiss: What's that supposed to mean?

Jaune: It means you were falling over yourself in the Ever After to get my attention.

Weiss: T-those were special circumstances.

Jaune: Oh yeah, I was more "mature" back then.

Weiss: Ahp-...gah-...you!

Jaune: At least it's something to look forward to in a few years.

Weiss: Not if I KILL you before then!

Jaune: ...Y'know what? I'd fuck Velma Dinkley.

Weiss: But would she fuck you? Come now, Arc. Humble yourself.