Warren Stone - Tumblr Posts

Oh look, a midnight comic for another fandom. Fancy that. ...And don't you dare tell me this would never happen.

So I noticed the worm guy uses the... ...Warrenfinity Gauntlet.

They’re making fun of Gameshow contestants together 

COMMISSIONS OPEN

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans

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Donnie: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Donnie: i became more evil if you’re curious Raph: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Donnie: i’m going to get worse on purpose

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Splinter, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Draxum: You did WHAT– Mikey: William Snakepeare

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Warren, tending to Hypno's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Hypno: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

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Repo: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. Leo: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

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Big Mama: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

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April: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Cassandra: You mean literally or figuratively? April: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

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Huginn: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Muninn: You need to stop.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 2

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Raph: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Leo: Oh, I’m always running Leo: The question is from what

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Splinter: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

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Warren: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? April: *chugs entire bottle* April: It’s perfume.

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Donnie: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited Huginn: If? Muninn: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

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Mikey: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

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Draxum, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me Big Mama, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

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Hypno: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Meat Sweats: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 3

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Leo: We call that a traumatic experience. Leo, turning to Raph: Not a "bruh moment". Leo, turning to Mikey: Not "sadge". Leo, turning to Donnie: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

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Big Mama: Life is like Splinter. It's short.

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Meat Sweats: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?" Warren: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name. Repo: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"

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Splinter: I am in charge of this disaster! April: I have a name, you know.

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Draxum: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

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Donnie: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey! Leo: But I'm a vegan. Donnie: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

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Raph: You're smiling. What happened? Cassandra: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Casey II: Mikey tripped and fell down the stairs today.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 4

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Raph: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have? Splinter: Dorito’s cool ranch. Raph: Raph: I'm just gonna assume zero for now. Splinter: I love that song.

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April: What did you two do?

Donnie: Leo:

April: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

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Mikey: That's not funny. Draxum: I thought it was funny. Mikey: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

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Casey II: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

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The Squad: *walking at the mall* Big Mama: Hey, have any of you guys seen Repo? They’ve been gone for a while.. Meat Sweats: Eh, nope. Warren: No, I haven’t... Hypno: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. Repo: Hey. Big Mama: Ooh, there you are- Meat Sweats: What the fu- Hypno: I- where were you?! Repo: Walking right behind you guys.

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Cassandra: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Todd: What did you do Cassandra? Cassandra: a Mistake.

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Mikey: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? April: Schrödinger's boys. Leo: FUCK! Raph: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Donnie: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Donnie: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Mikey: ... April: ... Leo: ... Raph: ... Donnie: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: ~Games Edition~

[Disney Villainous]

Mikey, as Prince John: And just what do you think you're doing with all that Power, Donald?

Donnie, as Captain Hook: No, you see, I need money so I can hire people to beat the crap out of this child.

Raph, as Pete: I'm sorry, WHAT--

April, as Jafar: *wHEEZE*

Leo, as Yzma: *typing on his phone* How...much...does it cost...to kill...a child?

Raph: LEO!!!! DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP ON SOME KIND OF WATCH LIST?!

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[Mario Kart Wii]

Warren, passing the first-place CPU at the beginning of the third lap: MWAHAHAHAHA! Eat my dust, loser!

[Cue lightning, followed by a blue shell, followed by a red shell, and being run over by someone using a Mega Mushroom just to add insult to injury]

Warren: Are. You. KIDDING ME?! YOU HAVE JUST MADE YOURSELF A POWERFUL ENEMY, BABY PEACH!!

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[Sorry!]

Splinter, bumping one of Draxum's pieces back to its starting point: Oops! Sorry~!

Draxum: You don't seem too sorry about it...

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[Monopoly]

Meat Sweats: And just how do you already own half the board?

Repo, very smugly: I got good business sense, is all.

Meat Sweats: No one's even traded anything yet!!! I think the stupid game's rigged...

Repo: Ah, you're only sayin' that 'cause you've been sent to jail five times, and I haven't. Maybe you'd have more property if yous wasn't a wanted criminal~

Meat Sweats: Well, maybe you'd be serving a bit more time if you didn't always conveniently have a "get out of jail free" card with you...

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[Mario Party Superstars]

Cassandra, on the 3-player side of Tug of War: *violently rotating the joystick on her controller* MY PALM MAY BE BURNING WITH THE FURY OF THE SUN, BUT I! WILL! NOT! LOSE!!!

Sunita, as the single player: *also violently rotating her joystick* Well, I sure as heck don't intend to lose, either!! ...Even if I am also in a world of pain...!

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[Pandemic]

Todd: Okay, so, how many outbreaks do we have until we lose?

Bullhop, flipping over the top card of the infection deck: Gah, it's Istanbul...but it's not over yet! We've still got another outbreak until we're done. We just need to--wait, it's connected to Karachi, isn't it? ... *deep sigh* It's over. We just lost...

Todd: ...Oh. Oh... *sniffles* We failed the entire planet...!

Bullhop: *hugs Todd* It's okay. Everyone else may be dead, but we still have each other.

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[Ticket to Ride]

Hypno: What do you mean I can't build a railway from Paris to Zurich?! I have three cards of the same color! That's how it works for everything else!!

Muninn, flipping through the rulebook: Let's see... With tunnels, you need to draw three cards from the deck to see if they match what you're going to play. If they do, you need to play that many additional cards.

Hypno: ...

Huginn: Yeah, it's just as stupid as it sounds.

Hypno: I'll say...

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 9

April: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

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Splinter: I hate to to tell you this, but one of you was adopted. Leo & Raph: Leo: Was it Raph?

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Draxum: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without? Muninn: Huginn, probably.

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Todd, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Mikey: Blue flavor! Todd: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Mikey: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Todd: Blue is not a flavor! Mikey: BLUE FLAVOR!

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Jase: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Donnie: No, that's not how you make cookies. Kendra: FLOOR IT!! Jase: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Donnie: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Jase:I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Jeremy: DO IT! Donnie: NO-

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Warren: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Hypno: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Warren: But you’re always acting stupid? Hypno: ... Hypno: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

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Leo: Why does Raph always do the laundry so loudly? April: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house. Raph, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part ~10~

Mikey: Raph, do you love me? Raph: Of course I do! Mikey: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Raph: Well, of course I… would… Mikey: I mean something really, really— Raph: Mikey, what did you do?

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Leo: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Casey II: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Leo: Not when you’re playing with Cassandra, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

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Warren, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

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Splinter, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. April: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Splinter: I have depression, what do you think?

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Huginn: Today at 7 am, Muninn poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Draxum: I watched Muninn brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. Big Mama: The survivability of the gargoyle race never fails to amaze me.

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Baxter: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

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Repo: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee. Meat Sweats: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

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Donnie: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

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April: So we're gonna read what we wrote down so we can tell everyone in the class something about ourselves. Raph: Okay, my name is Raph but you can refer to me as Lord Farquad. April: Okay that's not happening- how about you! Mikey: I'm Mikey and I like the movie White Chicks! April: ...Okay... whatever, I respect that. Donnie: My name is Donnie and I hate this place, it actually sucks here... April: Okay... and you... Leo: *nervous* Uhhh my name is Person E and my favorite color is... math.

Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: Part 11

Raph: Yeah I'm LGBT. Raph: cuLt leader. Raph: God hates me personally. Raph: cowBoy hat. Raph: *sniffles* Trying my best.

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Donnie: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- April: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

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Leo: Look at the buns on that guy! Hueso: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns* Mikey: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Leo: I'm not going back to jail!

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Casey II, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Splinter: Gray. Cassandra: Grey. Casey II, turning to Draxum: Now tell them what color you think it is. Draxum: Dark white.

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Repo: You're just jealous. All my friends tell me I remind them of Hypno. The Squad: *screaming* Ghost Bear: He looks like Hypno? Are you out of your fucking MIND? Warren: Hypno, sweetie, I am SO sorry. I am SO SORRY that an ugly-ass bitch like this would even say that. Oh my god. Ghost Bear: Hypno? Hypno? Hypno? You know who you fucking look like? You fucking look like Albearto!

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Bullhop: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Honey Badger: Okay, but what is updog? Groundhog: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Prairie Dog: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Todd: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Sunita: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Bullhop: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Prairie Dog: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Groundhog: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Honey Badger: What’s a henway?? Bullhop: Oh, about five pounds.

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Leo: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much? Donnie: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is! Leo: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!! Donnie: You take that back!!! Leo: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 12

Mikey: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Leo: 'Prettiest Smile' April: 'Nicest Personality' Donnie: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Raph: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

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Big Mama: *seductively takes off glasses* Wow, you're... blurry.

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Muninn: So, what is Huginn to you? Draxum: The reason I wake up every morning. Muninn: ...That’s adorable. Huginn earlier that morning, barging into Draxum′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

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S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., trying to comfort Splinter: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

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Foot Lieutenant: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Warren: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Foot Lieutenant: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Warren: But I heard a siren. Foot Brute: That was Hypno. Hypno: Sorry, I got nervous.

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Splinter: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

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Raph: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? April: Can't relate. Mikey: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 13

Splinter: I’m quick at math. Donnie: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? Splinter: 24. Donnie: That wasn’t even close. Splinter: But it was quick.

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Draxum: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Draxum: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

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Leo: We have fun, don’t we, Hueso? Hueso: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

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Ghost Bear: I am your king, long may I reign! Albearto: Well I didn’t vote for you! Ghost Bear: You don’t vote for kings. Albearto: Well how’d you become king then? Ghost Bear: Baxter of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Ghost Bear, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Albearto: Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

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*At a bank teller window* Warren, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit! April: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU! Warren: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube* April: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

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Raph: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults! Sunita: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best? Raph: Obviously. Now, Todd, pass the shovel.

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Donnie: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight? Leo: Why? Donnie: Raph fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours. Big Mama: Mikey doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 14

Mikey: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

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Big Mama: What are you two arguing about this time? Draxum: He's always using common phrases incorrectly! Splinter: Cry me a table, Draxum.

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Leo: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Casey II: What the hell!? Leo: Oh, sorry, my bad. Leo, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Casey II, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

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Raph: *gets set on fire and screams in agony* Raph: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

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Ghost Bear: Albearto, we're hungry! Hypno: Albearto! What's for dinner? Warren: We're hungry, Albearto! Albearto, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

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Kendra: Is Donnie always like this when they lose? Jase: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Donnie: You bumped that table and you know it!

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April: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products! April: *sprays hairspray in her mouth* April: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 16

Leo: Heyyy Raph, how’s your… drink?? Raph: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee. Leo: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker* Raph: *Looks to coffee maker* *Cement sitting beside the coffee maker* Raph:...I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

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Warren: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

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April: A sprite is anything not static. Splinter: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Draxum: A sprite is a fucking soda. Draxum: You god damn geekass bastards.

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Big Mama: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Foot Lieutenant’* Foot Brute: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

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Donnie: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Mikey periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’ Donnie: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

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Hypno: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

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Mikey: *watching their house burn down* Mikey: Mikey: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 17

Mikey: Today, Leo took my phone, and in five minutes, they sent high resolution close-up photos of Casey II to the following people: Raph, Donnie, April, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

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Cassandra: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Sunita: Why are we so fucking awesome? Cassandra: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

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Draxum: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Draxum: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Muninn: ...That took an unexpected turn. Huginn: So did their neck.

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Warren: Which country has the most birds? Warren: Portu-geese! Meat Sweats: That's a language. Warren: Portu-gull? Meat Sweats: Good recovery. Repo: I think you mean good re-dovery. Hypno: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

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Otto von Bearto: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked. Bayou 'Bearto: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right? Albearto: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time. Chef Albéar: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy! Al-beardo: ...put it away.

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Baxter on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh. Baxter on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

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Big Mama: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year. Draxum: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues? Splinter: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 18

April, having recently lost her glasses: KILL THE BUG!!! Warren: ....That’s a gecko—

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Casey II: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Leo: Please don’t get arrested. Casey II: No promises! <3 Mikey: Why not both? Get creative! Casey II: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Leo: Please don’t encourage him, Mikey.

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Raph: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Splinter: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Raph: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Donnie: Edible.

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Repo: I would do anything for money. *later* Repo, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!

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Cassandra: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you? Draxum: Cassandra, it's four o'clock in the morning. Cassandra: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

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Karai, writing in her diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

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Donnie: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 19

April: Why is Mikey crying? Leo: He saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- Mikey: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! April: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say- Mikey: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! April: NO, NOT THAT!

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Splinter: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on himself*

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Raph: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container. Todd: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

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Big Mama, teaching Foot Lieutenant to drive: Okay, you're driving and Foot Brute and Draxum walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Foot Lieutenant: Oh, definitely Draxum. I could never hurt Foot Brute. Big Mama, massaging her temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

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Warren: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) Hypno: What's that? Warren: Remorse code. Hypno: I'm even angrier now.

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Jupiter Jim: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Red Fox and not do the thing, Jupiter Jim: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Jupiter Jim: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

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Donnie: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. Donnie: I will not yield.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part ~20~

Sorry for the wait. I got distracted by stuff at school and a busy weekend after returning home for the summer. I'll try not to let such a long hiatus happen again unless absolutely necessary. With that said...

LET'S GET THIS TRAIN ROLLING!

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Raph: I’m so excited! Mikey: We’re gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy... Raph: And have the biggest stomach aches ever! Mikey: Yeah!

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Splinter: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

~ April: I just drank a lego piece. Warren: ...what the hell?! You melted plastic and drank the liquid? April: Yes. Warren: Why did you even melt a lego in the first place?! April: Because it looked like chocolate! So I drank it! You know, like a chocolate shake?

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Leo: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul! Donnie: Why is Cassandra's a monster? Cassandra: Leo, you forgot Donnie's! Its only an empty space! Leo, proudly: Exactly

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Big Mama: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

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Baxter: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Draxum? Draxum: …Not really. Baxter: Nothing? Draxum: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

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Meat Sweats: When life gives you lemons, what do you do? Albearto: Make lemonade! Meat Sweats: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with its own shit.

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Huginn: If there’s one thing I learned from Muninn, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

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Ghost Bear: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.

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Sunita: I can be your partner for the next race. Hypno: Sorry, Sunita. It's a sibling race. Todd: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this. Hypno: It's only children, Todd. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!